Stargirl | Matildas X Original Character Fic [part Thirteen]

Joining the club | Jen Beattie x reader

Summary; 2023 and the start of 2024 seem to have something in common already; everyone in the WOSO community seems to be getting engaged. And when you bring this up to your long term partner Jen, it seems she has nothing to say, or does she….

Pairings; Jen Beattie x famous!reader

Words; 2.5k

Warnings; pure fluff, swearing

A/N; It seems to be the season of getting engaged and even though I am way off getting engaged and very very single, I thought I would pretend and imagine that I was getting engaged to the one and only Jen Beattie. There is also a lack of Jen fics on here and I feel the need to write one for her. Enjoy!

First it was Steph and Dean all the way back in January. Lynn and Marley finally did it back in May. Then in June it was Emily and Kat, and Katrina and Clara just a few days after. Kristie and Sam finally revealed theirs from September after months of teasing. Chloe Kelly and Millie Bright got it within the same week, sharing photos with their partners around christmas. And finally a surprise from Ellie and Daan on the first day of a new year. 

It seemed 2023 and now 2024 was the time for engagements in the world of women’s football and you were quite caught up in all the news. 

“Oh my god babe, another one!” You let out a gasp as the post from Ellie and Daan popped up on your instagram feed, stopping your pre-dinner scrolling as you paused and assessed the picture. It was from a few days ago, and you were seeing it now because you had been away with Jen and her family, avoiding social media to spend time with them and only now catching up. 

“What?” Jen’s voice called from the kitchen, you jumping up from the couch with your phone and running quickly into the kitchen. 

“Look.” You aggressively shoved your phone into her face and she adjusted to the bright light as she tried to look at the photo. 

“Oh wow, congrats to them.” Jen smiled quickly before turning away and back to the food on the stove. You frowned at her quick response and disinterest at the post.

“Do you not think it’s funny?” You asked with a small laugh from beside her. 

“What is?” She asked whilst moving around the kitchen to find the rest of the ingredients for your dinner. 

“That everyone in the footballing world seems to be getting engaged at the moment?” You asked again and she didn’t respond with any excitement, again.

“Oh, guess I didn’t notice.” She shrugged and continued to stir the pot. You opened your mouth to talk again but she got there before you. “Could you grab me some bowls, love?” She asked while keeping her eyes on the pan. You paused for a second before grabbing two clean ones from the dishwasher and placing them next to her. “Thank you.” She smiled at you briefly before beginning to dish up the pasta that was now done. 

“You’re welcome.” You snapped out of your trance and silently moved to grab some glasses and the wine from the fridge. She waited for you to finish pouring your drinks before she grabbed both bowls and headed for the couch, you following close behind her. 

“What are we watching tonight, love?” Jen asked as she sat beside you on the couch, now both holding your dinner and the wine glasses on the coffee table. 

“I don’t mind, you pick.” You shrugged before taking a bite of your food and now it was her turn to frown at you, normally you always took control over what to watch together. 

“You okay?” Jen asked simply and you nodded silently while eating and staring at the screen in front of you. “ Okay, how about Bridgerton? We still haven’t finished season two.” She suggested and once again you nodded silently from beside her. 

You weren’t sure why you were feeling slightly off after Jen’s reaction to the post and your comments, but you still snuggled into her on the couch after finishing your pasta and wine.

The episode finished and you could feel the both of you drifting off after a long day. Jen had been back at training after winter break and your schedule had been hectic since returning from time off. You were an actress and your new movie was about to come out so all the promo shoots and interviews were now in full swing, though you were grateful it began in London so you could still go home to Jen every night.  

You met Jen a few years back at an event in London you had both been invited to, catching her eyes from the other side of the room and instantly knowing you had to go talk to her. You knew who each other were, an actress making her name in the world and a famous sports star who silently followed each other in their respective lines of work. One conversation and you knew there was something there, and so did she. You both knew it would be hard with your professions and the distance you would have at certain times, but you wanted to make it work, somehow keeping it from the public eye for two years before hard launching it on your anniversary and sending both sets of fans into a frenzy. 

“Ready for bed love?” Jen spoke softly into the dark living room, smoothing your hair softly. 

“Definitely.” You yawned and sat up, rubbing your tired eyes as Jen stood up and held a hand out for you. You smiled at the gesture and met your hand in hers, pulling yourself up and making your way to your bedroom together. You both had already showered when you got home earlier so all that was left to do was to brush your teeth together. 

Your night routine was almost the same every night, no matter what was going on in your separate lives, you always spent those last few minutes together before crawling into bed. So once you both finished in the bathroom, you hopped into bed on your chosen sides but made your way closer to the middle and each other, Jen opening her arms to you as you laid your head on her chest.

“Sorry I’ve been quiet, tired.” You mumbled into the darkness against Jen as she drew small circles against your back. 

“It’s okay, me too.” Jen looked down at you to meet your soft eyes. 

“I love you.” You smiled and snuggled into her chest once more, eyes drifting closed. 

“I love you too.” Jen placed a kiss against your head before closing her own eyes and drifting asleep. 

The topic of last night's conversation was mostly forgotten in the morning, or at least it wasn’t brought up again between you too. That didn’t mean it wasn’t brought up with different people. Jen arrived at training and as both Steph and Beth walked up to her, they could tell something was on her mind. 

“You alright there Jenny?” Steph bumped her shoulder as herself and Beth joined her sides. 

“Hmm? Oh yeah.” Jen nodded at them but went silent straight after. 

“You sure?” Beth dragged out her words and brought her face as she could to Jen’s, their height difference proving to be a little difficult.

“Yeah, just thinking.” Jen tried to brush them off again but these two were persistent and she knew she wasn’t going to get very far if she didn’t tell them. She stopped her walking and sighed before speaking. “Last night, Y/N brought up how it seems like everyone’s getting engaged at the moment, and I didn’t really say anything back. And then she seemed upset for the rest of the night, but she said she was just tired, which I know she has been, but I also think I might have upset her in some way.” She let out in almost one breath as Steph and Beth tried to process her words. 

“Well she’s not wrong, especially in the last few weeks.” Beth added with a shrug. 

“Do you think she’s ready?” Steph ignored Beth’s comment and looked at Jen.

“Well, I wasn’t sure before, but after last night I think she is.” Jen looked between the two of them. “Just the way she was talking about it and then when I didn’t really say anything…” She trailed off and looked down. 

“I think she’s ready.” Steph spoke with a smile. She had watched from the beginning of your relationship with Jen just how happy you were with one another, and how easy the relationship seemed even when spending time apart due to work. 

“Are you?” Beth asked sincerely, her and Steph awaiting Jen’s reply. Jen was silent for a few seconds, bringing her eyes back up to look at her best friends. 

“I bought the ring like 2 months ago.” She mumbled but they still heard it and instantly started beaming at the Scottish woman. 

“You sly little bastard.” Beth punched Jen’s arm softly as they began to walk again so that they wouldn’t be late for training. 

Throughout the whole day the three of them, mostly Steph and Beth, were coming up with ideas on how she should propose but Jen kept shooting them down. She wanted it to be private, special and a surprise, so anything that involved taking you out somewhere would instantly make you suspicious. 

While Jen had been conversing her thoughts and plans with her best friends at training, you were in your head all day thinking about last night. Which wasn’t really helping especially when you were trying to film press interviews all day and talk about your movie. 

You could have talked to your co-stars about it, after all they had become close friends while shooting and now being with each other everyday for promo, but the only person you really wanted to talk to was Jen; it was always Jen. 

Jen got home long before you, taking her time to deep clean the flat and cook dinner for you once again, knowing you would be exhausted from your long day of work. 

She didn’t hear you opening the door and making your way through the flat, she had been vacuuming with her headphones on and dancing around your bedroom. You stood in the doorway for a few minutes after spotting her, admiring her and waiting for her to see you. And when she did, boy did she get a fright. 

“Ah fuck!” Jen almost jumped out of her skin when she finally turned around and spotted you lurking in the doorway, using one hand to remove her headphones and the other to turn the vacuum off. “How long have you been standing there?” She dropped the vacuum and began to walk over to you. 

“A few minutes. I was admiring your hidden dance skills.” You smiled and stood up straighter, welcoming her into a hug like you do every day. “Hi.” You mumbled into her shoulder. 

“Hi love.” She pulled back and leaned in for a soft kiss. No matter how many times you kiss Jen, it feels like the very first time all over again, even after 4 years. “Busy day?” She asked as you parted, taking in your tired expression. 

“Busy day.” You nodded and smiled at her. “How was training?” You asked as you walked hand and hand to the kitchen. 

“Good, good to be back with the girls.” Jen smiled at you before letting go to retrieve dinner from the oven. You stood at the counter, simply watching her as she moved about wrapping up dinner. “Go put something on, I’ve got it.” Jen smiled and placed a kiss on your temple before ushering you to the lounge room.

“Okay bossy.” You laughed before making your way to the couch and switching the TV over to Netflix to finish the final episode of Bridgerton. You wait patiently for her on the couch, looking over your shoulder every few seconds to see if she is coming around the corner. 

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Jen is trying to hide her anxiety and nervousness as she plates up dinner and feels her pocket one more time. With two champagne glasses now full and a tray full of food she finally makes her way to you, letting out a final breath before entering the living room. 

“Dinner is served.” She places the tray down on the table and bows which makes you laugh. Your eyes fall on the glasses and you’re instantly confused. 

“What’s with the champagne? Decide the wine wasn’t good enough?” You joked and she let out a small laugh shaking her head. 

“Some nights are a little more special than the others.” She cryptically says and has you even more confused but you leave the comment alone and hit play on the remote. 

You eat dinner together while watching the episode, silently watching with a bit of commentary along the way before cuddling up after eating. The episode finishes and you can feel Jen’s heart beating particularly fast, her fingers are nervously playing with one another and she hasn’t spoken in a few minutes. You sit up silently and look at her, she doesn’t look at you. You’re about to fill the silence when she beats you to it. 

“You know how much I love you, right?.” Jen rushes out and leaves you slightly bewildered. 

“I know. I love you just as much.” You reply. “What’s wrong?” You bring your hand up to brush her hair back into her low bun. 

“I’m about to do something and I hope you don’t think it’s random and forced because it’s not and I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I didn’t want to make a massive deal about it because it’s just you and me and that’s all that matters.” Jen speaks in one long breath and you need a second for your brain to catch up but before it can she’s pulling you up off the couch with her and standing in front of you. She holds your hands in hers and looks directly at you. 

“Wha-” Before you could even think about finishing your sentence, a giant gasp leaves your mouth at her next action. She drops down to one knee whilst still holding holding your hands, smiling up at you as tears well in your eyes. 

“My love, I could go on and on about how much I love you but you already know. There is no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with, no matter where it shall take us. So,” She let go of your hands, you bringing them up to your face and hers reaching down into her pocket. She fishes the small, black box out, opening it to reveal a sparkling ring and looks back up at you. “Y/N Y/L/N, will you-” 

“YES!” You interrupt her before she gets to finish causing her to laugh and shake her head. 

You just stand there admiring her as she gets up and removes the ring from the box. She brings your shaking left hand from your face and slides the ring on. Your jaw drops at the ring before you jump into her arms, causing her to react quickly and grab hold of your legs. “I love you so much Jen.” You cry into her shoulder as she holds you before you lift your head up, meeting your eyes with hers before pulling in for a kiss. 

The rest of the night is spent in one another's arms just admiring each other and talking softly with each other about the rest of your lives while wrapped up in your sheets.

yourinstagram and jbeattie91

yourinstagram we joined the club 💍

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stephcatley so happy for you! welcome to the club 😉

bethmead_ about time jen jen. congrats 🥰

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THE END!

A life for a life |Derek Morgan x platonic!reader

Summary; while chasing down an unsub, reader has to make a haste decision on whether to take the kill shot, making it their first. 

Pairings; derek morgan x platonic!reader, bau team x platonic!reader (gender neutral, no direct pronouns used)

Warnings; guns used, blood, typical cm plot things, fluff, angst and sadness wrapped into one.

Words; 1.2k

Not my gif; @just-my-fandom​

Once the team had figured out who the unsub was, they split up between his home and work addresses, racing against the clock towards each. Morgan, Spencer and yourself were currently heading to his house with Garcia on the phone still spitting out random facts about him.

 The SUV pulled up outside the small house, the three of you jumping out straight away. 

“Reid, you take the back entrance.” Morgan instructed, Spencer running around the side of the house instantly. “You take the kitchen entrance and I’ll take the front.” You nodded at him, giving him a fist bump before taking off, it was your way of saying “be safe” without words. 

You stayed quiet and low as you travelled around the west side, looking through the windows for any sign of the unsub. 

“I got him. He’s in the living room with Carrie.” You whispered into your radio, spotting him and the missing girl through the side window. You continue until you get to the door. Derek’s loud voice can be heard throughout the whole house. 

“Samuel Rogers! Drop the weapon and let Carrie go!” 

You twist the handle of the door slowly, attempting not to make any noise as you open it easily, stepping inside the house quietly. You had your gun raised, checking each corner before you found yourself at the edge of the kitchen and the living room. Derek was directly in front of the unsub, gun trained at him as best as he could with the unsub moving back and forth, arms tight around Carrie’s neck. Spencer was only 2 feet away from you, standing between the dining and living room, doing the same as you, standing silently behind them in case things went south. 

Derek was talking to him, trying to calm him down and encouraging him to let her go but he wasn't budging. “Give it up man, let her go. Your plan didn’t work.” Morgan kept saying to him. Your gun was pointed directly at him from behind, Samuel being unaware of the two agents currently behind him. 

“SHUT UP!” Samuel yelled, squeezing Carrie tighter in his arms, pointing his gun directly at Derek’s chest. 

