OBJECTION‼️‼️‼️ nuh-uh But Make It Alastor And Husk

after almost decade of using AO3, i have just found out that you can put it on dark mode.

NO MORE BEING BLINDED BY FICS

NOOO BC HE WOULD!! 100%%%

would post grad kickoff gojo have recordings of them fucking ( with consent ofc!) for something to remember at? just imagining him whining and moaning as he fists his dick just cause he misses her :( oh I need him down in my throat NOW I will give him HEAD!

OMG lol im crying yknow i’ve thought ab this cuz reader’s a film major n i imagine if they were to ever make some sort of sex tape tgthr she’d be sooo particular about camera angles n scene transitions n shit she’d try to make it all artistic and gojo’s just standing there w this dick out like🧍🏼🍆………..babe i thought we were just gonna make an amateur porno or sumn

omggggggggggggghh him moaning n jerking off to her in a hotel room bc he’s away from home n he’s looking at those vids ✋🏼😩 ayooo dont do this to me not while i’m ovulating LOL

sidenote kickoff reader takes stellar nudes cuz she got that exposure n aperture n shutter speed on lock 🧚‍♀️✨😌💅🏼

honestly i think id force myself to work up the courage especially with how shitty healthcare is!

i can’t wait to read more of herr😝😝

it’s tuff writing characters that have confidence n are shameless bc i possess neither of those qualities i have crippling lvls of anxiety therefore i do not feel qualified

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒

With: Satoru Gojo, Sukuna Ryomen, Kento Nanami, Toji Fushiguro, and Choso Kamo

CW: slight fem! coded reader, chasity cages, masochism/small amount of impact play, subspace, frottage, pegging/bottom m! characters, bottom! reader, bondage, non sexual submission, dedgration, use of names "whore, slut, dog, pathetic", choking, breeding, punishments, face slapping, gags, drool, marking

WC: 2.2k

A/N: I have been wanting to make this for soooooo long. Just for me to kinda info dump on you guys how I see them. I will def do a part two with aged up! characters, but I know a lot of ppl arent into that, so I decided to split them up <3

𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

— Satoru Gojo is the whinest, neediest person on this list. He constantly wants your attention and gets easily peeved when you look away from him, even for a second. Also has the highest sex drive, so he is constantly scouting for places to have quickies — he can't help but want to take a break from the real world.

— He is pretty vocal, starting off with grunts and breathless pants until he gets closer to cumming, and his breaths turn into high-pitched whimpers. He also has a thing for begging and being obnoxiously loud sometimes, but it's all for show, and he only does it so that you give him more attention.

— Punishments usually are chastity. Going two weeks without sex makes him lose his mind, and by day six, he is pawing at you or grinding his clothed cock against you. It's cute, but it usually doesn't last long, considering the two of you will occasionally be in public when he gets especially needy. He's not ashamed to subtly rub himself against you.

— I think this is a debated subject a little bit, but I actually think the Satoru has a preference for to bottom! It doesn't always have to involve pegging. Sometimes, he just likes heated makeout sessions while you simultaneously thrust a toy in and out of him. It makes everything more sensitive for him, and he always lets the cutest little mewls into your mouth.

— I do think he has a thing for pain. Not a super big one, but his eyes may roll back if you leave scratch marks down his back, and he may one time or another ask you to step on his cock. He likes how airheaded it makes him feel — his whole body seems to be on fire from the pain, and it's all that he can think about. It's when he is in pain that he actually lets out moans rather than whimpers from when he is in pleasure.

— Gojo is definitely willing to try a multitude of things and has actually done a lot of research on different things. So, the two of you have done a variety of kinky roleplays and bought too many toys.

— He also has a massive thing for intimacy, likes to be touched constantly, or his hands need to be on you in some way or another. Even if you are mean to him (as he asks), he likes it when you somehow find a way to incorporate something that shows you love him.

