The Art Of Heresy Forged 1984 - Prequel

gege said canon gojo was incapable of normal relationships and people forreal took that as womanizng and not that he is actually so fundamentally burdened by jujutsu society and responsibility he would never ever want someone he loves to bear that with him or for him . anyway

✵ SHIELDED HEART ✵

MMA!Toji realizing how much he misses his journalist, and hoping that she’s still thinking about him.

✵ MMA!Toji Fushiguro x journalist!reader ✵

✵ connected to this fic if you wanna read it first

✵ tags — slight angst, m!receiving blowjob, squirting, age gap (20/36), nsfw, MDNI (18+) size kink, corruption kink, fingering, penetrative s*x, major pussy slapping, cock worship, cum slut, biting, spit kink, praise kink, brat taming, crying kink, pet names, dumbification

✵ note — thank u sm for all the comments/reblogs for the first part! I took some suggestions from my inbox for this so thank u to whoever sent some in :) I made this more dramatic than it needed to be — forgive me

18+ — MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

your hands were deep in your pockets, shoulders raised, shielding your face from the cold gust of wind. your eyes a bit foggy as you quickly crossed the street, trying to keep yourself warm in your large black coat and green scarf, nuzzling your face into it for some more warmth. Watching your warm breath sizzle in the cold air. Until you finally reached your destination.

the sound of grunts and bags being hit, washed in, stumbling in to close the door before another gust of cold air blew in. your face felt frozen, as you shuffled inside. letting out a shaky breath. As your eyes scanned the gym.

ever since that night, you had not seen each other. Toji was more than irritated. He had let you put your number in his phone after eating breakfast at a nice little restaurant. He found it adorable when you stood in front of him anxiously typing it in.

“your fingers are shaking,” he pointed, with a smug grin. Your brows knit together, frustrated how flustered you still are around him.

“they’re not,” you shot back.

“mmm,” he said, holding in his laughter as he watched your face scrunch up in annoyance. Quickly adding your name and handing him his phone back.

“my hands…they’re just cold,” you reply, not necessarily lying since it was freezing out and your hands were ice. Rubbing them together for some warmth, selling the half lie a bit. Toji licked his lips, taking note of the way he could see his breath fog in the air. Your breath hitched as you felt the warmth of his palms enclose yours.

“your body run cold?” Toji comments, the stark contrast of his warm hands holding your cold ones, sent a warm blush running up your neck. Your lips parted to answer, but your voice fell off once he raised your hands to his lips, breathing against your digits, warming them up. “no more complaining?” His eyes looking down at you, taking note of the adorable way your lips were parted.

“wasn’t complaining…” you mumble, feeling your stomach flip as he kept his hands around yours, his lips ghosting your fingers with his hot breath. Your cheeks were flushed, eyes mesmerized by the light pink that dusted his nose, and his green lidded eyes that stood out. Eyes glancing down at his wet lips. Somehow your body had a mind of its own as your index finger slowly peaked out, touching his bottom lip.

toji smiled against your finger as he let you gently feel the warmth of his plump lips. he parted them some more letting his tongue touch the digit. His eyes stayed on you, watching your gaze that was locked on his lips. Even after he pounded you last night, taking your little virginity away, and the way he fucked you so easily this morning, you still had the innocence in your big doe eyes. He wanted to ruin you. Every second of every minute. You were in the palm of his hand, he can do as he pleases with you. The cute scrunch of your nose when he bit your finger, had him absolutely melting.

“Toji Fushiguro! That’s you isn’t it!” Your hand immediately slipped from his lips as two men came over jittery. Clearly fans. “Oh man I saw your fight last night, that was incredible! The way you—“

“If you don’t mind,” Toji brushed them off with an annoyed grunt, before his hand came over to your back, getting ready to leave.

“Shit, could we get a signature man. I’ve been a fan for years,” the man pleaded, as the other stood beside you. Toji’s grip tightened on your waist. He was indeed an athlete. However, that’s all he wanted. Dealing with fans, press, whatever the fuck that wasn’t his opponent, always made him tick. Then of course, there was you, he wouldn’t leav—

“It’s fine, I’ll just wait here,” you chimed in. You felt guilty. These boys were clearly big fans, and you didn’t want to get in the way. Toji couldn’t get a word in because you already stepped away, his grip falling absent, allowing the boys to come over.

the fighters jaw tightened as he quickly signed what was in front of him. His eyes glancing up at you every second, seeing you holding your little bag strap waiting patiently. Finally finishing up and snapping a picture, he made his way back to you. That’s when his phone rang. You smiled, letting him know it was fine, Toji sucked in a breath, clearly irritated but answering.

“Is everything okay?” You asked, watching him end the call. Toji looked over seeing your hands deep in your pockets, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. “oh,” your voice was small, toji was always catching you off guard. the man felt your frozen cheeks. he casually took the green scarf he was wearing and placed it around you, before cupping your face under the scarf, warming them even more.

“When are you free?” Toji’s face was close, trying to block the cold air. However, the distance already had your body heating up, as you tried to remain calm with the way his large hands held your face.

“This week?” You clarified. He nodded. “um uh…” your brain was malfunctioning. Why does he make you feel like this? He makes you so nervous!

“call me, I want to see you,” toji said, his thumb brushing your now warmed up cheeks. Your eyes staring up at him. so cute. “I have some business with my manager. okay?” Your lips parted. But nodding instead, not trusting your voice. Toji’s scar twitched up in a smirk. “what happened to that smart mouth of yours?” Teasing.

“Huh?” Your attitude immediately snapped back, brows pushed together as Toji laughed at the visible vein that popped on your forehead. “Smart mouth my ass, whatever, fine I’ll call you, go do your job, as if I care,” you ramble, rolling your eyes as he laughed, snuggling the scarf closer to your body to keep you warm. “Stop doing that,” you grumble.

“hmm, but you get all red when I do it,” he teased, watching your eyes glare at him and your face burn red, however, you still allowed him to touch you. just him.

“It’s the cold, don’t take credit for that,” you scoff, looking away trying to laugh off the nerves he’s annoyingly giving you.

“such a child,” toji mumbled. Your lips parted turning back to say something, until he caught your lips. Your eyes fluttered in surprise, but your body automatically responded when his tongue peaked out, lips parting for him. Toji smiled as his tongue teased yours, so grateful for your adorable obedience . Your feet pushing up, wanting more of him as his hands held your face, as he pulled away.

Your tongue still hung out as he bit it teasingly, a whine escaping softly. your cheeks were squished in his palms, eyes lidded as Toji did as you wanted, letting his saliva roll down his tongue onto yours before he licked your lips.

“should see yourself. all whiny and needy,” he said, watching your eyes stare up at his a little dazed.

“not whiny,” you pout, which absolutely sent the older man, having your cheeks squished and your lips pouting with his salvia shining on them.

“mmm okay, I’m leaving now. Didn’t you say your apartment was close?” he said, you nodded letting him know you were okay. Toji hummed, giving you a kiss on the forehead. You felt your heart jump. “call me.” He finally said, before taking a step back.

“Your scarf,” you stutter out.

“Didn’t you say you were red and freezing cuz of the cold?” Toji walked away, waving a hand. You rolled your eyes, jerk. You stood there for awhile before finally making your way back home. You took multiple wrong turns, lost in your head until you finally arrived at your apartment.

You crashed into your bed, nuzzling your face further into the scarf. Smells like him, you blushed, remembering his touch and lips, your legs unconsciously squeezing together. Would it be too fast to let him know when you’re free now? You felt your heart beating a bit quicker. But he’s not some sleazy college guy, he’s an adult, so does the waiting matter?

Opting to wait just a couple more hours, you got ready to head to work. Which was useless since all you thought about was the man that pounded you this morning and bought you a new camera. Your finger gently touching your lips. “Did you finally get that interview?” Your co-worker broke your thoughts, snatching your hand away from your lips.

“Oh—ya, finishing up the transcript right now,” you said, as your coworker asked how you did it. You waved her off saying you did as she said. It wasn’t until you returned home from work that you sprinted into your room ready to call toji and tell him you’re free tomorrow. But the moment you opened your phone, your body froze.

you put your number on his phone…in other words you have to wait for him to call you first…

Your eye twitched in slight annoyance. So why the fuck did he tell you to call him!?

Tossing your phone on your bed, you stormed out, to grab some food from the fridge. Annoying ass athlete. You grumbled to yourself. However the annoyance quickly dissolved into insecurity. No way he said all that just to purposely ghost you right? No—definitely not. Just give it some time…yes time.

Toji’s fist clenched once he realized what you’d done. This couldn’t have been on purpose. When he opened his phone to call you, your name was half written and you hadn’t finished typing your number. That little…

Toji took a sharp inhale, cooling his head. Of course he noticed how anxious you were typing your number in, then he had to go and tease you about it. You probably got dizzy and typed something fast just to give his phone back quickly.

“Oi Toji get back to it!” Naoya, his training coach, snapped. “You can call your side whores later—“

Toji glared at the man, letting his words cut off.

Naoya cleared his throat. “Get back to it. You have a flight to catch at the end of the week, don’t forget!”

You spent the entire week checking your phone. Did he not want to call you. Were you really a bother? When he said he hated journalists, did that really mean you too? All these thoughts continued to eat you alive, until you finally decided to head over to the gym and see for yourself.

And that’s how you ended up here. Your hand held the green scarf, not having washed it for a week, because you didn’t want to loose his smell. Your eyes scanned the gym, he wasn’t here. You didn’t know why your chest was tightening, you just wanted to see him—

“Can I help you?” A man who was working out came to you. His eyes bright blue, and hair white. “You’re that journalist that came last week, right?” He remembered, having been there.

“Uh ya…um is toji-san here?” You asked, eyes still looking around for him.

“Ah you just missed him. He left this morning to catch a flight.”

“A flight?” Your voice jumped a bit.

“He’s just going for some sponsorship meetings. I think he’s coming back in two weeks. Do you want me to give him a message?” Gojo asked. Your nails played with the loose string of your jacket.

“yes…if you can just give him my number and tell him I stopped by. if you don’t mind, of course,” you say, not knowing how to feel just yet about waiting two weeks.

“don’t mind at all. anything for a pretty lady,” Gojo smiled. you smiled thanking him, Taking the little post it with your name and number. You thanked him again, making him laugh before making your exit. You stood outside for a moment. Hoping that maybe toji didn’t call you because he was busy, and hopefully when he gets your message he’ll call you. You didn’t want to be a bother, you really didn’t want to get in his way…but…but you couldn’t help thinking about him. Is that so bad?

“Hello, what is it?” Naoya answered the phone, a bit irritated.

“Fuck you have his phone for?” Gojo groaned hearing Noaya’s annoying ass voice. He never knew why Toji hired him.

“What is it?” Noaya snapped.

“is toji there?” Gojo asked, holding the post it in his hand.

