Hello Everyone! I've Just Updated My "Eldritch God Merlin Befriends A Very Long-suffering Leon" Fic On

Its been a long week. Someone pass me an image of The Character

@onegirlintheback suggested that the machine should be violently shaking, and I couldn't agree more!

Look at him go! :D

Washing machine…. Have you put Merthur in a washing machine? Might you put them in a washing machine?? /lh /nf

Well, I couldn't fit them both in there, so here's Arthur on spin cycle! Enjoy!

i am something

Hello again everyone! Thank you all so much for the overwhelming support for the last part of the "Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot" au! I've had so much fun writing this au, and I'm so glad that you've all enjoyed it too! This will probably be the final part of this au (for now), since I have more au ideas to share with you all, but I'll probably revisit this au some day! For now, I'm approaching two pretty big tumblr milestones, so I'm working on an extra-special au to post in celebration of those (and I won't give anything away, but I think that this new au may be my best one yet, so stay tuned)!

Also, warning, this one is a long post! Be prepared!

Now, onto part four of this au! You can find part one here, part two here, and part three here!

As it turned out, planning a royal wedding was no easy feat.

Merlin had thought that simply adding a quick and (hopefully) painless wedding ceremony at the end of his coronation would make everything go smoothly. After all, the castle would already be decorated, they'd already have all of the important lords in attendance, and everything needed for a consort's coronation ceremony would already be there.

However, when Merlin announced to the lords and the steward in charge of preparing his coronation ceremony that he'd also need a quick wedding and coronation to take Arthur as his consort, they reacted with so much shock and horror that Merlin thought for a second that he'd accidentally announced that he was ordering their executions instead. The only person in the council room who didn't look like death itself had just appeared before him was Gwaine, who took advantage of he shocked silence following Merlin's proclamation to start laughing so uncontrollably that he doubled over and had to grab the wall for support.

Merlin had expected some shock and pushback from the council at his decision, not... this. All of the lords on the council had gone as pale as parchment, some trembling in their seats with fear. What on earth...

"Sire," the ever-unflappable Geoffrey called out, jolting Merlin from his confusion at the state of terror that had gripped the other council members, "while such a marriage would not be unlawful, it would certainly be unprecedented. I'm not questioning your judgement, I know that establishing yourself as a strong ruler this early in your reign is paramount, but are you sure that this is the best way to go about it? I'm certain that the citizens of Camelot will accept you as their rightful ruler as soon as they witness their true power for themselves, so taking the former king as your war prize isn't entirely necessary to show your dominance over the land."

The lords grew several shades paler at Geoffrey's words, and the trembling councilman sitting next to Geoffrey leaned in to fearfully hiss something into the librarian's ear. Merlin watched with growing confusion as Geoffrey's eyes went wide at whatever had just been whispered to him, and he rushed to speak once more.

"Of course, if this decision was made as some form of revenge or humiliation towards the Pendragon line, that is well within your right as a conqueror, Your Majesty. We would simply advise you to take the disgraced king as a concubine, perhaps, instead of your official consort. As a ruler, you must now also consider the issue of one day producing legitimate heirs, which can only be borne to you through your consort."

Merlin blinked, desperately trying to follow whatever logic Geoffrey was using. Take Arthur as a concubine?! Had the old man gone insane?! And Merlin certainly wasn't concerned about heirs, since if he got his way, then his reign wouldn't last longer than this week!

Still, with most of the council looking like they were being plagued by waking nightmares, they weren't likely to listen to Merlin's very reasonable objections to being king in the first place, so Merlin just had to get them off his back until the wedding.

After a deep sigh, which made most of the council members flinch back with a still confusing amount of fear, Merlin addressed Geoffrey's concerns.

"Thank you for your input, but I'm afraid that my decision has already been made on this... issue. I will be taking Arthur as my consort at my coronation, and my decision is final. And don't concern yourself with the topic of heirs, that will be sorted out shortly."

Several lords choked on the air at Merlin's last comment, with a couple outright fainting at his words. Merlin's brows furrowed even more with befuddlement. What... what had he said that garnered such a reaction?! He was just telling them not to worry about it!

(Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Merlin, the lords had a very different idea of what their new king- a powerful, brutal warlord and sorcerer- had planned. They interpreted Merlin's intent to marry Arthur as an act of revenge against the son of the man who killed off so many of his people during the purge. It apparently wasn't enough for the mighty Emrys to defeat his enemy and leave him with nothing to his name. No, this ruthless new king of theirs planned on forcing the former king into a life of humiliation and servitude in the court that was once his own. To a king, that must be a fate worse than death.

These lords, who were some of the most active and complicit members of Uther's purge, looked at the punishment that Emrys had planned for Arthur and thought if that's what happened to the king, what's he going to do to us?!)

The days went by quickly after that meeting, with Merlin's time being filled with a never-ending list of his new duties and things that needed to be done before his coronation, not to mention organizing the coronation itself and the subsequent wedding (which Arthur didn't know about yet, as Merlin had been deliberately avoiding the dungeons after his last conversation with Arthur).

It took the better part of a week for everything to finally be prepared for the official coronation ceremony. The ceremony itself would consist of Merlin being crowned in front of the court (a nauseating thought for Merlin himself), the vassal lords and knights willing to swear fealty to him taking the oath of loyalty, and finally Arthur being handfasted to Merlin and crowned consort.

Merlin was, for once, thankful for the amount of work that he had to do over the days leading up to the ceremony, as it kept his mind busy and his thoughts away from the pit of self-loathing that had taken up permanent residence in his head. After all, what kind of friend stole everything from the person they love the most in the world and then turns around and forces that same friend (and unrequited crush) to marry them?!

Merlin had attempted to rationalize his selfish decision to keep Arthur in the dark regarding his plan to reinstate him as king by telling himself that if Arthur didn't know about the wedding until the last minute, then he would spend less time worrying about it in the long run after he was king again! Besides, if Merlin's plan worked, they would only be married for a day or two, so there was no reason to get Arthur worked up over that by telling him earlier!

Truly, Merlin was not being a complete scumbag by doing this, he was just looking out for his friend's best interests and mental wellbeing! This would all blow over in a a matter of days anyways, Merlin was certain of it.

Still, Merlin found himself anxious and pacing the floor of his room on the morning of the ceremony. He had sent a team of servants and guards to retrieve Arthur from his cell and prepare him for the ceremony, so he likely wouldn't see Arthur until he was brought into the great hall for the handfasting ceremony. However, he still worried over Arthur's reaction when he learned what exactly when was being prepared for.

This worry lingered in Merlin's mind and consumed his thoughts throughout the entire day and into the coronation ceremony, so much so that his own coronation seemed like a blur to him. One moment he was standing in the great hall in front of the assembled crowd of lords and knights, and in the next, he was sitting on Arthur's throne with Arthur's crown on his head, with the crowd shouting "long live the king".

The sound of it almost made Merlin sick. Those words should never be directed at him, but he'd make this right soon enough. He just had to suffer through this ceremony to appease those disloyal lords who had turned their backs on their true king.

Perhaps the worst part of the coronation itself was the ceremony in which the lords and knights willing to pledge their fealty to him took an oath declaring such. It was no surprise to Merlin to see those weasels on the council of lords pledging themselves to save their own skin, but the knights who showed up to pledge their fealty were... very unexpected.

Look, Merlin had assumed that it would just be Gwaine and a small handful of guards and younger knights that he had roped into his mischievous scheme swearing loyalty so him. All of the other knights with their wits intact would surely still be down in the cells of the dungeon, holding true to their prior oaths of loyalty and keeping their true king company.

What Merlin did not expect, however, was for nearly a quarter of all of Camelot's knights to take a knee before him and pledge their loyalty, led by a highly amused Gwaine, who was no doubt enjoying every minute of this. Merlin quickly scanned the crowd of knights, trying to take count of who all had turned their backs on Arthur and could no longer be trusted.

Gwaine, of course, came at no surprise. Many of those assembled were commoner knights whom Arthur had taken in, including Percival, but the giant regularly got pulled into Gwaine's nonsense, so this wasn't truly that much of a shock if Merlin thought about it. There were a fair number of noble-born knights in the crowd, including all of those whom Merlin had noted had a softer outlook on magic. And then, of course, there were a decent number of pompous, high-born knights who had never given a lick about magic or loyalty, they just wanted to preserve their own wealth and power no matter the cost.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the cluster of those knights. All the rest had logical reasons to side with Merlin, between Gwaine's persuasiveness, solidarity between the lower class, or a connection or sympathy towards magic, so they would be allowed to stay in court after Arthur had retaken his rightful throne. But these knights? These cowardly snakes had to be dealt with at the first opportunity. But how could he get rid of them without people becoming suspicious?

