I’m So Excitedddd 😩😩 Can’t Wait

THAT FUCKING PLOT TWIST. COP DAICHI IS ALSO YOU'RE YANDERE?! WELL SSHIIIITTTTTT THEM HANDCUFFS ARE ABOUT TO BE PUT TO USEEEEEEEEEEEE

RIGHT?? LIKE GODDAMN🥵 there needs to be more yandere of those two w one darling istg

Side note: don’t be surprised if you catch me thirstin’ on daichi/suga x readers bro. Those two plus yn = the unholy trilogy of fuck me up, daddy

HII I JUST WANTED TO SAY REBORN IS SO SO SO AMAZING!!! I love it sm I swear I’ve read it at LEAST 5 times now!! Thank you for creating such amazing stories, I’ve even gone read the ones about fandoms I know nothing about because you’re writing is so INCREDIBLE!!!!!! 💞💞💞

akcnkdndksndn this comment is so freaking sweet and I ain’t gonna forget it ever🥺☺️ I’m glad you’re liking what you see!!💜🥰

I don’t think your posts are showing up in the tags ): cause when I searched a couple of them from newest your new post wasn’t there

damn that sucks😔 but I also get it. It’s been a while since I posted so I understand why the tumblr algorithm wouldn’t put at the top of the tags no matter how recent I post. I’m just glad at least a few people got to read it and enjoyed it💜 thanks for telling me!!

His Mask (Kylo Ren x Reader/Soulmate AU)

*GIF not mine*

Summary: After your very first mission for the Resistance goes awry, you can’t help but feel a connection to the Supreme Leader sent to interrogate you. However, when he lets you go after reading the name on your wrist, you can’t help but feel like the mission hadn’t accidentally gone so wrong after all. 

A/N: So like… this was one of the dudes I’ve been drooling over for the past couple weeks. Just a warning, I’ve only watched the first movie of the prequels and even that was like four years ago, so I wish you luck. Kylo is just *mwah* so freaking pretty I couldn’t help myself. Enjoy my first fic about a *non-animated* person, and Merry Christmas y’all!

Word count: 4115

        Hot. Dark. Dank.

        The bag haphazardly shoved over your head blinded your eyes along with your other four senses. Stray hairs plastered to your forehead with ease thanks to the sweat you produced combined with the condensation from your own breaths.

        “Please, let me go,” you sniveled. “I don’t know anything, I swear.”

        Your hands flexed and tugged against the metal clamps strapped over your wrists, doing nothing but leaving behind a rash you yearned to soothe. The chair you were strapped into was more like a reclining board, leaving your head to rest on stiff metal while your feet hovered above the floor, ankles confined akin to your arms. 

        “I think you know more than you’re letting on.” The voice was gruff and modulated, giving signs that this was the masked man you oh-so wanted to be the last person to interrogate you. 

        It was frustrating and terrifying all at the same time. Not only did you have no idea what information they wanted to extract from your brain, you also knew your denial of such would only cause them to hound you more. 

        “Come on,” you whimpered, head slamming back with a clang. “Just let me go. Please.”

        Silence followed your words for a solid minute before a whoosh of fabric met your ears. 

        “Leave us,” the robotic voice mumbled, causing two or three heavy pairs of footsteps to trail out of the room. What you assumed was the door hissed to a close with one final click. 

        More footsteps, these ones drawing closer to you, left you only to tense up in anticipation as the heat of another person took the place of the stale air on your right side.

        The bag over your head was ripped away in an instant, causing you to gasp and swallow as much cool oxygen as possible. The light of the room stung your eyes less than you expected, most likely because it itself was dimmed with hues of deep blue climbing up the walls. 

        Taking in your surroundings, you immediately noticed your interrogator was nowhere near your field of vision--probably on purpose. 

        His presence, instead, was palpable behind you as the heat of his form rolled off in waves. 

        “There’s no one here to save you now.” 

        Though you didn’t need to be told that, the thought still drove a cold stake of fear through your heart. 

        “Come on, I don’t know anything,” you pleaded, shifting your position to try and stare at the man who seemed adamant on not allowing you even a glimpse of his form. 

        “Then perhaps I should stop bothering with the theatrics.”

        The man the Resistance had warned you about was… intimidating. At least you knew you could trust them about that fact. Black leather covered every inch of his powerful figure, save for his helmet and cape, and a lightsaber was strapped to his hip. Watching the way his hand twitched just near the handle of the weapon, you feared he would pull it out and slice you right in half any second. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears but it couldn’t silence his voice. Sweat dripped down your face and clammed your palms when his head tilted to the side. 

        He wasn’t shy about observing you, doing so for what felt like hours. 

        “What is your name?” he finally grunted out, posture never changing. You, on the other hand, twitched and shivered every few seconds, itching to crawl into a hole and never come out. 

        Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? Would he be able to know even if I did?

        This man held your fate in his hands. To him, you were just another prisoner to gain information from and deposit into the nearest waste planet when he was done.

        But to you, he was the man who could kill you without batting an eye. It didn’t matter if you were someone’s soulmate or daughter or friend; you were just someone who happened to get involved in this galaxy’s war. A poor soul among many this man was ready to sacrifice in order for him to gain power. 

        You were nothing but another bug to squash. 

        “YN,” you dropped your head to your chest, acknowledging your fate. “YN YLN. And I still don’t know any information that might-”

        Clang!

        You flinched as the lightsaber crashed onto the floor, following its path back to the shaking hand that had dropped it. The man before you now stood stiff as a board but you could hear him suck in a breath between his teeth.

        “Your name is-” he cut himself off and cleared his throat. “What’s your name again?” Unlike the last five minutes, his voice suddenly sounded less sure and demanding. He sounded unstable--one of the many emotions you never expected from one of the most feared people of the galaxy. 

        You hesitated, furrowing your brows before forcing your eyes to trail from his still-trembling hand to his mask. “It’s… YN.” You swallowed, licking your lips before continuing, “Why?”

        “Your wrist. Let me see it.”

        “What?” Suddenly, his every movement had your attention. You reared back in your chair and tensed all your muscles, trying even harder to rip straight through the solid metal. “No!”

        “Show me,” he ordered, his tone now sharper than a blade. 

        To hell with him.

        The second he reached for your hand, you ripped it away, keeping your wrist face down against the metal clasp he had unlocked to reach it. Just when he grasped your hand for the third time and tried to rip it away from your side, you did something that shocked both you and him out of the stupor of war. 

        Spit dribbled straight down the middle of his helmet, sparkling in the dim lighting of the room while trailing down every indent in the silver detailing around his eyes. 

        Oh shit. I’m fucked.

        Ever so slowly, he dropped your wrist and straightened his posture, facing his head towards something just off in the distance past your own. You bit your tongue and watched his every move with a hawklike focus, knowing that a man trained as much as him could kill you in a split second without you even realizing. 

        Even when his hand raised in what you expected to be the last backhand of your life, you never looked away or braced for impact. 

        So you grew confused when his hand traveled up to his mask, which came undone with a small hiss of pressurized air. 

        Oh. 

        Oh okay. 

        Wow.

        He was…. His hair was…. Damn.

        This man, the man before you, was hot. Beauty marks decorated his right cheek as hazel eyes burned into your own. A long, straight nose sat naturally lifted above lips that seemed too plump for their own good and dark brown curls that had never heard the words “helmet hair” just barely reached the end of a pointed chin--all of which made you consider your sanity. 

        How-… how?

        “Sorry about the helmet.” Nice one, YN. Apologizing to the enemy.

        His face never changed; he only looked you up and down, properly this time. You were too caught up in the shock of his surprising allure to notice just where his eyes had landed. 

        It was only when you felt your arm being lifted away from your body that you were shaken from your daze. “Hey-”

        “Hmm.”

        Your brows furrowed. “‘Hmm’?” You tried to rip your wrist from his iron-tight grip but you soon noticed the effort was useless. “What the hell does that mean?”

        “Your soulmate…” he trailed off, cheek twitching as he glanced away. “He is…”

        “What?”

        “He’s…” the man set his jaw and returned his gaze to yours. You only noticed there had been a warmth in his eyes when it was gone; all he gave you now was stone-cold nothingness. “He’s dead.”

        His gloved hand dropped your right wrist and it only flopped down to your side. He’s dead. Whatever emotion you’d had on your face dropped in exchange for a blank slate. Tears pricked your eyes and yet you felt stupid for even mourning someone you’d never met. 

        “Oh.” 

        The logical part of you that had shriveled to the size of a worm still questioned the relevance of this all. How did this man know your soulmate? Why had he been so adamant on seeing his name in the first place? What did he have to do with any of this?

        The man you still had no name for clenched his jaw and turned away as a tear slipped down your cheek. 

        “We have no use for you.”

        “What-”

        “You will be returned to where you were found. Now that we know you have no relation to the Resistance, your name will not be blacklisted and you will be left alone.”

        “Why-”

        He left no room for your confused--albeit broken--questions as he turned away and pressed his hand against a glowing panel near the entrance to the room. The door slid open to reveal a blinding, white hallway guarded by a single stormtrooper. 

        “Hey, wait!” You tugged against the restraints as your eyes stayed locked on his back, only to crash onto the cold floor when the clasps suddenly released. “Oof!”

        Click. With his mask situated back over his face, he finally faced you once more, his soldier standing at attention by his side. 

