I’m Currently On Dating Apps And Have Been Very Frustrated To Find Out How True This Is. The Amount

1) This is disturbing and I feel so sorry for this poor couple

2) Stealing lingerie, underwear, or even sexual toys is a huge pattern among TIMs. I remember a male ex I had (before I realized I was a Lesbian) telling me this story of a friend of a friend. This man was “experimenting with his sexuality/gender” and would continually steal his mother’s dildos to fuck himself in the ass with, not even using condoms as a barrier, and then putting it back, and eventually she found out and just let him have it. (I have no issue with anal if that’s what you want to do so don’t get me wrong, but it does have a higher risk of bacterial contamination so extra cleaning and/or protection needs to be involved)

And I had a surprised and disgusted reaction to this, obviously, and he accused me of being transphobic and got pretty upset about that. At the time I wasn’t even a radfem but the idea of people stealing intimate items that touch genitals, and especially returning them so they can be re-used unknowingly by the original owner, is just really gross and inappropriate? I don’t really care what it is or what your purpose of doing so is, unless you’re a 10 year old girl who was jokingly putting on her mom’s bra while doing the laundry, it’s incredibly disgusting. And I see stories of that happening over and over again, and I just feel really bad for their poor mothers and sisters because that has to feel like an incredible violation of privacy.

Male secretly abuses his lesbian sister's clothing for god fucking knows how long...... This is so disgusting I don't even know what to say here. (link)

(This was in response to me saying that it’s odd that Chappell says she’s a lesbian while also thirsting after men even within the past couple months, and saying I believe she’s likely bi and febfem)

But I am so TIRED of the “sexuality is fluid” bs. If your sexuality is fluid you are not monosexual!!! You’re bi/pan/“queer”/whatever else you want to use to refer to your status as a polysexual person, which is COMPLETELY fine. But it’s not homosexual. It’s not lesbian. These types of people are only adding fuel to the, “You haven’t tried the right dick yet” fire. Lesbians are not attracted to men, at all. Not only 30%, or 10% or even 1%. We are not attracted to men and we did not have to fight this fight for decades only for people to repackage it in a “woke” way. I’m so tired of how much the supposed left spews the patriarchy wrapped up in a pretty bow and claims it’s true leftism and I’m the backwards one.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask people to use proper words for themselves. I don’t want Chappell or anyone to conform to labels that don’t fit them, I want them to stop claiming labels that don’t fit and forcing the definition of that label to change, and instead choosing the ones that are literally right there and fit perfectly. Being bisexual is amazing and beautiful and I love my bisexual baddies, but being in denial of your bisexuality and claiming lesbianism just leads to messiness.

I want to write but I have only vague ideas about lesbian stories and I’ve been burnt out about writing for years now and I have dyslexia and I have no idea how to get my ideas onto paper when they look so beautiful in my head 😭😭😭😭 send help

Back with another alternative Unsure-if-it’s-a-hot-take-here-but-would-def-be-a-hot-take-on-other-social-media-platforms.

“Well I have to buy from (fast fashion/unethical fashion brand) because I’m Alt and local/thrift stores don’t have any alt stuff that fits my style!!!” Is complete bullshit. Make it yourself like the original alternative subculture did.

You don’t know how?

The internet has a thousand tutorials. If you’re overwhelmed and don’t know where to start you can literally DM me and I will send you some of my favorite YT channels that I learned from when I started dressing alternative years ago. A bottle of dye cost me like $8 last time I bought it, and I can use that to dye a whole bucket of clothes black, and an even larger amount of clothes if I want some grey tones and I’m not too worried about having it all completely black.

But I don’t have time to learn all that right now!!!!

That’s completely fine and understandable! I’ve been there, but it’s not an excuse to constantly consume fast fashion. Pick up one skill at a time and change your wardrobe slowly. It’s not going to be instantaneous. Also skills you already have are transferable. You like drawing/sketching? Get a couple markers and transfer it onto a tshirt, and now you’ve got the coolest shirt in the room.

But what about disabled people????

I’m going to be so real with you rn, every single disabled person in my life (even ones I just casually talk to at art markets) are the most creative people I know and this one just feels like a random scapegoat that able-bodied people throw around. I’m disabled too, specifically surrounding muscle/connective tissue function, chronic pain, and motor skills. I work at a slower pace, with mediums I know I’m good with, and take breaks, as do all my friends and acquaintances who share similar problems. If you’re disabled enough you cannot do so, this does not apply to you and I support you getting your needs met in the way that makes the most sense for you.