... Wait a minute, Merlin was king now! He might only have that title for a day or so, but in that time, he could certainly use it! (And he absolutely was not using this as a tactic to prolong this part of the ceremony so that he had a few more minutes of peace before the wedding began.)

Right, but how was he going to play this? He couldn't exactly just announce that he wanted those knights to leave because he wanted them gone before Arthur took over again.

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the group of treacherous knights and noted how they squirmed a bit under his gaze, with even some of the people around them shuddering. Right, he looked like a ruthless and powerful sorcerer to them now. He could use that to his advantage.

As the knights finished reciting their oaths, Merlin held up his hand, signaling for them to stay in place. The knights did so, but a confused and concerned murmuring started buzzing around at this strange departure from the normal ceremony. Slowly, Merlin lifted his hand and pointed at the assembled group of knights in the back.

"You lot. In the back."

The murmuring died down the instant Merlin opened his mouth and was instead replaced by an oppressive dread weighing down the ornately decorated hall. If Merlin wasn't trying so hard to keep a straight, intimidating face, he would have winced at causing such a wave of fear with nothing more than a few words.

Hesitantly, one of the called out knights stepped forward, addressing their new king.

"Yes, your majesty? Is there something you require of us?"

Merlin held back the urge to smirk as an idea, and a very satisfying one at that, formed in his head. He quietly cleared his throat and put on his most imperious "Emrys" voice that he could muster.

"I can sense insincerity in your hearts with my magic. Just as you abandoned the previous king, you would also turn your backs on me at the first opportunity to do so. Do not even attempt to deny it, you know just as well as I do that this true. I cannot trust any such men as knights of mine."

The group of knights went pale as Merlin called them out for their flimsy loyalty, and at once whispers began fly in the crowd. Perhaps they were intrigued by this show of his "powers"? Were they scandalized by this public shaming of a group of high-ranking knights?

Either way, the knights immediately began groveling, begging Merlin to let them keep their positions, their wealth, their power, but Merlin dismissed them with a wave of a hand and publicly revoked their knighthoods. The murmuring of the remaining people in the great hall grew louder as the disgraced former knights made their way out of the hall, no doubt intimidated and scandalized by how quickly their new ruler was purging his court of the disloyal.

However, with the loyal knights having taken their oaths and the untrustworthy ones having been cast out, the coronation ceremony was now officially complete, meaning that Merlin could no longer stall what would come next.

Merlin sat still on his stolen throne, trying his best not to fidget with nervousness as Geoffrey gave some traditional speech that had to be done before the doors of the great hall opened to let consort walk down the aisle to the throne.

After a couple minutes, Geoffrey's monotonous voice became nothing but a buzzing in Merlin's ears as he stared at the doors of the hall, desperately trying to imagine any scenario where those doors wouldn't open to an Arthur who was filled with nothing but rage and betrayal.

All too soon, Geoffrey's droning speech ended, and the trumpets in the hall announced the arrival of the soon-to-be-consort and signaled for everyone of lower rank to stand. Merlin's heart leapt to his throat as he jumped to his feet, even though he was the only person in the room who didn't need to. Ever so slowly, the doors to the hall swung open, revealing... Arthur.

Merlin damn near choked on his own saliva at the sight of him. He had seen Arthur in a wide range of states over the years as his manservant, ranging anywhere from sleep-rumbled to solemnly prepared for battle. But this... he had never seen anything like it.

Merlin couldn't decide if whoever had been in charge of dressing Arthur and preparing him for the ceremony ought to either be promoted to Arthur's personal tailor or immediately banished. In place of Arthur's usual surcoat and chainmail for official ceremonies, which was what Merlin had foolishly assumed the servants would dress Arthur in, there was... a monstrosity that would haunt Merlin's dreams for the rest of his life.

Merlin didn't even know how to begin to describe it. The garment that the servants had no doubt forced Arthur into, as Merlin knew that he would never wear such a thing of his own accord, was somewhere between a set of intricately intertwined robes and a dress, which hugged Arthur's shoulders, upper arms, and thighs, highlighting the muscles there. Most of the outfit appeared to be made out of a rich velvet, dyed in a majestic royal blue that both looked entirely out of place on Arthur and brought out his eyes like nothing Merlin had ever seen before. And dear gods, was that lace on there?! And why the hell did the outfit need elbow-length lace gloves?!

(The servants who had been in charge of dressing Arthur for the ceremony had assumed that their brutal new warlord would probably want his war prize to look as far from a warrior as possible, in order to further prove that he had beaten the previous rulers. So, they selected a delicate and elegant outfit for Arthur in the hopes of appeasing their new king.)

Merlin swallowed dryly as Arthur slowly began making his way down the aisle with measured footsteps. The movement snapped Merlin out of whatever temporary madness the outfit had sent him spiraling into, and Merlin finally locked eyes with Arthur.

Merlin winced at the sheer amount of rage that Arthur managed to fit into one glare as he took another step towards the throne that was rightfully his. Merlin tried to give Arthur his most reassuring smile, but he was almost certain it only came across as a nervous grimace.

Just go along with this, Merlin tried to beg of Arthur with only his eyes. Their bond had always been one that allowed them to communicate without words, and Merlin prayed that their connection would hold strong once more and get his message across to Arthur.

Neither Arthur's impressive glare nor his furious scowl let up though, but he kept his pace towards the throne steady, which Merlin decided to take as a good sign. After all, if Arthur truly did not any merit to this impromptu plan, why would he still be walking of his own accord towards the altar?

Still, as Arthur grew closer and closer to the altar prepared for the handfasting, his eyes became darker with rage as Merlin winced. Yes, this would certainly be harder than it needed to be, but this had to be done to get Arthur back on the throne! Surely Arthur would understand that!

After what must have been an eternity, Arthur finally reached the altar and, ever so slowly, walked around to stand at a fidgeting Merlin's side.

As Geoffrey began yet another speech that had to be done before the handfasting took place, Merlin quietly turned to Arthur and gave him a small smile, trying to a least let Arthur know that everything was alright, that everything would turn out fine.

That little smile, it seemed, turned out to be the final straw for Arthur. Merlin wasn't even entirely sure how it happened.

One moment, he was standing next to Arthur in front of the altar, with the only sound in the room being Geoffrey's boring voice. And in the next, there was a savage war cry coming from Arthur, who was now armed with a sword, and a decent amount of screaming coming from the crowd.

It spoke volumes about Merlin's state of mind that his first thought upon seeing Arthur run at him with a blade in hand wasn't get back, dodge! but was rather that dress is tight, where on earth did he hide that sword?

However, Merlin's sense of self-preservation wasn't nearly as terrible as Gaius accused it of being, as his second thought was I should probably try to avoid getting stabbed at my own wedding.

Reluctantly, Merlin gathered his magic, ready to disarm Arthur and hold him still if need be. Arthur could stab Merlin later if he really felt like it, but Merlin needed to at least officially make Arthur his consort and heir before Arthur did that!

However, to Merlin's surprise, rather than trying to run Merlin through, Arthur instead stabbed at the wooden handfasting altar, sinking his blade deep into it. Merlin carefully kept his eyes on Arthur as the other man viciously pulled off one of the dainty lace gloves and threw it on the ground at Merlin's feet.

Dumbfounded, Merlin stared at the thrown glove on the floor and then looked back up to stare at Arthur, not quite getting what Arthur was trying to tell him here. Did he just really hate the outfit? Or was it this whole marriage plan that he objected to?

"Pick it up."

"Huh?"

Arthur nearly started growling, his rage apparently rising with Merlin's confusion.

"It may not be a proper gauntlet, since you have denied me such a dignity, but it will suffice for this. Pick it up, King Emrys. I challenge you to a duel in single combat for the throne of Camelot. You may have defeated my sister, but you did not defeat me! I am no prize for you to claim!"

Merlin simply blinked, completely thrown off by this turn of events, while loud shouts started erupting from the crowd. By the time his mind caught up to what Arthur had said, Arthur had taken up his sword from where he had struck it into the altar and was pointing it threateningly at Merlin again.

As Merlin's shock wore off and he finally understood what exactly Arthur had just done, he had to fight back the urge to scream into the sky with frustration as yet another one of his plans to reinstate Arthur as king had just been ruined by the obstinate clotpole himself. Couldn't the prat just let Merlin help?!

With his frustration rising, Merlin glared down at the thrown glove. While a duel would certainly allow Arthur to retake the throne, Merlin wasn't entirely sure how his magic would react to such a fight. Merlin would never consciously hurt Arthur of course, but who knows if his magic would strike out in self-defense?!

And, besides, formally accepting and preparing the duel would take days. And, in Merlin's opinion, this whole farce has gone on for long enough.

"No. I will not accept your challenge."

Arthur's face went red with anger at Merlin's refusal.

"You are just as much of a coward as the rest of your kind, sorcerer! You would not even grant me the opportunity to take back what's mine!"

Merlin bit back a frustrated scream at that. Arthur would be getting his throne back if he just followed through with any of Merlin's plans instead of ruining threm!

Merlin took a deep breath and sighed on the exhale, trying the rein in his own anger. He just needed to go through with this ceremony, and then everything would be fine.

With a quick flash of gold in his eyes, which had Arthur flinching back (and didn't that just sting?), Merlin turned Arthur's blade into dust had Arthur's glove fly back onto his hand, setting everything right as it had been before Arthur had pulled out a sword and all hell had broken loose.

"That's enough! I've been trying to restore you to your rightful position as king this entire time, and yet you push back at every opportunity! I am not about to let you sabotage your own destiny! So, here's what's going to happen!"

Distantly, Merlin heard the wind outside whipping around, like his own frustration and stirred nature itself into a frenzy.

"You are going to stand here, complete this ceremony, be named my heir, and then retake your throne when I abdicate! Are we clear?"

Arthur, who still looked rather shaken at Merlin's display of magic, scowled, but still nodded his head. Merlin, satisfied by this, turned back around to face the shocked crowd.

"And do I make myself clear to all of you?! There will be no more interruptions of this ceremony, and Arthur will take back his throne!"

The frightened crowd went silent at Merlin's outburst, seemingly relenting to Merlin's demands.

Merlin then turned to Geoffrey, who was still standing in front of the handfasting altar with the rope in his hands.

"Now, Geoffrey, I would greatly appreciate it if you would get a move on here. I don't want to wear this stupid crown for any longer than I have to."

The only indication that Geoffrey gave that he was surprised by Merlin's outburst was a mere uptake of his eyebrows, rather reminiscent of Gaius's signature look. Without further ado, Geoffrey tied Merlin and Arthur's hands together, declaring them to be now married in the eyes of the gods of the Old Religion.

(Merlin tried to ignore the hurt and longing that built up in his heart in that moment. How many times had he dreamed of something like this? But he never wanted it to happen like this. This was Merlin's dream come true, but it was all wrong. In that moment, Merlin didn't dare look at Arthur, too afraid of what his dearest friend thought about this grievous overstep of boundaries.)

Immediately after Geoffrey untied the handfasting knot, Arthur's coronation as consort began. The ceremony itself went smoothly, but Merlin's heart broke both at the sight of Arthur kneeling before him, waiting to be crowned, and at the furious glare Arthur gave him as he gently put the consort's crown upon Arthur's head, officially naming Arthur as his heir.

As soon as Arthur stood from where he was kneeling, applause broke out from the crowd. Someone (Merlin heavily suspected Gwaine) started a chant of "long live the kings!", which caught on quickly. Merlin winced again at the chant, not daring to turn and look at Arthur's face.

Still, Merlin reminded himself as he took a deep, calming breath, everything was coming along. Arthur was now officially his consort and heir, and all that was left to do... was the copious amounts of paperwork finalizing his abdication.

Yeah, no. Merlin wasn't going through that process when he could just take care of it here and now.

"Citizens of Camelot, on this most joyous day, I, King Emrys, abdicate the throne!"

Even though he had made his intentions clear only a few minutes earlier, shocked whispers flew around the crowd, like they hadn't truly believed that he would go through with it.

Merlin couldn't help the grin that was forming on his face. Finally, everything would be set right again!

"I am no longer your king, and as per the laws of the kingdom, the throne now rightfully belongs to your true king, Arthur Pendragon!"

With that, Merlin reached up and yanked the crown off of his own head, marched over to a dumbfounded Arthur and, without any hesitation, replaced the consort's crown on Arthur's head with the true crown.

"There, that's much better," Merlin whispered to himself as he gazed upon Arthur, finally looking like himself again, but he was certain that Arthur must have heard it too, as Arthur's eyes went wide at his words.

But that was a conversation for another day, as Merlin was now done here. This entire calamity was over, and now Merlin was going to savor its end.

Merlin turned back to face the crowd once more with an undoubtedly crazed grin.

"Goodnight everyone! Be sure to obey your true king! In the meanwhile, I'm off to bed for my first full night's rest since this nightmare started!"

And with that, Merlin merrily skipped out of the great hall, made his way to his cramped room in Gaius's chambers, and slept soundly.

Bonus Scene!

THE NEXT DAY:

Arthur: Busts into Merlin's room

Merlin, unwillingly woken up from the best sleep he's gotten in years: Ugh, what do you want you prat?! You're king again, aren't you?! Don't you have kingly duty to be attending to?

Arthur: Merlin you idiot, you abdicated the throne.

Merlin: Yes, and now you're king again. You're welcome!

Arthur: But you never dissolved our union!

Merlin: Huh?

Arthur: A divorce can only be granted by the same ruler who authorized the marriage! You know what this means, right?!

Merlin: Yeah, that you can just declare us to be not married anymore and we can all be on our way.

Arthur: No, YOU were the ruler who authorized the marriage, and now that you've abdicated, you can't dissolve the marriage! Legally, no one can!

Merlin, turning pale: What?

Arthur, looking weary: Yes, apparently it's some legal technicality that Geoffrey cited from Bruta's code. I've spent all morning arguing with him, but there seems to be no way around it.

Merlin: So... what you're saying is that we're stuck being married to each other.

Arthur: Yes, you buffoon, that's exactly what I'm saying! Now, get up!

Merlin, feeling incredibly guilty over this entire situation: Arthur, I'm so sorry, I take full responsibility for this, I never should have forced you into-

Arthur, cutting him off: Let's go. We don't have much time before the rest of the castle is up and about, and I'd rather us not be seen here.

Merlin, confused but complying: Arthur, where are we going? Why don't you want us to be seen here?

Arthur, blushing: It would reflect poorly on the king if word got out that he let his consort sleep in this dirty broom closet on their wedding night, wouldn't it?

Merlin, blushing: Ah, I suppose it would.

And that's a wrap for this au for now! I hope you've all enjoyed this story!

A huge thank you for everyone who asked for this continuation! (and holy cow there were a lot of you!! Thank you all so much!)

@magic-mushroomss @miyriu @whole-buncha-snakess @achillesuwu @aerismoon

@tidalwavesandthunderstorms @marki9 @isaidno @retro-wallflower @samwinjester

@lascienzadellafantasia @sugar-coated-prat-dragon @theoldfroglady @ryeallytired @mind-of-a-crow

@whynotreinventmyselfeveryday @likeapaperplane @odinjm @orliththedragon @aglmry

@caraspud @aostrek-236 @justaz @slippysalt @coffee-shop-gay

@the-king-and-the-druidess @theroundbartable @fanfic-library-for-me @linotheghost @scuttlingsleipnir

@guiltyscarlet @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu @247merthur @veryroadpartystatesman-blog @verxen

@lascienzadellafantasia @jareicanon @arrowlovesdragons @juliairian @thesuperstitiousoldelf

@lovermyme @bootprivileges @rem-the-moth @hippielittlemetalhead @ole-to-you-nonetheless

@lordmushroomkat @starchaos01 @reynaharmonia @anastasia0614 @starlight-crow

@wheneverfeasible @savlikesbluengreen @fuckingdeadinsidetm @notquitehumanwrites @purplesandwichtiger

@rocks-d-xerxes @olli-is-a-fish @luluzealand2565 @dangerhumming @tireddruid

@spiralingtowardtheabyss @mundaneone @anxiousdragoncollector @catface233 @bennedict

@elementalpirate4 @bertolio @vadis-protenus @chaosofbelievers @floating-on-avalon

@merthurogies @justaz

And, as always, thank you all for reading through my ramblings! :D

I'll see you all next time!

Hello everyone! I'm back with a (kinda late) spooky au! This is the monster-themed au that won the last poll, so here we go!

In this au, set in season 4 (post-Aithusa), where, after feeling Aithusa call to him from within her egg, Merlin could now sense dragon eggs.

Since dragons mated every year and laid multiple eggs each time, and there were only so many dragonlords around to hatch them, there were hundreds of dragon eggs hidden around Albion, waiting for a dragonlord to get close enough for them to call out to, yearning for the world outside of their shells. And since the dragonlords were nearly wiped out in the purge, those hundreds of eggs were still hidden, still waiting for a dragonlord to call them into life.

