Okay So You Know That Trope In Fics Where After Harry Comes Out, Ron Asks Him If He Ever Looked At Him

Rowena Ravenclaw: Wait, Salazar, how come you ended up with the shittiest common room? We dished out the money to make them equally AND you’re the richest sod out of all of us

Salazar Slytherin: [thinks back to installing a giantass slide into the Chamber of Secrets and putting a statue of himself in it]

Salazar Slytherin: Uhhhhh… taxes [sweats heavily]

family dinners

draco: oh grow up POTTER

harry: you’re an annoying little git aren’t you

draco: why you—

ron, to his concerned family: you’d think they hated each other, but they’re actually engaged. crazy fools, they are

hermione, sipping hot chocolate: it’s best to leave them to it…biscuits anyone?

Fact: the Gryffindor and Slytherin trios are gay and in love with each other

#rawn pls

that i sometimes forgot what hating myself felt like. [insp.]

People keep leaving “Isn’t Bill’s first name Bilius?” comments on one of my HP posts and the answer is no. I checked before I posted. Bill Weasley’s first name is actually William. 

“Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle….?” 

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 8. The Wedding

People are getting the name Bilius from a Weasley uncle, the one who saw a Grim and died twenty-four hours later. Ron’s middle name is also Bilius. Ron presumably was named for this uncle. 

“Talking about Muriel?” inquired George, re-emerging from the marquee with Fred. “Yeah, she’s just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat. I wish old Uncle Bilius was still with us, though; he was a right laugh at weddings.” 

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 8. The Wedding

It’s kind of funny to imagine, though, that Bill could have grown up thinking that his name was Bilius. Kids often don’t know the “correct” names for things because the adults in their life refer to these things incorrectly as an in-joke or by nicknames. If everyone called him Bill and Bill grew up knowing his Uncle Bilius, then he could have very plausibly been under the impression for many years that his name was also Bilius. 

Until, of course, September of 1982 rolls around. 

Professor Minerva McGonagall opens a scroll and begins reading off the names of the first-years who are to be Sorted. She gets to the very last name on the list (entirely possible with a W name) and calls out: “WEASLEY, WILLIAM!” 

11-year-old “Bill” Weasley, who has just this second found out that his first name is actually William: “…Who?!” 

So I’m applying to go to University in July...

Me, writing a Personal Competencies Statement: How do I say, ‘I write gay wizard porn in my spare time’ but in an academic kind of way?

Like this,

'I am a prolific writer of relationship based fictional fantasy stories which I publish periodically in an online community of like-minded authors.’

Teacher: Excuse you, the lesson isn’t over. Where do you think you’re going?

Me: Sorry, Professor, I ran out of energy trying to glare at my nemisis and now I have to go throw a stick for the dog outside to gain even a fraction of it back.

headcanon that since the slytherin common room is under the lake there’s a room where the walls and ceiling are glass and you can just see into the lake like an aquarium

Being a writer means having like 5 baby name websites bookmarked, a very suspicious browser history, and a vast amount of knowledge about seemingly random topics like when stop lights were invented or how much blood you can loose before passing out.