“No he’s shooting an ad right now, what do you need?” snapping again, Gojo rolled his eyes. Toji needs a new coach honestly.

“That journalist girl stopped by. Just left a message if you could let toji know,” Gojo said, rubbing his eye.

“Journalist gir—“ Noaya stopped remembering. Was that why Toji was frustrated. The journalist is smothering him. “Give me the message I’ll let him know.”

“I’ll just call back—“

“Just give me the message,” Noaya snapped.

“Who was that?” Toji asked coming over to Naoya who ended the call. Noaya waved him off.

“Gojo called just telling you about some boxes that were dropped off with the new gloves,”Noaya lied easily. Toji didn’t respond. Was he expecting that you called? That you found some way to contact him?? Toji took a deep breath, calming his frustrations. He was not some little high school kid, he’s been married before, had a kid, man has a whole life, yet he’s hung up on this little journalist. But…

he missed you. your touch. your voice. your warmth. he may know very little about you…but he wants more. that’s all he wants. more more more. The only thing quenching his need is the photo he took of you last week. He wished he’d gotten another picture, but he’d have to make due with this one.

You never truly understood romantic relationships. it just never appealed to you. Well maybe you never took the time to understand them—yet…yet this fighter is occupying your mind 24/7. You left the message with that one man about three weeks ago. Didn’t he say he would be gone for two weeks? Does that mean that he was back.

“Are you going to be okay?” You looked up at your roommates. The two were packing up to go back home for the break.

“ya, obviously…got the whole place to myself,” you scoffed, as your other roommate came out with her suitcase.

“you hate being alone,” she pointed, making you roll your eyes.

“alone and lonely are different things. Besides I’m gonna go have drinks with some friends tonight…” you reassure them. Your roommates raised a brow.

“but you don’t drink…” they say.

“well I’m gonna eat and they’ll drink. One of them is paying for it all, so free food, so I’ll also have some for the rest of the week,” you grin, making the two laugh. They left a couple minutes later, closing the door with a sigh, you walk back to your room before crashing on your bed.

your eyes slightly blurry, suddenly realizing the few tears that slipped down. “so annoying,” you mumbled, burying your face in the duvet, as you let it soak your tears. this is why relationships suck…this is why you never liked them…and you don’t even know if you’re in one.

beep. beep.

your eyes opened, closing the alarm. sitting up, you rubbed your eyes, taking note of the time. you should probably get ready now. you yawned, shuffling up to get ready to head out to the bar.

There were many things that ticked Toji off. Of course the main one being paparazzi and journalists. However, something that always riled him up was getting beaten up during training rounds. Though, that has rarely ever occurred, it just so happened to be occurring at this moment.

“What’s wrong with you?!” Noaya shouted, as he circled the outer ring, trying to get Toji’s attention. Toji spat out some blood, as Gojo stepped into the ring ending the match.

“I think you should let him rest, Noaya,” Gojo interfered, noticing Toji struggle to get his gloves off. Noaya scoffed, as he stormed out. The other fighter quickly left the ring before Toji could pounce him. While Gojo came over to help with the wrappings.

“Is everything alright, this past week you’ve been off your game,” Gojo asked, untying one hand.

“Why don’t you mind ‘yr own fuckin’ business, ay,” Toji spat, lifting his other wrist to his teeth, ripping them off. His knuckles were cut, and slightly bleeding, along with the cut on his cheekbone and lip.

“Don’t haveta come for me, I’m on your side man,” Gojo said, as Toji stood up. “Did you ever get the message I gave, coach?” Gojo asked as Toji stepped out of the ring. Grabbing a towel wiping himself down.

“ya,” toji grunted, assuming it was about the new gloves. Pulling his shorts off and slipping on his sweats and hoodie.

“wanna grab some drinks? cool off?” Gojo called out, however, Toji had already slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way out. “…okay,” Gojo rubbed his hair.

“Why do you try so hard?” Geto said sitting on the bench having seen the whole exchange. Gojo grumbled as he stepped out of the ring as well.

“Maybe cuz I want him to coach me,” Gojo huffed.

“He’s a fighter,” Geto said, tossing Gojo a water bottle.

“He was talking about retiring in a year,” Gojo said, chugging down the water. “Just need that prick, Noaya, to leave.” Geto hummed in agreement.

The bar was filled to the brim. Fridays nights were usually like this. At least, that’s what you assumed. Pushing your way through, until you finally spotted your co-workers. It was mainly the young staff from the press company you worked at.

“y/n you finally made it!” Kai shouted, waving you down. She was the co-worker that worked across from you. You smiled taking a seat beside her. Most of you nine were students or just graduated. The entire table took shots, while you decided to stick with some water and order food.

You rarely went out when it was everyone that was drinking, however, the free food pulled you in. Yet you still managed to play with your food, mind wandering off—

“hey y/n, you finished the piece on that one mma fighter right?” Alia asked. Your eyes lifted up, nodding your head. “Oh great, cuz the boss wanted me to switch and I really was going too, but then I got that other story on the animals that I’ve been fighting to get,” she ranted, as you nodded.

“Ya, I finished it up a week or so ago,” you said, as Alia smiled, congratulating you.

“Oh my god, you were soo desperate to get that story off your back. At first I thought you were just being dramatic, but now I understand…that fighter is so scary!” You looked up at Liam, confused. Yes Toji-San was intimidating, but—

“Ya when he came to the building and was asking for you, I was scared he was going to start something,” another co-worker chimed in. Your brows knit together.

“Wait—wait he came to the building—when?” You shout.

“Uhh—“ Kai thought.

“I think it was last Thursday in the morning—“

“Ya last week. He came to the front and asked where you were,” Liam said, as the others nodded. Last Thursday—you had classes Thursday morning.

“I LOVE MMA,” Sasha gushed, “Liam and I noticed him, and he was huge,” Sasha was giggling as Liam rolled his eyes.

“Why was he there, what happened?” can they just get to the point, you huffed.

“Well, you, obviously,” Sasha laughed, your heart stopped.

“But we heard about all the trouble you were having with the story, we were worried something happened during the interview and he was coming to start something.” Liam said.

“I fucking love Toji Fushiguro, but he’s scary to talk too, and all his opponents are always beaten to pulps,” Sasha said.

“I told them to tell him you were busy,” Kai said, asking the waiter for more drinks and chips.

“Are you serious?” You suddenly said. He came…he came and now he probably thinks you’re the one that doesn’t want to see him. “Did he say anything else?”

“I think he left a message with a number, I threw it out,” Sasha waved, as if that was the most innocent thing ever. You felt your blood boil, unable to process what you were feeling, you immediately stood up, knocking the seat back, hitting the persons chair behind you.

“Hey—“

“Where are you going?” Kai looked up, as you grabbed the green scarf that you placed on your chair.

“Fresh air,” you mumbled, pushing your way past the crowd, before stumbling out the door. Sucking in the lung piercing air, you tried to catch your breath. Hot tears warming your cheeks. is he mad at you now? he probably doesn’t want to see you. of course he wouldn’t. you’ve caused so much trouble for him already. going to his gym and leaving a message he probably threw away. then him coming to tell you something and being thrown out.

you cursed yourself for being so stupid. what’s the point? You buried the lower half of your face in the green scarf as it soaked your tears, as making your way back to your apartment. this sucks, everything sucks!

Toji-san…

Your body froze. the familiar set of hair. The physique. The gym logo on the duffel bag. it’s him. It has to be.

the man across the street, continued walking. not realizing you were quickly going after him. Unbeknownst to you, someone was also following the little journalist. Toji-san stop walking so fast! You cursed, trying to keep up with him, as he turned into streets and alleys.

“Toji-san?” Your legs stopped, somehow reaching a long dark back alley. Are you kidding me? No fucking way are you going down that. “Toji-san?” You meekly call out. Fuck me! Now you’ll have to retrace your steps and find the exit to this alley so you can find him.

you held his scarf tightly as you turned back around, only to stumble backwards at the sudden man that appeared before you.

“shit—“ you held your chest, catching your breath at the surprise. “my bad, excuse me,” you said, sidestepping the man, before he moved to stand in your way. “uhhh,” no way. this isn’t happening to you. are fucking for real right now!

“It seems like you’re lost…I’m just here to help,” the creep laughed, sending chills down your spine.

“haha I’m good, not lost. Meeting a friend right now,” you quickly respond, trying to get past him. But he was able to stand in your way. His clothes were ragged, and he had a ski-mask covering his face.

“It’s okay, no need to be scared,” he came towards you, hand coming up to grab your shirt, only for you to swing your fist into his face. “Fuck!” The man shouted, grabbing his jaw.

“Shit,” you cursed, feeling the sting in your hand. Your eyes went wide as you felt your body getting thrown against the building. Ow, you swung your leg up, hitting the man between his legs, as he cursed. Shit, you were too far to kick him hard.

“Fucking bitch—“ the words were quite literally knocked out of his mouth as you witnessed a fist collide with his face. Sending the creep stumbling back. Wait— you noticed the knife he pulled from his pocket.

“Wait—“ your words faded as the creep swung the knife, scraping the other man’s arm, before he knocked the knife from his hands and sent another fist to his face, over and over until the creep was on the ground.

“toji-san,” your voice was small, as you held your jacket tightly, staring up at the mans back. Suddenly feeling you crash into him, burying your face into his back. Toji sighed, looking at the broken skin on his knuckles, before noticing the slight bruising on your own hand resting on his stomach. You held the man tighter, as Toji pulled you off, noticing the tears in your eyes sent a wave of concern and worry.

“are you hurt—“ his words were thrown away as you flung yourself into his arms again. Arms wrapped around his shoulder, as you buried your face in his neck. The scent you’d only had the pleasure of dreaming about, finally washed over you.

“I missed you,” you spoke softly, cheeks flushed at the embarrassing words. But you meant them. You really did. “I missed you so much, toji-san…so much.” Toji smiled, his hand on the back of your head as he held you close.

“Still needy as ever,” he teased, however, he couldn’t stop the bright smile as he pulled away to see the way your cheeks were puffed and damp from the tears. And the green scarf that he’d given you.

“Shut up,” you grumble, suddenly remembering what had happened moment ago. “Your arm!” You pull away fully, to grab his arm. The cut wasn’t deep, but he was still bleeding.

“ ‘s fine—“

“It’s not, my apartment is right around here, come,” not thinking twice you grabbed his duffel bag that he’d thrown on the ground and pulled him along with you. Ignoring how he was trying to take his bag from you, but you telling him he’s injured. Letting it go. You dropped the bag by your front door, and pulled him to sit on the stool beside the kitchen.

“It’s cute,” Toji said as he looked at the small tokyo apartment. You came out of your room with the first aid kit. Toji taking note of the outfit you were wearing. “At a party or something?”