Adrenaline was pumping through your veins, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stood closer to an unsub than you ever have before. Your finger was pressing on the trigger and within seconds a shot was fired, your arm jolting back as your own gun fired. Your eyes were squinted shut, not seeing directly where it was fired. 

You opened your eyes seconds later, spotting Spencer moving closer to Samuel’s body checking for a pulse, Derek reaching forward to move Carrie out of the way. Your eyes then travelled to the lifeless body on the ground, spotting the bloody hole in his forehead. Your breath left your chest, arms still raised with your gun in your hands.

This isn’t the first time you’ve shot someone while being in the FBI, normally opting for the shoulder or the thigh, pretty much just knocking them down. But this was your first kill. The first time your shot has killed someone else. You were frozen in your spot, watching the scene unfold before you as the rest of your team showed up, moving Carrie out to an ambulance and covering Samuel’s body with a white sheet.

A soft hand on your shoulder finally broke you from your trance, you blinked and the air finally returned to your lungs. 

“Y/N.” Derek called out softly from beside your ear. He reached out and placed his hand on your extended arms, lowering them and removing your gun from shaking hands. “It’s okay.” He whispered and your head dropped, playing back the same moment over and over again. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and walked you out of your head, guiding you to stand next to one of the SUV’s. 

You were in a state of shock, staring down at the pavement while people walked past you, sirens rang and lights flashed in the street, neighbours coming out of their houses to look at the spectacle happening in their street. 

“Hey.” Derek appeared in front of you again. “You okay?” His voice was soft and calming. You kept your head down. 

“I- I’ve never killed anyone before. I didn’t want it to end like that.” You shook your head, eventually meeting his soft eyes with your sad ones. 

“I know. I know, kid.” He consoled you. “I also know that you saved my life.” He held your shoulder again, pulling you closer to him. 

“Well yeah but-” You looked down again, sighing deeply. 

“No buts. Look at me.” He instructed but you didn’t. He used his hand to grab your cheek softly, pulling you up to meet his eyes again. “You did what you had to. Okay?” He was telling the truth but there was part of you that knew it could’ve ended differently and he sensed this. “Okay?” He asked again. 

“Okay.” You sighed, nodding your head. 

“Come here.” He pulled you into a soft hug, holding your head against his chest as you wrapped your arms up under his shoulders. You didn’t care if people or your team saw you hugging in the field, they knew how close you guys were. He was like your big brother and your best friend rolled into one. He was close to Spencer in a similar way, everyone including yourself knew that. But he was the first to take you under his wing when you joined the team not that long ago, finding comfort in you and your presence; you felt the exact same. 

“Thank you Morgan.” You pulled back from the hug, smiling softly up at him. 

“Anytime Y/L/N.” He ruffled your hair like he always did. “Let’s go get a drink.” He laughed slightly, brightening the mood. You nodded, never passing up the chance to hang out with your team in a fun setting. 

You had all made your way back to the hotel you were staying at, taking some time to get yourselves ready before heading down to the hotel bar. You were the last to arrive, taking a little extra time in the shower to wash the day off. As you walked down the stairs into the bar, the whole team turned to look at you, cheering lightly as they said hello. Your face changed quickly from happy to confused. You walked closer to them, standing next to Derek. 

“What’s going on?” You looked at him, whispering through a smile. His own smile grew larger as he handed you your favourite drink. 

“To Y/N,” Everyone raised their glasses. “For saving my life today.” He continued and wrapped his empty arm around your shoulder. Everyone clinked their glasses together, making sure to smile and make eye contact with you. “Thank you, I’m proud of you.” Derek whispered in your ear, placing a kiss on your temple as the rest of your team talked amongst themselves again. 

The rest of the night was spent talking,laughing and drinking with your newfound family. It was a tough case, especially for you and tonight was exactly what you needed.  

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part twenty one]

Words; 2.1k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; none

masterlist

The lead up to the world cup is no easy feat, for anyone. Everything you did as players both at club and on national level in the months before mattered more than ever. And for Astrid the pressure was building up inside. 

She had made her mark in the team again at the last camp against Scotland and England, playing in the second match, assisting Charli’s first Matildas goal and slipping one of her own in. Not to mention her 19th birthday celebrated in England before she went back to Sweden and returned to Hammarby training with Kyra. 

They were in the start of the Damallsvenskan season and nearing the end of the Svenska Cupen, hoping to make it to the final and win the cup. Astrid and Kyra were both a major part of the squad, either playing full matches or close to and making an impact within the team. They continued to work well with one another, creating beautiful passes and more assist/goal partnerships than anyone else on the team. 

Their relationship outside of the game was continuing to grow with one another, but only behind closed doors. They knew what fans could be like with speculation and looking deeply into photos to find “clues” as to whether or not their close friendship had evolved anywhere further. So it was best if no one was in on their secret, not even Charli or Courtney who thankfully lived further away and didn’t interrupt their stolen moments at home. 

On the 6th of June, 2023, Hammarby had their final game in the Svenska Cup against BK Häcken for the title. Kyra had been named in the starting line up with plenty of other strong players she could create chances with, but when they got to halftime and no goals scored by either side, she was ready for Astrid to come on. 

Replacing Matilda Vinberg on the wing, Astrid came on with a fire to take out the cup and win her first trophy with Hammarby. Madelen Janogy helped them get ahead with 2 goals within 15 minutes of the second half. 

Astrid’s first goal came not long after that, a corner by Kyra’s right foot, the ball landing directly at her head as she stood close to the goal, knocking it in with precision to slip past the keeper's hands. She immediately ran over to Kyra who came in from the corner, jumping onto her and nearly pushing her down but Kyra stabilised themselves, before the rest of the team came and dogpiled them.

One more goal from Maika at 68 minutes and there was no chance they weren’t winning, the possession stayed with Hammarby and although the Häcken keeper was able to block a lot more the of the shots towards the end, Häcken wasn’t able to get any goals into the net either. The whistle blew and the team screamed in joy, running in together and celebrating their cup win. 

After the end of that cup, the Damallsvenskan was in full force and Hammarby were on a winning streak. The 4 games in the remainder of that month ended in victory for the club and happiness forAstrid for making one or more goal contributions to each of those games. 

The 3rd of July 2023 became a date Astrid would never forget. It was early morning right before they left for training when Astrid’s phone began buzzing, Tony’s contact appearing on her screen. Without hesitation she quickly accepted the facetime and held it up to see him. 

“Ah! Hello Astrid.” Tony waved through the screen. 

“Hi G-man, how are you?” Astrid waved back, a wide smile on her face but her stomach churned in anticipation.

“Very well, thank you.” Tony laughed at the nickname like every time she said it, Kyra was also shaking her head and holding a laugh from the otherside of the room. 

“Congratulations on the cup win, very deserved.”

“Thank you Tony, very happy with the result.” Astrid nodded her head and waited for him to speak further. 

“Astrid,” He began falling into a more serious tone. “My reasoning for the call is to talk about the next camp against France and also this year's World Cup.” Astrid stayed silent and nodded her head. “As a coaching staff we have never been more impressed with a person of your age and talent. You are strong, skilled, resilient and so much more. You are a large asset to the team both on and off the pitch.” Tony smiled kindly at her, watching her face light up at the compliments. 

“Thank you.” Astrid held back the tears brimming from her eyes and let him continue.

“Which is why it is my pleasure to invite you on our roster for the 2023 Women's World Cup if you would join us?” Both their smiles grew bigger and Kyra was jumping up and down in the living room for her girlfriend. 

“Yes, yes. Absolutely yes.” Astrid beamed even brighter, nodding her head up and down as Tony laughed and they wrapped up their conversation. As soon as the call ended Astrid dropped her phone and ran over to Kyra, jumping up and wrapping her legs around Kyra’s waist. “OH MY GOD!” Astrid yelled out as they spun in circles. Tears of happiness ran down her face as Kyra placed her down again. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Kyra wiped Astrid’s tears with her thumbs before leaning in and kissing her. But they were interrupted when Kyra’s phone started buzzing in her pocket. “It’s Tony.” Kyra looked from her phone back up to Astrid who was practically answering the facetime for her and pushing it up to Kyra’s face, stepping out of view. 

Astrid was half paying attention to the facetime as she stood opposite Kyra, instead thinking of her parents and how proud they would be. Wishing she could tell them but they already knew as they watched over her every single day of her life. Astrid zoned back in as Kyra finished her conversation and ran to her girlfriend with an even bigger smile.

“WE’RE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP BABY!” Kyra shouted as they jumped around in a circle holding hands before pulling in and kissing one another with pride. A morning Astrid will never forget. 

Only 5 days later Astrid and Kyra were jumping on a plane back home to Australia for their final World Cup prep match against France down in Melbourne. The flight was long but not awful, both of the girls managed to sleep a lot of the way, landing well rested and not irritable. 

They pulled up to the hotel and jumped out, grabbing their bags and moving into the lobby. Because of their club schedule the pair were once again last to arrive, after rooms had been assigned by their teammates. So it was a mystery which teammate they had been paired with until they opened their room doors and greeted their bunkmate for the next week.

Astrid and Kyra walked hand in hand while no one was around, soaking in the last minutes they could act like a couple for probably a few days. They waved bye to each other and reached their separate rooms. Astrid opened her door and pushed her way through, dragging her heavy bags in and peering around the corner. 

Sam was laying on one of the beds and looked up from her phone upon hearing the door open. “KIDDO!” She threw her phone down as Astrid appeared around the corner. 

“SAMMY!” Astrid yelled in reply as she dropped her items and ran forward tackling Sam on the bed in a bear hug. 

“UGH!Get off me you rat.” Sam laughed and pushed Astrid away and over to the bed opposite. 

“What? You’re not happy to see me?” Astrid scoffed as she flattened her hair down again, pouting playfully at Sam. 

“No, not really.” Sam shrugs playfully, pretending to occupy herself by picking at her nails and Astrid is not having it.

“Admit it Sam, I’m your favourite.” Astrid crosses her arms and raises a brow, awaiting Sam’s response. 

“Ha! You wish As-turd.” Sam retaliates as she settles back down into her previous position with her phone. Dramatically Astrid gasps with a hand to her chest. 

“Excuse me, only Macca is allowed to call me that.” Astrid mirrors Sam, lying down on her own bed and turns her head towards Sam’s bed where the captain was also looking over at the young striker.

“Whatever. How have you been? Congrats on the cup.” Sam brings them to a regular conversation. 

“Thanks. Yeah, I’m good. Excited to be back home.” Astrid speaks with a soft smile, turning towards the roof. She loved coming back home to Australia after so much time away, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. 

“Good.” Sam nods and the room goes silent for a minute. “How’s it going with Kyra?” Astrid's eyes widen and her head snaps back to Sam. How does she know?

“W-what do you mean?” Her voice wavers a bit and Sam continues looking at her phone. 

“Aren’t you guys living together? Is she making you pull your hair out yet?” Sam chuckles lightly and Astrid lets out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh yeah. Everyday.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. Phew.

“Are you ready for dinner?” Sam asks after checking the time and seeing it was time for team dinner now that everyone had arrived. 

“Yes, I’m starving!” Astrid jumped out of bed and they left the room together. 

As everyone arrived at the dining room they greeted one another, excited as always to be on camp with the people again and playing the game they love. 

Astrid sat with Kyra, Charli, Courtney, and Mary, or as everyone else called them, the babies, and they caught up after 2 months apart and loudly annoyed one another which then annoyed everyone else. 

After a night of catching up, playing games and relaxing before the week ahead of their French battle, everyone tiredly returned to their rooms and fell asleep early. 

The girls had four days together to prepare for game day and no one was messing around. Well, kinda. 

The team always liked to have fun with one another in training, laughing and giggling at one another's mistakes, pulling small pranks and teasing but most of all chatting. They loved to chat while running drills, especially Astrid and Charli. 

They could chat and chat for hours while still perfectly executing drills or simply running around the track. The other girls were marvelled with how much they could get done while talking to one another and giggling mostly. 

After four days of training it was finally match day at Marvel Stadium. The team had gone on their pre-match walk and completed their pre game training, watching the fans start to filter through and fill the seats. 

Astrid hadn’t been named in the starting 11, which slightly disappointed her but she understood that her reputation still stood as a super-sub and she was more than happy to come on towards the end and hopefully score a goal for the fans. 

And that’s just what she did. At 75 minutes her number 31 was flashing green and number 20 was red as Sam made her way to the sidelines for Astrid to come on. Astrid ran to her position as the new 9 alongside Tameka as the 10. 

It didn’t take long for Astrid to get her foot on the ball and close to the goal, after Kyra had passed it through to her and now she was 1v1 with a french defender. She battled easily and managed to nutmeg her before running around and towards the keeper. She was alone and onside and the net was clearer than ever. 

Her line was as clear as it was going to get so she went for it. Her right foot swung hard against the ball, rolling across the grass in what felt like slow motion as it rolled through the keeper's feet and past the white line. 

The crowd roared and Astrid took off running, hands reaching up to the sky and forming a hard with her hands as she ran, her teammates running behind her before she stopped and they jumped all over her. She smiled and laughed with her best friends as they celebrated and the crowd was cheering.  

The game ended in a 2-0 win and a very happy crowd of supporters celebrating the last game before the world cup starts only 6 days from now. 

The girls did their round of the stadium for the fans, taking photos and signing merchandise, making people's dreams come true. This could easily be Astrid’s favourite part of being with the matildas, watching peoples faces light up with joy over a simple interaction or wave in their direction and it made everything they go through as players worth it.

To be continued...

it's not your fault | Mary Earps x reader

Summary; The qualifier match against the Netherlands didn’t go exactly to plan even though they won and everyone is feeling it when that final whistle blows, especially Mary as she captains her team for the first time and you make sure she doesn't fall too deep.

