The First Note On That Was A Trump Supporter Commenting “What” And Low Key I Love That Like. Hello

I wept as Cesar wept, I too was the same age as Alexander. Cesar had yet to conquer the world, I had yet to kiss a boy.

love the scene in book 3 of the iliad where helen and priam are looking out over the battlefield and priam asks helen who that short king breasting boobily across the battlefield is

I don't care what official translations say, I chose to believe "Et tu, Brute?" translates to "What the FUCK, Brutus?"

What I say in my paper : this is an oversimplification that could almost be considered incorrect because of the lack of sources and hard evidence but it allows for a succinct explanation and a clearer point

What I mean : my mom is going to read this and if you’re making me write out the actual explanation for this you’ll be the one picking up the phone when she doesn’t understand

So if you are normal, here, you should have said something like, WHAT???

Me, in my very serious uni paper

Y'all think the fantasy high universe has fantasy tumblr lol

(inspired by @orions-garden who had this idea first !)

🐀 stealthcheck reblogged steelwindstrike

⚡ steelwindstrike Follow

you guys remember that trend from last spring where everyone was posting these random videos and pictures of and saying there was a tabaxi woman in there LMAO What the fuck was that 😂 it was like a worse version of The Gown thing from years ago

⚡ steelwindstrike

#LMAOOOO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT #wasnt that a marketing scheme for that one teen band #im pretty sure it was

LMAO WAS IT? i wouldnt be surprised LOL

🐴 princessthehorse Follow

THERE WAS LITERALLY A TABAXI IN ALL OF THOSE VIDEOS. THEY WERE LIKE REALLY SCARY VIDEOS. WHAT WAS EVERYONE ON ABOUT. WHAT FERNS WERE Y'ALL FUCKING ON

🔮 conjurdivination Follow

OP, I understand your confusion but that was very much a real event! Turns out that tabaxi was the Shadow Cat, the familiar of the Nightmare King who was actually an ancient goddess of Sylvaire who was transubstantiated into a disease. She could only be seen by people who had her disease, which was transmitted through various bodily fluids. The Court of Stars has also been putting out statements lately saying that they and other members of the Fallinel government worked with the Shadow Cat, but had nothing to do with her plot of trying to bring back the Nightmare King, since she apparently worked with them as well.

⚡ steelwindstrike

⚡ steelwindstrike

Was it still those fucking kids who did all that though

🐀 stealthcheck

it was those fucking kids

73,127 notes

🦇 nightmarekwing reblogged powerofsol

🦇 nightmarekwing

was just waiting for a meeting with my banker and i watch two teenagers show up and one puts a gun to his head and the other grabs his balls. I'm so done with adventurers bro, how the fuck do people allow this shit

🦇 nightmarekwing

One of the teenagers is the archdevil of the bottomless pit. i swear to god i'm gonna die and even Hell is gonna be a piece of shit because of adventurers

☀️ powerofsol Follow

Did you not do anything to try and help your banker?????

🦇 nightmarekwing

no why would i help a banker

11,928 notes

🧚‍♀️ tiredaasimar

I have insider information on the Central Solesian Area Polycule

5,872 notes

🔍 detectiveagent5353 reblogged alwayshappyhour

❤️ 123fantasydestiel Follow

I cannot BELIEVE that there are FELLOW STUDENTS here at Aguefort who are SERIOUSLY considering voting for Kristen Applebees for class president. Are you out of your mind? Kipperlilly Copperkettle is actually trying to campaign to make the school better for all of us when we've all seen firsthand how messed up everything is. She's actually trying to make it fair for us students, and what does Kristen want to do? Nothing! She has literally ZERO campaign promises that mean ANYTHING for the school and the only things she talks about are steelworkers of all things and a thing NOBODY knows. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT FETTY WAP IS! I looked it up and looked through every book in the library! THOSE WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SAID BEFORE! NEVER!

All I'm saying is if this school starts to go downhill because you all thought it was funnier to vote for the cleric who killed her god TWICE than the regular student who's ACTUALLY trying to make the school better, you all better realize that it's your fault.