“Oh uh, just at a bar with some friends,” you said, “drinks and food,” you took off his sweater so you can see the cut that went through the material and pierced the skin. Cleaning the wound, luckily there wouldn’t be any need for stitches.

“how much ‘d you drink?” his eyes were locked on your face, noticing the way your fingers delicately wrapped his arm in a bandage.

“nothing… I don’t drink,” you said, looking up at him with a smile as you put some ointment on his knuckles.

“good girl,” he said, smiling at the way your cheeks went pink. Glad that you were fully sober right now. Not long did you notice the small cut on his cheekbone.

“What happened to your face!” You said, opening the kit again to clean the wound.

“It’s nothing,” toji couldn’t pull you off until you finished cleaning and placing a butterfly bandaid on it. “You done?”

You scoffed. “You’re welcome,” you roll your eyes, closing the kit and turning to put it away. yet you felt the lips on your neck.

“Why’d you give me the wrong number?” Toji mumbled into your skin, arms wrapping around your waist pulling your back into his chest.

“Didn’t mean too,” you answer, the guilt climbing up your throat. Toji’s hands wandered the flesh on your stomach as his lips warmed your skin.

“You weren’t trying to hide from me?” Toji asked, as his large hands unbuttoned the cute sweater cardigan you were wearing, exposing your bra to the air.

“No! I wasn’t—“ you quickly turn around, ignoring the embarrassment of having Toji look at your embarrassing little bra. Toji’s eyes wide as he took in the red flush on your cheeks, the way your eyes sparkled with excess tears, and the way you licked your lips to catch your words. “I wasn’t hiding from you. I never wanted to hide from you!” Your hands are grabbing at his arm as he admires your adorable little confession.

“How am I supposed to believe that?” Toji tilted his head. “Got pushed out by your friends at work, too,” he brought it up. So it was true. He did come by to see you. The guilt was at its max, as your eyes filled with tears, unable to express your feelings at all. This is embarrassing!

“It’s—not like that!” You shake your head. “It’s not like that that, toji-san,” you repeat. Toji felt your grip tighten around his arms. Taking note of the way your lip quivered. His hand lifted up, pulling your bottom lip.

“Spit it out, y/n,” your name on his lips sent a wave of arousal flooding inside you. “I can just fuck you and make you cry if you wanna act like a baby so badly. So spit it out, so I know what you want,” Toji could be cruel sometimes. But he was not someone that liked tip toeing around feelings and emotions.

“I want you,” you mumble eyes locked on his lap standing between his open legs, Toji’s hand slipped from your lips.

“look at me,” he watched your lip quiver. Of course he knew you were still a dumb little girl. Still embarrassed about expressing your feelings. But he didn’t have time for that. No…he hasn’t seen you in four weeks. The only thing that’s been on his mind is you. And now all he wants is for you to tell him you feel the same.

toji is not an idiot. He knows you feel the same. But knowing is different from you saying it.

“don’t be a brat, and look at me,” toji rubbed his thumb on your chin. Sighing as he felt your tears fall on his wrist, sliding down to his bandage. “sweetheart.”

“b-but toji-san,” your voice was quiet, swallowing the lumps in your throat as you tried to speak clearly for him. Not wanting to act like a baby.

“hmm?” The man encouraged you.

“i don’t want you to be mad,” his brows furrowed. Why would he be mad?

“just look at me. lemme see your eyes, baby,” toji hummed as you finally lifted your head. Teary eyes meeting his, as he smiled. “Not so bad, eh?” He said, as you hummed. Trying desperately to stop your lip from quivering.

“I came to see you…” you said, sucking up some more breath to speak. “A week after we were together…did I do something wrong?” You couldn’t help yourself. You wanted him to like you so badly, you don’t want to be a bother. Clingy and whiny was something you despised. Yet why are you acting like that.

“I went on a trip…” Toji tried to explain but you were shaking your head.

“I know…I know, and I left a message with that one guy…the white haired one,” Gojo, Toji’s brows furrowed…wait a moment… “I thought I did something…you didn’t call me—“ Toji hated this. He hated all this miscommunication. He hated that trip, he hated not talking to you or knowing if you were alright. And to find out this whole fucked up situation was caused by something on his part—

His lips drank her words as he tried his best to reassure her. “It’s my fault,” toji mumbled, kissing away her insecurities that he created. “It’s all my fault,” he hands roamed her body. Her hot skin against his palms had him pulling her closer as her hands felt down his chest, resting between his legs.

“can I?” You pant against his lips, fingers playing with the waistband of his sweats. Toji looks at you, laughing as you open your mouth, telling him what you want to do.

“I haven’t seen you in forever, you don’t want me filling you up?” Toji brushed the hair from your face, feeling the heat radiating off your skin.

“I wanna taste you, too,” you whisper, fingers played with the string of his sweats.

“Okay, just because you used you words,” toji praised, lifting your head as you kissed him. Toji hummed against your lips as he stood up, pulling you into his chest. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he smiled lifting you up. “So spoiled,” Toji mumbled as he took you to the room you pointed at.

You once again got lost in his taste, his tongue swallowing yours as you played with him. Laying you on the edge of your bed, standing as he put one knee between your legs as his hands pulled the clothing off your body. His lips covering the more skin he exposed. Until you suddenly pushed him back with your foot.

“You said I could do it,” you pout, he had already pulled your pants off, tossing to the side, and your bra strap was off your shoulder pulled down to expose your tits, perked buds already covered in his saliva.

“are you ready for that?” Toji was slightly guilty, and maybe selfish too. He doesn’t want you sucking him off because you think he’s mad at you. I mean, yes, he’ll die to have you gagging on dick, but well…he also wants to taste you too…

You pushed him back more, so he was standing upright. His cock was clearly visible in his low hanging sweats. Your other foot pressing against the boner making him grunt in surprise. His hand held your foot against his pec, as the other felt the skin of your legs. Groaning as he noticed the wet patch that bloomed between your legs.

“Toji-san, I want it in my…” you stuck your tongue out, making Toji pull you forward. A yelp escaping your lips as he dropped your legs and lifted you upright. You sat in front of him as he bent down, grabbing your jaw.

“You haven’t done this with anyone?” Toji asked, watching your eyes shine as you shook your head. “What did you do in the four weeks I didn’t see you?”

“Nothing,” you answer quickly, his brow quirked, as he pushed his sweats off. Your eyes drifting down to the large print in his boxers.

“Eyes on me,” toji tapped your cheek as you snapped your head up. Completely at his mercy.

“Wanna see it,” you smile, toji had to focus. That innocent little smile when your talking about sucking him off. Fuck me. “miss it…” your hand tries to grab at him.

“Listen to me,” toji snapped, making you whine. “are you seriously gonna act all spoiled?” Toji lifted your chin as he bit your bottom lip, making you whine.

“toji-san…okay…I’ll be good,” you huff, cheeks flushed as Toji pulled his boxers down. you’re so cute, he thought. Your fist clenched around the blanket trying your best to keep your eyes on his face. You could see from your peripheral, the large cock slapping his lower stomach.

Toji hummed as he laid you down on the bed, looming over as he climbed above you, lips and hands feeling your skin. Nibbling on your tits as he drooled, massaging the other as he rubbed himself between your clothed cunt. Your arousal seeped through the material of your panties, wetting his growing member so lewdly. You completely forgot all senses as Toji worshipped your body, biting at the skin, smiling as dark marks littered your body, trying his best to make up for lost tim—

“huh?” Your eyes fluttered open feeling his warmth leave you. You looked to your side seeing him sat up, leaning up with one arm.

“what’s with the face?” he taunted, making you groan as you turned over and crawled between his legs. annoyingly shrugging the bra off you as you kissed up his neck, nuzzling your face against his hot skin. Your tongue licking him as toji hummed.

“wanted you to fuck me,” you whine, hand feeling down his free arm pulling it to your body trying to get him to continue. “toji-san,” you whine when you get him to squeeze your tit. Toji throws his head back in laughter. As you huff.

“you asked for it,” toji said, his hand holding your face as he licked your lips. “if you do a good job, then I’ll play with your pretty cunt,” toji clicked his tongue only for you to lick his lips, kissing his scar as he chuckled. “what is it?”

your warm breath fanned against his lips, waiting for him. “you know what,” you sighed gently, eyes dazed.

“you haven’t done anything yet?” toji tsked jokingly, only for you to kiss his jaw and cheek, going back to his lips.

“toji-san…just for now,” you wanted it, please. toji hummed as he held the side of your face.

“comprising are we?” toji tilted his head as you nodded eagerly, Toji’s thumb pulling your bottom lip down. “submissive little puppy,” toji smiled as he rubbed his digit against your tongue as your eyes remained on him. “adorable,” that look. toji could be mean on you some other time. yes…for now, he’ll give you whatever you want. “open up.”

his tongue connected with yours, purposely making it as wet as possible, before he pulled back. Looking down at you, the trail of saliva connecting your lips before finally granting your wish. His salvia slipping from his lips, down onto your tongue. Your eyes fluttered in bless, moaning gently as you press your pussy down on the mattress, swallowing as toji brushed your hair.

you hummed in delight, lips connecting with the man’s neck. Toji sighed as you littered his skin in sloppy kisses. He fingers tangled in your hair as you hung up on his chest. your lips curling into a smile as you felt the flesh of his large man tits. Tongue swirling on his nipples. Nibbling on them, as toji hummed in delight. teeth marks littered his chest. Finally trailing lower down his body, smiling when the well groomed hairs tickled your nose.

“toji-san’s so pretty,” you mumble as you kiss and nibble around his pelvis. Unbothered by the musk of his long day. only delighted that he was allowing you to bury your face in it. Finger’s subconsciously rubbing his thigh. Toji laughed, brushing your hair back, as he waited patiently for you. The amount of pre cum creating a small puddle on his thigh as his cock rested.

“gonna get to it, sweetheart?” Toji rubbed your cheekbone, as you hummed.

“ ‘s big,” you mumble, fingers delicately tracing his hard dick.

“mmm,” toji picks up your hand, lifting it to his lips as he licks your palm. he caresses your cheek as he guides your hand to his dick. allowing your fingers to wrap around the length, lifting the heavy weight as he groaned. your eyes sparkled.

“I’ll make you feel good,” you said in determination. Toji hummed as you leaned further between his legs, as he spread them for you. You brought the tip to your lips. Sneaking a lick for taste. The bitter sweetness had you lapping again and again, before latching your lips on his tip—

“shit,” toji groaned, brushing the hair off your face as you stroked his cock. “take more, baby,” Toji instructed. Obedient as ever, you took a little more in. The weight felt nice in your mouth, tongue circling as you slobbered on his thickness, drool siping down to your palm as you squeezed a little tighter pumping his cock. “fhuck just like that,” toji groaned.