Likes: kissing, impact play, roleplay, slight exhibition, anal play, mirror sex, light degredation, objectification.

Dislikes: chastity cages, orgasm denial, edging, when you tell him that you are too busy.

𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍

— Sukuna is by far the least submissive man on this list. He makes you work hard for his submission. It is something that needs to be worked for, something to strive for. So, it may take hours for him to finally unravel and bare his neck to you. And even when he does, he may still bark insults because he likes seeing you mad.

— He is vocal in that he never seems to stop talking. He constantly wants to egg you on to see how far he can push you. But as long as you remain level-headed, you will have the upper hand. The second your temper gets the better of you, Sukuna will be back to basically bullying you.

— When you do slowly and carefully ease him into submission, using specific words that will not hurt his pride, he is overall pretty good. He is very needy in the aspects of his pleasure and a bit of a pillow prince, but not horrible. 

— Moans and grunts are only released after you work hard for them. But they are cute nonetheless, low and pitch, but occasionally if you pinch his nipples or lightly slap his cock, a broken whine falls from his lips. But dont comment on the cute sounds, or he will bite his lip for the rest of the session just to spite you.

— The thought of "punishments" makes Sukuna laugh, so he doesn't technically get punished very often. Although, an easy way for him to fall into the subspace is through an intense amount of sickly sweet praise. He hates that being called a "good" or a "sweet" boy makes his head turn to mush.

— Like said before, he is pretty selfish in bed (lol). He wants the attention to be on him 24/7. He wants to be touched as much as possible and to have as much orgasms as he can. So, if you ask him to return the favor, he may grumble just a little bit before getting to his task. But you dont mind it too much, since his pouting is quite cute.

— Bondage is a surprising turn-on for Sukuna. You tied his arms and legs up one time and even put a blindfold on him, and instant lucky he was so turned that pre began to leak from his cock. It only happens on rare occasions, considering it is a little overwhelming for him, but the noises he lets out are beautiful.

Likes: bondage, praise (never admits it), overstimulation, nipple play, when you refer to him as "Lord Sukuna", making you do all the work.

Dislikes: degredation, giving head, exhibition, when you try to bring your sex roles into your day to day life, edging.

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

— Nanami is a living, breathing service sub, and I will never change my mind about this. I think he incorporates it into your day-to-day life as well, whether it be preparing you a bath, cooking you food, or anything that will get him the "You are so sweet, Kento, I love you." that makes his cheeks twinge red.

— That being said, when you are the one pleasuring him, he gets all stiff and nervous. His body flushes a dark shade of red, and he squeezes his eyes shut while trying to hold back his small whimpers. It takes him a couple of minutes to relax because he enjoys the affection, but all the attention on him makes him slightly nervous.

— But the second he is kneeling in front of you with his head in between your thighs, he is as confident as ever. Although he keeps a straight face, whenever he hears your moans from his work, he swears if he had a tail, it would be wagging profusely. Nothing gets him more excited than hearing that he is pleasing you.

— Non-sexual submission is also something he practices at home with your approval. As said before, he will take on chores just to please you and often will kneel in front of you just so you can praise him. It makes all the stresses of his day-to-day life melt away when you treat him so kindly, and he will oftentimes fall asleep to you murmuring how good he is for you.

— Kento doesn't get punishments often because he never really deserves punishments. But, sometimes he will overwork himself, and when he comes home exhausted, you are the one to pamper him instead, which he finds incredibly embarrassing. Washing his hair for him in the bath and massaging his tight muscles always leaves him so confused because, on one hand, he loves it, but he also is asking to return the favor almost every second because it just feels unnatural to him.

— When he doesn't feel like having sex but is still feeling submissive, he will just kneel in front of you while you sit on the couch. It makes him feel comforted and safe, especially when you pet his hair. He usually doesn't talk much when he is in the subspace, so you have to guess his needs, considering he will always just follow what you say without a doubt in mind.

