Happy Fingers In His Ass Sunday, It Was An Honor Serving You All 

Me: farming

The HD texture pack villager watching me “steal” his crops again:

Hwats the gender neutral term for eboy and egirl

oh no the horrors are back [<- horrors had never left or ceased]

It's really simple. If you're born with a vagina and you naturally have elevated testosterone levels, you're a man. If you have a vagina and you take testosterone, you're a woman. But also if you have a vagina, you'll never be a man. But also if you have higher testosterone then you were never a woman. Woman never yes man a vagina testosterone no was an elevated. Vagina man.

Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplastics 

sorry for mother fuckin

I hate explaining jokes but this fucking scene from Kung Pow makes me lose my shit every time: 

The children screaming “We’re children!” like they’re Pokemon

Cans of Pringles in the background 

Shopkeeper’s voice breaking the microphone levels 

“Babe-y”! 

The shitty cgi hand with the phone

He doesn’t even dial the phone

“his flesh was soft between another man’s teeth” sounds like a line from poetry about lovers who keep meeting as enemies lifetime after lifetime. but it’s actually a response to a fool mad that a hockey player got suspended 5 games for biting another player hard enough to draw blood