        “I’m sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you.”

                                +++

        “YN, you’re back!” 

        The Resistance leader, Leia, glanced up from the holopad. Her dark brows raised high enough to meet her hairline as her lips separated in shock. 

        “YN.”

        You struggled to meet her eyes or even fake a smile at the one who had greeted you. “General,” you cringed at your raw voice, feeling the onset of crying side-effects attack you all at once, “can we talk in private… please?”

        Leia schooled in her surprise enough to nod at the other Resistance members, gesturing her head towards the exit just behind you. They filed out accordingly, each one more concerned than the last about your distraught appearance. 

        Finally, when it was just the two of you left in the room, Leia directed you to the table she stood at, shutting down the holopad so the only light in the room buzzed from the ceiling, flickering every two seconds due to the overgrown tree roots weaving in and out of each electric wire. 

        “YN, I’m so sorry we got separated on that mission. I never meant for you to be left behind like that.” Leia shook her head at herself in shame, but something told you she was avoiding eye contact for a reason. “Did you-... are you okay?”

        “Yes,” you nodded, dropping into a single leather chair sitting at a computer a few feet away from the holopad’s table. “Yeah, for some reason, I’m fine. They-,” you glanced at your wrist before swallowing and returning your eyes to her face, “-they let me go. I don’t know why they did, but they let me go.”

        “Did you-”

        “General,” you interrupted with a shake of your head, “please, I need to tell you something.”

        Leia got the hint and grabbed the second chair in the room, sitting with a straight back and hands splayed out on her lap. They seemed to twitch for something--something like a weapon to protect herself. You guessed it was a habit of hers, but since you had only known her for six  months or so, you tried not to think too much of it. 

        Ever since she had found you holed up in your home hiding from the First Order soldiers that had attacked your town, she had taken you in. “Something about you,” she had said with a knowing smile, “I just want to make sure you’re safe.” She had treated you like her own daughter, much different from how she’d treat the other Rebels. Every two seconds, she would scan you for injuries or ask if you were okay. She’d even let you stay in her own home, in a spare room. 

        At least, you had thought it was a spare room. 

        It only took her two months of knowing you before she revealed the name on your wrist was her son’s. The very room you stayed in had been his, Ben Solo’s, and she’d wanted to make sure her son’s soulmate was safe and healthy in case she’d ever found him again. 

        She’d told you the story of how she got separated from him during a skirmish with the First Order and ever since she’d been searching for him. 

        It was only today that you knew she needed to give up the search. 

        “Leia, I-,” your breathing grew quicker and your headache grew worse and before you knew it, you were shedding tears. “Leia, I’m so sorry.”

        The former princess tensed up and reached a hand toward you. “YN, what-”

        “He’s gone,” you whispered, shaking your head and pursing your lips, “I found out when I got captured.”

        “Kylo’s dead?” she breathed out, eyes growing forlorn. You paused, raising your eyes to study her face. 

        “What?” You sniffled, wiping away the tears and growing confused at her words. “What do you mean? Who’s Kylo?”

        “The man who…” Leia’s words broke off when a sort of realization dawned in her eyes. “Oh.”

        You were at a loss for words, utterly confused at her silence when you noticed something. 

        Her eyes. Her nose. The hair, the nervous habits, the “lost” family pictures, all of it. 

        “Kylo was the man who captured me,” you muttered, eyes growing wide and thumb running over your wrist, “but he’s not Kylo on my wrist, is he?”

        Leia was trained in keeping secrets and her expression was as calm as one could expect, but it was only for one single reason. 

        She wanted to let you down easy.

        “No, YN. His name used to be Ben Solo.”

        “And it’s not anymore.”

        “No. Now he goes by Kylo Ren,” she closed her eyes and dropped her head. “That’s his name now… in the First Order.” 

        “You knew?” A spark of betrayal flickered in the pit of your stomach. Though he was Leia’s son, he was also your soulmate. Some part of you felt like you had a right to know what had happened to him--especially if he had done something as significant as turning to the dark side. 

        Instead, she had lied to you, omitting just enough of the truth that you would stick around. 

        Lord knows you would have left months ago if you had learned of the person he had turned into. 

        A thought hit you--a terrible, painful thought that had you gulping and biting your cheek. “Did…” your fingernails dig into your palms to steady your breathing, “did you want me to get captured? By him?”

        Her lack of a response was all you needed to know. 

        “Oh, my God. You knew. You knew the entire time. That’s why you took me in. You thought I could save him.”

        “YN, please, I had to-”

        “You didn’t have to do anything,” you clenched your eyes closed, resentment overtaking anguish deep in your chest. “You didn’t have to lead me to him like a lamb to the slaughter.”

        More tears fell, and the one person you thought you could trust in this galaxy only sat by and watched, opening and closing her mouth without a single word escaping. 