— He is also very intimate and wants everything to be done out of love. Soft touches are essential to him, and even just vanilla sex, most of the time, really does it for him. He just wants to show how much he loves and appreciates you all the time :(

Likes: praise, giving head, soft touches, gentle handjobs, kneeling, nonsexual submission, light objectification.

Dislikes: when the attention is on him completely, impact play, degradation, blindfolds, punishments

𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

— In the bluntest way possible and exactly how almost everyone sees him, Toji is a massive brat. He is a kinda do what he wants type of man but then expects you to accommodate for his bratty behavior. Also would be really into being your sugar baby if you do have money.

— He is a top through and through, but he prefers you to ride him. Likes it when you choke him, too, makes him feel lightheaded and woozy while he gazes up at you with near hearts in his eyes.

— You find out pretty early on that he is into face-slapping. It was just in the spur of the moment when you struck him across the face when he tried to taunt you, and suddenly that man went eerily silent while he traced his burning cheek with wide eyes. You didn't ask before you did it again, and the second time, he had cum from the sensation.

— Likes his partners a little mean and harsh. It keeps it entertaining, and following a strict set of guidelines is incredibly difficult for him, so he often gets punished for it. But still, when the punishments get so bad that even he finds them unpleasurable, he will follow your rules (that sometimes lead into his daily life) without too much of a fuss.

— He doesn't make much noise, apart from his hisses of pain from punishments. His breaths do get quicker when he is close to orgasming, and a cracked whine may be let out when you overstimulate him. Other than that, he is relatively quiet, and instead, he shows that he is in pleasure by his eyes rolling back and his legs occasionally twitching. It's cute.

— Back to the mean partner thing, he does love degrading. When you say things so mean, he gulps and has to look away from the harshness of your stare. Toji likes to be called a variety of nicknames like whore, slut, dog, skum, and pathetic. And whenever he hears them, he just lets out a low laugh and shakes his head, but blood rushes straight to his groin.

— He doesn't want it to be super intimate unless he is in a deep, committed relationship with you. So, in the beginning, he may not want to kiss you that often or want to be held, but if/when he falls for you, you better give this man the best aftercare EVER!!!! He will engulf you in a hug and not let you go, whether you like it or not.

Likes: dedgredation, choking, riding him, spitting in his mouth, minimum bondage,.....breeding

Dislikes: anal play, sickly sweet praise, anything too romantic if you guys are in a new relationship

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

— The universal token sub of the JJK fandom !!!! He is adorable and super well-behaved but a little bit needy. He wants to be loved and praised, pampered even. It's cute, though, and you dont mind spoiling him because he is well-behaved.

— He is very puppy-coded, but not in the way of how energetic he is, more so in the way he is constantly looking for your approval. Constantly asking if he is doing alright and if you feel good. But he also gets so shy and nervous no matter how many times you have done it. He just likes you so much he can't help but be embarrassed when his heart seems pounding out of his chest!

— Likes to be kissed a lot, everywhere if possible. Marking is a huge thing for him, and he will hundred percent whimper whenever you leave a hickey on him. But he can never wait to go to the bathroom afterward so that he can see all the places you marked him, wearing the biggest blush on his face but completely content. It shows that you love him, and the reassurance sends his head spinning.

— Choso also likes oral, both receiving and giving. Although he does have a preference of receiving just because whenever he sees you in between his legs, he thinks it is the hottest thing ever. And your mouth always does such wonderful things, so he can't help but grab onto your hair and moan out. But he is always excited to return to the favor and is very passionate about his "work."

— The curse is unbelievably loud. To the point where you were shocked when you first heard him and thought he was faking it. Because he isn't very talkative in everyday life so hearing his loud gasp and shaky whimpers every time you touch him is such a treat. Although he may wake the neighbors with how loud he moans when he cums…

— Which brings us to the use of gags! He both hates and loves them, but you find him the prettiest with drool rolling down his chin. The dark-haired man always tries to talk with one in his mouth, but it always comes out gargled and makes him cry from humiliation. But as long as you kiss him and reassure him that he looks very cute with it on, he won't whine too much.

