I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT HIM!!!!

i will ALWAYS love a figure skating au! ⛸️

twizzle into my heart — nishimura riki

synopsis. Falling in love when your sport is your top priority is hard, and nobody knows this better than you and Nishimura Riki. You two tried to make it work, but things didn't end up like you both wanted it to. But, when you and Riki cross paths again 4 years later at 4 Continents, old feelings resurface, and you find that Nishimura Riki comes twizzling straight into your heart once again.

genre. fluff, angst, exes to friends to lovers, slowburn, figure skating au

warnings. swearing, mentions of injury, riki is 21, reader is 21. both riki and reader compete for japan, set during the 2026/2027 figure skating season

wordcount. 25.4k (whoops)

author’s note. it's finally here :) timh! rikiyn will forever hold a very very special place in my heart and i !!! hope you love them as much as i do :,) here's a playlist i made if you'd like to listen to the songs i listened to while reading !! i hope you all enjoy reading and i love getting feedback and comments so pls lmk ur thoughts on this !! ^_^ i hope you love it

ONE. harder than a quad axel 

When it comes to love, Nishimura Riki is no stranger to getting hurt. 

Being a competitive athlete whilst trying to find love at the same time is surprisingly hard, he’s realised over his 21 years of existence. Figure skating is his career, it’s his life – but most of the people he’s ever been with never seem to understand the dedication he has for the sport. 

Riki thinks that skating is what makes him whole. If he didn’t have the ice, he’d feel like a part of him would be missing. 

On his list of priorities, skating comes on top of the podium. Love is left with 2nd place, a silver medal. Nobody he’s ever liked has ever come close to understanding how Riki can’t put love above figure skating. 

Nobody until he met you. 

He had met you at Junior Nationals 7 years ago, when you were sitting in the stands, watching the women’s free skate. He was sitting next to you, and you had decided to start a conversation with him. He learnt that you were a pairs skater, partnered with Takahashi Keiji, one of Riki’s old friends from primary school. 

You two had gotten lost in your conversation, completely forgetting about the performances in front of you. Talking to you was fun, and Riki found that he enjoyed your presence. A lot. 

It wasn’t long before you and Riki got closer. Every time that you both had spare time (which, to be fair, wasn’t often), you two would hang out together, going to various cafes and talking for hours and hours on end. You and Riki would also go to arcades, where you watched as he played with multiple claw machines, and he gave you one of the Hello Kitty plushies that he won. 

Everyone knew that you and Riki were bound to have developed feelings for each other. It was just a matter of time before you two realised, and when you two finally did, your friends both wasted no time on telling you both to just confess. 

Even though you had a feeling that Riki liked you back, you were always too scared to tell him about your feelings. But, when Taki blurted it out in front of the both of you accidentally during a training session, it led to you both confessing your feelings to each other – after all, it was all out in the open now. 

You both swear that Taki did it on purpose, but the boy still maintains his innocence. 

You two had both established early on in your relationship that your careers were important, and skating was of the utmost importance to the both of you. Riki was elated to have finally found someone who understood how he felt. You two know better than anyone that finding love is hard when figure skating is the most important thing in your life – and you have never felt luckier than to find someone like Nishimura Riki. 

Despite spending most of your time training, you and Riki managed to squeeze in dates whenever you both had a free spot in your packed timetable. From going to the arcade, walking around busy shopping malls or relaxing picnics in the park, every single moment you could share with Riki was special. 

But then came the transition into seniors. 

Competing in seniors added more pressure for the two of you. You two forced yourselves to train more, reducing the little time that you two had to spend together to practically almost none. Even phone calls and text messages between you two were rare – and when Riki had spare time, you were busy, and vice versa. It was clear to your friends that you both did not have any time for your relationship anymore, and the best decision was probably to end it before one of you got hurt. 

Riki was scared. Scared of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to him — he didn’t want to lose you. He wanted you in his life. 

But after weeks after weeks of him bailing on you for training, and weeks after weeks of you bailing on him for training, you two know that at this point, there was no relationship between you two. It was like you two had already broken up for months. You two just had to have a conversation to make the split official.

And that conversation happened when Riki was entering the rink for training, and when you and Keiji were leaving it. You had stopped him for a few minutes, and it was like Riki already knew what was coming.

“We both know that we’re too busy and focused on skating to be together.” you said, and Riki agreed. You two had tried your best to make it work — but your dedication to skating was just more… important. You both understood that.

“Yeah. I agree. So… I guess this is it, isn’t it?” Riki bites the inside of his cheek. He knows this is right, but he can’t help but feel upset about it. You were his girlfriend for 2 years — and the relationship was really going to end with a conversation that took less than five minutes.

“I guess so… um… I’m really sorry.” you say, and Riki nods, giving you a small smile. “I get it. You get it too. We have other priorities.” 

You smile, nodding at him. “We’ll still be friends, hmm?”

“Are you joking? Of course.” 

“I’ll see you around.” you stand there looking at each other for a few seconds until you pull Riki into a hug — one that he knows shouldn’t feel awkward, but somehow it does.

Maybe because he knows that it’s a goodbye hug.

“Thanks. For… everything.”

“You too.” Riki says, when you two separate. “Uh… I gotta go. Coach is waiting for me.” he says, and you nod. “Of course. Have a nice practice.” you say with a smile, before turning around to catch up with Keiji.

With a conversation that lasts no less than 5 minutes, Nishimura Riki’s first and only relationship ends.

Riki is off focus for the entire training session, and even weeks after that. His jump landings are shaky, he falls more often, and even his coach mentions to him that she doesn’t feel like he’s fully… there. 

He can’t stop thinking about how he could’ve lost his one and only chance at love. 

He knows he’s young, and it’s a little dramatic to say — but who would fall in love with him when they know that he cares more about his sport? 

It was different, because you were a skater, so you understood how he felt and agreed with him. But he knows not many people are willing to make sacrifices — and he understands.

Love is complicated.

It is even more complicated for someone like Riki.

Ever since he was young, Riki had always wanted to fall in love. His parents are still happily together, seemingly falling more in love as each day goes by. His older sister has seemed to find “the one” too, and his younger sister’s crush seems to be liking her back, from what he’s heard from her (and also from how he’s seen the boy look at his little sister when Riki goes to pick her up from school.)

But for Riki, who is the unlucky one in the family, falling in love is harder than landing a quadruple axel.

And Riki can’t even land that jump without falling yet. He’s a quarter off on rotation, so he’s getting there — but for love? Oh, Riki is way more than a quarter off. 

Riki likens his love life to be a triple axel he’s going for, but then he pops it. A popped jump is a very good way to describe Riki’s love life. Going for it, realising it’s something that can’t be done without hurting himself (but in the case of love, hurting the other person), then backing away. 

So, Riki decides that he’ll put love on hold for the meantime. But, it doesn’t stop him from getting a little bit jealous when he sees all his friends in happy relationships. 

He wants someone who understands his dedication to the sport and encourages him too. 

And that someone is you.

But, he’s very clearly lost his chance now. Your breakup was mutual — there was no animosity about it, but neither of you had taken up the offer of staying as friends.

Riki waited for you to text, and you never did. Little did Riki know that you were also waiting for him to text… and he didn’t either.

You two didn’t really talk much after that. And you didn’t end up seeing him much either, unless it was very briefly at competitions, since half a year after your breakup, you and Keiji had moved to Canada to train. But, Riki did see how you and Keiji had gotten better and better after the coaching change,  and he was proud of you two for gaining such amazing scores and delivering such wonderful programs. 

You could say the same about Riki too — you watched his skating online, and every single skate of his seemed to be better than the last. 

Slowly but surely, you two got over each other. It wasn’t easy for you, and it wasn’t for Riki either. But you two did what you knew best to try and forget.

To skate.

The thought of love just completely slips from Riki’s mind after a few months. His whole world is skating now, and he’s quite okay with that. Love is put on pause, for Riki. And he doesn’t know if he’ll press play any time soon.

It’s just that love never seems to come at the right time for Riki. Love seems to be far away, out of reach, and something that Riki can only dream of experiencing. 

Love has no time for Riki, and he does not have time for love either.

TWO. 4 continents, 4 years

“That’s a flutz. Do it again, Riki.” 

Nagai Hikari, Riki’s figure skating coach, stands on the other side of the boards, eyes scrutinising Riki’s every move. Her eyes are narrowed into slits as her eyes lock in on the blades on Riki’s boots.

He takes off into a lutz, arms outstretched above his head to do a rippon. Hikari nods in satisfaction when she sees that Riki uses the correct edge on takeoff. “Better.” she says.

Riki has worked with Hikari for years — and she is not a woman who gives out too many compliments. Short and simple is the way she does it, but Riki knows that she cares. 

Such as when Riki won his first senior competition. Riki had never seen her so happy. She actually had a bright smile on her face — one that Riki had never seen before.

Riki holds his hand up to tell Hikari that he’ll be taking a short break, and she nods. Riki skates up to the boards, where he sees Taki and Yuma sitting down on the bench, taking off their off-ice shoes.

“Riki with the rippons,” Taki says in his best impression of a commentator’s voice when he notices Riki. “They might as well just rename it to like… Nishimuras.”

“I would be on board with that.” Yuma pipes up. 

“Stop,” Riki says. 

“It’s your thing, okay?” Taki says, skating onto the rink. “That’s why they call you Riki with the rippons. You have your thing, I have mine.”

Riki skates alongside Taki, Yuma catching up with the both of them when he’s done lacing up his own skates. The three had gotten assigned the 3 spots Japan had for 4 Continents, with all three of them doing pretty well at Nationals. Riki had gotten assigned a spot at the World Championships next month as well, making the boy extra busy. 

The short program was tomorrow, and Riki felt that he was quite confident in his ability to do well. If he landed all his jumps cleanly, Riki thinks that he has quite a good shot at leading in the short. 

“Are you nervous?” Riki asks Yuma, whilst Taki skates away from the group to practise his jumps. From the corner of his eye, Riki sees Taki land a quad loop. Surprisingly, the loop is Taki’s favourite jump – Riki’s is the salchow, which Taki absolutely despises doing. 

“Kinda. First Four Continents… I’m bound to be a little nervous.” Yuma chuckles, and Riki nods, patting the boy on his back in reassurance. “You’ll do great, don’t worry.” 

“Riki, run through your short program again.” The sharp voice of Hikari catches Riki’s attention, and the tall boy nods. “Duty calls.” Riki says to Yuma, who nods. 

The music to Riki’s short program plays, and as if it’s instinct, his arms move exactly the way they’re supposed to, his feet carrying him across the rink — there’s not a single thought in Riki’s mind. It’s all muscle memory now, considering the amount of times he’s done the program.

He’s got a quadruple lutz lined up first, and he steps out of the jump. Hikari presses her lips together as Riki makes a mental note to make sure to land the lutz well. He’s always been able to land this one cleanly in the free skate — but in the short program, the quad toeloop has not been his friend at all.

He takes off into a quadruple salchow-triple toeloop combination jump, landing it cleanly. He hears a few cheers from the audience, and the sound of camera shutters going off from the photographers there. 

Hikari gives him a satisfactory nod from behind the boards. 

The rest of Riki’s runthrough of his program is executed well enough to meet Hikari’s high standards. Soon enough, they’re all told to leave the rink since practice time is over, and the ice dancers will have to use the rink.

Riki puts his skate guards on, sitting down on the bench next to Taki. “Oh, and before I forget to ask you, do you wanna go to lunch with the rest of us? The whole 4CC team is going, with the exception of Sakura and Fuma, ‘cause they’re practising.” 

Riki shrugs, taking off his skates to change into his regular sports shoes. “Sure. Where are we going?” 

“Kazuha found this nice restaurant nearby the arena,” Yuma chimes in. He puts his skates into his bag, standing up to wait for the two other boys to finish putting their skates away. “Let’s leave our bags in the locker room and go. I think Kazuha, Mina and Yuta are already there.” 

“I’m going to get changed.” Riki says, getting up from the bench and heading towards the changing room. He’s sweating after practice, and he’d much rather go out in fresh clothes than wear what he’s got on now. Taki and Yuma follow him not long after, and Riki changes into a black hoodie and a pair of jeans, spraying some cologne on as well. 

He brushes his bangs out of his eyes as he takes his wallet and phone out of his bag, shoving them into his pockets. “You ready?” he asks Yuma and Taki, who have also changed. The two boys nod, and they all head out of the changing room.

“Where’s the restaurant again?” Taki asks Yuma, who’s got the location entered into the GPS on his phone. “A five minute walk from here.” Taki replies, and he walks in the direction of where the GPS tells him to go, and the two boys follow him. 

Soon enough, the three boys arrive at the restaurant, telling the front of house staff Kazuha’s name, since she was the one who booked. The staff member takes them to their table, and Riki greets everyone before sitting down next to Taki.

But, when he turns his head, he sees Keiji sitting just one seat away from him, with the one next to Riki being empty. 

“Hey, who joined us?” 

Riki knows exactly who that voice belongs to, and he turns his head slowly to meet eyes with you.

Everyone at the table immediately goes silent as you and Riki stare at each other for a few seconds, neither of you moving. Riki lets out a shaky breath as he looks at you — he hasn’t really seen you at all since the breakup.

“Hey.” You’re the first to speak.

Riki gulps. “Hey.” 

You awkwardly slide into your seat next to Riki, and he sees Yuta wiggling his eyebrows at him, and Riki makes a mental note to send him a text message with many middle finger emojis later.

You haven’t seen Riki in a long time. He’s grown taller, way taller than you last saw him, and he’s now got dyed blonde streaks in his dark hair. It looks good on him — he looks good. As Riki talks to the others, you can’t help but stare at him. There’s a couple silver necklaces he’s wearing around his neck, and you’re sitting close enough to him to realise that he’s still wearing the cologne that you had recommended to him years ago. 

“So…” Kazuha starts. “How’s Bisco?” 

Riki’s eyes light up at the mention of his dog, and Hitomi notices that there’s a fond smile on your lips when you hear him talk about Bisco. After all, you did frequent Riki’s house when you two were together, and had formed a close bond with Bisco. 

Riki never told you (and doesn’t plan on telling you) but after your breakup, Bisco would often sit by the door, waiting to see if you’d show up. 

And you never did. 

“Good,” Riki says. “I’ll go back home to see him after the competition. I try to go back as much as I can since it’s only a 4 hour train ride from Nagoya to Okayama, but — training kinda steals most of the time I have.” 

“Oh, so you found out Bisco’s gender now?” you ask, absentmindedly — you don’t realise the words slip past your lips until Riki replies. “Uh, yeah. Konon told me, actually.” he chuckles awkwardly.

The tension between you and Riki is so thick that you could cut it with a knife. You didn’t think that seeing him would be this awkward, since you two had ended things amicably — but now that you’re seeing him for the first time after the breakup, you really don’t know what to say to him.

“Awks.” Taki whispers into Riki’s ear, and Riki rolls his eyes, nudging him on the arm. “Ow,” Taki says dramatically, clutching the spot where Riki had elbowed him. “That really hurt.” 

“Sure it did.” 

The lunch goes well for the most part, with Mina catching you and Riki sneaking glances at each other when one of you isn’t looking. There’s a sneaky grin on her lips as she watches the scene play out before her. You’re awkwardly taking a sip of your tea, whilst Riki is trying to do everything in his power to stop himself from trying to steal another glance at you. “They should talk.” Mina whispers into Kazuha’s ear.

“Keiji, practice is in an hour.” you tell your partner, and he checks the time. “Shit, right. Um, guys, we’ll have to leave soon for the official practice.” Keiji announces to the group, and Yuma nods.

“Let’s just all leave, then. We’re all done with eating.” Yuma says, and Riki nods. The boy stands up, looking at the time on his phone as you catch a glimpse of his lockscreen, and it’s of Bisco having Riki’s Worlds gold medal hung around his neck.

A smile spreads across your lips as you catch sight of the photo. “That’s cute.” 

Once again, the words slip out before you realise you say them. “Sorry. Caught sight of your lock screen.” you say, and Riki shrugs.

“It’s alright.” he says, and you two just stand there awkwardly, looking at each other — you both don’t even realise that everyone’s gone to the cashier to pay (even if they all did it purposely just to get you two to talk in private.) 

“So… how have you been?” you ask, attempting to start a conversation. “I’m good. Just training a lot… you know how I am,” Riki says, and you nod. “How about you? How’s Canada?” 

“Oh, it’s nice there. Really cold in the winter.” you say. “Colder than Japan?” he asks, and you nod. “Sometimes. Oh, and I forgot to say — congrats on gold at Worlds last year. You did really great.”

Riki smiles at you. It’s a smile that you didn’t know you missed until you saw it again. “Thanks. I saw you there, I think — just didn’t get a chance to say hi. I’ve seen you at many competitions, briefly, actually. Just… the opportunity never came up.” 

“Yeah. I saw you too. I was in the bleachers, actually. Umm… yeah, you did really great. You’ve come so far. Super proud of you.” you say, offering him a smile. “We haven’t talked in so long. How long has it been?” 

“4 years, I think.” Riki replies.

“Right. 4 years… 4 Continents.” you quip, and Riki tilts his head, looking at you with an amused smile.

“Good one.” 

You know it wasn’t really a good one. More of a lame joke, compared to the ones that you had told him before when you two were dating. 

“Thanks.” you say, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket. “We should probably… go. They’re all gone.” you say, and Riki nods. 

“Right. Yeah. Don't leave anything behind.” he says, not forgetting about your terrible habit of losing things often. He’ll never forget the day when you nearly forgot your skate bag in the bus that you two were riding on to get to the rink — thank god he was there to remind you to pick it up.

“Yeah. I won’t.” you say, checking the table once more. Riki remembering that about you makes you feel a little bit happy, somehow. To you, it shows that he didn’t really forget about you, despite not having seen or talked to you for 4 years.

You follow Riki as you two both make your way towards the cashier, Taki looking at Riki expectantly. “So… did you guys kiss?” 

“What the fuck?” Riki asks his friend. “You think I’m going to see my ex girlfriend after 4 years and after maybe a… 5 minute conversation, we’re going to kiss?” 

“You’re unpredictable. And you two also broke up in less than 5 minutes, so… yeah. Maybe.” 

“You’re insane, Taki.” 

“Are you guys going to go back to the hotel?” Sakura asks Riki, Yuma and Taki. The men’s single skating practices were officially done for the day — meaning Riki could just go back to his hotel room, flop onto the bed and sleep.

“Uh… yeah. Probably.” Yuma says. “Do you guys have any plans?” 

“I’m going to watch the pairs practice.” Kazuha pipes up. “You guys are more than welcome to tag along so we can watch (Name), Keiji, Mina and Yuta if you’d like.” 

“Might go take a shower before I come join you.” Taki says, and Yuma nods in agreement. “Yeah. And I’m sure Riki would love to tag along as well.” he says, and Riki knows that Yuma’s just enunciating the word ‘love’ to piss him off.

“Yeah, I’ll come.” he says. 

“Nice,” Keiji says. “See you later.”

The group splits up, with Riki, Taki and Yuma walking back to the hotel, and Hitomi, Kazuha, Mina, Yuta, Keiji and you heading to the arena. But before Riki gets far away enough, you call out his name.

“Hey, Riki?” 

The boy turns his head to look at you.

“It was nice seeing you again.” 

You leave before he can respond.

THREE. 3LzTh

Riki heads to the arena with his hair still damp.

Not the best idea in cold weather, but he makes do. He shoves his wallet into the pockets of his jeans, Taki trailing behind him.

“How was seeing (Name) again?” Taki asks, a smirk on his lips. “I know you’re trying to piss me off, and it won’t work. She’s just a teammate now.” Riki says, shrugging.

Huh. Riki doesn’t realise that you are just a teammate now until he says those words out loud. Over the years, he’s always thought of you as something more — you mean (or rather, meant) a lot to him. 

But he hasn’t talked to you in 4 years, and a lot can change in 4 years. You two might as well be strangers with a lot of history. “Ouch. Not even friends?” Taki asks.

“Things are a lot different compared to when we were 17,” Riki says. “Plus, I’ve only had one conversation with her since the breakup. Let’s take things slow, okay?” 

“Just saying, I think you two might end up falling in love again.” 

“You’re being ridiculous. Based on what? A 5 minute conversation?” 

“Based on how I feel like you’ve never really been over her. Let's face the facts here, Riki. You haven’t even tried to find someone else after your relationship with (Name). Not even a single thought about being in a relationship with anyone else has crossed your mind.” 

“Because I’m focusing on skating.” Riki replies.

“Or are you using that as a lame excuse because you know deep inside the only one who will ever be able to have your heart is (Name)?”

Riki blocks out what Taki says. He’s done with having the older boy meddle in his dating life, even if it is what got you and him together. Riki is over you. He is sure of it.

He enters the arena, sitting down next to Kazuha. “So…”

“Is this conversation going to be about (Name)?” he asks, and Kazuha shakes her head rapidly. “No, no, no.” she replies, but Riki knows that the girl is lying. 

“Then what is it about?” he asks, and Kazuha doesn’t say anything.

“Uh… I forgot. Slipped my mind!” she says quickly, before reverting her focus back onto the ice. Riki sees you and Keiji prepare to do a throw jump, and he doesn’t know why Riki feels this sudden sense of dread.

It’s the same kind of dread he felt every single time when he watched you and Keiji practice in the rink when you two were together, and whenever Riki felt that terrible emotion, you would fall.

And Riki is right. You’re barely a quarter of a rotation off, and you find yourself landing harshly on the ice. On instinct, Riki stands up abruptly from his seat, his eyes wide with worry. He doesn’t notice how Taki and Kazuha share a knowing smile.

“She’ll be okay, Riki.” Kazuha tells him. Riki looks at you on the ice, still not having gotten up. He squints to try and examine your expression to see if it is one of pain — and it is then when Riki realises he can’t read you like he used to anymore.

Things have changed too much for Riki’s liking.

But this is what happens when people break up. He accepted this fact so long ago, but why has it all changed suddenly when he sees you again?

You no longer make his heart skip a beat whenever he sees you. Surely, that is the telltale sign that he is over you by now. 

He sits back down with an inscrutable expression. Of course it is normal to care for you when he sees that you might be injured, is it not? But this feeling seems to be a little bit more than that — something that Riki cannot find an explanation for at this point in time. 

Perhaps he should just let that thought go and watch the practice. “Don’t be worried. (Name) is strong.” Taki says.

It’s exactly the same thing he told Riki 5 years ago when he saw you and Keiji practising a triple lutz throw. Riki remembers being so scared that Keiji would throw you across the ice so carelessly — but he knows that you trust Keiji. 

So in turn, he supposes that he should trust Keiji.

He watches as you and Keiji do a side by side triple loop, Riki holding his breath for the entirety of the time he sees you in the air. When you land the jump cleanly, he lets out a sigh of relief.

Riki realises that the last time he saw you skate in person was just before you two broke up. He didn’t watch your performances even when you two were at the same competitions, because he was too busy preparing for his own performances.

It’s funny, how he could’ve seen you so many times after the breakup — but there is some sort of force separating you from each other, and only bringing you two back together again now. 

Taki claims that your relationship with Riki was a right person, wrong time situation. And in some ways, Riki agrees. He does know that you are the right person for him, but he doesn’t think he is the right person for you.

He watches you practice silently, thoughts of his previous relationship with you running rampant in his mind. He is over you, he reminds himself. That heart-stopping feeling he always got whenever you smiled at him, the butterflies in his stomach, and the instantaneous smile that spread across his lips at the sight of you are now all gone. Riki is just reminiscing over the happy memories he had with you, there’s nothing wrong with that. 

And reminiscing over happy memories doesn’t sound like being in love at all, Riki thinks. Jokes on you, Taki. 

When the official practice is over, he heads to the vending machine, wanting to buy himself some coffee. When he gets there, he sees you, standing there as well, seemingly fishing through your wallet for coins.

“Hey,” he says, and you look up, a smile gracing your lips when you realise who it is. “Hey. You came.” you breathe out. 

“I did,” Riki says, rubbing the nape of his neck. “You guys did great. Did the fall hurt?” he asks, remembering the hard fall you had on the triple lutz throw. You shrug, chuckling. “Nothing I’m not used to.” 

“Mmm. Make sure to ice it when you get back to the hotel.” he says, pressing the buttons on the vending machine, then slotting in the coins. He takes the coffee out of the slot, handing it to you. 

He still remembers which one you like. 

“Take it.”

“Riki, it’s okay — I can just pay for my own.” you say, shaking your head. Your words only prompt the boy to hold the drink out closer to you, and you take it in your hands. “You sure?” 

“I wouldn’t give it to you if I wasn’t, (Name).” he says, running his fingers through his hair. He presses another button on the vending machine, paying for his own drink then taking it out of the slot. 

“I owe you one,” you say, and Riki shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything. Just think of it as a gift.” 

“A coffee from a vending machine as a gift?” you ask, laughing. “I’ll treat you to coffee when we’re back in Japan.” 

Riki tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. “You and Keiji aren’t going back to Canada? Worlds is soon.” 

“Worlds is in Saitama this year. Figured it’d be easier, and Hikari’s letting us train at your rink for a bit until Worlds is over.” you say.

So Riki will have plenty of chances to see you again.

“Oh, that’s really nice. Let’s try and find a time where we can both make it.” 

The last sentence Riki says seems like a little bit of an insult — when he didn’t mean it in that way at all. He hopes he didn’t sound like he was blaming you for the breakup. It was a poor choice of words, given the situation that you two had been through.

“I didn’t mean it like that, by the way. I just meant in general, we should both be free for a… longer period of time when we go to the coffee shop.” Riki hurriedly tries to explain, and you shake your head, chuckling.

“Relax, I didn’t take it like that. Plus, we both know that the timing just wasn’t right.” you say, and Riki nods. “Yeah. We both know that.” he gulps.

“Right.”

The atmosphere suddenly feels very tense.

“I better uh… get going.” you say, awkwardly smiling at him. “Thank you for the coffee, Riki. Let’s talk more later?”

“Sure, of course. Um… you have my number.” 

“Yeah. Unless you’ve changed it, or something.” you say, and Riki shakes his head. “Just the same. Yours?” 

“Uh… same. It’s LINE, so… didn’t have to change much when I moved to Canada.” you say, and Riki nods. “Right, right. Um… I’ll see you.” he says, giving you a wave goodbye, before you two awkwardly part ways.

You turn your head to look back to see if he’s also looking back. He’s not, so you just turn back around.

As if you two are fated to just have the wrong timing, Riki looks back the exact moment you turn your head back around.

FOUR. zamboni 

Today is the day of the men’s short program.

Riki doesn’t feel his best today. Something just feels off — maybe it’s because he went out with damp hair in cold weather and he’s catching a cold, but he certainly hopes that’s not the case.

He chugs some water before he goes to line up, preparing for the 6 minute warmup, unaware that you and Keiji are seated in the bleachers as spectators. You’re dressed in a black puffer jacket that you’ve had since you were 15 – really, you’re still not quite sure how you’re still able to fit in it, but it’s comfortable and keeps you warm. Keiji looks over at you, noticing your eyes scanning the arena for any sight of Riki. 

“Are you looking for someone?” Keiji asks, and you cross your arms, frowning. “No,” you mumble, biting on the inside of your cheek. 

Of course, Keiji doesn’t believe you. He likes to think that he knows you better than most people, considering how you two have been paired together for nearly 10 years. 

