This Was Fun!

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DYING AT OBI-WAN ROASTING THE SITH THE JEDI ONLY USE LIGHTSABERS BECAUSE OF WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT WHO THEY ARE AS A PEOPLE “BUT THE SITH USE THEM AS WELL?” “WELL THAT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE OBSESSED WITH US.” AND LIKE HE’S NOT WRONG. THE SITH ARE PRETTY OBSESSED WITH THE JEDI AND I’M JUST LOSING IT BECAUSE OBI-WAN CALLING THE SITH A BUNCH OF OBSESSED LOSERS IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE FUNNIEST THING

„ Sir „ The alien asked his commander

„ Why are humans considered one of the most dangerous species ?

They do not posses any special powers ,

They are dependent on so many factors to live

They are fleeing , their lifespan isn’t more than 2 centuries ? “

The commander stayed still . After a long pause , in which the alien soldier already admitted defeat he spoke :

“ Because they learn not to fear death.

Not all of them . But some.

They overcome the biggest unknown the universe offers . They simply conquer it . They risk their life’s for war , for emotions , sometimes even for fun. Fully aware that their one chance is so insignificant . Fully aware they might not live to even a century .”

The commander turned towards the soldier .

“ No other species has ever learned that. Even our race , that lives for millions of years , shivers and screams as the dark void that consumes everything comes to get us.

Humans are terrifying because they play with that void on a daily basis. Some of them even long for it.

Can you imagine , soldier ?

A human could live for only 20 solar circles and long for the unknown void . How could it feel so much in such short time span ? How could it look the horror that the unknown brings and reach out for it ?”

The aliens eyes widened, and he stepped back

“ Everybody fears the void . It’s impossible not too” He didn’t fully believe his commander . Yet he couldn’t deny the insanity with which humanity moved forward .

The commander made a sound that was considered a chuckle in their race .

“ Say that to the next human you meet and watch, how they defy that in every way .”

You, the queen of a fairy tale kingdom, got cursed to give birth to a princess who’s going to live her life isolated in a tower the first 20 years of her life. Narrate how you avoid your daughter’s fate.

Snippet of a thing im not going to finish:

Obi-wan and Anakin meet Jango years before cannon. Jango is on a Job for Dooku. Ani and Obi are on a mission to help a tiny moon celebrate a holiday. Of course it all goes wrong and the crash into Jango during their escape, Anakin may accidently kidnap him thinking its a rescue. One thing leads to another and they go on a roadtrip to kill a sith.

"My mom is the best!" Anakin gushed. "She raised me all on her own as a slave. Managed to help start an underground railroad for escaped slaves. And saved 2 jedi all on her own."

Jango nodded. He liked the sound of Shmi Skywalker. Couldn't wait to meet her. Curiously he turned to the third person in their impromptu team up. The redheaded jedi. Who so far had been quietly working away on a plan for their roadtrip to murder a sith.

"What about your parents?" Jango asked. He may as well. He'd already shared information about his buir.

"Hmm? Oh they sold me to slavers when I was 2. Not sure what they're doing now." He answered absently. Voice calm and disinterested.

A loud crash broke the following silence. "What?!" Anakin exclaimed having dropped the small deactivator he was working on for the clone slave chips. "Your parents sold you?!"

Obi-wan finally looked up from his pad. Looking a bit confused. "The jedi found me a few months later. I don't even remember any of it. There's no need to be upset about the past Ani."

Jango bit back his scathing response to that. "What planet are you from?" He asks. Though he's got a good idea. Redheads were pretty sparce in the galaxy. Only coming from a few mostly insular planets. It would also explain why Jango's first urge when meeting had not been to kill the annoying man, but to get him away from danger.

"Stewjon." He answers. No sign of him understanding the implications of what sitting a few feet from a mandalorian means for him.

Jango resist the urge to groan. Of course he would meet the 1 Stewjoni who didn't know about the Call. And he was a kriffing Jedi of all things.

Anakin nearly chokes on his own gasp as he of all people realizes what's going on. The teens eyes snap to Jango and he stabs a finger at him. "I'll toss you out the airlock. I swear to the force. Don't you even-"

"I wasn't!" Jango snaps. He is not getting threatened by some baby jedi. Not even if part of him is crowing with excitement at being so close to one of his people. Jedi or not the redhead belonged to his people. To the Mand'alor.