        “I just wanted my son back,” she finally whispered, “I didn’t want him to lose himself like my father had.” 

        “Yeah,” you scoffed, licking your lips and rising from your seat. “Well, now you’ve just lost another person.”

        “YN, wait-”

        “I’m leaving,” you breathed out, shaking your head hopelessly, “so please don’t bother coming after me.”

        Nobody said a word to you as you walked to the nearest empty craft and boarded, and the only ones who tried were hushed by Leia. 

        “Let her go. She wants to be alone now.”

                                +++

        The bar was chattier than usual, though you blamed it on being a Friday afternoon. The outside was hot and though you could still feel the beating sun through the glass windows, the tan building was a hell of a lot cooler. Air conditioning clanked and buzzed as you cleaned glasses and bused bottles. 

        “YN,” the bartender of the night handed you a damp rag and gestured to a table just over the bar ledge, “stop moping around or I’ll cut more than your paycheck.”

        You sighed and grimaced, accepting the dripping cloth before tiptoeing your way around the many customers already reaching their alcoholic limits. 

        Only two weeks had passed since the worst day of your life and you still felt the sting of betrayal and rejection. Not only had the man you were supposed to spend the rest of your life ended up being the daunting Supreme Leader of the First Order, but the woman you had almost grown to love as your own mother had delivered you straight into the palms of his hands. 

        You were lost and confused, trying to find some sort of way to keep traveling across the galaxy by making money anyway possible. Sadly, only bounty hunter bars seemed interested in allowing an unknown, unwanted female to wash their dishes and tables. 

        “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you muttered under your breath, wedging a used fork under what must’ve been the third piece of gum stuck to a wooden chair that day. Gambling and poker around the room must have reached an all-time high as cheers and groans ringed in your ears. An all-around unpleasant buzz settled directly between your temples as you bit your lip, scraping at the gum harder and harder until finally--finally--the last string of green tore away from the seat and gathered around the fork’s prongs. 

        Forearm burning, you almost permitted yourself a small cheer in success until you noticed a change in the bar’s atmosphere. 

        Everyone was dead silent as the bell atop the entryway stopped jingling. The wooden door creaked to a close and five to ten pairs of heavy footsteps thumped against the dusty concrete of the bar’s floor. 

        Panic froze you like a deer in headlights, hoping your location in the back corner of the bar hid you from whoever had entered. You didn’t even dare raise your head for fear of drawing attention to yourself. 

        The person who had the power to silence a crowd of former soldiers, bounty hunters, and drunk mechanics was not someone you wanted the focus of. 

        More footsteps pounded on the floor, drawing closer before a familiar voice spoke up. 

        “Clear everyone out,” Kylo ordered. “Then leave us.” 

        Your heart jumped at his firm, mechanized tone and a warm wave of fuzzy feelings washed over you. After being by your bitter self for so long, you suppose the new emotion wasn’t completely unwanted. You just… weren’t sure if you were happy about its cause. 

        Eyes still locked on the tabletop, you listened as people filed out of the building without question, more than likely at gunpoint with hands raised above their heads. A solid five minutes passed before the room was left completely empty aside from you and your soulmate, and you chastised yourself for deriving some sort of pleasure out of the opportunity of getting to see him again. 

        “YN.”

        “Why are you here?” You spun around to face him, surprised to find his hand outstretched and reaching towards you. Almost immediately, it dropped to his side as he straightened his posture. 

        Deep down, your heart glowed at his presence, and you hated it. You hated that even after everything that had happened, everything you had learned, that you still wanted to see him. You wanted to feel his touch and see his face again. And maybe, just maybe, you wanted to see your own name in your own handwriting on his wrist. 

        You cursed at whoever had placed his name on your wrist, because you were falling for the man before you before you had even seen his face twice. 

        Kylo’s hands raised from his side, pausing midway for just a second before reaching up fully and removing his helmet. Like before, it clicked and pulled away with a hiss and, of course, his hair looked untouched. 

        That said nothing of his appearance, however. 

        His eyes held dark circles you didn’t quite remember from your last meeting and his lips seemed paler. The brown locks, as you took a second closer look, seemed more flat and dull than you remembered. 

        Maybe it had been the glory of your first meeting, or maybe it just so happened to be that he was feeling as bad as you had been without having your soulmate by your side. 

        No, it wasn’t physical, like a stabbing pain in your side. It had been more like a piece of yourself had been missing; like there was a hole in your heart that ached and ached, but you just didn’t know how to solve it. 

        Seeing Kylo now made it fade just a little, but just as much time together would be needed to heal how much time you had spent apart. 

        The Supreme Leader set down his helmet just next to your forgotten rag and gum-fork on the table before returning his attention to you. With a twitch of a muscle in his jaw, he met your eyes and spoke. 

