It’s Funny How Science Fiction Universes So Often Treat Humans As A Boring, Default Everyman Species

Humans are weird thing: Hiccups

I don't know if this has been done, but the first time a human gets hiccups when on an alien crew.

It is meal time and suddenly one human who finished eating faster than the others makes a loud sound that has yet to be documented. At first the aliens think that human Mike got suddenly excited and did a strange shout, but that possibility is thwarted when the sound is repeated. Human Mike scowls at the other humans who have started snickering at him.

Perhaps it is an angry noise? Why is Human Mike angry though? He did not show signs of it previously, and nothing has happened between eating and the noise to make him angry. Why must human emotions be so confusing?

"Try drinking water upside-down." Human Dawn suggests randomly, "That's what we always do where I grew up."

"No do NOT drink water upside-down!" An alien crew mate panics. "Doing so could cause you to choke and die!"

"NO!!!" All the aliens who have experience with humans shout at the crew mate who told Human Mike not to do it.

Everyone knows not to tell a human not to do something. It's the first rule in the handbook. They all sigh in resignation at the smirking humans.

Human Mike gets out of his seat, raises his arms, and flips to stand on his hands. Human Dawn who suggested the action is already prepared with her bottle of water. His body wobbles as he hiccups again, and she quickly pours it in his mouth.

There is a tense silence as the entire room watches. A moment later there is another hiccup large enough to send Human Mike tumbling to the floor, cursing loudly at his misfortune. The aliens breathe in relief, a higher up taking the new recruit out of the room for a refresher course on rule number one of dealing with humans.

Throughout the rest of the day, the other humans could be found trying to scare the hiccupping Human Mike with varying degrees of success. The hiccups finally stopped when Human Mike was trying to hold his breath, and Human Josh came up behind him and slammed into his back to scare him. It caused him to choke, yet he seemed grateful to Human Josh anyway.

If you’re taking prompts, can you do something with Jimmy overworking himself to the point of exhaustion and the other empires step in? I love sickfics with hurt/comfort.

Did I write this in less than an hour? Yes. It was wonderful. I've also posted the oneshot here on my Ao3 account!! Thanks so much for the prompt!

Jimmy wasn't sure quite what had happened, but he knew that he hadn't been in his bed with his cats sleeping on him the last time he opened his eyes.

Even more, he knew that no one lived with him, so the sounds of people downstairs and the smells of food coming from his kitchen were unusual and somewhat startling. He didn't quite have the energy to panic about it, however. So he pulled himself out of bed and began padding down the stairs, Norman cradled in his arms as Flick scampered along behind him.

Coming down to the base of the staircase, Jimmy blinked as he took in the sight of Sausage and Scott cooking in his kitchen as Lizzie and Joel played with Hermes in his living room. Shelby, Katherine, and Joey were sat on his couch near them as they seemed to be repairing his armor, which caused him to realize that the familiar weight of the protective gear wasn't pushing him down. Pixlriffs and Fwhip were going through some sort of paperwork over at his kitchen table. False was tinkering with his elytra and chatting with both of them. Gem and Oli had joined Sausage and Scott in the kitchen, but instead of cooking, they were pulling things out of storage and putting them back, presumably to sort the items.

"What are you all doing here?"

"Jimmy!" The rulers seemed to clamor over themselves to acknowledge the sheriff, causing the man to pull back from the attention. As he stepped back, his ankle caught the lowest stair, causing him to slip backward and land on his butt, now propped up by the fact that he was sitting on the third stair up from the floor.

"Everyone give him some space," Fwhip instructed, the man's voice carrying an edge that they didn't often see from the admin. "Jimmy, I found you collapsed out by the train. We were worried."

"Collapsed?" After a moment of thought, the story didn't surprise Jimmy as much as it should have. He had been over near the train earlier to deal with a few tasks that had cropped up, but he couldn't remember ever leaving the area.

"Have you been feeling okay, Sheriff?" Gem asked gently, approaching slowly and putting the back of her hand on Jimmy's forehead. The cool feel of her hand was soothing and Jimmy's eyes slipped shut only for him to hear: "Oh, Jimmy, you're burning up."

"I'll be fine. I've got stuff to do, gotta finish Tumble Town."

Gem frowned, unseen by the man in front of her, "You shouldn't be pushing yourself, Jimmy. You need to rest. If you've got a fever, you're not going to get better unless you allow yourself time to heal."

"Don't have time though. Already behind, not going to finish at this rate."

"What do you need to finish? If we can help, then maybe you could rest?" Katherine offered.

Jimmy frowned, a moment of uncertainty as he tried to figure out what to say, "Need to... need, uh, I have a list. It's in my vest pocket?"

