Stargirl | Matildas X Original Character Fic [part Fifteen]

Something out of a rom com | Steph Catley x reader

Summary; The night of Steph’s 30th birthday party leads to the telling of your romantic love story that really should be made into a rom com. 

Words; 2.5k

Pairing; Steph Catley x reader

Warnings; none really, pure fluff

A/N; This is in honour of her birthday and I wrote it because I had the idea during a shower and I just had to write it. It might not be the best but hopefully it's cute and decently written. I’ve also got two blurbs for other players in the process atm so stay tuned for that!

The 26th of January. A seemingly normal day to most people, but it was in fact one of your favourites. It not only marks the day you met the love of your life and future wife, but it coincidentally happened to be her birthday as well. It also happened to be today's date once again. 

So here you sat in your shared living room, Steph snuggled up to you on the couch surrounded by some of the people who loved her the most after a very successful 30th birthday party. 

A lot of other party goers had left as it was getting late, except for almost half of her Arsenal teammates who always seemed to linger after events such as these, not that you minded. 

Different conversations littered the room, most didn’t make sense because of the alcohol that was still flowing. But it was the newest team member Emily Fox who brought the group back together. 

“So, how long have you guys been together?” Emily asked, sitting directly across the room from you and Steph. 

“Almost 3 years now.” Steph smiled at her and the rest of the group listened in. 

“Oh my god, their relationship story is like something out of a rom com!” Jen talked excitingly whilst looking at Emily. 

“What do you mean?” You looked at Jen first and then down to Steph who looked just as confused. 

“Wait, I’ve never heard the full story.” Kyra piped up from her place on the floor beside Alessia. 

“Me either.” Alessia raised a finger while looking between you and Steph.

“It’s not that exciting.” Steph let out a laugh which caused Kyra and Alessia to pout. 

“Yes it is. Now listen up children…” Beth cleared her throat from the other edge of the couch next to Viv who was rolling her eyes as Beth began to tell your love story. 

6 years ago, January 26th 2018

“Oh come on, just let us go out one last time before you leave me forever!” Your best friend was standing in your room as you laid on your bed and stared up at her. 

“Do I have to?” You tried giving her puppy eyes but it wasn’t working, she walked closer to your bed, sitting down and taking your hands in hers.

“You, my best friend of 10 plus years, are leaving me for London for who knows how long.” She pouted at you. “Of course you have to go out with me one last time. So get up, look hot and start drinking.” She pulled your covers off you and dragged you to your vanity, placing a drink in front of you and leaving to go get ready herself. 

Over an hour later you were both ready and a little tipsy, ready to leave and adventure into the Melbourne nightlife. 

It took a while for you to find a club that was half decent and didn’t have ridiculously overpriced drinks but you secured a place in the corner and were finishing your like 10th drink of the night. 

“I’m going to get another, you want one?” You shouted over the music to your friend and pointed to the bar. She shook her head before talking into your ear.

“I’m gonna go on the dance floor, come find me when you're done?” She pointed to where most people congregated and you sent her a thumbs up before weaving through way too many drunk people. 

You accidently bumped into someone as you tried to reach the bar, someone else pushing you in the crowd causing you to fall into her. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You apologised as she began to turn around and you suddenly found yourself staring at the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. 

“Don’t even, it’s so fine.” She replied with a sweet smile and placed a hand on your arm sending chills up it. 

“I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s your birthday?” You laughed as your eyes drifted down the sash she was currently wearing. 

“My friends made me wear it, hoping I could score us a few free drinks.” She shook her head and laughed with you. 

“Well, let’s not disappoint and let me buy you a drink.” You smiled at her and if it weren't for the dark lighting, you would have seen the blush that accompanied her beautiful smile. 

“You don’t have to.” She immediately rejected but this time you reached down and held her arm. 

“I insist, birthday girl.” You winked before leading her through the crowd again and finally reaching the bar. “Order whatever you want.” You leant down to her ear as you waited for a bartender. 

She politely asked the bartender for her drink of choice before he looked over to you.

“Make it two, please.” You smiled before pulling your card out to pay. You both thanked the bartender before walking away and standing against a wall out of the way. 

“Thank you.” She looked up at you with a smile again. 

“My pleasure.” You couldn't stop staring at her, she was the most beautiful person ever and she was talking to you. “Wanna go dance? I told my friend I would meet her when I was done.” You asked after finishing your drinks in silence.

“I would love to, but…” She looked down at her watch and you could feel the smile falling off your face. “I’ve got an early morning and my cut off was supposed to be 12.” She made a pout at you.

“That’s okay, I get it.” You nodded and sent her a tight lipped smile.

“There is something I have to do before I go though.” She sent you a smirk and you creased your eyebrows in confusion. 

“What?” You looked down at her, barely having any time to think before she reached up and kissed you hard, placing a hand on your face. Immediately your hand fell to her waist and you fell into a rhythm.

The kiss was very nice and a little long but it ended and you parted with big smiles. 

“I really have to go now.” She smiled and let out a little laugh. 

“Okay cinderella.” You bit your lip before letting her go and she ran off through the crowd to find her friends. You stood in a daze for a second before a hand clasped your shoulder, shaking you out of your trance.

“Oh my god, who was that?” Your best friend had spotted the end of the kiss as she came to find you but didn’t see her face. 

“Um,” You blinked before turning to her. “I… don’t… know.” You realised she never shared her name and neither did you. And now she was gone; a mystery kiss from the mystery birthday girl. 

3 years later, May 19th 2021

You have been in London for 3 years now, working for an event planning company, establishing a close group of friends and having the time of your life. 

Some of the friends you made had managed to drag you along to a women's football match now that people were allowed back to the matches after the covid lockdown last year, despite your lack of interest in or awareness of the sport, either male or female.

So here you were at Meadow Park on a Wednesday evening, watching a sport you’ve never taken interest in but were enjoying to some degree in the fading spring sun.

“I told you. I knew you would enjoy it eventually.” Your friend shoved your shoulder after seeing you get up when it was thought a shot might finally go in for the home side and her team of choice, Arsenal. 

“Yeah, yeah.” You brushed her off, eyes focused on the game at play and becoming more and more invested with each pass. 

It wasn’t till halfway through the second half that a certain defender caught your eye as she ran past and towards the opposite end of the field. There was something about her that seemed so familiar but you couldn’t place it. 

The game ended in a 0-0 draw and left you with a new interest that would soon turn into a regular outing on Sundays and Wednesdays, instead of your regular dinner and drinks throughout the week. 

The players began to do their rounds and you stuck around, waiting to spot a certain defender once again and figure out the mystery that was the jersey with ‘Catley’ plastered over her back.

She had been talking with another player as they walked, eyes scanning the crowd for any fans with signs or hopeful smiles when she found your eyes further up, you resting along the barrier. The words fell from her lips and the player beside her was tapping her shoulder in an attempt to gain her focus once again but it was no use. 

“One sec.” She gently spoke before running over to where you were standing, now looking down at your phone and missing her completely until a familiar accent fell on your ears. 

“Hi.” She gave you a smile and your head whipped up from your screen, finding that beautiful face from all those years ago in your sights again. 

“Hi.” You breathed out as you assessed her features and reassured yourself you weren’t once again imagining those eyes that plagued your dreams every few months. 

“Fancy seeing you here, halfway across the world.” She spoke again, noticing that you were in a sort of daze still. 

“Uh yeah. Sorry, this is just so weird.” You shook your head, letting out a laugh. “Not in a bad way,” You spoke quickly. “I just never thought I would see you again. Especially not halfway across the world.” She smiled at your shyness, the opposite to the confident you she remembers; though you are quite confident with alcohol in your system. 

“Yeah.” Steph laughed and continued to analyse your features, every part of that night coming back to her in full view rather than scattered pieces of memory like she has for the last three years. 

“So,” You tried to keep the conversation flowing, realising you would have to wrap up soon so she could get back to her team and you to your friends. “Do you think I could finally get the name and number that's not on the back of your shirt? I think that’s something you forgot all those years ago.” You smiled at her and began pulling your phone from its place in your pocket. 

She let out a laugh, a real one before nodding. “Oh yeah. I guess so.” She held your phone in her hands and began adding a contact in, handing it back quickly. “There you go.”