"Sorry. What's going on?" Obi-wan demands. Scowling at the other two men.

"Everyone's joke about you being mando bait is more literal than previously thought." Anakin answers before Jango can. "You're not allowed be be alone with Jango anymore." He puffed up when Obi-wan snorted in response.

"Anakin-"

"He has a right to be worried. Though I have more control over myself than he thinks, others might not." Jango cut in.

Obi-wan frowned. Looking between them. "I think you may need to explain."

Idk if I’ve mentioned this before but in the animagus AU, Fox is an actual fox animagus. Because of that, in his shifted form, he’s just a kit. Since he got outed as an animagus, he’s often expected to make random shows to the public in his shifted form. At first Palpatine tried to take advantage to claim he’s such a loving and caring chancellor. But then the first time Fox was shifted around him happened.

Fox as a human is very confident and tired. Fox as a kit is very scared and nervous. Which lead to him straight up cowering in fear of the chancellor. Which lead to rumors (fueled covertly by clones that suspect some shit goin on) that the chancellor abuses animaguses.

Which leads to people dredging up an 11 year report of Master Jinn refusing to let his grandpadawan alone with the chancellor cause he himself has raised multiple boys and knows that old men asking to be alone with them is NEVER good.

Which leads to rumors that Palpatine isnt… nice… to animaguses. Which leads to them assuming Palpatine abuses commander Fox.

Can you see where I’m going with this? Cause this is where the start of Palpatine’s decline happened.

Tundi sees Jesse: omg you’re here you’re here I’ve missed… I mean… hi. (they hug and cry and all is good)

Pup, sees Thunder: you’re here you came you… stop fussing I’m fine. (Lots of hugs and deep convos and Bumble trying to trip Thunder)

Fox sees his batch: you… came? You’re here? You… you care? (confusion and a little bit of venting then immediate forgiveness and hugs)

Stone, seeing his batchmates: you know what you did… (Boulder does not know but he plans on working it out so he can get his brother back)

Hound, dancing: my batch died 3 whole years ago, doo dah doo dah, but they loved me when they died, do-da-do-da-day

Stewjoni are ancient bioweapons. Designed to hunt darksiders Au

The first time the troops see Obi-wan drop his human facade is when he tears Pong Krells throat out with his teeth.

Obi-wan had been having an uneasy feeling about the other Jedi and had diverted to check in when he saw what the man was doing. Then felt the darkside dripping off the man.

He completely lost his composure. He didn't even try to use his saber. Just launched himself at Krell and tore into him.

In the end Obi-wan was standing there in a daze as he calmed down. Blood all over him.

The troopers that witnessed the scene are in shock. Too stunned to move.

Finally Waxer and Fives pull themselves together enough to approach.

"General Kenobi? Wha-" Waxer starts. Biting his tongue when the jedi snaps his head around to look at him.

His eyes are glowing. Not yellow. Waxer feels a blinding wave of relief at that. Not sith yellow. But blue, with a hint of green. Some of his freckles are glowing too. A strange bioluminesance that theyve never seen displayed before.

"Sir, you okay?" Fives gathers the courage to ask.

Obi-wan blinks. The dazed, almost feral, look in his eye fades. He swollows, then grimaces. Likely from the blood in his mouth. He clears his throat and opens his mouth to answer.

His teeth have changed. Now slightly longer and sharp.

"'M fine." The redhead rasps. Voice holding a hint of something guttural. "The men?"

Waxer glances back to the troops. They still havent moved, but they also seem to have relaxed a bit.

"Fine. Everyones fine. General, what happened just now?" Waxer asks.

The jedi makes an odd trilling noise. "Ah... I may have... Lost my control. I apologize for scaring you all."

Five snorts. "Scaring us? General that was the hottest kriffing thing ive ever seen!"

Waxer doesnt hesitate to punch the ARC trooper.

Boba Fett is a better Bounty Hunter than you.

Nice try, Boba. Yer gonna have to do better than that.

OBI-WAN KENOBI 1.01 | Part I

Literally me and my dnd party

wake up besties, new meme format just dropped