My Mind Deserves To Be Destroyed 🥺🥺 Maybe We Need A Few More...dozen Alters All Fighting For Control

I'm not delulu enough :c

ppl in my asks should egg me on to smoke more weed and to feed my psychosis :3

hiii,, well I got bpd and am a little hihi

npd big sibling x bpd little sibling

I love waking up with my holes being sore uwu

any other transharmeds that also have an aversion to pain . . . .

If I make this blog a manual for how to stalk, manipulate and kidnap me maybe I'll finally meet the love of my life

∆ ««« System Overview

We're the L-System ("Leo" or "Lilly"), pychotic incel faggot-tranny loser (he/him, any).

We have relationships between system members (4-8, on&off for at least 4 years). feel free to ask us about it

We tried dating externally many times but it never worked. We're too much of a freak for normies and we never felt properly bonding with anyone else. i really just want to obsessively fall in love with a cutely controlling/manipulative boyfriend-girlfriend, is that too much to ask?!

»»» ∆ TransIDs and MUDs

Our body is an adult and our system and subsystems consists of 12 main alters, . : we're transitioning to psychotic and delusional with weed and adderall. : it feels nice when ppl online encourage us 🥺

cisids: autism, adhd, cptsd, ptsd, bpd, npd

Our transid list is always changing so some of these might change, altho others definitely won't.

radqueer, gay, genderfuck, aro/ace, transage, permahigh, permastoned, permadrugged, permateen, sex doll, prey, victim,

transharmed, transpsychotic, transdelusional, transamputee (?), transdentures, transabusevictim, transforcedsh, transsuibait, transed, transanorexia, transana, (corpse) )

We also experience "some" MUDs:

• Mirror Infatuation Identity Disorder

« ∆ » Other labels

Some of us identify with the labels retard, faggot, cripple and probably some other ableist slurs that I forgot rn.

DMs and asks open if u really wanna know. pls be nice 🥺

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(fuck nazis transphobes sexists racists etc etc)

yes ok but can I just choose the drugging and basement locking? uwu

I'll give you a choice to love me. But push comes to shove...I'm drugging you and locking you where nobody but me will find you. Choose wisely, bunny♡

Tips for Transharmed people!:

You can manipulate yourself into thinking something happened to give you trauma relating to that thing! Try telling people around you that the trauma happened to you. After that you can begin to think of exact details of the trauma. I'd recommend using people you're not around much anymore to base the trauma off of.

Steps!:

Step 1: think of a VERY detailed story of what happened, it's okay if you forget details! Just say it happened a long time ago.

Step 2: tell your friends small details of the trauma during sensitive moments in your life. This will trick your brain into thinking that it happened!

Step 3: talk to yourself/write about your trauma. After a while of doing this, it'll make you believe yourself when you say it happened.

Step 4: stop thinking about it as a transharmed fantasy, instead, think about it as an actual piece in your life.

Step 5: when doubting yourself, tell yourself this: "if I'm doubting myself, then that means it's real. A faker would know they're lying."

Step 6: keep doing this! It'll take a bit to fully convince yourself, but it'll work eventually!

Love: a cisharmed person!

we irl

- randomly burst out giggling and answer questions we hallucinated having been asked

- have limbs jerking in circles (not the horny kind :c)

- think everyone outside the house knows who we are and are out to get us

- have blown off every social activity we said we'd go to for a month

- treat the reflection in mirrors like they're different members of our system and subsystems.

- have back and forths with the mirror selves and express our (romantic) relationship this way

we,, have definitely become more psychotic the last year uwu

Which is funny, since our life is actually going ok. its validating to know we can feel this way without it meaning our life is ending or falling apart

do you have any transpsychosis tips?? ^.^

TRANSPSYCHOSIS TIPS 𖣘

- talking incoherently!! like maybe you start a sentence but it like gets mudldred with lgnger words and it compelwtlyy falsl aaprtt andnsdoslme or something like that!! (irl though lol)

- repetitive movements!! do tasks over and over maybe for a sense of comfort or maybe because someone will hurt you if you dont or maybe something else

- hypervigilance

- anxietyyyyy

- social isolation!! nobody can know you know what you know. nobody must know

- depression

the rest is for delusions and hallucinations and i just copied and pasted that section from my transshcizospec tips!! i really need to make an archive

delusions:

- a delusions is simply a fixed belief that doesnt change despite contradicting evidence. let your imagination run wild and then just gaslight yourself. eventually youll believe it.

- if you need more guidance, some common delusions are grandiose delusions (which i experienced), paranoid, erotomaniac (parasocial), somatic, and many more you can google.

- paranoia is very very common!! incorporate it!!

- look at the "how the delulu girls" trend on tiktok!!

- whether or not you choose to talk to people about your delusion is up to you

hallucinations:

- honestly, make them up to gaslight yourself and/or manifest them

- draw whatever comes to mind and tell yourself its your hallucinations

- get sleep deprived!!

-watch things that make you anxious!!

- listen for small background noises and tell yourself its a hallucination

You werent evil, you were 13 with an untreated personality disorder

hey just a warning, this isn't "stop following" or "I don't like you" or anything since I know nothing but I feel like I'm lying if I don't say:

my partner doesn't think radqueer or transids are really good, though that might be their misunderstanding? I'm not sure

the reason I'm explaining this is just in case I learn more about radq and transid and decide I'm not for it, I wont harass anybody but I feel you deserved to know anyway

but yeah my only DNI are people who harass other people regardless of for what you're fine here hi sorry this is so odd

alrighty, well lemme know if you want me to unfollow or something. feel free to dm me about questions too tho, if you end up having any,

glhf<3

while we are a traumagenic did system ourselves, we are pro-endo, and i (samuel) wanted to say to any anti-endo's reading this or following us,

ITS IS FUCKED UP TO DENY A BEINGS EXISTENCE BECAUSE YOU ARE CAUGHT UP ON HOW THEY CAME INTO EXISTENCE.