— The mere idea of a punishment nearly sends him into a panic attack. The idea of you being upset with him for something makes him want to splutter out a handful of apologies until you forgive him. You can't even try to degrade him because it truly will make him cry and plead for you to let him get back in his good graces. So he always is on his best behavior, which is never hard for him.

Likes: Praise, hickies, gags, slight humiliation, "good boy", oral, blindfolds, and hanjobs while kissing

Dislikes: Punishments, degradation, impact play, overstimulation, neglect play

NSFW CAITVI FANART

warning: 18+ only twitter/tumblr links below. if any of these links are stolen art lmk and i’ll link the original creator! enjoy<3

͙͘͡★ prison scene w/ caitlyn topless

͙͘͡★ vi covered in caitlyn’s hickies

͙͘͡★ janitor caitlyn!! (who is naked) and janitor vi

͙͘͡★ caitlyn tying vi up

͙͘͡★ just vi naked in water

͙͘͡★ caitlyn’s christmas present to vi

͙͘͡★ with the hex-strap?

͙͘͡★ don’t have to guess the color of your underwear

͙͘͡★ dictator cait and pitfighter vi reunion

͙͘͡★ caitlyn making vi squirt

͙͘͡★ this isn’t sexual but their underwear

͙͘͡★ caitlyn’s daydreams

͙͘͡★ vi knuckle-deep in caitlyn

͙͘͡★ getting each other off

͙͘͡★ caitlyn knuckle-deep in vi

͙͘͡★ vi fucking caitlyn against a wall

͙͘͡★ not that sexual, but vampire cait feeding on vi

͙͘͡★ IS THAT THE SIMS LMAO

͙͘͡★ vi is obsessed with caitlyn’s tits

͙͘͡★ they missed each other

͙͘͡★ vi loves her strap & cait loves sucking it off

͙͘͡★ vi drawing caitlyn half-naked

͙͘͡★ making love in bed

͙͘͡★ isn’t officially caitvi but it looks like them

Kaiju No.8 Scenarios: How They React to Fem! S/o Overheating During Combat

Featuring: Soshiro Hoshina and Gen Narumi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soshiro Hoshina

Even if he was the Vice Captain of Third Division he knew he couldn’t make every miracle come true. He knew someone would be hurt as soon as he arrived to location that called for backup, the location where your group had found unarmed civilians in the middle of a Kaiju attack. He knew you would do something reckless but he wasn’t expecting this, you’d exceeded your suit’s limit, your combat power was still active despite the restrictions being forced back onto your suit.

“Okonogi, status report! I’m two blocks out from (Y/n)’s last pinned location.”, Soshiro yelled into the comm line.

The eerie silence that followed left him feeling much more anxious than before, “Surveillance drones have located her group, honju threat has been neutralized but (y/n)’s suit isn’t cooling down! She’s overheating, body temperature is rising and she’s not listening to my orders to release her combat power.”

Soshiro could feel his blood running cold, it’s been over thirty minutes since you called in to release your combat power restrictions, if you’ve been like this for well over the ten minute limit than you were closer to the brink of death than those actively fighting kaijus. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and sped up his pace, bounding over buildings and rooftops to get to you as fast as he could. He noticed your group from afar, your two cadets slowly moving towards you with their hands raised while you had your sword pointed directly at them. You were hallucinating from the pain and fever, you panted desperately for breath but your lungs couldn’t hold anything. Everything was a blur, every sound set you off, and it hurt. It all hurts so much you can’t bare it, blood is spilling from your tearducts from the fever and blood is slowly beginning to creep up your throat.

“(Y/n)!”, A voice shouted to you, managing to make it into your swirling train of thoughts.