“You can’t lie to me, (Name).” Keiji chuckles, and you avert your gaze from him. “You can be honest with me, you know? I mean… we live together, I throw you up into the air every single day and catch you while skating on frozen water — that at least shows that you trust me with your life, which in turn, means that you can trust me with whatever feelings you have toward your ex boyfriend, who also happens to be my friend from primary school.”

“I forgot you and Riki went to the same primary school,” you say, burying your face in your hands. “And I don’t have any… feelings towards him.” 

“So you’re saying when you see Riki, your mind goes blank? Not a single thought inside of that brain of yours?” 

“No, you idiot. But like… I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

Seeing Riki after 4 years has made some feelings that you had made yourself forget about long ago resurface, and now that they’re all out in the open, you don’t know what to do with them. It’s not like you’re still in love with Riki, but seeing him again makes you think of all the times when you were in love with him.

Moments like showing up late to practice due to staying a little too long at the arcade with more plushies in your arms than the amount that people throw onto the rink when you skate. Or moments like getting scolded by your coaches, who tell you that being late is not acceptable, and smiling at each other secretly, trying not to laugh while they tell you off. Moments like running to hug each other after getting your scores at the Kiss and Cry, both holding each other so tight you both feel like suffocating. 

Some part of you feels like you miss those moments.

But looking at the ice, you realise that you don’t think you can have those moments anymore. They are just memories now, memories that you hold near and dear to your heart.

Because even whilst Riki is in the arena, he’s never felt further away. 

Things with Riki are awkward. It’s not like he’s unwilling to become close with you again, and it’s not like you are either — but there’s just so much history between you two, things just can’t be smoothed over this easily, unlike the zambonis on the rink that smooth over the ice.

“Things are just complicated, Keiji,” you sigh, pursing your lips. “As much as I’d like things to be back to the way they were, we’ve both changed too much over the years.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Keiji’s eyes widen in surprise, as you look at him confused. “Back to the way things were? Like… when you two were dating? Kissing? Showing so much PDA I nearly threw up on the rink?” 

“No!” you say quickly, and Keiji notices the defensiveness in your voice. “Just… when we were friends. When things weren’t awkward between Riki and I. I’ll figure everything out, okay? I just don’t know when.” 

“Huh.” Keiji furrows his eyebrows. “I think you’ll figure things out sooner than you think.” 

“Why’d you say that?” 

“No reason.” Keiji struggles to hide the smile on his lips.

“Please welcome the next group of skaters to the ice.” the commentator says, and when Riki skates out onto the ice, you immediately spot him.

But that’s not just because of your shared history together — Riki stands at 6’0, towering over all the other skaters. It’s pretty impossible to not spot him. Keiji carefully examines your expression as your eyes follow Riki’s figure as he skates across the ice.

Riki’s skating second in his group, and you watch as he takes off into a triple axel. The landing is a little shaky, and you notice him coughing slightly after he lands the jump. 

“Is Riki sick?” you ask Keiji, who shrugs. “Not sure. Why’d you ask?” 

“He’s coughing.” 

“Could have choked on air. I do that all the time.” 

Soon enough, the 6 minute warmup is over, and Riki leaves the rink. “Are you worried about him or something?” Keiji asks, and you bite the inside of your cheek.

The music for the first skater in the group starts. “If he’s sick, it’ll be hard for him to compete.” you mumble. 

The first skater lands a triple axel, the crowd clapping as you and Keiji join in as well. “Riki’s strong. He can take care of himself.” Keiji says.

“I know.” you say, and then you wince when the skater falls pretty hard on a quadruple flip. “Ouch.”

The skater’s program goes relatively well for the most part, except for the hard fall on the flip. You tap your foot rhythmically on the floor, nervously waiting for Riki to skate onto the rink.

That skater is placed 8th after the short program, it’s announced. Then, Riki skates onto the ice. 

There’s a strange twinge in your heart when you see Riki skate out onto the ice. His costume is gorgeous — the shirt is flowy, with sequin details on it. He brushes his bangs out of his eyes before skating to the centre of the rink, getting into his starting position.

“Try not to fall in love.” Keiji whispers in your ear.

You glare at him, elbowing him. “Shut up.”

The music starts, Riki skating across the rink elegantly. You just realised that you haven’t seen Riki skate in person in 4 years, since you never really got the chance to watch him skate even when you two were at the same competition.

The timing was never right. It never seems to be when it comes to you and Riki.

And at that thought, Riki takes off into the quadruple lutz, and he steps out of the jump. You see the disappointment in his face as he continues skating, and you frown.

“You’ve got this,” you mumble. Stepping out is better than a fall, at least — but you can tell something is stopping Riki from skating at his best. He doesn’t seem to be in the best condition today.

Then, he takes off into the triple axel. He lands it, and you clap loudly — Keiji looks at you, amused, but you’re too focused on Riki to care. 

Riki’s spins are always gorgeous. They always have been. It takes you back to the times when you two would practise on the same rink, you watching Riki spin from behind the boards, completely mesmerised.

The last jumping pass is a quadruple salchow-triple toeloop, and Riki barely hangs onto the toeloop. You’re glad that he didn’t fall, and all the jumps are done now — so now all he has to do is skate the rest of the elements well.

Riki has always delivered in terms of artistry and expression. Today is obviously no exception, despite him being a little off today.

When he finishes his program, the crowd cheers, and you and Keiji clap loudly. “Let’s go, Riki!” Keiji says, even though he knows that Riki can’t hear him. Riki bows to the audience, picking up a couple of stuffed toys that some audience members had thrown to him.

“He did good.” you say, and Keiji nods.

“I think that’ll put him in 1st for now. The step out and barely hanging on for the toe loop will cost him, but… there’s 4 more to go, so.” Keiji replies, and you press your lips together in a thin line as you wait for Riki’s score to be called out.

Seated in the Kiss and Cry, Riki sighs. He’s not happy with his performance today. He thinks he’s getting sick, and that definitely affected his performance. “You seem off today.” Hikari tells him.

“Think I’m catching a cold.” he replies, and his coach looks at him with concern. “Go back to the hotel immediately after. Take some Vitamin C supplements, then go get some sleep. I’ll get someone to take some medicine to your room.” 

“Thanks, Hikari.” Riki says, a grateful smile gracing his lips. The woman just nods, and Riki turns to grab one of the plushies that he had placed next to him on the bench.

Like Keiji predicted, Riki does go into the lead after that skate. But he knows it won’t last for long after the next 4 skates if they all skate clean. Riki knows that he’ll just have to make it up in the free program, but first, he’s got to focus on getting rid of this cold before it can properly hit him.

Riki leaves the Kiss and Cry, going to the locker room to get changed.

He’s unaware about Hikari messaging Keiji about getting some medicine for Riki, and as Keiji replies back, a small smirk makes its way onto his lips. When he sends the message back, Keiji turns to look at you. 

“Hikari wants you to help her do something.” 

FIVE. rushed entries

You find yourself with a shopping bag, being told to head up to Riki’s hotel room. He’s sick, Keiji tells you. 

Exactly like you thought.

You buy more than you think he needs. There’s 2 packs of lozenges, a few cans of the corn soup that you remember that he likes, some instant noodles, a few boxes of tissues and some cold medicine. You also put in a warm blanket that you had brought with you from Canada — you figure that he needs it more than you do.

You knock on the door, and you hear Riki’s footsteps approach. He swings open the door, and he looks tired. His nose is a little bit red, probably from blowing his nose.

“(Name)?” he asks, surprised that you’re here. His voice is a little croaky, and you frown.

“Hikari says you’re sick,”  you mumble. “I came by to give this to you.” 

“Oh,” Riki says. “Thank you.” 

“Um… you did well today.” you say. It’s still awkward between you and Riki, and you’re trying to fill the terrible silence with some sort of conversation. “Nice triple axel.” 

“Thanks,” he chuckles, but then he covers his mouth with his hand to cough. “Sorry. I think I’ve got a cold.”

“It’s okay. Um…” you don’t know whether you should stay or leave.

You and Riki stand there, looking at each other awkwardly. Riki thinks he should ask you to come in — but he’s sick, and your free skate is tomorrow. He can’t get you sick. 

But you’re also looking expectantly at him, as if you want to come in. Riki can’t read you anymore, so he figures that maybe he should just take a leap of faith and ask.

“Do you wanna… come in?” 

It takes you a few seconds to register what Riki had just asked you. “Oh! Um, yeah. Of course.” 

“You don’t have to. I’m sick, and you’ve got a performance tomorrow.” he says, shrugging. You shake your head. “No, no. I want to.”

Riki opens the door a little wider for you to enter, and you walk inside his hotel room. The boy closes the door, setting the bag that you had brought him on the table. He takes the boxes of tissues out, and then he takes out a can of the soup that you had brought him.

“You remembered.” he says, turning around with a small smile on his lips. 

“Yeah.” you breathe out, sitting down on the couch. “I remember we’d always go get that from the vending machine in winter. Warmed us up after practice.”

Riki nods. “Yeah. Thank you, by the way. This is really sweet of you.” 

“It’s no problem,” you say. You get up from the couch, helping him take out some of the stuff in the bag. You place the box of tissues on his bedside counter, and you place the blanket on the edge of the bed. “I brought this blanket if you need it. It’s kinda cold, so.” 

“Thanks,” Riki replies. He opens the can of soup, bringing it to his lips. The soup warms him up immediately, but also brings him back to the exact memory that you’d talked about a few minutes ago. You two would head to the vending machine, buying this small can of corn soup. It warms his heart that you still remember. “Still as good as it was before.” 

“I’m glad.” you reply, and Riki takes the cold medicine before he heads over to his bed, draping the blanket over himself. You sit on the couch awkwardly, just looking at Riki.

“You wanna watch a movie?” he asks.

“Sure.”

“Come here,” he pats the empty spot on the bed next to him. “Or you don’t have to. It’s just… the TV isn’t exactly visible from the couch.” 

“lt’s okay. I’ll come.” you say, and you walk towards Riki’s bed, climbing in next to him. You haven’t been this close with him since you two were together. It’s foreign yet familiar, and that confuses you. 

“What’d you wanna watch?” he asks. You turn your head to look at him, and you realise that he’s much closer to you than you actually thought he was.

“Um…” you say, flustered. “You pick.” 

“Your Name?” Riki suggests. “We always liked to watch that when we… um… yeah.” 

Your Name was yours and Riki’s movie. Every single time you two had a movie night, you two would watch Your Name, huddled up on Riki’s couch, and Bisco would watch it with you both too. You’d think that after watching a movie so many times you’d get tired of it, but Your Name never got old for you and Riki.

It brings back a lot of memories. “Yeah. Let’s do it.” 

Riki presses play. Gosh, he doesn’t know why he suggested Your Name. To be fair, it was the movie that you two always watched when you two were together — but bringing back old memories would make things awkward, and when Riki wants to become friends with you again, the worst thing to do is to bring back old memories.

But he can’t help it. You’re a familiar stranger to him now, and he doesn’t know what to do in situations like these. You’re so close, yet so far — Riki knows you, but he knows the you from 4 years ago. Who knows how much you’ve changed? Riki certainly doesn’t. 

“Hah, his name’s Taki.” you pipe up, thinking of your friend Taki.

“I’ve never thought about it like that.” Riki chuckles. “Hopefully Taki meets his Mitsuha. Gosh, maybe then he’ll be less interested in my love life since he’s got his own.” 

You laugh. Taki was the whole reason why you and Riki were able to confess your feelings to each other, so you do suppose that you should thank him.

You and Riki mostly watch the movie in silence. There’s occasional commentary from both of you, but you two are focused on the movie. It’s how it’s always been. You and Riki didn’t really like talking much when watching a movie — when you two were dating, he would just have his arms wrapped around you. He’d play with your hands, sometimes drawing little doodles on the inside of your palm with his finger.

The one part that has always gotten you and Riki emotional is when Taki writes ‘I love you’ instead of his own name. You remember both bawling your eyes out the first time you had watched the movie, finishing a whole box’s worth of tissues due to that one part.

“I’m going to cry,” you say. “We’ve watched this so many times, and I’ve never been able to control my emotions when it comes to this scene.”

“Don’t cry,” Riki says, looking at you. On instinct, he takes a hold of your hand to comfort you, and your eyes widen slightly. Fucking hell, Riki doesn’t know why he just did that. 

But you’re now looking at him with an unreadable expression. You’ve never been this close to Riki ever since your breakup — your faces are mere inches apart. If you just leaned in a little… you shake your head in an attempt to rid yourself of the thought, but it stays ingrained into your mind. He lets go of your hand, and you don’t know if it’s the music in the background, the memories that the movie reminds you of, or what — but you feel the urge to just pull Riki close and kiss him.

Maybe your feelings aren’t completely gone. 

Your eyes flicker to his lips, and Riki notices the look – it’s not very subtle at all. The boy doesn’t know what’s going to happen after this. Seeing you after 4 years has gone from awkward, to even more awkward, and now this. He doesn’t exactly know what this is, but he knows that something is going to change the entire trajectory of your relationship from here on out.

Riki is so beautiful. He’s always been beautiful. 

“You got rid of your moles.” you hum.

“Yeah. I did.” he gulps. 

“They were pretty.” you whisper.

You’re just saying whatever your mind’s thinking now. Nishimura Riki does tend to have that effect on you – blurting out whatever thought your mind has when it comes to him. 

Riki’s cheeks flush a bright pink as you continue to admire his features. Riki is sick, and his main priority is getting better before tomorrow — but with the way that you’re looking at him right now, that priority has flown straight out the window.

Riki glances at the lanyard around your neck. It’s the one with your athlete details on it, telling everyone that you’re competing at 4 Continents. He supposes that you didn’t take it off before going to buy all that stuff for him. Then his eyes glance to your lips, and you know that Riki’s not trying to make it subtle.

You nod at him.

So he pulls you in by your lanyard, connecting your lips with his. It’s a terrible idea, in hindsight — considering he’s sick, and you’ve got a competition tomorrow, but neither of you seem to care. You can taste the minty flavour of the lozenge in Riki’s mouth from his lips, and his hand moves to cup your cheek.

It’s only when you’re kissing him do you realise how much you’ve missed Riki. Riki kisses you with such longing, and it makes you think that he’s missed you too. When you two pull apart for air, all you can do is look at him with an expression that Riki once again can't read. He simply stares at you, not knowing what to say. He doesn’t know if there is anything to say. 

You don’t know if you want to say anything. You just want to kiss him again.

So you do.

You connect your lips with his once more, wrapping your arms around his neck. The movie is completely neglected now, the characters speaking just providing some background noise. 

Riki was right. Something has changed the trajectory of your relationship completely — and it was a kiss. He’s very well aware that you two aren’t dating, and you two only saw each other again after 4 years three days ago. He should pull away, because he doesn’t know what this all is supposed to mean, but as your lips are on his, he realises that he doesn’t think he really cares.

Funnily enough, Riki doesn’t even think that he’s sick anymore.

SIX. 3A (fall, ur)

You wake up next to Riki.

You guess that you were just too tired to have returned to your own room last night. Riki looks so peaceful next to you, sleeping with a blanket draped over his body.

As you try to get up, Riki stirs, peeking one eye open. You just remembered that Riki was a light sleeper. “Hey…” you say, and he blinks to adjust to the light. 

“Oh, morning.” 

“Do you feel better?” you ask him, and he nods. “Cold medicine was good. So was the soup. And… oh.” 

It seems like he just remembered the kiss. Or rather, kisses. It was a spur of the moment thing, and it’s not something that Riki regrets at all, but now it leaves a whole awkward conversation to be had with you about what it means for you and him now.

“So… about that. You know… kiss.” you awkwardly say. 

“Yeah.”

“It was a… spur of the moment thing. We got caught up in our feelings.” you say, and Riki nods. “Yeah. That’s exactly what happened. I couldn’t have said it better.” he chokes out.

He’s over you.

You’re over him.

You’ll blame Your Name for making you think of all those memories of you and Riki when you two were a couple. That’s what led you two to end up kissing. You know that Riki will blame the movie too. It’s not that you two have any feelings left for each other – it’s been four years! Four years is definitely enough for both of you to move on. 

“Did it mean anything?’ Riki asks. 

“No,” you gulp. “Nothing at all.” 

“Great. Glad we’re on the same page.” Riki grabs ahold of the water bottle placed on his bedside table. You nod at his words, eyes darting around to look at anywhere else but him. “Yeah.  Let’s just… forget about this, okay? We’ll just put this all behind, it never happened, and… we’ll just be friends. We’re friends, right?”

“Yeah. Of course, we’re friends.” Riki breathes out shakily, and you give him a small, awkward smile. You and Riki are friends. You guys can go back to the way things were – before the relationship, and before that… kiss last night, provided that you both don’t continue to think about past memories. 

“Let’s start over?” 

“Yeah.” Riki replies. “Let’s start over.” 

It’s fine. You’ll just forget about the kiss – it’s not going to be that hard to forget, right? You and Riki kissed when you two were together, it’s not like it’s any different. Except that it was 4 years after your breakup, and also a spur of the moment thing. You should stop thinking about it before it completely consumes your mind and knocks you off focus before your competition, so… you just lock that memory in a little box in your brain and throw away the key.

“Oh! My competition.” you say, suddenly being reminded. You have official practice in around an hour, leaving you with extremely limited time to get dressed. “You should go. Um… thank you for all the stuff, by the way.” Riki says, and you nod. 

“No problem! I’ll see you later?” you ask, heading towards the door. 

“Yeah!” Riki calls out after you, and you give him a quick wave before leaving the room. 

Another five minute conversation leaves your dynamic with Riki changed once more. It seems like five minutes is the perfect amount of time for you both to make drastic, huge changes in terms of your relationship. 

But Riki is so incredibly fucked. 

Because one, he doesn’t think he can just forget what happened last night so easily. His worst trait is that he dwells on things a little too much – and oh, boy, Riki is going to dwell on this a lot. He’s never going to tell you this because you seem to feel regret about the whole kiss, but some words that he said in that 5 minute conversation he had with you are words that he doesn’t think he really means. 

Yes, it was a spur of the moment thing. Yes, Riki got caught up in his feelings. But, that kiss did mean something to Riki. Taki was right. Riki’s not over you yet, and the fact that he realises this after only 3 days of seeing you again worries him a little. 

Because how long has he been suppressing these feelings for? Or how long has he been neglecting how he feels, too busy focused on skating to even pay attention to the fact that he’s missed you? These feelings arising once more so quickly and so suddenly makes Riki scared. 

Scared because Riki knows that you don’t feel the same way. You’re so quick to tell him that it meant nothing to you, so quick to leave, even if you did have a reason. So quick to tell him that you’d like to start over, and so quick to be able to get over him when his mind’s stuck on you. 

Riki’s falling. And it’s not one of those falls where he thinks he can get up really fast from, like an underrotated triple axel that leads him to falling right on his ass.

He hurriedly runs to unplug his phone from the charging port, pressing on the call button on his cousin Rei’s contact. She picks up, incredibly quickly – no surprise there, since Rei’s eyes are always glued to her phone whenever he sees her. 

“I’m so fucked, Rei.” 

“I saw the tweets. Why didn’t you tell me you and your ex started talking again?” she says, and Riki furrows his eyebrows at her words. “What? How’d you know?”

“You really think none of your fans would take photos of you two talking at the vending machine inside the arena?” Rei chuckles. Riki sighs – Rei’s right. Rei was the one Riki always went to when he needed to ask for relationship advice, instead of Taki, who’s answer was always these two words: just kiss. 

“So what problem do you have now? Did you guys kiss, and then one of you regretted it or something?”

Rei must be a psychic. 

Riki’s silence gives Rei the answer she’s looking for, and Riki just hears her slam her hand on the table. “No fucking way, you guys kissed? Who, when, what, where, why, how?” she yells into the phone, and Riki brings his phone away from his ear due to how loud the girl’s voice is. 

“Quiet down, will you?” he says, frowning. “Yes, we… kissed. And she said that it didn’t mean anything, and that it was just a spur of the moment thing where we got caught up in our feelings.” 

“Then what did you say back?”

“I agreed?”

“Did you mean it when you agreed?”

“No?”

“You fucking idiot!” Rei yells, and Riki notices that he hasn’t even put her on speaker, but his ears already hurt from how loud she is. “Why didn’t you tell her that it meant something to you?” 

“Because it’s weird! I see her for the first time in 4 years after our breakup, then I kiss her 3 days later and I’m supposed to tell her how I feel when I don’t even know what I feel?” 

“Yes!” Rei replies, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “Riki, everyone in the world could tell that you were never really over her. You just used skating to distract yourself, but the way you two ended things was bound to leave some sort of lingering feelings. For fuck’s sake, your breakup took less than 5 minutes. I’m sure that there were words that you meant to say and words that she meant to say.” 

“So what do I do now?” Riki asks, anxiously biting his bottom lip. 

“You’re the one who knows her. What do you think you should do?”

Riki doesn’t know, but he doesn’t plan on involving another kiss anytime soon, despite how much he wants it to happen again. 

SEVEN. figure it out

Keiji surprises you at the door of your hotel room.

“Seems like you spent the night somewhere.” he says, a sly smile on his lips. “Maybe a 6’0 male singles skater who you have some history with?” 

“Shut up, Keiji.” you swipe your key card to unlock the door. “I just went to his room to pick up the jacket I left behind last night.” you lie, and Keiji raises an eyebrow.

You know he probably doesn’t believe you, but he also doesn’t pry further. 

“How is he?” Keiji asks, and you shrug. “Seems to be doing fine. Bought him some soup, he took some medicine, we watched a little bit of a movie, then I left.” You obviously leave out the part where you two had kissed, because god forbid if Keiji found out, he’d tell everyone.

Then, it would make everything between you and Riki awkward again. But after your little conversation with him this morning, you think that maybe you and Riki can get past that initial awkward stage.

You just have to get rid of the thought of that kiss from your mind.

“Did he cough much this morning when you saw him? Or sniffle?” 

“No, he seems to be alright.” you reply, taking a new change of training clothes from your suitcase and heading to the bathroom, locking the door. “What movie did you guys watch?” Keiji asks.

“Your Name,” you say, without giving much thought to it.

“Are you kidding me?” Keiji asks, in disbelief. “Your Name is literally yours and Riki’s movie. I can’t even watch it without thinking of you two. Are you sure nothing happened?” 

Keiji knows you a little too well. You suppose that’s what happens when you’re pairs partners for nearly 10 years but gosh, sometimes you wish that he didn’t know you this well so you could get away with lying to him sometimes. 

“I’m sure, Keiji,” you say, pulling your shirt over your head. You turn to look in the mirror, fixing your hair into a neat ponytail before unlocking the door and leaving the room. “Look, Riki and I are just friends now, okay? We talked last night and we’ll put everything behind us.” 

“Everything? How are you supposed to forget hundreds of makeout sessions? A shit ton of hugs? Date nights that involved you two watching the same movie over and over again?” 

Terrific. Keiji’s words bring you back to last night. And to be fair, he is somewhat correct — how are you supposed to forget? But you’ll find a way, right? It’s not like the thought of Riki has consumed your mind for the past 4 years when you two have been separated. 

You’ll see him more often now that you and Keiji will be training in Nagoya for a bit, so you figure that it’ll be best to just pretend nothing ever happened to ease the tension between you two.

“Riki and I were friends first before we dated. I can handle this, Keiji.” you say, and you grab your skate bag. “Come on, we should head to the rink.” 

When walking to the arena, flashbacks to last night keep replaying in your mind. You’re reminded of your face being inches away from Riki’s, him pulling the lanyard around your neck to connect your lips together, and the cool, minty flavour of the lozenge on his lips. 

You don’t realise that you’re unconsciously bringing your fingers up to your lips. The feeling of Riki’s lips on yours still linger, for some reason, and you don’t notice how Keiji’s looking at you strangely. 

“What’s up with you?” Keiji asks.

“Nothing.” you reply quickly. 

You enter the arena, and you head towards the vending machine to buy a coffee. “I’ll head down soon,” you tell Keiji, who nods. 

“(Name).” 

You look up, and you’re greeted with the sight of Riki. “Riki! Hey,” you reply, flashing him a smile. “Didn’t know that you were going to come watch our practice today.” 

“Oh, I’m not watching practice today, sorry. I’ve got a clash, since the men’s official practice is today and at another rink – I just stopped by to hand this to you.” he says, handing you your blanket. He’s folded it neatly, and you thank him gratefully before taking it into your hands.

“Thank you, Riki,” you say. “Um, you’re feeling better today, right?” 

“Yeah. You asked me that this morning,” he chuckles. “Cold medicine and lozenge really did its wonders.” 

You’ll never be able to think of lozenges the same way again. 

The word alone brings you back to the kiss from last night, and maybe you shouldn’t have proposed the idea of putting everything all behind when you can’t even forget about that one kiss. 

“Hello? (Name)?” 

Riki’s voice snaps you out of your daze. “Oh! Sorry. Just competition nerves have gotten me feeling a little out of it,” you lie, chuckling. 

“Hey, you’ll do great.” Riki says, placing a hand on your shoulder. You tense up slightly when Riki’s hand makes contact with your shoulder, and that’s enough for Riki to pull his hand away. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Um, I’m just really nervous. Thank you, by the way.” you say, giving the boy a grateful smile.

“You’re welcome,” Riki says, returning the gesture by smiling at you too. “I’ll head off now, but have a great practice!” 

“You too, Riki.” you beam at him, and you watch as his figure disappears past the doors of the arena. 

Maybe now you realise it’s a little hard to forget about your shared history with Nishimura Riki. But both of you had agreed to put everything behind you two, so that’s exactly what you’ll do, no matter how hard it is to forget some certain events (to name one of them, that kiss from last night.) 

You want to have a relationship with Riki again. Not a romantic one — even though you don’t think you’d mind that if it did happen —  but you want to be friends with him again. You’ve missed having Riki around. 

And as you lace up your skates before heading onto the rink, you tell yourself to forget about the minty flavour on Riki’s lips for just a little while.

EIGHT. strawberry cakes and skates

You don’t spot Riki anywhere when you skate onto the ice for your free skate. 

Admittedly, you are a little disappointed – but that doesn’t stop you from focusing all your attention on making sure you and Keiji have a clean skate. You forget about minty lozenges, Your Name and Riki’s lips on yours. 

Forgetting about those events proves to be helpful, as you and Keiji end up on the podium. Second place isn’t bad at all, and you’re glad that you and Keiji get to add another medal to your collection. Mina and Yuta place first, and even though you and Keiji weren’t the ones to bring home gold, you’re glad that your teammates were able to. 

You rush to the locker room to change out of your costume after the victory ceremony, changing into a cropped cardigan that you had thrifted from somewhere and a pair of jeans. You redo your makeup as well, since the competition makeup is a little too dramatic and over the top after you’ve changed. 

When you leave the locker room, you see Keiji and Riki talking, with Riki holding a Hello Kitty plushie in his hands. You walk up to the two boys, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Hey,” you say, and they both turn their attention to you. 

“Hey,” Riki says, and he holds out the plushie to you. “It’s for you. Sorry I couldn’t make it to watch your performance.” 

You smile at Riki as you gratefully accept it with both hands. “Thank you, Riki. And it’s no problem – I know you’re busy preparing for your own performance later today.” 