“Thank you.” You took a look at your phone before returning eye contact with her, feeling once again that same thing inside your chest from the night you first met. “I’ll call you, Steph.” You nodded, beginning to retreat from the barrier and up the stairs. 

“And who should I be expecting said call from?” She called out to you, stopping you in your tracks to turn your head back around. 

“Y/N.” You smiled before being the one walking away this time and leaving her with a dazed expression and confused friends. 

“Who was that?” Beth appeared beside her, looking at the retreating girl Steph had just interacted with but couldn’t see the face. 

“Um,” Steph shook her head. “An…old…friend.” She turned her face to Beth who was more confused than ever but began walking towards the changerooms with the rest of the team. 

Over the next few weeks it seemed like you and Steph were texting every spare second you each had when she wasn’t training and you weren't working, even before you could finally arrange a time to meet up and have your official first date. 

She suggested you go out for dinner one night before she was set to go off and play in the delayed 2020 Tokyo Olympics over the summer. You had the best time together, chatting for hours and catching up on everything over the past few years, talking as if you had known each other forever. The night ended and she walked you back to your apartment which happened to be just down the street from hers, once again leaving you with a kiss that left you feeling dazed; but this time she couldn’t run and hide from you. 

After watching and cheering on Steph and the national team at the Olympics from home, you knew that this was the person you wanted to pursue a future with. 

So when she came back you made it official with one another, a private time for the two of you to continue to learn everything about one another until you were ready to share it with your friends and the world. 

After a few months of secretly dating, realising this is how the rest of your life was going to look like, you began to share with friends, family and eventually the media which caused a flurry in the football world because of Steph’s public status. It turned out to be even better for your relationship now that you could express your love for one another to other people. 

“And then last year, Steph decided to pop the question the day before Y/N wanted to do it.” Beth concluded the story, somehow managing to keep everyone invested despite the late hour and disappearing energy from tonight's events. 

“Thank you Beth, that was quite an accurate retelling.” You smiled over at the blonde, reaching out for a high whilst trying not to disturb Steph who had actually fallen asleep. “But I think you bored Stephy here to sleep.” You brushed the hair on her head and her eyes snapped open with a sharp inhale. 

“Huh?” Steph began to sit up, looking around the room in confusion, all of her teammates letting out small giggles, you simply looking down at her with admiration. 

“I think you’re too old now for all this partying darling.” You laughed at her watching her face form into a scowl. 

“I am 3 months older than you!” She pointed a finger at you, now pouting while looking up into your eyes. 

“Well this looks like fun, we’ll leave you two to it then.” Lia spoke for the group as they all began standing from their places, yourself and Steph rising from the couch too so you could say goodbye at the door. 

“Bye!” You both waved at the last people before you closed the door, Stephs arms securely wrapped around your waist, head against your chest. 

“Let’s get you to bed, cinderella.” You laughed, picking her up by her thighs and carrying her like a koala to your bedroom. 

“Thank you, my princess charming.” Steph mumbled into your neck, placing a soft kiss there while you let out a small laugh. Maybe this was like something out of a rom com.

THE END

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part three]

Words; 2.1k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; none (i don't think)

A/N; part three everyone. longest one so far, if they're too long please lmk and i can make them shorter if needed. hope you enjoy this one, favourite part so far.

masterlist

The day had finally arrived and Astrid didn’t even know that today could be the day she was waiting for. It was game day, 8th of April 2022, a friendly between Australia and New Zealand at the Queensland Country Bank Stadium in Townsville. 

The starting 11 walked out onto that pitch and the rest took their seats on the bench, anxious to see how the game would pan out today. It was in the 32nd minute that New Zealand scored their goal, officially taking the lead. After the halftime break and some substitutions the game began again, the Matildas managing to keep strong possession on the ball down their side. 

It was nearing the end of full time and New Zealand were still in the lead 1-0 and the girls were struggling to just get that ball in the net, the opposing defence strong as ever. Astrid was sitting on the bench, nervously watching the game ahead of her when Tony approached her. 

“Taylor.” Tony called out to her, Astrid instantly looking up at her coach. “Start warming up again, you’re subbing for Fowler.” Tony smiled watching the young player’s face light up and give him a firm nod. Charli gave her a shoulder shake and let out a small squeal as Astrid got up, moving over to the sidelines to warm up again. It was finally happening, she was finally making her debut for Australia. 

“Ready kid?” Tony caught Astrid’s attention as she ran back over to where the assistant ref was signalling for a substitution. And before she knew it, Mary was running over, engaging Astrid in a small hug before she ran on the pitch. The crowd cheered as the youngster came on with 13 minutes till full time, taking her position on the right side of the field. 

Only 3 minutes later Steph Catley is set to take a free kick. The players are all lined up, ready for the ball to fly towards them. Steph nods to the ref and uses her trusty left foot to shoot it towards the wall of players, angles the ball slightly further from Astrid who’s already running, Kerr goes for a header goal but it falls short. 

Astrid feels as if she's suddenly going in slow motion. She sees the ball leave Sam's head and she runs faster, lifting up her right leg to catch it and knock it towards the goal. And as if the universe was on her side, the goalie had run slightly away from Astrid's position of the goal, giving her the perfect opportunity to sink it into the top left corner of the net. 

As they see it ripple the crowd roars with cheers, every player on the bench rising to their feet in celebration, Tony making a run for the edge of the technical area in celebration. Astrid stood still with her mouth agape, shocked as to what had just happened. It wasn’t till Foord came running to her, gripping her body in celebration that she could breathe again, turning to face Caitlin as a wide smile grew on both of their faces. The rest of the team on the field came charging down on the pitch to jump all over the young player, screaming and yelling their excitement. 

GOOOAAALLL! And it’s a magnificent one to equalise the Matildas with New Zealand by none other than number 3, Astrid Taylor in the 80th minute! This is her first ever Matilda's goal and what a shot it was by the 17 year old, with only being on the pitch for less than 5 minutes AND in her international debut! It’s unbelievable. 

At that moment Astrid almost started crying. 17 years old, finally playing her first game for her country and a game changing goal 10 minutes from full time in front of a massive crowd. Her teammates were beyond proud of her, not only for her first goal but for bringing them to an equaliser after a long and tough game. 

Full time ended and still at a tie, the team patiently waited to see how many extra minutes were given to hopefully score once more and take the win. An additional 5 minutes is shown after Cortnee subs Hayley, Astrid giving her a high five and focus is pulled back to the game. Astrid bounces on her feet, body now pumping with adrenaline to take this home. 

And with the magic right boot of Emily Van Egmond the Matildas gained a goal in the 93rd minute, bringing them in front of New Zealand. The stadium erupts once more after the ball ripples the net, Emily running straight for Polkinghorne as the rest of the team follows suit, celebrating with her before returning to their places, focusing on the last 30 seconds of time. 

Australia wins a corner and Steph runs to take it, officially over stoppage time when she shoots it over to the goal, it bounces backwards off Alanna’s head and by miracle Sam Kerr knocks it over the players and past the white line. 

Sam runs straight to Steph with her arms outstretched, catching her up high as they meet, everyone else following behind with outcries of excitement, jumping on top of each other in celebration. The time is still running and the players are instructed to return to their positions. The ball is played and all though it gets shot down to Lydia in the Aus goal, no one runs to defend, the final whistle blowing before there's even a chance it could go in. 

They’ve done it, they've won. 3-1 over New Zealand and Astrid could not be more ecstatic to have been a help in that. The Townsville crowd erupt in cheers in favour of the Matildas and they all release massive smiles before they go off and shake hands with their own players and those on the New Zealand team. The players on the sideline slowly make their way onto the field, Charli running directly to Astrid, engulfing her close friend in a tight embrace, spinning her around on the field. 

“YOUR DEBUT AND A GOAL?! I’M SO PROUD.” Charli yelled over the loud stadium music. Giving a final squeeze they let go and Charli rests an arm over Astrid's shoulder, pulling her into her side, incredibly proud of her friend as they walk the pitch to meet their teammates. So far this was the best day of Astrid’s life and one she would remember for the rest of her life. Tony reached the pair on the pitch and held Astrid’s hands. 

“Congratulations, I’m very proud, Astrid.” Tony nodded his head at the young player as she looked at him.

