[Text: Having DID Saved This User’s Life.]

This is a placeholder post, for the sake of proving that yes we do exist and will begin posting to this blog once we collectively decide what to post/ discuss here. We want it to be a team effort, and totally honest. We're tired of compartmentalizing each other. It's only just to do this, and all things, together.

Some persistent basics about out core-self:

Roman Catholic; revert w/ religious trauma (no amount of abuse can change the Truth or mar its real beauty; "those who believe don't leave")

CPTSD / DID / OCD / BPD (all professionally diagnosed repeatedly; other alters have received other diagnoses though, such as SZPD & ADHD; this disturbing plethora of diagnoses is hellishly difficult to live with)

Adult (over 30)

Chronically ill

Aro-Ace fictoqueer

Androgynous celibate + Systemgender (they/ them, quite literally)

We will make a legit sticky post in the future as well.

For now, we're striving to get back in touch with our heart AS a System. It has been far too long since our life was full of color & love, and now with dramatically less imminent dangers, the future may be brighter than we ever dreamed. We will work towards the actualization of that hope, by the grace of God.

[Our System relationship + selfship blog is @prismaticlove btw]

If you find that there is no love in you, but you want to have it, then do deeds of love, even though you do them without love in the beginning. The Lord will see you desire and striving and will put love in your heart.

Saint Ambrose of Optina

Love, in order to be true, must hurt.

Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta

"...there is literally no way to put [life as a system] into words... that shared depth of our shared soul. the immense hope in it all.

it's so strange. sacred in a way. something given to me by god. in those moments, i... faith becomes conviction. that trust is solid. i don't just "believe" that there is life after death and hope after everything, I know that there is. there is something about headspace that all but confirms that there is "more to life than this life." that what we see is not all there is. in here, what i see, what i hear, what i feel... the absolute love between us all, that's what i bring into church, and lay on the altar, and sob for joy about. that is the heart of every prayer and song i offer. this is what leads me to God, more than anything else, because this is how he teaches me of himself. of unconditional compassion. of mercy and justice. of what it's like for someone to live and die for you and what it's like to want to do the same thing in a heartbeat. joyfully so. kissing the cross.

this innerworld is blessed. it really is. even the wars, even the struggles were seen and known by god. of course they were. we all know we could never have become who we are now, could never have become as tender-hearted as we are now, if we had not bled and wept and fought together for so long. we learned so much. we lost so much. we gained so much."

(121622)

— Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet (1982)