Pairings; Mary Earps x lioness reader

Words; 2.2k

Warnings; angst and sadness 

A/N; It broke my heart seeing Mary like that after the game, she did her absolute best and I hope she doesn’t take it too hard and keeps her head up for the next game. So I thought I would write something that gave her a bit of imaginary comfort and projected what I would have done in that situation with her. (Also as much as I love Fran I am replacing her with the reader because in this you are a midfielder as well and we have to make some changes in this fake scenario)

You had known Mary long enough to tell when she was nervous before a game, often sitting by herself quietly for a few minutes to collect her thoughts before joining the team and getting them pumped up. But today you could sense an extra level of worry and nerves flowing through her like never before. 

She had a right to be nervous, of course. The Netherlands were tough opponents and she was captaining the Lionesses for the first time with both Leah and Millie absent from the team. She took the role seriously and with pride from the moment Sarina asked her to captain the English side in these qualifiers, you were so very proud of your partner and excited to take the field under her leadership. But now she was starting to worry you. 

She had been quiet the whole day, stuck in her own head as she went over the tactics and game plans she had discussed with Sarina and the coaching staff over the past few days. You had tried talking to her all day and get her mind off the game for one second and enjoy the pre match activities with the team but it was no use. She politely brushed you off and you just knew there was no chance in getting her to relax so you let her be. 

But now as you were preparing to line up in the tunnel for the match, you knew you had to pull her aside for even just a second and try and get her out of her head. 

Mary had just delivered a beautiful and powerful speech to the entire team in the dressing room before they all began moving to the tunnel or the benches and readied to start the game, but before Mary could walk out you grabbed her wrist and pulled her silently to an empty hallway. 

“What are you doing? We have to go and line up.” Mary sighed as you came to a stop and leant against the wall, her standing in front of you. 

“Mary, I need you to listen to me carefully, okay?” You stood up straighter, placing your hands onto her face. She nodded silently in confusion and waited for you to begin. “I need you to know that whatever happens out there, whether it goes our way or not. It’s not only on you, okay?” You spoke sternly with strong eye contact, hoping the words make their way into her head and calm her down. “I’m so proud of you. You work so hard and you deserve to be captain today. But, I can tell that taking on this role has taken a toll on you for the past few days, and I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m always here for you. You are my world and I love you and whatever happens in these next 90 minutes, I am doing it with you. And so are the rest of those girls who look at you with as admiration as I do.” You smiled sweetly as you finished, watching her visibly melt and relax. She lets the words process and pulls you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you.” Mary mumbled into your shoulder, squeezing you tight before pulling back and looking into your eyes. “I love you.” She puts her forehead on yours and breathes in deeply. After a few moments of silence you both pulled back, nodding your head back down the empty hallway that led to the tunnel and you began walking side by side towards the rest of the starting line up. 

Mary made her way to the front to take her place as number 1 and captain, while you stayed just further back as number 9 and stood between the Lauren’s with your mascot. While waiting to get called out, you watched the back of Mary’s head and hoped that your words were sticking in her head but also stayed focused on the game ahead. Once both national anthems had played and formalities were exchanged with the opposition, it was time to start, waiting for the whistle to blow and the game to begin. 

The beginning was looking promising, your side taking quick possession and having fantastic chances and shots at goal within the first ten minutes but nothing seemed to go in and the Dutch defence was strong. In the 11th minute the Dutch side regained possession, swiftly passing to Pelova down the right wing who took a shot towards Beerensteyn, Jess and Lucy were closing in on her but when they clashed they opened too much space. 

Mary was ready for her, prepared to block from the angle but the ball left Beerensteyn’s foot, passing through Jess’s legs and just going under Mary as she fell to block it but in the end it was an early goal for the Netherlands. 

Watching it happen from further back on the field, unable to do anything from your position in the midfield, sighing in defeat when the net rippled and Mary stayed down on the ground in devastation. When the second goal just slipped past Mary again, she was mad at herself and also her defenders who let Beerensteyn in again for a second time. You caught her eye from the midfield and you could feel the anger from here. “Calm down.” Was all you could mouth to her while the players all returned to their positions, Mary huffing and shaking her head as she stood in the goal.

 The first half ended and England were down two nil and so were their spirits, especially Mary who tried to stay positive for her teammates but it was hard to hide her feelings.

After refreshing themselves and pumping back up for a battle in the second half, ready to fight and take the lead before that final whistle. 

Only 12 minutes into the second half and Georgia had finally secured a goal for the English side, you being one of the first to run up and jump on her with excitement at her header. Hope to turn this around bloomed two minutes later when Hempo sent the ball rippling into the net and the English crowd roared in celebration at the equalising goal. 

Time ticked and neither side could seem to secure a goal, yourself included in those ones on target but blocked. Sarina decided it was time for fresh legs, signalling for the planned substitutions to be made at 68 minutes. The numbers 9 and 23 flashed on the board and you ran over to the side, clapping Alessia and Tooney before walking over to the bench with water and plopping down next to Lotte, Georgia following close behind as exhausted as you. 

The team had 20 odd minutes to add to the scoreline and take the win, plenty of chances made but again nothing. Full time ended and the ref signalled 6 minutes of extra time before it was all over. And very quickly England had advanced again, the people on the bench watching as a brilliant ball was sent from LJ, directly to Tonne’s right foot, sending the ball straight through the keeper's legs at the 91st minute. You jumped up with Georgia and Lotte beside you, screaming your lungs out alongside the home crowd at the late advance. 

The final whistle blew and although England had come out on top, it wasn’t enough to take them where they needed to be in this qualifying stage, meaning the game against Scotland mattered even more now. Your heart broke as you saw Lucy and LJ drop to the floor instantly, feeling absolutely defeated and exhausted from this match. But your first priority was Mary, who you knew would be shattered right now, quickly walking onto the pitch, clapping your teammates and the Dutch players on your way to the England goal. Mary hated conceding goals, it was one thing she criticised herself on so harshly at both club and international level. 

Your eyes searched that end of the field as you walked past player after player but you still couldn’t see her. A few people were knelt down on the ground consoling someone, no face shown but you could just make out the green keeper kit peeping through the gaps and you began running over. Lotte spotted you and began moving away slowly, the other girls also getting the hint and backing away so you could come closer to Mary. As much as they also wanted to console her, they knew you were the person she needed right now, knowing you would be able to get through to her. 

“Hey love.” You spoke softly, kneeling down and resting your head on hers. The second she heard your soft voice she let out a deep breath, more tears springing to her eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered out to you, shaking her head against yours, shoulder shaking with her shuddered breath.

“Stop.” You spoke more sternly, placing your hands against her face but keeping your foreheads together, keeping this moment between the two of you. “It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault, okay? We rise and we fall as a team.” Mary didn’t respond to you, just sniffling in silence and that was enough for you to pull both of you up from the ground and bury her head in your neck, wrapping one arm around her back, the other holding her head. 

Mary instantly wrapped her arms over your shoulders, her taller frame leaning into your body and letting go slightly. More tears fell from her eyes and she forgot you were standing in the middle of Wembley Stadium, all she knew was that she was safe in your arms and that was all that mattered at that moment. 

A few people had come past you and Mary hugging on the field before you pulled back and finally looked into her red, tired eyes. Your own eyes were teary from feeling the weight of the game and after seeing how hard Mary was taking this and the conceded goals. You sent her a soft smile and wiped under her eyes, brushing a few stray baby hairs from her face. 

“I love you, angel.” She whispered to you once again, tears choking up her throat. 

“I love you so much.” You brushed her cheek with your thumb one last time. Knowing you would have to form your huddle soon, you kept an arm over her shoulder, Mary wrapping one of her own around your waist as you both walked to where other members of the team were waiting. A few of the girls were taking this hard, just like Mary, and others were like you comforting their friends close. 

After interviews were done, everyone was showered and rugged up, you piled onto the silent bus, Mary slotting in beside you near the back. You opened up your arms to her and her head fell onto your chest, her arms wrapping around your middle as you ran your hands through her clean wet hair. Normally Mary was the one to hold you in her arms after a tough game but you knew she needed the familiarity of your arms to sooth her. 

After dinner Mary had found her way into your room, asking to swap with Rachel for the night, who happily did so and went to the other room with Lucy. You and Mary just laid in bed silently together, you laying on her chest and she held you close, slowly running her fingers up and down your back. You could tell she was in her head again when her movements became less constant and when you looked up at her, she was just staring off into space.

“Love,” You caught her attention, her eyes shifting down to you. “You can’t change what happened.” You shook your head softly and watched her deflate. 

“I let everyone down.” She finally spoke, averting her eyes from yours, unable to look at you anymore. You quickly sat up, moving so you were now straddling her hips and put your hands on her shoulders. 

“Love, look at me.” You spoke. “Mary.” Saying her name caught her attention, her eyes locking onto yours, tears slowly forming again. “You did not and could not let anyone down. You were amazing today and what happened on that pitch does not and will not define who you are as a person or footballer.” You had now moved your hands to hold her face. “I missed so many shots today, I should have gotten those but I didn’t, these things happen.” You swallowed as tears began to form in your eyes as you can see how broken she is. “I have never been prouder of you than I am right now.” You smiled and rested your forehead on hers. 

“You’re so good to me.” Mary let out a small laugh, a tear rolling down her cheek as she shut her eyes, her hands squeezing your hips gently. “How did I get so lucky?” You laughed at her comment, thinking the exact same thing. Mary lifted her head from yours and met your eyes again for a second before quickly closing the gap and capturing your lips in a kiss. It was slow, soft, passionate and meaningful. 

For the rest of the night you laid in one another's arms, chatting mindlessly about things until the exhaustion took over and you both fell sound asleep attached to each other.

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part ten]

Words; 3.1k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; none (that im aware of, if there is something lmk)

A/N; hope you are enjoying these xx

masterlist

The team headed straight to the media room after breakfast for their pre match chat. The team filed into the room, chatting or laughing amongst themselves before sitting down. Once everyone was settled Tony walked up to the projector. 

“Hi. It’s so great to see the team together again.” He smiled brightly at the group. “It’s been more than four months. It’s now putting the national team hat on, right? Remember what we are doing here.”  Everyone focused on what he was saying. “I want to thank you for the patience that you’ve had ‘cause we’ve played the toughest schedule in the history of this program in terms of top-ranked teams this year. And at the same time we introduced 17 debutants.” Kyra nudged Astrid’s shoulder at this, Astrid smiling at the girl beside her.

“So, sometimes the result on the scoreboard might not have been what we wanted it to be. But package everything that we learnt up until now and start getting more consistency, cohesion, chemistry, we got the foundation now.” Everyone dodded along to Tony’s words. 

“323 days. That’s the number of days left until the first game in the world cup.” Tony pointed at the screen which then revealed a ‘46’. “What’s that?” He smirked as the room stayed quiet. 

“Days we’re in camp together?” Astrid spoke softly in the room. Tony nodded while making eye contact with the young player. 

“Days we’re in camp together. About three days per camp goes to travel and recovery. That means 32 days of football together before we announce a roster and come here and prepare for the World Cup.” Tony looked around the room again. Astrid’s heart dropped at the mention of the World Cup, it seemed so far away but it was officially less than a year.  “That’s 11 games. That’s what we got. Before announcing the World Cup roster, 11 games. That means we can’t waste one single minute.” The room was silent with the heaviness of the conversation. 

The team made their way out to the bus to take them to the stadium. Everyone always sat by themselves for the ride to the stadium, playing their own music and getting in game mode. 

Astrid wanted to focus on the game ahead but her mind kept drifting to the earlier mention of next year's FIFA Women’s World Cup on home soil. She knew that if she wanted to be even considered for that 23 roster then she would have to work damn hard at both club level and national level before then, especially because so many senior and regular players were already a shoe in. 

They finally arrived and made their way to the changeroom, putting on their boots and making their way to the pitch for pre-match training. After everyone made their way out, Kyra, Astrid and Charli being the last like always, Jack Sharkley the head sports scientist clapped for everyone to join him. 

“Alrighty, let’s go for a jog shall we?” He looked particularly to Astrid who always had something to say about that first warm up, usually groaning and complaining every time. 

“Let’s go.” Astrid simply said and left everyone shocked. 

“You feeling alright there, kiddo? You didn’t groan or complain.” Sam remarked as she ran alongside Astrid who rolled her eyes at the captain. 

“Piss off.” Astrid laughed and shook her head.

After their warmups, drills and skills practise it came time for Astrid’s favourite part of training; scrimmages. Normally Sam and Steph would have separate teams but today they were on the same one, Astrid taking Caitlin’s usual position who was over on the bikes with Chloe. 

The game began and Sam’s side was taking good control, once again having both Kyra and Astrid together on that right side. 

“Kyra.” Astrid called for the ball, the midfielder sending it directly to Astrid in free space. Astrid kept the ball with her, dancing around the defenders to find Sam in the centre. 

“Good, kid, over here.” Sam yelled praise to the young player, catching the ball from her and heading for the goal. A little while later Steph walked off the field, hurting her hamstring after clearing a corner, very soon after Tameka had come off too.

“We’re a man down. Kyra, drop.” Sam called out after noticing Steph missing from her defender spot. “Astrid, move it back and I’ll come out here.” Astrid and Kyra followed her instructions and the game continued. 

The game wrapped up and everyone was tired and/or sore. 

“We’re dropping like flies here.” Astrid commented softly as she saw a few players with ice packs on muscles and the physios watching with caution. 

“Your ankle holding up?” Charli stood beside her, looking at Astrid who began rolling it around and testing it. 

