Just Came Back From The Women’s March—(in Reaction To The Texas Bill, If Anyone Was Wondering).

Today at work there was a dude with a chihuahua in his bag, and it was quite cute (I don’t like chihuahuas usually, they are rat bastards, but this one was fine). I complimented him on his dog, and he said “oh, she usually wakes up when she smells food,” (I’m a caterer), and I—seeing the golden opportunity this was—replied with “me too, man,” and HE DIDN’T EVEN LAUGH. My talents are wasted here.

strings of fate masterlist

soulmate au – status: finished

pairing: loki x reader

summary: your whole life you’ve been looking for him, your soulmate. but years go by and you loose hope. will you ever find him?

chapters:

- one: strangers

- two: soulmates

I guess I can still show you how the strip game is going on.

I am Pagan, but I still consider Muslims to be my brothers and sisters.

Muslim brothers and sisters

So I found this app called Scan Halal where you scan the bar code of your food and it tells you if its halal or not. It’s a free app too. Pass this on so others can see and worry a little less about their food/snack choices

Prompts:

For Requests, of course. Here’s my list, feel free to come up with your own. You don’t need to use it if you have other ideas, I love hearing them!/gen.

1.  "I can't keep kissing/fucking strangers and pretending they're you!"

2.  "You've thought about this, haven't you?"

3.  "Prove it."

4.  "I still remember the way you taste."

5.  "You make me want things I can't have."

6.  "You love them, don't you?"

7.  "Touch me."

8.  "You smell nice."

9.  "You're mine."

10.  "So...slow and loving, or hard and punishing?"

11.  "Do it, coward."

12.  "Please, kindly, shut the fuck up.  I can't stand how appealing your voice is."

13.  "I'm tired of being your secret."

14.  "I told you so."

15.  "It's always been you..."

16.  "Because I love you, god dammit!"

17.  "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

18.  "I thought you hated me."

19.  "Don't you even think about touching them."

20.  "Don't let go."

21.  "What the fuck are you doing with my partner?!"

22.  "Just kiss me already."

23.  "I don't know whether to kiss you, or slap you!"

24.  "Stop biting your lip, or else I am going to do it for you."

25.  "If you complain about the weather one more time, I'll give you a real reason to sweat."

26.  "Yell at me again, and I'll give you something to scream about."

27.  "Oh, well fuck me, then."

28.  "I bet you would look even better without those clothes on."

29.  "Is this you trying to flirt with me?"

30.  "How much of that did you hear?"

31.  "What happens if I do this?"

32.  "Please don't shoot me for this."

33.  "Tell me I'm wrong."

34.  "Is that a challenge?"

35.  "I like my clothes better on you."

36.  "That's mine."

37.  "Don't leave my sight again."

38.  "Do you want me to use these handcuffs?"

39.  "That's a first."

40.  "I don't care if you want my help, you're getting it anyway."

41.  "Can I kiss you?"

42.  "You're my favorite thing."

43.  "Don't even think about it."

44.  "Are you single?Asking for a friend."

45.  "What are my chances with you?"

46.  "What if I buy you roses?"

47.  "Why you?"

48.  "How is it that you always know when I'm lying?"

49.  "People as (pretty/handsome/attractive) as you shouldn't be legal."

50.  "Baby, you're shaking."

51.  "Tell me again."

52.  "Say that louder, or I'll make you."

53.  "Will you do it for a kiss?"

54.  "Shh, stop fussing...I'm just braiding your hair."

55.  "Your hugs are my favorite part of the day."

56.  "I think I love you."

57.  "But I want to hear you sing!"

58.  "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

59.  "You don't need a reason, idiot."

60.  "Don't tell them!"

61.  "I don't like them, I like you!"

62.  "Are you jealous?"

63.  "We can't be friends anymore...I will always see you as something else."

64.  "I'm afraid that you'll end up seeing me the way I see myself."

65.  "You'll catch me, yeah?"

66.  "I'm gonna take a shower...you should probably join me, it'll save water."

67.  "I can't stand the way they look at you."

68.  "Is that my shirt?"

69.  "Did I stutter?"

70.  "That's distracting, asshole."

71.  "Your so hot."  "*You're*"

72.  "It's not a double date, we're just both third wheels!"

73.  "I want to marry you."

74.  "They will be mine, whether they like it or not."

75.  "Bite me."

76.  "Do you want to test that theory?"

77.  "D-Did you just check me out?"

78.  "How do you say 'kiss me?'"

79.  "(Y/N), it's fine, you've been running through my mind all day, that's enough exercise."

80.  "I'm in love with you and it's terrifying."

81.  "Your moans are my favorite sound."

82.  "I'm sure we could put those lips to better use."

83.  "Don't mind me, I'm just enjoying the view."

84.  "You like that, don't you?"

