Hi! I Don’t Know If You Take Requests/fic Suggestions (if Not Feel Free To Ignore), But I Love Your

hi! i don’t know if you take requests/fic suggestions (if not feel free to ignore), but i love your writing (where the heart is ruined me in the best way!!) and thought you would write this idea super well. basically i saw this instagram reel (and watched it on repeat like 10 times) where a dad tells a waiter that his daughter thinks he’s cute and i thought it could be a cute meet-cute-scenario for eddie (or steve if you write for him)! that’s pretty much it lol, i hope you’re having a good day!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmXJ1_zL9F7/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

This may just be the cutest request I've ever gotten. I enjoyed writing this so so so much. I have to thank @munson-blurbs for suggesting I make the reader Hopper's daughter and adding another layer of hilarity to it for me. Fun fact, this scenario happened to my brother once. Only he was like, 11, so nothing was going to come from it and it was just purely my dad trying to embarrass him lol. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this!

Words 2.2k

Hi! I Don’t Know If You Take Requests/fic Suggestions (if Not Feel Free To Ignore), But I Love Your

“Hey, welcome to Breadstix. My name is Eddie and I’ll be your waiter.”

You look up from your menu and do a double take at the beautiful man standing there. He’s tall and thin, his black t-shirt showing off his tiny waist and the light jeans showcasing the length of his legs. He has brown curly hair tucked in a bun at the nape of his neck, with a few loose frizzy pieces framing his face. The tattoos that are scattered along his arms catch your attention; your eyes being particularly drawn to the colony of bats taking flight on his forearm. But it’s when you look into his eyes that you get lightheaded and forget your own name, let alone what you were going to order for dinner.

Going out for a family dinner with your dad and sister was never something that was particularly exciting, but it just got a hell of a whole lot better.

“The special today is the brown sugar pork chops with a sweet potato on the side.”

“Huh,” your dad hums, eyes scanning over the menu once more. “That sounds good. I’ll take the special and a coke.”

Eddie takes down the pen that’s tucked behind his ear and scribbles down on the pad in his hand. He looks at your sister next and she gives him a sweet smile.

“For you?” Eddie asks.

“I’ll have the mushroom and Swiss burger, please,” El says. “And a water.”

He jots that down as well then turns to you. When his eyes land on you, your mouth goes dry. Eddie shoots you a smile and you swear your stomach is too full of butterflies to eat any food.

“And what can I get for you?” Eddie asks.

A cold shower? A date? An orgasm?

“Um, I’ll have the spaghetti and meatballs. A-And a Diet Coke,” you manage to get out.

“Ah, my favorite,” Eddie says with a wink that nearly kills you as he writes your order down. “I’ll put those right in for you.”

He walks away from the table, and you feel your body deflate, letting out a breath and finally relaxing. You drop your head down on the table to hide the smile spread across your lips.

“What’s with you?” your dad asks.

“Hmm?” You lift your head up and look at him. El is giggling in her seat next to you, clearly knowing why you’re acting strange and bubbly.

“What’s with this sudden…mood change?” Your dad waves his hand around in front of your face, gesturing to your dopey expression.

“I know,” El snickers and you reach over to playfully shove her. Your dad leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches the two of you. He raises his eyebrows at you girls as you nudge one another back and forth with your elbows.

“Well shit, someone slipped something into your Wheaties this morning,” he says.

But your dad isn’t dumb. As chief of police, things rarely escaped his notice. He’s just waiting to see if you’ll cop to it or not.

“No, it’s just…” You trail off, shaking your head.

“It’s what?”

A red flush comes to your face and El covers her mouth as she lets out another giggle.

“He’s so cute.”

“Who?” Hopper asks, just flat out playing dumb now.

“The waiter!” you say in exasperation.

“Eddie.” El says his name, leaning in towards you and wiggling her eyebrows.

“Ah,” your dad says with a laugh. “That’s your type, huh?”

“Dad!” you admonish, face becoming even redder.