“Thank you Tony.” Was all Astrid could get out without her voice cracking, trying to not cry tears of happiness. Kyra and Cortnee ran to hug her first, squeezing her tight with pride. As they began to do their lap of the pitch, the rest of the team embraced Astrid, congratulating her, saying how proud they were, and grateful she brought them to that equaliser. 

Eventually a presenter called out to Astrid and she ran over to them, fixing her hair as best as she could and removing some sweat from her face. 

“Astrid, do you mind doing a small post-match interview?” The lady from Channel 10 asked. 

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Astrid nodded and straightened out her shirt. 

“Great.” The presenter waited for the go ahead before talking again. “We’ve got  Astrid Taylor here, only 17 years old and scoring her first Matildas goal in her first appearance, and an impressive one at that. Astrid, congratulations and how do you feel?” She pointed the mic to Astrid. 

“Oh thank you. Ah yeah. I don’t even really believe it myself. I mean I wasn’t really expecting to be going on at any stage and making my debut tonight, but Tony told me to get ready and then it happened.” Astrid laughed as she talked. 

“I mean it was quite impressive. Only being on for 3 minutes before you were able to sneak it in. What was happening in that moment for you?” The reporter asked and Astrid swallowed. 

“Yeah it was crazy. It was Steph’s kick and I saw it go to Sam and I just began running in that direction, and as it bounced off her head, I caught it and just shot it in the direction of the goal and hoped for the best. I guess it was my luck that Esson was more focused on Sam than me!” Astrid made everyone around her laugh, heart still beating fast with adrenaline and nerves from being on camera. “I’m also just really happy we got the win, Emily and Sam helping us turn the game around so late.” 

“Absolutely incredible. And so is your score sheet with your club Sydney FC. I mean you only joined back in November and you have scored at least 16 goals with them.” 

“Oh thank you. Yeah that club is incredible and I’m so glad I’ve got Viney there with me to get those with.” Astrid smiled brightly. 

“Well again congratulations and thank you. Enjoy the celebrations!” She reached out to shake Astrids hand as she muttered a small ‘thank you’ before walking back to the last lingering teammates that gathered near the tunnel, watching her proudly. 

The bus ride back to the hotel was as expected, loud and full of excitement, obviously preparing to scream their winning chant. 

“BUILDING UP SUSPENSE, BUILDING UP SUSPENSE, BUILDING UP SUSPENSE, BUILDING UP SUSPENSE, BUILDING UP SUSPENSE. WOOOOOOO.” The team began to chat, banging on seats and windows as Lydia stood up to lead them. 

“IT’S A GRAND OLD TEAM TO PLAY FOR, AND IT’S A GRAND OLD TEAM TO SEE, AND IF YOU KNOW THE HISTORY, IT’S GONNA MAKE YOUR HEART GO WOAH. WE DON’T CARE WHAT THE OTHER TEAMS SAY, WHAT THE HELL DO WE CARE.” The noise from the bus was getting louder and louder as all players and staff members joined in. “FOR WE ONLY KNOW THERE’S GOING TO BE A SHOW AND THE AUSSIES WILL BE THERE.” 

“WAS IT ONE?” Lydia yelled, awaiting the response. 

“NO.”

WAS IT TWO?”

“NO”

“WAS IT THREE?” 

“YES.” Claps and cheers ran through the bus. 

“HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, WOOOOOO.” Everyone cheered in celebration, clapping loudly, Kyra rubbing Astrid’s hair from her seat next to the other girl. A large smile erupted on the young girls’ face, still in disbelief of what just happened. 

After dinner the room quieted down, everyone paying attention to their captain at the front of the room. 

“Um, obviously a very special game today, glad we got the win today and an incredible performance. Astrid,” Sam directed her eyes to the young girl sat next to Charli and Kyra. “You have worked so hard these past few months and I think I speak on the behalf of all of us when I say we’re so proud. You’ve really proven yourself and today a miracle really happened. Not only your first cap but your first goal in 3 minutes of being on the pitch! I mean I think that might be the most impressive debut in Matildas history.” The room erupted in cheers and claps, Astrid shook her head and covered her face with her hands. 

“Yeah Stargirl!” A shout comes loudly from Charli and the room falls to laughter. 

“So congrats and we’re so happy to have you as part of this team and family.” Sam finished, Charli and Kyra pushing Astrid to get up and walk to the front of the dining room. The girls clapped and cheered for her, a smile on her face as she approached Sam. 

“Thank you.” Astrid mumbled as they hugged, Sam patting her back with a final squeeze, letting go to hand her the official Matildas cap. Astrid looked at it for a second before turning around to face the team, her team. “Um, thank you everyone for making this day so special. A little bit lost for words right now,” She let out a small laugh. “Obviously I can’t take all the credit for the goal, Steph and Sam were the ones who even made it possible, I was just there to help you out. Getting to make my debut today with this group of girls just makes it so special and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the inspiration of every one of you. Thank you for all the support and I love you all. Thanks.” The room clapped again, Astrid moving over to the side for a photo with her cap. 

Sam then made her speech for Caitlin who played her 100th cap, reminiscing on their journey together before presenting her with her shirt, while also giving a cheer to Katrina who had returned to her first game tonight after having Harper. The night ended with team celebrations before heading to bed to recover from a big game. 

to be continued...

A/N; also i know this may seem a bit unrealistic but we're in a fake world with a fake character who's just really good at football so idc. xx

me after seeing cait come on and i’m wearing my new foord jersey 🥹🥹

(almost screamed down the house at 2:30 in the morning)

safe to say i’m terrified for what’s about to come

i love being an arsenal supporter ❤️🤍

how does she expect me to go on with life when she does this ??

(i’m growling)

Time Bomb | Criminal minds x fem!reader

Summary; Y/N’s mind is overworked and tired from case after case after case and the team begins to notice, prodding her until it gets too much. 

Parings; BAU team x BAU!reader, no romantic relationships mentioned. (she/her pronouns) 

Warnings; angst, mentions of chronic headaches/migraines, swearing, physical and emotional pain

Words; 1.7k

No one is permitted to steal, copy, or reblog my work as their own!!

Gif is not mine. @book-place​ 

It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to have a migraine, let alone a simple headache. She was diagnosed with atypical migraines when she was 15 and has been dealing with them since. But joining the  BAU 6 months ago really seemed to ramp things up for her. Since the day she left for that first case, the severity of her headaches increased, impacting her working abilities.  

She knew it wasn’t going to be an easy job, the commitments alone were tough but what was worse was trying to leave every painful detail of a case behind and move onto the next one, especially so quickly. She felt like she was doing work 24/7, whether she was on a plane flying across the country, stuck at her desk filing reports or thinking about cases when she got home. Everyone else on the team had been there for much longer than her so they had it down packed. But Y/N was still struggling, not that she would let anyone else figure that out. 

She became quite good at compartmentalising, hiding her emotions from her colleagues, family and friends. But all of this stress, tension and hurt came through in her migraines. Having suffered in pain for almost 10 years already, she was good at moving through the pain, pushing it aside, but lately it began bothering her more than ever, and the team began to notice. 

Derek was the first to pick up on her change in mood when she didn’t acknowledge his daily “Good Morning Firecracker”. Instead of her normal response, she flipped him the bird and kept walking to her desk in silence. He was quite insulted at her actions but took it as a bad morning. The other surrounding team members took note of this unusual behaviour from Y/N, all beginning to watch her closely. 

Reid noticed her mental distance during a case when it repeatedly took her 8 seconds longer than usual to answer a question or hear her name being called.

It was then Emily who tried to comfort her, but was brushed aside and ignored by Y/N. It happened yesterday, the team were in the office, working on files from the previous case and Emily noticed the younger team member had been silent all day. She watched with concern from her desk as Y/N held her head in her hands, rubbed her temples and took painkillers every few hours. As the day ended Emily approached Y/N, tapping her on the shoulder lightly to get her to raise her head off the desk. 

“What?” Y/N turned to Emily with tired eyes and an exhausted expression. 

“Sorry, I just wanted to check that you were okay? You’ve been quiet all day.” Emily removed her hand from Y/N’s shoulder. 

“I’m fine, Prentiss.” Y/N used Emily’s last name for the first time in months and it shocked everyone in the room. Y/N gathered her stuff and quickly left towards the elevators, brushing Emily’s shoulder on the way out. The whole team, including Rossi and Hotch who’d left their offices, stood in shock at the agent's actions. Something was definitely wrong. 

