I Lay Awake At Night Dreading The Day When A Very Potter Musical Is No Longer Outrageously Funny To People

harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:  

“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”

 “BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)” 

“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”

these are literally the only villain redemption arcs that are good, so if you’re a writer, take notes:

zuko

megamind

dr doofenshmirtz

ok but draco malfoy as a hot queer millionaire fashionista with high cheekbones and a crush on harry potter is literally my religion

Me: I like Malfoys. Draco is a pretty complex character. I think Narcissa is pretty powerful and Scorpius is such a cool character.

Lucius: Ah thank you-

Me:

something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort

Harry: it was Malfoy

Ron and Hermione: The views and opinions expressed above are solely Harry’s and do not speak on behalf of us nor do they reflect in any way the views and opinions of The Golden Trio™ as a whole

The most valuable chart…

The Fandom @ Cursed Child: ugh, we refuse to accept 90% of this as canon, basically just fan fiction, fake news

The Fandom @ Hogwarts Mystery, a self-insert video game: *GIANT RED STAMP* CANON.

Everything changed in third year. It really should have been insignificant in the grander scheme of things. Magic was real, Harry was the Boy Who Lived, and He Who Must Not be Named was back. There were so many more important things to think about. So why was Harry so hung up on the fact that Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were in love? Or how Harry accidentally fell in love with Draco Malfoy. (And it might have been the best thing that ever happened to him ... or the worst)