BIG FUCKER

Oh my god… they’re CUTE!

Big coral like creature … I wonder if they’d want to be friends………….

Pokerating Day 17, Stakatakakatatakatakatakakataka

Charm: Honestly, while being a cool looking mon (gonna refer to the ultra beasts as pokemon for simplicity), it's also strangely cute when you realize its like... 100+ organisms in a trenchcoat. Each "brick" of the stakataka, sometimes jokingly called "taka" as I will be referring to them, is it's own organism. It's kind of like a coral when you really think about it. 10/10

Care: So, this is one of the least understood ultra beasts. We do not have documentation of it's ultra-space dimension. Anything here will be speculative, so ignore this rating if you only want cold hard facts. Stakataka is most reminiscent of a coral, as it is a colony of individual stone-shelled creatures. We can assume that each taka (brick) has a separate internal biology, so it would have to eat separately. This usually lends best to filter-feeding, buuuut stakataka has no real prey that it COULD filterfeed that we know of. It is likely, at least partially, carnivorous, as most similar creatures are, and I would theorize that they hunt other rock-types via ambush. This is an incredibly slow organism so it is NOT an active hunter. I would guess that one or two taka take watch while the others pretend to be a brick wall, and then they send a signal to ambush when something gets close. Overall I have to do a ?/10 though, since this is all speculative. A stakataka is also FUCKING MASSIVE. You're gonna need like several acres of land for it and LOTS of prey.

Safety: One taka is probably harmless but a full stakataka? No. 0/10

Utility: Field move data on these pokemon are... limited, to say the least. Both due to their discovery in Alola, a region that doesn't use field moves, and due to being exceedingly rare, we have no confirmation on what "HM" moves they could use. I would *guess* that it could learn cut, rock smash, strength, and MAYBE rock climb. Despite that, this fella(s) is (are?) essentially a mobile brick wall. You could easily set up a tarp over one and be safe if it likes you. ?/10 though regardless sadly.

Battle Potential: Damned by its type. Just like the many rock/steel types before it. I already went over this type not to long ago, but to simplify, double weak to fighting and ground, two of the most common offensive types, is damning. It's still alright, and if it can get going, setting up an iron defense or something so it can bodypress harder or setting trickroom, it can certianly put in work, but when other more common mons exist it's hard to justify. 4/10, I think it could do better in the future if a move or ability that makes trick room better is found, but right now it's just impressively slow.

Final Ratings:

Charm: 10/10

Care: Data Insufficient

Safety: 0/10

Utility: Data Insufficient

Battle Potential: 4/10

Final Notes:

Those totally legally obtained documents I got access to helped on this one but even those can only do so much. I love calling the little bricks "taka", in fact, if we said taka for each taka in a stakataka it'd look like staka....

TakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakaTakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakatakataka

That almost looks like one with the T's I accidentally capitalized. Anyways its rumored to be roughly 150 takas per staka.

Oh you just made Chief’s whole day ^^ He’s going to be baking furiously all night. Pfft.

One of the things he said he likes a lot is baking and cooking, but it does still feel like he’s just working himself out to me. :/ still, if your partner likes his treats he’ll be exuberant!

Hello. Official appointment request! ^^

Chief the Chansey, with his little Oddish passenger (they are inseparable… we’ve tried) are the clients!

Background: Chief was a medic in the pokewars of yore and belonged to my grandpa. He’s in my care now as my grandpa isn’t able to care for him. He’s not distrustful of humans really, more so he sees them all as in his care and can’t seem to submit himself to their care. He’s been pretty isolated and is mourning my grandmother and the loss of company of my grandpa/ loss of caretaking for him since he is in my families care now.

Hope that’s enough background! Any additional info and scheduling can be tagged:

~ @poketherapist-in-training

[ THIS IS A CLOSED APPOINTMENT BETWEEN B AND THE USER. ]

Thank you for the starting information! That's very helpful! ^^

Breaking out of selfless habits in order to care for yourself or let others care for you can be tough, I've actually had that issue myself before when I get too into the zone. ^^"

Is there any specific habits that really stand out?

appreciate your bat pokemon today and everyday.

(@wingsofachampion) Hiya! What's your favorite thing about humans? -Tropius

Hi Tropius!

Gosh, I know this is a cop out but everything! You’ll have to tell me if this is similar to your experiences!

Humans are so creative. We’re a story telling species, we evolved to share information and knowledge and internal realities via art and stories and conversation.

We’re so loving. We evolved to have such deep intimate relationships, platonic and romantic and otherwise. Humans are so entirely interconnected- so are pokémon! Humans and many pokémon share this quality. We are interdependent and survive by helping each other, learning from each other, supporting each other.

There will always be bad people and pokemon, but that doesn’t mean the majority aren’t loving, creative people. Good and Bad are contextual- but love and respect and creativity are everywhere.

What’s your favourite thing about pokémon?

Nice to meet you!

Ellie/Elias

can Not stop randomly saying "den i throw da bones at james" to myself

(@wingsofachampion) Hiya! What's your favorite thing about humans? -Tropius

Hmm, I'm a huge fan of the packbonding tendency that humans have. Small creature? Baby. Big creature? Big baby. Toaster? Baby that go ding when toast. Everything and anything can and will be adopted by a human, and it brings me incredible amounts of joy.

As a human (I know, boring right?) I have personally packbonded with two roombas, a hat, and a 3/4 inch metal ball bearing. And I'm not sorry about it. I'm sure there's worse but those are the 3 wierd ones that come to mind.

Reblog if you agree

An in-universe explanation for making pokemon variants

Ah yes, saw something that reminded about the bizarre attraction to POS women characters in various works that happens. And not like... ones that can be reinterpreted as something decent or the like either. Fucking confusing to me.

(same thing happens with male characters to be clear, I'm just a lesbian so focusing on that part)

FUCK

I WENT TO THE BATHROOM FOR NOT EVEN A MINUTE AND THE IGGLY BUFF JUMPED OFF THE FUCKING BED AND ONCE AN IGGLYBUFF STARTS BOUNCING

THEY DONT FUCKING STOP UNITL SOMETHING STOPS THEM

SHIT