And now that Merlin can recognize their calls and knows how to call them forth them their eggs, he collects and hatches as many dragon eggs as he can, determined to bring the magical creatures back to their former glory.

And this goes fairly smoothly, except for one issue: he needs a place to hide all of them. They're all still so young, despite growing rather quickly, and the world is still hostile towards dragons, not seeing them as the majestic creatures of wonder that they are.

So, Merlin finds a hidden place for all of them to nest: an underground cave system beneath a mountain. It was near enough to Camelot that he could visit frequently, and the tunnels were large enough for all of them to have their own space, even as the number of baby dragons grew from five, to ten, to twenty, to well over seventy baby dragons took refuge inside the caves.

Aithusa was delighted by each new baby sibling Merlin brought to her in the caves, and she took care of them as best she could. (Kilgharrah, the rubbish babysitter, was not invited to the nests, as he would surely fill the babies' heads with all sort of nonsense about hating humans.)

And so, Merlin kept this up for well over a year, hatching dragons and bringing them to the nests, where he would be bombarded by baby dragons looking to cuddle with their egg-father. He loved spending time with all of them, but he worried about them too. What would happen when grew too large for the caves? Where would they go? Would they be safe?

But as the young dragons grew, they were content to stay in their hidden sanctuary, keeping each other company and eagerly awaiting their egg-father's sporadic visits. They especially enjoyed his stories of Camelot and his golden king. They loved to imagine the man their father was describing, a man with gold for hair and jewels for eyes. He must be the greatest treasure in all the lands! It was no wonder their great and powerful dragonlord kept him safe in his hoard!

And it went on like this for several years, up until Morgana heard rumors of strange growls and reports of terrible beasts coming from the caves underneath the White Mountains. Upon hearing these rumors and sensing with her magic that were was a small army of powerful magical beasts within the caves, she came up with the brilliant plan of luring Arthur, Merlin, and the knights into these tunnels and trapping them there. Those beasts, whatever they were, would surely make quick work of all of them!

Her plan, of course, succeeds. After all, she knew that using a knight as bait would lure all of them into the caves, and then using her magic to collapse all of the exits was simple work. As she walked away from the mountain, she cackled with furious glee. At long last, all of her enemies were doomed! Camelot was hers for the taking!

Meanwhile, underneath the mountain, Arthur, Merlin, and the knights were all trapped. While they hadn't run into any of the monsters Morgana had mentioned, they could hear growls echoing off of the stone walls, heralding their doom getting closer and closer.

(The growling, translated from dragontongue: Papa! Papa! Papa's back!)

As the sounds of the ferocious growling grew closer and closer, they could see the shadows of the beasts approaching on the walls of the cave. They were enormous, with wings and claws! Arthur and the knights all drew their swords, ready to fight to the end against a mob of these horrid beasts.

As the monsters came into view, the shocked gasp came from the group. Before them was an impossible sight, dozens of dragons, each as long as two men and as tall as Percival!

(Merlin gasped at the sight because his babies had suddenly hit growth spurts! They were so much bigger than the last time he saw them!)

Arthur and all his knights braced themselves for what would be a devastating attack from the monsters, when suddenly, to their horror, Merlin ran out in front of them!

"Merlin! This is no time for your sacrificial idiocy! Get back behind us!"

But Merlin didn't even glance back at them, h simply ran forwards towards the beasts!

Arthur gave out a heart-wrenching cry as the monsters pounced on his friend, their razor-sharp claws tearing through his skin and their horrid jaws opening to bite at his flesh.

(Merlin, meanwhile, was being cuddled and playfully licked by his dragons, who took great care to keep their claws and teeth away from their egg-father's soft human skin.)

With a savage and anguished war cry, Arthur ran forward, sword in hand, praying that Merlin was still in one piece. Jolted out of their horror by Arthur's cry, the other knights follow, ready to slay these monsters and save Merlin from their grasp!

The dragons, who recognize Arthur from Merlin's descriptions of him, dart forward, excited to finally meet the golden king that their lord talks so much about! The golden king was as radiant as their lord said he was, and he even gave a play roar and charged at them! He wanted to play and be their friend!

His strange gray hand-fang stung a little bit when it hit their scales, but it hurt no more than their siblings' claws when they were play-fighting together.

The young dragons had a great time playing with all their new friends, who gave play roars and hit them with those strange gray fangs. Their new friends were so fast too, not letting the dragons hit them easily.

This went on for a while, until Aithusa become too excited by all of the play fighting and accidentally knocked the golden king down too hard, knocking the air out of him.

Aithusa whined apologetically as she walked over to him, opening her mouth so that she could breath her healing breath on him, when he suddenly grabbed his grey-fang and aimed it at her open mouth, ready to strike. Aithusa flinched back in surprise, but the golden king's movement was halted by a call from her lord.

"STOP!"

Everyone, knights and dragons alike, froze at the order, even though the command had not been given in dragontongue. Aithusa whined in apology again. She hadn't meant to hurt her lord's king! She had just forgotten he was less sturdy than her siblings!

"Merlin! You're alright! Come quickly, we must leave before these beasts... why is that dragon nuzzling you like an overgrown housecat?"

Merlin gave Arthur his most innocent look, but it wasn't very convincing. Sighing, Merlin wrapped his arms around Aithusa's neck and hugged her, which caused her to start purring with joy, much to the knights' shock.

"Well, you see, I kinda... found a dragon egg out in the woods one day? And I couldn't just leave it all by itself, anything could have happened to it, so I put it somewhere safe! And then, it hatched! And I couldn't just leave the poor baby to fend for herself, so I brought her here, where I thought she'd be safe and not bother anyone. But then I couldn't just leave her alone here, so I came back to visit her and bring her food!

And then, I started finding more dragon eggs and brought all of them here and took care of them!"

Merlin finished his rushed explanation with a smile, hoping that Arthur would just buy it and not ask any questions, like how Merlin found any dragon eggs in the first place. By the end of his explanation, Arthur had gone from alarmed to completely exasperated.

"So what you mean to tell me, Merlin, is that you found dragon eggs, and, instead of killing them before they could become threats, chose to raise them like they were stray kittens instead?"

Arthur's tone indicated that yes, he had bought Merlin's lie, and yes, he also thought Merlin was a much bigger idiot than he did before.

Merlin just nodded, praying to anyone that would listen that none of the knights would possess any critical thinking skills and start poking holes in Merlin's hastily made-up story.

Merlin's fears were alleviated when Gwaine began laughing hysterically, walked fearlessly between the dragons, and clasped a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"My friend, I knew you were a special kind of crazy for putting up with Arthur all these years, but this! This beats any insane stunt you've done before! You've just tamed dragons, you madman! Hell, you've got them all wrapped around your finger by the looks of it!"

Gwaine, amazed and almost giddy, looked around at the dragons, who were contently cuddling up around Merlin now, tired from all of the play fighting.

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck, nervous and slightly embarrassed at all of the attention. The other knights looked on in wonder as Merlin told the dragons to go off the sleep in the nest, and they all listened. He really had tamed them!

Merlin turned and gave Arthur, who was still looked at Merlin with frustration and disbelief, a nervous smile.

"So, uh, it's probably a bit late to be asking this, but do you think I can keep them in Camelot?"

And that's all for now! I had a lot of fun writing about Merlin army of baby dragons! Please let me know if you'd like a continuation of this!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings!

Are you still working on what to do when an eldritch god decides you're friend shaped? It's really good (not to say I don't love your other fics which are also really good)

Hi! Yes, I am still working on 'What to do when an eldritch god decides that you're friend-shaped'! I'm participating in a couple of Merlin writing fests this year though, so that's taking up most of my writing time. I've got the rest of the story for that fic outlined, and I'll get back to working on it after I'm done with the fests! I love writing that story, and I absolutely will finish it (some day)!

Seeing as how my last au idea, where reincarnated Merlin finds Camelot again, got a ton of support, here's a continuation of that au! You can find part one of this au here.

EDIT: You can find part three of this au here!

Note: Translations for the Old English are at the end!

As a recap, in this au, Merlin died at Camlann and his magic made everyone in Camelot immortal, but they all eventually fall into a comatose state until Merlin returns. Merlin's reincarnated without his magic or memories and winds up as an archeologist working at the site of the ruins of Camelot. While exploring with his colleagues, Merlin accidentally awakens Arthur, whom he thinks is some sort of undead creature, and Merlin is captured by Arthur and the knights along with his colleagues. Arthur and everyone else speak in Old English, so Merlin's got no clue what's going on and assumes that these undead creatures are going to kill him, while Arthur and the knights assume that Merlin has just returned from Avalon and still has all of his memories and magic.