“Yeah it’s good. Promise.” She looked up at the older girl who was still concerned it wasn’t 100% just yet, but it was feeling better than ever. 

A few short hours later and the game had kicked off at Suncorp Stadium against Canada. 11 minutes in and Canada secured a goal from distance after a free kick. The halftime whistle had blown and the score was 1-0 to Canada and Alanna had come off a few minutes prior with a hamstring injury, Aivi taking her place. 

Play restarted and after some substitutions in the midfield, Tameka and Cortnee coming on with fresh legs, it seemed a little more promising. Astrid was told to get ready to sub in for Emily Van Egmond, shuffling their previous 4-4-2 positioning to a 4-3-3 and have Astrid take that left position alongside Sam and Mary up the front, like they discussed at halftime.

A break in play and Astrid keeps her legs moving as she waits for Emily to come off, the players exchanging a double high five before running to her position at the 78th minute. Play resumed instantly and even with many good shots at goal from so many players, nothing seemed to be working for them. Official full time had ended and 4 minutes of extra time was added.

At 93 minutes the ball had been kept in possession by the Matildas, Gorry stealing it and shooting it over to Kyra on the left wing. Kyra darted with it between the Canadian defence, spotting both Sam and Astrid near the goal but the latter had a lot more free space, sending it over her way. She was at the edge of the box when she caught it, no room to run but could spot a narrow spot between her and the goal. 

She struck with her right foot, aiming for the top right corner and as the ball approached the keeper jumped high, but not high enough. It was close to hitting the bar and missing the shot but as it came in it curved ever so slightly, touching the net, rippling as it stayed in. 

The home crowd was up on their feet, all 25,000 fans erupting in cheers. Astrid took off running to Kyra in the midfield, jumping into her arms screaming, everyone else coming to pile on top. 

And in the 93rd minute Australia equalises with Canada. Number 31 Astrid Taylor in her return to the pitch after an ankle injury last time playing for the Matildas against the Philippines. 18 years old, recently joined the Swedish league and then scored that beautiful goal against Spain a few months ago in that tough friendly. What a return to the game. 

Astrid was beyond happy after the ball fell into that net, finally bringing them equal with Canada. Two minutes later and the final whistle blew, and a draw 1-1 with the Olympic Champions. 

The team was very happy they were able to leave the game with an equal scoreline and very grateful Astrid was able to score that last minute goal. Astrid had been beckoned over for a post-match interview, wiping the sweat from her face before appearing on camera. 

“How was it scoring that goal so close to the end of play?” The producer of their ‘Behind the Matildas’ youtube series asked.

“Yeah it was crazy. I mean I was very much expecting it to bounce off that post or for Sheridan to push it away, but it was a big relief when it did go in.” She laughed softly. “I think at that point a lot of people thought it would end in Canada’s favour, but I knew we had a few more minutes in us. And keeping our spirits up so late in the game can be hard but when you’ve only been on the pitch for like 15 minutes, there’s a little extra fight and determination to turn it around so late.” She smiled at the camera. 

“Thanks.” The filming stopped and the crew nodded at her, indicating she was done. She muttered a quick thanks and walked off to be with her team. 

“You owe me a coffee.” An arm fell onto her shoulder and the voice of Kyra got close to Astrid. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you one tomorrow.” Astrid rolled her eyes at the older girl, bringing her own arm to rest on Kyra's shoulder as they walked down the tunnel. “But you realise I was also right.” She turned to her with a smirk.

“About what?” Kyra asked, confused to what she was talking about. 

“I told you last night that you would start today. And I was right.” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I guess you were then.” Kyra smiled at the younger girl, pulling her into her side as they headed for the change room. 

Only two days later and the team had touched down last night in Sydney for match day-1, currently heading to the newly rebuilt Allianz Stadium for their training session. Astrid’s parents had secured tickets to come see her play in person for the first time since her final Sydney FC game and she could not be more excited to see them again, this now being the longest she’s been away from them.

The team piled into the changeroom and began to get ready for their warm up, all watching as Alanna set up a speaker in the middle of the room, confused as to what the defender may be putting on. 

The intro to ‘My Heart Will Go On’ begins to play and the room erupts in laughter at the song choice. Instantly everyone begins singing along, Alanna beginning a piece of interpretive dance to the song.  

“Once more, you open the door!” Their captain sings into a water bottle in front of the camera. 

“YOU’RE HERE! THERE’S NOTHING I FEAR.” The room sings, the loudest singing now coming from Astrid who was standing on her cubby bench, gesturing with passion to Kyra next to her who was laughing at her antics. 

“Get down child.” Macca yells at Astrid who pouts and jumps down, putting her cleats on as the song dies down and their regular playlist begins to play, Sam dragging the speaker with her as they leave the room to walk to the pitch. 

Training had concluded, Alanna was already ruled out from the last game and now Steph was a worry too, her hamstring issue from the other day still not 100%. 

“Let’s bring it in everyone, staff as well.” Tony called and the team had now assembled into a small circle at the edge of the pitch, some sitting and stretching, others having a drink break after a scrimmage. “Er, have to say, I love what I saw out there today. How you took ownership for your performance, how you communicated. I loved what I saw.” He smiled at the girls. “Let’s show what we’re about tomorrow in that game. And to make sure we have memory from that, let’s get together really quick so Ann can grab a photo of us all in the sun on the pitch. Just a quick picture.” Everyone began standing up and moving to open space on the pitch. 

“Viney, help me please.” Astrid looked up at Cortnee with her arms out. 

“Fine.” The older girl grabbed her hands and pulled her up fast. 

“Thanks.” She put her arm over the forward’s shoulder, walking with her to where the group had gathered, both plopping down to the ground where there was a gap between Lydia and Kyra. “Ooo I get to be next to Kyra!” She placed her head on Kyra’s shoulder with a smile. 

“Alright, everyone in.” Ann shouted to catch everyone's attention. The shutter of cameras going off. “Thankyou.”

“Ann, get in on one.” Tony called out. 

“Run!” Astrid yelled and everyone laughed, cheering Ann on as she ran over to the group quickly. 

“Yes, Ann!” Sam clapped as she slotted in. More photos were taken and as soon as the photographer gave them a thumbs up they all jumped up. 

The next day rolled around quickly and before they knew it, the starting line ups were making their way onto the pitch. The energy in the stadium was crazy, so many people were there to watch the Matildas and you could feel their passion radiating down to the players. 

The game kicked off with Emily Van Egmond and although Canada took possession pretty easily, it didn’t take long until it was back to the Matildas. A magical passing sequence between Cortnee, Sam and Mary and within two and a half minutes Mary had opened the scoring with a magnificent goal. The girls on the pitch and the bench cheered, the crowd was maybe the loudest it’s ever been. 

They went into halftime, up 1-0 and spirits a lot higher than the last game, having a stronger defence and the forwards plenty of shots on target but just falling short or being stopped by Canada’s goalkeeper. 

“Astrid.” Tony called her over as the players made their way to the changerooms for the break, she ran over to him. “Come with me, I’m putting you on for Vine, we need fresh legs.” She simply nodded and followed him to a small room, immediately hopping on a bike to warm up while he spoke about the next half. 

The second half began and Astrid was already on the pitch in the right wing position, ready for the next 45 minutes. It’s not a position she normally plays in but she had to take every chance to be on that pitch and making her mark, especially with World Cup talk looming over their heads.

The whistle blew and they were on. Although the Australian defence was strong it didn’t seem strong enough in those first 10 minutes, Leon scoring two goals within minutes of each other and taking the lead 2-1. Astrid fought hard on that right side, connecting with Charli, Gorry and Mary for shots at goal but again nothing wanted to go in or slot past Sheridan. 

It’s finished here at Allianz Stadium. Matildas 1, Canada 2.

Everyone stood still on the pitch, looking around at the crowd before them, seas of green and gold filling the stands. Astrid was exhausted, that was the longest game she’s played for the Matildas and she could feel it, but she made her rounds and congratulated the opposition and found Kyra, Courtney and Charli. 

“Hey.” Courtney’s voice was soft as she saw Astrid approach them.  

“Hey star.” Charli still managed to smile at her, pulling her into her side with one arm. 

“Hi.” Kyra did the same on the other side, Astrid wrapping her arms around their waists, Courtney tagging on beside Charli. 

“Wanna go find my parents with me?” She looked between them, all silently nodding and beginning to walk together to where friends and family were at the barricades. Her eyes searched for them and they finally landed on 2 of the only people wearing her jersey number. “Mum, dad!” She let go of the girls when she spotted them, waving as she ran to them. 

“Hi my darling.” Her mum, Joanna, looked like she was about to start crying as they hugged over the barrier. “I’m so proud of you.” She whispered into her ear, squeezing her tighter. They let go so she could move and hug her dad.

“Hey sweetie, I’ve missed you.” Her dad, Mark, pulled his daughter close. 

"I've missed you too." She nodded into his shoulder, trying not to cry from both happiness and sadness at being with her parents again. They pulled apart and she turned to the three people standing behind her, waving them to come closer.

"Guys, this is Charli, Courtney and Kyra. The rest of the Sweden Squad." She smiled.

“Thank you for taking care of my girl over there and when you guys are on camp, it means alot to know she’s not alone.” Her mum smiled at the girls whose hearts had swelled up. 

“Of course, she’s our stargirl.” Charli donned her signature smile, pulling Astrid into her side and holding Courtney close to her other side. 

“She’s in completely safe hands.” Kyra added herself onto the other girls, squeezing all of them together. 

“Totally.” Courtney put on her best smile, nodding along.

“I don’t know about that.” Astrid laughed with Charli, Kyra and Courtney’s jaws dropping. 

“We are perfectly responsible adults and we’ve kept you alive so far. Making sure you're fed and watered. So…” Kyra pointed out, Courtney nodding along in agreement.

“I’m not a plant.” Astrid emphasised. 

“I didn’t say you were. But we did take care of you while you were injured.” Kyra argued back, the people surrounding laughed at her and Kyra’s interaction. 

“Alright you two. We better get going before you rip each other's heads off or Tony does for taking too long.” Charli intervened finally, pushing some distance between the pair. 

“It was lovely meeting you ladies, and well done on the game today, you all played wonderfully.” Joanna smiled at the older girls who surrounded her daughter. 

“Love you, mum.” Astrid hugged her again, squeezing her tight. “I’ll talk to you soon okay?” She pulled away and moved over to her dad. 

“You make me so proud. I love you.” Mark reached over the barrier, placing a kiss on her head before they parted. “Go on.” He nodded to where the team was beginning to disappear down the tunnel. 

“Bye.” They all spoke in unison, waving goodbye to the couple, Charli wrapping her arm around Astrid who donned a sad look on her face. 

Astrid was beyond grateful these girls had come into her life, especially while living so far away from her family, they became her family. The rest of the team had become her family too but the Sweden squad was something else, something special. 

to be continued...

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part five]

Words; 2.8k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

Warnings; swearing

masterlist

Astrid was beyond happy to be back home with her family. Although she had learnt over the years to be more independent and happy on her own while away on national camps and now with Sydney FC, she always missed her parents and tried to spend as much time with them as she could when she came home. 

Over the week she made sure to catch up with her extended family who lived close by, visiting her old club and teammates and spending plenty of time at the beach even though it was nearing winter time. 

Of course she kept up with her training and fitness even though she was technically on a break, knowing that even a small falter could impact her chance of a spot in the squad on the next camp. So even while she was out of her regular environment, she kept up with her routine; wake up, go for a run, have a smoothie, go to the gym, do a bit of training on a pitch with her dad and then have the day to spend catching up with the people she loved. 

Astrid loved being back home with everyone for the week, but a small part of her missed the life she had created for herself in Sydney, finding solace in having a space to herself. So after saying her goodbyes to her friends and family, she began the drive back, obviously playing Taylor Swift the whole way. 

She had only been driving for 30 minutes when her music was interrupted by a phone call from Lisa, her agent. 

“Hey Lisa.” Astrid spoke after answering the call. 

“Hey Astrid, how you doing?” Lisa asked. 

“Yeah I’m good, just on my way back to Sydney now. How are you?” Astrid was a little confused at the phone call but maybe she had something important to tell her.

“Nice. Yeah I’m good.” Lisa paused. “I know I’ve been M.I.A for a little bit, sorry, but I’ve got a few updates for you.” She added. 

“Oh okay. Yeah?” Astrid had been waiting for Lisa to get in contact with her for a while.

“Okay, so first up, next Matildas camp. They’ve set up two games against Spain and Portugal, and though no squad announcement or calls have been made, I’m feeling hopeful for you. Mainly because of your recent performances and the fact a lot of senior players won’t be joining.” Lisa informed her and Astrid felt a smile grow on her face. 

“Those games will be good and yeah, hopefully.” Astrid responded, waiting for Lisa to continue. 

“Second; club season.” Lisa paused.

“Yep.” Astrid grew nervous, having waited a while to hear anything since the season finished.

“Sydney FC have put in an offer for you to sign on with them again for the 2022/23 season which is great, you know everything and everyone there. And we know how much you can succeed there.” Astrid let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve also been contacted by some international teams… if you are interested.” Lisa added on. 

“Wait, are you serious? Who-what? Like what? They-who's interested?” Astrid sputtered out, heart stopping at the mention of international offers. 

“Well as you know, recently the Swedish League has picked up a lot of Australian players. A lot of who you are friends with in the Matildas. We've gotten two offers from two different clubs over there which is really incredible for you and really, really great for the Matildas as well.” Lisa was feeling a lot of pride in the young athlete as they talked about her first professional contract now that she was 18.  

“What this is crazy. Like who was- who's interested because that's, that's incredible.” Astrid was smiling widely, trying to concentrate on the road ahead of her while listening to the agent.  