                                                    ~~~~~~

This morning Y/N slept in for the first time in weeks, and not on purpose. She had slept through three alarms and would officially be late for work, but it didn’t bother her. The pain pounding through her head was insufferable. It felt as if her skull was squishing her brain, waiting for it to explode. So she took her time getting ready, pausing every few minutes to sit and attempt to not pass out or throw up. Could she have just opted to take the day off? Yes. But she was too stubborn for that. 

She eventually made it to work, slowly making her way through the glass doors, now almost an hour late according to her watch. But when she finally looked up from the floor, no one was at their desks, or in the kitchen, or milling around the bullpen. It was silent. As much as she admired the peace and quiet, it was bugging her, where the hell was everyone else. Curiously she made her way up the stairs, peeking into Hotch and Rossi’s empty offices, then towards the conference room that suspiciously had the door closed and shades drawn.

She opened the door slowly, expecting to also find no one, but was wrong. The whole team was sitting at and standing around the table, previously talking lowly amongst themselves. 

“What the hell is going on? Why are you all in the fucking dark in silence? It’s weird.” Y/N’s voice caught the attention of her friends and boss, everyone staring at her with shock or concern plastered on their faces. 

“Come sit down Y/N.” Hotch finally spoke up, his hands crossed at his chest nodding his head to the empty chair in the centre of the table. 

“Fine.” Y/N snickered, moving slowly towards the chair. “What is this? An intervention?” Y/N laughed as she sat down in the chair, sliding down into a comfortable position. The room stayed silent. “Will someone please fucking say something!” She waved her hands in the air and looked to Emily, then Spencer then Derek. 

“Y/N.” Derek sighed, moving away from the window where he was previously leaning, catching the attention of Y/N. “We’ve all noticed some changes in your behaviour recently and we just wanted to see what was going on.” 

“Yeah.” Emily’s voice perked up from beside Y/N, moving to place her hand on top of the other agent’s. “We’re all worried for you, you haven’t been yourself. You get mad at the smallest of things, you’re constantly tired and falling asleep everywhere. Is there something you need to tell us? Are you-” Emily couldn’t even finish her sentence. 

Y/N shook her head in disbelief, they probably think I’m an alcoholic or drug user. Unbelievable. “Wow!” She laughed out, snatching her hand away from Emily’s. “Okay, so how about you guys take a guess at what’s wrong with me and I’ll tell you if you’re right.” Everyone’s jaw dropped at her outburst, not wanting to say anything to make it worse. “Hm. Go ahead. Or are you too scared?” Y/N stood up from her chair. 

“That’s enough Y/L/N.” Hotch sternly expressed to the agent, urging her to calm down. 

“No, Hotch. I’ve had enough! This is bullshit.” Y/N began walking towards the door behind her, only to be stopped by Derek. “Move.” She argued but he didn’t budge. “Stop it Derek, let me leave.” 

“No.” He uncrossed his arms, now softly holding her forearms. 

“Derek,” She was really frustrated now, tears began welling up in her eyes. “I swear to god.” She shook her head at him, her voice was breaking. The physical and emotional pain was getting too much. The pounding in her head  was so loud she thought her ear drums were going to burst. Derek saw her pain, swiftly moving to pull her into a tight hug, one that she didn’t reciprocate but also didn’t try to remove herself from. She broke down, for the first time in months she’d finally let go. She stood there, crying into Derek’s chest as he held her tight, protecting her, the room was quiet besides the sound of Y/N crying. 

This was the first time any of them had seen her cry in the 6 months of knowing her, not even after hard cases. They looked at each other, hearts breaking for their colleague and friend. After a moment she began to move and Derek’s grip on her loosened. She wiped her bare face and held her head down as she went to sit back down. “Talk to us honey.” JJ was now in the seat beside her, stroking her back lightly. 

She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “I have chronic migraines. I have since I was 15. And since working here, they’ve been worse than ever. Especially today.” She stopped, I sound so stupid, she thought to herself. Emily squeezed her shoulder encouraging her to keep going. Y/N sniffled, “I guess the heaviness of the cases, the workload, the stress has been getting to me a lot more recently. And don’t get me wrong, I love this job and you guys,” She lifted her head to look at her friends who were now all sitting or standing in front of her. “But sometimes it’s just too much and the emotional pain turns into physical which then turns into anger and a bad mood.” She looked back down at her hands, picking at her nails. 

“Well why didn’t you tell any of us you were struggling?” Rossi spoke kindly from across the table, meeting eyes with Y/N. 

Y/N’s mouth twists before speaking, trying to stop the tears. “I didn’t want to burden you. You guys have your own lives. And I’ve been dealing with it by myself for so long I thought I had it under control.” Her voice cracks at the end causing everyone’s hearts to shatter. How did they not see this earlier? They all thought to themselves. 

“Y/N, look at me.” Derek was now behind her, she looked up behind her shoulder. “You are not a burden. You are an incredible and important asset to this team and this family. That’s what we are.” He smiled down at her. 

“And that means that we’re always here for each other, good or bad.” Penelope’s sweet voice spoke next from further down the table. “Okay?” She asks when Y/N looks like she doesn’t believe her. 

She stayed silent for a while, thinking about their words. Slowly she began nodding her head, careful not to increase the pain. “Okay.” She smiled at her team. 

“How about you go sleep off the pain in my office for a bit?” Rossi offered, she almost rejected because she didn’t want to let them down but Rossi continued before she could open her mouth. “Just until we get a case, okay?” He hoped that would do the trick, and it did.

“Thank you.” She sniffled. “And I’m sorry for how rude I’ve been, it wasn’t intentional I promise.” She looked specifically at Emily and Derek who had received the brutal end of her outbursts. 

So now the team was fixed once again, now knowing how to help Y/N on her good and bad days.

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A life for a life |Derek Morgan x platonic!reader

Summary; while chasing down an unsub, reader has to make a haste decision on whether to take the kill shot, making it their first. 

Pairings; derek morgan x platonic!reader, bau team x platonic!reader (gender neutral, no direct pronouns used)

Warnings; guns used, blood, typical cm plot things, fluff, angst and sadness wrapped into one.

Words; 1.2k

Not my gif; @just-my-fandom​

Once the team had figured out who the unsub was, they split up between his home and work addresses, racing against the clock towards each. Morgan, Spencer and yourself were currently heading to his house with Garcia on the phone still spitting out random facts about him.

 The SUV pulled up outside the small house, the three of you jumping out straight away. 

“Reid, you take the back entrance.” Morgan instructed, Spencer running around the side of the house instantly. “You take the kitchen entrance and I’ll take the front.” You nodded at him, giving him a fist bump before taking off, it was your way of saying “be safe” without words. 

You stayed quiet and low as you travelled around the west side, looking through the windows for any sign of the unsub. 

“I got him. He’s in the living room with Carrie.” You whispered into your radio, spotting him and the missing girl through the side window. You continue until you get to the door. Derek’s loud voice can be heard throughout the whole house. 

“Samuel Rogers! Drop the weapon and let Carrie go!” 

You twist the handle of the door slowly, attempting not to make any noise as you open it easily, stepping inside the house quietly. You had your gun raised, checking each corner before you found yourself at the edge of the kitchen and the living room. Derek was directly in front of the unsub, gun trained at him as best as he could with the unsub moving back and forth, arms tight around Carrie’s neck. Spencer was only 2 feet away from you, standing between the dining and living room, doing the same as you, standing silently behind them in case things went south. 

Derek was talking to him, trying to calm him down and encouraging him to let her go but he wasn't budging. “Give it up man, let her go. Your plan didn’t work.” Morgan kept saying to him. Your gun was pointed directly at him from behind, Samuel being unaware of the two agents currently behind him. 

“SHUT UP!” Samuel yelled, squeezing Carrie tighter in his arms, pointing his gun directly at Derek’s chest. 

Adrenaline was pumping through your veins, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stood closer to an unsub than you ever have before. Your finger was pressing on the trigger and within seconds a shot was fired, your arm jolting back as your own gun fired. Your eyes were squinted shut, not seeing directly where it was fired. 

You opened your eyes seconds later, spotting Spencer moving closer to Samuel’s body checking for a pulse, Derek reaching forward to move Carrie out of the way. Your eyes then travelled to the lifeless body on the ground, spotting the bloody hole in his forehead. Your breath left your chest, arms still raised with your gun in your hands.