So, without further ado, on to the new stuff! I figured that it would be better to see the next part from Arthur's POV!

For Arthur, waking up had always been a struggle. The morning sun had always been his enemy, mockingly telling him that his time being warm and comfy in his bed was over. But if he had looked forwards to seeing a certainly lanky frame throw his curtains open and wake him up with whatever cheery, inane greeting he had come up with that morning, then that was Arthur's business and Arthur's business alone.

However, when had Arthur sat down in his seat at the round table, barely able to keep his eyes open and knowing that this was the last time he would be conscious for hundreds of years, he was thoroughly looking forward to waking up again. Because when he awoke, his centuries-long wait would be over! His love would be back where he belonged, by his side, and they would have all the time in the world to grow close once more!

And when that glorious day finally came, when Arthur's mind awoke and his eyes opened again, it was to the best sight Arthur could have imagined. Merlin, here in front of him, whole and healthy! Oh, Arthur had dreamed of this day for centuries before his long slumber! Those long centuries without Merlin were grim, with a phantom pain of Merlin's absence lingering within his heart and his life, and the pain was only slightly lessened with the assurance of Merlin's eventual return.

But now Merlin was right here, within his grasp, and they could be together once more! Arthur slowly got his arm, stiffened by centuries of disuse, to move, trying to reach out and touch Merlin, to prove to himself that Merlin was truly here and was not some desperate illusion conjured by his mind. Looking into Merlin's wonderfully familiar eyes though, Arthur knew deep down that this was real.

Before Arthur could get his arm to cooperate, however, four oddly-dressed strangers ran up to Merlin. Merlin yelled in surprise, probably at seeing the strangers running at him, and tried to dodge them, but wound up clumsily falling to the ground instead. Arthur would have laughed at his lover's antics if he heart wasn't pounding with rage at the sight of those intruders grabbing ahold of Merlin and dragging him away!

Arthur finally got his legs to work as the intruders dragged Merlin out of the council room, and shouted as soon as his jaw would allow it, "Gripan híe! Híe syndon fandian to niman Myrddin!"

The others at the round table were startled awake at his shouting, and looked around the room confused. As joyous as Arthur was at seeing his brothers in arms and his lovely wife again, Merlin's abduction was a far more pressing matter. Their long-anticipated and happy reunions would have to wait until after Merlin was rescued from those strangely dressed invaders.

Despite the awful situation, Arthur had the urge to smile at Merlin's situation. It was just like Merlin to get himself into trouble only mere seconds after reuniting with Arthur. Arthur had been so afraid that Merlin would be different when he returned, but it seemed as though that wasn't the case! He was still the same old Merlin that Arthur was so devastatingly fond of, finding trouble anywhere he went!

Still, regardless of Arthur's nostalgia, Merlin was in danger and needed to be saved! After a few seconds, Guinevere and the knights had all woken up properly and had registered what Arthur had shouted, sharing in his panic. However, these intruders were in Arthur's castle, where he had the advantage.

"Hwæt, Guinevere, far to þæm wæpnedhuse and find hwæt wæpnedu sindon gód in þæm stæde. Leon, far and wec þa oþre cnihtas. Hæbbe hí ceorfan of þæm unrihtwisan fleon. Oðer ealdras, fylgað me!"

After shouting out his orders, Arthur pulled Excalibur from its sheath and took off in the direction of the intruders who had stolen Merlin, moving as quickly as his stiff legs would allow. He could hear Percival, Elyan, and Gwaine behind them, their weapons at the ready.

It didn't take long to find the intruders, as they were clearly not familiar with the layout of the castle and had no sense of stealth whatsoever. If they were spies or thieves of some sort, whoever hired them deserved their money back. Arthur just had to follow the sounds of their rapid footsteps echoing off the ancient stone of the hallways.

As Arthur came around the corner to a long corridor, he caught sight of his prey, about halfway down the corridor from him. As they turned back to look at him, he could see the fear etched onto their faces.

Good, Arthur thought, they deserved to be afraid of him after what they had just tried to do. The group of thieves made it only a couple more steps before Leon burst into the hallway from the other side, flanked by about a dozen more knights and cutting off the intruders' escape. The knights made quick work of apprehending the inept thieves and freeing Merlin from their clutches.

Anger welled up savagely in Arthur's chest as he looked at Merlin, who looked rather frightened by this failed kidnapping. He might still be in pain from his injuries at Camlann, and these fools would have no doubt injured him further while they dragged him along with them, sprinting through the castle!

Arthur grit his teeth as fury rolled over him in waves. If he lost Merlin a second time due to these intruders, then there would be hell to pay.

"Hū darrst þū āsceacan hine from mē! Iċ hæbbe bīdode ofer þūsend geara for þisne tīman, and þū ātēowedest tō nīefre hine from mē stelan! Þū scealt āgildan for þis!"

It felt nice to release even the slightest bit of his rage onto these thieves, but Arthur had to keep his priorities straight. Punishing these fools could wait until after he knows more about Merlin's current condition.

Arthur turns his gaze to Merlin once more. Oh, how he had missed his dear Merlin! If only his Merlin's face wasn't marred by fear, but that would change after his would-be kidnappers were safely locked away.

"Nimðað þa ungewelwieras to ðære cyrcan cwellan, wē magon dēmian mid him æfter. Gwaine, nim Myrddin to his geardas and hafa Gaius locian ofer hine. And be mildheort, he sceal hæbbe geferod eft fram Avalon and mæg swilc bēon in pinunge fram his wundum! Gecyða eft to mē mid Gaius's gemetungum þonne hē geendod hæfð."

As hard as it was to part from Merlin's side now that he had just gotten him back, there were still other matters that Arthur had to attend to before he could truly give Merlin the attention he deserved. Still, he knew that Merlin would be in good hands with Gaius and Gwaine, and Arthur would rest easier knowing that Merlin was whole and healthy.

After ensuring that the intruders were securely locked away in the dungeons and awaiting punishment (which would solely depend on how uninjured Merlin turned out to be), Arthur retreated to his study. Now that the whole castle was waking up, he needed to sent out scouts to see how the land around Camelot had hanged, to coordinate with the council to arrange a full head-count of who was awake and see if it matched the last census before everyone fell asleep, to meet with the cook and arrange for their emergency food supplies (which were thankfully also preserved by the same magic that kept them immortal) to be distributed and hopefully keep everyone from going hungry until the next harvest, and to draft a speech to address everyone and get everyone on the same page. The last thing that they needed right now was for chaos to break out, so hopefully keeping everyone well-informed of the situation would allow them to keep everyone's fears at bay.

During his paperwork, one of the guards reported to him that the prisoners were shouting loudly, but in a language that none of them could understand, and they didn't seem to understand anything that the guards told them. Arthur told him to gag them with some cloth for an hour if they got too loud, but otherwise don't bother with it. They could work out some way to get information, like who they worked for and why they had dared to target Merlin, from the prisoners later.

Near the end of the day, had received a report from Gaius that Merlin was completely healthy and unhurt, which abated most of Arthur's fears. However, Gaius also included in his report that Merlin seemed to not be speaking, which Gaius theorized would have most likely been caused by the lasting trauma of his death. A deep pit opened in Arthur's stomach as he read that. He had been so focused on having Merlin back and physically healthy, but he hadn't considered if Merlin would be mentally healthy upon his return. Arthur steeled his resolve that, no matter what condition Merlin was in, he would support his dear Merlin and help him heal from whatever lasting scars his death had left. Merlin had died for him, it was his solemn duty to see that Merlin would recover from it.

As if on cue, Gwaine burst into his chambers, without knocking of course, and gently set Merlin down on the ground. With a teasing wink and a genuine smile, Gwaine closed the door, leaving Merlin and Arthur alone together. Merlin flinched at the sound of the door closing, and Arthur wondered how deep the scars on his mind must be if Merlin looked so frightened even here, in Arthur's chambers, which should be the safest place in the world for him.

Arthur stepped closer to Merlin's shivering form, concerned by the way Merlin pulled back from him. Still, Merlin obviously needed comfort, so Arthur pressed forward and pulled Merlin into a hug, the warm, sappy kind that Merlin had always tried to coax out of Arthur.

Arthur couldn't help the words that spilled out from his mouth next. "Oh Myrddin, hwǣr eart þū bēon?"