85.  "I need you."

86.  "P-Please...s-stop."

87.  "Look at what you did to me! I had to deal with this all day."

88.  "Look at me."

89.  "Do you have any idea what I want to do with you?"

90.  "Did you just kiss me?"

91.  "Do you plan on kissing me, or just staring at my lips like they're your dinner?"

92.  "Were you touching yourself?"

93.  "Oh, it doesn't work that way sweetheart."

94.  "Stomp squirming! You're making it worse."

95.  "I heard that but I'd like for you to say it again or else I'll pretend like I never heard anything."

96.  "Just do it already!"

97.  "Fine! I love (Y/N), okay!"

98.  "Hold still."

99.  "Is this okay?"

100. "There's a thin line between love and hate, and right now, I'm making a fucking circle."

101.  "It's a hobby of mine to prove you wrong."

102.  "Oh, really?"

103.  "Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me."

I, as an artist, don’t mind—but I also don’t make many comics (that I post). For real though, always ask us, please, please, please ask us if it’s cool.

Please don’t remove the artist’s caption/comment when you reblog a drawing/comic/etc.

I obviously can’t speak for everyone, but in my case the caption is often an addition to the joke, and if you take it away, you take away a part of my comic.

my brain feels like it’s on fire and my stomach hurts because i can’t stop laughing every time i see these two tweets

Me: *scrolls and sees a Rape/Non-Con tagged fanfic.*

Summary: "If we can go one week with no lies, then we will go on a field trip, only the winners, of course."

That was Charles' idea...to be completely honest, Charles only made this bet so Erik would flirt with him...Charles' plan was working out to be spectacularly terrible.

There had been a bet going around the school, among the staff, mainly. Charles had been preaching the importance of honesty and transparency, but he quickly realized that his colleagues needed more incentive.

"If we can go one week with no lies, then we will go on a field trip, only the winners, of course."

That was Charles' idea and so far, it was quite fun. To be completely honest, Charles only made this bet so Erik would flirt with him -unintentionally, mind you. Two days in, and Charles' plan was working out to be spectacularly terrible. Erik was seemingly avoiding Charles, which was a valid strategy, but still.

Charles had walked into the lounge room, hoping to catch Erik and a cup of coffee. Erik was indeed there, likely on his way out of the lounge. Erik wore that borderline sinful black turtleneck along with a tight pair of pants.

"Erik, fancy a game of chess during our 30 minute break?"

Erik had finally taken note of Charles' presence and became extremely nervous for some godforesaken reason. Erik knew the reason: he likes Charles, it's as simple as that. He loves those piercing blue eyes, the kind smile, the soft, untouched hands of Charles Xavier. He won't deny it... okay, well, maybe he will. Everyone seems to know this fact besides Charles. 

" I would love to Charles but I have tests to grade," he said with an obviously fake smile. Technically, that wasn't a lie; Erik would love to play a game with Charles and he did have tests to grade. Charles sighed, "oh, I see...well, perhaps next time then." Erik gave a genuine smile this time.

"Perhaps." On the way out, he brushed past Charles, both of their faces reddening madly. Oh, if only they could see each other from an outsider's perspective. They are so obviously in love even a blind man could see it and a deaf girl could hear it.

***

Charles was walking down one of the school's many corridors, in search of one Erik Lehnsherr.

"Charles," Raven spoke from behind him. "Yes?" He queried, turning to see her. "Have you seen Hank?" So Raven had the same idea as Charles it seems.

"That depends, have you seen Erik?"

"Ooh, are you trying to seduce him or something?"

"I won't tell if you won't."

"Deal, Erik is by the fountain reading."

"Lovely, Hank is in the tennis court."

Charles immediately turned around and began pacing to his destination. 'Of course Erik was reading' Charles thought to himself. He strolled over to one of the many exits of the building.  Charles wandered lost in thought . Maybe I'll have a romantic moment with Erik by the fountain, like in all of those Rom-coms that Raven keeps telling me about. Maybe we could be like Bella and Edward—less cliche of course... Unbeknownst to Charles, he was about to walk face first into his Edward. This realization came with the audible thud of Charles' face colliding with the muscly chest of Erik, Erik's book now on the floor as a result.   Charles looked up to find a very flustered Erik—not that Erik looked flustered, but the bar of flustered for the (usually stoic) Erik is very low. 

"Erik, hello again.  Sorry, let me-"

Charles bent down at the exact same time Erik did.  Their foreheads met with a (less audible, but still) very painful thud, sending both men backwards on their asses. 

"Fuck" Erik muttered.  Erik looked up to see Charles: his legs bent upward and nearly sprawled out with his hand against his forehead.  For some reason (again, Erik knew the reason), Charles seemed to be the most captivating creature on earth, far more interesting than Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere.  Charles had looked up about four seconds before Erik realized he was staring.  Erik's eyes quickly darted away from Charles' strikingly blue ones.  "Well, I had been meaning to run into you, but this was not what I had in mind." Erik chuckled at this.