        “I thought tracking you down would have been hard, and yet you decided to find home in a place where information can be bought at any price.”

        “Maybe I wanted to be found.” The words slipped from your lips without volition but you couldn’t deny their truth. You wanted to see him again because, though your first meeting had only lasted minutes, you found it hard to focus on anything else.

        His lips twitched at your confession and he took that as an invitation to step closer. “I’m glad then.” 

        “Kylo-”

        “Because you’re coming with me,” he latched a hand around your wrist, “willingly or not.”

        Your eyes widened and some part of you screamed to pull away; maybe it was the logical part of your brain, or perhaps it was your brain altogether.

        Either way, you didn’t care to listen.

        “I’ll go with you,” you nodded, “but only on one condition.”

        Hazel eyes met yours and he nodded curtly. “Anything.”

        “Let me see my name.”

        His brows furrowed for a split second before he released your wrist and removed his right glove, tugging up his sleeve and flashing just the minimum amount of bare skin. 

        YN YLN. Same easy handwriting, a little too heavy in the beginning but lighter in tone at the end. Your name was a bold black, a stark contrast from the rest of his paled wrist. 

        Without a word, you reached forward and snagged his hand, running your index finger over the name and smiling at the quick breath he sucked in. 

        You felt it too--the rush of pure endorphins travelling down your spine, through every nerve ending in your body. 

        Unconcealed happiness. Sheer pleasure. You shivered a tad at the giddiness running through your veins. 

        Kylo was much better at concealing his emotions, allowing only a small tilt of the corner of his lips while his pupils widened at the feeling. 

        “I’ll go with you,” you nodded, a small grin making its way onto your face. “I want… I want to be with you.” If possible, his eyes glowed even brighter and a hint of adoration creased the corner of his lids.

        “Good.” Ever so hesitantly, he reached a hand up to cup the side of your face. “Then we shall rule this galaxy together, my empress.” You leaned into his hold and pressed a hand against his own, intertwining your fingers with his against your cheek.

        “Just one more request.”

        “Anything for you.”

        “Stop wearing that goddamned mask.”

Pspspsppspspspspspps hiii how have you been?? Bestie, drink water and stay safe and healthy <33

Also,,,, If it's alright to ask; I have been reading your reborn series and I liked it alot!! Is there any close date or sm where you are planning to post the new chapters? (Sorry I don't wanna sound rude)

You didn’t sound rude at all! I’ve been fine, and u better be drinking water too😤😤💜

Happy you like it, and I’m for sure thinking of updating it some time around the beginning of summer. No promises on any certain date, but the new chapters have definitely been planned🥳

Oh my God, that Gaz fic was so good. I love a whipped needy man.

Don’t tell the others but I’m secretly working on a part 2 and if I don’t get it out by tomorrow yelling at me about it is fair game bc I’m already 4.5k words deep and that’d be so rude of me

I’m so glad you liked it!!! I love it when the hot cod boys act like the little simps they really are🥰🥰

I just finished lajall 5 if reborn and I friking love it🤩😍 how can someone wrote THIS GOOD🤯🤩😍

Ah shit thank you🥺🥺

Talk about a boost of confidence like damn☺️☺️

I’m glad you like it so much, and honestly I can’t stop thinking about how I should add more to the plot and stuff👀👀 hmmmmm, maybe...

A Cut Above the Rest (Sugawara x Reader) *Request*

*GIF not mine* 

Summary: At the Shiratorizawa vs Karasuno game, it breaks your heart to see Sugawara get so excited by Kiyoko’s touch. After a long day of the silent treatment, your boyfriend must show you just how much more you affect him than any other girl around.

A/N: Honestly, this ended up better than I thought. Sorry it took me a while, and I’m not gonna lie, the other requests are probably gonna take just as long. My life is just a little sucky right now, so please have some patience. Still, hope you like it!

Word count: 2923

        Sugawara and Kiyoko were close-- they were friends, after all. But seeing him blush after she held his hands during a volleyball game was too much. 

        The sight of it made your stomach churn. His face was completely red as he jerked his hands away with a shout before bobbing and weaving the others. 

        “It’s mine! Get your own!”

        You could hear him from all the way in the stands, and there was no way the cameras hadn’t caught some of it. 

        The game against Shiratorizawa was possibly your boyfriend’s last game ever, and he had begged and begged you to come and watch. Of course, you had agreed without much coaxing, but now, all you wanted to do was go home. 

        Deep in your chest, your heart twinged. When was the last time Sugwara had ever been so aggressive over your touch like that? You couldn’t remember. Part of you felt alienated the instant it happened. 

        They’re just friends.

        Kiyoko’s not the kind of girl to do that.