Arthur could feel Merlin stiffen in his arms at his words and immediately knew that he had just messed up. Merlin had, of course, been in Avalon before his return, and if Arthur knew Merlin at all, Merlin had probably spent all of his time in Avalon trying to escape, to get back to Camelot and return to Arthur's side. Arthur should have known that Merlin wouldn't like to be reminded of his time being dead!

Quickly, Arthur released a tense and still wordless Merlin from his hold and guided him towards the table, lightly manhandling Merlin into the seat next to Arthur's. Dinner had already been sent up by the kitchen, but Arthur hadn't had the chance to eat any of it yet, so there was plenty of smoked ham and vegetables for Arthur to pile onto Merlin's plate. It was doubtful if there was food in Avalon for the dead, so Merlin's probably starving!

"Ēat, Myrddin, and þæt is ān bebod! Þū eart ǣac þinra þonne ic þē lǣstan gesēah! Þū scealt nū hungor hæbban, swā þū ne eart fēor þæt þū þæt disc fullfremed hæbbe!"

Merlin simply blinked at Arthur and looked at him with painfully blank eyes. Worse yet, his fear was still present on his face. Why was he still afraid? Was Merlin even mentally present, aware of where he was? Or was he stuck in some sort of nightmare conjured by his own mind?

Concerned, Arthur stepped closer to Merlin. However, Merlin still didn't even look at the food on his plate, his eyes stuck to Arthur's face. Arthur tried to move slowly, like he was guiding a particularly skittish horse, and took hold of Merlin's hand to guide it to the fork on the table. Luckily, Merlin seemed to be aware enough to know what to do, as his fingers grasped at the fork and picked it up.

Arthur gave Merlin a smile, hoping to coax him further back into reality. He then guided Merlin's hand, now holding the fork, back towards Merlin's plate, where he led Merlin's hand to stab a nice-sized piece of ham, and then guided his hand to Merlin's mouth.

Merlin seemed to get the hang of it from there, taking the piece into his mouth, chewing, and swallowing. After a quick glance at Arthur, Merlin started eating through the food on his plate of his own accord, which Arthur counted as a victory. Merlin was already showing so much progress!

By the time Merlin had finished the plate, the fire in the hearth was burning low, and Arthur knew that it was time for him to go to bed.

As Arthur stood to walk over to his changing screen though, he heard Merlin speak, which sent his heart jumping up his his throat his surprise and joy.

"Please, what do you want from me? I don't understand."

Arthur whipped around at the sound of Merlin's voice, a sound that time had cruelly eroded from his memories, and he couldn't contain his excitement.

"Hwæt wæs þæt?! Myrddin, hwæt sægst þu? Ic bidde þe secge me!"

Merlin flinched back at his outburst though, stopping Arthur dead in his tracks. Speaking slowly and gently, Arthur tried again.

"Myrddin, hwæt sægdest þū? Mihtest þū āgēan sprecan for mē, þancie?"

Merlin blinked at him again, his eyes filling with tears. Oh no, what happened? Arthur hadn't meant to upset Merlin, he had only wanted to hear him speak again! Before Arthur could try to comfort his distraught lover, to his amazement, Merlin spoke once more.

"I don't know what we did, but please let us go! We'll never come back here again, I swear! Just please let us go!"

Arthur blinked as he tried to make sense of what Merlin was saying. He didn't recognize any of those words. Had Merlin come back from Avalon speaking another language?

Well, Arthur knew that languages changed over time, perhaps Avalon sent Merlin back speaking the language of whatever century they were in now? That would make the most sense after all.

Wait... a minute, if Merlin couldn't speak their language... then that meant...

Arthur frantically set his hand on the table, just a few inches away from Merlin's arm, and spoke as clearly as he could.

"Hwæt, Myrddin, gif þu me understandan mæg, þonne set þin hand on min."

Arthur's heart pounded in his chest as he waited for Merlin to move his hand. He waited and waited, but Merlin just kept looking at him with those painfully blank eyes.

Eventually, Arthur lost his tenuous grip on his grief and rage, and he grabbed a goblet and hurled into the wall with a shout. Why?! Why had Avalon done this?! How could the fates be so cruel as to return his love to him, but place this barrier between them?!

Arthur took a few deep breaths to get himself under control again. He looked over at Merlin, where his lover as practically shaking in his seat. Poor Merlin must have been so confused! To return home only to find that he could not understand anyone! It was no wonder he was so frightened, he had no idea what was going on!

Then, an idea struck Arthur. If Merlin couldn't understand his words, then he would surely understand his actions! Arthur was a man more suited for actions rather than mere words anyways.

Keeping a keen eye on Merlin, Arthur made his way across the room towards a locked chest, one that had not been opened for centuries even before everyone fell asleep. Arthur could not bear to look upon its contents, but he needed to keep them for Merlin's eventual return.

Arthur carefully unlocked the chest and opened the lid, revealing Merlin's few material possessions at the time of his death. It had saddened Arthur deeply, even in the fog of despair that had surrounded him in those days following Merlin's death, to realize that all of Merlin's possessions could barely fill a chest halfway. Even when he was the beloved consort of the wealthiest king in Albion, Merlin lived as though he was still in the poverty that he had grown up in.

Inside the chest sat a few articles of clothing, a couple books of magic, a carved wooden dragon, a few bags, some letters from Hunith and Lancelot, and two gifts from Arthur. Arthur had only been able to give Merlin one of those gifts during his lover's lifetime, but he kept the second gift safe in the chest, ready for Merlin's return.

Carefully, Arthur pulled out his mother's sigil and a delicate silver crown from the chest and made his way back to Merlin.

Merlin was looking at him confused again, so Arthur held up the sigil and, keeping is movements very clear, pressed the sigil into Merlin's hands. To his dismay, Merlin looked at the sigil like he'd never seen it before in his life.

Oh god, were his memories warped as well?! What did he remember?

A thin, hurt voice whispered treacherous questions in his ears. Did he remember Arthur at all? Did he remember the love they had shared, or did he only see a strangers face when he looked upon Arthur's?

At this point, tears were silently streaming down Arthur's face as he swallowed back wailing sobs. He had just gotten Merlin back, and yet he still remains lost to Arthur!

Arthur let out a gasping breath and, desperately hoping for some sort of response, he placed the silver crown on Merlin's head, as he should have done centuries ago. Still, Merlin only looked at him with confusion, and no recognition was sparked in his eyes.

Unable to bear it any longer, Arthur lurched forwards towards Merlin. If absolutely nothing else worked, if this was the only thing Merlin knew of Arthur, then by god let it be how much Arthur loved him.

Closing his eyes, Arthur softly pressed his lips onto Merlin's. Merlin, unsurprisingly, did not respond, likely too shocked at the stranger kissing him. After a couple seconds, Arthur pulled back, not waiting Merlin to get too uncomfortable, and dared to look at Merlin's eyes once more, hunting for any sort of recognition, but only one thing caught his attention.

Merlin's eyes were gold. They definitely weren't golden before.

Arthur stood, frozen, as Merlin seemed to go through some journey within his own mind, his face changing expressions every few seconds. Slowly, though, the golden light began to dim from his eyes.

As his eyes returned to their usual lovely blue, Merlin let out a loud gasp, and looked around Arthur's chambers as if he was only just now becoming aware of where exactly he was. Ever so slowly, his eyes drifted back to Arthur, and Merlin, through the tears that had now gathered in his eyes, let out a gasping laugh.

"Þū ne miht gān ymbe cyssende folc butan gewarnunge swā, þū dolop heafod! Þū ēac næarwe mē ġefēngest þæt mīn heorte ġeswenced wæs! Būton þām, hwæt wōd þīn lufiende gemǣra, þā hērde þone cyning cyssende folc on ætǣlum!"

Then it was Arthur's turn to laugh, to excited and relieved to do anything else but kiss Merlin again, with his love back where he belonged.

SOME TIME LATER:

Arthur yelped as Merlin punched his arm as they were both laying in bed, his lover giving him a somewhat scathing look, the same one he wore when Arthur ordered him to mucked out the stables.

"Hwæt wæs þæt for?"

Merlin huffed at him indignantly, but his eyes held the barest hint of mirth in them.

"Þæt wæs for þrowing mīn ġeweorċiend in þā ġeolu! Hīe wǣron ġeþēodende tō ālȳsene mē, and þæt is hū þū þancast hīe? Nā mā cossas for þē oþ þū lǣte hīe faran!"

Arthur rolled his eyes but complied with his lover's wishes, getting out of bed and calling over a guard and telling him to release the prisoners. Really, how was he supposed to know that the intruders were just Merlin's coworkers? They had looked like kidnappers from Arthur's perspective!