Your pussy was clenching around nothing as you worshipped his cock. He was moaning the more you struggled to take him in. Chocking when he pushed you lower, gagging as tears slid down your burning cheeks as you tried your hardest to fit him in. you loved it. his hands in your hair, petting your head like a good girl, his low groans and pants…

“so cute ugh crying all over my dick,” Toji praised, more tears slipping as you rubbed your legs together, unconsciously stimulating your pussy. Toji was in awe his head thrown back as you pulled off to catch your breath, panting on his cock as drool slipped down his twitching dick. your fingers played with him. leaning down as you held his cock up, rubbing your face on the underside, kissing his heavy balls. his pre cum grazing your cheeks.

“my little cock slut,” toji rubbed your forehead as you drooled on his balls, licking the vein that ran up. you hummed in delight, he smelled so good. your senses were dazed, he was so big. you went back up to take him in your lips. not having enough of him.

“struggling s’ much—shit,” Your pussy was completely drenched, something building up as you rubbed your pussy against the mattress. Toji’s brow quirked, head tilted as he noticed your unconscious little play. Your lips latched onto his fat mushroom tip, that leaked more and more. His hips bucking, as you gagged for a moment. This was definitely the most someone has struggled giving him head, yet seeing the absolute delight in your face, the red blush on your cheeks, the fat tears that fell from your fucked out eyes.

“fuck, making such a mess,” toji moaned as you swirled your tongue around his tip. “ugh so good, puppy,” Noticing how much his hips jump and cock twitched, you sucked harder, palm gliding as you pumped him more. “baby…baby…fuck me…” toji groaned as his balls tighted, abs clenching as he rolled his hips up, spurting into your lips. “ah fuck, ah good,” toji groaned as he watched you stroke him, milking out his cum as your tongue hung out, before you suddenly felt a chill run up your spine— grounding yourself on the mattress as you moaned on Toji’s cock. nails digging into his thigh, head falling down as your eyes rolling closed.

“fucking brat,” toji clicked his tongue as he sighed knowing exactly what happened. your lips drooling on his cock as you panted, cheek falling to rest on his upper thigh. “you couldn’t wait a couple minutes?” toji brushed your hair as you licked the cum from his tip, as if it was some lollipop. “cant even control your own pussy?” The semi-hard cock, felt nice in your hand. Your eyes dazed, tears staining your cheek as toji sat fully up.

“gonna slobber on my cock all night?” Toji watched your eyes lift up to his, still holding his tip to your lips, as you hummed, licking him again. “fuck,” toji pulled you up. Your tongue automatically latching on to his lips, as he fell back on the bed. Gosh you were always fucked after cumming. Toji thought.

“so you cum in your panties and think it’s that easy,” toji mumbles as he pulls you off him. You whine at the loss. Some of his cum still stained the side of your lips and chin as he wiped it off, before shoving his thumb in your lips. moaning around him.

“ wasn’t on purpose,” you mumble, toji sits up, as you rub against his thigh.

“sure— cumming from just sucking my dick,” toji said, your cheeks flushed. “Take em off.” Toji’s finger rip the waistband of your panties.

You embarrassingly pull them off. Toji guiding you to sit between his legs.

“show me how drenched you are,” he commands.

“that’s embarrassing, toji-san,” your face is red, cursing your pussy for reacting.

toji‘a eyes sunk. “spread. your. legs.”

Your face was flushed as you willingly opened your legs wide. he grabbed them, placing them on the outside of his thighs, letting him get a perfect view of your pussy lips spread for him. allowing visible access to the clear cream leaking from your pulsing core.

toji hummed spreading your lips apart even more, “clit is a nice lil hard bud,” toji tsked, flicking the knot of nerves, making a moan escape your lips. he sank a finger into you easily. “still tight even after cumming yourself,” toji pulled out as he licked his finger, purposely making you bite your lip in suspense. His cock grew the more you wiggled between his legs. he was dreaming of your taste for weeks, his blood rushing south.

“fill me up, please,” you whine when he pumps your pussy again, so close to cumming before he pulls out. Licking his fingers. “toji-saaan,” your eyes well up with tears, only for toji to slap your pussy.

“stop it,” toji snaps, “who’s the one that decided to cum herself?” Toji raises a brow, waiting for an answer. your fist clenches, it’s not your fault. You close your lips rolling your eyes, which earns another slap from your pussy.

“ahh toj—“ not finishing your sentence before he slaps your clit again and again, until he’s pinning you down to the mattress. Your legs spread and shaking as he’s slapping your red puffy lips, more juices leak out, clawing at his arm.

“ahhh s-stop stop! okay!” You’re sobbing, legs shaking as your pussy pulses. Toji’s looming body waits for you to finally answer. The tears streaming down your flushed cheeks, as Toji’s dick twitches agaisnt your thigh. His cock dropping with pre cum. Your panting, eyes dazed as you feel the shadow of his palm. Toji realizes your play. Laughing as he gives your pussy another slap, extracting a moan.

“fucking with me now?” Toji tsks, pumping his fingers inside your pussy before pulling out and slapping your clit until your bucking your hips up, nails digging into his arm.

“w-wanna ahh please—pleasee,” your words are incoherent, drool slipping from your lips as you bury your face in your hand trying to cover your loud screaming moans as toji abuses your cunt. his lips attack yours, excitement filling his blood as you cry and moan, thrashing with each slap.

“cute baby,” toji drools into your mouth, your eyes crossing in pleasure, as your tongue hangs out.

Toji’s laughing at how easily he handles you. Your all, but as much as he talks about punishing you, he relishes in the fact that you’re begging for more. His fingers are completely drenched in your arousal.

“want your neighbors to hear how big of a slut their little journalist is?” Toji laughs as your pussy tightens around his fingers at his lewd words. “Gonna cum now?”

“uhh ji-san , ahh please,” your thoughts were scrambled, and he was not letting up. Feeling you clench around him, hips bucking up, as he degrades you. Your off the edge now, crying as your legs shake uncontrollably, gushing around his fingers.

“shit,” Toji’s hips buck in surprise at the liquid that hit his lower stomach. “oh fuck, puppy, making a mess,” Toji’s lips curl into a wide grin, as you cry the more he rubs your clit, slapping it.

“toji toji—ah—I can’t—“ your panting as your legs jump up, more squirt gushing onto him the more he overstimulates you.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Oh fuck, let it out, cmon doing so well,” Toji’s praises were pure joy. He couldnt hold it anymore, his hand lacing around yours as he hooks an arm under your thigh as he sinks his fat cock into your gushing pussy.

“toji!” You cry, squeezing his hand, as his lips swallow your cries. Toji groans in pleasure as he rocks his hips into you. The amount you came, had him sinking into your pussy. The squelching noises faded as he drinks your cries.

“Still so fuckin tight ‘for me,” toji thrusted back in, getting more of his cock, until he bottomed out. Your eyes widened feeling him so deep inside you. Your lips trembled, vision blurry.

“toji, inside—me,” you were beyond fucked out. a lazy smile on your lips as toji kissed you again and again as he fucked you into the mattress. His heavy balls slapping the curve of your ass, a ring of cream at the bottom of his thick dick, his hair covered in your juices as your moans drowned out his worries. You were here, you were with him. Your voice, cries, touch, smell.

“baby,” toji bit your shoulder, marking you again. “feel so good,” Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, you were unbelievably happy you couldn’t process anything he was saying. “missed you, too.” He sighed. Your nails creating marks across his back as toji planted himself, driving harder.

“ to’ji…agh…uhh—“ your walls suffocated his cock, sucking him in as your eyes fluttered, gushing around his thick member.

“shit, again baby,” toji picked up the speed as you made a mess, crying when he went on.

“toji, fill me…up,” you beg, toji groaning at your words. “want ‘ur c-cum,” your lips were parted as toji’s tongue entered your mouth. You felt his cock twitch inside you.

“can’t do that, baby,” Toji’s jaw clenched as he finally got to the edge, kissing you until his lips parted in bliss letting out a low moan, cock pulling out as his hot white cum shot out of his tip, decorating your pussy lips and lower stomach. More of your cum squeezed out as Toji groaned, stroking his cock, releasing some more cum.

your eyes were fluttering as toji, kissed your cheek.

“did so good for me,” toji praised as he brushed your sweaty hair off your face.

“toji,” your lips curled into a gentle smile, toji felt his eyes widen realizing he was so focused on fucking you, that he didn’t have time to process what you’d been saying.

“no san?” He smiled, your eyes fluttered.

“I—“

“I like it,” he kissed your lips. “you made quit the mess though,” toji was exhausted, but it was you. He picked you up and walked you to the bathroom. Sitting you down on the counter as he placed a towel under the warm water.

“i wanted you to cum inside me,” you mumble as toji wipes the mess between your legs. His eyes lifting up to meet yours. was it bad that you wanted his cum to paint your walls and leak out. I mean you didn’t want a baby, but you wanted him.

“you were fucked out, puppy,” toji said, rinsing the towel again and wiping your stomach.

“but…” you looked away, pouting in annoyance. “would’ve felt good.” toji laughed at your response. Making you click your tongue.

“it definitely would have,” he wiped the mess on his stomach. you watched, as your legs kicked. he rinsed the towel again, wiping down his wet dick. Your foot swinging up to brush his dick. Toji caught your foot, just lifting it up enough to spread your legs again, which had you wincing.

“don’t start something you can’t finish,” he tsked, dropping your leg and picking you up. you buried your face in his neck not replying. “ignoring me?”

“no,” you mumbled quietly. toji hums , kicking the messy blanket onto the ground, luckily you had another blanket underneath.

toji sighed as he watched you avoid his eyes once he’d laid you back on the bed.

“you’re a handful you know that?” He said, making you roll over, covering yourself in the blanket. “god,” toji grumbled, as he straddled your body, which immediately caught your attention. His thumb holding your chin as he leaned down to your lips.

“I didn’t fill you up cuz you’re not on the pill, baby. if you want me spilling inside your little cunt, then I’ll do it next time,” your eyes sparkled.

“next time!” You repeated excitedly.

“only if you take something,” toji sank under the covers with you. You rolled over, leg swung over his lap as your buried your face on his shoulder, immediately knocking out.

“are you serious?” Toji spoke to himself. You did knock out easily the first time he fucked you. I guess it was your thing. Yawning himself, he kept a secure arm wrapped around your body, as his other hand brushed your hair. so cute. he thought finally knocking out.

toji couldn’t describe this feeling. but he knew he never wanted to live without it. the feeling of waking up and seeing you sprawled out beside him. once again laying on your stomach, facing away from him, lips parted as drool slipped out. toji felt your leg buried under his own and your other bent. you did not know how to sleep beside people.

“how do you end up like this?” toji mumbled to himself, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. his scar curled with his lips, as he turned on his side, reaching over your body to grab his phone on your nightstand. checking the time. he’ll pick and tease you, but in the end waking up beside you was just pure joy for him.

snapping a picture of you sprawled out, he tossed his phone aside, it was still early. He let his warm palm run across your exposed back. lips connecting to your shoulder as he sighed. He buried his face in your shoulder, inhaling your natural scent as he kissed your neck. yes, this was perfect. holding you in his arms, embracing you with only comfort and adoration.