“We've had offers come through from FC Rosengård where Charli and Teagan play. And also from Hammarby IF where Kyra and Courtney have just signed which is really great for you. I think your friends over there may have put in a good word, not that they needed to with your talent.” Astrid’s jaw dropped at this. 

“Okay.” Was all she could respond to Lisa with, this was crazy.

“I know this is a tough decision obviously, and this is just me telling you the information. You haven’t even seen any of the paperwork or what they are explicitly offering, so I have emailed them to you, and when you're back in Sydney take a look and have a think. They've given you a little while to decide, but their season has already started so I think they want to know as soon as possible.” Lisa paused. 

“Yeah, okay.” Astrid was brought back down from her excitement high, realising she would have to decide soon if she was ready to move overseas or stay at home in Sydney.

“Look, I know this is a big thing, especially because moving to a new country so young, it's a big decision for you and your family as well. But I really think that this could be really good for your career. This could also be the next step into getting over to the WSL which I know is your dream.” Lisa was right. Playing in the WSL, especially Arsenal, was her life goal and this could be a leg up. “I'll let you ponder and when you get home, take a while to read these offers.”

“Yeah of course.” Astrid’s mind had already begun to spin. 

“Don’t forget about the Sydney FC one as well, if that's something you’re wishing to continue, you know I am happy for you. It’s something you're used to, you've made relationships with people there and had a great season. But you've also got relationships with people who are in this Swedish league as well, so I'll let you think and get back to me in the next few days hopefully.” Lisa finished.

“I will.” Astrid nodded to herself, shaking her head to pause her spiralling thoughts until she got back to Sydney.

“Take care Astrid, speak to you soon.” Lisa said before Astrid bid her goodbye and they hung up. That’s a lot to think about.

Astrid got back to her apartment, immediately dropping her bags and pulling out her laptop, bringing up the emails Lisa had sent her. When she finally saw the offers she believed it, and a tear sprung to her eye, her lips curling into a small smile. She had finally proved herself as a footballer. 

Just 18 years old and she had received international contracts. She couldn’t believe it. Mary had moved overseas and joined Montpellier a few years ago at 17 so she knew it was possible to be at that level so young, but she never thought it would be a possibility for her.

She hadn’t even read over the offers before instantly thinking about all the time she would spend with Kyra and Courtney or Charli and Teagan at either club, how much fun they could have in a new country together. But then her mood changed at the thought of leaving home, leaving Sydney FC and Cortnee, especially having created such a strong relationship with her and the team over the past 5 months. She didn’t know what to do, and she didn’t want to decide alone. But before she did anything, she needed to read the offers she was presented. 

Sydney FC had only offered her another one year contract with a decent sum, obviously unaware other clubs had gained wind of her success and thought that she would stay on with them for a bit longer. FC Rosengård had also offered her a one year contract with a higher sum in an attempt to buy her out of Sydney FC, and by joining them she would be with Charli, her best friend. The best looking offer, according to Lisa in her email, came from Hammarby IF. They had offered a two year contract with the most amount of money, which didn’t matter that much to Astrid right now, and said they would help her in finding housing, transport and other necessities to get her on their team. Joining them would also mean joining Kyra and Courtney who were also just starting out over there. 

Her thoughts began racing again, this time allowing it unlike in the car. Do I really want to leave? Am I ready to? Am I really good enough for these clubs? Why don’t Sydney FC fight for me more?

Her breathing became a little more rapid and her chest tightened like it does when she feels a panic attack forming. The best way to stop it in the past has been to talk to someone, letting them talk her through it and calm her down. 

Logically the first person to call about this would be her parents, especially because she normally runs straight to them when she has any sort of major problem or news. But her first thought was to call one of her found sisters, Cortnee. 

After a few rings, the older girl finally picked up. 

“Hello?” Cortnee’s voice came through Astrid’s phone. 

“Hey Viney.” Her voice came out shaky, she tried to conceal it as best she could. 

“Hey, what’s up? You okay?” Cortnee furrowed her brows while sitting on her own couch with her partner Charlotte.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just-” Astrid cut herself off, deciding whether it was a good idea to call her. 

“Astrid?” Cortnee called out after a few seconds of silence. 

“Sorry, it’s stupid. I shouldn’t have bothered you.” Astrid shook her head, walking around her small kitchen.

“Hey, stop. Are you still back home or your place yet?” Cortnee was becoming increasingly worried, jumping up from her couch quickly, Charlotte watching with concern.

“I just got back to mine.” Astrid simply answered her. 

“Okay. Do you need to talk about something?” Cortnee asked softly, trying to get an answer out of her. 

“Sorta, yeah.” Astrid breathed slowly, trying to stop her panic from growing. 

“Do you want to do it on the phone? Or would in person be better?” Cortnee looked down at Charlotte who was confused, she mouthed ‘Astrid’ to her and Charlotte nodded in understanding. She had watched their sibling relationship grow while training with them at Sydney FC, glad Astrid knew someone while settling into the new environment all those months ago. 

“I don’t know.” She paused to think. “Maybe in person… only if you’re not busy, it’s not that urgent.” Astrid rushed out, feeling bad to drag Cortnee from anything. 

“No, it’s okay.” Cortnee looked down at Charlotte, silently asking if it was okay to go over; of course she nodded yes. “I’ll be there in a bit.” 

“Okay, thank you.” Astrid breathed out. She hung up the phone and closed her laptop, not wanting to stare at the offers again until Cortnee was there. 

10 minutes later and Cortnee was in Astrid’s kitchen, making them some tea before walking back over to Astrid on the couch. They hadn’t really spoken yet, besides greeting each other and Cortnee telling her to go sit down. 

“So, what’s going on?” The older girl asked, passing a cup to Astrid. She took a sip and a deep breath before talking, placing her cup down. 

“Lisa called me while I was on my way home today.” She eventually lifted her eyes to Cortnee. “Sydney have offered me another contract for next year.” She bit her lip. 

“Hey! That’s amazing.” Cortnee was visibly proud and happy and that’s what made Astrid’s heart sink again; how could she ever leave her? Cortnee could see she wasn’t as excited as her. “Or not?” She put her own cup down. 

“I also got offers from two other clubs,” Astrid finally spoke again, Cortnee listening intently. “In Sweden.” Cortnee’s jaw dropped. 

“OH MY GOD!” She smiled widely with pride and leapt forward to hug the young girl gently. “That’s fucking incredible.” Astrid let out a small laugh at Cortnee’s excitement. “Who with?” 

“Rosengård and Hammarby.” Astrid smiled softly. 

“Oh the girls will be so happy, have you told them?” Cortnee asked. Astrid shook her head and her smile faltered. “What’s wrong?” Astrid bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop herself from crying.

“I don’t know what to do.” Astrid quickly wiped a tear that fell from her eye, Cortnee raising an eyebrow to prompt her to keep talking. “I don’t know if I’m ready. I mean I’ve only been in the A-League since November, not even a year nationally. What if I can’t keep up over there?” She began expressing her overgrowing thoughts. “And I’m only just 18, like making an international move is a big thing. And I’ve begun making a life here in Sydney with you and the girls. I would feel bad for leaving you because you’ve given me so much.” Astrid’s tears fell as she finally broke down. Cortnee’s heart broke at seeing her like this, she had only ever seen Astrid cry from happiness. 

“Come here.” Cortnee beckoned her closer, pulling her into her side. “This is a massive opportunity for you and your career. The Swedish league is one of the best. It can really help you become a better player. Just look at the improvement Charli and Teag’s have had since moving over there.” She began to comfort the girl. “And as for Sydney FC, you could stay with who and what you know, but you don’t have to.” She rubbed her hand up and down Astrid’s shoulder.

“But you do.” Astrid looked up at Cortnee. 

“Because that’s what I want to do. I’ve had international club offers come to me but SydFC is the place for me. Doesn’t mean it’s the place for you.” Cortnee was trying to encourage the younger player to try new things. “I have full faith in you and your talent, and you can definitely keep up over there. I mean, you scored two goals in your only two national team games. Like that’s just fucking crazy.” Cortnee shook Astrid who began to laugh.

“Thanks.” Astrid muttered before thinking. “So you’re not mad that I could be moving to Sweden?” 

“Of course not. I’m so happy for you.” She pulled her in for a hug. “If it’s what you really want to do, then go for it.” She let go and they looked at each other. 

“Okay.” She nodded to herself, eyes falling to her kitchen island. Astrid stood and collected the laptop before sitting back down and pulling up the offers. “Help me pick?” Astrid smiled at Cortnee who nodded and began reading the offers. 

After a while of seriously considering all the offers and what the clubs were like, Astrid had almost made her decision. She didn’t say it out loud to Cortnee yet, telling her she wanted to talk to her parents first and thanking her for coming over but to get back to Charlotte at home. 

That night she called her parents and told them about the offers. They were over the moon, so proud of what their not-so little girl had achieved so quickly. They were also scared and had a long, extensive talk with Astrid about the possibility of moving overseas, which was a difficult one to have. The conversation felt very similar to the one they had when she moved an hour away for Sydney FC, but on a much larger scale of course. She may be an adult now but she was still their child and wanted to know she would be safe when they couldn’t be there.

She still had a little while to decide and pick the offer that worked best for her and what would benefit her career the most but she felt she needed to decide quickly before she thought about it too much and did the wrong thing. 

So that night she texted her best friends. 

the best tillies 💚💛

Ky Ky 🪁

Cha Cha 💃

Nevy 🙉

Starry ⭐️

Starry ⭐️

hey guys

got a question for ya

Nevy 🙉

yes????

Ky Ky 🪁

I might have an answer…

Depends 

Cha Cha 💃

WOW

Actually using this chat besides sending 50 million tiktoks

Starry ⭐️

Wow Charlotte

How kind of you

Cha Cha 💃

Hurry up

Starry ⭐️

Moving on from your rudeness…

Do you guys know of any good coffee shops in Sweden?

You know how I need coffee to function every morning

especially before training

Nevy 🙉

WHAT THE FUCK

Ky Ky 🪁

NO WAY

Cha Cha 💃

ARE YOU FINALLY MOVING TO SWEDEN BITCH?!?!?!

Starry ⭐️

So is that a yes?

To be continued….

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. | Emily Prentiss x GN!reader

Prequel to ‘Welcome Home Kiss’.

Summary; Emily’s past life has finally been revealed and it’s time to get her back. But when they don’t have her anymore Y/N finds it difficult. 

Pairing; Emily Prentiss x GN!reader, platonic!BAU team x GN!reader

Warnings; descriptions of blood/gore, heartbreak, mentions of ED, smoking, swearing (so much angst omg)

Words; 2.5k

No one is permitted to steal, copy or reblog my work as their own!!

Gif is not mine, @imagining-in-the-margins. (couldn’t find one from Emily’s funeral)

Between discovering Emily’s past life as Lauren Reynolds and finding the location of the warehouse Ian was now holding Emily, a whirlwind of emotions flowed through Y/N. Sadness, anger, disappointment and most of all worry. They were so scared for their lover; Was she okay? Was she hurt? Was she strong enough to fight back? These were all questions that flowed through their mind as they drove to the warehouse. 

After a lot of debating, Y/N had joined Derek alongside SWAT officers on their search of the building. They had already taken care of the guards out the front and now they were weaving their way through the building silently. 

*crash* 

Y/N’s ears pricked up at the loud noise coming from the building, it was close. Without hesitation Y/N took off running ahead of Derek, all logic leaving their mind as they ran to the source of the noise. 

“Y/N.” Emily managed to whisper out through the pain when she spotted them. 

“No.” A soft gasp came from Y/N’s lips as she spotted Emily lying on the ground with a wooden stake poking out of her. They ran to her, cradling her head in their hands. “Emily?” They whispered, tears pricking at their eyes. Seconds later Derek came running in, jumping down to Emily’s side. 

“I got her! I got her in the basement on the south side. I need a medic.” He spoke into his comms, the noise carrying through to everyone on the outside. “Prentiss.” He called out grabbing her hands, soft sobs coming from Y/N next to him. “Hey, it’s me. I’m right here. You’re gonna be alright.” Emily’s eyes flutter open and closed, she’s fading fast. Y/N couldn’t do anything but hold their lover’s head, watching her.

“Stay with me, baby. Come on, stay with me.” Derek panicked watching her. 

“Let me go.” Emily breathed out feeling the blood drain from her. 

“No, no. I am not letting you go.” Derek protested. “Help us!” He shouted into the large space, hoping someone would hear him. Looking back at her his heart shattered. “Listen to me. I know why you did all of this. I know what you did for Declan.” Derek tried to get Emily’s attention back but it wasn't working. “I’m so proud of you.” He spoke with grit. “You understand that? I am proud of you because you are my friend, and you are my partner.” His voice gets shaky. They both notice her eyes closing again. “No, Emily!”

“Baby, come on, stay with us.” Y/N’s voice cracked. “Don’t leave me like this.” Y/N stroked Emily’s hair like they always do. “We have our future planned out, you and me against the world, right?.” Tears dripped down their face as they shook their head. 

“If you can hear us, please just squeeze my hand.” Derek gripped onto Emily’s hand, suddenly feeling a gentle squeeze from her. “Yes, there you go. There you go, baby. Just keep squeezing.” He held her hands tightly and within seconds the medics showed up. Derek pulled himself and Y/N away from Emily, holding them tightly in his arms. 

They watched as the medics put her on a stretcher, carrying her out of the warehouse. They followed closely behind, walking in what felt like slow motion. Derek had to guide Y/N out, holding them in his grasp as they met the team outside. Y/N was in shock, every noise was muffled as they walked to the SUV, Derek slipping in beside them. All they could do was stare at whatever was in front of them, eventually getting out of the car and following the team when they reached the hospital. 