It’s a lot more counter-culture to just listen to the music and wear a basic pair of jeans and a shirt from the thrift that you put a skull on with sharpie, than to wear plastic crap from Shein and Temu. It’s not really raging against the machine to buy into it. Being clothed is important and a human right, however having your perfect ideal wardrobe immediately, cheaply, and at the expense of the wellbeing of either the planet or other people is not a human right. There’s a bit of a difference between those two, and you can survive in a pair of basic blue jeans, I promise you.

I actually do plan to take either wrestling or boxing soon, I’m just recovering from being underweight (and having a disability that effects the strength of my joints 😭) so I need to gain a bit more weight and get better in the gym first. I’m sorry you’re struggling too though, all my support to you 🖤

Gyns do you have any suggestions for stuff to help work through anger? I recently had a close female friend that I thought supported me suddenly turn around and spew a ton of alt right propaganda. Apparently she’s gone down a tradwife pipeline and now believes that women having rights is apparently the root of all problems in the world, and she told me (a lesbian who she also knows has experienced multiple counts of sexual assault) that she believes that all women must find a man to submit to sexually.

And while I’m grateful for the fact I can now feel anger instead of shame, I’ve gone a long way in healing, I’d also like to be able to step away from it because I’m legitimately losing sleep over it and it’s dredged up a lot of flashbacks. I’m not trying to fish for sympathy, I just want to know if y’all have any suggestions for me.

What I would giveeeee to have a woman do this to me 😭😭😭

Love being possessive but not jealous like yeah babe you can talk to her, you can hang out, just let me give you a hickey, leave my lipstick on your cheek, i know you’re mine, so does she and i know she can’t have you like i do so why would i worry

That’s actually an insane take wtf. I’m begging people to stop basing women’s identities off of men, whether it’s for or against them. Women can and DO partake in things that doesn’t have anything to do with men. We are not based off of our differences to men. Oml.

Why do I keep getting the “Transandrophobia” tag across my dash, I literally don’t interact with any trans tags whatsoever but half of the posts I’m seeing are people whining about how it’s bad to dislike men because some are trans and don’t commit violent crimes as much.

Which like, I agree that trans men don’t commit violent crimes as often, hence why I’m not talking about them bc they were raised female and usually know better, but if I leave them out then I’m transphobic or whatever there’s not any way to win with these people.

i hope whoever came up with the trend of calling attractive women "mommy" is in the depts of hell right now

Any other eco radfems out here?

Environmentalism and Feminism are two of the most important movements to me, especially since I find them both very closely tied together. The treatment of the planet and the treatment of women by the patriarchy are one and the same and we’re seeing the rot that comes of that destructive exploitation now more than ever. The male obsession with exploitation and abuse of such deep beauty and power will never not sicken me.

I also feel such a connection between womanhood and the earth. She’s the one entity who is almost always female, and I’ve always loved that so much ever since I was a young catholic girl wishing I could worship Gaea instead of the detached male god up in the sky who didn’t really seem to represent anything other than passive judgment and condemnation. The earth is real and beautiful and offers life and creation and that’s just such a womanly thing to me.

And I don’t mean that in a pseudo conservative “Women’s highest good is giving birth” way, but about all forms of female creativity. Female creatives are an endless source of wonder and inspiration to me. Women now dominate fiction writing, for instance, and in my (completely unbiased lol) opinion, they write much better books than men. I rarely find a book by a man that I feel is genuinely a good book.

I know I’m a lot more “woo woo” than most of my mutuals on here lol, but womanhood, not femininity, is something I love and revere very deeply and in a spiritual way. The reality of women and what we do is enough for me to find them basically angelic. I don’t need some farce of performative, perfect, clean girl femininity when my god is covered in the residue of her creation, whether it’s soil or paint or ink stains, or even the invisible ideas in her head and how they affect what she talks about.

This is a bit of a ramble but I’m feeling like a lot less of an angry dyke than usual lol and god I just love women. Or maybe I’m just very lesbian.

Gyns do you have any suggestions for stuff to help work through anger? I recently had a close female friend that I thought supported me suddenly turn around and spew a ton of alt right propaganda. Apparently she’s gone down a tradwife pipeline and now believes that women having rights is apparently the root of all problems in the world, and she told me (a lesbian who she also knows has experienced multiple counts of sexual assault) that she believes that all women must find a man to submit to sexually.

And while I’m grateful for the fact I can now feel anger instead of shame, I’ve gone a long way in healing, I’d also like to be able to step away from it because I’m legitimately losing sleep over it and it’s dredged up a lot of flashbacks. I’m not trying to fish for sympathy, I just want to know if y’all have any suggestions for me.