“Hey, where’s my plushie?” Keiji asks, looking at Riki. “(Name) steals all of yours anyways,” Riki points out. “Unless you don’t anymore…?”

Keiji crosses his arms, feigning anger. “She still does. But I would’ve guarded the one you gave me with my life, okay? Unless you’re only giving one to her because you–!” 

Riki claps a hand over Keiji’s mouth before he can finish his sentence. You watch the scene in front of you in amusement, chuckling as Keiji gives Riki a death glare. “Good job, Riki.” you say, giving him a thumbs up. 

“You two are ganging up on me again… just like old times.” Keiji says, and this time it’s yours and Riki’s turn to give Keiji a death glare. Keiji bringing up your past relationship with Riki is really not helping either of you in your quest to put everything all behind, and gosh, you love Keiji to death, but you wished that he would just shut up about all this to make things less awkward between you and Riki. 

“Anyways… do you wanna go grab lunch?” you ask, and Riki nods, his hands stuffed into the pocket of his hoodie. “I should probably go eat before my performance later,” Riki says. “Keiji, are you gonna come along?” 

Keiji struggles to hide the small smirk that makes its way onto his lips. He’s got a plan, and that plan is to get you and Riki to spend time alone as much as possible. So he pulls out his phone, pretending that Taki had just texted him. “Oh, Taki and I already planned on going to eat. You guys go alone.” 

“Oh, perfect – just invite Taki along.” you say, and Keiji shakes his head. “No, it’s all good! See you!” 

Your partner then runs off, as you and Riki watch in confusion. “Well… that was really strange.” you say, and Riki nods in agreement. “He told me he had absolutely no plans.” Riki replies. 

“Maybe Taki had just texted him.”

That’s a lie, and you both know it. It’s incredibly obvious that Keiji just wants you and Riki to spend time together, in hopes that you two will reconcile and start dating again. Little does he know that you both have decided to put everything behind – even though that has proven to be a little bit of a struggle, considering how you both can’t stop thinking of the kiss. 

But, you’re not too mad at Keiji running off and leaving you and Riki alone. It provides more opportunities for you and Riki to get used to having each other around again. Since you and Keiji will be training at the same rink as him before Worlds, you’ll see Riki often anyways, and the more you see Riki, the more chances you have to get that whole awkwardness stage over. 

You think it’s going pretty well. 

“Where’d you wanna go eat?” you ask him, and Riki shrugs. “You pick. If you didn’t ask, I was just going to go to a coffee shop, maybe eat something light and get a coffee.” 

“We can do that. I can treat you to coffee now, then.” you beam. 

“You really don’t have to.” Riki says. “Let me help you get that, by the way.” he says, taking your skate bag and slinging it over his own shoulder. “It looks heavy.”

God damn it, Nishimura Riki. You can’t do these heart fluttering gestures when I’m trying to get over you, you think. 

“Oh, thanks.” you manage to choke out, and Riki just nods. “Come on, let’s go.” he says, and you follow him, trying to calm the erratic beating of your heart. Riki knows exactly what to do to make your heart do flips, and he’s certainly making it hard for you to forget about everything. 

“Are you nervous for your free skate later?” you ask him, walking next to him side by side. Riki shrugs, pursing his lips. “I mean… yes? I’m trying not to think about it though… that’ll make me more nervous, and I don’t wanna mess up.” 

“Understandable. I’m sure you’ll do great, though. I saw pictures of your costume — it looks really nice.” 

“Are you stalking me?” Riki jokes, and you shake your head no, laughing. Riki’s comfortable enough to start cracking jokes with you again. You guess he’s handling the whole “putting it all behind us” situation better than you are.

Little do you know, you are very wrong.

The sound of your laughter makes warmth bloom across Riki’s chest. He tells himself to ignore that feeling.

You two walk to a nearby coffee shop, pushing open the door as you hear the bells hung to the handle jingle. The atmosphere is cozy and warm, and there don’t seem to be a lot of people in the cafe at the moment. 

“What do you wanna get?” you ask Riki, and his eyes scan the menu written on the blackboard hung to the wall. “Just an iced americano would be great. I’ll pay for my food.” he says, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

“Nope,” you say, slapping his hand away gently. “My treat.” 

“(Name), you said you were only going to treat me to coffee. Plus, you bought me all that medicine and soup — come on, let me pay for my food.” 

“Just go sit down, Riki.” you say. “I’ll go pay.” 

Riki opens his mouth to protest, but you just shoo him away, and he sighs reluctantly. You turn to the boy at the counter with a bright smile. His name is Jake, according to the name tag clipped to his shirt.

“Hey, what can I get for you today?” 

“Two iced americanos, one slice of the strawberry cake over there and… the banana chocolate muffin.” you tell Jake, who types it into the register. “Cool. Cash or card?” 

“Cash,” you reply, handing Jake the money. “Thanks so much.” 

“No problem,” Jake says, handing you the change. “I’ll bring you guys your order soon.” 

You thank him once again before you head over to where Riki’s sitting. He’s typing on his phone, and he looks up when you sit down in the chair opposite to him.

“What’d you get for me?” 

“Strawberry cake. We’d always go get some after competitions, remember?” you smile softly, and Riki nods. “Of course I do. The shop near the rink had the best ones, remember? The lady there still knows who I am — she’s been asking about you.” 

“Mrs Kimura? Oh my gosh, how is she doing?” 

“Really good, actually.” Riki says. “She’s gotten her grandson to help out with the shop, and the cake’s still just as good. We should go there again when we’re back in Nagoya.”

“Definitely,” you beam. “Gosh, I miss Japan. I’m going to stop by Okayama to visit family first, though. That’s Keiji and I’s plan before going to Nagoya to prepare for Worlds.” 

“Oh, that’s what I’m doing as well,” Riki says. “Konon says Bisco misses me.” 

“Bisco, oh my gosh. I miss Bisco.”

Riki smiles. “Yeah, well… Bisco misses you too. You know, according to my sister, Bisco’s in love with the neighbour’s dog?”

You gasp. “No way. Fudge? That one? Or is it another dog?”

“No, no, it is Fudge!” Riki says, and your jaw drops. “Bisco would always bark at her, but we found out it was because he actually just liked her?”

Riki only found out about Bisco being in love because his sister was trying to tease him about how he “hasn’t pulled anyone since his breakup with you.” Sad, but laughable. And she isn’t wrong, either.

Jake walks up to your table with a tray in his hands, placing one iced americano each in front of the both of you. “Strawberry cake is for…?” 

You gesture to Riki, and Jake sets down the plate in front of him, placing down a fork next to the plate as well as a napkin. “Muffin must be for you, then. Enjoy.” Jake says, and you two thank him before the boy leaves. 

“Strawberries. I love strawberries.” Riki hums.

“Yeah, you microwave them too, like a lunatic.” 

“They taste better microwaved, (Name)! You told me you understood when I made you try it before.” Riki protests, as he watches you take a bite out of your muffin. 

“Well, that was because I was… you know.”

You were going to say that it was because you were in love with him. But saying that would make things awkward, and right now, you’re having a lot of fun talking to Riki. Plus, you haven’t thought about the kiss once. You’re taking this as a win.

“Is the cake good?” you ask Riki, changing the topic, and he nods, taking another bite. “Really good,” he says between mouthfuls. “I wanna buy another one after the competition.” 

“I want to try it. Maybe I’ll order one for myself.” you hum. 

“Just have some of mine.” Riki says, pushing his plate towards you. “Really?” you ask.

“It’s not like we haven’t shared food before.” 

Right. You try a bit of the cake, and Riki’s right — it is really good. It brings you back to when you and Riki would share the strawberry cake at Mrs Kimura’s shop. Of course, it doesn’t taste exactly the same, since the frosting at Mrs Kimura’s is a little lighter.

“That’s so good.” you say, and Riki nods with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Oh, you’ve got frosting there.” Riki says, noticing the smudge of frosting on the side of your lips. “Where?” you ask, and Riki leans in a little closer to wipe the frosting off with the pad of his thumb.

Unconsciously, as he does the motion — your eyes flicker to his lips once again. Riki notices, but he decides not to say anything.

Your face feels hot. Very, very hot. Riki’s does as well.

“Ahem. So…” Riki starts. “We should definitely get more of the cake again.” 

“Oh, one hundred percent. It’s really good.” you say, attempting to rid the awkwardness between you two. It’s working, you think.

The rest of your lunch goes pretty well. You two talk a lot, catching up on what the other has missed through those four years of no contact, and it reminds Riki of your first conversation ever, at Junior Nationals 7 years ago.

But Riki will keep quiet about how he thought of kissing the frosting off your lips.

You also won’t tell him that you were secretly hoping that he did that instead.

NINE. slipping up

Like you and Keiji, Riki places 2nd overall. 

Obviously, he would’ve liked to have taken home the gold, but he’ll just make sure to perform better at Worlds. And second place isn’t the worst. At least he got to go home with a medal, and had gotten some strawberry cake with you after the event was over. 

The time on the plane ride back to Nagoya flies faster than ever, with you and Riki chatting nonstop for the whole duration of the flight. Everyone else on the team watches you both with knowing smiles, giggling to themselves as they whisper to each other about what they think is going to happen between you two. 

“Something definitely happened when I sent (Name) to bring Riki medicine. Their dynamic shifted.” Keiji hums, his eyes fixated on you walking next to Riki.

“They got out of the awkward stage pretty fast, hmm?” Taki tilts his head. “They’re already acting like how they did before they started dating. Maybe it’ll take a bit of meddling to get them together.” 

“You do it.”

“Why do I always have to be the matchmaker?”

“You… did it last time? Because you said you couldn’t stand seeing them acting like a couple but not actually dating?” Keiji blinks, and Taki lets out an ‘ah’ when he’s reminded of his own words from years ago.

“Ah, right. I’m a genius.” 

“Quit flattering yourself,” Kazuha says, walking up to the two boys. “I think they’ll get together on their own this time.” she looks at you two with a smile on her lips.

Taki hopes that Kazuha’s right. Admittedly, he does like meddling in Riki’s love life — only because he wants to see him happy — but he kind of hopes that Riki can just gather up the courage and confess without Taki needing to “accidentally” slip up. 

“Wait, where are you going to stay in Nagoya?” Riki asks you, suddenly remembering that you had sold the apartment where you used to live in before you went to Canada. “Oh, I’m staying with Hinata and I believe Keiji’s going to stay with Fuma.” you reply, mentioning an old friend of yours.

“Ah, Hinata. I haven’t seen her in a really long time,” Riki hums. Hinata was your friend who Riki only happened to meet because you two were dating at the time, and he remembers asking her for ideas on what to get you as a gift for your 6 month anniversary. He eventually settled on a set of headphones that Hinata said that you had been eyeing for a couple of months.

You still use those headphones.

“I haven’t seen her in like… 6 months? But yeah, you haven’t seen Hinata in a while. I’m just going to drop off all this stuff at her place, then I’ll pack another bag and head back to Okayama.” you say, patting the giant luggage that you’re wheeling around.

“That’s my plan as well,” Riki says, checking the time on his phone. “There’s a train in 4 hours, I’ll probably go catch that one. Do you wanna go together?”

You beam at him. “Of course. I was hoping you’d ask — a 4 hour train ride can be so boring.” 

“You could sleep. You didn’t get any sleep on the plane, and you usually doze off the minute you sit down.” Riki points out, and you nod. “Well, I was busy talking to you. Plus, I’m not that tired.” 

“That’s good,” Riki says. “If you wanna sleep on the train, just let me know — I’ll wake you up when we get there.” 

Your heart beats a little faster than normal at his words. Mainly because when you and Riki were together, you’d often find yourselves going on the same trains back to Okayama — you would be sleeping, while Riki listened to music and drew in his sketchbook.

Riki’s sketchbook was filled with drawings of you, with some that he showed you, and some that he hid. Not because he thought they weren’t good, but because he was embarrassed at how often he’d draw you. There were just pages after pages of his doodles of you — he swears there’s one sketchbook that consists only of his drawings of you.

“Okay,” you hum. 

You and Riki part ways soon after that, with you taking the train to Hinata’s apartment. You struggle a bit with walking around with 2 suitcases, but you manage to make it work. You meet Hinata at the station, and she immediately rushes to help you with your bags — but not before she wraps you in a huge hug.

“(Name)!” she says, hugging you so tight you’re gasping for air. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too,” you say, smiling at her. “Congrats on the medal, by the way.” she looks at the medal draped around your neck — you had forgotten to take it off after the pictures at the airport.

“Thanks, Hinata.”

“So… I see from the news that you’ve been reconnecting with a special someone?” she asks, wiggling your eyebrows at you. She’s no doubt referring to Riki, of course. “Sure, I suppose you could say that. We’re going to take the train back to Okayama later today.” 

“What? Riki’s stealing you from me again? Man, don’t tell me I only get to see you for a few hours today before you disappear for a week.” she pouts. 

“I’m sorry!” you reply. “I’ll be back super soon, and we can go hang out as much as you want. We have lots to catch up on anyways. Well, by as much as you want, it depends on when I’m not training, because I can’t skip — Seungmin is going to kill me, but yeah. As much as you want.” 

“That’s not very ‘as much as you want’, (Name).” Hinata jokes, and you sigh. “I know, I’m just so busy. Making plans is much easier during the off-season, which is soon, so don’t worry.” 

“I get it. So,” Hinata starts. “What happened between you and Riki?” 

You can tell her, right? Hinata’s been your closest friend since you were little — she won’t tell anyone. Most importantly, she won’t tell Keiji or Taki. So you think you’ve got the green light to tell her absolutely everything.

The apartment complex Hinata lives in is pretty close to the train station, so you two get there in no time. As Hinata unlocks the door, you figure that you should tell her now — you didn’t want to tell her now, because you were worried that she might get so shocked to the point where she shouted in the streets.

“So, umm… we had lunch together.” you start, and Hinata nods. “Then, he bought me coffee, so I said I’d treat him. But after that, he got sick, so Keiji told me to grab some medicine for him and bring it up to his hotel room — which I did, and then… we, uh…” 

“You guys what?” 

“Kissed.” you murmur, but Hinata can still hear it.

“You guys kissed?” she practically shrieks, and oh, you’re so grateful you decided to tell her when you two came into the apartment. She looks at you with wide eyes, as you sit on the couch, tapping your foot on the ground awkwardly.

“How did you go from buying him medicine then to kissing?” 

“It just happened! It was a spur of the moment thing — but, we had a conversation, and we’ve decided to put everything behind us.” you say, and Hinata looks at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“And how is that working out?” 

“Great! We’re good friends now. Seriously, there’s no awkwardness between us, and I’m over the relationship. Riki and I are just friends now.” 

Hinata nearly bursts into laughter at your words. She just finds it so unbelievable that you and Riki can “put it all behind you two” because from what she knows about you, you’re probably overthinking every single little action from Riki.

“What? Is it so hard to believe?” 

“Yes!” Hinata says, and you frown. “I’m sorry, (Name) — but is it bad to say that I see you two getting back together?” 

No, not at all, you think. You think you’d love that, actually. But you would never admit it out loud, so you lie to her. “Yes.”

Hinata doesn’t believe you. Gosh, maybe you are a terrible liar. Either that, or Keiji and Hinata know you too well. 

You unpack some of the items in your suitcases, placing them in drawers in Hinata’s spare room that she had so kindly allowed you to stay in for the time being. You leave only the essentials in your suitcase that you’re taking with you to Okayama, and you place your skate bag on the floor. You won’t need them for the time you’re there anyways. 

You wheel the suitcase you’ll be bringing with you to Okayama out into the living room, where Hinata’s watching television. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving this soon,” she says, looking over at you. 

“No, not yet. The train’s in 2 hours, so I’ll probably go in an hour and a half so I can meet up with Riki.” 

“Ooh, Riki.” Hinata says, wiggling her eyebrows at you as you groan. “I regret telling you everything. Oh, and whatever you do, do not tell Keiji or Taki. Those little shits will hold it against me until I tell Riki about any possible feelings I may have for him.”

“I won’t tell them. But what do you mean about any possible feelings you might have for Riki? Are you saying you feel something for him again?” she asks, as you brush your hair out of your eyes.

“No? Yes? Ugh, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, okay? Everything’s happening all too fast, and I… need time to figure out how I feel.” 

“Well,” Hinata starts. “Take your time. Nobody said you had to rush into things. Eh, wait — you two kinda did, with that spur of the moment kiss — but hey! Whatever works for you two. Riki and (Name)… just friends!” 

Yes. Whatever works for you two. Right now, you and Riki staying as just friends is working out pretty great, so you think that you two will stick to it. 

“Just friends. You know it.” you chuckle.

Just friends, huh? 

Those two words leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

TEN. side by side (jump)

You meet Riki at the entrance of the train station with a bright smile on your lips.

He seems just as happy to see you as well, despite only seeing you a few hours ago at the airport after your flight. “Good to see you again,” he says. “Even though I saw you a little while ago.” 

“Good to see you too, Riki.” you reply, and you two walk into the train station together. Just like old times. 

Riki waits for you to be able to tap your card on the reader — the train station is quite busy today, even busier than usual. You pass through the gate, dragging your suitcase behind you. “Should we grab some food or snacks? I ate a little bit at Hinata’s, but it’s a 4 hour train ride. We might get hungry.” 

“Sure.” Riki replies. He points out a FamilyMart located inside the station, and you two walk there side by side. “Are you going to get onigiri?” you ask him, and he nods. 

“You’re so predictable, Riki.” 

“You just know me well.” 

Silence. But it’s a comfortable silence. You and Riki have gotten past that awkward stage faster than you two had anticipated. Just friends, now. 

Even if you two wish that you could be more. Like old times. When everything between you and Riki seemed right.

When he’d softly nudge your hands with his head when you stopped playing with his hair for a bit. When he’d hug you randomly in the middle of the ice rink, the both of you hearing Keiji’s frustrated sighs in the background. When he’d kiss you underneath the cherry blossom trees every spring.

With Riki, everything always seems right.

Even the days leading up to the breakup, you enjoyed his presence in your life, even if he could barely spend time with you, and vice versa. 

You two were 17. The stress of transitioning into seniors got to you both, and it wasn’t like you two didn’t hold any more love for each other — it was just skating that had taken the little time you had away from each other. 

But you two are older now. 21 years of age, no longer new to seniors, with a collection of medals stored in boxes in your rooms. So maybe, you two could make things work.

Riki lets you walk into the FamilyMart first, following you to the section that has ready made meals. Riki takes one of the salmon onigiris, while you take a ham and cheese sandwich. You check the expiry date as you follow Riki to the drinks section, the boy picking out 2 bottles of coffee. 

“One for you, one for me.” he says, holding one of the bottles out for you. He knows which one you like. He always did, and it doesn’t seem to have changed throughout the years.

“Thanks,” you say, grinning at him. 

You both head to the cashier to pay, the kind lady giving you a smile as you hand her the money. She bids you both goodbye before you two leave the store with 1 white plastic bag, storing the food and drinks that you two had both bought.

“The train is arriving soon. We should head to the platform,” Riki says, checking his phone. “That’s perfect. We got everything we needed in time!” you say, and he nods. 

“Doing anything special for your return?” Riki asks as you both step into the escalator, and you shrug. “I’m not sure. Mom will probably surprise me, if there’s anything planned.” 

“That would be cute,” Riki says. “l don’t think my parents have anything planned. Bisco’s probably just going to look at me then turn away.” 

You let out a loud laugh at Riki’s words. “Wow, Bisco’s cruel.” 

The train arrives not long after, and Riki helps you put your suitcase in the overhead luggage rack. Riki shuffles into the window seat first — he knows you don’t like sitting there, but you’ve still yet to explain to him why that is the case.

You sit down next to him, taking out the headphones that Riki had gotten you for your 6 month anniversary. “You still use them?” Riki asks, glancing at the headphones.

“Of course. They’re good headphones.” 

He turns towards the window, a soft smile on his lips.

You tell Riki you’re going to sleep, and he nods. The boy pulls out his sketchbook and a pencil, flicking through its contents. There’s some drawings of the food he’s eaten. There’s one of Taki pulling a goofy face, and there’s one that he drew of his old broken skates.

A stark contrast to the sketchbook he owned when you two were together. Where all the drawings were ones of you.

He turns to look at you, who’s sleeping peacefully. 

You’re so pretty. You make Riki’s heart skip a beat. He takes off the coat he’s wearing, draping it over your body. The aircon in the train is cold — he doesn’t want you to shiver in your sleep. 

Unconsciously, a small smile spreads across his lips as he looks at you. If anyone was watching the scene, they would all say that Riki was looking at you with the softest look in his eyes, with nothing but adoration and love for you.

His feelings have never left. Riki has grown to accept that — but he doesn’t know if you feel the same. He’ll keep it quiet for now, or as long as it takes. Riki can’t lose you again.

He would rather be just friends than not having you in his life at all.

Life is more vibrant with you in it. To Riki, you are the sun. You always have been. You light up every room you enter. Your smile is infectious — just the sight of it makes the corners of Riki’s lips quirk up. You brighten up his day every time he sees you, without fail. 

He gently brushes your hair out of your eyes. 

Something about that simple action is filled with so much love. Riki supposes he can’t tell you about how he feels at the moment, in fear of making things awkward again, so he will settle for this.

He’ll tell you that he loves you quietly. So quietly that you might not even notice. 

Riki helps you fix the ponytail in your hair the best he can without waking you up, and he hums as he ties the elastic band around your hair. 

He then returns to his sketchbook, drawing things like the medal that he had just earned, the view from outside the window, and the onigiri that he had bought with you at FamilyMart. 

And one sketch of you that he hides in the back of his book.

You’re asleep for the majority of the train ride. Riki taps you on the shoulder when you two have arrived at Okayama, and you crack one eye open at him when you’re awake. Riki smiles — something about your expression when you wake up is just so endearing to him. 

“We’re here?” 

“Yeah.” Riki says, taking his coat that’s been draped on top of your body. “You looked cold, so.”

“Thanks.” you say, smiling gratefully at him.

You grab your bag, getting up from your seat so Riki can leave as well. He helps you get your suitcase as well, and you two leave the train together, and he waits for you to tap your card on the reader once again.

“Are your parents picking you up?” you ask him, and he nods. “They should be here.” he says, looking around the train station.

“That’s nice.” you say. “I think my mom’s coming too.”

“Tell her I said hi,” Riki tells you, and you nod. “Of course I will. I think she still has lunch with your mom once a week, or something.” you chuckle.

“Ah, right. Mom has mentioned that a couple of times.” Riki laughs. He then seems to spot his family, and a bright smile spreads across his lips. “They’re here. I gotta go… I’ll see you soon?” 

“Of course.” 

You don’t seem to notice how Riki fixed your hair a little bit for you while you were sleeping on the train. He smiles at you before bidding you goodbye.

You turn to watch him run to his family, a small smile on your lips at the sight. Riki doesn’t leave the station before turning back to look at you. 

And with that, the moon waves goodbye to his sun.

ELEVEN. rinkside

Like Riki had anticipated, Bisco simply looks at him before turning away when Riki walks in through the door.

“Well.” Konon says, as Riki looks at his dog with a pout on his lips. “Bisco doesn’t even care about me!” Riki says, placing his bag on the couch.

“He’s side-eyeing you.” 

“He’s always side-eyeing everyone.” 

Konon nods, agreeing with her younger brother’s words. Bisco does have what one might call a permanent judgemental stare. 

Riki flops down onto the couch, Konon sitting down next to him as Bisco wanders off to… wherever he’s going. Probably to stare out the window to get a glimpse of the neighbour’s dog.

“So… you and (Name) came back together?” Konon asks, and Riki nods, grabbing the remote control for the television from the coffee table.

“We were at 4 Continents together. Plus, she’s staying in Nagoya for a bit to train before Worlds — it’s easier than going back to Canada. Their coach Seungmin’s staying with a friend, and Keiji’s staying with his friend too.” Riki explains, clicking onto Netflix.

“I see,” she hums. “I didn’t know you guys started talking again.”

“It’s recent.” 

“What’s recent?” Riki’s mom asks, exiting the kitchen. She looks at her son with a curious look on her face, even though Riki’s pretty sure his mom heard small pieces of his conversation with Konon, and there’s no doubt in his mind that she saw Riki with you at the train station.

“Riki and (Name) are talking again.”

“Don’t say it like that!” Riki says, lightly elbowing his sister. Pink tints his cheeks, and Konon immediately notices.

“What do you mean to not say it like that? You two are talking, am I wrong?” she laughs, and Riki groans.

“The way you worded it is…” Riki trails off, embarrassed. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

“That’s nice. I liked (Name),” Riki’s mom says, a knowing smile on her lips. No matter how badly Riki’s trying to hide it, she knows about her son’s lingering feelings for you, and so does everyone else. 

At the sound of your name, Bisco barks.

He really does play favourites, Riki thinks. 

“I know you did, Mom,” Riki chuckles. “She told me to tell you that she said hi.” 

“That’s kind of her. Tell her I said hi too.” 

“So, what’d you guys do?” Konon asks, and Riki shrugs. “We didn’t have much time to… you know… hang out between the events. We had lunch first, with everyone on the team. That’s how I saw her after 4 years of no contact.” 

“Oh, and then I went to watch her practice with Taki and everyone else. She did really well. Then, I kinda got a little sick, so she brought me tissues, cold medicine, soup — the ones that she knows I like — and lozenges.” Riki purposely leaves out the part where you two kissed. His family doesn’t need to know about that. In fact, he thinks that his sister would rather not know, even if he was willing to share. Konon would probably pretend to throw up, and his mom would definitely tease him about it for the rest of his life. His dad would laugh for hours, and Bisco would just stare at him with that judgemental look of his.

Riki continues rambling about spending time with you at 4 Continents while his mother and sister share a knowing look. “Oh, then we went to grab something to eat, and I got this strawberry cake, like old times, when we used to go to Mrs Kimura’s shop after practice. We have plans to do that again when we return to Nagoya. We had a lot to catch up on, so… yeah. Seeing her again was really fun.” 

Konon chuckles. “Sounds like you had a really nice time at 4 Continents with (Name). You even forgot to tell us about that medal of yours.” 

Konon has always liked you and Riki together. You both were incredibly similar, both loud and mischievous. You and Riki could talk about anything and everything for hours and hours and not get bored, and Konon would simply just watch in awe — she didn’t understand how two people could talk this much and not even feel tired. In fact, before you two started dating, Riki had complained multiple times when he had to leave the rink, because he wanted to talk to you more than he already had.

Konon remembers how Riki would call you his sun. And how you’d call him your moon. 

She also remembers when you and Riki would have movie nights in this exact house, on this exact couch. She’d walk into the living room to get a late night snack, and see Riki’s arms wrapped around you, your bodies covered by a warm blanket. 

You made Riki happy.

As a good sibling, that is all she wants for Riki in his life. Happiness. 

Konon can see how happy Riki is when he skates a completely clean program. She can see how happy Riki is when he gains a new personal best score. She can see how happy Riki is when he earns a medal.

But the happiest she’s ever seen Riki is when he’s with you.

So with the way Riki’s talking about the short amounts of time he was able to spend with you at that competition makes Konon feel like yours and Riki’s story isn’t over yet. The glimmer in his eye returning, the way he’s smiling the entire time when he’s talking about the moments he shared with you,  and the excitement in his voice as he details every moment tells her that her brother is still incredibly in love with you.

She hopes that he realises it. Or has already realised it. 

