Residents Of The Library: A Practical Guide For New Librarians

Residents of the Library: A Practical Guide for New Librarians

The books

Not to be disturbed unless there is an emergency

The shelves

Ask politely before attempting to clean, some are exceedingly fond of their dust

The woman in the reference section who is perpetually searching for a certain unknown volume

She will always refuse to tell you which one it is, but it’s good manners to ask her a few times a day anyway

The cat with five eyes

We recognize that this terminology can be confusing, as there are at least a dozen of the cat with five eyes living in the library, but each of them insists on being treated as though they’re the only one. Therefore, each of them is The Cat With Five Eyes

Unidentified cryptid

Possibly just The Cat With Five Eyes pulling a prank

The lost child

At this point we must assume, as the child has not aged or been picked up for several years, that it is not so much lost as it is stuck. In the meantime, until its parent returns, it must be placated hourly with new picture books or tantrums will be thrown

Library patron

??????????

The helpful ghost

A benevolent presence that keeps trying to help shelve books and putting them back in the wrong place. Actually exceedingly unhelpful, but the title makes it so happy

The Stacks Goblin

DO NOT offer food!

Shame on you, there’s no food allowed in the library anyway.

More Posts from Ravynsong37 and Others

5 years ago

beating breath of the wild in under 40 minutes is an incredible feat and also fucking excellent in the context of the game. ganon spends 100 fucking years preparing this onslaught, building energy, getting ready to tear the world apart, and one elf twink wakes up butt-ass naked in a cave and legs it to the castle and kicks ganon’s ass apart in under an hour with a sword he found along the way

8 years ago
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After a really long time this is finally done, I still have a few request projects to work on but this was at the top of the queue. A tutorial discussing the various methods and styles of drawing hair, specifically using shapes, tufts and strands.

5 years ago

why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh

5 years ago
Wow Someone Finally Watched The Most Adorable Episode In Television History ‎
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wow someone finally watched the most adorable episode in television history ‎

‎(ノಥ益ಥ)ノ ┻━┻

8 years ago

vax-ilsloth:

curriebelle:

farashasilver:

karrius:

D&D players will always come up with the most bizarre, workable solutions to problems when you least expect it.

In one game I ran, the party needed to find a magical artifact and didn’t have any idea where it was at all. So they decided to use Commune to figure it out - but Commune as a spell only lets you ask yes or no questions, and get an answer out of it. So they took a map of the continent, drew a line down half of it, and asked “Is the artifact on this half of the map?”. They then continued, narrowing the artifact’s location down further and further, until they were able to pinpoint the exact building in question.

This reminds me of the last campaign I was in, when my husband played a Telepathic Psion. When we were coming up with our inventories at the beginning of the game, everyone else is putting down normal shit like horses, packs, travel provisions, money.

My husband asked for a bear trap.

The DM (who happened to be coolkidmitch) asked him what the hell he could possibly need a bear trap for, to which my husband only said, “You’ll see.” After about twenty minutes of figuring out what this bear trap would weigh, the skill my husband would have to roll in order to use it, and a bunch of other minutiae, my husband had a bear trap in his inventory.

Now, all of us kind of forgot about the bear trap while we were adventuring along on our escort quest (during which my husband’s Psion regularly tried to convince one of our employers that there was a golden acorn/tree of life/fountain of youth/whatever the fuck in the forest so she would wander off and get herself eaten by bears - she was really rude) until we run into a situation where we’ve been surprised by the locals and nobody can draw a weapon without causing a real problem.

My husband pulls the bear trap out of his saddlebag, holds it out to the nearest goon, and says the goon needs to roll a will check. When asked why the goon needs to roll a will check, my husband calmly replies, “He’s being offered the fanciest hat he’s ever seen in his life, and he really wants to put it on.”

Moment of silence around the gaming table as all of us realize that my husband is trying to end the encounter by convincing a goon to put a bear trap on his head like a hat.

The goon failed the will check.

I gotta share The Grand Show story now.

So my D&D campaign is comprised of four newbies, one guy with a lot of tabletop experience, and me, the newbie DM. The crew is trying to break into a walled manor, in part to find out if the Lord inside had anything to do with some culty plot shenanigans (P.S: he was dead the whole time, so no one would have detected them from inside the wall regardless).

I am very explicit to them about the fact that they are trying to break into the Lord’s manor, in the middle of the day, across from the main thoroughfare of the town, with no cover or disguise of any kind, and they are all level 2 - so no teleportation, invisibility, illusions - nothing. They do not heed my warnings, and our gnome paladin and halfling rogue toss a grappling hook over the wall and start to climb it. Meanwhile the other three in the party - a totally inconspicuous group consisting of a dragonborn with a cat, a tiefling in a chainmail bikini, a half-vampire warlock with a mask and a swordcane, and an NPC satyr who was along for the ride - are just hanging out below the wall watching.

After a minute I say, “behind you, you notice that a crowd of about ten or twelve peasants have gathered and are whispering in worried voices. You notice two guards approaching from down the road.”

Halfling rogue - one of the more-or-less newbies of the crew - whips around and immediately shouts “WELCOME TO THE GRAND SHOW!”, and scores an excellent deception roll. Dragonborn starts making his cat do tricks and rolls a sick animal handling check. Tiefling cleric begins pole-dancing on her spear and also rolls high. The warlock starts doing special effects with Minor Illusion and rolls ok. They nudge the satyr into playing music for them, who crits his performance check and charms half the audience as a result. The paladin, from the top of the wall, starts juggling his hammers and midway through throws one at the window of the Lord’s manor, breaking it so they can get in.

I was already going to give them that, and then nearly every last fucking NPC rolled an insight check of less than 10.  So the group also made 10 gold for their “busking” and got into the manor completely unhindered. \o/ goddamnit.

Vax-ilsloth:
5 years ago

Yup. In case you were wondering, this is what happens when you get the horse on Colossus 13.

3 years ago
Just In Case You Forget This Exists.

Just in case you forget this exists.

It exists.

4 years ago

I made a video about everything culturally right and wrong with Mulan 1998!

What you can expect from this video:

I Made A Video About Everything Culturally Right And Wrong With Mulan 1998!
I Made A Video About Everything Culturally Right And Wrong With Mulan 1998!
I Made A Video About Everything Culturally Right And Wrong With Mulan 1998!

PS when I first liveblogged this movie on Twitter, two actual artists who worked on Mulan showed up and added their commentary!

I Made A Video About Everything Culturally Right And Wrong With Mulan 1998!
I Made A Video About Everything Culturally Right And Wrong With Mulan 1998!
I Made A Video About Everything Culturally Right And Wrong With Mulan 1998!

(all included on screen in the video!)

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ravynsong37 - Ravynsong37
Ravynsong37

And here we meet at a crossroads. Three ways to leave but nowhere to go.

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