🌃 alwayshappyhour

sounds like someone's salty they can't do a shrimp jump

🔍 detectiveagent5353

256.927.723.142

1,283 notes

🐗 recklessattakk

my hungry ass could never be a cleric

3,992 notes

boggyandmoggy reblogged thistleficer

🐦 infernobirds Follow

reblog to cast healing word on the person you rbed this from

23,828 notes

burntownsgetvans reblogged falloutboimaniac

🐉 burntownsgetvans

does anyone know what's going on with fig and the cig figs? i've been waiting for their new album for a while but their social media account has been radio silent, like fig and gorgug are still posting on their personal accounts but nothing about the band :(. they said a new album would be coming out soon last april, i'm just kind of sad and confused i guess

🌹falloutboimaniac Follow

that's really rough man yeah. i don't know what's going on with them either, but i hope they'll end up releasing something soon for you. but if you wanna listen to something that's like fig and the cig figs, maybe you'd like my clerical gnomance? they've been a total breakout hit all over the radio where i'm from lately and they are sooo good lol

🐉 burntownsgetvans

well, okay, i'll give it a shot i guess, thanks for the recommendation :)

🐉 burntownsgetvans

@fallouboimaniac Listen up chucklefuck go FUCK yourself. I'm so fucking TIRED of people like you who are always trying to replace the cig figs and discredit their success and for WHAT reason? I'm so done, I'm so fucking done, I don't wanna FUCKING HEAR IT AND YOU'VE PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND LISTEN TO YOUR OWN SHITTY MUSIC? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING Ddid anyone see that red thing just now

823 notes

🌸 greatgnomishbaker

she kalvaxus on my emperor until i red waste

2,801 notes

lycanstropy reblogged 123fantasydestiel

🧑 123fantasydestiel Follow

Getting really annoyed by all the posts going around joking about Kalvaxus and the Nightmare King. Both of them were EXTREMELY serious and REAL entities that caused SO much destruction in the very real world, and unless you were harmed by them you should NOT be joking about them like that, that is SO gross. My great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great cousin four times removed was KILLED by Kalvaxus and it is so shitty to have to open the dashboard every day to see posts like this.

🕷️ minceraftshreeper Follow

sure but kalvaxus has literally been dead for like 2 years or something 😭. like the fact that those kids killed kalvaxus very much did make national and probably international news did you somehow miss that. and the guy was a total clown be fr it'd be crazy not to joke about him

🧑 123fantasydestiel

Did you not read my entire post? I don't care if you think Kalvaxus was a "clown" or not or that he's already dead, HE KILLED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!!!!! You cannot be making posts JOKING About him like that!!!!!!!!!!

🐈 lycanstropy

I went on a field trip to Hell in my warlock class the other day and a bunch of pirates turned Kalvaxus into a ship and tattooed his ass

9,378 notes

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness

I fucking hate public school dude a plane almost crashed into my house at midnight and turns out it's because of a fucking club at the school and then i GO to school and i can barely even get into my bard class because everyone's lining up around that fucking pirate's kid and the principal is a fucking kid because this school is such a wreck. And can anyone please tell me why the same kid is now in every single club i am also in???? every time i make eye contact with him in one of my clubs he runs away. didn't he and the pirate kid and their party kill like 6 staff members?????????? AND WHY IS THERE A COP IN THE HALLWAYS??????????????????????

54 notes

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness reblogged rayofdownwiththesickness

🕷️ minceraftshreeper Follow

Imagine complaining about students killing people when you literally go to an adventuring school 😂

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness

i'd rather you say it to my face than vague me on the dashboard you know

🦆 rayofdownwiththesickness

I have been hexblade cursed

774 notes

👨‍💻 12345fantasydestiel

Has Aguefort collectively forgotten about the fact that a giant spider appeared on campus a few months ago and started terrorizing people? I'm starting to understand why so many people think so negatively of Aguefort now. I was literally there and watched it happen and then no one seemed to bring it up ever again. No teachers decided to address it or anything. We're lucky it didn't kill anyone, and, actually, now I'm remembering, wasn't Kristen Applebees there? I swear to Galicaea she was there. Is that why nothing came of it, cause her party has like 4 parents on the school staff? This place is a joke.

11 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

infaetheable reblogged alwayshappyhour

🌃 alwayshappyhour

she nightmare on my king until i cassandra

1,287 notes

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

On being gay (a poem I regret writing for class)

I am afraid someone will know. I am afraid they will smell the rotten thing in my mouth, on my hands, between my legs.

I'd like to proclaim this rotting growth is dying under bigotry and insults. But I grew around hatred, leaving a hollow shape that looks like kids carrying signs they can't read, holidays for mass I get dirty looks at, "sodomite" the worst thing to be called. My parched broken pieces embrace all too eagerly the sweet poison that smells like cow shit and magnolia.