        Koushi would never hurt me like that. 

        I’m not jealous. I’m not jealous. I’m not… 

        Was there really a point in lying to yourself? No, the answer is no. 

        The bitter taste of betrayal slapped you in the face the moment Sugawara had fought so hard to hide Kiyoko’s contact from another’s touch. Maybe your touch just wasn’t as precious to him. 

        Maybe… maybe Sugawara actually wanted Kiyoko. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had found her more attractive over you. The girl could wear shoes made of dog dookie and boys would still kiss the floor beneath her feet.

        But your sweet, loyal boyfriend was the last person you ever expected to jump on that bandwagon when he was in a relationship. 

        It hurt. Plain and simple. Your heart clenched and your stomach tightened and all you wanted was space, space, space. 

        So when Sugawara jogged onto the court for the fifth and final set of what could’ve been his last game, he glanced into the stands with an excited grin to see… no one. 

        “Where’s YN?”

                                ~~~

        The next day at school was hard, but ignoring Sugawara was even harder. Though he wasn’t in your class as you were only a second year, it seemed like he was everywhere, all at once. 

        Every corner you turned, he was there. Each class you passed, he was inside, asking a question you already knew the answer to.

        I’m right here, I just don’t want you to see me.

        A majority of it was just pure pettiness, but the last little inkling was fear. After avoiding him for so long, you still weren’t sure you could keep it together once he finally caught up to you. 

        Last night, your phone was blown up with texts, every one of them inquisitive. 

        “Did you hear we won our game?”

        “Where did you go?”

        “Are you gonna answer me?”

        “Did something happen?”

        “Are you okay?” 

        You didn’t answer a single one of them, instead choosing the age-old tradition of a silent treatment. 

        Lunch was the hardest. You always ate with Sugawara out in the courtyard under your favorite tree. Your back would rest against his chest and you would feed him part of your lunch, him always returning the favor. 

        So you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty while you nibbled on a chip, watching from your desk in a classroom on the second level of the school as Sugawara bolted out into the courtyard. His gray head of hair hung low as he made his way back inside the second he noticed you weren’t there. He shoved his hands into his pockets and lowered his gaze, observing his shoes as he scuffed them with every step.

        You weren’t an evil bitch-- why would seeing him like that not hurt you? It was just… you couldn’t forget his look of pure awe as Kiyoko touched him, like he had just been blessed by a goddess. 

        You knew you were nothing special. No matter how many times Sugawara told you that was wrong, you just knew it. But a part of you still wanted to believe that Sugawara had meant what he said all those times. 

                                ~~~

        “YN, open up!”

        A fist pounded on your door with hefty conviction. It hadn’t backed down for the past twenty minutes, and honestly, it seemed like it never would. 

        “I know you’re home, YN! Please, just answer the door!”

        With parents still at work, you were all alone at the house. There were no school projects or assignments, no homework or work-work; it was one of those few days in a year you would use to go to your boyfriend’s house and “study.”

        “I’m not leaving until you let me in, YN!” 

        After ignoring him all day at school, you knew you wouldn’t be off the hook for long. Sugawara always worried about you like this. There wasn’t a day gone by that you two hadn’t at least contacted each other via phone, so there was no doubt he knew something was up. 

        But you stayed put on the living room couch, wrapped up in a blanket and hugging yourself while trying to convince yourself the tears were just allergies. 

        “YN!”

        There was a saddened whine in his voice, like a hint of desperation. 

        You wondered if he was hurting like you. Would he be as jealous if you acted that way with somebody else? Would it pain him to see you blush and value another boy’s touch? Would he even care?

        Or were you just being childish?

        In every relationship lies one secret insecurity. One person’s more attractive, another’s skinnier, another’s taller. Another may be smarter or another may have a more stable life. There’s always a possible hamartia. And yours?

        Sugawara was older than you. 

        He never treated you like a child, though he had that habit. His friend group was all older, and yours, of course, was younger. 

        It was only a year, but in high school, that made all the difference. Girls his age, in his class, always spending time around him were bound to go after him at some point. At least, that’s what you always assumed. You’ve never told Sugawara any of it-- of your fears that there was another girl who he talked to that one day might just peel him right from your grasp-- you didn’t want him to think you were being childishly insecure. 

        And so, seeing Sugawara with Kiyoko made your volcano of unease erupt. 

        “YN, please!”

        But you didn’t want to lose him. God, you really didn’t want to let him go. He was kind and loving and made you feel things you’d never felt before. 

        “Hey.”

        So you slithered out of your nest of blankets and opened the door. 

        In a word, he looked disheveled. His hair stuck up in every which way, unkempt tufts barely catching the light of your porch. His hand, still frozen in the air to keep knocking, shook in place. But what most rattled you to your core was his face. 

