Breadionary
Description: a spell that grants you the ability to summon from thin air the perfect type of bread for your needs.
Functionality: Once casted you receive one of these types of bread (at your choice)
• Baguette: Hard crust, light and airy inside, slightly nutty flavor. +2 Animal Handling
• Brioche: Soft and fluffy, slightly sweet and buttery. +2 Nature
• Ciabatta: Hard crust, chewy inside, mild sour flavor. +2 Sleight of Hand
• Focaccia: Soft and oily, herby and savory flavor. +2 Medicine
• Sourdough: Hard crust, chewy and dense, tangy flavor. +2 Intimidation
• Pita: Soft and pocketed, neutral and slightly chewy. +2 Arcana
• Naan: Soft and pillowy, buttery and slightly tangy. +2 History
• Rye: Dense and firm, earthy and slightly sour flavor. +2 Survival
• Challah: Soft and slightly chewy, mildly sweet and eggy. +2 Stealth
• Multigrain: Firm crust, grainy texture, nutty and wholesome flavor. +2 Acrobatics
• Cornbread: Soft and crumbly, sweet and corn-forward flavor. +2 Athletics
• Bagel: Chewy crust and inside, mildly sweet and malty flavor. +2 Investigation
• English Muffin: Soft with a crisp outside when toasted, mildly tangy flavor. +2 Perfomance
• Panettone: Soft and airy, sweet with hints of citrus and dried fruit. +2 Religion
• Lavash: Thin and soft, slightly chewy and neutral flavor. +2 Insight
• Pretzel Bread: Firm crust with soft inside, salty and malty flavor. +2 Deception
• Injera: Spongy and soft, tangy and fermented flavor. + 2 Perception
• Zopf: Soft and braided, slightly sweet and eggy flavor. + 2 Persuasion.
The caster can also choose to roll 1d4:
The bonus becomes -2 instead
The bonus stays the same
The bonus stays the same
The bonus becomes +4
At level 10: the d4 changes to a d6 with similar effects
The bonus becomes -6
The bonus becomes -4
The bonus becomes -2
The bonus stays the same
The bonus becomes +4
The bonus becomes +6
(Note: when the bonus turns into a negative number the taste is still perfect and the bread still feel like the perfect snack for the occasion, only after the 10 minutes the taste will resurface as horrible causing the player to vomit profusely and gain +1 Exhaustion Point)
Inspiration: BREAD DAYYY
Psychic Fox
Description: A seemingly normal Giant Fox that, only at night, looks like a fox being looked through a thermal sight.
Functionality: The Psychic Fox will first appear to the party during the day, looking at them from afar and studying them during an encounter or analysing their actions. If the Psychic Fox is approached, the party gets blinded and deafened for 6 seconds, after that it all goes back to normal but the Psychic Fox is disappeared. Any way to find or trace the Psychic Fox fails automatically.
The night after:
If the Psychic Fox deemed the party worthy, they’ll find a cub of Psychic Fox next to them when they wake up. The original Psychic Fox will sometimes reappear, to check on the cub, for the next 6d6 days, after that, it will never show up again. The cub is one week old (determinable by the party only after a successful Nature check).
If the Psychic Fox deemed the party unworthy, they’ll find their food missing, and the Psychic Fox will never show up again.
Once the cub is 1 month old it’ll be loyal enough to be able to aid the party:
1/day it can deafen for 6 seconds all enemies or non-allies in a 10ft radius
1/day it can blind for 6 seconds all enemies or non-allies in a 10ft radius
Small size
Understands Common and Sylvan
At 2 months:
2/day it can deafen for 6 seconds all enemies or non-allies in a 20ft radius
2/day it can blind for 6 seconds all enemies or non-allies in a 20ft radius
Bite and scratch attack
1/day can cast Minor Illusion
1/day can cast Mirror Image
Understands one other language (the most used in the party except Common or one of the languages their favourite party member speaks)
At 3 months:
3/day it can deafen for 6 seconds all enemies or non-allies in a 30ft radius
3/day it can blind for 6 seconds all enemies or non-allies in a 30ft radius
Medium size
2/day Minor illusion
1/day Hypnotic Pattern
At 4 months:
3/day Minor Illusion
2/day Mirror Image
2/day Hypnotic Pattern
1/day Major Image
No one is the owner of a Psychic Fox, not even when it’s a cub. The decisions are all made by the DM during battle. If spoken to with Soeak with Animal or other mechanics, it will have a Primordial accent (described as a guttural way of speaking by those not familiar with Primordial). The Psychic Fox will disappear after 4 and a half months for two weeks, before returning for one lasts month (presumably to have a baby and give it to another party).