Huffing with amusement, Arthur made his way back over to the bed, softly kissing Merlin as he climbed back in, ready to sleep for the night. Before he closed his eyes though, he called out to Merlin.

"Beheald þū mē þæt þū beōn hēr þonne ic āwacige?"

Merlin smiled gently at Arthur and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Ic behēte."

TRANSLATIONS:

Gripan híe! Híe syndon fandian to niman Myrddin! = Catch them! They're trying to take Merlin!

Hwæt, Guinevere, far to þæm wæpnedhuse and find hwæt wæpnedu sindon gód in þæm stæde. Leon, far and wec þa oþre cnihtas. Hæbbe hí ceorfan of þæm unrihtwisan fleon. Oðer ealdras, fylgað me! = Guinevere, please go to the armory and find whatever weapons are still in decent condition. Leon, go wake up and gather the other knights. Have them cut off the intruders' escape. The rest of you, follow me!

Hū darrst þū āsceacan hine from mē! Iċ hæbbe bīdode ofer þūsend geara for þisne tīman, and þū ātēowedest tō nīefre hine from mē stelan! Þū scealt āgildan for þis! = How dare you try to take him from me! I have waited over a thousand years for this moment, and you've attempted to steal him from me! You must pay for this!

Nimðað þa ungewelwieras to ðære cyrcan cwellan, wē magon dēmian mid him æfter. Gwaine, nim Myrddin to his geardas and hafa Gaius locian ofer hine. And be mildheort, he sceal hæbbe geferod eft fram Avalon and mæg swilc bēon in pinunge fram his wundum! Gecyða eft to mē mid Gaius's gemetungum þonne hē geendod hæfð. = Take the intruders to the dungeon cells, we can deal with them later. Gwaine, take Merlin to his chambers and have Gaius look over him. And be gentle, he must have just come back from Avalon and could still be in pain from his wounds! Report back to me with Gaius's findings when he's done.

Oh Myrddin, hwǣr eart þū bēon = Oh Merlin, where have you been?

Ēat, Merlin, and þæt is ān bebod! Þū eart ǣac þinra þonne ic þē lǣstan gesēah! Þū scealt nū hungor hæbban, swā þū ne eart fēor þæt þū þæt disc fullfremed hæbbe! = Eat, Merlin, and that's an order! You're even skinnier than the last time I saw you! You must be hungry now, so you're not leaving until I see that you've finished that plate!

Hwæt wæs þæt?! Myrddin, hwæt sægst þu? Ic bidde þe secge me! = What was that?! Merlin, what did you say? Please tell me!

Myrddin, hwæt sægdest þū? Mihtest þū āgēan sprecan for mē, þancie? = Merlin, what did you say? Could you try to speak again for me, please?

Hwæt, Myrddin, gif þu me understandan mæg, þonne set þin hand on min. = Merlin, if you can understand me at all, then put your hand in mine.

Þū ne miht gān ymbe cyssende folc butan gewarnunge swā, þū dolop heafod! Þū ēac næarwe mē ġefēngest þæt mīn heorte ġeswenced wæs! Būton þām, hwæt wōd þīn lufiende gemǣra, þā hērde þone cyning cyssende folc on ætǣlum! = You can't just go around kissing people without warning like that, you dollop head! You almost gave me a heart attack! Besides, what would your loving consort think, hearing about the king kissing people at random!

Hwæt wæs þæt for? = What was that for?

Þæt wæs for þrowing mīn ġeweorċiend in þā ġeolu! Hīe wǣron ġeþēodende tō ālȳsene mē, and þæt is hū þū þancast hīe? Nā mā cossas for þē oþ þū lǣte hīe faran! = That was for throwing my coworkers in the dungeons! They were trying to save me, and that's how you thank them? No more kisses for you until you let them go!

Beheald þū mē þæt þū beōn hēr þonne ic āwacige? = Promise me that you'll be here when I wake up?

Ic behēte. = I promise.

And that's a wrap! Man, this thing quickly spiraled out of control. What was supposed to be a short and sweet prompt evolved into this beast of a post. Well, I hoped you liked this au!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

Also, here's everyone who asked for this continuation (and if I forgot to tag someone, I am so sorry, there were a lot of you who asked for a part 2 and I couldn't really keep track of them all 😭): @valiantkittenwitch @gaiussleechtank @laundryandtaxesworld @ath99 @dont-know-how-this-works @young-skam @authenticblob @regulusrules @linotheghost @olidun @championrevali @lil-gremlin-things @hopeaha @mitoconniedria @candlemouse @starlightdreams-blog @todolist-nothing07 @princess-of-morkva @mortalmab @livewondrousss @araevenn @shesthewindandsea @that-ghost-bitch @myself-being @queencutl @hakka84 @asagijing @izzymizzyofficial @thedollopheadofcamelot @lostinthe--stars @larluce ( <- also I'm a big fan of your au's so thank you so much!!) @allisnotfairinloveandbooks @arthursbubblebutt @rain-dragons @ofqueensandwitches @ramadiiiisme @righteous-scamp @cwilbah @merthurogies @merlinrepost @once-upon-the-earth @fluffy-loves-chocolate @lightoftheemeraldstar @tansruduri @avixenk

Also, a shoutout to @theanishimori, who inspired the "true love's kiss" element of the ending!

I'll see you all again soon with a new au idea!

Bringing this one back to celebrate the countdown to the release of Ithaca saga! Only one more day left before the full musical is out!!

Another thought on Epic the Musical, do you want to know one detail that kills me every time?

If you look at the titles of the songs, the ONLY songs that are named after characters are songs that are named after monsters that are trying to slaughter as many people as possible (like Polyphemus, Scylla, and Charybdis). No human character or even any god gets a song named after them, only the monsters do.

But (MINOR SPOILER AHEAD), do you know what song 38 is titled? Odysseus.

Odysseus, the man made monster, who has become something so far from his own humanity that he is counted within the ranks of the terrible monsters that came earlier in the story. Odysseus, who will absolutely be trying to slaughter as many suitors as possible when he returns to Ithaca.

It's such a small detail, but it gets me every time I think about it! Because not only has Odysseus become a monster in the eyes of the other characters, but he has become one in the eyes of THE VERY MUSICAL ITSELF!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Hello everyone! Since the "Morgana wants to be allies with Emrys" au received so much support, here's a continuation of that au!

NOTE: You can find part one of this au here!

To recap, in this au, Morgana is never told that Emrys is her doom, and instead assumes that the whole "Emrys is your destiny" thing means that she needs Emrys as her ally in order to achieve her destiny and conquer Camelot. She seeks out Emrys to no avail, but Mordred reveals to her that Merlin is Emrys. She then tries to get Merlin to join her, but he refuses. So, Morgana is trying to fight Arthur for Merlin's friendship so that she can finally take Camelot for herself.

Without further ado, onto the new stuff! Arthur and Morgana first try outdoing each other in terms of physical gifts. Morgana notes how Merlin still lives in relatively poor conditions, so she sends him things like nicer clothes, magic books, and the severed heads of his enemies. Arthur, who still doesn't know about Merlin's magic, gives Merlin new chambers, new furniture, and better pay. This leads to Morgana sending him a chest full of golden coins and jewels, and Arthur has to outdo her and give Merlin an even bigger chest full of gold and as send one to his mother. Morgana has her men steal the chest while it was en route to Ealdor and send it under her name instead.

Arthur gave Merlin access to the royal gardens so that he could just grow his medicinal herbs instead of having to go all the way out into the woods, and then Morgana refurbished the castle run-down nearest Ealdor, had it decked out in all the best finery that magic could conjure, and dedicated it to Merlin.

Merlin, meanwhile, just wanted a break, but he wouldn't get one.

Eventually, Arthur and Morgana get the memo that physical gifts wouldn't work, so they switched tactics.

Morgana then tried to appeal to Merlin a different way. If he wanted Arthur so badly, then she could provide him with an even better version of Arthur! Morgana selected loyal Emrys-worshipping druids who looked and spoke similar to Arthur and sent them to Camelot to try and woo Emrys to their side.

Merlin, waking up and seeing six knock-off Arthurs standing around him: Wait a minute, I've had this sex dream before!

Arthur, barging into Merlin's room because he's late and seeing six knock-off versions of himself standing around Merlin's bed: ... ARTHUR.EXE HAS STOPPED RESPONDING

When Arthur could finally comprehend what was going on, he had the look-alikes all sent to the dungeon. He's not sure who he was more pissed off about: Morgana sending those men, or Merlin looking like he was interested in them. But Arthur couldn't stay mad at Merlin for very long, so his rage was settled on Morgana once more. But how could he outdo a stunt like that?