        He looked… scared. If you didn’t know any better, you might’ve thought a murderer was after him. The cold of what was eight p.m. in March had bitten his cheeks and nose to a nice pink color. Angry lines framed worried, hazel eyes that widened at the sight of you. Or more, the tear streaks you had failed to hide. 

        “YN,” he sounded winded, “what happened?” 

        Now. Right now was the moment you had been dreading. Unloading all of your personal insecurities onto another person was quite possibly the hardest thing to do, mostly because you knew nothing could be done about it. 

        “I…” The words were trapped, caught in your throat in a nasty combination of crap you could only hack up in the form of a sob. “I, um.” And that’s all you could say. 

        For a solid two minutes, Sugawara waited patiently for nothing. His brows rose in a gesture of take your time, but after seeing your lips stay zipped instead of opening and closing with the possibility of words, he must’ve gotten the hint. 

        He nodded then pursed his lips. “Okay then. Why don’t we… well, come with me. I want to show you something.”

        Without another word, he snagged your hand and tugged you out of your house before closing the door. 

        “Maybe you can tell me what’s up once we’re there.”

                                ~~~

        The drive wasn’t long, but by the time it was over, Sugawara’s headlights and the moon were the only lights around. 

        The local park sign greeted you once he helped you out of his car, closing the door for you before grabbing your hand and leading you away. 

        You were surprised at how warm his fingers were when they intertwined with your own, flexing against yours out of habit while Sugawara tugged you around. 

        “There,” he muttered under his breath, leading you right to the thickest oak tree around. The trees were few and far between in the clearing where you two settled, and just barely in the distance could you see the plastic playground of the city. 

        “Come on.” After taking a seat against the rough trunk, he pulled you down into his lap with a soft smile. Like always, your back leaned into his front, which worked as a heater in the slight breeze of the night. His hands wound around your waist and hugged you flush against him with not even an inch to spare. Both of your guys' legs lay straight out, his just outside your own but pushing them close enough together that one almost sat on top of the other. 

        Instinctively, your hands relaxed down onto his thighs, and you finally let yourself relax back into his form. 

        The silence was nice and peaceful. For a moment, you forgot why he had even brought you there. When you truly let go and wound your arms up behind Sugawara’s neck, he decided to break it. 

        “So… do you want to talk about it?”

        Not really, but you knew you had to. Tonight, you just wanted this undisturbed moment with him. You just wanted to listen to the trees rustle and the crickets chirp, all with him by your side. But you knew that if you wanted more moments like this, you had to start talking. 

        “Koushi,” you sighed and shook your head, “yesterday, at… at the game, right?”

        “Yeah?”

        “You and Kiyoko got really, um, really close.” You could feel him suck in a breath, but he let it out slowly before humming for you to continue. 

        “I think I see where this is going.” 

        You weren’t sure what to make of that response, so you kept speaking. “You held hands and-- God, I feel so stupid, but it made me kind of… jealous.” 

        “And that’s why you ignored me all day?”

        Out loud, it sounded ridiculous-- ridiculous and foolish. So why did the memory of them still hurt?

        “Yeah. Basically.” 

        You wanted to say more. You wanted to explode and confess, just let loose of all the feelings you’ve kept rammed up for months of being with him, but you just didn’t want to run the risk of losing him. 

        You loved him. At least, you think you did. It’s only been so many months, but when he wasn’t around, you missed him, and when he was around, your heart raced with excitement. Seeing him with Kiyoko almost made it look like things were one-sided. 

        “Kiyoko and I are just friends.” 

        A log broke away from the dam in your chest, increasing your need to let loose. 

        “Yeah, I know.” Your voice was tight, and there was no chance Sugawara hadn’t heard it. His fingers started dancing along your stomach, slipping up your shirt only so far as the skin below your belly button before splaying along the hot flesh. 

        “YN, I know you’re still not telling me something. Please, you can talk to me. I’m your boyfriend, and I’m here for you.” 

        The level of comfort those words held, Sugawara had no idea. Your heart fluttered at just their meaning. Someone was there for you, and they wanted to listen.

        So you spoke.

        “I just,” you didn’t know why, but your eyes began to burn with tears, “I know I’m not that girl, you know? The one that everybody would love to talk to and stops and stares at. The one that people would kill to touch or smell or something. And I know that’s weird or selfish, but God, I just hated seeing you with a girl like that.”

        “YN-”

        “Kiyoko’s perfect,” you continued, throat constricting the more you choked out. “I know that. Everyone loves her and wants her, but…” The first salty trail paved its way down your cheek. “Koushi, I want to be that girl sometimes. It’s gonna sound vain, but I really wanted to be that girl to you. But maybe I needed to be knocked down a peg like that.”

