Physically, Yes, I Could Fight A Bird. But Emotionally? Imagine The Toll

Case #0190509, statement regarding an encounter with a group of entities calling themselves ‘The Mighty Nein’

everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit. and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies

hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year

Showing your favorite song to someone is so embarrassing lol what if I get a bad grade at my own taste and interests....

Gwaine doesn’t deny it he’s just ready to fight

*smoke emiting from clenched fist*

woman: OOOOoOOH NoO!!!! It’s meelltIINNGG!!

*ring melts off woman’s hand*

woman: MY PRECIOUS POWERRrRR RING! GONE FOORRVVERrrr..

woman: *screams like a pterodactyl* 

Slightly ominous answers to “are you a boy or a girl?”

-I’m everything you ever feared.

-If only it were that simple.

-You don’t want to know.

-I used to be.

-I honestly don’t know anymore.

-Not since the accident.

-If I were, you’d know.

-The doctors couldn’t make me choose, and neither can you.

-If you say so.

TOMORROW IS THE 4-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF HIM DOING IT TO US

National Holiday

concept: elves are supernaturally good at everything ONLY because they live to be bonkers old and if you were hot and sexy for thousands of years you’d be kickass at archery and treeclimbing and horseback riding too. but like there’s 20 year old elves out there that are just straight dumbasses who can’t do shit.

concept: non-elves can’t tell the 20 year old elves apart from the 2000 year old elves

concept: there’s a 20 year old elf in your tavern and he’s counting on this 

when i was in middle school nickelodeon on directv broke and it froze on the same frame for five hours. which would not have been so bad, except it was during the episode of spongebob where he goes to live with the jellyfish. specifically the scene where he’s naked and covered in sea urchins and flopping all over the place trying to get them off. and it froze on the frame where spongebob was facedown on the ground, naked. so he was laying there like that in complete silence for five hours. we would change the channel back every so often to see if he’d gotten up, but he was still like that when we went to bed. none of my friends had directv so when i asked them the next day they hadn’t seen it, but my brother and i were pretty convinced that spongebob was dead.