“stay,” he sighed. stay with him forever.

✵ just tagged sum ppl that commented on the last post — thxs

✵ tags: @watyousayin @bbyxxm @szillx @tojimipapi @mochuchi @thirstyforjeann @xenoosblog @m00dycr4nkybitc @t4naiis @rinnakunatta @nishipostitz @obeythemasters @saekokittiez @levixbby

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔’𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐎 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐙𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 .ᐟ

feat: dazai, chuuya, fyodor

ꨄ˙ CW(s): gn! reader, mentions of alcohol (reader is drunk)

ꨄ˙ SYNOPSIS: in which you drink too much and don't even realize that your boyfriend is your boyfriend or you might as well be drunk in love

in the dimly lit bar, the air was filled with laughter and the clinking of glasses. you found yourself swirling the remnants of a colorful cocktail, the room around you blurring as the night progressed.

DAZAI sits beside you, and couldn't help but notice your flushed-pink demeanor, fueled by the drinks you had consumed, and giggles to himself.

in your tipsy state, you tilt your head, looking at dazai with a playful suspicion. the room spun slightly, and you sway on your seat, trying to focus on his face.

"you know," you slur, "you're a suspicious stranger. i bet you've got some secret agenda." you point an accusing finger at him, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

dazai, amused by your playful accusations, couldn't help but giggle even more, "oh, do i now? well, i'm just a harmless 'stranger' who happened to find the most adorable drunk person in the entire bar."

you raise an eyebrow skeptically, still not recognizing him, "adorable, huh? well, mr. stranger-fanger, you're gonna have to prove it." you cross your arms, a challenging smirk on your flushed face.

dazai, seizing the opportunity, wraps his arms around you with a mockingly serious expression, "see? no danger here, just a guy who appreciates adorable drunks."

you broke into a fit of giggles, melting into his embrace, "well, you're not that bad for a stranger, i guess."

completely unaware that the 'stranger' was, in fact, your boyfriend, you continued to enjoy the whimsical dance of laughter and teasing, creating a memory that would undoubtedly be cherished in the days to come.

"i'm gonna be serious though, i am your boyfriend," dazai says to you.

you blink softly at him, your tipsy-drunk state had somehow lead you to look at him as such. dazai blinks back before a grin starts to tug on his lips.

"do i have to remind my dearest? well, then. buckle up because you're in for a treat!" he says before he instantly starts peppering your face in kisses as he holds you tightly.

you immediately start to squeal and giggle as you are reminded of the constant kisses that your boyfriend would give you admist the alcohol in your system.

"osamuuu!" you say in a soft whine before he pecks your lips.

dazai grins even more widely at your cute little whine as he cups your face now, "that's more like it. goodness, such an adorable drunk you are, hmm?"

CHUUYA watches with a mix of concern and amusement as your cheerful demeanor transformed into a tipsy state.

as the night wore on, chuuya decides it was time to take you home. he gently placed his gloved hand on your shoulder, trying to capture your attention, "hey, it's getting late. how about we head home?" he suggests, his voice warm and caring.

however, in your inebriated state, you misinterpreted the situation. you gasp sharply before you squirm in your seat and whine softly, "nooo, i'm having so much fun here! plus, you can't take me home! i have a boyfriend!"

chuuya was flabbergasted, but he couldn't help but chuckle at your resistance afterwards upon seeing this, "come on, baby, i'm not a stranger. i'm your boyfriend, and I just want to make sure you get home safely."

now it's you blinking softly, looking at him with a mix of confusion and innocence, "boyfriend? really?" you giggle, completely unaware of the true nature of your relationship.

"you're being so silly right now, i almost can't with you," chuuya sighs, still laughing softly, "geez, i didn't know my baby can be this forgetful with this much alcohol."

undeterred, chuuya continued to coax you gently, his amusement growing as you stare at him in awe as you begin to pat his cheeks in your warm hands, "this pretty face is all mine?"

chuuya chuckles again, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks as he takes your hands in his before leaning in to press a lingering kiss on your lips and whispering, "i'm all yours, baby."

the night unfolded in a blend of laughter, warmth, and the endearing challenge of convincing you that the 'stranger' was, in fact, the person who cared for you the most, and you couldn't help but giggle even more into the kiss.

FYODOR observes your increasing intoxication with a measured gaze, a sense of concern clouding his usually composed demeanor.

as the night unfolds, you continued to enjoy the array of drinks that nikolai had generously provided you two. fyodor, recognizing the potential consequences, decided it was time to intervene. he places a hand gently on your arm, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

"dear, perhaps it's time to slow down," fyodor suggests, his voice calm and measured as he tries to get you to stop.

you looked at him with a tipsy grin, oblivious to the fact that fyodor was your boyfriend, "but nikolai is just being generous. no harm in a few more, riiight?"

fyodor's piercing gaze held a mixture of concern and determination, "i'd rather not see you regretting this tomorrow. let's enjoy the night responsibly," he insists, attempting to guide you away from the tempting allure of more drinks.

however, in your intoxicated state, you resisted his efforts, misinterpreting his intentions, "oh, come on! live a little, stranger!" you playfully tease, unaware that fyodor was the person you were romantically involved with.

fyodor couldn't help but hide a small smile at your playful antics, though he inwardly feels a twinge of sadness at being referred to as a stranger, maintained his composure.

he observes you with a subtle sadness in his eyes, a fleeting emotion that betrayed the depth of his feelings. still, he wasn't one to give up easily.

with a gentle touch, he cupped your face, making you meet his gaze, "remember, i'm the one who cares deeply for you," he murmurs with a faint smile, his eyes staring in yours.

"i may be a stranger in this particular scenario, but i am not to you," fyodor replies softly, realizing that your drunken state was proving to be a barrier. yet, he didn't relent.

the realization began to dawn on you, your intoxicated mind slowly connecting the dots, "wait a minute... you care about me? really?"

fyodor nods, his eyes holding a mixture of hope and longing, "more than you can imagine."

you blink softly, still processing the situation through the haze of alcohol. before you could react, fyodor leaned in, pressing a soft and lingering kiss against your lips. the touch was tender yet filled with an unspoken depth of emotion, an attempt to bridge the gap that had momentarily separated you.

as the kiss unfolded, a subtle warmth spread through you, and the fog of intoxication seemed to lift momentarily. the taste of familiarity mingled with the hint of sadness, creating a poignant moment that transcended the blurred boundaries of the night. fyodor then pulls away, his gaze searching yours for any signs of recognition.

there was a pause, a moment of suspended realization. slowly, your eyes widened, and a spark of recognition flickered within them. "wait," you whisper, your voice carrying a mix of surprise and clarity as you smile. "you're not a stranger, only my fedya kisses me like that!"

a soft smile tugged at the corners of fyodor's lips as the weight of being called a stranger lifted. the kiss had served as a catalyst, a bridge that connected the fragments of memory scattered in the alcohol-induced haze.

"my, my, how could you forget your fedya, dear?" fyodor sighs, shaking his head before he kisses your lips again and whispers, "traitor.."

ꨄ˙ A.N.: i feel like i might have written fyodor in an ooc-ish way, and if i did, i apologize !! haven't written for him in so long and i don't write for him as often as dazai and chuuya. this is also kinda silly i think now that i've finished writing this lol !! thank you so much for reading until the end (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

suit and tie :P

─  The two of you have argued before, there was nothing new or strange about it. Sometimes, though not very often, you'd get upset at something he had said or done. He’d act without thinking, or speak without consideration; words sharpened by negligence, actions spurred on without thought. 

Like a wheel that is fated to see no end, spinning and turning on its axis — over and over, again and again — you watch the cycle of anger unfold. He’d drag a hand across his face and tell you to stop overreacting. You’d get irritated and he’d change his tone with you. Lower. Stricter. Harsher. 

“This was nothing” or “That didn’t mean anything,” — “You’re overthinking,” he’d say. 

And though it was a vicious cycle, patient and damning, you’d learned to adapt to its maliciousness; to the parts of it that drew out the worst in you. You’ve molded yourself to its shape and tried to understand where it stemmed from. Twisting and turning, pulling and pushing — the worst parts of him met the miserable parts of you.

You tried. You really did try. 

But the carelessness in which he'd started to approach said arguments was new, and his dismissive manner was starting to thin your patience. 

He ignores you as you walk behind him, trying to keep up with his long strides in the heels you’d worn for the night. 

“Why won’t you listen to me?” You plead with him as he stops abruptly at the penthouse door, shoving the key into the slot aggressively. You were getting tired of arguing about the same thing — worn out from having to bring it up so often. Why wouldn’t he listen? Why did he refuse to understand?

The door had just barely closed behind you, when he turns around, slamming the wall beside your head with a heavy hand. 

“Enough.” 

Ran’s eyes are filled with fury and impatience as he stares down at you. A terrible rage fills his lavender hues and you hesitate. There was no room for your anger in this house. No room for you when he was so domineering and present. He’s never been this loud with you — has never been so upset or mean. His tone startles you. 

And though you’ve argued before, though you’ve disagreed at times, you find that you don’t know how to deal with his anger — anger that has never been directed towards you to this extent. You just don’t know. 

It’s unsettling. There's a hole in your chest that is torn open, a passiveness settling inside.

You’re upset that he has consistently brushed you and your concerns off to the side. You’re upset that your worry had been interpreted as childish jealousy. You’re upset that the only time he had decided to take you seriously was to yell at you — to shut you up. 

He runs a hand through his hair as he pulls back and heads to the kitchen, shrugging off his suit jacket and throwing it onto the couch. He leans against the counter and lights a cigarette in an attempt to calm his nerves. 

He'd expected you to start crying — half expected you to apologize even. You never liked fighting with him. He was never one to blow any argument out of proportion either. But this — this had to stop. No matter how many times he’d dismissed it, no matter how many times he’d told you not to worry about it, you still brought her up. Enough was enough. He looks up at you briefly, eyes flickering towards you as he exhales. 

There's a blank look in your eyes, a fragmentation he couldn’t understand. It felt as though you were looking through him. The parts of you that sought to intertwine with him and understand — that hollowed themselves out to make room for him — they fall back in defeat. 

Your eyes aren't glassy; they don’t even sparkle. 

He clenches his jaw and looks away. Guilt and haunt reach for his throat, as he shakily exhales the smoke.

You turn around, hand reaching for the wall as you bend to unclasp your heels. The right shoe comes off first. The left one follows after. He watches as you walk away with the shoes in your hand, fingers threading through the straps.

You don't say a word. He doesn't hear you make a sound.

