Very Random Headcanons About The Easy Boys:

Very random headcanons about the easy boys:

Babe was down with the flu and spend three days not leaving his bed and watching conspiracy theories on netflix

The very next time he went back to work and saw Speirs, he was damn sure his captain was replaced by a reptile and Speirs is actually an enormous lizard hiding under human skin;

Bill knows one direction songs better than some of the 1d fans;

Hoobler always thinks that those little sparks in the sky at night are not planes but ufos;

Smokey blocked him on the phone because he got tired of Hoobler sending him real pixelated dots of the night sky with GORDON THEY ARE REAL SHIT FUCK WE GONNA DIE messages;

Guys have “no questions asked” use of one time for each other;

Meaning that if one of them calls the other and asks to do something and ads “no questions asked”, the latter will not ask, tell, question or deny anything he is asked to do;

Examples of this involved Lip going to a real shady place at 4am in the morning to give some money to nix who was buying a baby goat from Russian mafia;

Roe trying to remove Cob’s dick from a plant pot;

Speirs playing along with acting that Harry is the prince of Wales just so that Harry would get a free desert and some restaurant in a small village in Madagascar;

 Nix trading naked, tied to a bed Speirs for three big macs from a 70-year-old hooker;

Luz distracting Sobel by kissing him because Lieb was planting a prank in Sobel’s room and almost got caught by Sobel returning early;T

he last incident cause a whole bunch of mess as

·         A) Sobel was conflicted with either punishing Luz for his behavior and also not wanting to look homophobic because of punishing man for his preferred kiss-buddies;

·         B) Toye thinking that Luz is actually attracted to Sobel and being both disgusted by this and incredibly depressed as he was in the stage of doodling little hearts around Luz’s name in his notebook;

·         C) Sink asking Dick to give an inappropriate behavior lecture to Easy:

·         D) Dick giving the lecture and mentioning that it is also inappropriate to slap someone’s ass or comment on the physical body of other soldier;

·         E) Easy making the game out of this and objectifying the most ridiculous parts of each other’s body

·         “DAMN TAB YOUR CLAVICULA MAKES MY NORTHEN REGION ENLARGE”

·         “Captain Nixon, your Adam’s apple looks especially fine today”

 Penkala once saw Dick and Nix slowly dancing to Elton John’s version of “Chapel of love”

He recorded everything and never showed or mentioned this to anyone;

 A year later, at Nix’s and Dick’s wedding afterparty, he showed the video to everyone;

Even Speirs got tear-eyed;

You know how in friends chandler accidently saw Rachel naked, so she wanted took revenge on him but then saw joe naked and so on and so on?

Yes well Don accidentally walked on Ron naked in his office (he was just after the shower) and of course Nix said that the best way to defuse the tension would be Ron seeing Don naked;

So after the trainings, Ron bee railed to Don’s room in hopes to see him naked;

What he didn’t know was that Muck’s shower wasn’t working so Much showered at Don’s place and yes, Ron dragged shower curtain trying to peak at Don but al he saw was naked Muck performing “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” and the screeching like a little girl;

So this send a barrel rolling down the hill and the very highlight of this situation was;

Our poor, innocent Skinny Sisk seeing an old and wrinkled ass of our most respected Colonel Sink

So waaaay before Toye and Luz were a thing, Toye experienced quite common symptoms of having a crush

Except that he never had those and actually though that there was something wrong with him

 And he went to Gene and described them

Mind you, Gene was in, like, his third year of med school

So Toye goes “I dunno, doc its like, once a day maybe twice, I get these intense heartbeats, my pulse just goes insane, I get hot flashes, my head starts spinning a bit, and it never happened before”

“so how long has this been going on?”

“maybe like 2months. How long does Luz live with me and Bill? That’s how long.”

 And Gene just looks at his chart, looks at Toye, looks at his medical books and goes:

“I think you are experiencing a menopause”

Buck is a serious carnivore and once Luz dared him to eat a broccoli and Buck still says it was the most horrifying experience in his life. And this guy was in war

Martin and Bull take a spa day once in month because their nerves need a break from easy’s shenanigans once in a while