This isn’t the first time you’ve shot someone while being in the FBI, normally opting for the shoulder or the thigh, pretty much just knocking them down. But this was your first kill. The first time your shot has killed someone else. You were frozen in your spot, watching the scene unfold before you as the rest of your team showed up, moving Carrie out to an ambulance and covering Samuel’s body with a white sheet.

A soft hand on your shoulder finally broke you from your trance, you blinked and the air finally returned to your lungs. 

“Y/N.” Derek called out softly from beside your ear. He reached out and placed his hand on your extended arms, lowering them and removing your gun from shaking hands. “It’s okay.” He whispered and your head dropped, playing back the same moment over and over again. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and walked you out of your head, guiding you to stand next to one of the SUV’s. 

You were in a state of shock, staring down at the pavement while people walked past you, sirens rang and lights flashed in the street, neighbours coming out of their houses to look at the spectacle happening in their street. 

“Hey.” Derek appeared in front of you again. “You okay?” His voice was soft and calming. You kept your head down. 

“I- I’ve never killed anyone before. I didn’t want it to end like that.” You shook your head, eventually meeting his soft eyes with your sad ones. 

“I know. I know, kid.” He consoled you. “I also know that you saved my life.” He held your shoulder again, pulling you closer to him. 

“Well yeah but-” You looked down again, sighing deeply. 

“No buts. Look at me.” He instructed but you didn’t. He used his hand to grab your cheek softly, pulling you up to meet his eyes again. “You did what you had to. Okay?” He was telling the truth but there was part of you that knew it could’ve ended differently and he sensed this. “Okay?” He asked again. 

“Okay.” You sighed, nodding your head. 

“Come here.” He pulled you into a soft hug, holding your head against his chest as you wrapped your arms up under his shoulders. You didn’t care if people or your team saw you hugging in the field, they knew how close you guys were. He was like your big brother and your best friend rolled into one. He was close to Spencer in a similar way, everyone including yourself knew that. But he was the first to take you under his wing when you joined the team not that long ago, finding comfort in you and your presence; you felt the exact same. 

“Thank you Morgan.” You pulled back from the hug, smiling softly up at him. 

“Anytime Y/L/N.” He ruffled your hair like he always did. “Let’s go get a drink.” He laughed slightly, brightening the mood. You nodded, never passing up the chance to hang out with your team in a fun setting. 

You had all made your way back to the hotel you were staying at, taking some time to get yourselves ready before heading down to the hotel bar. You were the last to arrive, taking a little extra time in the shower to wash the day off. As you walked down the stairs into the bar, the whole team turned to look at you, cheering lightly as they said hello. Your face changed quickly from happy to confused. You walked closer to them, standing next to Derek. 

“What’s going on?” You looked at him, whispering through a smile. His own smile grew larger as he handed you your favourite drink. 

“To Y/N,” Everyone raised their glasses. “For saving my life today.” He continued and wrapped his empty arm around your shoulder. Everyone clinked their glasses together, making sure to smile and make eye contact with you. “Thank you, I’m proud of you.” Derek whispered in your ear, placing a kiss on your temple as the rest of your team talked amongst themselves again. 

The rest of the night was spent talking,laughing and drinking with your newfound family. It was a tough case, especially for you and tonight was exactly what you needed.  

Love you to the moon and saturn | Emily Prentiss x gn!reader

Summary; Emily Prentiss and Y/N have been dating for a long time and Y/N decides it’s finally time to tie the knot. 

Parings; Emily Prentiss x gn!reader

Warnings; none, pure fluff with kissing

Words; 1.6k

No one is permitted to steal, copy, or reblog my work as their own!!

Not my gif. @pagetbrewsterfansite​ 

It was no secret that Emily and Y/N were deeply in love with each other. When they started dating 3 years ago they were able to keep it a secret for a good few months. That was until Garcia caught them sneaking off together during a team get together at Rossi’s, outing them to the whole team. No one had a problem with it, if anything they were obsessed with their relationship and the love they had for each other. The two agents were obsessed with each other, with one another more than not. 

Y/N knew they would like Emily as soon as she walked into the BAU on her first day, capturing the attention of Y/N almost instantly. That was 5 years ago, and it took them 2 years of working together and becoming best friends to realise that they actually liked each other and it wasn’t one sided pining. From then it’s been smooth sailing, rarely having fights and saying I love you within a few months. 

Y/N has been planning this for a few months, even going to a specialty jeweller, creating the perfect ring for Emily. They’ve been carrying the ring in their pocket for at least 2 weeks now, waiting for the perfect moment to drop to one knee and ask the question. There have been many occasions when they’ve been ready to do it; at a fancy dinner date night, at Rossi’s with the whole team around, during a work trip to the mountains. But something has always interrupted them, stopping the romantic moment before they could ask Emily to be their partner for ever and ever. 

And that leads us to today. The team had just gotten back from a case in Texas, a particularly tough one at that. The team had been investigating a number of mysterious explosions throughout a small town and when Emily almost ran into a building that was seconds away from exploding, Y/N knew. They knew that with this job, their lives could be taken away from them and Y/N didn’t want to go another day without having Emily as their wife. Today was the day. 

Everyone exited the elevators, ready to see Penelope’s smiling face greeting them like always but when those doors opened, the hallway was empty. Everyone’s face fell to confusion while Y/N’s gained a smirk. The plan was in motion. Before they got onto the plane, Y/N called Penelope back at Quantico, telling her that they were finally going to propose to Emily and they needed her help. Penelope was over the moon excited, she’d been waiting for this to happen ever since Y/N told her about the ring. 

“That’s weird.” Derek commented finally, stepping out of the elevator, everyone else following behind. He wandered down the hall to her lair, opening the door. “Baby girl?” She was nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe she’s inside.” Emily walked towards the glass doors, pushing the open simultaneously, ready to spot the analyst wandering around or in the kitchenette. Once again it was empty. 

Y/N hid their excitement, wandering over to their desk and placing their bags down. “I’m going to check up there.” They announced, nodding their head towards the stairs that lead up to the round table room where the shutters were oddly closed. Whilst walking, they reached into their jacket pocket to make sure the ring was still in there, it was. When they opened the door they were met with a very excited Penelope, she was grinning ear to ear. Y/N smiled back before she pulled them into a hug. 

“Oh my god, I’m so excited! I’ve been waiting up here for so long, you guys seem to take forever.” Penelope stepped away from the hug. Y/N looked around the room, spotting flowers scattered and small candles lit. 

“Pen, this is amazing! Thank you so much.” They thanked Penelope, the room looked amazing. “Now I just have to get her up here. And hope from there on everything goes smoothly.” They were getting stressed out, thinking about what they were about to do. 

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. I’ve never seen two people more in love, she’s going to say yes.” Penelope grabbed their hands, bringing them back down. “Is it time to go get her?” Penelope asked, releasing their hands as they nodded. “Okay, good luck my love.” She kissed them on the cheek and walked out the door that led to the catwalk, closing it softly behind her. Y/N breathed deeply, thinking of the words they had prepared on the plane. 

“Emily Prentiss,” Penelope finally appeared to the rest of the team that were milling around the bullpen. “Your presence is requested at the round table.” Penelope tried to contain her happiness, walking slowly to the steps and hiding her smile. 

“Uh, okay.” Emily shook her head, walking up the stairs and passing the mysterious analyst. Her brows were furrowed as she walked to the door. 

“What are you up to, baby girl?” Derek asked, wrapping an arm over Penelope’s shoulder. 

“Something magical.” She smiled, looking up at the windows of the room that was still closed off to everyone else. 

Emily finally approached the door, opening it slowly. A small gasp left her lips as the romantic setting was revealed. She let go of the door handle, walking further into the room. “Y/N?” She spotted them in the corner of the room, pacing nervously. 

“Hi.” Y/N breathed, walking to meet Emily in the middle of the room. 

“Hi.” Emily smiled at her lover, curiosity running through her veins. “Baby, what’s going on?” She chuckled nervously, interlocking her hands with theirs. 

“Emily,” They paused, making sure to capture her attention, meeting their eyes with hers. “The day I met you, I knew we were meant to meet. You came into my life at a time where I really needed someone, to listen, to talk and to understand me. And you did that and so much more. You became my best friend but I always wanted more than that. And I’m mad it took us so long to realise that we both liked each other, because then we could’ve spent so much more time in each other’s arms, spilling the secrets of our hearts instead of stealing glances across the room.” They paused, watching Emily laugh. 