But she knows Riki is too cautious, too worried that he’ll make a mistake when it comes to you. She doesn’t want him to just stand on the rinkside, constantly overthinking every move he makes when it’s related to you. So she figures that someone will have to give him a little push.

Before 4 Continents, Konon has heard her brother’s constant complaints about how he’s the only one in the family who hasn’t found love yet. But it’s clearer to her now than ever that Riki has always been the first one to find his person. 

Words like how the universe might just simply not want him to fall in love, words like how maybe he’s not made for the thing called love. 

But, the universe decides that it is the right thing to do to bring you and Riki back together. It has been too cruel to you both over the past couple of years — pushing the idea of knowing that you might’ve just lost your chance with the one and being left to wonder if you’ll find someone that can make you feel love the same way that person did. 

But, the universe now decides to bring the sun and the moon back together.

One of them just has to take the first step.

TWELVE. on ice / off ice matchmakers 

Riki doesn’t see you at all during his time in Okayama.

You two both don’t take the same train back as well, since Riki left for Nagoya a little earlier than you’re planning to. He texted you, asking if you were going to be on the train that day, and you replied with a ‘no’ and a sad face emoji. 

You told him that you’d be staying a bit longer to spend more time with family, considering you hadn’t seen them in months. He tells you to have fun, and that he’ll see you back in Nagoya. You reply with a thumbs up and a heart emoji.

He can’t believe that his face heats up because of a stupid heart emoji. Riki thinks that he’s even more in love now than he was then, and maybe it’s because of a mix of those old, lingering feelings with the addition of the new ones that he’s developed over 4 Continents — the point is, Riki is crazily in love with you.

Riki returns to the rink with the thought of you on his mind. He sees Keiji there as well, alongside his coach Seungmin. Hikari doesn’t seem to be here yet, and neither does Taki.

“Hey, Riki!” Keiji says, skating up to the boards. “How was Okayama?” 

“It was good. Spent some time with my family, chilled at home, witnessed my dog try to court the neighbour’s dog, you know, normal stuff.” 

“Your dog is trying to court another dog? Also, what’s with the sudden use of formal language?” Keiji asks, laughing loudly at the fact that Bisco is trying to romance another dog.

“I didn’t know how else to word it? Is saying that my dog is trying to date another dog a better way of putting it?” 

“I can’t believe Bisco’s pulling before me,” Keiji says, sighing. “Oh, and I almost forgot to ask. Did you spend any time with (Name)?” 

Keiji wiggles his eyebrows at him, and Riki just looks at him, unamused. “No. I didn’t.” he replies, and Keiji gasps dramatically. “No way. Riki, what?” 

“(Name) was spending time with her family. I’m seeing her here anyways — I don’t want to take away time that she could’ve spent with them while she’s there.” he explains, sitting down on the bench to put on his skates.

“Okay, that makes sense, I guess.” 

“You seem very hellbent on trying to get me and (Name) back together.” Riki hums as he finishes lacing up his skates. “Look, she’s great. And I… hmm. The thing is, if she doesn’t feel the same way anymore, then it’s not going to happen.” 

“Are you indirectly saying that you’re still in love with her?” 

Riki doesn’t say anything as he takes off his skate guards and skates out onto the ice. 

“Riki! Riki!” Keiji calls out after him, trying to catch up to him. “It’s a yes or no question, it’s just one word, come on, man!” 

“You’ll figure that out.” 

“That’s a yes?” 

Riki doesn’t say anything once more, and Keiji takes his silence as an answer. 

Oh, Keiji is so incredibly excited. Knowing that Riki still likes you and also knowing that your feelings for Riki have never left (despite you denying it constantly) has opened up so many new doors for him to come up with a scheme to get you and Riki back together. 

Keiji usually wouldn’t meddle in his friends’ relationships – that’s more of Taki’s thing, but like Konon, he knows that without a little push, you two would never do anything about it. Keiji would hate to see you both just deciding to let your feelings for each other slowly melt away when he knows that you two are practically perfect for each other. 

Keiji’s coach, Seungmin, looks at him with a curious expression, wondering why his student looks so excited suddenly. 

Seungmin had started coaching you and Keiji when you both moved to Canada. He and his pairs partner Yeji had recently retired, with Yeji wanting to pursue a different path away from the ice, and Seungmin wanting to transition to coaching.

“What are you so excited about?” Seungmin asks when Keiji skates back to the boards. “You know how Riki and (Name) used to date, right?” 

Seungmin nods. Keiji has been talking about it constantly after 4 Continents, and since he wasn’t coaching you and Keiji yet at the time when you and Riki were together, he is quite intrigued about why the whole team wants you both back together.

“Riki still likes her. Maybe even loves her? Not sure. But I swear (Name)‘s been secretly hung up on her relationship ever since they broke up — she’s just made herself so busy to the point where she could forget about it. Plus, they didn’t break up because they didn’t love each other anymore, they did it because skating got in the way!” 

“And you think skating won’t get in the way for them now?” 

“No? They’ve both matured. They can find that healthy work-life balance.” Keiji says, and Seungmin tilts his head. “You do know that Riki lives here, in Nagoya, and we train in Montreal, all the way over in Canada.” 

“Long-distance!” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Taki asks, walking up to them, and a wide grin immediately spreads across Keiji’s lips. 

Taki is quite literally known as the matchmaker in the group. It’s incredible how he can pick up on people’s feelings for one another even with just one interaction with the smallest hint of interest. Riki jokingly says that it’s because he has nothing to do better with his life, but Keiji thinks that it’s a gift from whoever’s above. 

“Your friend and his ex.” Seungmin tells him.

“What about Riki and (Name)?” he asks, a mischievous smile on his lips. He looks at Riki, practising his twizzles on the rink. “Is he finally not in denial about liking (Name)?” 

Keiji adds mind reader to Taki’s list of gifts.

“Yes. You must know him very well.” Seungmin says, and Taki nods. “I’ve witnessed every single part of their relationship. The beginning, the end, and now, finally, the return.” he says, feeling very proud.

“We should try and get them back together.” 

“But Kazuha said that they’ll probably get back together on their own. I feel like my magical matchmaking services aren’t needed in this case,” Taki says, sitting down on the bench. “What a rare thing to say, I know. I think we just have to get (Name) out of her denial phase, and they’ll both just tell each other. They love each other too much to keep that a secret.” 

Taki not meddling in a relationship for once? Keiji is surprised.

“You’re right.” Seungmin says. “Just sit back and watch for a bit, maybe. Then we can see how to go from there, right?” 

“We? Coach, do you wanna be part of the plan?” Keiji asks, shocked at his coach’s response. He didn’t expect Seungmin to even agree with him meddling in your love life, much less wanting to get involved with getting you and Riki back together.

“(Name) deserves to be happy,” Seungmin shrugs. “You guys seem to think that he makes her very happy. Plus, I used to be quite the matchmaker a long time ago, back when I was in college.”

“That was like 5 years ago. Why are you talking like you’re 45?” 

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Shush, Keiji. When (Name) gets back, they’ll probably spend more time together. When we’re not training for Worlds, at least.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Hey Riki?” Taki calls out. “Yeah?” Riki replies, skating closer towards the three near the boards. “Are you planning to see (Name) anytime soon? Like after she comes back?” 

“Yeah, why? She’s going to be training here anyways. She wants to go get strawberry cake at Mrs Kimura’s after practices.” Riki replies, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 

Riki smiles at the thought of seeing you again. The three matchmakers standing near the boards, however, are smiling for a different reason.

THIRTEEN. skate guards

You arrive in Nagoya 2 days later. 

Riki’s eyes light up when he sees you enter the rink, and it does not go unnoticed by Taki and Hikari. Taki silently giggles to himself, and Hikari just looks at you, before looking at Riki again.

Hikari has never said anything about your relationship with Riki, not even when you two were dating. The woman is also impossible to read, so Riki never knew if she approved of his relationship with you. She’d only scold him for being late, and saying that dates weren’t excuses to skip out on practice.

But he knew that Hikari didn’t dislike you. 

“Hey!” you say, skating up to Riki. “Hey, how was your trip back?” he asks, giving you a side hug. Taki and Keiji give each other one of those looks, whispering amongst themselves, as Seungmin just watches your interaction from afar.

“It was nice! I actually bumped into your sister yesterday,” you chuckle, and Riki widens his eyes. Oh gosh, he really hopes Konon didn’t tell you about how he was basically rambling on and on about spending time with you at 4 Continents. “Don’t worry! She didn’t say anything bad. She just said congrats on the medal, and that the next time we’re both back our families should go and grab dinner together.” you say, noticing Riki’s alarmed expression.

Riki lets out a sigh of relief, and you look at him with an amused expression. “What, you thought she’d say something else?” 

“No, no. I was worried she’d say something strange.” 

“Like what?” 

“Nothing.” 

Riki says the word with such quickness that it makes you a little suspicious, but you brush it off. “So… how was your trip? I didn’t get to spend time with you then, so I figured you must be busy with family.” 

“It was good. Bisco has been trying to romance Fudge. I’m unsure if it’s working,” Riki chews on his bottom lip as you laugh. “And I thought you were busy with family, so…” 

“It’s okay. At least we get to see each other now,” you say, beaming.

His heart just does a strange flip, and his cheeks feel hot, face tinting pink all the way up to the tip of his ears. He blames the cold instead of your words. 

“Yeah. We can go get strawberry cake after this?” he asks you, and you nod. “Of course. I’ll go get practicing now, since Keiji just seems to be… staring at us. Then we can maybe go get strawberry cake around… 3?” 

“Of course. It’s a date.” 

Riki then skates off, leaving you with your face feeling hot this time. It’s a date? You know he means that he agrees to the time that you’ve set for going to Mrs Kimura’s shop to get cake, but you know that it can also mean something very different.

You wish that he meant it in a different way. 

You have been in denial about your feelings for Riki for a while now. The signs are all there — from thinking nonstop about the kiss, to his words and his actions making your heart flutter like it used to. 

Oh, you realise. You still love Riki.

You don’t want to leave everything in the past. You want to continue where you two had left off 4 years ago. You want to hold Riki like you used to, hug him like you used to, kiss him like you used to.

You want things to go back to the way they were before.

You stand there in the middle of the rink, eyes following Riki’s figure as he skates across the rink, doing a gorgeous layback Ina Bauer as your heart thumps faster and faster. 

Maybe things could all work out now. Just maybe.

You gulp, hand touching to feel your cheeks — they’re warm, and you tell yourself to snap out of it. You should hurry up with skating so you can go and spend more time with Riki.

You skate up to the boards, and Seungmin looks at you with a small smile on his lips. “So… Riki, huh?”

“Coach, come on. I wanna focus.” 

“I was just asking! And yes, let’s focus.” he says, and you nod. “Keiji, get over here! Stop whispering to Taki.” 

Keiji sighs, telling Taki that he’ll talk to him later. He skates up to you both, hands on his hips. “What are we doing today?” 

“Everything, Keiji. It’s Worlds in less than a month, and we want that medal.” you tell him, and Keiji nods. “Come on, let’s go.” 

You and Keiji skate away from the boards, and as you fiddle with the hair tie on your wrist, Keiji asks you about what you and Riki were talking about. 

You immediately shake your head, saying that it’s nothing important with a soft smile on your lips. “Let’s focus now.” you say. You want to keep your conversations with Riki a little more private now, considering how you know that Keiji is prone to telling everything related about you and Riki to Taki. 

During the practice, you don’t miss Riki’s occasional glances at you. When you catch him looking, he simply gives you a thumbs up, telling you that you’re doing great. 

You thank him quietly, as Keiji struggles to hide the cheeky grin on his lips.

You also don’t miss Hikari telling Riki to focus on his own practice instead of yours as you and Keiji twizzle across the ice. There’s a soft smile on your lips at her words, for some reason. 

Practice goes smoothly for Riki, for the most part. He does fall a couple times on a few quads, but during the final runthrough of his program for the day, he lands them all cleanly. Hikari gives him a nod in satisfaction, telling him that he did well. Riki thanks her, and she gives him a close-lipped smile.

He exits the rink, putting his skate guards back on. He spots your purple ones placed on the bench. You still use the same ones as 4 years ago. 

“Um, Seungmin? Could you tell (Name) I’ll be waiting for her? I’m just going to get changed.” he tells your coach, who nods. “Of course. Have fun.” 

Have fun getting changed?

It doesn’t register in Riki’s mind until he’s in the dressing room a few minutes later that Seungmin means that Riki should have fun spending time with you.

Riki exits the changing room after spraying some cologne on, changed into a hoodie and a pair of jeans. You’re the one putting on your skate guards now, and you tell him that you won’t be long.

He nods, waiting patiently next to the vending machine as he sees you disappear into the women’s changing room. You appear a few minutes later in a fresh change of clothes, smiling at him.

The sight of you makes his heart skip a beat.

“So… should we go?” 

“Of course. Let’s go.” he says. He bids goodbye to Seungmin, Hikari, and Keiji — Taki is nowhere to be seen, for some reason. 

You and Riki leave the rink together, leaving your bags at the rink since you two would come back later anyways. The walk to Mrs Kimura’s shop doesn’t take too long, since it’s just across the street. You haven’t seen the kind lady in years.

Riki pushes open the door, letting you enter first.

“Welcome!” the voice of Mrs Kimura makes you smile, and as you approach the counter, the old lady seems to recognise you. “Oh my. Is that (Name)?” 

“Long time no see, Mrs Kimura!” you say, smiling brightly at her. Mrs Kimura walks around the counter, approaching you to give you a warm hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages! Oh, and Riki’s here as well! I didn’t know that you two got back together. That’s so sweet.” 

“Oh, we’re not together, Mrs Kimura.” you say, chuckling awkwardly. Riki nods, and Mrs Kimura lets out a small ‘oh’.

“Well, sorry for misunderstanding.” she laughs, and you shrug. “It’s quite alright. You did see us come here often when we were together.” 

“Yes, I did. You two were adorable together.” she beams. “So, the usual for you both? Strawberry cake?” 

“Of course. That’s very kind of you for still remembering.” you say. “Riki still comes here often, after practice. Just you know, without you around.” Mrs Kimura says, looking at Riki, who’s gone to sit at the table closest to the window. That table was where you two would always sit whenever you came here.

“Oh, I see.” you say. 

“He seems to have missed you quite a bit, over the years. I would ask about you, and he’d just tell me he didn’t know with this sort of… sad look on his face.”

You didn’t know Riki felt that way.

“But I’m glad you and Riki are talking again.” she says, as she cuts two slices of the strawberry cake. She places them on small plates, pushing them towards you. “Free of charge today.” 

“Oh, Mrs Kimura, no. I’ll pay.” you say, and the lady shakes her head. “No, no, no. Just seeing you again after a long time is enough. I have missed seeing you almost every day, you know.” she replies.

“I’ve missed seeing you every day as well. And thank you so much, Mrs Kimura.” you say.

“He’s looking at you.” she whispers to you.

“Hmm?”

“I think he really likes you.” 

You smile, looking back at Riki. “I think I really like him too.” 

FOURTEEN. when the ice melts 

As the World Championships inches closer, you and Riki find yourselves training more intensely each day.

The only time that you two can spend together without being stressed about preparations for Worlds is at Mrs Kimura’s shop, ordering 2 slices of strawberry cake like usual. You and Riki talk about everything but skating, such as Riki giving you updates on how Bisco’s mission on trying to romance Fudge is going. 

According to his mother, it seems to be going well. 

“Bisco is going to get a girlfriend before you do.” Taki says, taking a sip out of his water bottle. 

Riki glares at your pairs partner. “Actually, I have exes.” 

“Correction, you have one ex. Who just so happens to be standing next to you.” Taki gestures to you, who’s awkwardly standing there. You opt to give a thumbs up with an uncomfortable smile, making Taki burst out in laughter. “Yes… us… exes!” you say, and Riki copies your action, awkwardly giving Taki a thumbs up as well. 

Taki laughs even louder. 

“You guys are funny,” Seungmin says, placing his bags down. “Where’s Keiji?” 

“Not here yet,” you say. “I’ll just practice some solo jumps?” 

Seungmin nods, telling you that it’s a good idea. You tell Taki and Keiji you’ll get practicing before skating off, leaving the two boys and Hikari standing near the boards. “So… are you going to tell her?” Taki asks Riki, and the younger boy looks at him, feigning confusion. 

“Tell her what?” 

“That you like her.” Taki says, as the two boys watch you skate around the rink, before taking off into a triple loop. “What do you mean?” Riki asks. 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Riki. I’ve been stuck with you since we were both 3 years old.” Taki nudges the younger boy, who doesn’t say anything. “I’m really not going to meddle with your love life this time. I swear. I know you and (Name) will get together on your own, so… I’m stepping away.”

“You’re acting as if being a matchmaker is your job, Taki.” Riki chuckles, and Taki shrugs. “It’s my part time job. I’m a full time figure skater, mind reader, and a part-time matchmaker.” 

“Mind reader?” Riki questions.

“Yeah. I’m reading your mind right now, and your mind is telling me that you like (Name), but you’re too scared to tell her because you don’t want to screw things up all over again.” 

Riki flips Taki off, who gasps, feigning offence. Riki despises how Taki knows him so well. Or maybe that Riki just isn’t doing the best job at hiding it. 

“I don’t… what?” 

“Riki, it’s just me. You can be honest with me.” 

“You’re probably going to tell (Name) like you did all those years ago. Look, Taki — I don’t think it’s a good idea this time.” Riki sighs.

“Explain what you mean, Riki.” 

“I… don’t think I should tell her how I feel,” Riki confesses. “Not only is it too early, but also, there’s a multitude of other factors that just tells me that if I confess, things might not turn out the way we want them to again. She lives all the way in Canada, I live here — our lives revolve around skating all day, and with the 13 hour time difference too, I don’t think a romantic relationship can survive all that, even if she likes me back. Plus, we’ve just started being friends again. Look… I would rather have her as a friend, than lose her completely.” 

“Riki, but you really like her.” 

“I know.” Riki sighs. “I always will.”

“But relationships are complicated. Love is complicated, even more so for people like us who dedicate our lives to our sport. I just don’t want to lose (Name) once again. Because at 4 Continents, I finally realised how empty life seemed without her in it. Those 4 years separated her were, no offence to you, and everyone else around, but less… vibrant, in a way. And now that we’re back in each other's lives… I don’t want to go back to how uninteresting and boring life was before.” he muses. Taki listens to him intently, his lips slightly downturned into a frown.

“Plus,” Riki chuckles. “I don’t even know if she likes me back.”

“Of course she does, Riki. What are you even saying? She looks at you as if you’re her entire world.” Taki says, and Riki smiles slightly. “That is a nice thing to say. I would like to get back together with her, if she did like me back.” 

“But if not, I would rather things between (Name) and I to stay like this instead of… you know.” 

Riki doesn’t know that you hear him say those exact words as you skate by the two boys. You didn’t hear the parts they said before, but you sure did hear what Riki said about wanting things to stay the same.

“What do you mean by you know?” Taki asks.

“Seriously, man? I would rather things stay like this rather than having no relationship at all. I thought it was clear, considering everything else I had said earlier.” 

But to you, it is not clear at all. Without context of Taki and Riki’s previous conversation, you’re left thinking that you were wrong.

Riki really doesn’t like you back. 

You feel your heart shatter a little at his words. You held up the tiniest bit of hope, and all this came crashing down with just one sentence from the boy’s lips.

But really, what did you expect? He told you that he agreed that it was a spur of the moment kiss at the hotel. He agreed to leave it all behind, and it seems like he held up on his part of the deal.

However, you didn’t. 

Nishimura Riki twizzles right into your heart once again and ends up breaking it. 

You should’ve expected this to happen. Falling for your ex boyfriend after only a couple of weeks of talking again? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. You were just stupid and foolish enough to think that maybe you and Riki could be a thing again, and look where it got you.

You try to rid your mind of the thought. It doesn’t hurt this bad. The breakup didn’t hurt like this. I should be fine.

To forget about the words that Riki had said, you decide to just focus on practicing your solo jumps. Keiji still hasn’t gotten here, and for once, you actually want to confide in him. 

You then take off into a triple flip.

His words must’ve messed with your mind a little. You’re not as focused as you usually are, which is to be expected — so your body makes an impact with the cold, hard, ice.

Every fall hurts a little bit.

This one hurts a little more than usual.

When Riki sees you fall, he immediately skates over to you. “(Name), you okay?” he asks, worry laced in his tone. Somehow, him skating over to help you back up makes your heart twinge a little. 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” you murmur, and Riki holds out his hand for you to take so he can pull you back up. You take his hand, and butterflies erupt in your stomach — even if you tell them to stop.

Riki doesn’t like you back, you tell yourself. He’s just really nice. He’s always been really nice. That’s why you fell for him in the first place. 

“Careful,” he says, as you give him a smile that doesn’t really quite reach your eyes. Riki’s able to read you like he used to now, and he can tell that you’re not quite happy with something. “Yeah. I will. Thanks.” you say, before skating off, leaving Riki confused.

You were okay before. Did he do something wrong? Were you upset because you fell on the flip? 

He skates back to Taki with a confused expression on his face. “(Name) seems upset.” he frowns, biting on the inside of his cheek. “Maybe it’s because she fell on the flip.” 

“Maybe…” Riki trails off. But he knows you well enough to know it’s not that. Sure, you’d be a little disappointed, but you wouldn’t usually let it show on your face. 

“Boys. Let’s get practicing.” Hikari says, and the two nod. Keiji just so happens to arrive, and you sigh in relief. “You’re here!” Riki hears you say as he pulls his black gloves onto his hands.

As Riki practices, he tries to not think about your upset expression. But, Riki is an overthinker — he just can’t help it. He hopes that maybe he’ll be able to lift your mood a little bit later, but the thought of you being upset distracts him a little, and Hikari notices.

Of course she would. She notices everything. 

And when Riki lands a quadruple salchow shakily, Hikari decides to call him over.

“Is something distracting you? What’s on your mind today?” she asks him.

Riki looks at his coach, a little shocked. She never usually asks him about personal stuff. “No, it’s just… forget it. I’m sorry.” Riki says, and Hikari shakes her head. “Don’t lie to me, Riki. Worlds is in a few weeks, and I don’t want anything stressing you out because it’ll hinder your performance. Just tell me.” 

Riki turns his head to look at you and Keiji, and Hikari understands immediately.

“Are you still in love with your ex girlfriend?” 

“Coach, I…” 

“It’s very obvious, Riki. Why is that bothering you then?” she asks. Riki sighs, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Because she seems upset. And I can’t help but wonder if I did something that made her feel that way.” 

“Did you say anything?” 

“I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to say anything that would hurt her feelings, considering that I do like her.”

“Then you’re fine. Focus on skating. I can help you handle this.” Hikari says, and Riki looks at his coach, shocked. “What?” she asks.

“You’ve never talked to me about anything regarding my personal life. I’m just not used to this at all.” he confesses, and Hikari shrugs. “I’ve been your coach for the majority of your life. I pick up things that you don’t notice until later. Such as how when I knew immediately that you and (Name) would be together after you two started talking at Junior Nationals that year.” 

“Oh,” Riki says. “I just… I don’t know. I like her a lot, but skating seems to get in the way.” 

“You both need to find that work-life balance. As a coach, I should be telling you that skating is the most important. But, your relationships with others are just as important, and if you love her as much as you do, you should keep your relationship with her as a priority as well.” 

“Okay.” Riki breathes out. 

“Now get back to practice. I’ll talk to (Name) later.” 

FIFTEEN. compulsory figures 

Nagai Hikari has always intimidated you.

Riki’s coach stands at 5’1, but she is incredibly scary for some reason. The lady has a straight face almost 90% of the time, and you remember the times where she’d scold you and Riki for being late to practice with pure anger on her face. Of course, you understood why she was so angry, but that didn’t take away how frightening she was to you.

So when she asks you to talk after your practice is over, you’re a little bit scared.

Riki is somehow nowhere to be seen. He left the rink a little while ago, disappearing into the changing rooms — and you don’t think you’ve seen him leave, but you also don’t know where he is.

You know Riki isn’t that cruel to go to Mrs Kimura’s shop without you, so maybe he’s still in the changing rooms, or he’s gone off to somewhere else when you were too busy practising to notice.

“Um, what’s this about, Ms Nagai?” you ask her, as she pats the seat next to her, motioning for you to sit down. “Riki tells me you’re upset.” 

You don’t know why his coach is telling you this, but you stay and listen.

“Um… I suppose so. Why’d he tell you?” 

“He was distracted during practice today,” Hikari hums. “I figured it might be because he’s thinking about you.” 

Your face heats up a little after hearing Hikari’s words. “And… why would he be thinking about me?” 

“Because he loves you.”

Hikari gets straight to the point.

“That can’t be right,” you chuckle awkwardly. “I just overheard him saying to Taki that he likes how things are between me and him, and… he’d rather it stay like that then… you know.” 

“Did he say what the ‘you know’ was?” the lady asks you.

“No?” 

“The ‘you know’ is not even being in contact with you at all. Riki is scared of losing you completely if he tells you how he feels.” Hikari tells you. “You should go tell him how you feel, because after hearing what Taki and Riki were talking about, I don’t believe he will be the one to make the first move.” 

“But how do you know that I still like Riki?” 

The lady looks at you as if the answer is obvious, because Hikari really can’t believe you had just asked her that — you and Riki have never been able to hide any sort of feelings that you had for each other. “You look at him the same way you did when you two were younger. Like he is everything to you. He looks at you the same way. Don’t lose him again. And don’t hurt him.” 

“He looks at me like that?” you ask her, and she nods.

“All the time. You just must have not noticed,” she says. You sigh, and Hikari frowns. “Why are you sighing? I just told you the words that you wanted to hear.” 

“No, I know, Mrs Nagai — it’s just hit me right now that even if Riki and I continue our relationship from 4 years ago, things will be even more complicated and hard. The time difference, the flights, everything will be harder than before, and we couldn’t even survive that.” 

“You two will make things work. You both love each other too much to not even give your relationship a second chance.” 

The lady gets up out of her seat before walking away, leaving you to register everything she’s told you in your short conversation with her. So you had just misunderstood. Nagai Hikari knows Riki very well, arguably better than some of Riki’s friends, considering how she’s literally watched him grow up.

She has watched you grow up too, with you and Keiji training at this exact rink just with a different coach. She had been there when your relationship with Riki had sprouted, blossomed, then wilted. 

Hikari’s silent observations prove to be useful to you. Riki loves you, she had said. Your heart fills with joy at the sound of that.

But now you know that you’re the one who needs to make the first move, and nervousness courses through your veins. The last and first time you’ve ever confessed to someone is after Taki had left it all out in the open. You two just whispered a meek ‘I like you a lot’, and then Riki asked you if you’d like to be his girlfriend.

You had said yes.

You don’t think the confession should go like that this time around. Your first confession lasted no longer than 5 minutes. Your first breakup lasted no longer than 5 minutes.

Love is special. It should be treated as such.

6 years ago, as a teenager and after Taki exposed your feelings for each other, you should have told Riki how crazily, stupidly in love he made you feel. You should’ve told him that every second, every moment you shared with him sparked this feeling of joy that you couldn’t possibly ever describe in any shape of form. You should’ve told him that there is nobody else in the world that you could ever imagine feeling this way for. 

