Did I Sit And Stay,

words from howl by Florence + the machine

i hate being emotionally deregulated, why can’t people just care?

i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.

she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.

melencholia

Dionysus is so good to me, like what were the chances my sister gave me a vape she didn’t like the flavor of

it’s so crazy how you think you forget something but your body just remembers. had a trauma flashback yesterday abt my residential stay which i thought was weird and sure as shit, two years ago today i was shipped off to nashville.

i completely had no idea the exact date but apparently i never forgot.

missing you michael, and the girl i think i’ll call sachiel.. hoping that a code name that is two layers deep won’t tip anyone off loll

This too shall pass but like holy fuck

IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING THIS GOD FUCKING DAMNED DISORDER I WANT TO RIP ALL OF MY HAIR OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY G O D

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur