I’ve Never Thought I Was Weird For Being Aromantic. Even When I Didn’t Know That I Was, Before I

While the plot of Barbie Princess Charm School (2011) is often criticized on the seemingly ridiculous method of assigning the scholarship via lottery, this in actuality works as a larger allegory for the world of higher academia: Madame Privet states that only 27% of the “lottery girls” graduate, and Blair, who comes from a lower class background, suffers, in addition to social ostracization on account of her socio-economic background, a learning curve, as she struggles with concepts that the other girls, who were all raised to be princesses, take for granted. We can presume, then, that the other girls who graduated were very likely from socio-economic backgrounds that encouraged them to receive training ahead of time in, for example, etiquette, history, geography, etc., giving them a distinct advantage in the system while disadvantaging girls from lower class backgrounds. The only means for students such as Blair to gain social mobility is via a mentor based system, in which a teacher, such as Madame Privet, personally oversees their education. While the scholarship maintains the illusion of equality, therefore, there is no equity in the system. We might compare this to the modern American academic system, which overwhelmingly claims to be merit-based while also overwhelmingly privileging students who can, for example, pay for extensive testing or an expensive undergraduate or MA degree. Furthermore, the emphasis on letters of recommendation puts an overwhelming pressure on students to maintain a good relationship with their supervisors which can in fact hide abusive power dynamics. In this essay I will….

I could never be a main character because I'm sensitive and insecure and depressed and I have anxiety and I would simply die after hearing anything mean directed at me even three times.

Thought I would share my depressing parody of “Gone Forever” by Three Days Grace because I’m actually a little proud of how it turned out. Trigger warning for depression. (I’m okay now in case anyone is worried.)

Don’t know what’s going on.

Don’t know why I’m wrong.

Feels like a hundred years my

Ambition has been gone.

And I stay up all night

With these bloodshot eyes

While these walls surround me;

Where’s the meaning of my life?

I’d feel so much better

If I were gone forever.

I tell myself you wouldn’t miss me at all.

It’s not lying, denying, that you’d feel so much better if I were

To be gone forever.

Wish feelings were more clear.

So do you need me here?

While I’m in dark surroundings,

D’you wish I’d disappear?

And I try hard to find

The reasons in my mind.

Until the morning comes I’ll

Just want to end my life.

Would you feel much better

If I were gone forever?

Tell yourself you wouldn't miss me at all.

Be lying, denying, that you’d feel so much better if I were

To be gone forever.

First time thoughts screamed at me

I tried hard not to leave.

I need to know it can get so much better.

I hope that you’d miss me.

I hope you make me see.

“Don’t be gone forever.”

Wish feelings were more clear.

I wish you’d need me here.

While I’m in dark surroundings,

Don’t let me disappear.

I want to feel better.

Don’t want to leave forever.

I tell myself that I would miss you all.

I’m not lying, denying, that I just want it better;

Now don’t let it be forever.

And now I want forever.

Don’t let me end forever.

Me: (does something)

Someone: (jokingly) What’s wrong with you?

Me, unable to understand the odd and bitter feeling I suddenly have: (jokingly) Everything.

Me, later that night, out loud, to myself: I’m autistic and was raised to hate myself for it, thanks for asking.

Do I want to buy it because I wanted to buy it back then and then made a plan to buy it and now I want to feel like I successfully followed through on a plan, or do I actually want it still

I wish I could stand by the sun and look at it without being blinded so that I can truly appreciate just how big it really is. I think that would be beautiful.

I just remembered, the whole reason I made a Tumblr account was because a Tumblr person said they wanted to talk to someone about the Magic Thief series, and I had just been thinking about reading them, and then I never did. And that person posted it in January, and I don’t know if they’re still into the series, so. . . I’m not gonna try.

I’m gonna JoJo my Stardew. Every new file will focus on the child of the previous file’s marriage. And they will all be named after birbs

We start with Pigeon

Imagine a fantasy book where all the characters are autistic and there's a mysterious oracle who only speaks in riddles, but it's not because they're cursed. It's because they're the only neurotypical and no one can understand them because they never say what they mean.