The cold air of the restroom makes you aware of the slight wetness on your cheek. You stare at your reflection and you can’t help but wonder if the woman in the mirror was in the wrong. Were her feelings misguided by insecurity? Was her envy so green and her thoughts so vile? You tell her not to worry; that it’ll all be alright. You stare at your bruised toes as you fidget and sigh. You don’t even have it in you to cry.

You spend time with the other woman, washing away her fury; cleaning her anguish. Her breathing has steadied and she watches you from beyond the mirror as you wipe at your face, baring yourself to her. She’s satisfied and you turn your back on her temporary satisfaction, slipping into a loose dress and finding your place on the bed. 

He hasn’t bothered to come check up on you. To apologize to you.

 You push her nagging voice out of your head, stretching your legs out and picking up your phone instead. You scroll mindlessly for a minute or so before you decide to call a friend. It’ll help distract you, you think. You’ll call your dearest friend and she’ll make you laugh. You’ll laugh and you’ll smile and the filth encompassing your heart will wither away at your joy. 

Yes, that’s it. That’s exactly what you’ll do. 

“Hello?” She says. 

“Hi.”

“Are you okay?”

Silence from your end. 

A minute. Then two. 

“Ah, I get it. Do you want me to pick you up? We can go eat somewhere.”

“Yes, please.” You aren’t hungry at all. She knows that too. 

“Give me 20 minutes, I’m finishing up a shift right now.”

“Okay.”

More silence, this time from her end. Another minute. Another two. 

“Did he…he didn’t hurt you, right?”

You shake your head, the rustling making its way over to her end. 

“No, never. Not physically at least.” You try to smile, but the other woman insists on tugging at the corners of your mouth, pulling them down.

‘Break,' she says. ‘Break and ruin,' she wants to scream. 

You hear a dramatized sigh of relief through the phone.

“Ah, thank God. That bastard scares the shit out of me, honestly. But I’ll kill him if he ever lays a hand on you, you know that, don’t you?” 

You laugh and she smiles. 

“He wouldn’t, I promise. He isn’t so bad.”

“You’re not seriously defending him right now, are you?” 

You find it in you to laugh a little harder. She bids you a temporary farewell and you feel a little lighter. This is okay. It'd be okay if you both took a break…if you were separated from one another for a little — just until you were both able to calm down and think things through. 

You stand and rummage through your nightstand, putting a few things in the nearest tote bag and pulling it up over your shoulder. A light cardigan is folded over your arms as you quietly leave the bedroom. Ran is still in the kitchen, leaning over the island as he wipes a hand over his face. There's a glass of water beside him. You think he's trying to sober up, even though he didn't drink much at all. 

He looks up at the sound of your feet against the tile and his eyes soften at the sight of you. He’d been waiting for you to come out of the room, not wanting to push you too far. Still, you won't meet his gaze. 

It’s then that his line of sight falls to the bag on your shoulder. Panic fills the emptiness he’d been left with since you’d walked away. 

"What're you…No, wait a second. Hold on —"

He rounds the corner and slowly approaches you.

"Wait, we can talk about this."

Your brows furrow as you slip on your shoes, voice soft as you respond. 

"You said you didn't want to anymore."

Defeat, he thinks. Defeat is what laces your tone…like you’ve given up on him. On you and him.

"No,” He shakes his head as he steps a little closer to you. “We can talk about it. Let's talk about it, baby."

His eyes are trying to read you in a panicked frenzy, but still, you won't look at him. You take a step back, grip tightening on the strap of your bag.

“I think,” you bite your lip, brows furrowing as you try to find the right words. “I think it's best if I spend the night somewhere else."

“Fuck no.” 

You hold a hand out, a weak attempt at stopping him from getting any closer. He steps forward. You step back. He reaches out for you and you deny him. 

“Come on, love. Please.” 

What you say next comes out of you so quietly — so dismissively — had he not been so close to you, he might’ve missed it. You find it in you to finally meet his gaze as you utter the word. 

"Enough."

His karma comes in the form of six letters — the ones he’d spat at you so harshly less than an hour ago. But you’re still kind, even now. How quietly the word tumbled from your lips, how beautiful you were in all your anguish. His karma grins at his misery, and rejoices at his self-induced tragedy. 

"Please," he begs.

How pitiful. How cruel.

He grips your wrist when you turn to open the door, caging you in between his arms.

"Don't," he pleads.

You try to turn in his arms, tugging at his rolled-up sleeves, nails scratching at tattooed skin. His biceps flex as he holds you to him tighter. Closer. Don’t go. Don’t leave. You feel the rise and fall of his chest behind you — the racing of his heart as he holds you against him. You sigh, deciding to ease his mind. 

"I’ll come back, Ran. Just one night.” 

"No, no. Don't walk out on me."

He shakes his head at the thought, in misery and denial at its implication.

“I'm sorry."

He apologizes and you freeze in his hold, fingers stilling against his forearms. 

“I'm sorry," He says again. "I won’t raise my voice at you again. I'll never talk to her again. Won't even look at her, baby. I’ll cut all ties right now. Please just don’t go."

He keeps one arm wrapped around you as he reaches for his back pocket, pulling his phone out in the process. You blink, watching as he brings the device over to you, his fingers unlocking the screen as he looks over your shoulder, chin propped against you. You watch as he removes her from his Facebook. You watch as he blocks her on Instagram. You watch as he goes to delete her number. It’s then that you start to cry. You cry so hard, your shoulders tremble and your hands shake. You cry and you cry until you're overcome with the urge to vomit.

“Don’t cry, love. Don’t cry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

How did he let it get this bad? To ignore the pleas and worries of the one that gave him reason and meaning for the sake of maintaining a business relationship he didn’t give a shit about ─ To brush your pain off for the sake of an organization that only brought him misery...The twisted cynicism was almost laughable. Over and over, you'd asked him to listen to you. And over and over, he’d dismissed you.

It's his fault. It's all his fault.

No one else but him. 

His arms fall to his sides and he stands there, watching you.

You wipe at your cheeks haphazardly. His hands tremble as you step back. 

"All I asked was for you to establish clear boundaries with her."

Your hands shake as you point an accusatory finger at him. Your breathing falters, salty tears meeting your tongue as you try to find your words.

The other woman licks at your wounds. 'Destroy him,' she says. ‘Leave him,’ she whispers. You dig your nails into the skin of your palm at the violence of her words.

"But you made me seem like I was crazy for wanting that."

His eyes widen as he stares at you.

No longer covered in the green of her envy and guilt, she lines you with her red. You become one with your sorrow and fury. 

"Why couldn't you establish one simple boundary until I was about to walk out? What kind of girlfriend is supposed to be okay with seeing another woman press herself up against her boyfriend?"

You quiet for a moment, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand and his heart breaks at the sight of your stuttered breathing and tear-stained face.

"Cutting her off means nothing. Not when you brushed me off every time I brought it up.”

“Love ─,” 

You cut him off, mumbling to yourself as you pick at the skin of your nails. 

"God forbid someone even looks my way. But with you —" you snort and it's void of any emotion. 

His face darkens at that. 

"Watch your mouth," He steps closer.

You look away.

Lithe fingers grip your jaw tightly, forcing you to look up at him — into his eyes. Eyes that only desire you, that only love and lust after you. You, you, you. Always you. Only you.

She was nothing more than an old Bonten business partner, but you? You were everything.

He presses his lips to yours. Neither of you wavers in closing your eyes, the haziness of his own meeting with the anger in your irises, but he kisses you anyway. He kisses you and he kisses you. You don't kiss back.

The bag slips off your shoulder and you move to lift it back up. He refuses to let go of your jaw, lips moving against yours as he speaks.

"I love you."

"Liar," you whisper against him.

He groans and kisses you harder.

"God, I love you."

You shake your head in his grip but his hands are firm, squeezing your cheeks lightly, forcing your lips into a subtle pout. 

"Get this shit off already." He pulls your bag down to the floor and throws you over his shoulder.

“I don’t want to stay here tonight.” 

“Yeah? Where exactly were you gonna go?” He squeezes your hip as he walks towards the bedroom. He knows the answer, knows you would’ve been safe had you actually left. You might have smiled more tonight had he let you go with your friend; might’ve been spared of the tears you’d shed instead. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let you go. 

You rub at your eyes in exhaustion. 

“I’m not sleeping beside you. I don’t want you.”

He smacks your ass harshly before sliding a palm beneath your slip, stroking the skin gently.

"You're a liar, baby."

Please be lying, baby. 

You grip his shirt to keep from falling.

"I hate you,” You whisper out. 

He tightens his hold on your waist.

"No, you don't, princess."

His voice is low, strained. He prays you don’t hear the tremble in his tone. 

He sits you down onto the bed, kneeling before you on the floor. You go to pull your legs up but he stops you, palms gripping your ankles as he places his forehead onto your knees. 

“Don’t leave me.” 

The room is quiet, save for the low hum of the humidifier he’d forgotten to turn off before the two of you left. It’s a steady sound — soothing in its own right. You don’t say anything as his fingers rub at your calves, as he nuzzles his face into your skin.  

"I’ll do anything.” 

You’re stunned into a deeper silence, staring down at him in shock. It’s laughable really, how terrifying he is to others. Tall and threatening, dark eyes and a prideful smile — the Bonten executive’s standing was respected by most. Feared by all. 

And here he is, kneeling before his girlfriend, begging her to stay. 

You bring a hand down to brush through lavender strands, releasing a shaky breath, as you play with his hair. You speak and your voice is soft, not disturbing the still air around you. He freezes, listening intently. 

“She’s in love with you.” 

He can’t help the slight sound of indignation that he lets out. 

“No, she’s not. She’s just-”

“Just a business partner. I know.”

There’s a tremble to his hands as he leans forward on his knees, hiding his face in your lap as he grips your waist tight. 

“I’ll talk to the rest of the executives tomorrow, we’ll find someone else to ─”

You shake your head.

“That’s not what I’m asking from you.”

He looks up at you in confusion, fingers tight against your hips. 

“Then what?”

“I can’t —” You whimper and his heart breaks. “I can’t be with you if she’s going to disrespect me like that, if you’re going to let her disrespect me like that, every time we see her.” 

He watches you with a certain softness in his eyes as he climbs up onto the bed beside you. 

“What’re you talking about, baby?”

“Is it okay for her to touch you like that? You’re okay with that?” 

You pull away from him, folding your legs up to the side as you pick at a piece of lint on the comforter. 

He hadn’t thought much of it. The woman in question had been a long-time Bonten business partner, she’d known most of the executives for a decade. Her behaviors and antics, they were all used to it by now, aware that they had to put up with it to build a false sense of trust, to lul her company into an aura of security. Of all the execs to take a liking to, she’d chosen your boyfriend. Expensive nails that didn't belong to you were often wrapped around his bicep during events, and you’d watched off to the side ─ hoping, wishing that he’d say something. Anything. 