"What have you done to my little girl", the sentence hovers, unsaid, the knife that is yet to be thrown, that already left a hole in my stomach. "What have you done to my little girl," dad, I'm going back to Ithaca.

Beyond the sea are the best part of me, the haircuts head in the bathtub that stinks of cheap dye and the tattoos I wanted when I was eleven. Behind the sea it's New York in 86.

It's unfurnished apartments, empty cupboards. It's glitter and luxury just a five fingers discount away, envy like ice cube in the spine, anger towards all the honest people who don't convert prices into week-worth-of-groceries. It's sewing in a makeshift workshop when you don't know how to sew, under the careful guidance of a makeshift mother. It's the teeth, the biting, the original sin behind the masks of decency. It's ambition, desperate, relentless, bloody.

I see it, my Ithaca, on a stage in Marseille, and in Arial 12, black and white, on a flimsy piece of paper ; someone saw a man love someone like me and thought,

"This love needs glitter, warm lights and electric guitars."

This poem deserves a steady voice, precise gestures and a perfect mastery that gives an air of clumsiness. It is so sincere, so raw, that tenderness, it needs a ballet of smokes and lights.

Jean Genet loved Abdallah Bentaga and it's like a broken raft in my odyssey. Because I too am a painted creature obsessed with my own spectacle, and when Jean loves Abdallah, it's like he loved me too. 

Even if we need makeup to conquer the unthinkable, the grotesque of what we are. Even if our Venus got murdered on a moldy mattress in a cheap motel ; on stage, in front of a full audience, an old man almost touches an adonis. Even if a man lays with a man the way one lays with a woman, they both did something terrible. Even if we are out too late at night, we go home bruised or we don't go home ; on stage, in front of a full audience, an old man almost touches an adonis.

But maybe we are wrong and they are right to try to save us. Maybe God is real and he hates me. Maybe there is something profoundly treacherous and vile inside of me. Maybe I will have regrets and admit that Oh wasn't Troy that much better? Wasn't there in this time of bloodshed, some kind of comfort? Oh the honors, oh the glory!

But there is Philippe Torreton, at night, in the theater, under warm lights and glitter showers. And holy shit how hot are we, we the faggots, when we love each other on stage. How fabulous for a man to love an artist, how tender, for a man to love a boy trying to kill himself.

I recognized Ithaca when I picked my name. I disown her every time I introduce myself.

"Antharès? Where is that from? Is it greek?"

I answer well actually ehm basically it's it's a star in ehm a constellation and ehm well it shines brighter than the others.

Anthares, it's Trans, actually. Just like Noah, Aiden, Eliott, Alex, Sacha, Ariadne and Jasmine. To the mean laughter waiting to happen, that's the answer. It's trans, and when I picked it it was meant to be obvious. To tell the whole world, fuck the tides, fuck election day, fuck the groundswells, I'm going back to Ithaca.

Not as Captain, but as a half baked writer not old enough to be a fuck up yet, in all the the stain of my obsessive perfectionism, my obsessive ambition, my obsessive pessimism. In all the forbiddance of what happens in my bedroom.

I count the coins of my entertainer's allowance that I put in kraft envelopes for the black priest that will mutilate the divine feminine off of my body. And all of Ithaca's ghosts count with me. They smell of dirty streets and hospitals, they are made of glitter and seafoam. If they send me to hell I'll suck Lucifer's dick like it's the body of Christ and I'll know if angels are circumcised.

Michelangelo saw David in a marble cube, and he saw me too like I was always there. I sculpt the curve of my shoulders with a needle, the flat of my chest with a kitchen knife. I learn my voice and how I smell. I learn with the sweet words of the poets how you say sweet words to a man when you are a man. From boys I learn to be a boy, how to behave and what to say ; what is a man on stage on what do I need to do to be applauded.

I make myself with powders and push ups and birthday presents a body Argos will recognize. I was always there, like the flour before the bread, like the grapes before the wine, like the mud before the home. I am Pygmalion. I am Galatea. My hands are the divine creation. I am going back to Ithaca.

I have been running to you since my first step

I have been kissing you since my first kiss

My Ithaca

for you and your warped reflection

So writers joke a lot about "drinking the tears of our readers", but I want to be so honest with you when I tell you that making you cry isn't our real goal. Making you feel is.

Kicking your feet? Giggling? Can't stop smiling? And yes, crying? Feeling anything, everything. That's our goal. That means we did The Job.