Shelby recovered the article of clothing from the pile of garments that she sat next to, pulling a set of papers out of the pocket. It was then that everyone realized that it was not one page, but several, filled completely with to-do lists and duties that the sheriff had taken on.

Flipping through the pages, the witch finally looked up at Jimmy with concern etched into her features, "When do you find time to sleep, Jimmy?"

"But I just did?"

"You passed out!"

"But, I was sleeping? I had things to do, empire to run. You know how it is," Jimmy's nonchalance only seemed to concern his fellow rulers more, which confused him greatly.

"Jimmy, look at me?" Pix requested, drawing the younger man's attention his way. "Your health is always more important than your empire. Or anything else. You were collapsed on the ground in the middle of the day in the mesa. That can be dangerous."

"I have to finish my work though?"

"Jimmy, most of us don't even do all the things on this list. And you have things listed to do in other empires to help us."

"I'm the Sheriff. I have to make sure that everyone else's empires are safe and their citizens are doing well. Chromia's had a pillager problem recently and there's a spider nest that I haven't cleared out yet near the Eversea."

“You apparently also check in on some of our villagers at least once a week. And you have a task listed here that just says ‘double food supply’. Has Tumble Town been having trouble getting food?”

“Doesn’t really rain a lot here, crops don’t grow super well. We’ve got enough, but there’s some new families that have moved in and Lyra and Sara both had children last season. We’ve got more mouths to feed, but it’s been a bad harvest so far. Not really looking good going forward.”

“Oh Jimmy, you know I’ve got extra food. Dawn had a good harvest this year, we could easily help you!”

“Right. Yeah,” Jimmy agreed, though the vibrancy seemed to drop out of his voice.

Scott blinked, set down the utensils in his hand, and left the kitchen. He grabbed Jimmy’s chin with just enough force to direct the man’s movements, but not enough to hurt, moving the man’s gaze upward.

“You are not failing your empire. You are not failing us. You are doing everything you can and that’s enough. You don’t have to do extra things to make up for whatever you think you’re not doing. Jimmy, you are doing so well. But we’re worried because you’re doing so much extra that it’s hurting you.”

Jimmy searched Scott’s eyes for some hint as to the level of honesty that the collector was showing. Finding no sign of a lie, Jimmy began to blink back the tears of exhaustion that were finally making their appearance, the sheriff unable to hold them back any longer.

“Scott, I’m so tired.” The sheriff's words were weak, but the admittance and honesty rang loudly through the already quiet house.

Scott smiled gently, “Go rest, we’ve got you.”

Stewjoni are ancient bioweapons. Designed to hunt darksiders Au

The first time the troops see Obi-wan drop his human facade is when he tears Pong Krells throat out with his teeth.

Obi-wan had been having an uneasy feeling about the other Jedi and had diverted to check in when he saw what the man was doing. Then felt the darkside dripping off the man.

He completely lost his composure. He didn't even try to use his saber. Just launched himself at Krell and tore into him.

In the end Obi-wan was standing there in a daze as he calmed down. Blood all over him.

The troopers that witnessed the scene are in shock. Too stunned to move.

Finally Waxer and Fives pull themselves together enough to approach.

"General Kenobi? Wha-" Waxer starts. Biting his tongue when the jedi snaps his head around to look at him.

His eyes are glowing. Not yellow. Waxer feels a blinding wave of relief at that. Not sith yellow. But blue, with a hint of green. Some of his freckles are glowing too. A strange bioluminesance that theyve never seen displayed before.

"Sir, you okay?" Fives gathers the courage to ask.

Obi-wan blinks. The dazed, almost feral, look in his eye fades. He swollows, then grimaces. Likely from the blood in his mouth. He clears his throat and opens his mouth to answer.

His teeth have changed. Now slightly longer and sharp.

"'M fine." The redhead rasps. Voice holding a hint of something guttural. "The men?"

Waxer glances back to the troops. They still havent moved, but they also seem to have relaxed a bit.

"Fine. Everyones fine. General, what happened just now?" Waxer asks.

The jedi makes an odd trilling noise. "Ah... I may have... Lost my control. I apologize for scaring you all."

Five snorts. "Scaring us? General that was the hottest kriffing thing ive ever seen!"

Waxer doesnt hesitate to punch the ARC trooper.

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Was a plo koon warmup initially as suggested by @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life when I encountered this dialogue idea from @totallycorrectjediorderquotes and it went overboard from there! The “Protocol” number is indeed a reference to something in star wars, so I’m curious to see if anyone figures it out!

I am having thoughts about Corrie Massiffs.