“You, are my favourite person in the whole world, the love of my life, and I never want to spend another day without you in my arms. I’ve known that for a while, but today really made me realise that with this job our lives could be cut short at any moment.” They took a second, blinking away the tears in their eyes, taking a deep breath. “So, with that said,” They let go of Emily’s hand, reaching into their pocket. Emily’s eyes filled with tears, shock running over her face. Then they got down on one knee, looking up at Emily with a box in their hand.

 “Emily Prentiss,” They opened the ring box, revealing a silver ring with a sparkling sapphire diamond. “Will you do the absolute pleasure of marrying me?” They smiled up at Emily, her hands now covering her mouth with a big gasp. 

“Oh my god. YES! Yes, yes, yes!” She reached down and pulled Y/N up by their shoulders, grabbing their face and pulling them in for a passionate kiss. They split apart, smiling at each other, laughing. Emily pulled Y/N in for a hug, holding them tightly. Y/N took the opportunity to grab Emily’s waist, lifting her legs off the ground and spinning her around. 

“Y/N, I love you so much.” Emily jumped down to look into her fiance’s eyes. Y/N kept smiling, pulling the ring out of the box and placing it onto Emily’s finger. “It’s beautiful.” She examined the ring. 

“I got it made specifically for you.” Y/N smiled at Emily, wiping the tears of joy that had fallen onto their cheek. “I love you.” Emily leant in for another small kiss, unable to wipe the smile off of her face. 

“Do they know?” She nodded her head to the blocked window, gesturing to the team who were patiently waiting downstairs. They shook their head.

“Only Pen, she set all of it up.” They pointed to the flowers and candles scattered. 

“Should we go tell them then?” Emily asked, grabbing a hold of Y/N’s hand. They nodded enthusiastically, kissing her again before they walked to the door hand in hand. They were silent as they appeared on the catwalk, waiting for the team's reactions. 

The bullpen was silent, tension and anticipation circling the air. When no one said anything, Emily finally shot their hands up in the air, her engagement ring shining in the light. 

“We’re getting married!” She shouted into the space. The team was cheering and clapping, filling the room with happiness as the couple made their way down the stairs. Emily and Y/N were laughing at the reaction. Rossi was the first to greet the couple, kissing both of them on the cheeks. 

“Congratulations!” He smiled at the pair. Hugs and laughter were shared with the team, everyone stopping to admire the ring Y/N designed, complementing them. The last person to congratulate them was Hotch. 

“I’m very happy for you two.” He smiled at Y/N before bringing them in for a hug. And that’s how the night continued, laughs shared among friends as the happy couple reminisced on their relationship. It was a happy day for everyone. 

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. | Emily Prentiss x GN!reader

Prequel to ‘Welcome Home Kiss’.

Summary; Emily’s past life has finally been revealed and it’s time to get her back. But when they don’t have her anymore Y/N finds it difficult. 

Pairing; Emily Prentiss x GN!reader, platonic!BAU team x GN!reader

Warnings; descriptions of blood/gore, heartbreak, mentions of ED, smoking, swearing (so much angst omg)

Words; 2.5k

No one is permitted to steal, copy or reblog my work as their own!!

Gif is not mine, @imagining-in-the-margins. (couldn’t find one from Emily’s funeral)

Between discovering Emily’s past life as Lauren Reynolds and finding the location of the warehouse Ian was now holding Emily, a whirlwind of emotions flowed through Y/N. Sadness, anger, disappointment and most of all worry. They were so scared for their lover; Was she okay? Was she hurt? Was she strong enough to fight back? These were all questions that flowed through their mind as they drove to the warehouse. 

After a lot of debating, Y/N had joined Derek alongside SWAT officers on their search of the building. They had already taken care of the guards out the front and now they were weaving their way through the building silently. 

*crash* 

Y/N’s ears pricked up at the loud noise coming from the building, it was close. Without hesitation Y/N took off running ahead of Derek, all logic leaving their mind as they ran to the source of the noise. 

“Y/N.” Emily managed to whisper out through the pain when she spotted them. 

“No.” A soft gasp came from Y/N’s lips as she spotted Emily lying on the ground with a wooden stake poking out of her. They ran to her, cradling her head in their hands. “Emily?” They whispered, tears pricking at their eyes. Seconds later Derek came running in, jumping down to Emily’s side. 

“I got her! I got her in the basement on the south side. I need a medic.” He spoke into his comms, the noise carrying through to everyone on the outside. “Prentiss.” He called out grabbing her hands, soft sobs coming from Y/N next to him. “Hey, it’s me. I’m right here. You’re gonna be alright.” Emily’s eyes flutter open and closed, she’s fading fast. Y/N couldn’t do anything but hold their lover’s head, watching her.

“Stay with me, baby. Come on, stay with me.” Derek panicked watching her. 

“Let me go.” Emily breathed out feeling the blood drain from her. 

“No, no. I am not letting you go.” Derek protested. “Help us!” He shouted into the large space, hoping someone would hear him. Looking back at her his heart shattered. “Listen to me. I know why you did all of this. I know what you did for Declan.” Derek tried to get Emily’s attention back but it wasn't working. “I’m so proud of you.” He spoke with grit. “You understand that? I am proud of you because you are my friend, and you are my partner.” His voice gets shaky. They both notice her eyes closing again. “No, Emily!”

“Baby, come on, stay with us.” Y/N’s voice cracked. “Don’t leave me like this.” Y/N stroked Emily’s hair like they always do. “We have our future planned out, you and me against the world, right?.” Tears dripped down their face as they shook their head. 

“If you can hear us, please just squeeze my hand.” Derek gripped onto Emily’s hand, suddenly feeling a gentle squeeze from her. “Yes, there you go. There you go, baby. Just keep squeezing.” He held her hands tightly and within seconds the medics showed up. Derek pulled himself and Y/N away from Emily, holding them tightly in his arms. 

They watched as the medics put her on a stretcher, carrying her out of the warehouse. They followed closely behind, walking in what felt like slow motion. Derek had to guide Y/N out, holding them in his grasp as they met the team outside. Y/N was in shock, every noise was muffled as they walked to the SUV, Derek slipping in beside them. All they could do was stare at whatever was in front of them, eventually getting out of the car and following the team when they reached the hospital. 

They sat in a chair in the corner for what felt like hours or days. Rossi, Hotch and Garcia tried to talk to them but they couldn’t respond, staring at the floor, legs bouncing uncontrollably.  

Eventually JJ walked over to the team, catching everyone’s attention, even Y/N’s, causing them to lift their head. The first thing they all noticed was her red eyes. 

“No.” Garcia was the first to speak, shaking her head as she began to sob. JJ swallowed. 

“She never made it off the table.” JJ finally spoke, breathing deeply. 

Y/N’s body froze, blocking out all the background noise and falling back into shock. 

The love of their life was dead. Gone. They didn’t move, they couldn’t. They were paralysed as their heart shattered into a million pieces. They looked down at their hands, still stained red with her blood. They stayed silent, still, ignoring her friends around her grieving. They didn’t know how long they sat there, staring at their hands but eventually a hand grabbed their shoulder. 

“Kiddo,” Rossi softly spoke. “Come on, you’re coming home with me.” He pulled them up from their seat by the shoulders, wrapping his arm around their shoulders. They didn’t speak, they couldn’t. Somehow they made their way to the car and eventually inside Rossi’s house. He brought them into the guest room without a word and helped them into bed. He pulled the covers up and stroked their hair. 

“Rossi,” They finally spoke, still staring at the wall in front of them. He was just about to leave the room but sat back down on the bed. “Tell me this is all just a bad dream.” Their voice cracked as they spoke, looking up at the man who treated them like his own. He hesitated, not knowing what to say. 

“It’ll be okay, I promise.” He leant down and pressed a kiss to their head, holding their hand. He stood up again and left the room, leaving the door open just in case. They didn’t fall asleep for a while, staring at the wall emotionless until exhaustion finally kicked in. This is where they stayed for the next few days, only taking water from Rossi when he forced them to drink. They didn’t eat, they barely slept, spending most of the time staring at the wall, or the ceiling, or the empty spot in the bed that they sometimes shared with Emily. 