And 4 years ago, after you both came to the realisation that things weren’t working out, you should’ve told Riki that you wanted to try and fix things. You should’ve told him that even though everything was going south, those short moments with him that you managed to squeeze into your busy schedule was the only time you felt like you were at peace.

You should’ve told him that despite everything, you still loved him.

So this time around, you’ll tell Riki all the words you never got to say during your first confession, and during your breakup. 

The words “I like you a lot” are not remotely enough to describe your feelings for Riki. You could write entire paragraphs about your feelings, and 5 words, 12 letters is nowhere near the length of a paragraph.

You get up from your seat, looking around to try and find Taki. When you do, you immediately run up to him, startling him a little bit. “Do you know where Riki is?” you ask him, and a sly smile spreads across his lips.

“You look like you’re in a hurry.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Okay. Well, he’s gone to see Rei. He says that she’s not feeling well.” 

“Ah,” you say, pulling out your phone. Sure enough, there are a couple messages from Riki. 

Rei’s throwing up, I think she ate something bad. Had to leave early to drive her to the doctor’s. I won’t be able to get strawberry cake with you at Mrs Kimura’s today, but I bought you a slice and dropped it off at Hinata’s apartment on my way to Rei’s. Hoping it lifts your mood a bit. See you tomorrow!

Knowing that Riki had even gone out of his way to buy you a slice of the strawberry cake and drop it off at Hinata’s apartment himself when he couldn’t go to the shop with you today makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

You can’t believe you’ve found someone like Nishimura Riki.

“What are you smiling at?” Taki asks you, even though he already knows the answer. Don’t worry about it, and thank you for the cake! Hope Rei feels better soon, you write, before tapping send.

“You know the answer without asking, Taki.” you say, before grabbing your bags and leaving the arena.

You return to Hinata’s with a bright smile, strawberry cake waiting for you and your feelings for Riki stronger than ever.

SIXTEEN. in every universe, 1Lo<. 

Riki heads to the rink much earlier than he usually does on a Wednesday morning. 

He’s hoping to get in more practice time today, since his practice was abruptly cut by Rei getting food poisoning, leading to Riki needing to drive his cousin to the hospital. 

The streets of Nagoya are awfully quiet this early in the morning, and as Riki walks by empty streets with his headphones on, he quietly admires the city that he calls his home away from home.

The boy pushes past the doors of the arena, the cold air from the rink brushing against his face. It’s not possible for someone to be here this early in the morning — hell, he knows that even Hikari isn’t awake right now. 

The boy quietly places down his bags, pulling his skates out. He puts his skates on, placing his regular sneakers into a shoe bag that he stuffs into his skate bag. Riki finishes lacing up his skates, and he walks over to his locker, shoving his bags in there. 

Riki removes his skate guards before skating out onto the ice. 

The ice has never felt so comforting to Riki, especially during preparations for Worlds. Perhaps he should start practising much earlier than he usually does.

But then he hears the doors of the arena open, and he curiously looks towards the entrance to see who would possibly come here this early, other than him.

It’s you.

He doesn’t know why something so simple, such as you walking through the doors makes his breath hitch. Butterflies flutter in his stomach, and despite how cold the rink is, Riki has never felt so warm. 

You seem to spot him, and you hurriedly lace up your skates before skating onto the ice — seemingly not even bothering to put your skate bag away into your own locker.

“Morning,” you breathe out.

Riki doesn’t know how nervous you are.

“Morning.” Riki smiles at you, and just at the sight of his smile, you swear you fall in love with him all over again. 

“How’s Rei?” you skate beside him, and Riki shrugs at your words. “She’s doing okay, I think. Her friend Gaeul’s taking care of her, since she knows I’m busy preparing for Worlds. I should go and see her sometime soon though, just to check up.”

Riki seems to suddenly remember something. “Oh, did you get the cake?”

“Yes, I did!” you say with a wide grin and a bright twinkle in your eye. Warmth blooms across Riki’s chest at the sight of your joyful smile. He’s glad he’s the one who was able to make you smile like that. “I’m glad Hinata didn’t eat the cake.” 

“Me too.” 

Then there’s just silence between you and Riki. It’s not a comfortable silence, but it’s not awkward, either. It’s just you, trying to get yourself to muster up the courage to tell him what you’ve wanted to say to him, and Riki, sensing that you’re about to tell him something, but nothing seems to slip past your lips.

Riki decides that he doesn’t quite like the silence. “Are you okay from yesterday?” 

“Hmm?” 

“You seemed upset. I got worried.” he confesses, looking down at his skates. A tiny smile appears on your lips.

“I’m okay. It was just me overthinking.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Is this the right time? you ask yourself. You don’t know what exactly to say. All you know is your feelings towards Riki are so strong that you just can’t keep it a secret anymore. You don’t have a clearly thought out paragraph to tell him how you feel, you don’t have anything rehearsed — all you have are your feelings.

“I love you,” you blurt out.

You just hope that your feelings are enough.

Riki stops in his tracks. 

“I have never stopped loving you, and it’s killing me that I only realised a couple weeks ago. Less than 5 minutes seems like all the time we need to make major decisions regarding our relationship — but I don’t want 5 minutes. 5 minutes is too little for me to tell you how much I like you. It’s too little for me to tell you that even when we were 14 years old, with our eyes set on nothing but flashy titles and gold medals, I knew that you would be the only one that I could ever find myself having these types of feelings for. It’s too little for me to tell you that during those 5 minutes of our breakup, I should’ve gathered the courage to tell you to stay.” 

You take a step closer to him. “And I know that with my confession, I’ve opened up hundreds, even thousands of doors of problems that could happen in our relationship. Staying as just friends would and could have avoided all that — but I don’t want to be just friends. Hikari is right. I love you too much to not even try and give our relationship a second chance, and I… I don’t know. I suppose that I should tell you that I wish that I didn’t propose the idea to leave our relationship all behind when you kissed me at 4 Continents. I wish that I didn’t tell you that it was all just a spur of the moment thing — I wanted it to happen. And after it did happen, I wanted it to happen over, and over, and over again.”

“I don’t know. Perfection is everything that we have strived for,” you mumble. “Every day, we are told to execute certain things to perfection. And I know that we’ll never be as perfect as we are on the ice. But I don’t need perfection when I have you.” 

You pour your entire heart out. You’ve said every single possible thing that comes to mind, and your mind is now just blank. You don’t know what Riki’s going to say, what he’s going to do — all you know is that you could feel nothing but overwhelming joy in the next second, or overwhelming, crushing, heartbreak.

You can’t read Riki’s expression. He seems like he’s still trying to register all the words you had just said.

But then he tugs on the sleeve of your jacket. You look at him, confused — until you see the widest smile you’ve ever seen on Riki’s face.

“I love you too.” he beams, and you feel that overwhelming feeling of joy. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest to hide the stupid, lovestruck grin on your lips. 

You look at him, and Mrs Kimura is right. He does look at you as if you’ve got stars in your eyes. “I was scared to tell you how I felt. Because I was worried that you wouldn’t feel the same way — and I couldn’t lose you all over again,” he mumbles.

“You’ll never lose me.” 

Riki’s lips quirk up into a smile. “I didn’t want to forget about our shared history after the kiss. I guess that I’m just always too fearful to tell you how crazily in love I am with you.”

“I guess that makes us crazily in love with each other.” you whisper to him.

He nods, a breathy laugh escaping past his lips. Riki then leans in to connect your lips with his, and everything feels right. Everything has always felt right with you. The flavour of the minty lozenge from the kiss at 4 Continents is instead replaced with your strawberry flavoured chapstick, and Riki brings his hand up to slowly cup your cheek.

Your first confession was at this rink. Your breakup was at this rink. And now your second first confession and second first kiss is also at this rink. 

This time, everything is exactly the way you had imagined it. Nobody is there to interfere. No words have been left unsaid. This time, it is just you and Riki, and you know that perfect is not an ideal word to describe things, given how much pressure the word alone in a different context holds — but everything is perfect.

Riki doesn’t know if soulmates exist or not. But if he did have one, he knew it would be you. You both are like two missing puzzle pieces that match perfectly together — as if he was made for you, and you were made for him.

When you both pull away, Riki rests his forehead against yours. “I watched a movie a few days ago,” he whispers.

“What was it about?” 

“The multiverse,” he replies, lacing his hands with yours. “Hundreds and hundreds of different universes. And I thought to myself: in each and every universe, I would still want to find my way back to you.” 

Your heart swells to the point where you think it’s about to burst at the seams. “And I would always want to find my way back to you, too.” 

Nishimura Riki is yours, as much as you are his. He has never left your heart the second he twizzled his way into it, and you truly are surprised how it took you this long to accept it when everybody else (but Riki, too) had known that you two would eventually find your way back to each other.

Wherever you are in the world, I will search for you. 

And as Riki presses another kiss to your lips, he knows that love is no longer some sort of mystery he cannot figure out anymore. 

Riki realises that love isn’t as complicated as he thought. Love, to Riki, is you. It is the most simplest of definitions, and Riki knows the meaning will never change for him.

Riki may be still a quarter of a rotation off on that quadruple axel, but for love? Riki isn’t a quarter off at all anymore. 

He puts love on pause, because he will only ever press play when he finds his way back to you. Love is no longer far away, out of reach, and only something Riki can dream of experiencing anymore. He is with you, your hand in his — and everything is right. 

You twizzle your way right into Nishimura Riki’s heart all over again, and he knows you’ll stay there for a very, very long time.

---

LOVEEEEE 💓

CRUSH CULTURE -park sunghoon.

🌀SYNOPSIS! back when you were a trainee you released a absolutely awful song about your fattest idol crush: park sunghoon. as you debut you hope it got lost in the depths of the internet, but what happens when the one and only enhypen member finds it?

🌀GENRE! idol au, strangers to lovers, fluff, smau

🌀PAIRING! idol!sunghoon x idolfem!reader

🌀STATUS! completed!

🌀WARNINGS! my corny ass jokes‼️

🌀FEATURING! enhypen, nct's HENDERY! stayc's YOON!

🌀AUTHORS NOTE! I AM CONTINUING LOVE THEORY!!! im just crazy like that and like starting things without finishing other stuff🙏💯

OO1. eingenes

OO2. leaked

OO3. solo

OO4. call me baby

OO5. hoony/n enabler

OO6. happy birthday

OO7. kay why es

OO8. future husband and son

OO9. how do you impress a girl

O1O. lost cause (smau+0.4k)

O11. #HIROKO _OUT

O12. 4HYPEN

O13. heartbreak anniversary

O14. in my bed

O15. finally real

O16. Ready To Love

O17. last straw

O18. player no. 23

O19. y/n girlfriend era

---

why are so many jungwon writers deactivated 😭 couldn’t you just archive your blog??? now i just see broken links 😔

if you have any reccs lmk!!

really wanted to read an idol!jungwon x idol!reader but i 3 of DEACTIVATED AUTHORS how are they even searchable?? this is why i have trust issues 💀

---

FIXED COMFORT | SUNGHOON

SUMMARY: typically, sunghoon’s the one who takes care of you when you’ve had one too many. but once in a blue moon, he lets his guard down and allows you to care for him the way he does for you.

or, the one where sunghoon’s drunk at a bar and misses his girlfriend a little too much.

NOTES: idk I just feel like someone should let him sleep for six months straight!!!

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 4.4K (4444 exactly—she’s a shortie).

WARNINGS: fluff on fluff on fluff.

***

“Hey, do you think you could come get Sunghoon from the bar? He’s been asking for you for the past hour.”  

Jay’s phone call pulls you out from a deep slumber on a Saturday night that falls on a day with no plans other than pure relaxation. Sunghoon had been preoccupied with work and classes this past week and wanted to unwind by drinking at his favorite bar with his closest friends and all you wanted to do was sleep the weekend away. 

Since the two of you started dating six months ago after being friends for a little over two years, you both agree on the notion that you’ve found a good balance between time spent together and apart respectively. Nothing fundamentally changed with the exception of kissing and touching one another in the way a couple would. He still respects your independence and you respect his time away from you as well. 

Sunghoon learned quickly that you’re the type of person who values your alone time more than anything else. When he first started developing feelings for you, grappling with your absence wasn’t easy. He initially thought you weren’t interested in getting to know him the way he was with you because you weren’t afraid to decline invitations and telling people ‘no.’ Slowly, over the course of many months of pining and late night conversations, did Sunghoon learn that you’re typically your best self after a moment of isolation. 

Your boyfriend is somewhere in between an introvert and extrovert. He tends to be shy when he meets people he isn’t familiar with while his loud, rambunctious attitude is typically reserved for those who know him best. He likes to keep to himself for the most part, giving some of his personality away when he feels his walls start to crumble naturally. You love that he has a good head on his shoulders and that he’s able to tell you about his feelings while maintaining an air of confidence. He doesn’t inherently need anybody; he likes your company and will do anything to keep it.

Moments like this are when your heart feels softer for Sunghoon than when the two of you were just friends.

“I know you wanted to spend the weekend alone but Hoon’s been saying your name all night,” Jay says. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“No, it’s fine.” You’re sure Jay can hear your brittle voice. “Are you guys at the bar near your place?”

“That’s the one. Thanks again and I’m really sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t sweat it. Cook me something next week if you still feel bad.” 

“I can do that. Chili oil noodles with shrimp sound good?”

“It’s almost like you know me.” He laughs at your sarcasm. 

“Drive safe.” 

When Jay hangs up, you allow yourself a few minutes to adjust and wake up, stretching your body from the warm comfort of your blankets. You change out of Sunghoon’s shirt to put on pajama pants and another one of his stolen shirts, opting not to take a jacket since you figure you won’t be out for very long. 

You thank your past self for filling up your gas tank before tonight after having put it off for a few days. Knowing Sunghoon, he would still scold you for allowing yourself to run nearly empty before filling it up even if he was inebriated. Somehow, knowing this about him brings a smile to your face.

Sunghoon’s the kind of guy who likes to have some control over certain things. He likes order and structure, often waking up at the same hour every weekday to build a routine his body can remember. He’s been like that since you first met him but you think it’s part of his charm. Even from two years ago, when you met him through Jake Sim, Sunghoon has maintained a level of confidence and control that he does now. On the heels of an impressive skating career before pivoting to focus on higher education, Sunghoon had his preferences and will stick by them. 

His discipline is the first thing you noticed when you met him for the first time. Jay, someone you were already familiar with, agreed to cook dinner with your friend group under the condition that everyone helped him shop and chip in for the meal. Sunghoon held Jake back from buying unnecessary things like boxed chocolate milk and candy because Jay had desserts back at his place. He held a checklist of items whereas the rest of your friends ran up and down the aisles without thinking much about what needed to be purchased.

Sunghoon’s near-meticulous behavior is juxtaposed to your chaotic and rambunctious nature. You often follow your gut instead of setting a solid plan because you’re not concerned with meeting deadlines, sans education. Whereas you tend to lean towards a go-with-the-flow attitude, Sunghoon is the opposite. But that’s something he loves about you.  

At a surface level distinction, it didn’t seem like the two of you would get along as well as you did. It surprised Jake when Sunghoon asked for your number so he could text you about seeing a comedy film with him as no one else in the group wanted to see it. Including you at an impromptu study session with him (Sunghoon was organized and neat while your pens were spread all over and your study methods, haphazard) felt like watching two people clash. 

Rather, you and Sunghoon complement one another. 

The idea of letting himself go with someone who wasn’t part of his friend collective was unheard of. Getting to know a girl who didn’t share similar lifestyles didn’t appeal to him before meeting you, and you’re inarguably the most chaotic person Sunghoon knows. But he finds that there’s order within your chaos—you know who you are and what you want, and you will not compromise yourself just to please other people. 

It’s what Sunghoon loves the most about you. There’s a boundary you never let anyone cross under the assumption that your own safety net feels compromised. He’s watched you lose friends for this same reason and has always admired the way you carry yourself like you know you deserve better than people who disrespect you. He’s witnessed the grace you maintain when people who call you a friend voice words of kindness but speak ill about you behind your back. If anything, Sunghoon feels pity for anyone who crosses you to the point of anger. To be envious of another’s confidence is one thing. To make that known is another. 

Sunghoon learns that you let your inhibitions go because holding control over yourself feels like a burden. It feels like setting a standard you will never be able to meet. He never thought of order in that way before getting to know you. Your approach to life sparked a new wave of emotions within him to the point where he was open and willing to let you farther into his life. 

His days were ruled by guidelines he had to maintain and proper etiquette that followed him even off the rink. The poise he carried from his career on the ice bled into his personal life too. Although, he doesn’t mind that it does. Sunghoon values any form of structure because it makes him feel like he has a purpose and that there’s something to be accomplished at the end of the day. 

Most times, Sunghoon’s feels like people judge him for his regimen and can’t fathom why he appreciates control so much. They tell him to let loose and enjoy his time away from his career. People always think he simply doesn’t know how to have fun because he’s set in his ways and won’t let other people coax him into doing something he’s not comfortable with. But not you. Sunghoon has never felt like you‘ve judged how he chooses to live his life. 

Before he knew it, a year had passed and he started to call you one of his best friends. The friendship was gradual. Sunghoon didn’t have many close female friends in the way he does with Heeseung, Jay, and Jake. You’re the first person since ending his career who hasn’t tried to pry into the why. In fact, Sunghoon enjoys that you didn’t bring it up. 

(You did, in the form of cooing over his younger self skating in competitions for the first time or roasting all of the outfits he had to wear. But somehow, all of your jabs made him feel happier than when people complimented his performance.)

Eventually, being around you felt too right. He loved it when you took naps on his bed and felt comfortable raiding your kitchen pantry without permission. Sunghoon could leave you in his apartment without him being in it and feel at ease. In fact, he started to look forward to coming home to you. All it took was seeing you wear his hoodie because you got too cold and forgot your jacket, to make him drop his bag by the front door and ask you to be his girlfriend. He hasn’t regretted anything with you since. 

The weather is cold outside since it’s approaching the middle of autumn. You let your car warm up and blast the heat all the way up while adjusting your defrosting settings before heading to the bar to pick up Sunghoon. You sift through your playlists and settle on soft indie melodies before you drive away from the curb. 

You’ve never seen Sunghoon get drunk to the point of needing extra help. Usually, you’re the one who goes a little too hard whenever Heeseung brings out the alcohol or if Jake offers an edible or two. Sunghoon likes to sit back and stay sober (or sober up by the end of the night) when he notices you having too much fun. He doesn’t mind, though. Sunghoon likes taking care of you because sometimes it gives him purpose. You’ve never understood that sentiment but to each their own. 

The only times you’ve seen him completely wasted are usually when you’re equally as gone, like on your first road trip as a couple. The five of you rented a lakehouse a few hours from Seoul and spent an entire weekend basking under the hot sun and chose to forget about university stress before finals would inevitably kick everyone’s ass. All five of you were cross-faded (but not without Jay and Sunghoon both prepping water bottles and snacks for when the munchies would hit prior to taking anything). You watched Sunghoon relax to the point where he was much quieter than he normally was and when you asked if he was doing alright, he looked you in the eye and told you he loved you for the first time. 

I always have, I think, he said as he brought your hand to his chest. You might not believe me because neither of us are sober but I swear I’ll tell you in the morning. 

Sunghoon gets affectionate when he’s drunk or high, often to the point of asking for reassurance. The rational side of his brain is temporarily disfigured. You don’t mind being there to tell him that he’s the love of your life and you’d never go anywhere when he gets like this. Although, you’re usually just as gone and gush all of your hidden emotionally-charged feelings, which pair well with Sunghoon’s need for validation sometimes. 

Your friends love your relationship. They don’t think it’s too much or too little, going so far as to take photos of the two of you when you aren’t looking. Some are funny like the pictures of you sleeping on his chest with drool pooling out of your mouth. Others are romantic and whimsical, like the pictures of Sunghoon looking at you like you’re the sunshine to his moonlight. They can’t get enough of you two. Your friends love knowing people they care about are deeply in love with one another and your relationship is somewhat of a reminder that true romance does exist. 

Thinking about this makes your heart swell as you park your car and tuck your keys inside your purse. The bouncer checks your ID and lets you inside the bar, and you already spot Jay off to the side. 

“Thanks for coming,” he says as he gives you a loose hug. “And sorry for waking you up.” 

You wave him off. “It’s fine. I’ve probably woken you up for worse.” 

“Yeah, like the time you and Jake wanted ramen at 3am and wouldn’t stop calling me because both of you got a little too high.” 

“Can you blame us?! You were like, two blocks away.” 

“Yeah, but did you need to eat with me?” 

“Duh. You’re like, the best person to eat a late night dinner with.” 

The two of you laugh as he leads you to the group. You see Sunghoon slumped over the table with his head in his arms and the rest of your friend group tries really hard not to seem too excited when they see you standing next to Jay. 

“Fucking finally.” Heeseung stands and gives you a quick side hug before Jake does the same. “Love you guys and all but he started to become unbearable when he kept showing us photos of you.”

Jake snorts. “Poor guy was almost about to cry.” That makes your heart soft. 

“He looks so cute,” you coo, tilting your head to savor this moment. It’s abnormal for you to be the sober one but you’re starting to understand why Sunghoon doesn’t mind taking care of you when you’re like this. 

Jay comes to stand next to you. “He’s not cute when he drank half his weight in alcohol and wouldn’t shut up about how pretty your hair is.” 

“What, do you don’t think my hair’s pretty?” The messy, unbrushed hair is enough to make the guys laugh. 

“Nah seriously, thanks for coming,” says Jake. “We felt bad calling you but he refuses to get out of his seat.” 

“It’s fine.” You wave him off and step closer to your boyfriend, who still hasn’t moved from his position. 

“Do your thing and we’ll be here if you need help bringing him to the car.” Heeseung smiles gratefully at you. 

Even the back of Sunghoon’s head is unfairly gorgeous. His hair always looks nice, although you credit that to his younger sister introducing him to a world of hair care products during his skating years. It feels soft to the touch as you stroke the back of his head until Sunghoon slowly comes to. You feel his body start to stir.

“Baby,” you say quietly, bending down until you’re next to him. “Wake up for me.” 

“Hm?” Sunghoon mumbles from his arms. He feels the sensation of your fingers carding through his hair and pulls himself from the table, wiping the spit from the corner of his mouth before realizing you’re standing next to him. “Y/N?”

“I’m right here.” 

He pulls his head up until he’s sitting upright in the booth, squinting up at you to adjust to the bar lights that disappeared when he closed his eyes. Your boyfriend looks so innocent like this. He looks at you with a wide, round gaze as if you’d appeared out of thin air and he’s trying his hardest to figure out how you’re standing in front of him. 

“Is it really you?” Sunghoon asks in a quiet voice. His tone makes your heart flutter and you reach your arms out until you’re cupping his jaw and rubbing the pads of your thumbs over his cheeks. Sunghoon melts into your touch and you feel his body start to relax. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, bug. Did you have fun tonight?”

He nods in your hands, “Mhm. Just tired now.”

“Jay said you were asking for me.” 

“I always ask for you.” Your cheeks heat up and you try to ignore the snickers from behind you. 

“Why don’t we go back to my place, yeah? You can sleep in my bed instead of this bar.” 

“Can we? I love the guys but I just missed you.”

“Simp,” Heeseung whispers before coughing into his fist. 

Sunghoon stands from the booth once you’ve taken a step back to give him the space to move. He’s surprisingly able to stand on his own and clutches onto his jacket as he makes his way to the door. 

“Sorry guys,” he mutters to the guys. 

“Yah, it’s fine,” Jay says as he waves Sunghoon off. 

“Get home safe,” Heeseung says as he opens the door for the two of you. Sunghoon waves behind him until you guide him to the car. 

“Can you put your jacket on for me?” You catch it in your hands after he nearly let them fall from his grasp. 

“Shit, sorry.” You watch Sunghoon put on one arm and then the other. He looks so childlike in this moment as he concentrates his hardest to put the jacket on without stumbling. 

It reminds you that he doesn’t show you this side of him often. Sunghoon, ever the poised individual who likes to know what’s ahead of him, has let his inhibitions down. Seeing his figure slowly push his body through the warm fabric has you biting back a smile. 

“Need help?”

Sunghoon looks down at his hands that are trying to zip his jacket up to no avail. He feels like his hands are too big and the zipper is too small. “Please.”

Your steady fingers cover Sunghoon’s and take over the tedious task. The metal is warm from his fingertips. You can feel him looking down at you and you temporarily fumble with the zipper, which makes him laugh.

“Silly,” he mutters. “Ah, fuck. I don’t know if I can open the door.”

You roll your eyes and open it for him. “You’re funny.” 

He slides into the seat as gracefully as he can without hitting his head on the roof. Sunghoon struggles, but manages to buckle himself in and grins up at you when he hears the click of the buckle. When you look down on him, the lamp post from above casts a soft glow on his face. He looks so youthful at this moment. Sunghoon has let go of his thoughts and couldn’t think about anything but the present moment even if he tried. 

He waits for you and mumbles about how cold it is when you turn the engine on. The warm air starts to uplift his spirits and he looks at you with us head pressed to the headrest.

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

“What?” you ask. “Why?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Usually I’m the one taking care of you.”

“You don’t always have to be brave, you know.” 

Sunghoon doesn’t say anything. He reaches out to envelope your hand in his and squeezes it until he’s holding it loosely in the quiet of the evening.

“I love you.” 

Your heart blooms. “I love you right back.” He seems satisfied with your response and lets go of your hand so that you can drive back to your apartment. 

When you park on the curb, Sunghoon’s sober enough to unbuckle his seatbelt and wait for you to turn the engine off before opening his door carefully. He steps outside and leans back on the car door until you walk around the hood of the vehicle and grabs your hands to pull you into him. 

You feel his lips on your before you register what’s happening. He tastes faintly of pineapple soju and beer, and his mouth is warm. Despite his inebriated state, Sunghoon’s able to hold you between his hands as he moves to place them on your hips to balance your body after you’ve stumbled into him. 

The kiss itself is slow. In fact, it feels as though Sunghoon has slowed time around so that the two of you could enjoy the late night kiss uninterrupted. You can barely hear anything besides the ringing in your ears after being caught by surprise due to your boyfriend’s abrupt movements. Your mouths move in slow tandem and Sunghoon nearly pushes his tongue inside your mouth before pulling away to rest his forehead against your own.

“My baby,” he whispers against your lips before giving you another quick peck. 

“You are so cute.” You blurt out this confession like you’re still pining after him. “Let’s go inside, yeah?” 

The apartment is warm compared to the environment outside and Sunghoon slips off his shoes in favor of wearing his designated slippers. He doesn’t let go of your hand the entire time he does so, letting you pull him into the hallway until the two of you reach your bedroom. The hardwood floors feel better than the uneven pavement from outside.

He loves it here. It’s a sanctuary away from his apartment with the friends he will probably invite to his wedding. But something about your green comforter and hand-painted artwork adorning your walls makes Sunghoon feel like he would live by your side for the rest of his life. The scent of your room–warm peaches and vanilla–tugs at his heart strings. This is where he belongs. 

Likewise, you love seeing Sunghoon behave like this. It’s not commonplace for him to let people take care of him in the way you are now. He’s used to people looking out for his career and best interest but he struggles with allowing others to handle him with such care. After a decade of enduring harsh criticism and physical endurance, Sunghoon struggles to relax and allow others to take the reins. It’s partially why he loves taking care of you. Being able to provide that kind of love and support makes him feel wanted and needed, even if you tell him he’s more than enough a thousand times over. 