"I would hope." Charles smiled at Erik.  On the outside, Erik simply sat in nearly the exact position of Charles, mouth slightly open but still with a calm demeanor.  On the inside it sounded more like this:

Holy shit, Charles' eyes are piercing through my fucking soul.  If we were back in about 400 b.c I would think this man is Jesus and confess my sins to him...

"Well, Jesus was actually brown—likely with dark eyes. He was born in Nazareth, which was in the Middle East.  The only reason we think Jesus is white is because DaVinci was commissioned to paint a picture of Jesus.  He, of course, modeled it after his boyfriend at the time." Erik was hit with an abrupt sense of confusion.

"Hey-"

"I can't help if your thoughts are loud, Erik!"

"Right..."

Erik and Charles sat in the same spot, simply staring into each other's eyes for an unreasonable amount of time.

"Would you like to go back to the fountain?" Charles propositioned with a tint of uneasiness.

"S-Sure, Charles" Erik babbled.  Charles' own name falling off of Erik's lips hit him like a freight train.

Fuck, I wish I could hear that more... "Need a hand, Schatz?" Charles looked up to see Erik standing above him, hand outstretched.  Charles grasped Erik's hand and found that Erik pulled him up much harder than Charles pulled Erik down. This resulted in both men's faces being much closer than platonic allowed.  Erik quickly turned to the side, a very subtle blush dusting his cheeks.  For a split second, Charles could feel Erik's breath on his lips, Erik's slight stubble scraping against his chin, Erik's cologne filling his nostrils. Charles was going to ride this high for months.

"C'mon, let's go" Erik spoke with a hint of nervousness. Charles, still spaced out and on cloud nine, mindlessly followed Erik to the fountain.

***

"And then he sees door..." Charles was sitting on the fountain next to Erik, listening to him go on a passionate tangent about the book he had been reading.  Listening is a bit generous though, rather, Erik's words were hitting Charles like water across a creek floor.  "And then-"

"Erik?" Charles asked, creating an abrupt end to Erik's sentence.

"Charles?" he mimicked.

"What do you think about my eyes?"

"What?" Erik panicked internally.

"You keep thinking about them."

"I-" Erik took a moment to compose himself, trying to calculate the weight of his words.

"Your eyes are...beautiful" Vorefreud his mind was screaming.

"What does that mean Erik? 'vorefreud'?" Erik's cheeks reddened.

"Uhm...it uh, it means..." Erik closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, his eyes now meeting Charles'.

"Vorefreud pretty much means the pleasure of waiting for something pleasurable."

"And why do my eyes bring that word to mind?" Charles said with a grin that he simply couldn't hide. Erik was silent, his eyes never leaving Charles'.  Erik slowly lurched closer to Charles, his left hand coming up to Charles clean-shaven jawline and his right coming to rest atop Charles' hand on the smooth stone of the fountain.

And just like that, Erik was kissing Charles and Charles was kissing Erik. Both men felt this heavy weight suddenly lift off of their shoulders.  The pining, the sexual tension, the unspoken feelings, all of that was paying off.  Erik noted that Charles' lips were unreasonably soft, and Charles found that Erik's lips were slightly chapped.  The kiss was not ravenous, rather a soft, passionate, admission of love.  Charles brought his hands up to Erik's sides, his thumbs slowly moving up and down against Erik's sweater.  Erik pulled away, but not before hitting Charles' bottom lip and dragging his teeth across it.  At this, Charles let out a sharp gasp, his eyes pointedly meeting Charles. 

Erik looked passionately exasperated, eyes boring into Charles.  Charles brought one of his hands up to touch his lips, rubbing across the part Erik had just bit.  Erik smiled at this, the widest smile Charles has ever seen from him. A slight chuckle escaped his lips. The urge to, once again, kiss Erik washed over Charles, who decided to listen to it.  He lunged forward, one hand clasped itself against the underside of Erik's chin and the other flew to the back of Erik's head, roughly gripping his hair. 

Erik cursed against Charles' mouth and kissed back, this time ravenously. Erik's hands found Charles' back, his arms looping underneath Charles'.  Erik nibbled on Charles' bottom lip, this time, making him groan.  Erik took this as an opening and gracefully slid his tongue into Charles' mouth.  This kiss was no longer an admission of their feelings, but now a declaration, an announcement.  Charles now pulled away, his forehead resting against Eriks'. 

"Erik," Charles softly spoke.

"Charles," Erik said with an audible smile.

"I'm glad you think so loudly."

"Me too."

WC: 1482

A/N: Thanks for reading, babes!