He lifts his hands in surrender as El dissolves into laughter. Before, you wouldn’t have described yourself as having a “type” but after seeing Eddie, you can’t imagine having a type that didn’t look like him. It was hard to pick out one thing that turned you on about him the most. The package of Eddie as a whole was so overwhelming that you could practically feel the sharp stab of Cupid’s arrow jammed in your back.

You spot Eddie approaching with the drinks, so you swat at El to get her to behave. She bites her lip and stares down at the scuffed wooden table in front of her, so she doesn’t lose it again.

“Here we go. Water, coke, and a Diet Coke. Your dinner should be coming out soon,” Eddie says. “Everything okay here?”

You’re praying your dad keeps his mouth shut as you smile and nod your head at Eddie. When he gives you a smile in return, El covers a laugh by pretending to cough into her hand. You’d throttle her when you got home. Hopper seems to pay Eddie no more mind than he would any other waitstaff that his oldest daughter didn’t find absolutely beautiful.

After Eddie leaves again, conversation thankfully steers away from your romantic inclinations and into the topic of ridiculous calls that came in at the station today. El also tells you about a school project that’s coming up and tells your dad she needs to get a book for her next book report at the library. It’d be easy to think that your father forgot all about your attraction to your waiter, but when Eddie comes to deliver your meals, it’s obvious he didn’t. Sometimes the universe just liked to pull the rug out from underneath you.

“Alright,” Eddie says. He’s balancing the large tray carrying your plates on one hand, muscles rippling under the skin of his arm as he holds it up. The only thing that tears your eyes away from his bicep is when he places your dish down in front of you. “Anything else I can get you guys?”

“I think we’re all set,” your dad says. Eddie nods and tucks the tray under his arm. As he goes to turn away from the table, Hopper lifts his hand and swivels towards Eddie. “Oh, one thing.”

Eddie licks his lips as he spins back towards the table, a friendly smile on his face. “What can I get you?”

“Oh no, nothing,” your dad says with a shake of his head. “It’s just that my daughter here thinks you’re very cute.” He reaches over and pats you on the back so there’s no mistaking which one of his children he’s talking about.

“Dad!”

El bursts out into laughter as you raise your hands to cover your face, wanting to die on the spot. The heat in your cheeks is enough to make sweat break out along your hairline, only made worse by how fast your heart is pounding. The adrenaline rush flooding your veins is real. Being a high school student, you’ve been embarrassed plenty of times before in your life, but you think this takes the cake. Having the police chief as a father also came with its own moments of teasing and joking, but this seemed extreme even for him. Somewhere deep inside, you find the courage to peek at Eddie from between your fingers. There’s a shy smile on his face as he looks at you, his own cheeks dusted in a light bit of pink.

“Well, that’s very sweet,” Eddie finally says, resting his hand over his heart. He opens his mouth again, but nothing comes out and you realize that not only did your dad put you on the spot, but Eddie as well. “I’m flattered.”

Slowly your hands fall from your face and into your lap. Peering up at Eddie from under your eyelashes, he dips his gaze quickly before meeting yours again. The smile on his pretty mouth makes you feel as if there’s an animal jumping and banging around inside your heart, trying to break free.

“Let me know if there’s anything else I can get for you,” Eddie says before walking away.

Part of you feels a bit disheartened. But what did you expect? Eddie to ask you on a date because your father told him you’re attracted to him? Right in the middle of his shift? God, your dad better give him a big tip on the check.

“You’re the worst,” you mumble as you twirl some spaghetti onto your fork. But there’s a fond smile on your face as you shoot a glare at the chief.

Eddie comes by twice more while you’re eating to see if everything is okay, and both times you can barely meet his gaze. El thinks it’s all hilarious and has a grin on her face for the rest of dinner.

Once everyone is finished and your and El’s leftovers are boxed up, Eddie comes over with the bill. You expect him to put it down on the table right in front of your father, but he walks around him to come up behind you and reaches over our shoulder to lay the check down right in front of you.

“I figured you’d be taking care of this,” he says. You can’t see him from where he’s standing behind you, but El catches sight of the smirk on his face and her expression lights up in glee.

It’s hard to concentrate on anything with Eddie standing so close to you that you can smell the trace of cigarettes under a spicy cologne wafting over you. When he speaks, the scent of mint is added into the mix, so you assume he’s chewing a stick of gum and you’ve never been more jealous of a piece of candy in your life.

When Eddie walks away, you have to fight the urge to reach out and grab onto him and make him stay. El moving the check in front of you snaps your attention back to the task staring you in the face. You give El’s hand a light smack so she drops the slip of paper. You’re able to snatch it up and hold it up to your face so El can’t read it from where she’s sitting.

I hope your dad is currently unarmed since I’d like to say that I think his older daughter is very beautiful. And inquire if she might like to go on a date with me? 555-0527 xoxo - Eddie

Your wide eyes can’t believe what you’re reading. It takes a minute for it to click in your brain what you’re actually looking at. The smile spreads across your lips next, making your cheeks ache from the intensity of your grin.

When the paper gets plucked from your fingers you whine and furrow your brow at your father.

“What, you going to pay?” he asks as he digs for his money in his wallet.

“No. But I was reading that,” you say.

“Well hang on, I gotta know how much to leave don’t I? You can kiss his phone number once I’m done.”

The blush flares up on your face at his words. You weren’t going to actually kiss the paper. But the fact that said paper could lead to a kiss is what’s got you so wound up. Hopper slaps some bills down on the table and hands you the precious check back. You securely fold it and clutch it in your hands, afraid to let it out of your sight for even a moment. El grabs the takeaway boxes and the three of you head towards the door. As you take one last look over your shoulder into the restaurant, you see Eddie coming out of the kitchen. His eyes lock with yours and he gives you that smile you swear could stop time.

“Maybe I should embarrass you more often, huh?” Hopper says from behind you.

“No!” you and El answer in unison.

“I’ll be right back,” you say, glancing back at your family.

“We’ll be outside,” your dad says.

“Have fun,” El adds with a smirk before she follows your dad out the door.

Taking a deep breath to relax your system, you start to walk over towards Eddie.

“Hey,” he says once you’re standing in front of him.

“Hi. Look, I’m sorry if you felt embarrassed or put on the spot. He can be a bit much sometimes.”

“No, no,” Eddie assures you with a shake of his head. “First thing I thought when I walked over to your table tonight was how beautiful you are. The Chief kind of did me a favor, actually.”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad then,” you say, face glowing from his compliment.

“I take it you got my note?” Eddie asks, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

“I did,” you say, still clutching it in your hands. “And I, uh, would like to go on a date with you. So, I’ll definitely call.”

“I get off work at nine,” he tells you.

“You’ll hear from me soon after that then,” you say with a shy shrug of the shoulders.

“I’m really looking forward to it, uh…”

He trails off and you realize it’s because he doesn’t know your name. You introduce yourself to him and extend your hand. Instead of shaking it, like you expected, he takes your hand in his and leans in to press his lips against your knuckles. You’re pretty sure you’re going to spontaneously combust. Or have an aneurysm. Or just flat out melt into a puddle on the floor.

“I’ll talk to you tonight then,” Eddie says.

“Tonight,” you repeat, slowly backing away from him. You don’t want to go, but you know your dad will come in and say something even more embarrassing than he already did if you make him wait too long.

“Bye, Eddie.”

“Bye, beautiful.”

50 WORDS TO USE INSTEAD OF “SAID”

Do you ever find yourself over-using the word “said” in your writing? Try using these words/phrases instead:

stated

commented

declared

spoke

responded

voiced

noted

uttered

iterated

explained

remarked

acknowledged

mentioned

announced

shouted

expressed

articulated

exclaimed

proclaimed

whispered

babbled

observed

deadpanned

joked

hinted

informed

coaxed

offered

cried

affirmed

vocalized

laughed

ordered

suggested

admitted

verbalized

indicated

confirmed

apologized

muttered

proposed

chatted

lied

rambled

talked

pointed out

blurted out

chimed in

brought up

wondered aloud

(NOTE: Keep in mind that all of these words have slightly different meanings and are associated with different emotions/scenarios.)

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queen-honeybee-stories

1 year ago

I loved your blurb on Chris x Reader with ADHD! Can you do one with the reader having bipolar disorder?

You bet-

Chris x partner with Bipolar Disorder:

It’s not an easy decision for you to tell him you have bipolar disorder, but he reacts calmly and acceptingly, easing your nerves.

First and foremost after that, he does a lot of research -- putting effort into understanding manic episodes, depressive episodes, triggers, etc.

He makes you feel comfortable enough where you can discuss with him indications of mood shifts and the coping skills you practice.

If he feels like you’re reluctant to talk to him, he makes sure to remind you he’s always there for you.

“You could never be a burden to me, sweetheart.”

Knowing stress is a common trigger, he respects when you want some time alone to meditate or do yoga, or however you practice relaxation.

Or you have a list of favorite movies that are sure to take your mind off of everything for awhile, and he never says no to a good movie.

He’s more than happy to exercise with you, or take a walk with you when you feel the need to be a little more active.

He surprises you with your favorite flowers, knowing the look and smell appeals to your senses in a way that will lift your mood.

Understanding there are times you feel too depressed to move, or other times you just need to cry, he’s right there to listen or to hold you and stroke your hair.

He gives you hand and foot massages when you want.

Since eating well helps your mood, one of your favorite things to do together is search for healthy recipes and cook meals together.

He doesn’t push you when you feel like you need to be alone though, sometimes leaving him to meet with family and friends by himself.

“It’s not you, I swear. I just don’t have the energy.”

“Hey, no. I know. I don’t want you to feel bad.”

When you’re having trouble falling asleep, he makes sure he’s not on his phone or laptop in bed.

He runs a bath for you using your favorite scents and playing slow music to help you relax.

You relish how perfectly you seem to fit at his side, head on his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around you.

If he wakes up before you, he makes sure not to disturb you, not wanting to mess up your routine.

Sometimes he leaves notes on your nightstand for you to wake up to.

“Good morning, beautiful. I have breakfast for you when you’re ready.”

He makes sure to never claim he knows exactly what you’re experiencing.