The blurry image of someone with dark violet hair coming in from the sky was enough to gain your attention. Izumo quickly grabbed hold of your blade and twisted your wrist forcing you to let go just as Soshiro landed a few feet away from you.

“(Y/n), it’s me. You recognize my voice don’t you?”, Soshiro’s voice was soft, he wanted to scold you but he could tell you weren’t in your right mind, “Honey I need you to let go, you’re not in danger anymore. You saved everyone here, I need you to just relax, can you do that for me?”

Soshiro wasn’t sure if anything he was saying was getting through to you but the fever had taken its toll on you forcing you to faint. He noticed the way your eyes rolled back before you started to collapse, he caught you in his arms and yelled for medics to get to his location immediately. He didn’t care about the two cadets or about the civilians, you were hurt! You were bleeding and your body was practically cooking itself from the inside out!

“Don’t you dare die on me, not like this. You better not leave me or I’ll hate myself.”, he mumbled against your deaf ear.

Soshiro refused to give you up to anyone until medics had arrived to save you, your fever was catastrophically high so you had to be flown to the closest emergency hospital in order to be treated. Soshiro wasn’t happy, not in the slightest, his eyes were open and showed nothing but rage and fear. He vented all of his frustration out on the remaining yoju in the vicinity and raced to the hospital as soon as he felt a bit more relaxed and level headed. Thankfully you were saved just in time, your fever wasn’t to high that it couldn’t be controlled, the doctors administered IV fluids into your body and kept your room colder than most to help reduce your bodyheat. You were also placed on an oxygen concentrator to try and aide your lungs that suffered the most during your overheat. Thanks to the aggressive treatment you were saved, a week later you were returned to the base fresh and healthy again thanks to the work of the doctors but your Lover refused to ler you go back out on missions.

“Oh come on Hiro, at least let me go out and fight some small size yonju.”, you whined to him watching him suit up for a mission.

He turned to look at you with his cheeky little smile and slowly stalked towards you, “What did the doctors say?”, he hummed playfully, opening his eyes so you could see the murderous glint in them.

You sighed in defeat and returned to your paperwork, “No extreme physical activity for at least two weeks.”

Soshiro laughed at your pouty expression and leaned in to steal a kiss from your plump lips, “That’s right sweetheart, and as your wonderful boyfriend I’ll ensure that restriction gets followed and I’ll add on an extra week for you insubordination.”

“Soshiro!”, you whined, he couldn’t help the playful laugh that spilled from his chest your reaction was just to funny.

“Don’t miss me to much, I love you, see you soon.”, Soshiro waved goodbye as he bolted out the room.

“At least give me a goodbye kiss!”, he could hear you whine from the office, well maybe a few heated kisses wouldn’t hurt. He still technically had about ten minutes before departure. Yeah maybe a few kisses was okay, for good luck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gen Narumi

Never did he think a competition would meeting you to this, you were drenched in kaiju blood and your eyes were black voids compared to the normal glistening gems he always enjoyed staring into. Your combat power had been rising exponentially during this fight against a hydra type kaiju, stubborn thing wouldn’t die and it’s regeneration rate was a nuisance. The more you cut, the more grew, until eventually it was to much but your mind and body were power hungry and nothing would calm you down.

“(L/n) stand down now, that’s an order from your captain!”, Gen yelled at you over the comms but you didn’t even react.

One of the heads lunged at you which drew a wicked smile across your face. You were a blades specialist just like Hoshina and you thrived on the thrill of close combat fights.

“Captain Narumi, (Y/n)’s CP has stopped at 87%. She’s overexerting herself and her timer is about to go off, she’ll be a sitting duck if we don’t do something soon.”, Hasegawa explained firing his machine guns along the neck of the beast.

For the moment it was enough to force you to back away but your eyes darted along the body of the kaiju as if looking for something. Gen clicked his tongue in annoyance noticing what you were doing, “She’s looking for the core.”, he growled, “(Y/n) I said stand down! Back away and get to the medics right now!”

