Hmmmm...thinking

Hmmmm...*thinking*

"It's-For-You!" Talking Telephone Toy

Ring... ring... ring... it's for you!

Transcripts below!

Eddie

[The phone rings once before it is picked up.]

Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! How can I help you today?

[Silence.]

...Hello? Is anybody there? ...Should I say the jingle again? Okay-

[Eddie clears his throat.]

Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! Do you need stamps? I got ‘em! Envelopes and paper? You bet! Markers, crayons, glue, glitter, tape, staples- [Takes a deep inhale to catch his breath.] I got that too!

[Silence.]

[Mumbling] ...I’m starting to think nobody’s there… Wait… I can’t remember if the phone was ringing… Maybe I was going to make a phone call... But who would I call? Well, if you’re there… Uh… Have a good day!

Barnaby

[The phone rings three times. Then it picks up.]

Hello? Hellooo?

[Silence.]

Is this a prank call, kid? Listen, I got a better joke for you- What did the bee say to the flower? I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there! What do I look like, a BEE’s-dropper?

[Rimshot and horn honk. Barnaby laughs. Silence follows.]

….Not even a chuckle? Boy, tough crowd! Hey, you can’t blame a guy for phoning it in! How about you call me back when you got something funny to say too, little buddy! Buh bye!

Howdy

[The phone is answered in the middle of the first ring.]

You’re calling Howdy’s Place! The home of everything you need and everything you don't! Howdy Pillar at your service!

[Silence.]

...Hello? Hello! Listen, pal, time is jokes and if I’m not laughing then I don’t have time! ...Actually, I do have plenty of time in stock, it’s in aisle two next to the bananas. But …I call ‘em cuckoo clocks!

[Howdy laughs at his own joke, but it becomes softer and more embarrassed as the silence follows.]

...Alright, alright! You’re giving me nothing to work with, buddy! I only deal in funny business and it looks like you’re runnin’ low, pal! So long! You get it? Like a caterpillar! Haha!

Poppy

[The phone rings twice before it is abruptly picked up.]

Hello, this is the Partridge nest- Or I mean, this is Poppy!

[Silence.]

…Hello? Dear? Are you there? I can’t hear you if you’re speaking! Maybe it is my connection- Oh my feathers, a telephone is so difficult to work with- So many buttons!

[The sounds of shuffling, squawks and noises of tutting can be heard.]

Oh my goodness! I- Oh no, I’ve dropped the telephone on the ground I- Gracious me, there’s birdseed everywhere! I- I will call you back, whoever this is! Oh- My feathers are full at the moment! Don’t worry about me! Have a pleasant day deary-

[A panicked squawk is heard followed by a loud thud. The phone call abruptly ends.]

Frank

[The phone rings once before it’s answered.]

Hello, this is Frank Frankly speaking.

[Silence.]

...Hello? … Are you there?

[Silence.]

...Is this Julie? This had better not be another game you’re playing! …Oh no, is this a prank call? Is this Barnaby!? Well, I have a prank for you too, you jokester! A lesson!

[Frank clears his throat.]

Did you know butterflies have their own way of sleeping? It’s not so much sleeping as it is having a rest ! It is always done with their eyes open, too! They also like to rest under leaves as a means of protection from dew or rain drops! Better yet, to hide from larger creatures with an appetite! A bit like you and those horrible hot dogs you love so much.

[Silence. Frank huffs loudly in annoyance.]

Well, whoever this is, I’ll have you know I have better things to do than wait for you to respond! Good bye!

Sally

[The phone barely has a chance to ring once before it is picked up.]

Hellooo! You’re talking to the brightest and most stupendous superstar this side of the neighborhood! Sally Starlet!

[A triumphant 'ta-da!' jingle, followed by silence. Sally whispers her next sentence.]

…I said ‘Hellooo!’ That’s your cue!

[Silence.]

…What’s wrong, do you have stage fright? I know, I know, having a star for a neighbor can be so intimidating! She’s so terrific, you’re probably thinking! Phenomenal, staggering, breathtaking- I’m taking the words right out of your mouth, I bet!

[Silence. Sally sighs softly.]

Well, parting is such sweet sorrows, but I must shine my brilliance elsewhere! Why don’t you call me back when you don’t have such cold feet, hm? Farewell!

Julie

[The phone rings once, but in the middle of its second ring the phone is answered.]

Hello? [LOUDER] Hello!!

[Silence.]

...Hey, are you playing some kind of game? Well- I want to play too! Okay, let’s go on the count of three! One… Two… Three!

[Silence.]

…I don’t know how to play this game. ...Oh, I know what to do! We’ll make a new game! [Frantically spoken] We’ll need a jump rope, some chalk, a dice, a sandwich- I’ll call it… quiet sandwich jump rope! I better get everything ready, Frank’s going to love this game! Okay, bye bye!

Wally

[A long period of silence follows before three rings are heard. A pause follows even as the phone is answered before the sound of a heart beat can be heard below the ambient noise. This audio track constantly raises and lowers as it proceeds.]

Hello? Hello? Helloooo? … Ha Ha Ha...I’m only kidding. I know you’re there.

Did you like my joke? ...I think you were going to say... Yes! …Ha Ha Ha… You know… It is hard to hear you think through this funny phone of mine. It is as though you aren’t speaking at all. Maybe it is just a little fuzzy… Like me. Speaking of…

[The heart beat and ambience stop abruptly.]

...Do you know who I am?

[The heart beat and ambience resume.]

[Gasp.] Oh no. Well that’s not neighborly at all. We’ve never met before. But don’t worry. Even though you and I haven’t spoken before, I’ve seen you... Every time you have looked into my eyes. I want to know… What did you see?

[Silence.]

I hope you saw a friend, but I’m not sure you saw a name... Stand still. Let’s start over. Ring ring ring. Click. Hi, I’m Wally. I’m so happy to finally meet you, I think you’re the absolute most.

[Silence.]

Uh oh, I have to go now. Everyone is probably thinking about that strange phone call. It is funny to think about. …Ha ha ha… Don’t worry though, neighbor, it will be a little joke between you and me. You have to go too. You have work to do. Remember, until you hear me again, keep your smile merry and always know that I love you very much.

Good bye.