“I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care so much about you and want to support you in any way I can.”

~~~

a/n: I’m absolutely not an expert on bipolar disorder. I just did a lot of reading before writing this. If anything seems off, let me know and I’ll be happy to rewrite or take it out.

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queen-honeybee-stories

2 years ago

Joseph Quinn for Wonderland Magazine

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queen-honeybee-stories

1 year ago

104 notes View Post

queen-honeybee-stories

1 year ago

𖦹⋆ ༘ ☼ 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

# 01 — steve rogers x fem!reader # 02 — cw: none, only cute tooth-rotting fluff! set after ca:tws, established relationship # 03 — wc: 1.09k # 04 — a/n: *sing-songy voice* i’m backkk *normal voice* so i know i’ve been pretty much mia for the past few months but i think i’m back for good now. which also means, i'm going to be writing and posting whenever i can, so requests are open again, feel free to send them in!

as for this one-shot (which was originally supposed to be a drabble), i chose stevie to break me back into posting because i love him and he’s steve and i just love fluffy and adorable steve so much. this idea just flowed in as i wrote and i sort of love how it turned out, so i really hope you enjoy! feedback of any sort is always appreciated ♡

steve didn’t usually sleep in. never really had the habit of doing so, and his job with s.h.i.e.l.d. never really allowed him the opportunity either. but it had somehow started happening since he started spending the nights with you. maybe it was the fact that he had finally gotten a free day on the weekend or that he was simply too tired from his last mission. nevertheless, mornings with steve were pretty much one of your favourite ways to begin your days.

so it was pretty weird when you woke up and found steve in bed at 9 a.m., curled up into you and still asleep. the sun streamed in from the window behind him, covering him in sunshine and god, was he beautiful. your breath hitched at the sight of his peaceful expression— no furrows between his eyebrows and no frown twisting his lips— and made the decision to let him sleep in for as long as he wanted and whenever he wanted. you were rather well acquainted with steve’s bad habit for not stopping until he’d run himself completely ragged. sometimes not even then. he could use all the sleep he got.

but you just couldn’t resist pressing your hand to his cheek, thumb gently— just barely caressing the dark bags under his eye. steve hummed lowly but did not seem to stir from his sleep and, pulling your hand away before he could wake, you moved to gently untangle yourself from him.

breakfasts with steve were also an uncommon occurrence with the unpredictability of his job, but the both of you cherished and made the most of every time you got to do things together. even the mundane ones like this.

but just as you began to move, a strong hand tightened around your waist, pulling you back into a firm chest. “where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?”

goddamit.

your heart lurched at the sound of his voice— deep and rich, rough and tired from his sleep. you couldn’t stop a smile pulling at your lips as you turned back around to face him. “good morning stevie,” you hummed quietly, hand raising to press against his cheek.

steve tightened his arm around your waist until you were pressed up entirely into him, and then pressed his face into the crook of your neck. “good morning my love,” he mumbled, “care to tell me why you were abandoning me in bed like this?”

you huffed a laugh. it wasn’t a long shot to say steve got a bit dramatic sometimes, usually when it was just the two of you and especially when he was fishing for some love. “hush, you big baby. i just wanted to go get breakfast started.”

“breakfast can wait, i wanna stay in bed with you for a bit longer.” he moved his face and brushed his nose against yours, before pecking your lips softly. “please y/n/n?”

the world could’ve been coming to an end, and with the way steve was looking at you— golden hair mussed from sleep, the prettiest blue eyes still sleepy but soft as they gazed upon you, and his lips pulled into a tiny pout— there was no way in hell you would’ve refused him.

“alright darling, we can stay in for as long as you want.”

his hand squeezed your hips in thanks before he pressed his face into her hair. he inhaled, his strong chest rising and falling under her hands, and then he spoke, “i hate that we don't get more of such mornings. i can’t get enough of you like this. when there’s no hurry for me to rush somewhere, when it’s just the two of us.”

you sighed quietly. you knew how much steve hated not being able to spend enough time with you because of his job. he always beat himself up over missed dates, movie nights and the time lost, despite you knowing steve couldn’t help it and never giving him any grief over it. besides, you knew steve would never be able to rest without having done his best to help in any situation. that was one of the traits that simply made him so special. something that made him him. plus, he never missed any chance to make up for it, and damn did he do a good job at it.