About them being trained as emotional support animals as well as their actual jobs.

About them being long lived (maybe 30-50 year life span) and choosing their corries as their people to protect.

Sensing when their corries need support and helping them though panic attacks and anxiety issues, helping them sleep and guarding them through the night. Helping with their fears and drawing them out of dark spiralling thoughts and having the best hugs.

Thinking about the Corries also being the massiffs emotional support people who do just as much for them, who love them oh so dearly. Who play games with them and always try to get them treats and protect them with everything they have.

Thinking about the way the Massiffs would calm their corries down, little nudges and heads on laps or sitting on them entirely.

Thinking about how neither the corrie nor the massiff like to be apart.

Thinking about about them whining over the bodies of their corries and refusing to move, nudging them desperate for them to wake up. Having to be pulled away and never being the same after.

Thinking about them sitting by the door to the icebox room and refusing to move until their corrie comes back, then following right next to them as they're helped to a space to lie down and curling up with them so their person can take their body heat and feel warm and safe and letting their corries hug tight.

Thinking about the massiffs sitting outside the med bay and just whining and scratching on the door. About Grizzer refusing to move and sounding distressed after Hound was carried in and about Hound finally waking with Grizzer on his lap.

About everything getting all too much all of a sudden for Pup and Bumble pulling him away to get him somewhere quieter and then putting her head in his lap and licking his face and being a warm solid presence for Pup to focus on and calm down and feel safe.

About massiffs knowing their corries are overworking themselves and trying to make them sleep. Of Grizzer knowing it upsets Hound and that Fox is almost his person too so he steals Fox's datapad and leads him to his bed then sits on him. Fox scratches him behinds the ear with a very soft chuckle and admits he could probably do with a few hours.

Grizzer trying to get the smell of Palpatine off of Fox. All the massiffs trying to get the smells of Senators off their corries and take the horrible smell of distress away.

Thinking about no-Order 66 where the massiffs stay with their corries and help them with their recovery post-war and this spreading through the GAR. They get even more training on how to be support animals and they love getting to help and love their people who love them so dearly back.

Thinking about Order-66, and the massiffs not understanding whats happened to their corries. Why they're not them anymore.

About any blackout mission and their corries aren't behaving like their people and they don't smell of anything, not fear not joy not sadness not anything they can usually sense, they can't read any emotion off their corries and they don't know what to do. Trying to get them to react, trying to bring them out of it or simply waiting for them to come back and being worried until they do.

You know, just thinking thoughts...

Mentally combining the "bees are unionized and will leave if they don't like their working conditions" post with the various "humans stow away on alien spaceships and do the jobs that are too dangerous for more fragile species" posts

@hopeswhcre

Lmao an AU of my AU.

The Force watching Obi-wan be made by some crazy person. Technically Obi-wan is an artificial child of the Force. They don't have the same connection to the Force as a true child would but its enough that the Force loves them like an adopted child. Even if their new kid cant talk to them directly, only able to sense the Feelings the Force sends them.

The Force does not like it that the crazy person decides that their new adopted child should be decommissioned as a failure.

Force decides to nudge the Jedi into going to get Obi-wan.

They watch their adopted child grow and when Obi is like 15 (still struggling with being so different from everyone else) the Force decides Obi seems lonely and they had been wanting to have another child anyway.

Anakin is born. When Anakin is 9 the Force nudges the Naboo shuttle to Tatooine. The Force drops Anakin into Qui-gon Jinns path.

Force kinda gets grumpy when the jedi try to separate their kids. When Qui-gon dies and joins the Force, he gets to hang out and watch over their kids.

The council is still on the fence about letting Anakin stay. They already had to deal with Obi-wans insane childhood of him trying to hunt people to eat them if they were too dark in the force. Did they really want to deal with potential Chosen One bullshit?

When Obi-wan tells Yoda that he's gonna train Anakin the Force shoves the message of 'listen here u little shit, you keep my babies together or so help me-' to the little green master.

Anakin who CAN talk to the Force like they're a physical person in the same room looks at Obi-wan and goes "Oh! My parent says your my big brother. They also say Master Qui-gon and them are real proud of you."

Obi-wan tries very hard not to tear up.

The council is like "your parent?"

"Yeah. They say you call them the Force... Also they say that you better be nice or they are gonna let everyone know what happened on Alderaan last year." Anakin says, making eye contact with several council members.

Mando weeb Obi-wan decides to nickname the Force Buir. Anakin likes it and adopts it.