At 5 months:
5/day Minor Illusion
4/day Mirror Image
4/day Hypnotic Pattern
3/day Major Image
1/day Seeming
1/day Weird
After 5 months and a half the Psychic Fox will disappear, forever. It will leave only X luminous spheres of light that when touched grants those who did it a sense of well being and immunity to being blinded and deafened. Those who gained a Psychic Fox blessing can also, only at night, focus and look like under a thermal sight until concentration ends.
Inspiration: the amazing artwork of @kittydisk (I procrastinated this so much and I don’t know why)
Blood Explosion Disease
Description: The character’s veins burst and their skin is torn as blood rushes out of their body at high speed, coating the surroundings with blood. Then the skin reforms back to its normal state. The first part is not a painless process. Neither is the second part. If the next rest of the character will be a long rest, they won’t be able to do anything beside sleeping. If the next rest is scheduled to be a short rest, and the character is forced to continue their journey, they’ll have +2 points of fatigue until the next long rest.
Functionality: 1/long rest. When using this trait the player rolls a d4 to determinate how much blood they’ll lose:
0.5 liter of blood: the character takes 2d12 of damage, anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 10(with disadvantage their first time, advantage after the fourth) on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+X of damage
1 liter of blood: the character takes 2d12+5 of damage, anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 14, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d6+X of damage
1.5 liter of blood: the character takes 3d12+5 of damage, gets their speed reduced by 5 ft, they can hold their breath for -Y minutes and have a -2 on strength, dexterity, wisdom and charisma checks and saving throws. Anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 16, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d8+X of damage
2 liters of blood: the character takes 2d8+1d6 of damage, gets their speed reduced by 5 ft , they can hold their breath for -Y minutes and have a -4 on strength, dexterity, wisdom and charisma checks and saving throws. Anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 18, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d8+X of damage
The AoE is a circle around the player with a 20ft DIAMETER.
X equals the class level of the player using the feat (a level 2Wiz/4Barb will use 4, not 6)
Y equals the lowest stat of the player using the feat -1. If it’s positive it becomes negative: if Cha +1 is the lowest, it becomes -1, then take -1 again, so -2=Y.
Inspiration: the meme above and that one blood post of @yaboywillyshakes (formerly adventuresintimeandspace). Your blood will never be forgotten @yaboywillyshakes
Kobold Bank
Description: A small Kobold made of porcelain, you can put coins in there and it will possibly add a few more when you collect them.
Functionality: Xd4 - (X/2) Where X is the total of coins you put inside the Kobold Bank. To function, X needs to be an even number, if you shake the Kobold Bank and X is an odd number you roll 1d4
1= nothing comes out
2= Only half of X comes out
3= 2/3 of X come out (round down)
4= X coins come out
Inspiration: The meme above (thanks @piratequeen1017)
Mining War Elephants
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Description: Elephants with tusks that are made of various metals, from iron to mithril and even adamantium, that they can make them spin at high speed to use them as underground drills to mine or to attack their enemies. The material of their tusks resembles their strength and power, every 3 months they fall and new ones reform in two days, in this time the material can change into something weaker or stronger if the strength of the Mining War Elephant has changed, it only depends on how strong the mount has become.
The tusks can also be manually replaced with ones that are made of stronger materials. Creating from 0 new Tusks will take 1d6 days (max 4 if the forger is a Dwarf, max 3 if they’re a blacksmith or an artisan, max 2 if both) to create two tusks, then you need to wait for the Elephant’s tusk to fall naturally, to put the forged tusks into their place, roll both an Animal Handling and a Medicine check, if the result is higher than 14 you succeed, on a lower roll the Elephant will refuse new tusks for 24h because your player hurtled them on accident. (You have two attempts, after that normal tusks will grow and you’ll need to wait 3 months). Only Dwarves can persuade the Mining War Elephants into retrying on the same day after a fail.
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Inspiration: the meme of @dwarf-posting about the epic fact shared by @zinjanthropusboisei (thanks to both!)
View on Twitter
These pictures are killing me
What? A non D&D post? Yeah, cause the safety of my non verbal children comes first babeee
Dagger of Betrayal
Description: an old looking dagger, clearly made by someone very experienced in the craft, a red unidentified gemstone in its handle emits an ominous dim light
Functionality: A dagger that deals 2d12 additional damage to those who see the wielder as an ally and charmed enemies.
