Honestly “thanks I Hate It” Is One Of The Funniest Phrases In The English Language

Humans are deathworlders prompt:

Humans have been known as a terrifying, strong species that can kill and eat almost anything.

Others across the galaxy tell their children that humans are dangerous, using their concept as a sort of boogeyman.

The problem is, many of the alien children think that humans are SUPER COOL and AWESOME, (kind of like how many human children view dinosaurs but smaller) and they would do anything to meet one up close

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Clone trooper armor design and mechanics for The Clone Wars TV series

Modern AU where Obi-Wan is teaching a class (probably linguistics or poetry but NOT classic lit miss me with classic lit Obi ew, but possibly a few others possible but not for this AU cause he needs both a classroom and an office connected) and he’s one of those professors that has their office connected in the back (some schools do it and consider it nicer on the faculty) and halfway through the lecture the door to his office pushes open (him being the only one not noticing) and a small four year old tumbles out and goes up to him, handing him up a snack pack for him to open. He takes the pack without pausing, starts to open it, pauses… looks down… and his left eye twitches. ‘Leia where did you come from?’ *toddler points to his office* ‘did your dad put you in there? Where’s your brother.’ ‘Dad had an emergency PHD meeting with Doctor Windu. Luke’s sleeping.’

Obi-Wan sighs, counts to ten, and opens up the snack pack for the kiddo, pats her on the head and calls her his secret favorite (he tells both of them that constantly) and sends her back to her brother.

This incident is never talked about during that class but since she mentioned a dad who’s getting a PHD who put her and her brother in there, AND the students know he’s gay and has a cute partner, they just assume it’s his kids. Someone asks him about his kids next class and he thinks they saw Cody dropping him off with Mara (off to preschool) and Ahsoka (off to her classes as a sophomore) and answers about them very honestly.

There are so many mistakes being made. When they see Anakin with ‘Obi-Wan’s’ kids one day and ask him about him since they saw the kids in class one day, and Ani mentions that the academic thing runs in the family even tho they’re all adopted. This just cements it for them that Anakin and Obi-Wan are married with adopted twins.

Actually. No. Their generation was the one that partially broke the tradition. Whoops.

ok… strap in, because it’s going to be a WALL of text as @kalm5​ and I came up with Rally racing modern!AU

The idea is “split” into 2 parts:

1. Anakin meets Rex and they form a rally race team (Anakin – driver + Rex – navigation)

2. Ahsoka begs Anakin to mentor her + Rex becomes the young woman’s navigator to see if she’s any good.

The bullet points (that are under the cut/read more) are for the “1st part” of the plot, and are NOT everything @/Kalm5 and I came up with (I might add more stuff if I decide to draw more artworks for this AU)

Enjoy!

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Was a plo koon warmup initially as suggested by @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life when I encountered this dialogue idea from @totallycorrectjediorderquotes and it went overboard from there! The “Protocol” number is indeed a reference to something in star wars, so I’m curious to see if anyone figures it out!

by far the best part of grocery shopping is the little babies. i was carefully selecting mushrooms when i felt upon me a piercing gaze and looked up to see a very chubby and very red-cheeked baby staring intently at me from a grocery cart with a slightly furrowed brow, hand clutching an apple for dear life. i wiggled a mushroom at her and she gasped and kept staring. i turned back to the mushrooms and heard a shriek. i turned around and the baby stared in anticipation. i wiggled another mushroom and she shrieked again in delight. she looked down at the apple in her hand, considering it for a moment. fair-minded as she was, she decided it would only be right to wiggle produce at me in return, and she held up the apple and shook it with all her might. i think i could live forever now

It was a ship wide rule to never interrupt human’s movie night. It was a quiet and safe group activity to strengthen their pack bond, and it was normally a movie that other species couldn’t understand. I knew this rule, but curiosity got the better of me.

After watching the entire movie with the humans, I went to the ship’s biologist. He allowed me inside.

“What troubles you Cannan?” Ghro asked.

“I joined the humans’ movie night. I had always heard their movies were more, fantastical. The feats were certainly impossible, but there appeared to be no discernible story. The humans seemed very intense while watching, so I know I must be missing context.”

Ghro nodded. “Many human movies require specific context to understand. Tell me, what is the name of the movie and I will research it for you.”

“They called it Olympic.”

Ghro paused. “Cannan, this is very important, did they call it only by Olympic or was there something else?”

“The Olympic maybe. Does that matter?” I asked.

Ghro nodded, and pressed a button to page a medic.

“You’re scaring me,” I said, glancing instinctively towards an exit.

“What you saw was not a fictional movie. You were watching The Olympics, a quadrennial competition of human athletes all attempting to best previous human limits.”

I laughed. “No, of course not. One human ran 100 minsecs in 8.97 seconds. You can’t possibly expect me to be so foolish as to believe you.”

Ghro said nothing. I frowned.

“This isn’t funny Ghro.”

“I’m not joking.”

I stood up, aggravated. “I know humans are absurd but they aren’t super beings. They have limits. Humans are meant for land and climbing, so the female who swam faster than a frullo is not real.”

Ghro said nothing again. I shook my head.

“Take it back! It’s not real! Humans cannot lift as much as a Helvsparr! Four arms are stronger than two!”

Ghro glanced at the page indicator. He wouldn’t tell me the truth. I felt anxiety rise. I grabbed my arms.

“Humans aren’t capable of that. They just aren’t. Their bodies can’t handle it.” I insisted.

“Those humans in the Olympics train their entire lives to reach these limits and push past them. You are not the first to fail to understand how their body allows this. Many scientists have been retired because their minds could not grasp the lunacy of human biostats.”

I had to know. I had to know. I turned and ran.

-

I knew Cannan was not prepared for the truth. Unfortunately his species, Faetatia, can identify lies with frightening accuracy. I had no choice but to give him the truth.

He could not handle the truth, and so his instinct to run kicked in. I got up and followed him, keeping a safe distance. I also alerted the medics to find us in the halls.

I found Cannan gripping a human, Mario, and screeching for the truth. Mario looked concerned and unsure.

Medics came and used a gas to render Cannan unconscious and carted him away. He would undergo testing to be sure his mental functions were still well and then reassigned to a ship without humans.

“Ghro, what happened?” Mario asked.

“Cannan watched the Olympics and could not believe that humans are capable of such things.”

“Oh. You told him those were extreme cases right? Not every human is like that?” Mario asked.

“I could not, because every human has the potential. That thought frightens many, too many.”

“I guess the Olympics are gonna be banned on ship wide movie nights then, huh?” Mario asked.

“I’m not sure. They do just as good a job of pacifying humans as they do frightening other species, so it is the Captains call.”

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I’m trying to prove something.