Within days they held a funeral for Emily. And it was the hardest day of Y/N’s life. They got up and Rossi took them to their apartment so they could get dressed. It was a sunny day, Y/N felt this was wrong for a funeral. They didn’t speak to anyone, not when they carried her coffin with their teammates, not when Hotch asked them if they wanted to say a few words, and not even when Penelope approached them. It was hard enough being there, burying their best friend, their lover and who was supposed to be their life partner. Talking to anyone was an extra effort they couldn’t do. 

Only 6 days after her death, everyone was expected back at work. Y/N didn’t show up that first Monday. After the funeral no one heard from them, calls going to voicemail and texts staying on delivered. They had cut off all communication from their team, instead staying locked in their apartment, moving themselves from their bed, to the couch and back to the bed. They still weren’t eating, only drinking water to stay alive, not that they felt they had much to live for anymore. 

During that first week back the team had a case, heading to Portland quickly and leaving Penelope behind in her tech lab. Every day between 5 and 6 pm a quick knock would appear on their door, followed by the sweet voice of Penelope Garcia would flow through the wood, asking if they were alright but never receiving an answer. It wasn’t till Thursday night when she came by again that she became seriously concerned for Y/N’s health, spotting the full containers of food she had left them at the door 2 days prior. 

“Y/N? Please answer the door. I just want to help you.” Penelope called through the door, face painted with concern. After minutes of silence she called Derek who had just gotten back from their case, telling him to get over here asap. He was there within 5 minutes.

“Y/L/N!” He yelled through the wood. “If you don’t open the door I’m going to kick it in.” He waited, hoping it would open and their face would appear but when it didn’t, he had no choice but to get it open himself. He kicked the door open with force, walking strongly into their apartment, searching the kitchen and living room for them. Penelope ran into their bedroom, gasping loudly when she finally spotted them. They were passed out in the bed, 2 times smaller than when she last saw them and barely breathing. Derek rushed in, checking their pulse to find that it was thready and weak. He picked them up bridal style, carrying them out of the apartment and down to his car, Penelope close behind. 

When they woke up again, all they heard was beeping and hushed voices close by. They opened their eyes to a dark room with brighter lights coming from a hallway outside. 

“Wha- where-” They sat up quickly, heart racing at the unfamiliar environment, turning to their right when they felt a soft hand touch their own. Penelope’s sweet face had a beaming smile plastered but glassy, red eyes showed that she was crying previously. 

“You’re in the hospital.” She calmed them down, looking over to the other corner where Derek was standing against the wall. “We found you in your apartment, you-” Her voice cut off, tears fell down her face. 

“You were barely breathing Y/N. The doctors said you hadn’t eaten anything in over a week.” Derek moved to the end of the bed, staring Y/N deep in the eyes. They felt terrible, creating more stress and worry for the team after the past 2 weeks. 

“I’m sorry.” Y/N dropped their head in shame. 

“It’s okay.” Penelope placed a soft finger under their chin, making them look up at her. “We’re here to help you, you know that right?” She spoke softly. They nodded their head in response, travelling their eyes over to Derek. 

It was another week of rest at home, along with supplements to help Y/N get nutrients back into their body before they were allowed back at work. When they did return they were made to have a conversation with Strauss, discussing their prolonged absence before they were dismissed and cleared for the field.

“Y/L/N.” Hotch’s voice carried through the bullpen. Y/N looked up from their desk and towards his office. He was standing in the doorway, motioning his head and indicating for them to come up. They sighed, dropping their pen and standing up. They knew what it was about, Emily. The rest of the team had already had their conversations with Hotch, discussing their feelings and Y/N was the last to go in. They were trying to avoid it ever since returning to work, hiding away from his view everytime he walked past, but it was inevitable. They walked up the stairs and into his office, closing the door and meeting him on the couch. 

“Y/N.” They didn’t look at him, keeping their lips sealed shut. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and genuine. Their focus remained trained on the floor, legs beginning to bounce from anxiety. They took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears and emotion. 

“I don’t want to do this.” They whispered, shaking their head. “I can’t.” They sighed. 

“Why not?” He sounded like a therapist, voice laced with concern for the agent. They bit their bottom lip, shaking their head again. More tears began to rise in their eyes. 

“Because-” Y/N turned their head to look at their boss. “Because if I do then it becomes real. I don’t want it to be real. I want her to walk through those doors like it was all some big joke.” They looked out at the glass doors. “But she won’t.” Their voice cracked, tears finally falling. “She’s gone, and I-I can’t do this without her Hotch.” They stood abruptly, pacing back and forth. “I’m not me. I’m not who I was. I-I’m broken.” They stopped, staring down at Hotch. 

“You’re not broken, Y/N.” He stood, meeting their eyes.

“Yes, I am. I haven’t cried, I-I can’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I can’t breathe.” Y/N looked at him. 

“You’re not broken, you’re grieving.” He spoke calmly. “You’re allowed to grieve, Y/N.” He explained. 

“I don’t want to.” They shook their head again, hands clutching at their chest. “I held her in my arms, she was breathing.” They were back in the warehouse, holding Emily in their lap as she began to fade.  “I loved her so much.” They look up at their boss, their friend, and their heart shatters again. 

“I know, I know you did.” He stepped closer to them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders, enveloping them in a hug for the first time ever. They sobbed into his chest, not caring about the unprofessional nature of it, he wasn’t the big bad boss right now. He was their friend and he was comforting a friend in a difficult time. 

The sobs slowed and their breathing evened out, Hotch letting go of them.

“Thank you.” Y/N looked up at him, smiling slightly. “Would it be okay if I left a bit early today? There’s somewhere I need to be.” Hotch nodded in response, understanding their situation. 

When they left the office, they headed to the cemetery for the first time since the funeral. The walk from the car to her grave was tough, taking one step at a time. When they reached her headstone they sat on the grass in front, staring at her name engraved in stone. 

“Hey baby.” They smiled. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit yet, it’s been hard.” They sighed. Then they reached into their coat pocket, digging around for what had become their current habit. They pulled out a lighter and pack of cigarettes, lighting one in their mouth. They took a deep breath and puffed out the smoke, blowing it into the cool wind. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about this.” They joked to her headstone. “Picked up a very old habit from high school, you’d probably hate it and throw it out if you could.” Their face dropped with their words. 

“I miss you.” They spoke again after a minute of silence. “Like a lot.” They took another hit of their cigarette. “It’s hard doing this without you. Life that is. I don’t even remember how I did it before I met you, but I guess I’m going to have to figure it out aren’t I?” They smiled painfully. They sat in silence at her grave for a while, waiting until their cigarette was nothing but a nub. This might have been the first time visiting her grave, but it wasn’t the last. 

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Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part twenty one]

Words; 2.1k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; none

masterlist

The lead up to the world cup is no easy feat, for anyone. Everything you did as players both at club and on national level in the months before mattered more than ever. And for Astrid the pressure was building up inside. 

She had made her mark in the team again at the last camp against Scotland and England, playing in the second match, assisting Charli’s first Matildas goal and slipping one of her own in. Not to mention her 19th birthday celebrated in England before she went back to Sweden and returned to Hammarby training with Kyra. 

They were in the start of the Damallsvenskan season and nearing the end of the Svenska Cupen, hoping to make it to the final and win the cup. Astrid and Kyra were both a major part of the squad, either playing full matches or close to and making an impact within the team. They continued to work well with one another, creating beautiful passes and more assist/goal partnerships than anyone else on the team. 

Their relationship outside of the game was continuing to grow with one another, but only behind closed doors. They knew what fans could be like with speculation and looking deeply into photos to find “clues” as to whether or not their close friendship had evolved anywhere further. So it was best if no one was in on their secret, not even Charli or Courtney who thankfully lived further away and didn’t interrupt their stolen moments at home. 

On the 6th of June, 2023, Hammarby had their final game in the Svenska Cup against BK Häcken for the title. Kyra had been named in the starting line up with plenty of other strong players she could create chances with, but when they got to halftime and no goals scored by either side, she was ready for Astrid to come on. 

Replacing Matilda Vinberg on the wing, Astrid came on with a fire to take out the cup and win her first trophy with Hammarby. Madelen Janogy helped them get ahead with 2 goals within 15 minutes of the second half. 

