I Really Love My Husband, Wilbur. That's About It.[Were Married On Discord]

Glass bottles [Tw Blood]

When I was little, i had these plastic glass bottles

The first thing I did was spit my blood inside

I watched it sloth around as the cork got stained with red

I liked looking at my blood it was like a part of myself I woefully shed

My own blood I had decided to hide away and store.

My own blood, I let rot along, soaking into the cork.

Days later, i was going to eat it but saw the blood dried and faded almost dead

It was on the sides and screw this horrible brown colour, almost the embodyment of dread

Yet i still cleaned it out and ate it

My desperation is unmet.[Not my art] [character poem]

I want to experience a million realities in one. I often wonder what my life would be like if i had made different actions if i had made different choices, different desires, and goals. I feel quite tethered to my universe sometimes, i mean.... I've just made these choices, and that's it, i can never go back, never un do never see what might have been? It feels funny that everything you do once you do it is just set in stone. My name is [......] but i dont quite like my name, so you can call me Ell,Victoria,Tori, or Jane. I've claimed lots of names as you can see, none of them being mine. But back to what i was saying, why must everything be how it is? Why must everything just....be? As much as my will to do anything has died, i still bere fading interests. I want there to be a reality where im a teacher, a poet, an author, a jazz artist, a painter, an illustrator why must I be a tired girl who cant acheive anything or do anything at all. If it's not become apparant, i have many dying interests. I think the only one im still passionate about is writing....and reading.. that's about it. Not even just passions and hobbies why cant there be a reality where i have longer hair, smaller eyes, a nicer body, more feminine features? Why are we tethered to one body one mind one reality? It seems like a rather silly question if you believe in past lives, but even those dont fufill what I mean. Even if i was all these things in another universe, im destined not to remember them. It doesn't matter much i guess. I dont feel in tune with any of those things anyway. I dont quite know what i want from the world because if i were to rembember all these other lifes I'd probably go crazy in worry about the next one but then again im already borderlining on crazy so whats one more reality with it?[Not my art]

Cheese

REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR AROMANTIC PEOPLE AND IF YOU THINK THEY ARE VALID

I want to see how many people actually are willing to say this and not just act like it

when is your birthday :)?

April the 18th :DD thank you for the question :DD

Nothing in the world belongs to me

Not happiness

Not misery

Not numbess

Not love

Not the tide and sea

All I have is the emptiness that inhabits thee

I cant stand to be myself

Drowning ship in the vast darkness of thoughts

Rain splashing down gently on the habour and all

The tide shortens but my heart keeps beating

The fish swim away and the jellyfish glow curiously

The ship slowly gets dragged in

Wilting and shedding sorrow like centaurea cyanus

Will this black pit in the sky ever cases?

Will these penumbra shackles ever release?

Will the ship ever sail again through the sea?

Will someone rescue and restore its sinking reality

The moon, the stars, and the children of the sea all watch with pityfull eyes

For The ship they can no longer see

Forever Lost in the night

In the stary sky

In the rains eye

All on alone

Floating away from thee

Trapped to try and reach the top of a sapphire sea

The ships' livelihood now a mere memory

I find it sad..that there are so many people so many lifes and realities I'll never get to experince, so many people I won't be able to be freinds with, so many people who i want to be but am defiant off, I look around and see an ocean of stories and hobbies and names and peraonalities but just like the real one the whole ocean is unatainable, maybe its my fault for not being content with the people around me on but when I get a new hyper fixations on a person I start to realise all the people around me, the people laughing and talking to their freinds people watching as their freinds play games or paying for someone elses food, all the lives I'll never get to know..all the life I'm missing out on, perhaps I'm just trying to fill my ever lasting hole of lonliness or perhaps I'm trying to fill my heart with somthing ive pushed away, but ill always hate knowing theres a life out there..I'll never know.[Not my art]

I always feel like I do something wrong for talking about how I'm feeling idk why

Winter is Nye:

Winter is coming.

"Winter is coming?"

..."Winter is coming!!"

Falling from the above camparible To the petals of lily valleys being scattered about.

Falling from the sky

Snow as white as the miser himself

comes down like the wallowing

of a tearful goodbye.

The sun shines no longer as

winter is Nye

Somewhere far away a person

Dances waiting for there love

A stream hums gently nearby

All alone in the pearly snow

The beauty something I will never get enough

The winter makes one's heart grow cold

Snow flakes cover Your tounge With frost

Flowers covered in snow to be lost

Dears and bears prance about

Trying to find shelter to rest

A snowflake falls upon you winters kiss.

Winter hath come a snowfall bliss

I think I've realised I'm bad luck. Everyone I meet every person I interact with as soon as I come into their lives. It all seems to turn to shit. Every second everyday I'm tourmented with paranoia that gets worse with people and I've found that that it manifests itself and fucks up other people's life. I feel like everyone would be better off without me, and I honestly wish they'd see that too, I think I have attachment issues because as soon as I befriend or come close with someone, I instantly desire to leave them, somtimes for selfish intent and somtimes for altruism but none the less I always do. I wish I had the guts to cut people of cold because as soon as I enter somones life as nice as I try to be I fuck up everyone around me without trying. I don't think I want to do that again. I dont think anyone deserves that, and I dont think I deserve anyone else. No one seems to be able to see that eventually, I'll just end up dragging people down. I'm a very avid reality thinker I often think of every conceivable reality where maybe things could be different but I know everyones life would be better if I wasnt in it, I'd rather they pain staklingly get support then wallow in their sadness while I coddle them, I've given up on myself and so should they. Im the losing dog that people bet on, and unbeknownst to them, they shouldn't.[Not my art] [Oc writing read desc for context]