It leads to things like

"Buir says you need to eat more." *said to Obi-wan constantly*

"Buir said to take you to the healer halls." "Buir is a snitch." *anakin to Obi-wan who's hiding an injury*

"Buir says sorry for the shatterpoints. They didn't know it would do that." "That what would do that?" "They say im not old enough to know yet. Maybe in a couple thousand years theyll tell me." "... Where is Obi-wan?" *conversation with Mace Windu*(the force did some mystical eldritch magic mushrooms once and when they sobered up shatterpoints were a thing)

"Buir wants to talk to you." "Do this, how would I?" "Uh, they said meditate really hard. They'll try yelling and see if you can hear them." "Hmm bad idea i sense this is, try it I will." *conversation with Yoda hours before yoda falls into a Force induced coma for a few days while he, the Force and Qui-gon hang out*

The jedi also have to handle a child that can sometimes alter the very fabric of the universe to get extra dessert. They mainly let Obi-wan handle it since apparently Obi is the only one able to put Anakin in timeout without the Force getting grumpy about it.

I love the idea of Palpatine being outed way early by Anakin (age 10) who now has 0 filter for what the Force is telling them since they aren't going to get in trouble by a slave master for repeating it.

"Buir says you're a sleemo. It's not nice to pressure someone into giving you contact with a child." Anakin says in the middle of a gathering of senators. The Force had been ranting about Sheev being mean to Obi-wan for hours now.

"Anakin!" Obi-wan pretends to scold even tho he really didn't want to be here or let the Chancellor near his brother. Buir had been sending the very bad vibes.

"Well I hardly think an innocent invite to a small thank you party is pressuring." Sheev says trying to stop the side-eyes the senators are now giving him.

Anakin (who is now saying word for word what the Force is saying): "Calling someone every day for weeks and implying you'd cut funding to the temple if he didn't let you have access to me isn't an innocent invitation. Especially since you also implied you wanted more private meetings after."

Obi-wan sees the look of absolute rage on Sheevs face and decides it's time to go. He grabs his padwan and runs. Ignoring the instincts demanding he go back and EAT the Chancellor of the Republic.

The next day headlines all over the holonet are like 'Chancellor Palpatine on the run from authorities after being accused of trying to groom child'

Anakin to the council: "Buir says hes a Sith, so your welcome."

Obi-wan also in the council chamber: "Oh! So THATS why i had the strong urge to eat him."

The council sits in horrified silence for a while. Until Yoda sighs and says he'll be taking another vacation to talk to the force.

Sidious still tries for the Clone Wars. Only the Force is like not about that. They like how things are chill right now. Their kids are having fun doing Jedi things.

They have Obi-wan and Anakin find Kamino 3 years early. Both Anakin and Obi-wan kick Jango and the other trainers off planet. These clones are their family now. Looks like the jedi are getting a lot of new members. Just gotta get these chips out first.

The war still breaks out. Palpatine is head of the Separatists. Angry that his clone army was stolen he commissioned droids to replace them. His plan now is to crush the republic and jedi with brute force instead of a carefully executed betrayal, not hiding that he's a sith at this point.

Ahsoka is not the Forces child. At first. The council gives this feral child to Anakin to take care of and train praying that they will both mellow out. Shes perfect. Shes the same brand of disaster that the rest of them are. The force is constantly nagging at Anakin to give her sweets and wrap her in soft blankets and teach her how to stab better. Anakin learns very quickly that a feral Togruta with a laser sword hopped up on sugar isn't a great idea. That maybe listening to the eldritch being with no physical body for the sugar high togruta to latch onto with their teeth isn't the best plan for raising a child. How did Obi-wan manage this?

Obi-wan, having flashbacks to his padwan changing shape into a horrible nightmare fueled beast in the dead of night before crawling into Obi-wans bed or lighting a man on fire with his mind for flirting with Obi-wan too long or the time he simply tore a hole in reality to get another slice of cake, laughs and laughs and laughs. Cody pats him on the back. Clearly his adopted jetii'vod is having a breakdown.

Can I ask how you do rendering so well? I’ve been trying for a while and I’ve only been able to figure out basic shading.

firstly, Thank you!

Secondly, heres a fun behind the scenes of my art! I start with choosing a consistent environmental light. This is something to help the character seem more grounded in the scene. This can be as simple as making a new layer and flooding it a light colour to set everything in the same scene.

Next is figuring out where the lighting is coming from, and making the shadows and THEN where the light actually hits as a part of the shadow/multiply layer. I make an additional layer for overlay for the brightest highlights!

the rest is honestly just studying how light lands on different objects! like learning the planes of the face is super important and im still learning how it works!

This is a wonderful reference I use a lot, as well as honestly??? Just experimenting and practising! learning about things like different kinds of shadows and contouring is always good.

Hope this helps!

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I