Astrid’s first goal came not long after that, a corner by Kyra’s right foot, the ball landing directly at her head as she stood close to the goal, knocking it in with precision to slip past the keeper's hands. She immediately ran over to Kyra who came in from the corner, jumping onto her and nearly pushing her down but Kyra stabilised themselves, before the rest of the team came and dogpiled them.

One more goal from Maika at 68 minutes and there was no chance they weren’t winning, the possession stayed with Hammarby and although the Häcken keeper was able to block a lot more the of the shots towards the end, Häcken wasn’t able to get any goals into the net either. The whistle blew and the team screamed in joy, running in together and celebrating their cup win. 

After the end of that cup, the Damallsvenskan was in full force and Hammarby were on a winning streak. The 4 games in the remainder of that month ended in victory for the club and happiness forAstrid for making one or more goal contributions to each of those games. 

The 3rd of July 2023 became a date Astrid would never forget. It was early morning right before they left for training when Astrid’s phone began buzzing, Tony’s contact appearing on her screen. Without hesitation she quickly accepted the facetime and held it up to see him. 

“Ah! Hello Astrid.” Tony waved through the screen. 

“Hi G-man, how are you?” Astrid waved back, a wide smile on her face but her stomach churned in anticipation.

“Very well, thank you.” Tony laughed at the nickname like every time she said it, Kyra was also shaking her head and holding a laugh from the otherside of the room. 

“Congratulations on the cup win, very deserved.”

“Thank you Tony, very happy with the result.” Astrid nodded her head and waited for him to speak further. 

“Astrid,” He began falling into a more serious tone. “My reasoning for the call is to talk about the next camp against France and also this year's World Cup.” Astrid stayed silent and nodded her head. “As a coaching staff we have never been more impressed with a person of your age and talent. You are strong, skilled, resilient and so much more. You are a large asset to the team both on and off the pitch.” Tony smiled kindly at her, watching her face light up at the compliments. 

“Thank you.” Astrid held back the tears brimming from her eyes and let him continue.

“Which is why it is my pleasure to invite you on our roster for the 2023 Women's World Cup if you would join us?” Both their smiles grew bigger and Kyra was jumping up and down in the living room for her girlfriend. 

“Yes, yes. Absolutely yes.” Astrid beamed even brighter, nodding her head up and down as Tony laughed and they wrapped up their conversation. As soon as the call ended Astrid dropped her phone and ran over to Kyra, jumping up and wrapping her legs around Kyra’s waist. “OH MY GOD!” Astrid yelled out as they spun in circles. Tears of happiness ran down her face as Kyra placed her down again. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Kyra wiped Astrid’s tears with her thumbs before leaning in and kissing her. But they were interrupted when Kyra’s phone started buzzing in her pocket. “It’s Tony.” Kyra looked from her phone back up to Astrid who was practically answering the facetime for her and pushing it up to Kyra’s face, stepping out of view. 

Astrid was half paying attention to the facetime as she stood opposite Kyra, instead thinking of her parents and how proud they would be. Wishing she could tell them but they already knew as they watched over her every single day of her life. Astrid zoned back in as Kyra finished her conversation and ran to her girlfriend with an even bigger smile.

“WE’RE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP BABY!” Kyra shouted as they jumped around in a circle holding hands before pulling in and kissing one another with pride. A morning Astrid will never forget. 

Only 5 days later Astrid and Kyra were jumping on a plane back home to Australia for their final World Cup prep match against France down in Melbourne. The flight was long but not awful, both of the girls managed to sleep a lot of the way, landing well rested and not irritable. 

They pulled up to the hotel and jumped out, grabbing their bags and moving into the lobby. Because of their club schedule the pair were once again last to arrive, after rooms had been assigned by their teammates. So it was a mystery which teammate they had been paired with until they opened their room doors and greeted their bunkmate for the next week.

Astrid and Kyra walked hand in hand while no one was around, soaking in the last minutes they could act like a couple for probably a few days. They waved bye to each other and reached their separate rooms. Astrid opened her door and pushed her way through, dragging her heavy bags in and peering around the corner. 

Sam was laying on one of the beds and looked up from her phone upon hearing the door open. “KIDDO!” She threw her phone down as Astrid appeared around the corner. 

“SAMMY!” Astrid yelled in reply as she dropped her items and ran forward tackling Sam on the bed in a bear hug. 

“UGH!Get off me you rat.” Sam laughed and pushed Astrid away and over to the bed opposite. 

“What? You’re not happy to see me?” Astrid scoffed as she flattened her hair down again, pouting playfully at Sam. 

“No, not really.” Sam shrugs playfully, pretending to occupy herself by picking at her nails and Astrid is not having it.

“Admit it Sam, I’m your favourite.” Astrid crosses her arms and raises a brow, awaiting Sam’s response. 

“Ha! You wish As-turd.” Sam retaliates as she settles back down into her previous position with her phone. Dramatically Astrid gasps with a hand to her chest. 

“Excuse me, only Macca is allowed to call me that.” Astrid mirrors Sam, lying down on her own bed and turns her head towards Sam’s bed where the captain was also looking over at the young striker.

“Whatever. How have you been? Congrats on the cup.” Sam brings them to a regular conversation. 

“Thanks. Yeah, I’m good. Excited to be back home.” Astrid speaks with a soft smile, turning towards the roof. She loved coming back home to Australia after so much time away, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. 

“Good.” Sam nods and the room goes silent for a minute. “How’s it going with Kyra?” Astrid's eyes widen and her head snaps back to Sam. How does she know?

“W-what do you mean?” Her voice wavers a bit and Sam continues looking at her phone. 

“Aren’t you guys living together? Is she making you pull your hair out yet?” Sam chuckles lightly and Astrid lets out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh yeah. Everyday.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. Phew.

“Are you ready for dinner?” Sam asks after checking the time and seeing it was time for team dinner now that everyone had arrived. 

“Yes, I’m starving!” Astrid jumped out of bed and they left the room together. 

As everyone arrived at the dining room they greeted one another, excited as always to be on camp with the people again and playing the game they love. 

Astrid sat with Kyra, Charli, Courtney, and Mary, or as everyone else called them, the babies, and they caught up after 2 months apart and loudly annoyed one another which then annoyed everyone else. 

After a night of catching up, playing games and relaxing before the week ahead of their French battle, everyone tiredly returned to their rooms and fell asleep early. 

The girls had four days together to prepare for game day and no one was messing around. Well, kinda. 

The team always liked to have fun with one another in training, laughing and giggling at one another's mistakes, pulling small pranks and teasing but most of all chatting. They loved to chat while running drills, especially Astrid and Charli. 

They could chat and chat for hours while still perfectly executing drills or simply running around the track. The other girls were marvelled with how much they could get done while talking to one another and giggling mostly. 

After four days of training it was finally match day at Marvel Stadium. The team had gone on their pre-match walk and completed their pre game training, watching the fans start to filter through and fill the seats. 

Astrid hadn’t been named in the starting 11, which slightly disappointed her but she understood that her reputation still stood as a super-sub and she was more than happy to come on towards the end and hopefully score a goal for the fans. 

And that’s just what she did. At 75 minutes her number 31 was flashing green and number 20 was red as Sam made her way to the sidelines for Astrid to come on. Astrid ran to her position as the new 9 alongside Tameka as the 10. 

It didn’t take long for Astrid to get her foot on the ball and close to the goal, after Kyra had passed it through to her and now she was 1v1 with a french defender. She battled easily and managed to nutmeg her before running around and towards the keeper. She was alone and onside and the net was clearer than ever. 

Her line was as clear as it was going to get so she went for it. Her right foot swung hard against the ball, rolling across the grass in what felt like slow motion as it rolled through the keeper's feet and past the white line. 

The crowd roared and Astrid took off running, hands reaching up to the sky and forming a hard with her hands as she ran, her teammates running behind her before she stopped and they jumped all over her. She smiled and laughed with her best friends as they celebrated and the crowd was cheering.  

The game ended in a 2-0 win and a very happy crowd of supporters celebrating the last game before the world cup starts only 6 days from now. 

The girls did their round of the stadium for the fans, taking photos and signing merchandise, making people's dreams come true. This could easily be Astrid’s favourite part of being with the matildas, watching peoples faces light up with joy over a simple interaction or wave in their direction and it made everything they go through as players worth it.

To be continued...

so real