You leave him in your room to change his clothes taken from his designated drawer while you prepare skincare and the works. You hear him shuffle outside and fall onto the bed once, prompting you to hold your laughter in as you wash your hands and pull out hair clips for him to use. 

“I can’t lie,” Sunghoon says as you emerge from the bathroom to see him in a big t-shirt and pajama bottoms, “I’m really looking forward to you doing my skincare.” 

You snicker and pull your desk chair into the bathroom. “Now you know exactly how I feel every time I beg you to do mine when I’m drunk. Sit and close your eyes, please.” 

He follows your instructions and leans his back against the furniture. Sunghoon doesn’t fuss when you pin his hair back until it’s secure and allows you to make him feel pampered in a way he typically wouldn’t. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” 

Sunghoon hums. “Yeah, I did. The guys picked me up from my place and we had lunch at that seafood spot we’ve been meaning to try.” 

“Was it any good?”

“So good.” He licks his lips. “God, I’m still thinking about that shellfish soup. We ordered enough food to feed a village but it was so worth it. I wanna go with you.” 

“We can go wherever you want.” He smiles at your soft tone. 

“We also went to the beach and met some guys at the skate park by the highway. They were pretty nice and let us use their boards for a little. Heeseung got along with them the best, I think.”

“Heeseung makes friends with everybody.”

“He says he’s not social but that’s a lie.” Sunghoon twitches his nose when he feels a damp washcloth on his face. “We went to the bar afterwards and split it by round. I got the first and honestly, I don’t remember much after that.” 

“How are you feeling now, though?” you ask as you finish patting his skin dry. “Do you still feel dizzy?” Sunghoon opens his eyes and watches you apply a serum before dabbing it all over his face. 

“Not as much as before. I think I’m just tired.”

“And clingy, apparently.” 

Sunghoon smacks the back of your thighs. “Shut up. You love it.” You silence him by kissing his nose. 

While he brushes his teeth, you situate yourself underneath your plush covers and allow the weight of the blanket to fall on top of you. The sweet promise of a good night’s rest feels imminent, especially when you see your boyfriend emerge from the bathroom. He turns off the light and walks towards the empty side of the bed before he’s slipping himself beside you. 

Sunghoon’s an equal opportunist when it comes to sleeping positions. He loves it the most when your head is on his chest and when your arms are tangled in one another because he likes knowing that the two of you yearn for each other equally. But when he gets like this, Sunghoon takes initiative to maneuver himself until half of his chest and head are on top of you. He situates his arm around your waist and pulls himself closer to your body until a deep, satisfied sigh comes from the back of his throat. 

He hums in appreciation when your fingers begin to massage his scalp. Sunghoon’s hair is soft and silky and on most days, you’re the only person who gets to touch it. The slowness of your movements paired with the soft kiss you place on his temple makes his eyelids feel heavy. 

“Sorry you had to come pick me up,” Sunghoon mumbles against you. “I know we agreed to give each other some space this weekend.” 

“You should know by now that I’d do anything for you.” He feels you kiss the crown of his head. “Plus, we both know you’d do the same for me.” 

Sunghoon nods. “I would. You’re my girlfriend. Duh.” His sleepy nonsense makes you laugh. 

“You can go back to hanging out with the guys tomorrow if you want.” He shakes his head. 

“I want to get breakfast with you.” Sunghoon finds your free hand and presses a sleepy kiss to the back of it. 

“Whatever you want. We can get breakfast.” 

“If we wake up early enough.” 

You laugh again. “Yes, if we wake up early enough.” 

Sunghoon mumbles a few incoherent words that you can’t quite make out because of your own tiredness. When your own eyes start to droop, Sunghoon feels your fingers start to falter and looks up at you to see you’ve fallen fast asleep. 

He kisses the underside of your chin and falls asleep too.

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! x

---

Fuck, i think i love you

*pairing: popular bad boy Niki x popular good Girl

*trope: Childhood Frenemies

*synopsis: You and Niki were raised together always in harmony with the love of your mothers as well as best friends but they did not know that you hated each other to death. Niki was the opposite of you and always made you angry and teased you instead in the eyes of Niki you were too perfect because you emanated that aura as a good girl but you know, from hatred can arise other feelings...

*tags: Lots of tension, fluffy, love to tease each other, fake hate because they like each other, jealousy, possession, manipulation, loss of virginity by the female protagonist, unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl) kisses, pacifiers, masturbation, fingering (f. receives) pet names (princess, good girl) statement?

6.9k (🤍)

(English is not my native language)

You and Niki have never been able to stand each other. You were the typical good girl: studious, a lover of books, and a fan of quiet Netflix nights, or you’d go out with your close friends to some fancy spot for a drink. He was the classic bad boy: popular, always surrounded by friends, dyeing his hair to be “alternative,” and getting that eyebrow piercing to boost his bad boy vibes even more, with an intense passion for basketball and parties. Two opposites destined never to meet… or at least, that’s what you both thought.

Too bad your mothers have been best friends forever. This meant birthdays, holidays, and ceremonies spent together, forcing you to tolerate each other since you were little. But as you both grew up, something changed.

You watched Niki become increasingly handsome, taller, and incredibly popular. And even though you kept denying it, you couldn’t help but notice. On the other hand, Niki couldn’t ignore the fact that, beneath that innocent exterior, you intrigued him in a way no other girl ever had. You didn’t give him the time of day, treated him with indifference, yet... he couldn’t stop thinking about what lay beneath that perfect facade.

You and Niki lived next door to each other, with a large tree standing between your rooms as the only boundary. From Niki’s room, the sounds of underground music constantly echoed, with deep bass and scratchy guitars, while from your room, pop songs and love ballads, like those of Taylor Swift, reverberated. Two completely different worlds, yet always so close.

That evening, you were busy trying on dozens of outfits, speaking loudly on the phone with your best friend, and squealing with excitement. Niki, lying on his bed with his headphones on, let out an exasperated sigh. Usually, he was the noisy one, disturbing the neighborhood’s peace with his music, but this time, you were the source of the chaos. Intrigued, he got up and leaned out of the window to peek into your room.

He saw you wearing a skirt and a tight sweater from some expensive brand that clung perfectly to your body. The skirt was too short for his taste, definitely not something suited for the "good girl" he knew. Your wavy hair cascaded softly over your shoulders, reflecting the warm light of the room. Even from a distance, he could imagine their sweet scent, probably of honey and vanilla, which tormented him every time you walked by. For some reason, that detail bothered him. Where the hell did you think you were going dressed like that?

With a mischievous grin, he picked up a small stone from one of the many piles scattered around his room. Throwing it at your window, he managed to grab your attention. You spun around in surprise, and when your eyes met, Niki lost his confidence for a moment. You were beautiful. You had never been so attractive in his eyes, and it annoyed him.

Not wanting to appear flustered, he quickly regained his composure and gave you a teasing whistle, instantly returning to his usual bold and playful self.

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that, princess?”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “What do you care, Nishimura? Weren’t you the one who said you couldn’t care less about my business?”

He smiled, leaning casually against the window sill. “True, but when I see you dressed like that, I start to wonder if you want me to care.”

You blushed slightly, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing you embarrassed. "I repeat, it’s none of your business."

Niki’s smirk widened. "It is. Our parents are away, and you're younger than me. They left me 'in charge,' or at least that's what your mom said."

You pressed your lips together, irritated. "By one month, Niki."

"Still younger." His voice was light, almost amused, but his dark eyes were still fixed on you.

You turned your gaze away, suddenly feeling a bit strange. It was rare for you to be the one who felt embarrassed; you were usually far too confident, maybe even too much for Niki’s taste.

"I have to go out." Your voice was softer than usual.

Niki narrowed his eyes, studying you. "Oh. With your friends?"

You shook your head. And something in him clicked. A stab of annoyance. He straightened up, studying you more closely. "With who then?"

You ran a hand through your hair, lowering your gaze. "With someone."

Niki felt his patience slipping through his fingers. "And who exactly is this someone?"

You hesitated for a second, then murmured a name. A name that meant absolutely nothing to him.

"He’s in the physics department... he’s in class with Jake."

Niki let out a quiet sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. A damn loser.

The only one who wasn’t a complete nerd in that department was Jake, one of his best friends. But the rest? Losers. Period.

He tilted his head slightly, letting his gaze slide over you, over that skirt that—he repeated to himself—was too short and revealed your beautiful thighs. "And did he ask you out?"

You nodded while spraying your usual sweet honey and vanilla perfume, which drifted into Niki’s room.

Niki pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, trying to ignore the growing irritation. Why the hell was this bothering him so much?

"And you said yes?"

Another hesitation, then a small nod of your head. Niki ran a hand through his hair and smirked, though he wasn’t amused at all. "I hope for his sake he knows what he’s doing," he muttered under his breath.

You looked at him, slightly confused. "What does that mean?"

He shrugged. "Nothing, princess. Have fun."

But as you turned to leave, he had already made up his mind about what to do. He didn’t like that guy. And he still hadn’t figured out if it was because he was a loser... or because he wasn’t Niki.

Niki was already lying on his bed, earbuds in his ears and his phone in hand, when he decided to text Jake. Who the hell was that guy who asked you out?

— Hey, do you know the guy Y/n is supposed to go out with?

Jake replied within seconds.

— Yeah, he’s a good guy. We have a few classes together, and he’s solid and does swimming with the university team. Why?

Niki rubbed his face, irritated for no reason. A good guy? A nerd? And a swimmer? That wasn’t okay with him at all.

You had always been his. Always.

Not in the sense that you were his girlfriend—not yet, at least—but he had always kept an eye on you, teased you, made you mad. He was the one who had watched you grow, the one who took care of you when your parents fought, the one who helped you climb over the tree to get to his room. He was the one who had helped you as a child, countless times, to disinfect your knees full of dirt and rocks. He was the one who knew every one of your insecurities and the one who loved watching you become stronger and more determined. He was the one who always waited for you to come home safe and sound after school, the one who knew exactly what you liked and what you hated.

And now? Now, it seemed like a bunch of guys were constantly around you.

Niki stood up, pushing the curtain aside with two fingers. And that’s when he saw you.

You were walking down the garden steps.

Your too-short skirt swayed slightly as you walked. Your shiny hair fell softly over your shoulders, and the streetlight made your delicate profile stand out.

But you weren’t alone; a guy he had never seen before was waiting near his car. Niki clenched his jaw. No, he didn’t like this. Not one bit.

He leaned against the glass, watching every one of your movements with his gaze. He would wait. Because you could go out with every guy in the world… but the only one who truly knew what you liked, what you didn’t like, and what drove you crazy was him.

And sooner or later, you’d figure it out too.

The night air was cool, but Niki was still warm, sweat slowly trickling down his skin as he dribbled on the basketball court behind the house. The rhythmic sound of the ball against the asphalt helped him release the tension. Tension he didn’t want to admit having.

But when he heard the sound of an engine approaching, his dribbling slowed down. His eyes immediately snapped to the road, watching the car stop in front of your house.

Then he saw you get out of the car with grace, your skirt swaying slightly with the wind, and that loser had gotten out too, leaning lightly on the hood of the car. But Niki didn’t focus on that. No, he noticed immediately the way your eyes landed on him.

Not on the guy next to you. On him. You slightly lowered your gaze, and even in the shadows, Niki noticed the faint blush warming your cheeks, and a smirk touched his lips.

He had waited for you, of course. You turned to the guy with whom you’d spent a wonderful evening wandering the streets of Seoul, eating street food, and then taking a walk along the banks of the Han River. You gave him a light kiss on the cheek, and with a faint smile, you said, “I have to go.”

The guy looked disappointed, wanting to spend more time with you, but he nodded, knowing you’d have class early the next morning. “I’d love to see you again.”

You nodded softly, watching him wave goodbye from the car as he drove off, but your mind was already elsewhere. Already on him.

You turned and began walking along the edge of the basketball court to reach your house. Niki watched you, his muscles relaxed but his gaze focused, and then, without thinking twice, he bounced the ball hard towards you, stopping it at your feet.

You looked at it for a moment, then bent down to pick it up to throw it back to him. But before you could do that, he moved quickly, standing right in front of you in an instant, too close, with an amused grin, watching you try not to look away from his muscular chest, covered only by a basketball tank top that highlighted all his well-defined muscles. "So, princess... how was the date?"

You lifted your gaze to him, trying to keep a neutral expression. "It went well."

Niki didn’t move, continuing to dribble the ball slowly between his hands. "Oh yeah? What did you do?"

You sighed. Why did he always have to stick his nose into everything you did?

"We walked through the streets of downtown Seoul, tried a couple of street foods, then we went for a walk by the river and talked the whole time."

He nodded as if he were analyzing every word you said. "And then?"

"And then he walked me home safely, as you can see."

Niki stopped dribbling the ball. "Did he kiss you? Did he touch you?"

The question caught you off guard, but instead of getting indignant, you couldn’t help but laugh. "What kind of questions are those, Nishimura?"

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for your answer.

You crossed your arms and lifted your chin, trying to look more confident than you were. "Of course, he kissed me. It was a date between two people!"

But Niki knew you too well, maybe even too well for your liking.

When you lied, you couldn’t hold someone’s gaze for more than a few seconds. And that’s exactly what you were doing now, and a smirk touched his lips as he took a step forward. Just one step, and his height completely towered over you. To his eyes, you were so small, so fragile, yet… so stubborn.

"Liars."

You swallowed, crossing your arms to create some distance between you and him. "We gave each other a peck. It still counts as a kiss."

Niki tilted his head slightly and started laughing, his gaze dark and intense. But what struck you was the way his fingers brushed against your side, almost absentmindedly, as if you had always belonged to him. He slowly leaned toward you, until his warm breath brushed your skin.

"A peck is not a real kiss." His voice was low, almost a whisper, and you felt your breath catch for a second, your heart racing in your chest.

"The only real kiss you've ever given to anyone was with me."

Then he asked you a question. The one that froze your blood in your veins and made your face burn at the same time.

"Do you remember it?"

You shook your head, and he got even closer, telling you that you weren’t good at lying. You could lie to others, but not to him. You told him it had been a long time ago and that you hadn’t thought about it (a lie because every day you thought about how he had kissed you last summer in that exact spot on the basketball court), and Niki stroked your cheek with a cheeky smile.

"Are you afraid of kissing someone and finding out that only I can make you shiver and drive you crazy?" he whispered provocatively, his warm breath against your skin.

Your breath caught for a moment. Because it was true, but you’d never admit or show him.

You clenched your fists, trying to control yourself. "You think too highly of yourself, Nishimura." You lifted your chin defiantly. "Next time I’ll kiss that guy, and he’ll do it better than you."

Niki's eyes darkened, but you kept going, challenging him. "And just so you know, that time, I didn’t feel anything."

You forced yourself to look him straight in the eyes, not looking away. Not letting him know you were lying, but the problem was, he already knew.

Niki moved even closer to you, his warm breath grazing your face. His eyes were locked onto yours, intense, dark, almost hypnotic. He cupped your face in his hands, his thumb gently caressing your cheek, and without giving you time to think, his lips pressed against yours.

The kiss was a mixture of sweetness and possession. His lips moved slowly at first as if savoring each second, but then it deepened, becoming more intense. His hands slid down your neck, brushing you with a gentleness that contrasted with the firmness of his kiss. You rose onto your toes, your hands gripping his shoulders, eager to feel more, to pull him as close as possible.

His hands slid from your waist down your back before pulling you slightly closer. Then, one of his hands moved to your ass, pressing you against him, and your breasts rested against his chest. You let out a small moan at the contact of his body so close to yours. His teeth grazed your lower lip, teasingly, and you parted your lips slightly in protest—just enough for him to slide his tongue against yours. You felt him smile.

Your heart was pounding wildly, your knees slightly buckling, but Niki held you up, his fingers gripping your waist firmly. When he finally pulled away, that familiar arrogant smirk appeared on his still-wet lips.

“Well, let’s see if you don’t remember it now… and, more importantly, what you felt,” he said in a bold, provocative tone.

You couldn’t respond—you were still dazed from the kiss. Your heartbeat was so loud you were sure he could hear it. Before you could even think of a comeback, Niki turned around and walked into the house, leaving you there—breathless and with trembling legs.

You ran to your room, your face burning, and slammed your windows shut. You didn’t want to see him again, not after what had just happened. Throwing yourself onto your bed, your heart still racing, your mind was a complete mess. You lifted a hand, brushing your fingers over your lips, replaying that kiss in your head. So intense. So overwhelming. Damn it, he was driving you insane. How was it possible? Out of all the guys in the world… why him?

At university, you did everything you could to keep your distance from Niki, avoiding being alone with him. Every time you saw him in the hallways or class, you did your best to avoid his gaze. But somehow, he always seemed to find you with his eyes, as if he knew exactly where you were at all times. It didn’t make sense, yet that shiver down your spine, whenever you caught him staring, was undeniable.

That evening, your mothers were overjoyed because Niki had won the basketball championship. To celebrate, they had given him the house to throw a party. Initially, you had no intention of going, but your mom insisted, and your friends eventually convinced you to come along.

So, in the end, you agreed—but with a little revenge of your own: you would bring the guy you had been casually dating. It wasn’t anything serious, but it was the perfect opportunity to show Niki that his presence did not affect you.

You arrived at the party with your "date," laughing with your friends, trying to seem as carefree as possible. But the moment you stepped into Niki’s house, his eyes landed on you instantly. He studied you closely, his gaze sharp, before shifting his attention to the guy beside you.

And just like that, his expression changed.

For a brief second, his usual smug smile disappeared—only to be replaced by a playful smirk. But his eyes? His eyes told a different story.

He wasn’t taking this well. Not at all.

The house was packed, music blasting through the walls, yet the only thing you felt was the weight of his stare on you. You told yourself it didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. And yet, a shiver ran down your spine when you saw him exchange a few words with his friends before turning his gaze back to you—like he was already planning something.

Later, you found yourself with your friends and Niki’s group, watching him play beer pong. He was good. Obviously.

You enjoyed watching them, laughing along with the others. But after a while, you felt the need to step away.

"I'm going to the bathroom," you told your friends and the guy you had come with.

There were two bathrooms in Niki’s house—one downstairs, but it was packed with people. Instinctively, you went upstairs to the one in his room.

You had been in his room countless times as kids, but it had been a while since the last time. Looking around, your eyes landed on something on his desk—a jar full of small pebbles. The same ones he used to throw at your window to distract you while you were studying, to annoy you while you were reading, or when you were getting ready. A small smile tugged at your lips, and you let out a chuckle.

"What a control freak."

You went into the bathroom but when you stepped out… Niki was there, lying on his bed, watching you walk out of his bathroom.

Your heart jumped into your throat, and instinctively, you brought a hand to your chest. "Are you insane?! You scared the hell out of me, you idiot!"

He didn’t move. He didn’t stop looking at you. A lazy smirk framed his lips as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Did you enjoy yourself in there? Need anything? Or did you just come to snoop around my room, princess?"

"I have no interest in snooping through your room." You shoved your hands into the pockets of your denim skirt, trying to appear indifferent. "I’ve been here plenty of times, remember?" You tried to leave, but the door wouldn’t open, you froze. It was locked.

You rolled your eyes—why, why hadn’t you just waited in line for the main bathroom?

Slowly, you turned back to face him, crossing your arms. "Why is it locked?" you asked, your voice a mix of annoyance and curiosity.

Niki watched you for a moment before sitting up on the edge of his bed.

"Why did you bring that loser with you?"

You burst out laughing. "Wait… are you jealous?"

He tilted his head slightly, his dark gaze locked onto you.

"And if I was?" Your smile faltered for just a second. Your heart pounded.

Niki stood up from the bed, moving at an exasperatingly slow pace, and damn—he was even taller now. Even more muscular. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself trapped between him and the door.

It was a game. Just like always. He pushed, and you pushed back. Neither of you wanted to back down. But this time, the air felt different.

Heavy. Electric. Niki looked down at you, amusement flickering in his gaze. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

"Do you expect me to believe you like him?"

You lifted your chin, refusing to give him the satisfaction. "Better him than someone who thinks he’s a god just because he can play basketball."

He let out a low chuckle, leaning down just enough for his breath to brush against your skin.

"You like provoking me, huh?"

"And you like being provoked." You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to compose yourself, but Niki just laughed softly, shaking his head.

"You’re so small." His eyes roamed over you, shining with amusement. "And damn beautiful when you’re angry."

You rolled your eyes, determined not to fall for his words.

"I’m not falling for it, Nishimura."

He braced a hand against the door, leaning even closer.

"You already did. Twice." His smirk was confident. Cocky. "Tell me—who's the only one that’s ever kissed you? Only me. Your whole life."

Your jaw clenched, hating that it was true. Hating even more that he knew it.

"The guy I came with kissed me too," you said, lifting your chin in defiance. His eyebrows raised for a second. Then, he laughed.

"That loser?" He shook his head, clearly amused. "You gave him a peck on the lips, Y/n. That wasn’t a real kiss."

He moved in closer, so close his lips were just a breath away from yours.

"And I bet you didn’t feel anything. I bet he doesn’t drive you crazy the way I do. I bet he knows nothing about you. And I bet the only reason you brought him here was to mess with me—to get under my skin."

You opened your mouth to argue, but you didn’t get the chance.

Without a second thought—without giving you a chance to escape—he cupped your face in his hands and crashed his lips onto yours.

His kiss was possessive. Confident. A kiss that told you, without words, that you were his. That no one else could have you.

And you… you didn’t stop him. Your breath came in ragged gasps as your arms instinctively wrapped around his body, your fingers gripping his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you grounded.

He was too much. Too close. Too intense. And yet… you didn’t want to pull away.

A low groan escaped from his lips as he felt you hold him tighter, and his grip on your face became stronger. "You’re driving me crazy." His voice was husky, loaded with something that made your back shiver. " Since you kissed me this summer for a fucking bet."

You were breathless when his lips left yours and fell down your neck. Her mouth was hot, and pushy and a shiver ran through your body when you felt your tongue touch your skin before he sucked it slightly, leaving you breathless. He wanted to hear you say what he already knew.

"Tell me it’s the same for you." His voice was a whisper against your skin. "Tell me you don’t think of anything else, or I’ll stop."

But he didn’t stop. You clenched your teeth, trying to fight that overwhelming feeling but then you felt him sucking your neck.

A groan escaped from your lips before you could stop it, and without even thinking about it, you admitted it.

"The same goes for me."

A low growl vibrated in his chest. "I knew it." And without losing a moment, he lifted you from the ground and a small cry escaped you as you were in the air, your legs squeezing around his waist by instinct, and within seconds you were in his bed, on his lap.

His hands were everywhere and his mouth on your neck became more voracious, more hungry. As if he never had enough.

"Damn you, princess."

Niki kept kissing you, his warm and hungry lips moving along your neck, slowly descending to the collarbones. His touch sent shivers down your back, his light bite made your breath tremble.

"Niki..." you groaned, feeling too sensitive to his attentions.

He laughed softly, his warm breath against your skin. "You’re so responsive, baby."

His big hands slipped under your top, the soft fabric that lifted as his fingertips caressed your skin. He paused for a moment, looking into your eyes, and the heart beating like a madman-yearbook.

A satisfied grin painted on his lips. "Raise your arms."

You did it without thinking about it, and he slowly pulled off your top, leaving you in a bra before him.

"Good girl, good girl."

The phrase struck you more than you wanted to admit, and before you could say anything, Niki lowered his head and left a kiss on your forehead.

A sweet gesture. So different from how he had always been with you yet when he looked down and saw your pink and blue bra, delicate, perfectly good girl mischievous smirk curled his lips.

"Typical of you." He laughed softly, shaking his head. "So innocent even in the details, huh?"

His fingers touched the light lace, teasing you without haste, playing with you, provoking you as always.

"You already have buds so hard." His voice went down, husky. "I wonder what they would be like under my tongue..."

A shiver ran through your back, but you weren’t the only one playing.

With a daring smile, you grabbed the edge of his sweatshirt and pulled it off, even taking off his shirt in one gesture.

And, damn it. His abs were sculpted. His V-line was so defined that it looked like drawn.

Hours and hours spent in the gym and on the basketball field had done their job and you bit your lip, fingers touching his chest without shame. "You spend more time training than studying, huh?" you teased, your provocative tone.

Niki raised an eyebrow, a funny flash in her dark eyes. "It’s obviously worth it since you can’t stop looking at me."

You laughed and lowered yourself slightly, your lips touching the warm skin of his neck. You felt Niki hold his breath for a second, before letting slip a little sound of pleasure.

You smiled at each other. You had found its weak point and there was no longer any hesitation on your part. You sucked it gently, letting your tongue caress that precise spot before just nibbling.

"Damnation, Y/N." His voice was husky, charged with something that made your back shiver.

He took you by the chin, forcing you to look at it. "I never would have expected that from you."

You raised an eyebrow, enjoy it. "If you know me from birth doesn’t mean you know everything about me."

He tilted his head slightly and laughed, slid his fingers down your back, the light but possessive touch. "Then I want to find out your every secret."

Your hands trembled slightly as you caressed his abs. Damn, it was perfect and you bit your lip, then, without thinking too much, you pushed it slightly.

Niki dropped backward, leaning on her elbows, looking down at you with a mix of curiosity and fun. " Interesting."

You stooped down again, your lips leaving a kiss trail along his chest, then even lower, touching the sculpted abs that moved slightly under your touch.

As your gaze lowered again, you noticed a thin line of hair running from the navel down to the pants.

Your breath stopped for a moment, and Niki noticed it immediately.

"Did you get stuck, princess?" His voice was a mixture of teasing and sweetness.

The blush went up to your cheeks, but before he could say anything else, you looked into his eyes and decided to give him back the game.

"Perhaps." You smiled, bowing your head. "But maybe not."

Niki ran his tongue over his lips, his eyes darkening more and more. "Mmh, then let’s see how far you’ll go."

You continued that torture of kisses from the navel to the edge of his pants. You felt his abs twitch slightly under your touch, while his breathing became slower and more controlled.

"You can take them off if you want."

His voice was low, loaded with something that made you warm up to your cheeks and for a moment you performed, then you reached out your hands and with an uncertain movement pulled the pants off.

He was the classic boy who wore Supreme boxers, black and essential. You didn’t know why, but that thing hit you and Niki noticed it immediately.

"Did you get stuck again, princess?" You looked at him, biting the inside of your cheek. He knew very well that you had never done anything like this.

For a moment, his smirk softened, and leaned towards you, lifting your chin slightly with two fingers. "Lie down."

You didn’t perform. He was the only person in the world you couldn’t say no to.

You lay down on his bed, your heart beating like crazy. Niki stood over you, leaning on an elbow to look at you better.

With a slow gesture, he swiped his fingers down your thigh until he unbuttoned the button on your denim skirt, slid it off, and stopped. He whistled quietly and only then you realized that you were wearing a matching blue lace outfit.

Your instinct was to close your legs, but Niki wouldn’t let you.

He laid a hand on your thigh, stopping you. His touch was light, but at the same time authoritative.

"For whom did you wear it?" he asked, his eyes glistening with amusement. You felt yourself warm up to your ears. You tried to find a quick answer.

"I... only have matching outfits." He raised an eyebrow. "Do you collect them?"

You looked away, embarrassed, and whistled softly to deflect the question and Niki laughed, a low, deep sound. A sound that made your back shiver.