But nothing ever came out. Nothing was ever said. 

And you’d taken the brunt of it. Time and time again. 

“I can’t ruin Bonten’s relationship with her,” He had said once, the first time you ever brought it up. “Her company is a pivotal part of our projects.”

Watching her wipe the wine stain from his lips tonight, with you seated right beside him ─ it made you wonder how far she’d gone when you weren’t around. How far she was willing to go? How far would he let her go?

You look away at the thought. The light catches onto your tear stained cheeks and he hates himself.

He furrows his brows as he stares at the pattern you were making on the comforter, the trail your fingers created and left behind. He eyes the bruised skin of your cuticles and the chipped paint of your nails — a telltale sign of your anxiety. How had he missed that? He eyes the missing ring on your right hand and his breath hitches. When had you taken that off?

He feels sick. He’d noticed that you’d declined to go with him to Bonten events as of late. You stopped attending, telling him you were too tired. Too busy. “Another time,” you’d say. “Another time,” he’d smile and agree, kissing your forehead before he made his way out and left you alone. 

You’d lied to him to keep from arguing about this anymore, to keep yourself from doubting him. You’d lied and he’d fallen for it — thinking nothing strange of your behavior. And when you’d finally given in, deciding that you missed your boyfriend and that it was well within your right to go out to dinner with him — you had to sit and watch idly as she sat on the other side of him. On this cruel and unforgiving evening, you’d watched as she touched him and stared at him. You’d listened as suggestive jokes were exchanged and loud laughter was thrown across the table. You'd watched with a quiet that only the broken could understand. He’s a fool for not pulling your hand back into his once you’d pulled it out — an idiot for not following after you when you’d excused yourself to go to the restroom. He’s a moron for not seeing the hurt that you were in and the knives that dragged through your skin as he turned a blind eye. 

Cold metal is pressed to your skin and you shiver at the feeling of his rings against your cheek. His eyes carry a sadness you don’t recognize. 

“You’re my woman. You.” 

“Then act like it.” 

You move to your side of the bed, turning off your light as you send your friend a text. You’ll explain everything when you see her, you say. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.’ 

—

You sleep with your back facing him that night. Ran can’t find it in him to sleep at all. He’s scared, terrified that you’ll try to leave in the middle of the night — that you’ll leave just as wordlessly as you let your pain settle into your bones, and that he wouldn’t notice again. 

He’d been too careless with you recently. Too comfortable and neglectful. 

You turn in your sleep, unconsciously facing him, and he leans up on his arm to watch you. Carefully, gently, he lifts your hand up to meet his lips. Soft kisses are pressed to your knuckles and cuticles, to your palm and wrist. 

You don’t stir. 

He leans over to press a kiss to your forehead before it becomes too much for him. He’s overwhelmed and it hurts. It hurts to know that you hurt, and it hurts to know that you hurt because of him. 

Ran sits up and heads over to the living room, closing the door behind him quietly. 

He leans his head back against the couch, arm coming up to cover his eyes. A part of him thinks it’s ridiculous for a man of his power and standing to get worked up over his girlfriend like this. The other part of him doesn’t understand. He’d never been one for long-term relationships. Commitment had never been the issue either. They were just too much. Too much to deal with, too much work to be done — to care and to have to care, to trust, and to be trusted. It was all too much. He never bothered with the matter in its entirety.

But then he met you. And he’d asked you to stay. So you did. 

Caring came naturally to him then. Loving was even easier.

He sits alone in this dark room and thinks about you and him. He thinks and he hurts, and he's reminded of the words Sanzu had thrown at him last night. Ran is more than ashamed.

— 

“You’re losing her.”

“What’re you on about?” He had said, lighting his coworkers cigarette before leaning back to light his own. 

Sanzu had gestured to where you were standing, away from the crowd. You had an arm loosely wrapped around the street pole as you watched the Tokyo night traffic, waiting for your boyfriend to take you home. 

“She doesn’t look too happy.”

He frowns at Sanzu’s words, irritated by his comment. For an outsider to speak on his relationship with you, for another man to act like he could read you (and for him to be right about it too), Ran’s blood boils as he crushes the cigarette between his foot. He'd turned to look at you then, at the blank look on your face, wondering briefly just how much you kept to yourself. You had smiled weakly when he took your hand and led you to the garage. You said nothing else for the rest of the car ride. Until he prodded at you. Until it was too much for you to ignore. Until you came to the conclusion that should he want any other woman, you’d rather he let go of you first. Let me go, let me go, let me go. If I’m not enough, please let me go. 

He’d gotten pissed at you for that and had sped up his walking once the two of you got out of the car. The front desk personnel lowered their gazes as the two of you walked into the building, and you had quieted down out of respect for your relationship. 

─

His stomach churns and he soaks in his self-hatred. You could've reassured her. Could've held her hand a little tighter, could've kissed her a little longer. You fool. He hopes it isn’t too late. He groans and leans forward, running his hands through his hair aggressively as he covers his face with his palms. 

He’s too in his own head to notice that you’d woken up — that you’d been standing nervously at the end of the hallway, watching him. He lets out a choked sound and your heart falls victim to his silent pleas. You make your way to him, silently asking to be let into his arms and onto his lap. He startles but quickly makes room for you, staring at you with wide eyes as you place yourself onto his thighs, settling against his chest. 

Loving arms wrap around his neck as you turn your face to his chest. Undeserving palms stroke your back, pulling you in by the waist, ever closer. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He stares down at you in shock at the words you’d chosen to utter. 

“What? What’re you –?” 

You look at him and the darkness accompanying his eyes ─ at the lilac hues rimmed with red and purple, and subtle traces of blue as his veins surface beneath his skin. He was tired. So tired. Fragile fingers stroke his cheek, finding their way to the fine lines around his mouth. His stubble pricks your palm as he nuzzles his face into your skin. It's fascinating to watch a man of his stature — a man of his strength and power — fall weak to your touch. He wonders if you knew that he’d give up all that he was for a chance at forever with you. The money didn’t mean shit and his position was for naught if it meant you were hurt — if it meant you would leave. ‘If you leave, take me with you,’ his core wants to cry out. His arms wrap around you tighter as he hides his face in your neck and you blink in surprise. 

“Why the fuck are you apologizing?” 

Your hands find the hairs at the back of his neck, twisting the black and lavender strands, tugging them gently beneath your fingers. 

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

He freezes. Your voice muffles against his hold. 

“I know you have obligations. I don’t want to get you in trouble.” 

Or worse, you want to say. I don’t want to get you killed over something so…

You shake your head at the thought.  

Even now, you’re still thinking of him? Even now, you’re putting him before you? He thinks it’d be fitting if he were to dig through the earth and call out to the devil himself. With bloody fingers and a dirty face, he’d call out and he’d say, ‘Come get me, come take me. This woman is too good for me.’

“I love you, I trust you. I won’t bring it up anymore.” 

You press a kiss to his throat, directly onto his tattoo, before you wrap your arms tighter around his neck, broad shoulders comforting you. He falls in love with you all over again. He keeps one arm firmly wrapped around your waist while the other trails up and down your thigh.

“Baby.”

You hum in acknowledgment, waiting for him to continue. 

He pries you off of him, gently setting you down in his place on the couch while you look at him in confusion. You settle into the warmth of where his body once was, watching him curiously. 

Ran kneels before you for the second time that night. His head is bowed slightly and his palms are flat against the cotton of his pants 

“This is all on me. Not you. I’m sorry, love.”

“Ran, get up.” 

You sit up, anxiously reaching for his arms but he shakes his head. 

“Please just listen." He swallows, gaze fixed on the ground. "I’m a real shit boyfriend. Put you through so much shit you shouldn’t have to deal with. I know you deserve better.” 

So much better. 

“But I love you. I need you. I’m selfish and fucked, but I need you. ”

You tilt your head at him as your lip quivers. His shoulders tremble slightly and you reach for his cheeks, hands on either side of his face as you lean forward. 

You kiss him then, for the first time all night. A languid kiss. ‘Feel all of me,’ it says. ‘Feel what you do to me.’ His brows furrow as he squeezes the skin of your thighs. You whimper against him and he smiles against your mouth, teeth touching, bones aching. 

He pulls you off of the couch by the waist and onto his lap as he embraces you. The two of you find refuge in the floor of the apartment. 

You stay on top, seated right on his hips as your tongue meets his. He bites the column of your throat and you tilt your head back in need, giving him access to the skin he wanted to mark.

“I belong to you,” he whispers against your skin. You sigh, fingers in his hair as he kisses and bites, as he licks and whines. He reaches for the palm you had spread against his jaw, moving it to his hips. 

“Ah, fuck.” 

He groans in your ear at the feeling of your skin against his, at the raw affection exchanged between the two of you. He missed you, he missed you — he doesn’t deserve you. You snap his train of thought in two as you slip your hand into his pants, watching the rise and fall of his sternum. You trail your eyes back to his face and find that he’s already staring at you. One arm reaches back for the collar of his shirt, and you fixate on the flex of his bicep as he tugs it off to reveal his chest.

“My woman,” he grunts. 

You nod distractedly, cheeks heating up at the intimacy. Something in him snaps when you slip the straps of your night dress off, lifting the hem to expose your underwear to him. 

“Shit, you’re —” He cuts himself off to slip the flimsy cloth to the side. You stroke him as he prods into you, moaning into each other's mouths, staring at each other with desperate eyes. Love and lust and need and want. He wants to fill you with all the words he couldn’t properly say. Again and again, he'd find you. Should he be damned to a fate where you aren't beside him, he'd spend forever looking for you ─ for the home he'd found within you. Never again would he let it get this bad. Never again will he make you feel unwanted or unloved. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful.” 

He kisses your chest, words vibrating against the skin as he speaks. 

“I’m sorry, pretty. I’m sorry.” 

“I forgive you.” you cry out as he touches you deeper, rubs at you faster. 

“Real shitty guy, aren’t I?” He lets out a strained laugh as your hand falters against him. “Not good for you, am I?”

You shake your head, eyes shut tight as a familiar feeling washes over you. 

“I – oh,” You cry out, unable to finish your sentence as you collapse in his arms.  “I love you. Please, please.”

“Please what, baby? What is it?” 

He lays you down, hovering over you as he bites at your lower lip, appreciating the curve and swell. 

You spread your legs and he swears. 

“Please.”

“Yeah. Shit, yeah. Anything for you.” 

He can’t find it in him to strip you completely. You don’t care enough that his pants are still somewhat on. But with each snap of his hips, he finds you and you find him. 

He’s a sorry excuse of a person, a vindictive, hurtful soul. A damaged man with the world at his feet and his heart in your hands. He’d handed it to you himself with a hammer in tow. Should he ever go too far — crush his very spirit and rid of him of whatever is left of his soul. 