Inspiration: I’m going to have so much fun today
Rat
Class: Thief
Race: ?
Description: She’s either a Ratfolk or an Halfling, nobody can tell. Asking it to her will only raise the chances of both getting ignored and robbed. She wears magic sandals that always make noise to challenge herself when stealing, if she takes them off, she becomes so powerful and sneaky that even her shadow stop noticing her.
Converse
Class: Barbarian
Race: Dwarf
Description: She doesn’t speak Common but can understand it. It’s not like she’s too dumb to learn it, she simply never learned and now she doesn’t think it’s that important for her to know how to speak. Everyone in the party seem to always understand what she wants and she’s happy like that because even without speaking her “family” always listen to her.
Wolf
Class: Warlock
Race: Human Werewolf
Description: His tattoo is the symbol of his patron and the origin of his curse, the bandana is a gift from the patron to him, but wearing it too much makes Wolf suffer, forcing him to still having to unleash his wolf form at full power once in a while.
Eyes
Class: Monk
Race: Elf
Description: Being totally blind, they refined all their other senses and are now even able to see the auras of the creatures surrounding them, thanks to their perfect control of Chi. Even if they’re not as powerful as other monks, they are still a valuable party member.
The Captain
Class: Arteficer
Race: Orc
Description: Has a warm and fatherly personality, always laughing with his strangely deep voice. He’s the proud owner and creator of the magnificent Nautilus, a weird-looking but fast vehicle that the party loves using.
Goggles
Class: Wizard
Race: Human
Description: He was the lone wolf of the party, but after Wolf joined he lost the title, now that Wolf is the leader he doesn’t look like the same. Goggles is the one carrying around the Nautilus, stored inside his magic pockets, even if his strength is never enough to take it out by himself and The Captain always steps in to (in his own words) “Not hurt his baby”, talking about the Nautilus.
Temporary Sacrifice
Effect: The user use all their magic and put it into an object, losing the ability to use magic in any way, receiving tho a +2 into their stats, +5 to hit, +1d12 to any attack they deal. If they die they loose these bonuses but after 24h from their death they return in a 5ft radius from the object that then retrieves all the magic stored and breaks. If after 24h they aren’t dead yet, they roll a d20, on a Nat20 they get 24h more hours, if they roll anything else they die on the spot and everything returns at normal.
The equipment that the player wore at death is teleported with them, their weapon/s too even if it slipped from their hands at death.
After being teleported the player rolls a [(LevelOfTheCharacter) +3]d4, they lose that amount of Max HP until they have a long rest
Notes: If it’s a spell then the object will be decided by the character, if it’s a magic item then that’s the object where the user magic will be stored.
When the dead return into a 5ft radius from the object, the object breaks only if it was a Magic Item. In case it was a spell, the cool-down is 1 year.
Inspiration: The Viking of Stamford Bridge
I’m both these people and I hate it
there is an IMAGE in my HEAD and i cannot DRAW IT. hatred and rage.
(A mini plot, since your players will not follow the main one, that you can use to guide your players to follow the main one)
Poly-wrath
Description: The party antagonised/had a fight with/stole from an NPC, unfortunately for them, that NPC is not a god or the BBEG (those are common things for Adventurers), no that NPC is actually in a polyamorous relationship with A LOT of people, who all treat the NPC like a teddy bear, and when they hear how the players treated their favourite teddy bear, they will be sure to make them regret it.
Functionality: Maybe not all the partners are adventurers/warriors, so the majority of them will not directly attack the players (or maybe the NPC asked them not to and they reluctantly promised). Put them as the tavern’s owner, so the players will either prohibited to enter or would find their stay very uncomfortable (keep it fun tho, it needs to hurt the character not the player); or maybe one of them is a wagon driver and takes the players for a low price ( “A discount for the pretty lady” or “Because you’re a lot I’ll give you a discount” but in this last case be sure to give the players a chance to someone who doesn’t want to give them the discount and to someone who wants, aka the NPC’s partner) but instead of taking them where they wanted they “lost the way” or maybe leaves the party there after having sent camp for the night (maybe also giving the players only a short rest if you make that the Wagon driver offers to do the first round of guarding to “take care of the horses in the meantime”)
Inspiration: this meme of @retrogamingblog2 that my bf sent me ⬇️
she/her 🏳️⚧️ 20Send me random posts and memes and I’ll turn them into D&D homebrewSomehow 99% of my stuff is cat-related
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