He ran his tongue over his lips, then slowly slid a finger along the lace edge of your panties and leaned down near your ear, his breath touching your skin.

"You’re so innocent." His voice was a whisper, a promise. "And that’s why I have an insane desire to ruin you."

Niki bowed slightly to you, his gaze full of curiosity and desire. His fingers touched the thin fabric of your panties and a shiver ran down your back. The feeling was strangely new, different from the lonely intimacy you were used to.

"Tell me, have you ever touched yourself?" His voice was low, intriguing.

You looked down in embarrassment but replied with a slight nod.

"And how do you do it?" he insisted, with a smirk on his lips. Swallows, cheeks burning. "Usually when I read... or sometimes I look at myself..."

Niki laughed softly, amused by your hesitation. "Watching you? Do you mean watching porn?"

You covered your face with your hands, trying to hide the embarrassment. "S-yes..." you admitted, almost in a whisper.

He tilted his head to one side, looking at you with bright eyes. "And did you touch yourself as you looked at them?"

You annule weakly, feeling the heart pounding in your chest.

"Have you ever come?" His voice became lower, more persuasive.

You shook your head, unable to lie and a smug smile bowed his lips. "Then you are not as innocent as everyone thinks."

With a firm tug, he took off your panties, leaving you exposed to his watchful eye. He whistled softly as if to underline his admiration.

"Look here... You’re already wet. Just for me, right?"

His statement made you shiver, and before you could answer, you felt the light touch of his fingers on your clitoris. A choked moan escaped from your lips as he drew small circles slow and provocative.

"Fingers or tongue?" he asked with a funny smirk.

"D-fingers..." you replied, unable to formulate a complete sentence.

Without hesitation, he slid a finger into you, exploring you with slow and precise movements. You felt overwhelmed by the sensation, the warmth of his touch sending waves of pleasure through your body.

"So tight and so excited... Only for me. And no other boy."

His words hit you deep down, a mixture of desire and possessiveness that you had never experienced before.

You breathe in between the sighs, your body tense as he increases his pace, making you feel sensations that you had never felt before. But he was not content to see you lose control so easily. His more possessive, more dominant part took over.

"By tonight you will have erased that guy’s number," he whispered decisively as he added a second finger without warning, making you sigh louder. " I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Understand?"

Your hands clung to his long hair, pulling it slightly as pleasure clouded your mind. "S-yes..." groaning.

He slowed down the movement, pressing with his fingers, keeping you suspended on that thin line between desire and the desperate need to reach orgasm. "Yes, what?"

His tone demanded a clear answer, and the need for liberation made you give in completely. "I will delete the number!" you cried out. " There’s only you... only you, Niki!"

A smug grin formed on his face before she slightly pinched your clitoris. The pleasure exploded in you with an unexpected force and you came between his fingers with small puffs and groans, your body trembling as he kept tickling you, prolonging your pleasure.

"Good girl," he whispered, kissing you languidly, her tone still loaded with possession. "Now you know who you belong to, don’t you?"

And you, still gasping in his arms, knew that there was no one else but him. Niki lay down in front of you, holding his elbows, and you, between your sighs, caressed his cheek whispering with a trembling voice:

"Do not make me suffer." He took your delicate hands between his own, sensing the slight trembling, and with a sweet but at the same time mischievous smile guided her into his boxer shorts.

We don’t have to do it if you don’t feel like it," he whispered, but his eyes were betraying an almost uncontrollable desire.

You looked him straight in the eyes, feeling the heartbeat in his chest.

"I know that I will only lose my virginity with you. With no one else." Your words were a truth you had never spoken out loud before.

Niki was shocked for a moment, taken aback by your sincerity. He couldn’t stand you - or at least that’s what he’d always told himself - but the truth was that he had been obsessed with you for years, ever since you were little. The thought that you were only his made him crazy.

"Take them off," he ordered with a hoarse whisper, referring to his boxers.

You performed, with a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

Its length was long, full, and slightly edged by a few transparent drops. You performed for a second, then reached out and touched him shyly.

With an uncertain movement, but instinctive, you strolled along your center and an involuntary groaning escaped from your lips. The heat of his skin against you was a new, intense, almost overwhelming experience. You had never let anything in before, and the idea that he was the first one made you burn from within, a mixture of fear, excitement, and uncontrollable desire.

Niki kissed you lovingly, his lips moving slowly and hot on yours, while his hands explored your body with a sweetness that made you tremble. You took your hands off his cock and wrapped them around his neck, pressing against him with desire. He pushed himself slightly inside you, and a little moan slipped from your lips as you felt your body adapt to him. Your eyes were pinching slightly, and Niki noticed it immediately.

"I want to hear you..." he whispered in a husky voice, stroking your hair and looking at you with those dark eyes full of desire. You looked at him biting your lower lip and moaned: "Move, please..."

He pulled out almost completely and then pushed back in, this time deeper, with a slow but intense rhythm. You tortured his biceps with your fingers, sinking your nails slightly into his warm skin, while at each thump your voice became quivering and wheezing.

At first, he was kind to you, attentive to your every reaction, but when he felt your body give in completely to pleasure, his cheeky and dominant side took over.

"Fuck... who knew my good girl could take my dick so well?" whispered near your ear, nibbling at your lobe and leaving you shivering down your back. "You like it, don’t you? You’re all open to me, tight and wet only for me. Say it."

You felt yourself blazing at its dirty and possessive tone, but at the same time sweet, as if every word was designed to make you feel desired and loved.

"S-yeah... just for you..." moaning softly, squeezing him with your legs around his hips, wanting him even closer.

He let his tongue run down your neck, going down the collarbone as he increased the rhythm of the thrusts. His hands held you firmly by your hips, guiding you as they moved within you with an almost brutal passion.

"Good... that’s what you do. You’re so fucking tight to me..." he panted, slightly increasing the pace, making your head bend backward for pleasure. " You should see yourself... you’re a sight to behold as you take my cock."

Every word made you melt more and more, you felt your body react to every provocation, and each touch made you want more. Niki noticed it and with a mischievous smile kissed you with even more passion, biting slightly your lower lip before whispering: "From today you are only mine, understood? No one else will make you feel that way."

Niki increased the pace, sinking inside you with an intensity that made you completely lose control.

The pleasure climbed up your back like an unstoppable fire, and your groans melted with the sound of his husky voice. " You’re almost there, aren’t you?" you whispered in your ear, with a satisfied grin. "I can hear it from the way you squeeze around me... Christ, you are made to take me like this."

His words made you shiver, and when his thumb landed on your swollen clitoris, a wave of pure pleasure swept over you. Your body tense, your mouth opened in a choked scream as the orgasm hit you hard. Niki did not stop, anxious to reach you, and with some deep push and a muffled growl, sank completely inside of you.

"Where do you want me to come?" he whispered, the irregular breath against your skin wet with sweat.

Without hesitation, among the spasms of pleasure that still ran through your body, whispered with a thread of voice: "Inside... I take the pill."

A flash of dark desire went through his eyes, and with a last, powerful dash, he let go inside you. You felt his warm seed fill you, as he held you as if he never wanted to let go. He slowed down the pace, savoring every moment, the heavy breath against your skin as he tried to recover.

Then, without warning, you whispered words that made you jump more than the rest of the night. "Fuck... I think I’ve fallen in love with you."

You looked at him with wide eyes, the heart that seemed to explode in your chest. The cheeky, self-confident Niki now looked vulnerable, as if that confession had slipped through his fingers. He, embarrassed by your silence, hid his face in the groove of your neck and squeezed you even harder.

You couldn’t help but smile, even if the blush set your cheeks on fire. With a trembling but sincere voice, you replied: "Deep down... I think I’ve always been in love with you."

Niki rose slightly, his eyes chained to yours. With an unexpected delicacy, he ran his fingers through your wet hair and touched your face as if he were afraid to break you. Then, with a smile that was a mixture of arrogance and affection, he kissed you on the forehead and added with a mischievous smirk: "So the good girl had a thing for the bad boy? Who would have thought..."

He gave you another little pinch on your side, making you laugh as he sat down next to you, wrapping you in the warmth of his body. And at that moment, between the still tangled sheets and the busy breaths, you realized there was nowhere else I wanted to be but in Niki’s arms.

Taglist: @hearts4cheol @lovenha7 @in-somnias-world @heeseungxo @luvyeni @jayjw16enxp @jvngwni @jooniesbears-blog @gguk-n @cloudykim @enhaverse713586 @stormy1408 @jakesw82 @misssparklyprincess @bamguetismee @jaylajakey @arclviie @strxwbloody @steddie-steddie @jungwoosbaey @laurenmia65 @tasnemluvs @lovellydisaster @rikiscupid @simj4k3 @numnommz @sspidermanss @vixialuvs @smlbch @m3wkledreamy @xylatox @ikeulove @loves-struck

Comments and rebblog are appreciated

©cutehoons02 all rights reserved 2025.

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FACTS!! we need him biblically! in a way that is concerning to feminism 😞🫶

-Matchmaker Mishaps Masterlist-

Synopsis

Known for being great at setting people up, Y/n gets dared to find the perfect match for Sunghoon who has never shown interest in anyone before. After a series of hilariously failed dates, Y/N starts to realize that maybe the reason nothing worked is because Sunghoon’s perfect match has been her all along.

Pairings

Sunghoon x fem!reader

Genre

SMAU, fluff, oblivious ppl in love, slight angst

Belle’s notes

This will start as soon as ‘SYN’ finishes (rlly soon), send an ask or comment here to be added to the taglist!!

————————————————————————

Gossip Boys Cupid’s Center

Prologue

Chapter 1 - visual couple?!

Chapter 2 - that was a DISASTER (204 wc)

Chapter 3 - worst case scenario

Chapter 4 - where is the spark? (534 wc)

Chapter 5 - emo tweet (442 wc)

Chapter 6 - cupid but bitchless

Chapter 7 - lovergirl wya (674 wc)

Chapter 8 - tht shld be me

Chapter 9 - what r u scheming (508 wc)

Chapter 10 - NOT THE HEATHER NO (351 wc)

Chapter 11 - i hate idiots in love

Chapter 12 - i identify as a dog now

Chapter 13 - hmmm (612 wc)

Chapter 14 - why r we on koreaboo

Chapter 15 - atp we will all get fired

Chapter 16 - she has the brain of an austistic monkey (449 wc)

Chapter 17 - my whole body is twitching

Chapter 18 - we r going to be the spiderman brothers (1,2+ wc)

Chapter 19 - sunghoon.exe has stopped working

Chapter 20 - submissive n breedable

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TAGLIST - @jayjw16enxp @questionsdearreader @roy-sue @honeychocos @st1llm0nster @ikeulove @jiiyen @nshmurarki @shae00701 @andassortedkpop @t1iqaa @woorcve @kixri @mrchweeee @elegancefr @sol3chu @wave2hoon @en-verse @shuichi-sama @heekilrvs @manaah02 @mwahvvis @ribbioniki @ilovbeshotaro @who-tf-soddhi @n1k1mura @stvrriki @r1kification

(Bolded can’t be tag)

©honeybelleee on tumblr!

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oh, to be secretly dating jungwon 🫶

take a chance with me - yjw

pairing: school president!jungwon x club president!reader genre: secret dating, highschool, jungwon is jealous with club vice president!sunghoon, FLUFF!! en-drama typa jungwon word count: 2.3k summary: jungwon and you knew it's for the best that you keep your relationship hidden for now, however, things have been hard for jungwon ever since the whole campus started thinking that sunghoon and you make a great pair.

His laugh you'd die for, his laugh you'd die for The kind that colors the sky...

every first monday of the month brought a unique buzz to the broadcasting club. it wasn’t just about club projects or the regular announcements—there was something else in the air, something that made your heart race a little faster. it was the day jungwon, the school body president, would step through the door for his monthly broadcast. to everyone else, it was just routine—an official duty where the admired campus figure would deliver school updates. but to you, it was more than that. it was the one time you could be near him without arousing suspicion.

you, the disciplined and respected president of the broadcasting club, known for your flawless grades and no-nonsense attitude, and jungwon, the school’s golden boy, adored by every girl who passed him in the hallway. on the surface, you were nothing more than polite acquaintances—just two student leaders crossing paths for official business. but beneath that carefully crafted facade, there was so much more that the rest of the school didn’t know.

today, like clockwork, you heard that familiar knock at the door. straightening up, you cleared your throat, trying to act as composed as ever.

“come in,” you called out, keeping your voice steady.

jungwon stepped inside, and the usual chatter of the club quieted down. he smiled politely, his gaze quickly scanning the room until it landed on you. but as usual, you pretended not to notice, staying focused on the papers in front of you.

“here’s the announcement script,” you said, handing it to him without so much as a second glance. your heart pounded, but you maintained your distant, professional facade.

as he took the script from you, his fingers brushed yours—just for a second—and it sent a wave of warmth rushing through you. he didn’t meet your eyes, but you knew what that touch meant. behind the polite smile he wore in front of your club members, there was something more. and you wanted to believe no one noticed the way his fingers lingered, even if just for a heartbeat.

sunghoon, your vice president, leaned back in his chair, completely unaware of the tension. “i’ll review the schedule with y/n before we finalize it. right, president?” he asked, smiling at you like always.

“right,” you replied, forcing a smile back, though your mind was elsewhere. you caught jungwon’s jaw clench slightly, something only you could notice. he had heard the rumors—the whispers around school that you and sunghoon looked like the “perfect couple.” people shipped you two together, even though sunghoon was just a good friend who had no interest in relationships. jungwon never mentioned it, but you could tell it bothered him more than he let on.

as jungwon left the room, a small part of you wondered if that would be your last interaction for the day, but you knew better.

to everyone else, it was official business as usual: the president visiting the broadcasting club to announce the school’s plans and upcoming events. but to you and jungwon, there was an unspoken connection woven into these formalities, hidden beneath the surface of your perfectly poised exteriors. and then there was sunghoon—your broadcasting club’s vice president—always by your side, unaware of the subtle, electric tension that hung between you and jungwon during these monthly meetings.

today, as you navigated the bustling hallways of your school, you could feel eyes on you. it wasn’t unusual; as the strict, organized, and admired president of the broadcasting club, people often looked up to you. but the whispers and glances lately were different, especially when sunghoon walked beside you.

“they look so good together.”

“i swear, they must be secretly dating.”

“she’s always with him. it’s just like one of those romance novels.”

you heard the whispers and pretended not to care. you and sunghoon had always been close friends, working seamlessly together, and despite what people said, you knew there was nothing romantic between you. but there was someone else who wasn’t as indifferent to those rumors.

as you entered your classroom later that morning, your gaze drifted down the hallway, half-expecting to see jungwon pass by on his way to class. your heart skipped a beat when you spotted him. he walked with that calm, composed air, surrounded by a group of his friends. the girls nearby were in full swoon mode, whispering excitedly the moment he appeared. jungwon was the definition of the campus crush—handsome, charming, and utterly out of reach for most.

you quickly looked down, busying yourself with your notes. jungwon couldn’t approach you, not here, not with so many eyes on him. but as his footsteps drew nearer, you froze. was he really coming over? the air around you tensed, your fingers tightening around your pen. please don’t. not in front of everyone…

and then, he walked straight toward your desk—but not to you. instead, he leaned over to your classmate, the one seated directly in front of you.

“hey,” jungwon said casually, flashing that easygoing smile that made every girl’s heart flutter. “can i borrow that biology book you mentioned last week?”

your heart sank and surged all at once. he wasn’t here for you—but then again, maybe he was. his left hand rested on your desk as he spoke to your classmate, his fingers so close you could feel the warmth radiating from them. you glanced down, glaring at his hand as though it had betrayed you. did he really have to lean on your desk?

your classmate handed him the book, completely oblivious to the silent turmoil you were in. jungwon didn’t look at you, but you could sense the faintest hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“thanks,” he said smoothly, turning to leave. but before he walked away, his hand brushed over your desk once more, as if to remove something he’d forgotten. you glanced down after he left and saw it—wrapped candy with a crumpled note tucked beneath.

your fingers trembled as you carefully unfolded the note, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. the message inside was simple, but it made your heart race:

“hi gorgeous, i miss u :( just want to tell you how much i want to hold your hand right now. CU l8r <3”

a smile tugged at your lips despite your best efforts to remain composed. you crumpled the note back into your palm, hiding it away before anyone noticed. that brief interaction had felt like an eternity, and your heart still raced from the near disaster of him actually talking to you. but now, all you could think about was the note, and the secret rendezvous waiting after school.

the day crawled by, and soon enough, the afternoon bell signaled the time for jungwon’s monthly broadcast. the familiar hum of equipment filled the broadcasting room as you and sunghoon prepared for the transmission. you kept things professional as always, though you could sense the mounting tension.

when jungwon arrived, the atmosphere shifted instantly. his usual calm demeanor was in place, but you saw the slight flicker in his eyes when he glanced at you standing next to sunghoon. it was subtle—just a brief tightening of his jaw, a flicker of something unspoken—but you knew what it meant.

you handed him the microphone, nodding as you spoke in your most official voice. “the floor is yours, president.”

“thank you,” jungwon replied, taking the mic with practiced ease.

as jungwon spoke into the mic, laying out the plans for the month, you kept your eyes on the monitor, pretending to focus on the broadcast. his voice was smooth and steady, but you couldn’t ignore the way it made your heart skip.

“...and as we move into the second semester, we look forward to increased collaboration between our students and the research institute,” jungwon announced, his voice echoing through every classroom.

you felt a tug, something beyond the words, and against your better judgment, you glanced at him. to your surprise, he was already looking at you. just for a second, his eyes held yours before he turned back to the camera. it was quick—barely noticeable—but it sent a flutter through your chest.

in that tiny moment, you knew. even with the whole school listening, it felt like the words were just for you.

meanwhile, sunghoon remained oblivious, casually checking the sound levels as jungwon spoke. he leaned back in his chair, totally unaware of the silent storm brewing between you and jungwon.

the broadcast ended without a hitch, and jungwon handed the mic back to you. “good job,” you said, keeping your voice professional.

“thanks,” jungwon replied. he was all business now, but as he walked past you toward the door, his fingers brushed your hand, a fleeting touch meant only for you.

sunghoon, who was packing up the equipment, didn’t notice a thing. you wished you could feel the same ease, but every time sunghoon stood close to you, or when he smiled too casually, you felt the weight of jungwon’s gaze, the jealousy simmering beneath his calm surface.

after school, you took your usual route, heading in the opposite direction from jungwon as always. the two of you were careful—no one could suspect that the broadcasting club president and the school body president were secretly dating. but as you turned down the familiar alleyway behind the school, there he was, leaning against the brick wall, waiting for you with that familiar mischievous smile. the moment your eyes met, you felt the weight of the day melt away.

“hey,” he said softly, his voice no longer the cool, composed tone of the school president, but warm and affectionate—just for you.

“hey,” you replied, your smile growing as you walked toward him.

without saying a word, he slipped your backpack off your shoulders and pulled you into his arms, his fingers intertwining with yours like it was the most natural thing in the world. in that moment, the tension of the day—the whispers, the teasing, the rumors—melted away. everything faded the instant you were alone with him, the world outside forgotten.

“you have no idea how hard it was to keep a straight face during that broadcast,” he murmured against your hair. “standing there, talking to the entire school, while you were right there next to sunghoon.”

you smiled into his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace. “sunghoon? really? you know he doesn’t care about the rumors. he’s just doing his job.”

jungwon sighed, resting his chin on your head. “i know. but still… i hate that people keep pairing you two together.”

“i don’t care what they think,” you replied softly. “i only care about you.”

jungwon smiled down at you, his eyes filled with affection as he laced his fingers through yours. “i know. and that’s all that matters.” he gently tugged you closer, his forehead resting against yours. “but sometimes i wish i could just—”

“just what?” you teased, smiling at how cute he looked when he was flustered.

he hesitated for a moment, before breaking into a mischievous grin. “sometimes i just want to make it obvious to everyone that you’re mine. forget all the secrecy.”

you laughed softly, your heart fluttering at his words. “we can’t, remember? the school would lose its mind.”

jungwon groaned, his hand tightening around yours. “i know. but i miss you so much during the day. all those girls swooning over me in the hallway… it’s hard not to tell them i’m already taken.”

“well,” you said, leaning in closer, your lips brushing his cheek, “you don’t have to worry. i’m the only one who gets to hold your hand after school.”

he chuckled softly, squeezing your hand. “and i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“i missed you,” jungwon murmured softly, his thumb gently brushing against your hand. “it felt like forever since i last saw you.”

his voice, low and tender, sent a warmth through you that rivaled the sunlight, and you couldn’t help but smile at how much those simple words made your heart flutter.

you laughed softly, squeezing his hand. “you saw me at lunch. in fact, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

he smirked, clearly proud of himself. “what? borrowing a book from your classmate isn’t allowed anymore?” he teased, though his eyes sparkled with something more.

“you know exactly what you were doing,” you shot back, playfully nudging him. “leaving a note like that? what if someone had seen it?”

“no one did,” jungwon replied smoothly, pulling you closer to him. “besides, i like the thrill of almost getting caught.”

you rolled your eyes, though the smile tugging at your lips was impossible to hide. “you’re impossible.”

“but you love me anyway,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. there was a gentleness in his voice, one that only came out when it was just the two of you.

you leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder as the world around you grew quieter. in the dim light of the alley, away from prying eyes, the two of you could finally be yourselves—no rumors, no pretenses. just you and jungwon, hand in hand, hearts racing in sync.

“i do,” you whispered, closing your eyes as you let yourself sink into the comfort of his presence. “i love you.”

the words felt like a promise, a secret meant only for the two of you. and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

---

talk me down | sim jaeyun

you honestly couldn't comprehend why falling for your brother's best friend was so taboo... especially when said best friend was jake sim. // minors dni, 18+

words: 6.55k // warnings: established relationship, jock!jake, frat!jake x sorority!reader, brother!heesung, unprotected sex (pull out method is used - wrap it before you tap it guys)

loving jake sim was easy, like breathing. everything he did was the epitome of “boyfriend”, and it never failed to have butterflies in your stomach and a flush of red on your cheeks. you just wished you could love him out loud, show him off to the world as yours, and you knew deep down he felt the same.

you didn’t understand why falling for your brother’s best friend was so taboo. sure, heesung was jake’s only hyung, and that made things slightly more awkward - jake would never want to do anything that could offend or upset heesung, but falling for you was never on his agenda when befriending his older friend on the football team.

now heesung had graduated, it was easier for you and jake to just be together on campus, but sometimes it got difficult. he couldn’t just turn up to pick you up from home for a date over the holidays, and you had to be careful with your proximity and interactions when you were all hanging out as a group with their other friends.

part of you felt awful about hiding this from your elder brother, but no one knew how he’d react so you were biding your time in finding the right time to tell him. you hoped he’d approve - you needed him to approve. more than anything. you couldn’t lose jake, not after spending so long falling for everything about him. all his quirks and secret hobbies. all his guilty pleasures and his routines. his coffee order, the songs he uses to hype himself up before a game. the way he holds you, the way he kisses you - conveying everything he couldn't say through the way his lips meshed with yours.

however, what you weren’t expecting was for everything to come tumbling out when heesung gatecrashed a frat party with a bunch of other last years’ graduates from the football team.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

jake had met heesung when the younger was just a baby-faced college freshman. it was only a few years ago, but it felt like a lifetime. jake was a pledge for kappa nu, where heesung was already a brother - a legacy, actually. his father and uncles had all been in kappu nu during their time at the college, and it was safe to say heesung was one of their most active members.

heesung quickly adopted jake as his little brother, seeing a lot of himself in the bright-eyed kid. they became best friends almost as quickly, heesung introducing jake to the football team, which is where jake got his confidence to actually go to tryouts.

he had met you not far into the semester, at a mixer between his frat, and your sorority - where you were, much like your brother, a legacy. you were instantly attracted to him, and got chatting almost straight away. you told him about how your entire family had gone to HybeU, and that nowhere else even seemed like an option for you brother the previous year, or you when you had applied. it turned out HybeU loved legacy students, and were keen to take on as many as they could.

with the flush of alcohol running through your veins, you almost got the confidence to ask jake to take you back to his room, before your brother called out your childhood nickname - stunning both you and jake.

“(n/n)! you’ve met jake! he’s the kid i was telling you about!”

he was so excited for his best friend to meet his treasured little sister, but you couldn’t deny the awkwardness that developed between you and jake after. almost as if your brother being his best friend was an instant turn-off for him.

but as much as he tried to put distance between you to ignore the growing crush he developed on you from the first time he saw you - he couldn’t. it was like he couldn’t escape you. he was going to hang out off campus with his friends? heesung was insistent on bringing you along! a football match, or even practice? oh, you were in the stands because heesung was taking you out for some brother-sister bonding after. jake was struggling in his english lit class, which he needed to pass to stay on the team? you loved the novel he was learning about, heesung would see if you were free to tutor him sometime!

it was almost as if the universe, or even heesung himself was trying to push the two of you together. he almost got up the courage to ask heesung for his blessing to take you on a date, until he was stuck in a conversation with his hyung and another frat brother which changed his perspective.

“i dunno, man. your sister’s pretty cute, and she’s around all the time. i’d take her out, you know?”

heesung seethed at the mere thought of it. “if you, or anyone here for that matter, even think about touching my sister i promise i won’t hesitate to cut your balls off. she’s off limits, got it?”

oh.

maybe jake wouldn’t ask you out, after all.

but it was so difficult - to be around you so often and not be able to voice his feelings. he truly had no idea you felt the same way, especially clueless to the conversation you and heesung had after you ended up blushing and shy everytime you hung out with his friends. heesung didn’t know your feelings for jake, and so he couldn’t tell the boy in question, and you were happy to keep it that way. he just warned you that his friends were off-limits, and probably not the type of boyfriend material you were after. in fact, he warned you that most frat boys were not the type of boys he’d want his sister to be with.

it was only after your childhood best friend and sorority sister started dating a shared friend of heesung and jake - and by default, you - that you began to question hiding your feelings from jake. jay was lovely, and he was so perfect to mina that you couldn’t help but wonder…. why couldn’t that be you? why couldn’t it be jake picking you up from mixers when you drank too much, or bringing coffee to your morning lecture because you were tired? what was the harm in trying?

embarrassingly, your confession came when jake picked you up from a bar - entirely by accident. heesung was sick and all your friends were either busy, or had also been drinking. but jake came for you, like a knight in shining armor, and you couldn’t help it.

“you’re so pretty, ikeu.” you breathed, your eyes dancing like stars as you took in the way he stood against his car waiting for you. you watched as a pretty, pink blush spread across his cheeks and he shook his head softly.

“you’re drunk,” he started, opening the passenger door to help you in. “c’mon. you need some water and to go to bed.”

of course you listened, it was jake so why wouldn’t you? but you were still determined to prove your point.

“no, seriously, jake. you’re, like…. gorgeous,” you couldn’t look away from him as he pulled away from the curb to take you back to your sorority house. “everyone loves you and its not fair. it means i’m not special.”

he was taken aback by your words, glancing over at you slightly shocked when he reached a red light. his heart was hammering in his chest, but he was painfully aware that he couldn’t respond the way he truly wanted, especially while you were intoxicated in his passenger seat.

“you are special, (y/n). i don’t think you realize how special you are to me. but let's not talk about this now, yeah?”

