Lipton: Look, You Don't Want Speirs To Die. And I Don't Want Speirs To Die. So Let's Work Together To

Babe: You’re on a date with someone when they refer to guacamole as avocado jelly. What do you do?

Penkala: Bash their brains in.

Muck: Propose.

Luz: Bold of you to assume I’m on a date

Luz: I’m bike sectional

Luz: I’m bisectional

Winters: Take your time.

Luz, pointing at Toye: Boys!!!

Speirs: They are my service bees.

Lipton: But they are not trained. They attack everyone who gets close to you.

Speirs: They are trained.

no i will not elaborate

Webster: [accidentally brushes Liebgott’s hand with his own]

Liebgott: [aggressively holds Webster’s hand] Fucking COMMIT to it

Perconte: “....Speirs is going to kill us for this, isn't he?”

Christenson: “....Maybe we shouldn’t tell him.”

Speirs: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me what?”

Winters: What are you drinking Nix?

Nixon: Tea?

Winters: [spraying water at him] What are you drinking?

Nixon: Tea-quila…

the office x webbgott

SpeirsRoe headcanon I feel very strongly: Ron and Gene walking around in a mall. Gene expressing his lack of understanding and almost outrage about how much all those new sneakers can cost. Ron doing that blank stare of his to mask his reaction as an owner of at least a dozen of designer workout shoes.

FACTUAL

Ronald Speirs collects high end sneakers like a bird of paradise would collect colorful rocks and leaves for their mate. He cleans the ones he does wear with a set of tooth brushes. Most remain in their original packaging or in a case in the basement.

Gene doesn’t know about this because he comes from a place where basements don’t exist and livings in constant fear of the room bellow the functional part of their house. 

They both fear the day the other finds out about their secret. 

Toye: What’s up with Babe?

Guarnere: Doc giggled.

Babe, laying on the floor: hE-!!!