As Arthur was plotting his next move that night, he caught sight of Merlin sneaking around the castle. He knew that Merlin would never betray Camelot, but Merlin sneaking around right after being offered gifts by Morgana is rather suspicious. Maybe there was more to the situation that Merlin was keeping from Arthur? In any case, Arthur had to follow Merlin, if only to ease his own fears.

So, Arthur stealthily followed Merlin and witnessed him using magic to kill an assassin sent by Morgana. Arthur is shocked by the revelation that Merlin has powerful magic, but all of a sudden Morgana's crusade to lure Merlin to her side made much more sense. He now knows that if he loses Merlin, he'll be losing all of the magic that's been thanklessly protecting him for years.

So, Arthur does the only thing that he can do: repeal the magic ban. The threat of execution for his magic is the one thing that could possibly drive Merlin from his side, so Arthur would simply remove it and thus remove any reason for Merlin to ever leave Camelot. Merlin would be happier and finally feel safe in his own home, and Arthur's wouldn't lose his closest friend (and secretly the object of his affections) to his harpy of a sister. It was a win-win for Arthur!

Arthur, of course, faced staunch resistance from the council, but he was the king at the end of the day, and so the magic ban was revoked. Arthur had a whole speech to the people and a celebratory feast after the repeal of the magic ban was signed into law, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Merlin as he proudly proclaimed to his citizens that magic would no longer be persecuted in Camelot. Arthur knew that he would be late to the feast as he spent the next few hours after his speech holding a sobbing Merlin in his arms, comforting him and whispering sweet reassurances in his ear.

Morgana, upon hearing the news of Arthur's repeal of the magic ban, was furious. It was her destiny to bring magic back to the land with the mighty Emrys by her side, and her idiot brother's!

Morgana became so infuriated by this that she marched her army of sorcerers right up to the gates of Camelot and demanded that Arthur hand over Emrys, or else she would march into the land and tear him away from Arthur by force.

Morgana, yelling at the walls of Camelot: Emrys, get out here! I have hundreds of shirtless himbos with swords for you to choose from! Take your pick! You don't need Arthur!

Arthur met Morgana at the walls (after ordering Merlin to stay behind in the castle so that Morgana couldn't take him and leaving a dozen knights behind so Merlin couldn't use magic to escape and follow Arthur like the annoyingly loyal and devoted friend that he was) and tried to negotiate with her, but Morgana wouldn't budge. After a while though, Arthur had an idea.

Arthur offered Morgana the chance to return to Camelot as a noble guest and live within the castle again, granting her full access to Merlin at all times so that she could try all of her tricks to lure him over to her side. In exchange, Morgana would call off her army and send them away and NOT try to kill anyone while she was living with them. Arthur's offer stated that if she did manage to get Merlin on her side, then she could, as she said, fulfill her destiny and try to take the throne from Arthur.

Arthur's logic was that if Morgana ever did get Merlin as her ally, Arthur's reign was already over then and there. If Merlin ever willingly turned his back on Arthur, then it surely meant that Arthur was no longer fit to be king. However, Arthur was certain that that would never happen. So, to Arthur, this deal would keep Morgana in the castle and keep her from killing anyone, allowing him to try and make amends with his sister.

Morgana thought over the deal for a while. To her, while living in Camelot and not being able to kill her enemies and claim the throne while she was there would be disappointing, having unimpeded access to Emrys would make achieving her destiny much easier, and once Emrys was her ally, they could easily conquer Camelot from within. Yes, Arthur was a fool, and this deal was a straightforward plan for her to take her rightful throne!

To Arthur's surprise, Morgana accepts her deal and sends her army away, willingly entering Camelot, much to the citizens' unease. Morgana glares at him and the knights as they make their way up to the castle.

Morgana was given her old chambers back, which hadn't been touched in the time that she was gone. All of her old clothes and jewelry were still there too.

Morgana settled in very quickly, she didn't have much to bring with her anyways. She'd have to have Mordred send Aithusa over to her though, since the young dragon hadn't been with her at the gates.

For now though, it was time to get down to business: she had to get Emrys to join her cause.

Granted, that might be a bit harder than she anticipated, given that the man in question looked like he had swallowed a lemon when he saw her in the castle. Clearly, he was wary of her, but she was certain that they would grow closer, as their glorious destiny intended!

In the meanwhile, Arthur had foolishly given her a seat at his council, so that she could advise them on magical topics and affairs. She did take great pleasure in seeing the lords and knight at Arthur's round table squirm at the sight of her though.

It didn't take long for Morgana to see how useless and inept Arthur's advisors were at actually running a kingdom. Dear gods, it was a miracle anything got done at all with how much those worthless lords squabbled with each other over inane topics! And all the while, her idiot brother sat in his chair, almost falling asleep!

Morgana was about to get up and storm out of the pointless meeting, but stopped when she saw Emrys, who was standing behind Arthur holding a pitcher and looking at the soon-to-be-deposed king (such a disrespectful job for someone as powerful as Emrys!) with a disappointed frown. Wait, this cold be how Morgana wins him over!

She has to prove to Emrys that she would be a better, more efficient ruler than Arthur! Then he would side with her!

So, Morgana threw herself into outwitting Arthur's useless council and winning arguments against them, making the whole thing much more productive really. She strongarmed them into discussing topics that actually mattered and not their own personal petty squabbles.

She was so busy watched Emrys's reactions that she completely missed how Arthur's eyes lit up with joy at seeing bits and pieces of the old Morgana shine through.

From there, Morgana is slowly redeemed as she tries to prove herself to be a better ruler than Arthur. Arthur has trouble ensuring that the harvest will be plentiful enough? Morgana can use magic to make crops grow with ease! Arthur has trouble negotiating a trade treaty with a neighboring kingdom? Morgana knows how to intimidate them into making a deal favorable for Camelot! Arthur's worried about an invading army getting too close to Camelot! Morgana can blast them all away with the wave of a hand!

Slowly, the people of Camelot become less and less scared of Morgana. As she's redeemed, Merlin gets closer with her again, almost sharing the friendship that they once had. Morgana sees this as a sign that she's close to winning Emrys over, so she doubles down. Morgana gets better, Emrys grows closer, and the cycle repeats itself until Morgana finds herself looking at Arthur and doesn't feel any of that familiar dark rage under her skin that usually accompanies the sight of her brother.

Maybe... maybe she could get used to the idea of staying in Camelot indefinitely, at least until her brother got himself killed. But the world seemed to already be doing a good job of throwing Arthur into deadly situations without her, so maybe she could just sit back in Camelot and teach those idiots in the council how to actually get some work done. Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

And that's all for this au! I hope you all enjoyed it! I have a little surprised planned for my next post, so be sure to stay tuned!

Also, here's everyone who asked for this continuation! Thank you so much for your support! @kj-owl, @smileytrinity, @nannersthespellcast0r, @nalua93, @wolfnight2012, @lucifertookmyshoe, @ath99, @thisinhumanplace, @hopeaha, @lightoftheemeraldstar, @valiantkittenwitch, @adragonhoardingstories, @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego, @the-king-and-the-druidess, @jellytamalies, @keenest-of-heart

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

You know, I didn't think that one of my most popular posts would be a joke about Arthur's troll stepmom, but I'll take it!

Now I definitely have to incorporate this into my next au!

You know what's one thing I'm disappointed we never got in Merlin? After the troll episodes, the entire event was never brought up again!

I mean, I understand if the people of Camelot would rather forget about the whole thing, but Arthur had a troll for a stepmother for like a week and Merlin never teased him about it later on?!

I would really like to write a fic or au some day set in the Golden Age where it's discovered that dragonlords got their powers from being descended from ancient powerful dragons that shapeshifted in humans and had half-human children.

And Arthur's reaction is to turn to Merlin and go "So what you're telling me is that one of your ancestors was deranged enough to sleep with a dragon? That certainly confirms my theory that your insanity is passed down through your blood."

And of course Merlin immediately fires back, "And remind me Sire, which of our family trees includes a troll?"

Arthur sputters for a moment before shouting that that doesn't count, she enchanted his father and the whole thing was a trick, before Geoffrey pipes up and says, "Actually sire, as it was an official wedding, Queen Catrina the Troll was officially added to the Pendragon family tree. And as the marriage was never formally annulled before her death, she cannot be removed from the record."

Arthur's left horrified by this, while Merlin's laughing his ass off.

I just think a scene like that would be neat!