“but if not now, then when? heesung wouldn’t let us be alone together if he knew how i really felt.” you huffed, opting to stare out the window instead. jake thought you looked like a child sulking, it was kind of cute.

“(y/n),” he started softly. “if you like me more than as a friend, it’s okay. it actually makes the way i’ve been pining over you less embarrassing. but you know we can’t act on it, right? heesung would kill me.”

you couldn’t help the tears that build it your eyes as jake pulled up to your house, the car drawing to a stop as you let out a sigh.

“i know. thanks for the ride, jake. see you around, i guess.”

you had left the car before he could even say another word, but he was too stupid and overwhelmed to go after you, which in hindsight was his biggest mistake. you started avoiding him after that, barely able to act normal when you bumped into him with your brother.

it went on for three weeks, and he couldn’t stand it. fuck what heesung thought. he couldn’t cope with the way you avoided him like the plague - not when he knew you felt the same way as him.

heesung had gone away on a trip with one of his clubs, and you felt restless and abandoned. you’d never been away from your brother for too long, and not having him within an arm’s distance was unsettling in every way. you started hanging out at the frat house again more often, as you saw the guys as brothers of your own by default, but that didn’t stop you from avoiding jake still.

it was only when he bumped into you in the kitchen at 3am one morning that he got up the courage to confront you, and neither of you could have expected the turn that the night would take.

“you know you don’t have to act like i don’t exist, right? it actually fucking sucks.”

you jumped, not expecting the voice behind you as you filled your water bottle in the sink. you knew it was jake, and as much as you wanted to avoid this conversation, you knew you couldn’t. you sighed, switching off the faucet and turning to face him, taking in the way he seemed exhausted in every sense of the word.

“jake, i can’t do this right now, okay?”

“but if not now, then when?” he snapped, mirroring your words from the night you told him of your feelings for him, and you had to admit you felt a bit ashamed. was it really eating him up that bad?

“you were right. heesung would kill you. so what’s the point of entertaining something that can never happen? being around you is too hard right now, so i’m keeping my distance until i’m over this. please don’t make it harder for me, jake.”

there was a beat of silence as jake processed what you had said and took a mental battle with himself. you could see the cogs turning in his head as he muttered to himself, angry with you ro himself, you weren’t sure.

“let’s just… talk about this another time, okay?”

you went to walk past him, but you didn’t get far before he grabbed your wrist with a silent plea to just wait and hear him out. the contact between you had your skin buzzing, and all of a sudden you completely forgot why you’d been avoiding him. why couldn’t you both just be normal people?

jake sighed, his eyes darting over your face for any signs of discomfort.

“just– fuck it. fuck what heesung thinks.” was all he said before pulling you closer and placing his lips on yours. and it felt magical. yeah, you may have been kissing in his fraternity kitchen at almost half past three in the morning, wearing one of his friend’s shirts as a sleep dress, but it was the most perfect first kiss you could have even imagined.

he couldn’t stop himself, pressing peck after peck to your soft lips, his hands cupping your face like you’d disappear if he let go. your hands, on the contrary, had dipped under his shirt, holding onto his waist like it was keeping you grounded. it took everything in you not to dig your nails into his gorgeous skin when his teeth nipped your bottom lip, and you let out an embarrassing whimper. god, were you really that touch-starved?

eventually, you had to pull away for breath, mumbling against his lips because you couldn’t bring yourself to be too far for him. “take me to your room, jake. i don’t care what we do, we could just sleep for all i care, i just need to be close to you.”

he grinned, softly caressing your cheek as he pulled away, and you blushed at the way he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. he was quick to take your hand and pull you up the stairs to his bedroom. once you were safely in with the door closed and locked, he practically begged you to change into one of his shirts to sleep in, his puppy-dog eyes making you weak in the knees.

“please, (y/n), i can’t sleep next to you knowing you’re wearing one of jungwon’s shirts. what about if– listen, whatever one you choose i’ll let you keep it, yeah?”

he was cute when he begged, not that he needed to. and the second you were curled up in his bed, one of your legs slung over his waist while his fingers drew soft patterns on your skin - you knew you were in love.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

almost two years had passed since jake asked you to be his girlfriend, exactly a year after you found yourself curled up in his bed with a shitty tv show playing in the background - and things were a lot different since then

you were both seniors now. jake was captain of the football team, while you were president of the musical theater society. heesung had graduated a year earlier, and while you felt bad about hiding a huge part of your life from him, being with jake couldn’t be better.

now heesung was no longer on campus, you could go out holding hands, or stay at each other’s dorms without the worry of being caught. you could kiss jake when he ran up to you happily after a successful football game, and he could meet you with flowers after one of your musical theater performances.

you just prayed that heesung would stay oblivious enough at least until after you graduated - you’d feel less bad about telling him then. in fact, you were impressed with how well you and jake were hiding it from him. unfortunately for you, it wouldn’t last as long as you hoped.

not long before the first semester of your senior year ended, kappa nu decided to throw a huge celebration party - mainly to celebrate the upcoming graduates, but also just to enjoy the end of the semester before christmas break.

of course, you and jake were keen to go - even more so when sunghoon had excitedly told you it was going to be a costume party. the concept of a costume party sparked many playful fights between jake and yourself - he wanted to go in hogwarts robes, but you felt that was too halloween-like and wanted something more…. couple-y? cute?

eventually, you decided to go as romeo and juliet, jake searching high and low for a non-metallic knight costume that was breathable and easy to move in, while you had it easy. you thrifted a really cute white dress, and found a pair of good quality, dainty angel wings online for a relatively cheap price.

the two of you decided not to show one another your costumes until the day of the party, where you’d have to meet jake at the kappa nu house where he was given the responsibility of greeting guests. it was exciting, and you decided to throw in your own twist to the costume as a fun surprise for him.

it felt like a given that you’d stay with jake after the party, crashing in his room and probably spending all your hangover recovery time with him, so why not make it interesting? you searched online high and low to find the perfect website - and when you did, you ordered a gorgeous lace thong in white (to match your dress) with the phrase “jake’s girl” etched into the hemline with crystal lettering. talk about a perfect early christmas present, right?

you tried to avoid talking about the party with him after that, afraid you’d accidentally spill your guts and spoil the surprise for him. but luckily he seemed more caught up in the love lives of his friends - more specifically, who they’d all be bringing to the party.

“i think sunoo’s going to bring that sophomore girl from his accounting seminars. at least i hope so, god, i’m so sick of hearing him pine after her. i swear i wasn’t that bad before we got together.”

looking over at jay who was sitting opposite you with mina in the cafe, he gave you a look that told you all you needed to know. jake was definitely that bad. probably worse. in fact, you did them all a favor by getting with him because he would never shut the fuck up about you.

when the day of the party finally arrived, you and your sorority sisters decided to all band together and get ready in your living room - helping one another with makeup, straightening each other’s hair, being each other’s designated photographers for instagram posts. you had no idea anyone off campus knew anything about the party - especially not last years graduates - until you got a message from your brother.

have fun tonight, (n/n)!!! send me a picture of ur costume :( im so annoyed i’m not there kappa nu didn’t do anything like this before i graduated

for some reason, the wording of heesung’s message felt ominous. you weren’t sure how he even knew about the party, but you shook it off the second one of the younger, freshman girls in your house asked you if you could braid her hair - which you agreed to, happily pulling out a box of hair ties.

by the time all the girls were ready, it was half past nine and you were a little late for the party - not that you minded. after shoving some essentials in the little purse you were bringing, you all left the house to start the short walk to the kappa nu house.

it probably looked insane - 15 girls all dressed in different costumes that definitely didn’t coordinate walked down the road in the student village. you all looked like you were going to completely different events, and the effects of the pre-drinks were starting to kick in with the way you were all giggling like maniacs. half of you couldn’t walk in a straight line sober, so the group of you stumbling across the curb must’ve looked rather amusing to passers-by.

you and the elder sisters in the sorority stayed to the back of the group as your approached the house, wanting all the younger girls to get in the house safely and make sure you hadn’t lost anyone on the walk there - the freshman and sophomores were feral, and sometimes you struggled to keep track of them.

you smiled as jake came into your line of vision, his freshly bleached hair in a dirty blonde adding to the effect of the costume. you liked it, maybe too much, but that was a problem for later. he grinned when he saw you, taking in your outfit and making you do a quick twirl for him.

“you look good, baby. i’ll be inside in a minute, yeah? they’re making me stay on the door until the last sorority gets here.” he pressed a kiss to your temple as you ran your hands over the armor of his costume - it was surprisingly good quality, and you couldn’t help but wonder where he got it so last minute.

“no worries, jakey, just come find me when you get in.” you pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, reaching up to rub away the remains of your lipgloss after. you took note of the soft hue of red coating his cheeks and turned to wave at him as you walked into the house. you would never get over the affect you had on jake, it was both endearing and so, so fucking attractive.

jake wormed his way through the crowds of people towards you about 15 minutes later, a red solo cup of punch in each hand. he passed you a cup and sipped his own as you danced with your friends, having the best time of your college life so far. when you’d finally had enough of dancing with jake and your friends, and your feet started to hurt, you took jake’s hand and began mingling - being a social butterfly was never on your agenda, but you loved knowing so many people and being able to say hi and know the names of most people at the party.

it was only about an hour and a half into the party that you remembered your surprise for jake, and the alcohol coursing through your veins gave you enough confidence to finally show him. you and jake were by no means new to sexual activity with one another, but he still always managed to make you shy and for once you wanted to give him the same effect.

you waved goodbye to jay and mina, quickly pulling jake towards an empty bathroom and giggling as he questioned where you were going. his cousin and frat brother had finally met a girl, so his bedroom was off-bounds as jake had loaned it to him for the night, so for now a bathroom was your best option.

pushing jake in and locking the door behind you, he’d never been so confused in his life.

“what’s going on, angel? you getting overwhelmed out there?” he asked as you hopped onto the counter shaking your head.

“got a surprise for you, jakey, but i couldn’t show you out there. trust me, you don’t want anyone else to see it.” biting your lip to try and contain your grin, you moved jake’s hands to the hem of your dress, urging him to lift it up.

he chuckled breathlessly, confused by your antics.

“don’t tell me you’ve got all needy for me already, huh? oh, baby, what am i going to do with you?”

you groaned as he simply fingered the hemming of your dress, your eyebrows furrowing slightly in frustration. annoyed with his waiting game, you lifted your dress, the light catching the crystals on your panties causing his eyes to go flying down to them.

it took him a minute to process what the lettering spelt, but once he did, he looked back up at you with a smirk. one that had you clenching your thighs together, anticipating what was to come.

“yeah, you’re my girl,” he hummed, the cockiness flooding through in this tone. “my pretty, pretty girl, aren’t you? you did all this for me, hmm?”

you nodded shyly, a coat of red settling gently on your cheeks as he caressed your bare thighs. you loved it when he got possessive, and he loved it equally as much when you willingly submitted yourself to him completely.

“nuh uh, use your words,” he chuckled, pinching the skin between his fingers and reveling in the way your breaths got shorter as he inched closer to your core. “you’re a big girl, aren’t you? my girl. use your words for me, my angel girl.”

“did it all you for, jakey,” you mumbled, nosing against his neck as he pulled himself closer to you. “just wanna be pretty for you.”

his fingers reached further up, fiddling with the lettering on the hem of your panties as he pressed a searing hot kiss to your lips.

“my pretty girl. got me all worked up now, you know that? can’t even take you to my room,” the grumble in his voice was only half-serious, knowing full well that he planned to ruin you right there on top of the bathroom counter. “will you let me have my way with you right here, pretty?”

you simply nodded, too overwhelmed in your lust for the boy in front of you that words failed you. he cupped your face in his soft hands, pressing his lips firmly against your own, and an embarrassing whimper fell from your throat. how had you been together for bordering on two years, but even a simple kiss had you melting under his fingertips?

you didn’t know how or when your panties ended up strewn on the bathroom floor, or when jaeyun had pulled down the top of your dress, your tits spilling out so prettily as he mouthed at them - but you couldn’t complain. not when you felt budding marks blooming across your skin, nor when he pulled you closer so your hips sat flush to each other and his cock aching in his pants pressed against you so deliciously.

while one of your hands was wandering lower, pressing between your bodies to try and get a grip on jake’s belt buckle, the other was wrapped in strands of his hair, the feeling of his lips leaving a fiery wake on your skin being both too much and not enough. he was panting and allowing little whines to leave his lips as you tugged on his roots - something you discovered that he thoroughly enjoyed quite early into your relationship.

almost as if he didn’t want to - which he probably didn’t in all honesty - he finally pulled himself away from your chest enough to help you unbuckle his trousers and lower them, along with his boxers, just enough so his cock could spring out of its confines. he was so hard you wouldn’t be surprised if it was bordering on uncomfortable, and you wanted nothing more than for him to bully himself inside you and fill you up only the way he could - so, so perfectly.

you spat on your hand before stroking his length, the boy in front of you slightly jolting at the sudden stimulation. although, as much as he wanted nothing more than to be buried inside your walls, he also seemed keen on the idea of teasing you, causing you to groan and throw your head back in frustration.

“please, baby. need you in me. won’t you fuck me, jakey, please?” you put on your best puppy-dog eyes in hopes of swaying him, and in one swift movement he hooked an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him as he eased inside your tight hole.

“fuck, angel. haven’t i fucked you good enough, huh? still so tight after all this time, its almost like your pretty pussy’s suffocating me.”

you keened at his words, head falling forward to rest against his shoulder as he began shallowly thrusting into you. you were well aware that jake was particularly endowed, but somehow it managed to catch you off guard every time he sheathed his entire length inside you. you’d never felt so full, and it was addicting. in fact, everything he did was addicting.

the way he rolled his pelvis into yours had you drooling onto his costume, your eyes rolling into the back of your head in a way beyond your control. maybe it was the alcohol in your systems, or the fact you were fucking in the bathroom of his frat house, but you swore jake had you seeing stars faster than ever before.

anyone who stood too close to the bathroom door would be fully aware of what was going on, the sound slapping sounds and moans echoing off the tiled walls easily overpowering the loud bass of the music for anyone in a close enough proximity. you slung both arms around his neck, tears welling up in your eyes at how good he was making you feel.

but then, a knock on the door caught you off guard, jake’s hand slamming over your mouth - he didn’t want anyone else to hear your pretty calls of his name, and he was sure he could get rid of whoever was outside the door easily.

“yeah? kinda busy in here, sorry!” jake called out through gritted teeth, his cock never stopping its assault on your gummy walls. his eyes were screwed tightly shut, and you couldn’t help but move his hand from your mouth and run your tongue over the veins popping out on his neck, collecting all the sweat on your tongue. it was so hot, the idea of one of his frat brothers catching you in the act.

“jake? bro, is that you?” suddenly jake’s hips stilled inside you, both of you in utter disbelief, not wanting to recognize the voice on the other side of the door that your eyes were glued to. “sorry, man, i’m looking for (y/n), have you seen her?”

you gasped, not expecting jake to shallowly start thrusting into you again, the fact that your brother was standing on the other side of a plank of wood doing nothing to fend off his impending orgasm.

“i dunno, man. have you asked the others? i’ll talk to you once i’m finished in here.” he groaned, heeseung letting out an amused laugh when he finally caught on to jake’s x-rated activities.

“yeah sure, bro. make sure you clean up after yourself, yeah?”

as soon as heeseung’s voice had quietened and you were sure he had walked away, jake’s grip on your hips became tighter as he pulled you into a bruising kiss and began pistoning his hips in and out of you at an animalistic pace.

you couldn’t stop the loud whines and moans from falling from your lips, gripping onto his biceps to try and support the way you were wobbling on the counter. you couldn’t believe how keen he was, especially after talking to your brother while his cock was buried in your walls.

“jake- oh, fuck– jakey, he’s gonna find out– hnn–” the knot in your abdomen was growing tighter and tighter by the second, and you were sure you looked a mess of drool and running makeup by now. but jake didn’t stop. instead he attached his lips back to your neck, mumbling against the skin.

“don’t care. just need to feel you cum around me. can figure out everything else later.”

and for once, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. jake’s fingers fumbled as he reached down to rub your clit, the extra stimulation hurling you right to the edge of your release. between his lips, his fingers, his cock, you couldn’t hold yourself back or give him any warning. your orgasm hit you like a brick wall, your body stiffening and walls clamping down on jake’s length like a vice.

you practically saw white, eyes rolling to the back of your head, mouth in a wide “o” as the waves of pleasure rolling through your body all the way to your soul. jake cursed, almost whimpering as he pulled his length out of you.

“sorry, baby. can’t fill you up, tonight.” he groaned, fisting his cock harshly and allowing his load to release all over your exposed abdomen. heavy pants filled the room, your hands on jake’s shoulders as he gripped the counter either side of you body while you tried to catch your breath.

silently, he pulled himself away to get some tissue, cleaning himself up and tucking his softening length back into his pants, before running a face cloth under the bathtub faucet.

“gonna clean you up, okay, pretty girl? just sit there and be good for me.” he murmured before bringing the towel down to your folds, gently wiping away the remains of your activity. he was always extra cautious about aftercare, painfully aware of where you were most sensitive before you even figured it out. he then helped you down off of the counter, telling you to go pee while he cleaned the counter - which, being his good girl, of course you did.

“now, act normal, okay? go sit by sunoo’s room, and i’ll go find heeseung and tell him i found you there.” he smiled softly, peppering kisses all over your face as you giggled. “you sure you can walk okay?”

you nodded, a blush spreading on your cheeks before tapping his butt gently.

“yes, i promise. now unlock the door before someone thinks i got kidnapped.”

“nah, you’d bore them to death talking about twilight. they’d give you back to me within an hour.” he joked, chuckled as you feigned offense and gently slapped his chest. he unlocked the door, opening it enough to slip out and pull you out with him, but he didn’t go as far as you thought he would. for some reason, he came to a dead stop almost instantly without warning you, and you ended up slamming straight into his back.

“ouch, jake, what the fuck–” but your words were cut short as you peered around him and were met with the figure of your brother standing across the hall, phone in one hand and a drink in the other, staring straight at you. “ah, shit.”

heeseung didn’t say a single word as he approached, barely looking you in the eye until he walked past you. “i think we need to talk, don’t we? i’ll meet you in the den.” and with that, he simply walked away.

heeseung’s emotions were hard to read at the best of times, but he was certainly hiding how he felt well in that moment. you looked up at jake, only to be met with his terrified face and his grip on your hand tightening slightly.

silently, you sighed and began leading him towards the den, where your brother would be waiting. whatever happened in there, you would stand your ground. you were hopelessly in love with jake, and if heeseung didn’t like it - well, he would just have to suck it up. he’d come around eventually, of course, but there was no way in hell you were leaving the love of your life purely because your brother told you to.

you softly pressed a kiss to jake’s cheek before walking into the den, as requested by heeseung. honestly, you were ready to go in all guns blazing, and you were never opposed to yelling at your brother if it meant he’d listen to you. when you entered, jake trailing behind you, heeseung was already sat on a beanbag, face unreadable.

jake, somehow, had the courage - or, maybe stupidity - to go and sit on the beanbag opposite heeseung, but you chose to stay standing with your arms folded over your chest.

“whatever you have to say, seung, just say it and get it over with. i’m not in the mood for a lecture.”

finally, heeseung pulled his gaze to you, but still, his expression was utterly unreadable. his eyes drifted over to jake before coming back to you, and you were more than relieved when he finally spoke.

“please just sit down, (n/n). i’m not going to lecture you, i swear.”

you huffed, avoiding his eyes as you plopped yourself into the beanbag next to jake. speaking of which, jake looked like he was about to vomit. his hands were almost rigid at his side, and if you couldn’t see the slight movement of his shoulders you would’ve probably thought he wasn’t breathing.

you had to stop yourself from taking jake’s hands in yours to comfort him - if heeseung kicked off over it, you weren’t sure how jake would take it, and you didn’t want to wind your brother up even more.

the room was eerily silent for a while; too long, for your liking.

you almost thought heeseung had lost his mind when he started smiling, assuming he was taking joy from yours and jake’s apparent fear. in fact, you could’ve sworn you hadn’t seen such a smile on his face since the day you told him that you’d been accepted to HybeU.

“god, you guys are so cute. did you really think i hadn’t picked up on it by now? i basically shipped you from the start.”

suddenly all the air came back into the room, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“you knew? hyung, but– i thought you would’ve killed me if you knew!” jake seemed to be absolutely flabbergasted by this new information, and you weren’t in a much better state. had he feigned ignorance to see how long you could keep up the charade? had he faked his annoyance when he caught you, just to see you squirm?

“hee, how long have you known?” was all you could ask before your brother shrugged, as if he hadn't admitted something major the second before.

“i’ve known since the start. everyone except you guys knew that i knew, we all kind of had a bet going to see how long it would last before you told me…. i won, by the way. i gathered you’d wait until after your graduation.”

you spluttered as jake’s face turned beetroot red, unable to comprehend what heeseung was saying.

“listen, i’m not mad. i get it. you both thought i’d be mad, so you hid it. actually, it was kind of funny hearing you sneak jake into the house during the holidays, or watching him park down the street so i wouldn’t see him picking you up.”

you sat with heeseung a while longer, him gladly answering the bombard of questions that you and jake had for him. and slowly, you became more comfortable being touchy with jake in front of him. jake’s hand ended up on your thigh, which you ended up taking in your own. then, your legs were slung over his lap while he had an arm around your shoulder. yeah, heeseung fake gagged when jake kissed your cheek, but you knew it was all in good heart given the smile of your brother’s face.

in all honesty, heeseung was just glad you had someone to look after you. someone to love you as much as jake clearly did. he knew he couldn’t keep you wrapped up, protected from the world forever, but he truly couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend for you than jake.

eventually, you all went back to the party, deciding to enjoy the last few hours of fun before everyone had to leave and head back to their own dorms.

with a drink in your hand, and your arms around jake’s waist, you’d never felt happier. it was actually quite liberating, knowing that your brother knew and approved of your relationship, and you were grateful that you were blessed with a brother as good as heeseung.

swaying to your favorite song with jake’s arms around you, and your heart thumping in your chest, you leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his face. he grinned, returning the kiss and leant his head against yours.

“what was that for, bubba?”

“nothing in particular,” you admitted, shaking your head slightly. “just love you, that’s all.”

“i love you too, angel girl.”

taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha

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where can i read this?? the links don’t work 😭

HEART TO HEART ━━━━━ masterlist

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NISHIMURA RIKI never would have thought that being a demon meant he’d be summoned by you on a late tuesday evening begging him to make your p.e teacher disappear for a day just because you didn’t want to run during class the next day

pairing: demon!ni-ki x fem!student!reader

genre: high school au, supernatural au, i hate everyone but you, love at first sight, grumpy x sunshine, strangers to lovers, fluff, crack, smau

featuring: rei of IVE ( faceclaim ), enhypen, yunjin of LE SSERAFIM, yuna of ITZY, ning ning of AESPA, danielle of NEW JEANS, huening kai of TXT, chaeryeong of ITZY

warning: dark humour, cursing

status: ongoing

( started on 23/03/2023, finished on, . . . )

tag list: @sserafimez, @neohyxn, @smh-anon, @redm4ri, @stopeatread, @yourfavoritefreakyhan , @saiewithakatana , @kyuupidwrites , @i-dont-know-me-either , @aestheticsluut , @certainyouthpeanut , @deadgirlwalking3 , @stopeatread, @4imhry, @1-800shutthefuckup, @moonshoon, @tzuyusluv, @j-wyoung, @strwberrydinosaur, @soobiverse, @astrae4, @ensrfm, @kimipxl, @imasimplol, @vlvtrkii, @enhafika, @maerijw, @arizzu, @txtmetonight, @dimplewonie, @catryu, @wonyoungsvirus, @haewonluvr, @artstaeh, @softpia, @zzzhoonie, @witzys, @run2seob, @beomgyusonlywife, @st4rfiles, @txtmetonight, @ilovewonyo, @yumilovesloona, @liikno, @ghostiiess, @noonaslvr, @ahnneyong, @ineedaherosavemeenow, @ryomenswife, @wildesreblogs, @sooooob

ENHYPEN MASTERLIST ˚୨୧⋆ MAIN MASTERLIST

## PROFILES !!

beatles dupes

anti yn haters

satan’s children

# CHAPTER INDEX !!

one | strawberry lamp

two | laughing out loud

three | queen ni-ki

four | sugar mommy

five | edward cullen

six | summertime sadness

seven | jisoo the fish

eight | tunnel of misery

nine | vogue magazines (0.4k)

ten | ultimate demon rizz

eleven | the class president

twelve | niki is riki

thirteen | holy eyes

fourteen | nr. 1 fangirl

fifteen | mlp socks

sixteen | bdffaiwlyf

more to come . . .

[ 희승 ] ONE HIT WONDER ꒰ L.HS x F!READER

IN WHICH ?! — Y/n was just a one-hit wonder with her popular track “CRUEL SUMMER” which charted #10 on billboard hot 100. A year and a half later when she releases her second single she’s upset seeing that it’s no where near as big as her debut, that is until ENHYPEN member heeseung recommends it to his viewers.

genre … smau, fluff, strangers to lovers, idol x idol

warnings … swearing, rude humor, ill use photos of yunjin for y/n! tell me if i missed anything else!

featuring … huh yunjin of LE SSERAFIM as Pae Y/n, choerry of LOONA, choi yeonjun of TXT, choi yena, yoon keeho of P1H, haku shota/soul of P1H, lee hyein of NEWJEANS, jang wonyoung of IVE, naoi rei of IVE, yves of LOONA, LE SSERAFIM AS SIRENE MEMBERS, multiple THE BOYZ members

release date … 11.30.22

status … completed 2.17.23

ej note … LETS GOOOOO

disclaimer … this is all fictional

taglist (closed) … @iulrma @jangwonie @cwsana @luvyrin @shinsou-rii @amara-mars @ineedaherosavemeenow @mintydayeon @love-4-keum @kpopx-xlover @abdiitcryy @beepjeongie @rikijackson04 @hyeki @nyfwyeonjun @yenqa @wondering-out-loud @ilvsoup @umsol @amara-mars @trsrina @kokoiinuts @s4turnsl0ver @seesaweun @captivq @wonieleles @kyanmeai

﹙★﹚PROFILES !! — 001 — 002 — 003 — 004

001. love is sour grapes! | smau + written (138 wrds)

002. hi babygirl | smau

003. cosmoyn | smau

004. me and my pack | smau

005. inkigayo jail | smau

006. yeonjun and yn? | smau

007. put heeseung on | smau

008. sunbae | smau

009. SIRENE WHO | smau

↳ new profile : sirene gals

010. pretty girls | smau + written (205 wrds)

011. the new it girl | smau

012. baeyz | smau

013. rene girls | smau

014. wonyoung DOOP | smau

015. bed peace | smau

016. hold my hand | smau + written (99 wrds)

017. SWEET SCENARIO | smau

018. cuter than our maknae | smau

019. SHAKE THAT ___ | smau

020. ex girl | smau

021. y/n 🔛🔝 | smau

022. too pretty to act like this | smau

023. girlfriend | smau

024. heerizzler | smau + written (360 wrds)

025. maknaez! | smau

026. blue flame | smau

027. SIDE EYE | smau

028. k.hiah exposed | smau

029. sour grapes anniversary | smau (final)

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