“i know, my love.” you moved so you could look him in the eyes, rubbing his hands over his shoulders and biceps. “someday, we will get all the time we want for ourselves. but until then, i don’t mind sharing you with the world a bit longer.”

he smiled softly. “i love you, y'know that?”

you hummed your reply and pressed closer before putting your lips to his in a soft kiss. steve made a soft sound in his chest that had your heart lurching in your chest. his hand skimmed up and down your back, fingers spreading wide over the fabric of the t-shirt you’d stolen from him, before they finally settled on your waist again. his fingers scrunched your t-shirt, pulling you impossibly closer as the kiss grew heated; another sound leaving him, this one louder, as your fingers found his hair, nails scratching gently at his scalp. the sound jolted you out of the trance steve’s touch never failed to put you in. you gasped as you pulled your lips from his and ignoring steve’s unhappy whine, you settled back into the mattress after putting some distance between your faces.

“is this why you’ve been trying to keep me in your bed, captain?” you murmured, swiping your thumb on steve’s lower lip as you looked up at him coyly. if staying in bed is what he wanted, you could at least tease him a bit first.

he groaned quietly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly after eyeing the smirk pulling at your lips. what was he doing playing a game he knew he’d never win?

“i was only hopin’ for some snuggles from my best girl,” he murmured, tucking some hair out of your eyes. “but you know i’d be the last person to say no to more, sweetheart.”

“mhm, i see that with your eagerness.” you laughed finally, leaning up to press kisses across his cheeks. hearing a big, burly man like steve ask for snuggles was just enough to crack your resolve. "you can have your snuggles, stevie."

steve chuckled as he pulled you closer and on top of him, and the sound filled your heart with so much love you could feel it vibrating throughout your entire body.

yeah, mornings with steve were definitely your favourite way to start your days.

taglist @demigoddess-of-ghosts (you filled out my taglist form for steve like months ago, so i have no idea if you still wanna be tagged, but i hope this is fine bae <3)

feel free to comment if anyone else would like to be added!

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queen-honeybee-stories

2 years ago

This is my first time writing for Steddie, so sorry if it's shit! Based on this post.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No one had ever seen Steve cry, and at this point they weren’t sure it was even something he was capable of. So, as he stood over Eddie’s open casket with the only dry eyes in the room, no one really batted an eye.

It had been 3 weeks since Steve had carried the metalhead’s body out of the Upside Down, with Dustin leaning heavily into a misty eyed Robin and Nancy as he limped alongside them, tears still streaming from his eyes. Steve hadn’t shed a tear then, and he didn’t shed one now. It wasn’t because he didn’t care for Eddie, in fact he probably cared for him far more than he’d admit to even himself, but something just didn’t feel right. It was hard to grieve for someone when it didn’t truly feel like they were gone.

Eddie’s uncle had arranged the funeral to be a quiet affair, hoping to minimize the chances of any angry hicks’ gate crashing. So it was held in a small room at the morgue, with only close friends and family in attendance.

After a short speech from Wayne, everyone filtered through to say their own goodbyes. Mike and Lucas both stood by the casket momentarily, gripping the sides and saying their own quiet goodbyes. Erica didn’t say much, just placed a small black dice beside one of his hands before nodding down at him. Nancy went up with Johnathan and whispered a quiet thank you, letting her hands brush a stray lock of hair from his face. Dustin stood there in silence just staring down at Eddie’s still form before choking out a promise to look after Eddie’s ‘little sheep’. And then it was just Steve and Robin left in the room. Robin tugged on his sleeve, looking up at him with big pleading eyes until he nodded and walked up with her, he stood beside her as she whispered a soft goodbye, eyes then looking to him to do the same.

“Could I… I just need a moment with him, if that’s okay?” he said quietly, smiling gratefully as Robin just squeezed his hand and nodded before also exiting the room.

Eyes doing a quick check around the room to make sure there was nobody left to witness what he was about to say, Steve let his hands rest against the wood of the casket and leant down towards the long-haired man.

“Okay, you listen here you little shit, I know you’re not dead.” Steve whispered; eyes firmly trained now on Eddie’s face. His grip against the wood only getting tighter as the silence stretched on.

“Fuck.” he breathed, hanging his head at the lack of response, before turning to start walking away.

“Yeah, no shit Harrington.” Came the gravelly response from behind him, stopping him in his tracks.

As he slowly turned on his heel, he watched as Eddie pushed himself up into a sitting position, an almost familiar grin on his face had it not been for what looks like two fangs pushing down over his lower lip.

