Franz Kafka, 1912

So many modern detectives have tried to emulate Sherlock Holmes, and none of them have even come CLOSE to touching Benoit Blanc. That man is Holmes' true spiritual successor. He's a silly little guy. He's gay. He's a drama queen. He has impeccable fashion sense. He loves music. He works with the cops but refuses to work for them. His voice is both goofy and incredibly fun to listen to. He sucks at playing Clue and Among Us. He mopes in the bathtub for weeks when he doesn't have a case. He loves hanging out with The Girls but gets incredibly uncomfortable when women flirt with him. The only reason he can afford his gorgeous downtown apartment is because his husband works a real job.* The only thing he hates more than Rich Assholes are Stupid Rich Assholes. He solved a double (attempted triple) homicide and the thing that made him most upset was plagiarism. He supports women's rights and women's wrongs. He refuses to break the law himself but actively encourages his client to commit arson.

And, most importantly, he and Holmes would fucking love each other. If most of the modern day detectives inspired by Holmes ever met him, he would probably want to kill them with hammers, but he and Blanc would probably end up being penpals and sending each other newspaper clippings about crime or some shit. And I can absolutely envision a teenage Blanc reading the Holmes stories and being like, "Wait, being a silly little gay private detective is a viable career option? Well, I guess I've finally found my calling in life."

Anyway I love the Benoit Blanc movies and I hope they make a million of them

*confirmed by Rian Johnson

oomf made a request & what am i if not a slave to her desires

prompt via @incorrect-untamed

Like this if you cry every time. Not at anything specific you just cry a lot.

everyone: which way do you swing?

neil: ...towards the goal?

Full offense but your writing style is for you and nobody else. Use the words you want to use; play with language, experiment, use said, use adverbs, use “unrealistic” writing patterns, slap words you don’t even know are words on the page. Language is a sandbox and you, as the author, are at liberty to shape it however you wish. Build castles. Build a hovel. Build a mountain on a mountain or make a tiny cottage on a hill. Whatever it is you want to do. Write.

He fumbled so many romance opportunities for the sake of his secret villain agenda RIP

i can't find the bracket poll in question right now, but the funniest jiggy fandom moment to me will always be when ships involving him won first second AND third place in the "cql most divorced" bracket poll. truly the character of all time.

A Friendly Reminder

- Deadpool is insecure - Deadpool has chronic pain - Deadpool is submissive in bed - Deadpool is pansexual - Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips - Deadpool is a blonde - Deadpool’s initials are WWW - Deadpool had an abusive father - Deadpool’s mother died from cancer - Deadpool fell in love with a teenager - Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her - Deadpool had a daughter - Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful - Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine - Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids - Deadpool is good with kids - Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong - Deadpool hates himself - Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting - Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead - Deadpool reads his own comics

Conclusion: Wade Winston Wilson is a beautiful man who must be protected.