Gen loved you to bits, he really did, you were his equal in every sense of the word but he could never surpass you in stubbornness. He watched you charge at the kaiju with little emotion on your face, your blades elongated against your back and you smiled with a sense of freedom despite the blood spilling from your nose. Every fiber of your being burned but your mind was clear, you could do this.

“Reaching critical, cancellation of combat power release commencing. Seek medical attention immediately, organ failure eminent.”

Your suit’s functions played across the comm lines but even so you didn’t back down, “Just a bit more! A bit more!”, you purred, spitting up blood.

“Hasegawa get ready to catch (Y/n), I’m slamming my bayonet into her and sending her flying your way. She won’t stop until she’s dead.”, Gen hissed, firing several shots at various parts of the hydra kaiju to protect you.

“Understood, I’ll provide you cover fire until you can get to her.”

Gen leapt off of the building he’d been watching from and raced down to catch you before your body shut down on you. That’s when he noticed it, your combat power had just barely reached 90% as you drove your swords along the underbelly of the creature, emerging on the other side of the beast with its impaled core perched on your blade. The kaiju imploded, spraying guts and material everywhere, Gen landed just behind a car which kept him safe from the carnage. He quickly rushed out to get you, “(Y/n)! (Y/n)!”, he shouted, scanning the area for you.

“Gen?”, a weak voice called out to him.

Atop a pile of concrete slabs you sat like a tired child, you looked pale and dazed. Gen rushed to your side allowing you to lean against his chest for support, “Don’t close your eyes Doll. Look at me, we’re gonna get you to a medic and everything’s gonna be okay. (Y/n) do you hear me?”

“M’tired.”, you sigh.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass. Listen to me and don’t knock out, c’mon talk to me. Rub it in my face that you won our bet.”, Gen yells, had it been anyone else he would’ve just sounded mean but you could hear the desperation in his voice.

“Hee loser.”, you laughed finally letting your eyes fall shut.

Oh you were so going to get it now! Gen rushed you to medics himself just to make sure you survived this. No one dared to stop him and even once medics had you in the healing pod it wasn’t enough to douse his worry. Gen never had people that his heart latched on to, he didn’t remember his parents, he didn’t remember anyone from the orphanage, all he had was you.

“Please…(Y/n) baby, please make it out of this.”, Gen begged softly, resting his forehead against the glass of your pod.

A few days passed before any word of you managed to reach his ears, someone informed him you were awake and he rushed to see you as soon as he returned from his mission. He almost slipped skidded towards the door, he was happy to open the med bay only to see your pod empty. “What the hell?”, he huffed, Gen quickly pulled out his phone and called you hoping to hear a response.

“Hello?”

“(Y/n) where are you? The doc’s said you were awake but you’re not here!”

Your laugh echoed over the call, “I’m in your office playing video games, Hasegawa grounded me from mission for a week so I’m here beating your levels in Monster Hunter!”

“I will kill you if you die and lose my progress.”, Gen growled, his eyes glowing with rage towards your betrayal.

“Oh no I’m losing, if only a bratty egomaniac could save me.”, you faked a whine only to hear the rushing steps of your lover on the line.

You were in for an earful but at least you could spend some actual quality time with him. You did win the bet afterall.

when you leave in the morning w/out waking the jjk guys

ʚ incl: gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, megumi, itadori

ʚ cont: suggestiveness (heavy on geto’s), crack, fluff

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Turning off your boyfriend is a power move tbh

what it’s like to bring the jjk boys to…have dinner with your family!

ft. fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, gojo satoru, geto suguru, ijichi kyotaka, inumaki toge, itadori yuji, kamo choso, kamo noritoshi, mahito, muta kokichi, nanami kento, okkotsu yuta, panda, ryomen sukuna, todo aoi, yaga masamichi, yoshino junpei, zenin naoya

warnings: not all of these are romantic! reader is lowkey desi coded in some of them. reader is mentioned to have a brother, dogs, aunts/uncles, and cousins in some of them. reader slanders like 75% of the characters. honestly the characters might be ooc too i wrote this two years ago for fun and giggles and just found it again and wanted to post. also tw naoya!

