A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide To Not Losing Your Shit In College (Condensed Version)

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

More Posts from Plantsandstudy and Others

5 years ago

bad study/school habits to drop

like seriously, drop them asap. 

they’re toxic and prevent you from being productive and doing your best. change won’t come right away, but do your best to stop these bad habits.

comparing yourself to others. in anything, we tend to compare ourselves to others even though we know how unhealthy it is. stop comparing yourself to your friends and classmates because everyone works in different ways at different paces.

complaining. i get it. nobody wants to write multiple essays or do fifty math problems. it’s either you do it or you don’t. if you don’t do it, there’s nothing to complain about. if you do the assignment, why complain if you know you’ll finish it anyway ? complaining is counterproductive and honestly quite annoying.

being negative. “i’m gonna fail this test.” “i can’t do it.” everyone says these things to themselves, including me. sometimes i’ll say “i don’t understand anything” even though i’ve barely tried. speak your success into existence and put in the work. believe in yourself or at least accept the situation if you didn’t prepare enough so you can do your best.

cramming. if you know you have a test on friday, start studying a few days before. rather than spending a whole 3 hours studying the night prior, study in smaller increments several days beforehand. take your time to understand the concepts. cramming stresses the body by trying to force memorization which usually doesn’t end up well.

going out when you have homework. i get it. you want to hang out with your friends, but you really should get your work done. make an effort to finish most/all of your work before you go out. personally, the fact that i have work to do lingers in the back of my mind which lowkey stresses me when i’m trying to have fun. who wants that ?

procrastinating. you all know why you shouldn’t do it so there’s really nothing to say. it’s one of the worst habits to have, and i hope we can all work towards getting rid of it.

p.s. thank you to everyone who disagreed with my advice but gave me feedback in a polite way. i’ll keep editing slightly because i usually write these at the end of a long day so sometimes my intended meaning doesn’t get across to some people.

5 years ago

Reblog if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender or a supporter.

This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.

5 years ago

you can fall in love at 30. you can discover your true passion at 40. you can go back to school at 50. you can learn to draw, or paint, or sing at 60. relax. just because you didn’t do most, or any, of the things considered “young adult milestones” doesn’t mean you never will. there’s no time limit on happiness.

5 years ago

for future reference

å Bestille- To Order Bolle- Bun Dessert- Dessert Drikker- Drinks Frokost- Breakfast Iskaffe- Iced Coffee

å bestille- to order bolle- bun dessert- dessert drikker- drinks frokost- breakfast iskaffe- iced coffee iste- iced tea kafé- café kaffe- coffee kake- cake, pastry koffein- caffeine koffeinfri- decaf (also decaf) lunsj- lunch mat- food meny- menu middag- lunch smørbrød- sandwich te- tea vaffel- waffle vann- water varm sjokolade- hot chocolate (also: kakao)

hasselnøtt- hazelnut hvit sjokolade- white chocolate kanel- cinnamon karamell- caramel melk- milk melkesjokolade- milk chocolate mørk- dark (i.e. mørk kakao) muskat- nutmeg mynte- mint sjokolade- chocolate sukker- sugar vanilje- vanilla

liten- small stor- large

ta med- to go (bring with) bli her- to stay

hva vil du ha?- what would you like? hvordan kan jeg hjelpe deg?- how can i help you? noe å spise til?- something to eat with it? jeg skal ha- i’ll have jeg vil gjerne ha- i would like jeg tar- i’ll take kan jeg ha- can i have værsågod- here you go tusen takk- thank you very much takk skal du ha- thank you

5 years ago

Do yourself a favor. Learn to code. Here's how.

I’ve said this to my non-techie friends countless times. It’s no secret that being able to code makes you a better job applicant, and a better entrepreneur. Hell, one techie taught a homeless man to code and now that man is making his first mobile application.

Learning to code elevates your professional life, and makes you more knowledgeable about the massive changes taking place in the technology sector that are poised to have an immense influence on human life.

(note: yes I realize that 3/5 of those links were Google projects)

But most folks are intimidated by coding. And it does seem intimidating at first. But peel away the obscurity and the difficulty, and you start to learn that coding, at least at its basic level, is a very manageable, learnable skill.

There are a lot of resources out there to teach you. I’ve found a couple to be particularly successful. Here’s my list of resources for learning to code, sorted by difficulty:

Novice

Never written a line of code before? No worries. Just visit one of these fine resources and follow their high-level tutorials. You won’t get into the nitty-gritty, but don’t worry about it for now:

Dash - by General Assembly

CodeAcademy

w3 Tutorials (start at HTML on the left sidebar and work your way down)

Intermediate

Now that you’ve gone through a handful of basic tutorials, it’s time to learn the fundamentals of actual, real-life coding problems. I’ve found these resources to be solid:

Khan Academy

CodeAcademy - Ruby, Python, PHP

Difficult

If you’re here, you’re capable of building things. You know the primitives. You know the logic control statements. You’re ready to start making real stuff take shape. Here are some different types of resources to turn you from someone who knows how to code, into a full-fledged programmer.

Programming problems

Sometimes, the challenges in programming aren’t how to make a language do a task, but just how to do the task in general. Like how to find an item in a very large, sorted list, without checking each element. Here are some resources for those types of problems

Talentbuddy

TopCoder

Web Applications

If you learned Python, Django is an amazing platform for creating quick-and-easy web applications. I’d highly suggest the tutorial - it’s one of the best I’ve ever used, and you have a web app up and running in less than an hour.

