You Know What? Screw Future Cultural Relevance. I Want More Songs That Are Immediately Dated By Name

This. This is the level of sarcastic arrogance I strive to achieve; where even my weapons are snarky, contemptuous bitches

Something I did not expect was how profoundly funny it was to show up to the airport with a doctor’s note as a grown ass man to get out of doing the TSA’s naked machine

#Catch me at the stegosaurus concert

Edgar Allen Poe: There’s a body under the floorboards, it’s heart beats to the sound of your guilt.

Everyone else: umm...

Edgar Allen Poe: The raven knows your name, it knocks on your window, quoting forevermore.

Everyone else: You okay, bro?

Also, I like that the myth specifically states Medusa turns any man who looks at her eyes into stone, because when I first heard it my brain automatically decided Medusa was a lesbian and I’ve just had that in my brain for so long that it’s canon now

if medusa wears sunglasses do u not turn to stone

Anyone else feels like they overshare everything with others and at the very same time haven’t opened up at all to anyone

AKA any deer seen in the Midwest while drunk

A deer that seems to be following you.

2020 is that one guy you know who has to take everything up to 11

The queen is who we all aspire to be

Stalling for time be like