Toh X Omori

"but they're not canon-"

to u.

they're not canon to u.

we are not the same.

this guy writes faster than alexander hamilton wtf

GUYS

yk considering bruce is such a paranoid bat, i'm surprised he didn't have a whole high-heel wearing fighting routine like he's fought catwoman and other female characters who wear heels and fight, heels would make the training 10x harder and help for everyone to have a better center of balance, as well as good for learning to muffle your footsteps with shoes that are typically noisy with every step; not to mention that if undercover work required heels for some reason or other, the person going won't be hindered by heels

also heels can be a deadly weapon, make the heel part of a high stiletto be an actual blade and ik damian and jason are all for it

which brings me to my conclusion that dick, while being a bit wobbly at first, actually takes to it like a duck to water; cass only needed a few minutes to get used to it, she's a ballerina, heels are nothing to her; surprisingly jason doesn't struggle as much as a man of his size typically would but it still takes him a good while before he's as good on heels as not; duke and steph struggle greatly as they keep forgetting they have heels on; tim surprisingly does pretty well in comparison but complains over how much it hurts and still struggles being able to stay standing when pushed too hard; damian learns in like a week simply because he's too stubborn to admit defeat and spent almost every waking hour wearing them, getting used to them, and training with them (i wouldn't put it past him to go to school wearing some black, easily non noticeable smaller heels just to continue his training)

bonus: bruce, while training them for heel combat, wears heels and makes it look v easy but then one night catwoman comes over or smth and she cackles when she tells the batfam stories of when bruce had asked her for help on that and the many trials and errors he struggled through; no one noticed but during that time, batman added heels to his usual get up for extra training (he got rid of them after he was much more proficient in heel combat but tim and barbara were able to find some old footage of batman swinging thru gotham; there they were able to confirm that batman was sporting some high thigh length platform heel boots because ofc if the bat is going to do anything, it must fit his aesthetic and be dramatic too)

au where childe meets bennett and after less than a day decided to join bennys adventure team and takes bennett to all his business trips as a toy seller because childe sees bennett like teucer and wants to protect him from all the evils

aka i demand a childe big bro agenda where he just essentially adopts bennett as one of his siblings

bennett prob finds out or knew that child was fatui, maybe not a harbinger, but he let childe think he didnt know

razor doesnt trust childe but seeing he treats bennett and even him with only the best in mind and with a bunch of care, he slowly warms up to him and childe just adds another to his collection of honorary siblings

childe finds it amusing how much the two stick close and are comfortable that he teases them about it

diluc has been more on alert because of childe being in mondstadt more often, even used his networks to make sure that bennett and razor werent in any immediate danger and while bennett vouches for childe to diluc, diluc still keeps an eye out but has for the most part let him be

there have been many encounters between them tho and childe will sometimes want to egg on diluc just for a fight

luckily kaeya is there to quite literally cool things down

then when childe meets fischl, listen, she reminds him a lot of tonia in many ways and indulges in the rp happily. he sees it as being back home and playing his role as the knight to protect his princess, and while the princess this time isnt his lil sister tonia, he plays along wholeheartedly

i just really need some childe and bennett being bros and childe murdering having a conversation with people who were mean to benito <3

you, my friend, are so right.

they would almost DEFINITELY smooch.

kinda just imagining them now as these non human beings have a relationship that just kinda is; they never made anything official or 'ended' things, they vibed.

they both make sure that when bruce is grounded, he is GROUNDED. if he somehow manages to get past alfred, gotham would make sure all his masks were missing (or something small like that, annoying but causes delays for bruce.)

they're more lenient to the kids (cause grandparent behavior fjdkd)

i'm pretty sure there are similar hc to this but the headcanon i have about mr alfred pennyworth -one that you can pry from my dead cold hands- is that he's some kind of eldritch creature that took interest in humanity a few centuries ago and decided to become part of human society.

he was intrigued and fascinated by them so he chose to live among them, as one of them. he doesn't wish to alter anything majorly; yeah he's been part of wars and whatnot, but he mainly enjoys watching and observing how humanity grows all on their own.

alfred pennyworth was not his first name, but it's the one he's come to cherish the most because of the memories that come attached.

the batclan know yet not know. they CHOOSE not to know. cause alfred is alfred.

there have been huge uncanny valley-esque moments, but it's wtv cause alfred. is. alfred.

like when the lights always flicker when alfred is immensely displeased with someone. or how alfred always seems to understand the message, no matter how vague, or even non-verbal, you are about it. or how alfred always seems fine no matter how many years have passed. or how strong and able bodied he seems to be. or how he's always there, just when you need assistance. or how he knows where everyone is at any time. or how you would think he'd be a bit forgetful in his old age, but the man remembers every tiny detail, from things like mentioning you liked art to things like what color were the socks he laid out for one of his charges. or how even the gotham rogues know to steer clear of that butler because last time one of them tried, well, they haven't spoken on the subject but arkham staff say that they have been quiet ever since, only occasionally scream for no apparent reason when left alone for too long.

alfred is alfred, any bat would say. and that's what it is, really. alfred is alfred.

extra: when you go to the museum, you can see small little depictions of him in old paintings and even writings about a creature who took to mankind and made it its mission to nurture and care those who were down on their luck and help them achieve a higher purpose. alfred was there for many others before the batclan but he will admit that the batclan is so far who he has become fondest of.

Steve Harwell Memorial Tweet Collection 😔😔😔

the way i would gossip about them with the neighbors

thinking about the fact that from a human’s perspective crowley is just some skinny middle aged goth dude with dyed red hair and a face tattoo who drives an almost hundred year old car to his complete opposite aesthetic boyfriend’s bookshop nearly every day. why? because he can, that’s why.

All he heard was “we’re friends now”

"but tim is a misogynist in the earliest comics" "but dick cheated" "but jason is a manipulive sadist" pookie if you want to be in this fandom as well as to be sane you Cannot take the whole canon seriously. if we all would do that then- well. you can imagine