They sat in a chair in the corner for what felt like hours or days. Rossi, Hotch and Garcia tried to talk to them but they couldn’t respond, staring at the floor, legs bouncing uncontrollably.  

Eventually JJ walked over to the team, catching everyone’s attention, even Y/N’s, causing them to lift their head. The first thing they all noticed was her red eyes. 

“No.” Garcia was the first to speak, shaking her head as she began to sob. JJ swallowed. 

“She never made it off the table.” JJ finally spoke, breathing deeply. 

Y/N’s body froze, blocking out all the background noise and falling back into shock. 

The love of their life was dead. Gone. They didn’t move, they couldn’t. They were paralysed as their heart shattered into a million pieces. They looked down at their hands, still stained red with her blood. They stayed silent, still, ignoring her friends around her grieving. They didn’t know how long they sat there, staring at their hands but eventually a hand grabbed their shoulder. 

“Kiddo,” Rossi softly spoke. “Come on, you’re coming home with me.” He pulled them up from their seat by the shoulders, wrapping his arm around their shoulders. They didn’t speak, they couldn’t. Somehow they made their way to the car and eventually inside Rossi’s house. He brought them into the guest room without a word and helped them into bed. He pulled the covers up and stroked their hair. 

“Rossi,” They finally spoke, still staring at the wall in front of them. He was just about to leave the room but sat back down on the bed. “Tell me this is all just a bad dream.” Their voice cracked as they spoke, looking up at the man who treated them like his own. He hesitated, not knowing what to say. 

“It’ll be okay, I promise.” He leant down and pressed a kiss to their head, holding their hand. He stood up again and left the room, leaving the door open just in case. They didn’t fall asleep for a while, staring at the wall emotionless until exhaustion finally kicked in. This is where they stayed for the next few days, only taking water from Rossi when he forced them to drink. They didn’t eat, they barely slept, spending most of the time staring at the wall, or the ceiling, or the empty spot in the bed that they sometimes shared with Emily. 

Within days they held a funeral for Emily. And it was the hardest day of Y/N’s life. They got up and Rossi took them to their apartment so they could get dressed. It was a sunny day, Y/N felt this was wrong for a funeral. They didn’t speak to anyone, not when they carried her coffin with their teammates, not when Hotch asked them if they wanted to say a few words, and not even when Penelope approached them. It was hard enough being there, burying their best friend, their lover and who was supposed to be their life partner. Talking to anyone was an extra effort they couldn’t do. 

Only 6 days after her death, everyone was expected back at work. Y/N didn’t show up that first Monday. After the funeral no one heard from them, calls going to voicemail and texts staying on delivered. They had cut off all communication from their team, instead staying locked in their apartment, moving themselves from their bed, to the couch and back to the bed. They still weren’t eating, only drinking water to stay alive, not that they felt they had much to live for anymore. 

During that first week back the team had a case, heading to Portland quickly and leaving Penelope behind in her tech lab. Every day between 5 and 6 pm a quick knock would appear on their door, followed by the sweet voice of Penelope Garcia would flow through the wood, asking if they were alright but never receiving an answer. It wasn’t till Thursday night when she came by again that she became seriously concerned for Y/N’s health, spotting the full containers of food she had left them at the door 2 days prior. 

“Y/N? Please answer the door. I just want to help you.” Penelope called through the door, face painted with concern. After minutes of silence she called Derek who had just gotten back from their case, telling him to get over here asap. He was there within 5 minutes.

“Y/L/N!” He yelled through the wood. “If you don’t open the door I’m going to kick it in.” He waited, hoping it would open and their face would appear but when it didn’t, he had no choice but to get it open himself. He kicked the door open with force, walking strongly into their apartment, searching the kitchen and living room for them. Penelope ran into their bedroom, gasping loudly when she finally spotted them. They were passed out in the bed, 2 times smaller than when she last saw them and barely breathing. Derek rushed in, checking their pulse to find that it was thready and weak. He picked them up bridal style, carrying them out of the apartment and down to his car, Penelope close behind. 

When they woke up again, all they heard was beeping and hushed voices close by. They opened their eyes to a dark room with brighter lights coming from a hallway outside. 

“Wha- where-” They sat up quickly, heart racing at the unfamiliar environment, turning to their right when they felt a soft hand touch their own. Penelope’s sweet face had a beaming smile plastered but glassy, red eyes showed that she was crying previously. 

“You’re in the hospital.” She calmed them down, looking over to the other corner where Derek was standing against the wall. “We found you in your apartment, you-” Her voice cut off, tears fell down her face. 

“You were barely breathing Y/N. The doctors said you hadn’t eaten anything in over a week.” Derek moved to the end of the bed, staring Y/N deep in the eyes. They felt terrible, creating more stress and worry for the team after the past 2 weeks. 

“I’m sorry.” Y/N dropped their head in shame. 

“It’s okay.” Penelope placed a soft finger under their chin, making them look up at her. “We’re here to help you, you know that right?” She spoke softly. They nodded their head in response, travelling their eyes over to Derek. 

It was another week of rest at home, along with supplements to help Y/N get nutrients back into their body before they were allowed back at work. When they did return they were made to have a conversation with Strauss, discussing their prolonged absence before they were dismissed and cleared for the field.

“Y/L/N.” Hotch’s voice carried through the bullpen. Y/N looked up from their desk and towards his office. He was standing in the doorway, motioning his head and indicating for them to come up. They sighed, dropping their pen and standing up. They knew what it was about, Emily. The rest of the team had already had their conversations with Hotch, discussing their feelings and Y/N was the last to go in. They were trying to avoid it ever since returning to work, hiding away from his view everytime he walked past, but it was inevitable. They walked up the stairs and into his office, closing the door and meeting him on the couch. 

“Y/N.” They didn’t look at him, keeping their lips sealed shut. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and genuine. Their focus remained trained on the floor, legs beginning to bounce from anxiety. They took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears and emotion. 

“I don’t want to do this.” They whispered, shaking their head. “I can’t.” They sighed. 

“Why not?” He sounded like a therapist, voice laced with concern for the agent. They bit their bottom lip, shaking their head again. More tears began to rise in their eyes. 

“Because-” Y/N turned their head to look at their boss. “Because if I do then it becomes real. I don’t want it to be real. I want her to walk through those doors like it was all some big joke.” They looked out at the glass doors. “But she won’t.” Their voice cracked, tears finally falling. “She’s gone, and I-I can’t do this without her Hotch.” They stood abruptly, pacing back and forth. “I’m not me. I’m not who I was. I-I’m broken.” They stopped, staring down at Hotch. 

“You’re not broken, Y/N.” He stood, meeting their eyes.

“Yes, I am. I haven’t cried, I-I can’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I can’t breathe.” Y/N looked at him. 

“You’re not broken, you’re grieving.” He spoke calmly. “You’re allowed to grieve, Y/N.” He explained. 

“I don’t want to.” They shook their head again, hands clutching at their chest. “I held her in my arms, she was breathing.” They were back in the warehouse, holding Emily in their lap as she began to fade.  “I loved her so much.” They look up at their boss, their friend, and their heart shatters again. 

“I know, I know you did.” He stepped closer to them, wrapping his arms around their shoulders, enveloping them in a hug for the first time ever. They sobbed into his chest, not caring about the unprofessional nature of it, he wasn’t the big bad boss right now. He was their friend and he was comforting a friend in a difficult time. 

The sobs slowed and their breathing evened out, Hotch letting go of them.

“Thank you.” Y/N looked up at him, smiling slightly. “Would it be okay if I left a bit early today? There’s somewhere I need to be.” Hotch nodded in response, understanding their situation. 

When they left the office, they headed to the cemetery for the first time since the funeral. The walk from the car to her grave was tough, taking one step at a time. When they reached her headstone they sat on the grass in front, staring at her name engraved in stone. 

“Hey baby.” They smiled. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit yet, it’s been hard.” They sighed. Then they reached into their coat pocket, digging around for what had become their current habit. They pulled out a lighter and pack of cigarettes, lighting one in their mouth. They took a deep breath and puffed out the smoke, blowing it into the cool wind. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about this.” They joked to her headstone. “Picked up a very old habit from high school, you’d probably hate it and throw it out if you could.” Their face dropped with their words. 

“I miss you.” They spoke again after a minute of silence. “Like a lot.” They took another hit of their cigarette. “It’s hard doing this without you. Life that is. I don’t even remember how I did it before I met you, but I guess I’m going to have to figure it out aren’t I?” They smiled painfully. They sat in silence at her grave for a while, waiting until their cigarette was nothing but a nub. This might have been the first time visiting her grave, but it wasn’t the last. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Feels || Alessia Russo

Alessia Russo x Reader

Summary: Five times you and Alessia soft launched yourselves on social media, and one time you two hard launched your relationship.

Warnings: Maybe a tad bit of angst and a lot of tooth-rotting fluff & comfort

Word count: 7k words

A/N: I don't really know if this makes sense, but I liked it and decided to share it. An Alessia fic was requested second-most to an Alexia fic, so here it is.

1. Festival Dates, Ferris Wheels, & The Feels

Sometimes, rumors were a pain in the ass. Today, however, you’d never appreciated your teams’ gossiping tendencies more. It had come to your attention during shooting drills with the one and only Katie McCabe that one of Arsenal’s latest signings, Alessia Russo, had a crush on you. Unbeknownst to anyone but Katie, it was a crush that you returned. 

You’d always been rather confident in yourself and so, with this new piece of intel, you took it upon yourself to ask Alessia out. Alessia had readily agreed, but now the stress fell onto you to figure out just where the two of you could spend a few hours getting to know each other. Yet again, you consulted the person who had gotten everything started, who also happened to be your best friend. You and Katie had spent several hours plotting for the big day, finally deciding upon what to do. You texted Alessia and told her that you’d be picking her up from her house and giving her a specific time. 

The day came along, and after you finished up team training, you came back to your apartment and showered before leaving to go pick up Alessia. On the way, you bought the gifts that you had debated (at great length, honestly) with Katie on getting, having been nervous that getting the blonde gifts on a first date would be too forward or too overwhelming for the other woman. McCabe had reassured you several times that you would be fine, however. 

While you were borderline terrified, given how things had ended with your ex-girlfriend, you still found yourself making the drive over to Alessia’s. Your last relationship hadn’t gone well, and you didn’t know if you were ready to love or to accept love again, something was always in the back of your mind nagging at you– what if you got hurt again? 

As you stood on Alessia’s front step, holding a bouquet of flowers, you noticed that your hands shook due to nerves. As you raised your hand to knock, you felt yet another wave of nerves crash over you, nearly dropping your gifts just as Alessia opened the door. Alessia poked her head out, grinning wildly at you. 

“Hey, Y/N! You look amazing.” And just like that, the nerves and all of those negative thoughts were gone. An aura of calmness radiated from the other woman, transferring over onto you, and you held out the roses for the other woman to take with a small smile. 

“Hi, Lessi. You look– gorgeous,” You nearly stumbled over your words as you took the other woman in. You’d instructed her to dress casually, and it was simply amazing how Alessia could take the words right from your mouth in just a pair of jeans paired and a simple white top. 

“Thank you. For everything, honestly– you certainly didn’t have to get me these!” She held up the flowers, taking a second to smell them as she grinned before taking a step back into her apartment. “I’m just going to put these in a vase, you’re more than welcome to come in.”

You took a step into the house, closing Alessia’s front door behind yourself as Alessia walked away to go take care of the flowers. You could have followed, but chose to take a moment to calm your racing heart, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. To be perfectly honest, you’d been dreaming of this day ever since you’d first set eyes on the blonde forward. You’d first met her in 2021, facing off against her in your first ever WSL appearance as you played for Arsenal against Manchester City. 

You’d struggled back and forth with Alessia the entire game, as you were a defender. Arsenal had pulled away with a win, but at the end of the match you had gone up to Alessia to formally meet her, asking to exchange jerseys. That wouldn’t be the last time you’d formally speak with her, as the two of you would be matched up in several more games afterward. You’d never thought your crush would ever come to see the light of day, but here you were, standing on the welcoming mat of Alessia Russo’s apartment, waiting for her to put the bouquet you’d gifted her in a vase. 

It didn’t take long before Alessia returned to you, and by then you’d calmed yourself down enough to make conversation without stuttering over the words. As you two got to your car, and all throughout the drive to the destination you’d picked out, the two of you kept up a conversation. You talked about everything from football to your favorite breakfast foods to Lessi’s UNC days, with you wondering what the extended duration in the United States had been like. Every once in a while, Alessia would ask you where the two of you were going, but you’d always give her a teasingly inconspicuous answer. 

“You’re not secretly taking me to a scary alley and murdering me, right?” Alessia joked at one point, causing you to tilt your head towards her and waggle your eyebrows, rewarding you with Alessia’s giggles. 

Finally, the two of you arrived at the gates of a festival just as the sun was beginning to set. You paid for your tickets and spent the evening chatting with Alessia on your arm, playing festival games, eating some different foods, and sharing jokes and laughter. At one point, you ended up winning a small stuffed bear, which you immediately gifted to Alessia with a smile and a bow, yet again resulting in Alessia giggling, a noise which you were beginning to associate as the eighth wonder of the world. Nearing the end of your night, Alessia convinced you to ride the ferris wheel with her, despite your fear of heights. 

As the two of you neared the top, you couldn’t help but shift closer to Alessia, nervously taking in your distance from the ground. Noticing your slight distress, Alessia brought one of her arms around your shoulders and tugged you into her side, grabbing your hand and holding it in hers with her other arm. You looked at her with a smile, which Alessia returned. Festival music carried on in the background, a song which you faintly recognized as “The Feels” by the Labrinth playing. A small draft of wind had picked up, the heat of the woman beside you keeping you from becoming too chilled. 

