Pov You Are A Casual Passer By In Nbc Hannibal. Apologies, This Concert Is Cancelled Due To A Human Violin

Listen, I know Dream winning his duel with Lucifer with hope is like... A BIG DEAL and super symbolic and beautiful, HOWEVER I have something that may not be better, but would definitely be FUNNIER. 

Dream loses. He's been locked in a bubble and had his hopes dashed again and again, even though he's still fighting and still hopeful, it's harder for him to reach that and it doesn't come to mind in time for him to win against Lucifer. He's to stay as a servant in Hell and there's no Endless or divine being that can or will come to his aid. He's trapped. Again. 

Only Matthew isn't Jessamy, Matthew knows when the best way to help is a tactical retreat to gather reinforcements. So that's what he does, going immediately to Luciene like, "Hey, so, uh..." And there has to be some way they can help him! Luciene makes it clear that none of the dreaming denizens can. None of the Endless can, no deity would be of any help there against Lucifer. There are Old Laws dictating that Dream lost fair and square and no one can interfere with that. And Matthew's like, "Well what about someone who can challenge Lucifer to win him back? Someone not bound by the Old Laws?" 

"The only beings not bound by the Old Laws are humans. There's no human--" 

Except there is. There's one. One human that Dream would go off once a century to meet, and it's a long shot, but-- 

That's how Hob Gadling finds himself being approached by a talking raven asking him to trek into hell to rescue his boss. "You know, Dream of the Endless? Lord Morpheus?" 

Hob doesn't know who the hell the bird is talking about until Matthew describes him. "Oh, my Stranger!"

"...He seriously didn't even tell you his name?" 

Now, the idea of setting foot into Hell itself to do battle with Lucifer Morningstar is, y'know... Not something he wants to do. He confirms over and over if Matthew is SURE he doesn't have to die to achieve this, because he's not ready to leave yet, and Matthew is like, "Yeah, buddy, shouldn't be a problem." He's lying. He has no idea if it's a problem. (It's not.) 

Hob is like, "Yeah, but... I can't FIGHT Satan himself and expect to win, I AM still human." 

And Matthew's like, "You don't actually have to fight her, it's like a game! But uh... Pretty sure you still feel all the pain and stuff." And he explains the rules, and like, okay, feeling the painful death of whatever kills whatever you decide to be in your round SUCKS, but Hob's been through that before. It's actually a pretty intriguing game, one he thinks he might win. 

See, the way he sees it, it's a combination of the "times infinity" type of game (I love you, I love you more, I love you times two, I love you times a thousand, I love you times a million-- so on and so on) with that counting game where you either say one or two numbers, back and forth with someone, and whoever says 21 loses. Basically, there's one logical conclusion the game is going to reach. Someone is going to bust out the "times infinity" or in this case, "heat death of the universe" or some other completely life-ending thing. And like with the counting game, if you can get your opponent to say specific numbers on the way to 21, you can make sure they're forced to say it. 

There's a strategy if you think ahead enough, and he has an entire walk through Hell to plan it. 

(It SUCKS. He sees Robyn there. It breaks his heart. It's meant to, it's meant to keep him from reaching the palace, seeing his son in Hell, but they don't know Hob. They don't know the grief he's had to overcome in order for him to say, with absolute certainty, that he still wants to live even though it hurts. He reaches that citadel.)

Dream is, of course, horrified to see Hob there. Hob meanwhile is like a jilted exe all, "Yeah, yeah, we're not friends, you stood me up, but I'm still here for you because I'm the bigger person and I fucking care." 

He challenges Lucifer for Dream's helm and their safe passage out of Hell. Lucifer is... Intrigued. She just beat Dream of the Endless, and this human thinks he can beat her when humanity's collective unconsciousness couldn't? His immortality has made him cocky, clearly. So she accepts, and bargains that if Hob loses, he has to give up his immortality. 

There's a good minute where Hob pauses at that and has to really think about whether his arrogant, condescending not-friend is really worth that but yeah, yeah he is. Meanwhile Dream is off to the side. "Don't do this, Hob Gadling. It is not your responsibility to fix my missteps." Basically his version of pleading for Hob to leave and not risk this up until Lucifer is like enough out of you and shuts him up. 

They play. Lucifer starts out with the wolf again, because it's a good starting point to see what direction her opponent plans to take, to get a glimpse into Hob's mindset entering this game. Her plan is, of course, to cause pain enough that Hob will have a hard time thinking, but Hob makes that really fucking hard from the get-go and throws everyone in the room for a loop when his answer is...

"I am the over hunting of the local deer population. Ecosystem destabilizing, predator killing."

Well. Okay. Yeah, sure. Fucking fine. It's hard to kill that painfully. Lucifer manages to come up with, "I am hunting restrictions, nature preserving, ecosystem balancing." 

Hob, by that point, is like, I got this, actually. This might be fun. "I am the expansion of civilization. Forest destroying, hunting law nullifying." 

Matthew, who had been feeling pretty iffy about calling this guy in to help, is no longer questioning that choice. Dream is a little starry-eyed. 

Eventually Hob is the head of the Home Owner's Association. Lucifer is a bear, scrap hunting, person killing. Hob is family, revenge-seeking, bear euthanizing. Lucifer is Pride, argument starter, family destroying. Hob is friendship, blood covenant, thicker than womb water. Lucifer is jealousy, friendship rending, relationship ruining. Hob is personal growth, jealousy ending, apology giving. Lucifer is relapse, progress destroying, confidence killing. Hob is perseverance, step taking, progress rebuilding. On and on until finally Lucifer decides to end this the way she did with Dream and Hob leads her along until it reaches that natural conclusion, the death of all. 