        “YN!” His voice rose and cracked, and his forehead dropped to your shoulder. “Please, please don’t think those things about yourself. Please.” With an open-mouthed kiss to your neck, he shook his head. “I don’t want the girl I love thinking these things. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. You must not see it, but you’re that girl to me all the time.”

        Another kiss, this one sloppier as he bit back his own tears. 

        “Koushi-”

        “I hate making a fool of myself in front of you.” Kiss. “I hate how I still feel like a little schoolboy whenever I see you.” Kiss. “Fuck, I mean, my hands shake and my heart flutters and I just know my damn palms are sweating but I still want to hold you.” Kiss. “And YN, when I hold you, I can’t even think straight.” His entire back has curled in over your form like a shield. “My heart just pounds like crazy and I feel so stupid because I keep thinking that we’ve been together for so long and I still get so excited to see you, like a damn toddler on Christmas.” 

        The two hands under your shirt travel to your sides so Sugawara can turn you in his lap until you’re facing him head on. Then they peel away and cup your face, fingers stroking the skin while Sugawara stares at you with what could only be described as pure love in his eyes. 

        Just the sight of it robs the air from your chest. Breathless couldn’t describe it, but a rush of elation could. Your stomach twinged with excitement as you swallowed up the unfiltered allegiance Sugawara was swearing to you with his soft, hazel eyes. 

        “YN, I can’t believe you thought anybody else could make me feel something more than you.” A thumb brushes over your lips while he shakes his head. “You must be blind.” 

        When your hands reach up to tangle into his hair, he only allows one of them to complete the trip. The other, meanwhile, is caught by the wrist. Sugawara leads your hand to his chest, pressing your palm flat against the space hiding his heart. 

        “Can you feel it?” You do. His heart is pounding, much like your own. The speed and force of each thump under your palm has you leaning your cheek into his other hand. “There’s that smile I love so much.” His thumb runs over your upturned lips once more, and you can’t help but blush. 

        “Koushi.”

        “Hmm?” His eyes are still locked on your lips, but they slam shut once you pull him into a kiss. A moan escapes his throat at the feeling. It’s passionate and thankful and loving. It washes your worries away and has you confront the warm, soft truth: you’re in love with him, and that’s what matters. You’re urged to separate only for a truly desperate need of air, and even then the distance between you barely grows.

        His hot breath warms your cheeks as he dips his forehead against yours, dropping his hands to wrap your legs around his waist. Fingers massage the flesh of your thighs as he keeps his eyes closed, lips searching for yours once again only to be stopped by a giggle. His eyes flash open at the sound, crinkling at the corners when his mouth curls into a confused smile. 

        “What?”

        “Nothing, nothing.” In all honesty, you feel like you're on cloud nine, riding a wave of pure bliss. “It’s just…” your hand pats against his chest, rumpling the white t-shirt he’s wearing. “Your heart’s beating really fast. Maybe we should take a little break.” 

        Sugawara chuckles and leans back against the tree, ducking your face into the crook between his neck and his shoulder with a hand in your hair. 

        “Trust me, princess. When you’re nearby, it always beats this fast.”

hellooo! i'm just stopping by to request a prompt similar to Conan Gray's song "Heather". One where you've got this crush on him and the feelings seem to be reciprocated, and this flirty banter is going on between you two, but suddenly there's somebody else in the picture. a n g s t please. i want my feelings to be hurt

Another a n c i e n t request from years past. The name wasn't specified, so I had chosen Nishinoya bc he's a lil cutie:

The bandaid

Yn doesn’t want to acknowledge that Noyas moved on in high school, but then she sees him around Kiyoko. 

The bandaid was ripped off. You couldn’t lie to yourself anymore. He didn’t like you. Maybe he never did, or maybe he used to, right now...no.

Okay, so yn likes him and they flirt so she thinks he likes her back

Then they both move on to Karasuno, where Kiyoko comes into the picture and BAM, no more yn

Nishinoya doesn’t flirt with her or anything, instead talking to her like a normal person before bounding off at the sight of Kiyoko.

Yn enters the class with noya and Tanaka and hears them talking about the “absolute babe” that is Kiyoko. Yn greets Noya and he says hi before rambling on about Kiyoko

You thought he liked you....

Please work on a pt. 2 to the Luna Hunt or a series in general its so good I beg off u. I would love to see where things go with them and her father and the new queen and king

ahhhhh yeah the whole father storyline like i dont even know where to go with that

hate it when my reader's flimsy purpose to escape comes back to bite me in the booty like ouch now i gotta work with that plot strand. luna hunt is def the most requested for a second part and i swear i hear u i just haven't read this genre in so long i dont even know where to start.

scratch that, i know exactly hwere to start, i just dont know where to go after that. we'll see maybe one day ill think of smth