“I really enjoyed tonight,” You confessed to the other woman.

“So did I, thank you for bringing me out.” Alessia said back, her breaths brushing across your cheeks due to your close proximity and causing you to blush. Your eyes wandered down to her lips before going back up to her eyes, noticing Alessia looking at your own lips. 

Your fear of heights long forgotten, your heart rate picked up for an entirely different reason as you whispered out, “I’d really like to kiss you right now,”

“Then do it.” Alessia responded, and you brought your free hand up to cup her jaw, closing your eyes as you shifted slightly and guided her lips to your own. Just at that moment, the music in the background picked up as the beat dropped, something that you only faintly picked up on as you were consumed in everything that was Alessia Russo. The kiss was impossibly soft, and the music seemed to pick up at that moment, a song which you faintly picked up on. After a few seconds, the two of you parted, and you beamed at the blue-eyed woman, and she giggled at the giddy expression on your face. Just before the two of you began to move down the ferris wheel, Alessia pulled out her phone and pulled you further into her, for another kiss, capturing the moment with a photo. Parting from you again, she took a picture of the night sky and festival terrain beneath the two of you before quickly pocketing her phone once again. 

“I wanted to capture the moment,” She explained to you, and you just laughed again, bringing her in for a quick peck as the two of you descended back towards the ground. 

Later that night, when you returned home, you opened up your phone to answer Alessia, telling her that you’d made it back to your own apartment safely. 

Opening up Instagram, you saw that Alessia had posted something on her story and opened it, seeing one of the two pictures the woman had taken on the ferris wheel on her story. It was the picture of the sky and the festival, the one that didn’t feature the two of you, which you were grateful for as part of your conversation today had been about keeping what was between the two of you private. As you continued to watch her story, you realized that there was a song playing in the background, the very same one that had played during your first kiss– “The Feels” by Labrinth. Alessia’s attention to detail, and the entire gesture of affection, brought a smile to your face. The smile lasted even as you put down your phone and laid back against your bed, falling asleep to the thoughts of your long-awaited first date with Alessia Russo. 

—--

2. First Meetings, Proud Goals, & Family Dinner

It wasn’t very often that you found yourself in the stands during football matches, but here you were, sitting beside Alessia’s family and watching your girlfriend play on the field in front of you. 

The twist? It was the first time you were formally meeting Alessia’s family without Alessia by your side. 

Having suffered a minor knee injury a few short weeks ago, you’d been unavailable for call ups for the England Lionesses. Instead of watching the match from your apartment couch, Alessia’s family had contacted you and plotted with you to surprise your girlfriend at the match. 

The two of you had been secretly dating for a few months, now, and were still going strong. While the two of you weren’t incredibly obvious, a few of your teammates were beginning to figure out the two of you were a thing. Honestly, you’d just been surprised that McCabe had been able to keep her mouth shut for so long. 

Prior to this, you’d had quick talks with each of Alessia’s parents through the phone when they facetimed or called Alessia while you happened to be there. You’d met one of Alessia’s brothers, Luca, at a match before as well, but the rest of them were completely unfamiliar to you. The entire thing was slightly unconventional, and you’d have rather had Alessia with you when you met the rest of your family, but the Russo family made the entire thing go by quite smoothly, to your surprise. 

As adorable as the entire situation was, you’d never been so nervous in your entire life, and you’d played in the World Cup! As you’d greeted Alessia’s parents and siblings outside of the stadium, you’d been surprised to be pulled into hugs by each of them. It had been a surprisingly warm welcome, making all the worrying that you’d been doing over meeting her family for the first time, alone, seem all for nought. You were sat at the end of the aisle, next to Alessia’s father, Mario, who kept nudging you to keep up a steady flow of conversation, much to your entertainment. 

All throughout the match, Alessia’s family showed you baby pictures of Less, some of which you asked them to send to you. They told you stories of Alessia as a teenager and as a child, and you felt it was only fair to share some of your own. 

At halftime, the Lionesses were up by 3. As Alessia turned to head back to the locker rooms, she looked up and caught your gaze. You saw her go through several different stages of emotions, ranging from confusion, to surprise, to absolute elation as a huge grin broke across her face and she waved to you eagerly. You waved back, nudging Mario, who was also waving and laughing at his daughter’s facial expressions. 

During the game, you took a few pictures– some of yourself with Alessia’s family members, and a few of the field in front of you. You looked through them before deciding to post one of them on your Instagram story. As you made up the story, you hesitated on how to send a secret message to your lover, as the two of you had been enjoying sending subtle hints and messages through your stories and posts. Smiling a little bit, you put a small red heart in the corner of a picture of the stadium that you had taken earlier. Then, you posted it. 

After that, you pocketed your phone, making the conscious decision to be more present during the match and to soak up the moments with Alessia’s family while you could.

When Alessia scored an absolute banger of a goal, you burst to your feet with the rest of Alessia’s family. Shouting your pride for your secret girlfriend for the world to hear, your voice joined the thousands of those in attendance to watch the Lionesses that day, but yours was the only one that Alessia cared about as she tapped a finger to her chest, tilting her head in your direction as she looked at you in the audience. The moment was incredibly special, smiles on both of your faces. The moment lasted a brief second, but felt like so much longer, before Alessia was embraced by the rest of the Lionesses on the field in a huge group hug, breaking your eye contact. 

At the end of the match, Alessia was making her way around the field, conversing with different people and signing things for fans. Finally, she made it around to you and her family, coming close to give each of you hugs. When her arms reached up and around the barrier to embrace you, she got as close to your face as she could before whispering out, “Hi, baby. Thank you for surprising me.” 

“I’m so proud of you, Lessi.” You whispered back, before letting your girl go to hug the rest of her family members. You all spoke for a few minutes before Alessia had to go to change.

You saw your girlfriend again outside of the stadium, giving her another hug as you all decided to go out to eat together. You shared a nice meal with Alessia and her family for a few hours, enjoying getting to know everyone even more as you and Alessia sat next to each other, surrounded by her family that was slowly beginning to feel like your own. 

That night, as Alessia lay in her own bed in her apartment, she pulled up Instagram and saw that you had posted something on your story. Tapping on your icon, a picture of the field came up on her screen, and it took her a second to notice the red heart in the corner that she knew was meant for her. With a smile, she tapped back onto your story to look at it again before sending you a goodnight text, consciously putting a red heart into her text message before shutting off her phone and falling asleep with a huge, cheesy grin on her face. 

—-- 

3. Chocolates, Flowers, & Bears – Oh my!

As you made your way up the steps to Alessia’s North London apartment, you found yourself reminiscing in a scene similar to this one. Holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, a box of chocolates in the other, and a stuffed bear stuffed beneath your elbow, all of which had been carefully planned out between you and the notorious Katie McCabe. You were reminded of your first date as you rapped on Alessia’s front door with the back of one of your free hands, unable to keep the excited grin from your face. 

It was Valentine’s Day, and you had planned to take Alessia out to a nice dinner, planning to pick her up for a late reservation at her favorite restaurant. For the occasion, you were dressed in black formal wear and had told Alessia to dress nicely as well. As Alessia opened the door, you took her in and your smile fell from your face slightly, an expression of concern replacing it. 

She wore a beautiful, tight-fitting black dress which accentuated her curves and long legs, and for a moment the sight of her took your breath away. Then, you took in her face, and it became very quickly obvious to you that your girlfriend wasn’t feeling it tonight. She had black bags beneath her tired-looking eyes, and her hands fidgeted at her side nervously. You knew that she’d been feeling quite stressed lately, with football and making sure that she was scoring enough goals to satisfy her own standards, which had always been far above anybody else’s. She was her own toughest critic, and it appeared that tonight it was all crashing down on her. 

“Hi, baby. Are you doing okay?” You asked gently, stepping forward. The second you spoke, you saw a tear beginning to form in the corner of Alessia’s eye and your heart broke a little bit at the image. 

“I’m okay. Are you ready to go?” Alessia asked, trying to brush past the fact that she was obviously upset. You shook your head, thinking about how to correctly go about this without bringing up your girlfriends’ feelings, as it seemed like she didn’t want to talk about it and you knew better than to prod at her. 

“Actually, I was hoping we could have a night in?” Your voice was soft and hopeful-sounding, and the second you voiced it a look of relief washed up upon your girlfriends’ face. 

“Yes, please.” She whispered, and you smiled gently. Alessia took a step back to allow you into her home, pushing the door closed behind you.

“Go get changed, baby. I’ll set up the couch for a movie night, how does that sound?” You asked, and Alessia looked at you with such a look of adoration that you nearly melted on the spot. Nodding eagerly, Alessia didn’t think twice before making her way further into her apartment in the direction of her room. While she changed, you kicked your shoes off next to Alessia’s welcome mat before going about setting up Alessia’s living room for a night in. 

You placed the bouquet you’d gotten Alessia in a vase, setting both items on her counter to replace the last bouquet you’d gotten her. You set the chocolates and the stuffed bear on the counter as well before grabbing all of Alessia’s favorite snacks and putting them into bowls, bringing them into the living room and setting them on a table in front of her couch. You went back to the kitchen, grabbing two drink bottles and bringing them back to the living room as well, setting them on the table next to the snacks. Next, you went about preparing the movie.

You specifically remembered Alessia mentioning that she’d never seen the Wizard of Oz during training, despite having the movie on one of her shelves. So, you went about putting that movie on the television before pulling out some blankets and pillows and setting them on the couch. By the time you’d finished, Alessia was coming out of her room. She’d changed into a large sleep shirt and sweatpants with long, fuzzy socks. The second she saw you and what you’d set up, a large smile broke across her face. 

“Thank you, Y/N. It looks very cozy,” Alessia whispered gently, feeling so cared for in the moment that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She’d been so stressed lately that this had been exactly what she’d needed today, and she was so grateful that you’d seemed to sense that. Coming up to you, she gently pecked your lips before handing you a large hoodie of hers and shorts. “Go change, baby. I’ll be right here when you get back!” 

With that, Alessia took several steps backward before plopping herself down on her own couch, looking up at you expectantly when you didn’t budge. You were staring at her, a fond smile on your face. 

“What?” Alessia asked, appearing confused. 

“You’re so beautiful.” You whispered, in awe of the woman before you. A blush rose to Alessia’s cheeks quickly at your words and she shooed you away to go get changed, a smile rising to her face. 

Once you came back, you sat down on the couch and pulled Alessia over to you. Putting your feet up on the couch and laying back, Alessia quickly climbed on top of you and threw her arms around you, resting her head on your chest. You laid one arm on her back, starting the movie before bringing up your other hand to gently card your fingers through her hair the way that you knew calmed her down. 

As the two of you laid there, your hand tracing patterns on her back as the other gently stroked her head, Alessia’s hand crept up your chest and to the open skin of your collarbone, tracing the skin there as she focused on the movie. Just a moment later, she spoke up softly.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Less?” You asked, equally as softly.

“Thank you for this. I’m sorry I ruined your plans, though. I know you worked hard to plan tonight.” She sounded sorry, and you frowned gently, your hand leaving her hair to go to her chin and guide her head upward to look at you. 

“Less, you ruined nothing. There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing right now.” You reassured the other woman, a fond smile replacing the frown on your face as Alessia smiled gently at you.

“I’ll make it up to you. We can do something fancy tomorrow, if you want.” Alessia still felt sorry, and you could tell from both her words and her intonation. Shaking your head, your thumb stroked her cheek gently as you spoke.

“Less, fancy or not, we could be shoveling three-day-old trash and I’d still be happy because I’m with you. You don’t have to make up for anything, love.” Your words seemed to strike a cord in the other woman as she gently leaned further up into you, placing a soft kiss against your lips. You two probably would have kissed for longer if you’d have been able to keep the smile from your face. However, as you smiled into the kiss, Alessia couldn’t fight back her own smile and pulled away, the both of you grinning widely at each other. 

“I love you,” Alessia murmured passionately. “So, so, so much.” 

Your grin became impossibly larger at the other woman’s words– you’d known you’d loved her for a long time, but neither of you had ever said it. “I love you too, Less. So much.” 

The two of you would spend the night together, cuddled up and munching on different snacks. When the movie finished, Alessia invited you to stay the night, which you oh-so-gratefully accepted. That night, you made your small instagram story together. The two of you chose a simple picture of the stuffed bear, flower bouquet, and chocolates that you’d bought Alessia and chose to play “The Feels” over the background of the story, posting it to Alessia’s instagram. 

Turning off your phones for the night, the two of you fell into bed together. Cuddled into each other, you both fell asleep with soft smiles upon each of your faces. 

—--

4. Cookies, Puppy Love, & Keys

A knock came at your door, to which you stood up from your position on your couch to make your way over to the door. Opening it revealed your gorgeous girlfriend in a casual jumper and joggers, and a huge smile broke out across your face. However, your girlfriend barely even looked at you as she squealed out in excitement, scooping the wiggling figure out of your arms rather quickly. 

“Oh my gosh! He’s so adorable!!” Lessi gushed, her beautiful eyes crinkling at the corners as she held up your newly adopted puppy at eye level. You’d named the tiny puppy Jasper, which you thought was an appropriate name for the hyperactive animal. It licked at your girlfriends’ face, causing her to giggle, and you quickly ushered her into the house with a smile, your own laughs gently leaving your mouth at the scene. 

You’d made the decision to buy the puppy as the first of many decisions that month. The second decision was packed into your back pocket, waiting for the perfect moment to be pulled out. You’d invited Less over for your day off of training, having not spent as much time as you would have liked alone with the other woman. 

As your girlfriend continued to giggle at Jasper, who wiggled and barked and licked like all puppies do, a timer beeped and you startled. Alessia turned to look up at you from her newfound position on the floor as Jasper crawled all over her. 