Now there's some temptation there to go with the obvious, since he can't die even if the universe was destroyed. At least he doesn't think so. But he had already decided that it was an obvious choice to go for and he could think of a few clever ways Lucifer might get around that. So instead, Hob goes the far better choice and personal insult of being God, universe creator, life giver. He's very proud of himself when the demons erupt into boos and Lucifer looks about ready to rip his fucking throat out with her teeth. 

The way he sees it, there are two choices for her there, unless she really pulls something unexpected out of her ass. Option one is the whole "what's a god to an atheist" thing in which Hob would have then been a miracle, faith affirming, god-proving. Not much can destroy a miracle. 

But Lucifer, livid and prideful, goes with option two. "I am Lucifer Morningstar, God defying, His Kingdom ripped sunder!" 

And Hob has the absolute glee to grin and go, "I am Hob Gadling, clever, death defying, and triumphant over Lucifer Morningstar."

He and Dream are promptly kicked out of Hell on their asses, Dream's helm is thrown at his head with a force strong enough to break the sound barrier, and the gates are slammed shut behind them. The whole thing is so humiliating that Lucifer has to change their gender and moves to LA to open a nightclub.

Let's get real and talk, As a trans man I don't feel welcome in the trans community tbh. there are so many hateful people in our community, that like to gatekeep or project their own shit on people. I'm so sick of other trans people telling OTHER TRANS PEOPLE that they are not trans because *insert reason here*. Honesty SHUT THE FUCK UP! There is no "right way to be trans".

I'm a passing trans man, who has had surgery, and I still get called a "transtrender" by dumbasses. Like fuck OFF!? Who tf are you to dictate who is trans???

Trans men CAN be feminine.

Trans men CAN be masculine

Trans men Can do what ever tf they want.

LET PEOPLE LIVE.

I'm proud to be trans and it pisses me off that other trans people put other people down, just because they are different from them. I haven't even looked at any trans tags in months because there is always someone putting other trans people down.

Worry about yourself and let people live their life man.

We all love the "becoming the very thing you sought to destroy," trope. but I have a growing fondness for "destroying the very thing you sought to become"

I like the B team so much

If you live in the U.S. and you’re 12+, you’re eligible for the updated bivalent anti-omicron booster shot, and it should be available in your  local pharmacy. 

Please reblog this post, as there’s been very little news coverage and shockingly little propagation of information about the availability of updated boosters.

The girl next to me on the treadmill at the gym is reading ao3 like I wouldn’t recognize that font twenty miles away and half blind

Clone Wars Headcannons

All over the place but yeah enjoy

Ahsoka will let her men test out pick up lines before shore leave and give them tips on how to better pick up girls

Ahsoka picked up her eye rolling habit from Wolffe

Fives and Echo refer to Rex as “oh captain my captain” (Rex is very annoyed)

Clone troopers sleep better when they cuddle up with someone

Anakin has given Ahsoka and many of his men heart attacks when he randomly removes his prosthetic hand

There are painted line of the Resolutes floor near the medical bays to mark how far troopers have made it when they attempt to escape the medics

This usually ends with the medics full body tackling their vod and occasionally their Jedi

Hardcase has the furthest mark with Fives very near behind him

Much to Wolffe’s dismay young animals love to imprint of him during campaigns, he says he hates it but Sinker once saw Wolffe carrying around a baby loth cat wrapped in one of his blankets

Rex is a natural blonde due to a mutation and I will die on this hill

Fox and Wolffe have the highest spice tolerance of their batch and their brothers are very concerned for them

Based on the scene in the Umbara arc where Tup is hanging onto the gunship handle with 2 hands, he is a very nervous flier

Ahsoka noticed that Tup was a nervous flier and now tries to get on the same ships as him to help keep him calm

The 501st has different tallies up throughout the barracks for random things like ‘how many times the general loses his lightsaber’, ‘best quotes for the week’, etc

Clone troopers speak mando’a, kaminoan, and basic fluently

Rex always wins arm wrestling contests, even against Anakin

Ahsoka learned how to play sabacc from the Wolf Pack and has been banned from playing in most 501st circles because she always wins

The CCs have the ability to sleep with their eyes open and Wolffe and Fox actively chose to do so to creep everyone else out

Cody has broken his wrists and his shins from fist fighting droids but he continues to do it

Many troopers in the 501st have also attempted to fist fight droids but quickly stopped when the medics refused to treat them

Anakin has also attempted to fist fight droids and damaged his cybernetic hand enough that he had to get a new one

Ahsoka purrs when she sleeps close to other people 

Hardcase almost cried when he first heard Ahsoka purr because he thought it was cutest damn thing

Capture the flag is the 501st’s favorite down time activity

Cody has hidden drugs in Obi-Wan’s tea to make him sleep which Obi-Wan was rather offended by but continued to accept all tea given to him by his commander

Ahsoka set up a projector in the rec room and on hyper space trips she plays holomovies so her men can be ‘cultured’ 

Ahsoka is good friends with Padme and Riyo Chuchi and regularly gets together with them for girls nights

Rex has gotten a tattoo while drunk but Cody is the only one that knows about it

Ahsoka found out when her men’s birthday or decanting days are and makes sure to wish them a happy birthday

Ponds, Bly, and Fox were very confused when they received a transmission from Rex, Cody, and Wolffe’s vod’ika wishing them a happy birthday

the queen dying is taking attention away from the true great loss of the last few days: thurston waffles' passing. fuck dusty old monarchs, at 15 years my baby just wanted to yell and eat shrimps and he still had a positive impact on more lives than the royal family ever did

rest in peace sweet prince ❤️❤️❤️

some tumblr etiquette for new people!!

"just put yourself out there" what if I scared. what then.