But he knew. He knew that he’d be forced to sit and watch as you tenderly held the flesh. He’d sit with his legs crossed and his cheek in his palm, watching as you soothed the erratic pulsing.

‘What about the dark spots?’ He had wondered. ‘The filth and the corrupted gloom. How will she handle that? Will she throw them out? Look at them in disgust and try to change them?’

(He receives his answer time and time again — answered over and over by the one person who didn’t realize they were even being questioned.) 

He'd watched as you held his heart, with all of its twisted calamities, and placed it right against yours — as if it wasn't stained, as if it wouldn't taint you for as long as you stood. And for the first time in a long, long time, Ran Haitani had resisted the urge to cry. 

—

He doesn’t let you go as you try to get up from off the floor. 

“I didn’t pull out,” He mumbles. “That’s my bad.” 

“I know,” You whisper back, into the darkness of the room.

“Are you baby trapping me?” He lifts an eyebrow, cracking one eye open as he grins at you.

“You’re the one that wouldn’t let me go, perv.” 

You flick his forehead and he laughs beside you lazily. The two of you are eye to eye and a complete mess at that. 

“I need to go clean up,” you say when he shoots his hand out to your wrist to stop you from standing. 

“No, I want to go again.”

“You’ll fall asleep midway.” 

He grins and you laugh. 

“Hey.”

“Hm?” There’s still a hint of a smile on your face as you pull your gown back into place.

“Tonight…” he turns to face you, eyes heavy with sleep. “I won’t let that happen again.”

You don’t look at him as you fiddle with the straps, tugging at them till they seem somewhat right.

“Look at me.” 

He sits and tilts your chin towards him. Hesitance. Worry. (And though you’ve forgiven him, there’s still pain in your eyes.) 

“I was in the wrong, and I hurt you for a long time. It won’t happen again.” 

You stare back into his eyes — into the aftermath of your apocalypse. You want to tuck him into your ribs, to cage him in and hold him tight. And though he was older and had lived a life that had picked him apart more times than he could count, you don’t think you have it in you to surrender him to the darkness. Your naivety has you following after him eagerly — no matter where he takes you, no matter where you go. You’d pick up the parts he threw out on the way, and you’d ease yourself into the emptiness of his soul. You’d placate his hunger for love and give him a place to belong. 

He stares at you, anxiously waiting for a response. All you can do is nod. 

He sighs in relief. You kiss his nose softly before you stand, giggling as he groans at your insistence on leaving the confines of his arms. He lays back down as you steady yourself, eyeing your hips before he reaches up to lift the hem of your nightgown, whistling when he eyes the damage he’d done.

“Nasty old man.”

He laughs and it’s full of life – filled with love and joy and you. 

“You're into nasty old guys?”

You laugh as you walk away, turning to look at him as he grins at you. 

“Just this one.” 

He groans as he gets up, long legs chasing after you as you run away. It’s late, much later than he ever liked to stay up. But he’s home. He’s in your arms as he lets you fall back onto the bed, rejoicing in your laughter as he attacks your stomach with sporadic kisses. You’re here, and he’s home. 

You lay on your side, holding him to you, as he nods off against your chest. A tattooed arm is thrown over your waist while the other falls slack near your thigh. The pain of the night lingers idly, wondering what will become of itself. You’ve killed the envy inside you, held hands with the fragility of the red woman that had insisted on coming out of you.

Ran Haitani is a large man, not small by any means. But underneath the prying moonlight, you think he looks vulnerable. Men of hurt will only know hurt, while the good of the world remains a foreign entity. He’s lucky, in that sense. There is a woman to hold him as he sleeps, a woman he trusts enough to fall victim to. And if he came home to you covered in blood from head to toe, covered in the sin of the world, baring the weight of their tragedy, he’d stare at you and say “Disgusting, isn’t it?” And he’d watch you shake your head, ‘No’.

“It isn’t so bad.”

➸ ask: “Hey! How about “one more kiss, please” from the prompt list for Jayce. I just need him desperately yearning for reader” – ➸ pairing: jayce talis x gn!reader ➸ word count: 1.3k ➸ tags: mdni! fluff, kissing, yearning, mutual pining, gender-neutral reader, no mention of y/n. ➸ notes: tysm for asking! ask came from this prompt!

You couldn’t count on ten fingers how many nights you dreamt of Jayce Talis, the Man of Progress himself. The image of him rattled through your mind at every waking hour, that stupid smile you always wanted to wipe from his lips with your own. 

What you hadn’t known was how he reciprocated the sentiment. Jayce would find you at your workstation, dirt on your face and welding goggles on as you carefully put together pieces that would host the hextech gemstones for further research. You had become a treasure to him, someone he could rely on when his days were busy, which were more often than not.

There were plenty of times you hadn’t been aware of his presence, he would stand in the doorway watching you work. Hearts for eyes and forcing himself to turn away before his heart ached too much, knowing that you weren’t his.

He yearned for you each day, staying up into the late hours, wondering if you felt the same.

How could you? You were too…perfect. 

It was the night of one of Piltover’s illustrious charity events that brought in only the richest of citizens. Any and all who put in their well-earned money for the academy, and you, had been invited by Jayce himself. Viktor had decided against it, not so much inclined to spend his night at another event when he could be spending his evening in the lab with Sky.

So, you took his spot – and you did not belong.

With your hand wrapped around an empty glass which once held a darkened liquor, you stood off to the side in the large area that had been decorated so elegantly. The tunes of the live music and sounds of chatter filled your ears, eyes looking amongst the swarm of rich Piltovians sharing conversation about gods knows what.

Jayce had been everywhere and nowhere, the Golden Boy was easily the most important icon of the evening. Everyone wanted to talk with him, ask about his research and his plans for improvement of the city. 

It was irritating to be stuck alone, but at least the invitation filled your stomach with top-shelf food and liquor you wouldn’t be able to afford yourself.

There Jayce stood amongst a group of rich folk, eating him up, just like you knew they would. He was surrounded, a big smile on his lips as he moved his way through each conversation with his natural knack of charisma. You wondered what he was talking about, watching his lips move as he spoke so goddamn passionately, hands flying with each word. 

His eyes connected with yours at one point, lingering on you for a quick moment with that stupid smile, before his attention was enraptured by another generous donor.

After a few more minutes of watching, you gave up. There was nothing else for you here.

Footsteps clicked along the surface of the tiled floors, the empty halls more inviting than the gala ever was. Your fingers dragged along the surface of the brick walls, the liquor having left you in just the perfect amount of bliss as you made your way home, knowing you could sleep the next day away.

“Hey!” A voice called from behind you, startling you with a soft gasp.

You snapped your head around, eyes widening when they settled on Jayce hurrying down the hall behind you. He wore a smile, wearing too fancy of clothing to be chasing you down.

“Why are you leaving?” He asked once he reached a few steps away of you, breathing a bit heavy, “Sorry… out of breath,” he chuckled through deep inhales, “I didn’t think I’d catch up to you.”

The thumping of your heart against your rib cage didn’t go unnoticed, stilled in silence over the fact that he chased after you. A tiny smile spread across your lips.

“It’s not really my style,” you finally replied, hands landing on your hips, “why do you care if I leave?”

“Why do I care?” Jayce’s eyebrows furrowed together, “because I invited you here. I… I want you here.”

You hated how sweet he was.

“You’re a busy man, Jayce,” you smiled, offering a slight shake of your head as you stepped toward him, better seeing him under the dim lighting of the empty hallways, “I’m not too fond of just standing around watching you get swarmed by every wealthy person from Piltover. As inviting as that sounds.”

He snorted out a laugh, eyes watching you closely as you stepped directly below one of the overhanging lights. It illuminated your features perfectly, made you appear like a glowing angel.

“So, you’re just going to leave me here by myself?” He asked, those big eyes of his making you want to melt right into the floor beneath you.

You laughed in disbelief, raising an eyebrow, “you’re not alone.”

“But I want you here,” he was adamant, eyebrows furrowing again, “come on. It’s not that bad.”

“You’re annoying,” you groaned, trying to act like this was worse than it was. You had a flair for the dramatics when you needed to pull something out from your sleeve, “I’ll see you tomorrow anyway, it’s fine,” you brushed him off with a wave of your hand, “plus, you’re going to be busy all night, so if I stay, I’ll end up getting drunk by myself and that’s never turned out well for me.”

Jayce’s eyes flickered over your face, studying your expression carefully. Neither of you had realized how close you had gotten, close enough that he could tuck back some of your hair behind your ear. The movement of his hand made you both tense up, a fleeting touch that he hadn’t realized he’d done. Fingers brushed against the shell of your ear as he pulled his hand away, redness tinting his cheeks.

“Oh, uh–” he forced out an awkward laugh, eyes now looking anywhere other than your face, “you had some hair… in your face.”

Lips parted, but you couldn’t speak. His touched left you stunned in place, eyes big as you watched him. You watched as his eyes focused somewhere along the walls, hands balling into tense fists and teeth biting at his lower lip.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or the late hour of the night, but you hadn’t the slightest care in the world anymore. All you wanted was Jayce, and it was his fault that he made you feel this way, so you were going to pull him into the mess that was you.

Even if it ruined the friendship you worked so hard to maintain, all these years.

His amber eyes landed back on you when he felt your hands reaching to his cheeks, cupping his face oh-so delicately. They widened as he watched you lean closer, noticing the way your gaze flickered down to his lips he’d been habitually chewing on all evening.

Jayce’s heart fluttered, and he acted on what felt right. Meeting you halfway and sighing when your lips touched after years of imagining what this would feel like. 

Both hands reached out for you, resting on your waist as he pressed forward. The kiss developed slowly, lips moving together a bit clumsily as your patience wore thin. Hands explored each other, touching hips and shoulders, and your tongue slipped from between your lips, and that’s when you froze.

“Fuck,” you whispered as you pulled back, taking a slight step away, “sorry–”

“No, don’t,” he whispered, closing the distance with a forward step until your chests were pressed together. He stared deep into your eyes, his own full of love as his gaze continued to flicker down to your lips that he needed to taste again, “one more kiss… please.”

You smiled like an idiot.

“Just one more,” you murmured, rolling your eyes affectionately, before he pulled you back into another kiss that took the breath from your lungs.

Jayce would be the death of you.

Two harmless rich people

twitter links | jjk

afab for all links ! disclaimer im poc, but only could find these videos and i hope thats not much of a problem :(. no non-con, rough sex in megumis and tojis, vanilla in choso, itadori and kento!

this idea is completely credited to @/fairyhub

link [fucking virgin choso for the first time ]

link [hate sex with ex! megumi]

link [edging subby! itadori]

link [riding bestfriend! getou]

link [gojo makes you wear the blindfold]

link [you and toji before a party]

link [passionate sex with kento]

link [megumi fucking you good]

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THEY COULD DO THAT TO ME ANY DAY AND I WOULD EVEN PAY THEM