“What was that?” Less asked, and you smiled. 

“I figured we could bake cookies today, if that would be okay with you?” Your voice was unsteady, the nerves of how big the day was for you bleeding into your voice. Alessia’s brows furrowed but she smiled nonetheless, choosing to not make a big deal out of your quaky voice and deciding that you’d tell her if anything was wrong, as was the usual for your relationship of nearly two years. 

“Oh– of course! I’d love to do that!” Alessia said excitedly, and you grinned as Jasper took advantage of her momentary distraction to nip at her fingers, causing Alessia to yelp in surprise and continue on giggling and speaking to the puppy as if he were a human. Amused, you made your way into the kitchen and began going about making the dough for the cookies, figuring your girlfriend would join you when she was ready. Besides, you were more than happy to bake cookies from your spot in the kitchen, which allowed you to watch as Alessia rolled around with Jasper on the ground. 

Jasper continued to pounce and jump all over your girlfriend and, inspired by her giggles and adorable squeaks, you quickly pulled out your phone to snap a picture of the two. 

After a few minutes, Alessia did get up from the ground and make her way over to where you stood at your kitchen counter, your back momentarily turned towards her as you mixed some ingredients together. Taking her chance, the other woman folded her arms around your middle, wrapping you up in a gentle hug from behind and planting a soft kiss against the skin of your neck. 

Turning your head towards your girlfriend, you waited for her to look up to connect your lips. Her hands began to wander, inching below the fabric of your loose-fitting t-shirt to rest against the skin of your stomach, fingers gently digging into your hips as she continued to kiss you. One of her hands wandered to grab at your ass, and you moaned into the kiss, your head falling back as you detached your kiss. Your girlfriend, however, took the initiative to kiss at your neck, gently nipping and sucking but making sure not to leave any visible marks, as the two of you were still quite secretive about your relationship. Your teammates knew, as did your families, but most others were kept in the dark about the two of you.

Alessia continued her assault on your neck, one hand trailing along your behind as her other one trailed up the musculature of your stomach, heading upward to grasp at your chest. Just as the kiss was getting even more heated, a second timer went off, causing you to jump in your girlfriends’ hold. Throughout your kiss, Jasper had also been yipping at the two of you, but everything had seemed to turn to background noise. Now, however, the noises of the kitchen broke past your kiss-drunken haze as you turned in your girlfriends’ hold, pecking her lips quickly before darting over to turn off the timer. Alessia grinned gently, knowing that she’d have plenty of time to continue what she’d begun later. She took up the task that you’d been distracted from, mixing up some ingredients together as you worked to prepare the oven for the cookies. 

As you and Alessia worked together to make cookies, with a couple of kisses thrown in here and there, as well as some love given to Jasper, you could feel your secret weighing you down. Finally, as you set the last tray of cookies down onto a tray to cool off, you looked at your girlfriend. She’d thrown her hair up into a messy bun and the sleeves of her jumper had been rolled up to avoid getting them dirty, and she also had a dash of flour on one of her cheeks. To you, she’d never looked so beautiful before. You nearly forgot your words, and Alessia took a step towards you, gently putting her hands on your waist and tugging you into her to press a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Come back to me, sweet.” Alessia murmured, her worry seeping through at how nervous you looked. Instead of responding, you rested your head against her shoulder for a moment and forced yourself to take a deep breath before starting again.

“Less– I’ve been thinking about this for a really, really long time and I know that we haven’t really talked too much about it, but I really want this and if you want it too then I think it would work. Of course, you can always say no and I would never be hurt or offended but–”

“Baby, slow down and breathe.” Alessia reassured you, pecking at your lips again as she cut off your rambling with a tiny giggle. You looked into her blue eyes as a blush rose to your cheeks. Deciding to just cut off the rest of your ill-planned speech, you blurted out the question you’d been meaning to ask for the last couple of weeks. 

“Move in with me?” 

“I would love to, baby.” Alessia responded almost instantaneously, and you grinned. 

“Really?!” You couldn’t help but be excited at the prospect of living in the same house as the love of your life. The two of you had remained in separate apartments throughout your relationship due to the secrecy of it. However, the more people who knew about the two of you, the less concerned you were about your private affairs being more known to the world. Besides, it wasn’t uncommon for those in the footballing world to move in together, as loads of your teammates had shared apartments. 

“Of course– I could barely say no when you bribe me with puppies and cookies!” Alessia jokes, and you couldn’t help but smile at her, bringing her closer for yet another unbelievably soft kiss. 

As the two of you sat with your puppy and a plate full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, you showed Alessia the picture that you’d taken of her. She asked that you send the picture to her, which you did eagerly, before turning off your phones for the day so that you could spend the rest of your time together without the outside chatter. You two spent the rest of your day eating cookies, talking, and playing with Jasper without a care in the world about anything else. 

A few weeks later, Alessia posted a monthly recap post to her instagram, the very first photo featuring the picture you’d taken of her with Jasper. The caption of the post? “A big month with the ones I love most <3”

It was this post that began to really spark the speculation of the fans that the two of you were dating. 

Surprisingly, neither of you minded. 

—--

5. Late Nights, Silent Mornings, & Kitchen Dancing

Rolling over in the bed you shared with your girlfriend, you sighed. The two of you had gone to bed many hours ago, exhausted from a day full of training and media work. However, while your girlfriend had fallen asleep almost instantaneously, you’d found yourself unable to do the same. 

Sighing yet again, you decided to get up and go get a glass of water, deciding that all of your shifting would do nothing but wake your girlfriend up, and you dreaded what would happen if you dared interrupt her beauty sleep. Sitting up and climbing out of the bed, you turned and found the covers that you had kicked about in all of your rolling, pulling them up and over your still-sleeping girlfriend. Turning the corner of the bed, you snagged a sweatshirt from on top of a chair that you knew belonged to your girlfriend, relishing in how it smelled of her as you shrugged the material over your sports bra. Before you finally left the room, you planted a soft, lingering kiss on your girlfriends’ forehead. 

Jasper sat at the foot of your bed, head perking up as you left the room, but ultimately staying where he was and deciding to sleep instead of follow you.

Softly treading down the hallway and reaching the kitchen, you went about preparing a glass of water. Once done, you drank most of it but held the half-full glass in one hand as you leaned against the counter, beyond tired but still unable to find yourself to be in the mood to sleep. You were, to be quite frank, annoyed at your inability to sleep, and wondered if it was due to stress. After all, your contract for Arsenal was running out soon and they had yet to renew it, despite all of your teammates and your girlfriend telling you that there was no way they wouldn’t renew it, given how successful you had been, especially as of late.

So consumed in your frustrated thoughts, you didn’t hear your girlfriend approaching until she was right in front of you. 

“Baby? Love? Are you alright?” She murmured, voice raspy from sleep. 

“Oh– Less, baby. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You whispered back, your own voice raspy but due to lack of sleep. Alessia frowned at you, standing in just a sports bra and sweatpants that you thought may have been yours. Instead of speaking, she took a few steps towards you and opened her arms to embrace you. As soon as you stepped towards her, she tugged you all the way into her and wrapped her arms around your middle in a giant bear hug, resting her head on your shoulder. 

“Did you want to talk about what’s keeping you up?” She asked gently, but you shook your head against her shoulder and she sighed, knowing better than to pry right now. Instead, she began to gently rock back and forth, an idea springing up in her head. Removing her hands from around you and taking a half step back, she took one of your hands in hers before wrapping her other one back around you, tugging you right back into her. Confused, you wrapped your free arm around her neck, growing even more confused as Alessia began to guide you around the kitchen humming and giggling as she began to sing, guiding you to dance to the beat of whatever song she was softly singing.

You couldn’t help but giggle, especially when your clumsy girlfriend tripped and nearly sent the two of you careening towards the ground. You were able to catch your footing, however, saving the two of you from what would have probably put you on Arsenal’s ever-persistently growing list of injured players. 

You two continued to dance for several more minutes, Alessia choosing to rest her head against your chest. As you danced, she became so consumed in listening to the steady beat of your heart that she forgot she was supposed to be humming. Instead, the two of you rocked to no beat at all, content to just be close to each other. 

Finally, you yawned, signaling that it was time to try to sleep again. Alessia guided you back towards your room to try to sleep again. Shifting in the bed, Alessia held you in her arms until she was sure that you were asleep before also falling asleep. 

It wasn’t until a few weeks later that you saw evidence of that late night featured as one of many on Alessia’s next instagram post– it was of you leaning against the counter, nothing but a shadow in a dimly-lit kitchen. It had been a dark moment for you, and you wondered why Alessia had bothered taking the picture without you knowing. However, as you continued to stare at the small photo, you noticed that Alessia had somehow managed to turn something so dark into something light and beautiful– the way that you stood, leaning against the counter, made you seem so human and perfectly captured… Well, you. It took you a few minutes to truly understand why Alessia had taken the photo, and you realized that, while the moment had been dark, the memory itself was light and fluffy. This would always be something that you’d marvel about your lover, and be sure to tell her about. Lessi was, after all, the light of your life, and it was moments like these where you knew that to be true. 

—--

6. Secrets, Magical Gardens, & Fountains

After Alessia’s last instagram post, fans were calling you the new Preath with how the two of you continuously “soft launched” your relationship, or lack of relationship… nobody really knew, honestly. Some speculated that some of Alessia’s instagram photos and stories pointed at your relationship together, while others claimed that was pure speculation. It was something that you and your girlfriend often laughed about together. After four years together, you’d never been closer or happier with the woman you loved. The two of you were still teammates at Arsenal and successful as ever, and as stable as the two of you were, you still felt like something was shifting between the two of you. 

Waking up this morning on a day off, Alessia told you to dress nicely, to which you did. Alessia herself decided upon a flowy white top and high-waisted pants. She had told the two of you that you were going somewhere but, as she drove with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on your thigh, she had yet to tell you where. 

After what seemed like ages of driving and soft conversation, Alessia pulled the car into a parking space in front of a huge, gorgeous botanical garden. Opening the door, Alessia stood in front of the car and held out her hand for you to take, which you did. Together, the two of you walked around the garden and admired all of the different types of flowers and plants. Idle chatter filled the space between the two of you, and the weather was just simply perfect. 

Coming up to a clearing that featured a large, beautiful water fountain, Alessia suddenly stopped. Turning towards you, you suddenly realized why everything had felt like it was shifting as of late. Alessia Russo dropped down to one knee in front of you, pulling a black box from the back pocket of her pants and opening it to reveal a gorgeous ring. You could barely process the moment, having been completely oblivious to Alessia’s plans. Little did you know that your partner had been planning this moment for months, utilizing the ever-present Katie McCabe to plan out her proposal. 

Not wasting a moment, Alessia spoke to you. Her blue eyes sparkled with adoration and emotion as her voice quivered, but remained true. 

“Y/N M/N L/N, from festival dates to football matches, to movie nights and early mornings spent dancing in the kitchen, I have spent hours upon hours doing the things I love with the person I love the most. You make even the smallest things seem like the most significant, and there is nothing I would love more in the world than to spend the rest of my life with you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes. Yes. A thousand and one times, yes.” And with that, Alessia slipped the ring on your finger. 

The instagram post arose several days later, when both of you had the time to announce your engagement and simultaneously officialize the relationship between the two of you. It was your final hard launch after several years of soft launching and teasing the fans endlessly.

The picture the two of you chose was of Alessia on one knee in front of the fountain, both arms extended up to you with the ring box open in her hands. Your hands were on your face, the emotion that bled from the both of you prevalent in the photo. The caption for the photo was simple, “A thousand times, yes. Fiances at last.” 

The song that played in the background was the one that seemed to tie it all together, “The Feels” by Labrinth. The song and its lyrics reminded you of you terrified you’d been, standing at Alessia’s front door just before your first date, a shaky mess. You remembered wondering if you’d be hurt again, if dating again was worth the risk and suffering of yet another heartbreak. 

Now, as you laid next to your sleeping fiancé, you knew that the risk you had taken had been more than worth it. You would always be grateful to your younger self for taking that massive leap and choosing to trust Alessia Russo with your heart. Closing your eyes and laying back down beside the love of your life, you fell asleep with a smile of absolute satisfaction and love upon your face.

Part two for my live reactions to the Arsenal v Chelsea match

london is red 🤍❤️

me zoning back in and seeing steph go down and hold her knee

me acting shocked when katie mccard gets a yellow

me watching caitlin getting carded seconds after katie… (i’m a mcfoord stan)

me when kim goes down with injury after just coming back

me watching manu actually do her job and not be a tree 🫶

me waiting to hear the word “penalty” vs me when it finally got given to lessi

LESSI RUSSO WITH THE PENALTY SHOT

me watching all the yellows being given in this second half

me going to sleep knowing that we demolished chelsea, lessi got player of the match and we weren't shit in the first half. well done ladies

official masterlist for my works <3

No one is permitted to steal, copy or reblog my work as their own.

Should I open requests for things to write? lmk xx

WOSO

Stargirl | Matildas x original character fic - masterlist

Gnomeo and Juliet | Alanna Kennedy x reader

it’s not your fault | Mary Earps x Reader

Joining the club | Jen Beattie x Reader

You're gonna go far | Jessie Fleming x chelsea!reader

Something out of a rom com | Steph Catley x reader

Watch my shattered edges glisten| Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic)

So high school | Jessie Fleming x ucla!reader

CRIMINAL MINDS

Welcome home kiss | Emily Prentiss x GN!reader

Time Bomb | Criminal minds x fem!reader

love you to the moon and saturn | emily prentiss x gn!reader

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend | emily prentiss x gn!reader

A life for a life | Derek Morgan x platonic!reader