“What the hell, man?” Steve exclaimed, almost storming back over to the casket and taking Eddie’s face in his hands and tilting him from left to right to get a better look.

“Nice to see you too, Stevie.” Eddie murmured; cheeks being squished slightly by Steve’s grip on him.

“How long have you been, well not dead?” Steve huffed; brows furrowed as he let his gaze roam over the other man’s body.

“Honestly man, I have no clue. I woke up a couple of times, but this has been the first time I was actually able to move. Fuck, it really hurts dying y’know.” Eddie groaned, stretching all his limbs out and rolling his shoulders as he let his hands pick at the tight material of the black jacket he was dressed in, “Of course Wayne would take this opportunity to get me in a suit, I love the old man, but shit.”

“Really? I don’t think our biggest problem right now is your style choices, you’ve literally come back from the dead man.” Steve grumbled with a hand nervously running through his hair.

“Ooo, now that’s where you’re wrong Stevie boy, it’s always about the style choices.” Eddie grinned, loosening the tie that was around his neck with a grimace, "Anyway, what's the plan for breaking me out of here? Cus I don't know about you man, but I don't exactly love the thought of being buried alive."

“Look, you’re not meant to be being buried until tomorrow, can you just hang tight for a few hours? I can come by later tonight and sneak you out when there's nobody around” Steve said, hands landing like a disappointed parent on his hips.

“Harrington. You cannot be asking me to, what? Play dead?” Eddie scoffed, the realization slowly showing on his face as he realised that Steve was deadly serious. “Nah man, come on, there’s gotta be a better way than that?”

“Well, unfortunately for you, I don't think there is. You’ll get recognized the second you step out those doors, and I don’t know about you man, but I’m not exactly in the mood for a lynch mob right about now.” Steve said, raising an eyebrow as Eddie visibly deflated.

“Fine. Fine, but you better come back for me Harrington!” Eddie sighed, pointing an accusatory finger at the other man as he lay back down with a huff.

“Always, Munson.” Steve replied, knocking his knuckles against the side of the casket with a soft smile, missing the slight pink that rose in Eddie’s cheeks as he slipped out the room.

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queen-honeybee-stories

9 months ago

He Needs the Calories

It's just silly Steve Rogers fluff based on my favorite joke this holiday...

Summary: Steve has his own tradition the night before the Fourth.

Entirely, utterly stupid, and I don't care because it made me smile. Enjoy! WC ~1k

"What the hell is all this?" you screech at Steve, finding an eleventh gallon bag of cookies tucked in a basket at the bottom of the pantry. "Why do you have a metric ton of...what? Sugar cookies? Cutouts, snickerdoodles, thumbprints? My god, what are you doing? Running your own bake sale?"

Steve's eyes shift guiltily from where you stand to the fridge and back.

You drop the bag of peanut butter chocolate chip treats and step backward to open the french doors.

"What's in here, Steve?"

"Nothing," he rushes.

"What's in the fridge, Steve?!"

He jumps to push the door shut before you can peak in. "It's not a big deal, ok? You don't wanna see."

This is starting to feel like the end of the movie Seven. What's in the cold box?! What's in the box, man?

Steve might be clearly ashamed and hoping you give up, but he uses no force to stop you. His bright blue eyes simply plead for your understanding.

Crammed into the tallest shelf are five--count 'em, five giant pitchers of...milk.

It's not store containers though; they're the type you make your own drinks in.

"Wha...."

You look at Steve, confused.

"It's a joke," he starts to explain.

"Are you taking a milk bath for your supple skin?" you snip.

"No. In the compound," Steve tsks back. "You know, like Santa. Ha-ha, leave out milk and cookies for the patron saint of Independence Day, ha-ha...or whatever."

He looks at his feet.

"So they give you the milk and cookies on the Third."

"I--uh--I wait until the compound closes and people go home, and then I collect the stuff from all the little break rooms and waiting areas. Employees' children come in to specifically to set up the plates."

He rolls his hands around as if that settles things.

"It's cute."

"So you bag up hundreds of cookies from fifty rooms in the building, pour glass after glass of milk into pitchers, and then hoard them like the freaking Cookie Monster in the apartment...You know you don't have to consume all of this, right?"

Steve balks at the mere suggestion. He's appalled.

How. Dare.

"What? I'm not gonna throw them away. That's such a waste! The kids would be so disappointed."

"Then you share them, Steve. You put them somewhere the adults can help you finish them off. You do not eat twenty-five pounds of butter and sugar and flour in one single day."

He shrugs, defiant in his plucking of one full gallon bag back from the pantry and reaching past you for a pitcher.

"I'll run a little extra," he mutters with a pouting lip. "I need the calories."

That's the last, laughable thing the big guy says before shutting himself in a room, snacks in hand.

Well, you think, it's oddly fitting that the patron saint of America is a glutton.