Django Tutorial

I’ve never used Rails, but it’s a very popular and powerful framework for creating web applications using Ruby. I’d suggest going through their guide to start getting down-and-dirty with Rails development.

Rails Guide

If you know PHP, there’s an ocean of good stuff out there for you to learn how to make a full-fledged web application. Frameworks do a lot of work for you, and provide quick and easy guides to get up and running. I’d suggest the following:

Cake PHP Book

Symfony 2 - Get Started

Yii PHP - The Comprehensive Guide

Conclusion

If there’s one point I wanted to get across, it’s that it is easier than ever to learn to code. There are resources on every corner of the internet for potential programmers, and the benefits of learning even just the basics are monumental.

If you know of any additional, great resources that aren’t listed here, please feel free to tweet them to me @boomeyer.

Best of luck!


Tags
5 years ago

little reminders

do you have homework due tomorrow? do it

did you get any homework today? do it

did you get an assignment notification? break it into small chunks, schedule these chunks and make a start on it. 

do you have an exam tomorrow? do some light revision. or if you’ve left it until the last, turn off your phone, put it in your desk drawer and revise until you’re done. make sure you get at least 4 hours of sleep if you’re cramming, 8 if you’re not. 

do you have a quiz tomorrow? do some v light revision, and redo some homework problems or handouts on the topic.

how much tea/coffee/general caffeine have you had today? how much water have you had? switch your next coffee refill to water.

have you brushed your hair? tame that mane.

have you showered? have a warm shower right before you go to bed so you feel sleepy when you come out.

are your feet cold? put on socks.

are you working your hardest? push a little harder. 

when was the last time you allocated relaxing time? pick a cutoff point for your work, whether it’s 9pm or 1am, and spend 15-30 minutes (depending on the time) to wind down by reading a book, talking to family or friends, taking a shower and generally doing whatever you want. 


Tags
5 years ago

the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

5 years ago

I... don’t want to do this, but I don’t know what else to do...

I am $105 short this month. My card was charged without permission, and the people are saying that they will not refund it and will only credit my account for the next month. I have bills & debts that I absolutely need to pay and cannot put off any longer. If anyone can give even $1, I would immensely appreciate it.

Here is my PayPal. My CashApp is $allthatsknown. Thank you.

5 years ago
Studying For My Finances Exam. 💆🏻‍♀️

Studying for my finances exam. 💆🏻‍♀️

5 years ago

he is so smart

wonderful Potter

with his scar

and his broomstick

- actual canon line by Draco Malfoy


Tags
  • ahotdiscoball
    ahotdiscoball liked this · 5 days ago
  • kyopiie
    kyopiie liked this · 1 week ago
  • inaccuratefandomhell
    inaccuratefandomhell reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • inaccuratefandomhell
    inaccuratefandomhell liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • huiup
    huiup liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • kyutiny
    kyutiny liked this · 1 month ago
  • shes-bejeweled
    shes-bejeweled reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • shes-bejeweled
    shes-bejeweled liked this · 1 month ago
  • tandy-angel
    tandy-angel reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • tandy-angel
    tandy-angel liked this · 1 month ago
  • m0rbidlycynical
    m0rbidlycynical reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • workaholicslothess
    workaholicslothess liked this · 1 month ago
  • kordupel
    kordupel liked this · 1 month ago
  • its-fobofobia
    its-fobofobia liked this · 1 month ago
  • moiyah
    moiyah liked this · 1 month ago
  • adoreyoulou28
    adoreyoulou28 liked this · 1 month ago
  • allarounddivinity
    allarounddivinity liked this · 2 months ago
  • womanstandsalone
    womanstandsalone liked this · 2 months ago
  • pooksgetspooked
    pooksgetspooked liked this · 2 months ago
  • spaced-out-rhapsody
    spaced-out-rhapsody reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • lev-ryu
    lev-ryu liked this · 2 months ago
  • hellbentsunday
    hellbentsunday liked this · 2 months ago
  • p1n4ta
    p1n4ta liked this · 2 months ago
  • belpheg0r-luna
    belpheg0r-luna liked this · 2 months ago
  • drowning-in-ichor
    drowning-in-ichor reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • drowning-in-ichor
    drowning-in-ichor liked this · 2 months ago
  • aceofsages
    aceofsages liked this · 2 months ago
  • 2456788sworld
    2456788sworld liked this · 2 months ago
  • meaganelizabethmay
    meaganelizabethmay reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • softwichu
    softwichu liked this · 2 months ago
  • desi-kappaa
    desi-kappaa liked this · 2 months ago
  • whispers-from-nowhere
    whispers-from-nowhere liked this · 2 months ago
  • rnidliners
    rnidliners reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • drcfts
    drcfts reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • rnidliners
    rnidliners reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • drcfts
    drcfts reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • maxwellgetsalife
    maxwellgetsalife reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • mxmcmoon
    mxmcmoon liked this · 2 months ago
  • seungminsays-staa
    seungminsays-staa reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • swifferpickerupper
    swifferpickerupper liked this · 2 months ago
  • chaotic-but-cute
    chaotic-but-cute liked this · 2 months ago
  • tremendously-crazy
    tremendously-crazy liked this · 2 months ago
  • neverquiteedenstudyblr
    neverquiteedenstudyblr reblogged this · 2 months ago
plantsandstudy - idk a mess
idk a mess

Alex | Australia | Slytherin

72 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags