Fellowship Shenanigans Pt 1.

Fellowship Shenanigans Pt 1.

Happy Birthday

Merry, to Pippin: Well you’re the youngest one here so behave!

Pippin: Fine…

Boromir, to Pippin, of Merry: Is he much your senior?

Pippin, grumpy: Eight years.

Boromir: huh.

Merry: Pippin here isn’t even of age. It’s a wonder they let you come at all!

Boromir, to Pippin: Wait what!? How old are you?

Pippin: 29 next birthday.

Boromir: 29?! Why, half our army is of such an age!

Merry, Pippin: WHAT??

Sam: Quiet down you three.

Frodo: What’s going on?

Merry, pointing at Boromir: His people send children into battle!

Boromir: They’re hardly children! At 29 a man is well and truly his own.

Sam: That’s barbaric!

Frodo: They come of age at 29 in your city?

Boromir: Goodness no! A man comes of age at 16, he-

All the Hobbits: WHAT!?!

Everyone starts talking at once.

Aragorn: What on earth is going on here??

Sam: begging your pardon, Strider sir, only Boromir here says his people send their children off to battle at 16!

Boromir: As is standard practice in the world of men!

Aragorn, to the Hobbits: My friends, not all races age alike, at 16 a Man is as mature as a Hobbit is at 33. There is nothing barbaric about it.

Boromir: You come of age at 33?

Merry: Of course we do!

Boromir: So how old are the rest of you?

Merry: I am 37, Sam is 39, and Frodo is 51.

Frodo: As was Bilbo when he set out on his journey.

Boromir: You’re older than ME???

Pippin, to Boromir: How old are you?

Boromir: Forty one.

Merry: Oh, I supposed you were a great deal older, as you're so tall.

Pippin: Does that make Frodo the oldest of us?

Aragorn: Not at all, master Peregrine, think you are forgetting we have an elf in our company.

Pippin: Oh yeah! Mr Legolas!

Gimli, to Pippin, about Legolas: Don’t encourage him.

Legolas: What?

Pippin: How old are you?

Boromir: The halflings have made a game of figuring out the ages of the company.

Legolas: I am 8945.

Hobbits: Wow…

Aragorn: Absolutely not. *to the Hobbits* He’s messing with you. Not even Elrond is 8945. Legolas…

Legolas: 7598.

Aragorn: Younger than that.

Legolas: 290.

Aragorn: Older than that.

Legolas: 78.

Aragorn: And you definitely aren’t younger than me.

Boromir: What-?

Legolas: 2749

Aragorn: Now that sounds about right.

Pippin: How old is Gandalf?

Gimli, joining the fun: Beats me.

Aragorn: If we get into that we’ll be here all night.

Legolas: *opens his mouth as if to say something*

Gimli, to Legolas: I swear, if you start singing again--

Boromir, to Aragorn: How old did you say you were???

Pippin: Gandalf!!!

Merry: How old are you, Gimli?

Gimli: 140.

Pippin: Woah.

Gimli: And as for Gandalf, my father’s father knew Gandalf, and his father before him.

Merry and Pippin: Woah.

Legolas snorts.

Legolas: My father’s father knew Gandalf, and his father before him.

Merry and Pippin: Woah.

Gimli, of Legolas, under his breath: Bloody show off.

Boromir, to Aragorn: I’m sorry, I think I misheard-

Merry: So we have 29, 37, 38, 41, 51, 140, two thousand and…?

Legolas: 2532.

Aragorn: Legolas for the love of-

Merry: What about you, Strider?

Aragorn: I am 81 as of now. But you lot are giving me grey hairs. Pippin, put that down.

Boromir, to Aragorn: Ok now you’re messing with us.

Everyone looks at him like he’s talking nonsense. Including Pippin, who is still holding the sword.

Boromir, to Aragorn: You can’t be eighty!

Pippin: Why can’t he?

Boromir: At eighty a man looks more akin to Gandalf than your friend.

Aragorn: The race of Numenor commands a longer lifespan than that of Men today. Pippin!

Boromir: Oh.

Pippin: Fine. *stops poking the fire with sword*

Merry: Awesome.

Frodo to Aragorn: That explains a lot.

Pippin: GANDALF ARE YOU EIGHTY!?

Aragorn: Pippin for crying out loud-

Gandalf: Oh no, Master Took, I may be old, but I’m not ancient.

Pippin: wait so-

Aragorn to Pippin, of Gandalf: He’s messing with you.

Pippin: So how old is he?

Aragorn: *shrugs* It depends on where you start counting.

Frodo: When a person is born?

Legolas starts laughing, he takes a breath as if to start singing-

Gimli: La-di-dah! La-di-la-di-da!

Legolas glares at him.

Aragorn: Can you two not be at each other's throats for five minutes? Gandalf-

Gandalf: Don’t look at me! I’ve had more than my share of wrangling Dwarfs and Elves.

Pippin: Are you a billion years old, Gandalf?

Boromir: Just when you think that nothing would surprise you…

Merry: It would be cool to be an Elf.

Literally Everyone else, including Legolas: You do NOT want to be an Elf.

Merry: Why not?

There is a pause, no one knows where to start, and they all have VASTLY different reasons for their verdict.

Aragorn: If we get into that, Master Meriadoc, we'll be here not only all night, but for the better part of a year.