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

Literally perfect

Your parents love him

Your dogs love him

You love him

Was kind of quiet at first but settled in eventually and opened up a bit

Was still kind of reserved but that’s to be expected from him

Your mother found it sweet that he tried to hide behind you when your uncles started interrogating getting to know him 

He let your younger cousins play with his shikigami so that your dogs could get a break from being bothered

Really liked the salad your mother made and asked for the recipe

1000/10 

FUSHIGURO TOJI

Actually not too bad

Was polite enough and liked the food

Showed your parents pictures of Megumi as a baby

They were suitably impressed

Your cousin asked him where he goes to the gym

He told him he doesn’t believe in gyms (thinks they’re oppressive institutions designed to disadvantage the poor?)

Did give him a discount code for some random protein powder that he’s sponsored by though

Asked your parents to donate to his charity

They were happy to do so and thought it was amazing that he has a charity

You decided not to tell them that his “charity” is literally just his bank account

4/10 for scamming your family

GOJO SATORU

Solid 7/10

Goofs around a lot but he did come so he gets points for that

Your parents hated him at first but then he showed them the album of cute Megumi pictures he has saved on his phone and they switched up

“He’s so responsible for raising a kid so young! And it’s not even his!”

Bullshit

He does NOT raise Megumi and you were the one who sent him half of those pictures 

Demoted to a 6/10 just for that but at least your parents like him

Also the fact that he had an album was cute

Somehow managed to keep the dirty jokes to a minimum

Your brother kept making fun of his eyes being so blue so halfway through he had to switch the glasses out for the blindfold

Surprisingly high spice tolerance

GETO SUGURU

Honestly really a fun guy!

Actually brought his own dish to the dinner??

AND IT WAS GOOD????

Your mother wants you two to get married now

Asked if he could take some leftovers back for Mimiko and Nanako

Which was very considerate of him actually

Your mother told him he didn’t have to return the dishes she packed the food in

Let your brother win at Scrabble

Listened to your mother talk about the auntie drama

Apparently he’s going to start putting coconut oil in his hair now

Your parents are going to adopt him and kick you out

9/10 would’ve been higher but he didn’t beat your brother’s ass at Scrabble (he wanted to “make a good impression”)

IJICHI KYOTAKA

Similar to Nanami in that he and your father got along really well

Your brother called him “goofy”

He had to go to the bathroom and cry after that

He did compose himself and came back to eat

Can handle spicy food quite well

Complimented your mother’s cooking

Brought flowers as a thank you for the dinner

Was super sweet and grateful to be invited at all

11/10 would definitely invite him again

INUMAKI TOGE

Everyone was really excited to meet him

Let your cousins play with his hair and do his make up and paint his nails

Was your partner for Charades and you two won by a LOT

Kept sneaking treats to your dogs

Your mother ordered seafood for him because he could only speak in rice ball ingredients and she thought he really wanted salmon

He did eat it though

He would be a 10/10 but he accidentally used his Cursed Speech on your aunt so 8/10

ITADORI YUJI

Somehow lit the grill on fire

Managed to put it out but he did lose his eyebrows in the process unfortunately

Looked stupid without eyebrows

Spent most of his time hanging out with the little kids

Your family actually really liked him though

He’s too sweet to dislike

Helped wash the dishes and did not break any

7/10 because you almost had to call the fire department

KAMO CHOSO

Showed up an hour late

Was friendly but kinda nervous and awkward at first

Loved the food

He and your brother are best friends now

Genuinely he gets along better with your brother than with you

Impressed your father with his history knowledge

3/10 was too perfect and now your parents keep asking why you’re not more like him

KAMO NORITOSHI

He hates kids

Spent the entire first half running away from your cousins

Once he finally escaped he got along great with the adults

They really liked how responsible and mature he is

Thought it was impressive that he’s going to be the clan head

Your aunt told you that he was a keeper and you should “marry for money, hope for love”

Started crying when your mother asked him if she could hang up his jacket for him

It reminded him of his own mother who he was forced to leave as a kid 

All of your aunts have unofficially adopted him now due to his tragic backstory

Deserves 10/10 just for being relatively normal 

MAHITO

-892378/10 your parents couldn’t see him because he’s a curse

He was very happy to hear that and nearly destroyed your house

You had to call Geto halfway through to chase him off

Your family was thrilled to see Geto again though so at least there’s that??

MUTA KOKICHI

Sent a robot in his place obviously

Everyone wanted to know why you brought a robot to dinner

They thought you had hit a new low

You had to explain that Mechamaru was basically his body because of how weak his actual body was

Nobody believed you

-3/10 he was nice but it was overall a humiliating experience

NANAMI KENTO

Cannot eat anything spicy

Started tearing up at the appetizers alone

Had a massive stomach ache afterwards and his face was red for like twenty minutes 

Your father liked talking to him about business and the economy and shit

Did not get scared when asked about his plans for the future

Actually has plans for the future

Your brother is kind of gay for him tbh (??) and threatened to marry him if you don’t 

10/10 because he still finished everything on his plate so he didn’t seem rude even though he was lowkey dying 

OKKOTSU YUTA

Tried his best

Your dogs tried to leave with him because they liked him so much

He brought gifts from Africa for your entire family

Did stop a toddler from getting kidnapped

Is physically really good at grilling but emotionally cannot handle the stress

Had a mental breakdown when you asked for a vegetable burger

Made the discovery that he really likes corn and proceeded to eat all of the corn you had bought for the night so nobody else got any 

Summoned Rika and allowed your cousins to use her as their dress up doll

Rika was very nice and enjoyed the experience

She wants to be a fashion model now

2/10 he burnt your vegetable burger and you were really looking forward to having some corn

PANDA

Is a panda

Your younger cousins thought he was adorable

You got asked multiple times if he was a furry

5/10 he was only invited because he had nothing else to do and you had to chase him with a hose beforehand because he refused to bathe

RYOMEN SUKUNA

-1244129/10

An asshole but what’s new 

Told your family to “go back to where you came from”

Degraded your parents

Degraded you

Degraded everyone really

You got into a fight with him and Gojo had to intervene

Did ask for one of your mother’s recipes so he could get Uraume to cook it for him

She did not give it to him

TODO AOI

See you thought this would be hell on earth

But it wasn’t???

Played with your dogs

Carried your cousins around on his shoulders

Your uncles were impressed by his muscles

He saved a kitten that was stuck in a tree

Did not ask a single person about their type in women

Annihilated everyone in Wii Sports Resort

Absolutely sucked at Just Dance though

He thought he was too manly for the wrist strap but then he threw the remote into the TV while playing Wii bowling and it broke

6/10 he said he’d pay for a new one

YAGA MASAMICHI

Literally your boss

Only invited him because you wanted a raise

He liked the food

Exchanged sewing tips with your mother

200/10 you got the raise

YOSHINO JUNPEI

Really cool!

Gave everyone good movie recommendations

Someone gave him a baby to hold and he nearly dropped it

Burnt his hand on the grill

Found your uncles’ shitty jokes funny so they all liked him

He was decent at debating with everyone and having intellectual conversations even though he cried whenever someone disagreed with him too harshly

Your parents were very dismayed to see the cigarette burn scars on his face

Your mother told him he could always come to your house if he needed to

4/10 because he almost gave a baby brain damage 

ZENIN NAOYA

Told your parents about your sex life

Called your mother “woman”

Your cousins have a crush on him solely based on his looks

He thinks he has a harem now

0/10 they are all like 13 years old