Jesus Fucking Christ Look At All These Fragile Pieces Of Shit Who Can’t Watch A Movie With Women And

Sweet Dreams

Requested: @fuckythebuckybarnes

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Smut

Prompts: 3. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”  10. “Apparently there’s a bet going about when we’ll end up together.” 20. “Hold my drink, I’m gonna go cause a scene.”

After several weeks of being undercover, being held hostage, and some fairly violent fighting, you were back at the compound.You hadn’t even taken 2 steps off the quinjet before 2 strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. Your eyes had shut upon impact and when you opened them you were met with a broad chest clad in a black henley. You could also see the ends of their long, shiny black hair.

“Oh Valhalla, thank god you’re ok.” he whispered as he rested his chin on the top of your head, keeping his arms wrapped securely around you. You smiled, resting your head on his chest.

“I’m fine, Loki. I promise.”

“Are you sure? Are you hurt? Stark called me 8 days ago and said they had you held hostage. I was worried sick! And then Stark wouldn’t answer his damn phone!” he said, pulling you away from him by your shoulders, giving you a once over to make sure no extensive damage had been done.

“Chill out, Reindeer Games. Just wanted to make you sweat a bit. Y/N came back to you in one piece, didn’t she?” Tony chimed in as he stepped out of the quinjet, giving Loki a sarcastic smile.

“You could have at least told me she was alive.” he grumbled, obviously annoyed.

Keep reading

today’s gender of the day is unfortunate time loop accidents

guys we’re not being cringe to keep out the twitter users. we’re being cringe to keep out the ALGORITHMS, the CAPITALISTS, the INFLUENCERS. twitter users are welcome as long as they agree this site is UNMARKETABLE

Sweet Nothings

Request: Hello! Can you write a fic where Crowley catches his girlfriend singing sweetly to his plants, and the rest of the day he’s all mopey bc “you should be serenading ME with that beautiful voice of yours not those damn plants.” Please and thank you!

A/N: So the writings won’t be out as soon as i would’ve liked, but i am working on them. I’ve had a lot of personal problems these past few days that i’ve had to work through, please forgive me. Requests are still open, just keep in mind there’s already some in and there will be a wait! 

Warnings: Unedited, fluff 

Keep reading

“I don’t want to do any eyebrow twitching or mustache twiddling. I don’t want to do sort of like a charactertured villain.  I’ve tried very much to make Loki psychologically plausible. Someone who’s damaged and very, very intelligent  and is able to sow the seeds of deceit.” — Tom Hiddleston

Spiderverse Gwen x Reader where The reader is out as les/bi/pan whatever and Gwen is scared to tell her she likes her?

 AND➝  Gwen is ready to start letting people back into her life after the events of Spiderverse. MJ, aware of Gwen trying to open her social circle, tells her about a nice girl from her apartment building and brings the reader along at their next band practice to introduce her. Gwen sets eyes on her and is VEEEERY attracted to this VEEEERY pretty girl.  In Gwen’s bisexual distress, she starts rambling nervously, and probably says something embarrassing about herself. MJ saves them from an awkward situation and starts band practice, Gwen doesn’t see reader outside of school again after that, but Gwen shamelessly stares at her during class. Gwen starts to overthink the situation and gets worried she blew her chance. Later, there’s a situation that she as Spider-Gwen saves reader from. Reader is minorly hurt but SG has to go before she can help reader as authorities arrive. Feeling guilty, her spider sense leads SG to the reader’s apartment, she goes to check on her that night. Confident with her mask on, she strikes up a conversation, compliments her and even drops a bit of a flirty remark about reader before taking her leave. I didnt know where to go from there I’m new to requesting so I hope this isn’t too long but I hope that’ll be enough to get the ball rolling? -🍀

deeply sorry it took me so long to get to these again! i changed a few things, but it’s pretty much still the same idea. i hope the nonnie who requested this finds it and doesn’t think i ignored them :( ily, y’all deserve better.

——-

➹she plays bass➹(spider-gwen x fem!reader)

That feeling when there’s a cute girl who plays bass in your band and you don’t know what the hell to do about it.

Gwen needs help figuring out her feelings. Like, immediately.

word count: 11.6k (oops i did it again)

a/n: i’m sorry this new fic is the size of the bible like the last one, i’ll try to make the next one shorter lmaooo. but it’s what my fave girl deserves due to the unacceptable lack of stories about her on this site. plus, i swear that once you read it it’s so much shorter than it seems. i’m hoping i can post at least one more story before the end of the year, but if i don’t, happy holidays and new year ! y’all were the best part about my 2019 :) hope whoever is reading this has a lovely week. mwah.

warnings: violence, guns, swearing.

——-

She played bass. 

You played bass, to be more specific. And Mary Jane Watson took satisfaction in believing that she was nice. More than simply ‘just nice’ on good days, even. Being the most courteous person was a duty she considered to be hers ever since she was six-years-old and accompanied that girl who always seemed to be left behind in the playground, and years later, in high school when she punched a creep hassling one of her bandmates. Last but most certainly not least, Betty Brant, bass guitar player of the Mary Janes, slipped and fell backwards one unfortunate evening, and she shot out her left arm behind her to break the fall and save her ice cream from hitting the ground. Good news: her ice cream did not hit the ground. Bad news, however, her left hand did— in an odd, twisted position. Needless to say, Betty Brant now had a broken wrist.

At first glance, they’re all unrelated events, stars belonging to separate constellations, and they would have remained so— undisturbed, simply coexisting in the same sky. That was, until Gwen came into the picture and drew a line connecting the bright flecks when she opened her mouth.

Keep reading

One-shots Challenge! 1-150

Drabble Challenge! #1 - 150

Ive been meaning to do one like this so I can practice my writings more!! SO SEND SOME IF YOU WOULD LIKE! Please specify if you want it to be fluff or angst or anything really.

I write for Marvel, Star Wars, just send me your character and the numbers! <3

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask and you write a drabble using that sentence/prompt in your piece. 

Take the long way around

Can you shut up for five minutes, please???

He’s been gone for quite a while

I can’t see anything.

I heard a noise.

Scary movies are for chumps.

You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today.

The floor is lava.

Where’s my food?

I bet you feel like an artist

Did you ever clean the attic?

Can I be of assistance?

Get out of the way before I murder you.

I think you forgot who wears the pants in this relationship

You’re breaking my heart, babe.

Cry me a river.

Build a bridge.

Get over it.

Another credit card?!

It’s just rain, you aren’t gonna melt!

When’s the last time YOU cleaned the bathroom?

I don’t know why I married you.

Have you ever lied to me?

If I trip over one more of your shoes, I’m throwing them all away.

Aren’t you supposed to be the adult?

I’m stuck! Help me!

I swear, I’m not scared.

What do you think a cupholder is for?

You know when your phone buzzes, it means I’m trying to talk to you, right?

Turn that sh*t off!!!!

When’s that last time we went on a date?

I thought you didn’t like cats?

The door’s locked.

Remember when you were a kid and you ______ (insert memory)

I’ll just tell your mom on you.

I thought you were nice.

I had a dream about you.

I work pretty hard around here, but you get all the credit

What color do you like better?

Am I your husband or your taxi service?

Take notes, sweetheart.

This is where you impress me, right?

Pick up lines only work when I’m drunk.

I can’t believe you didn’t remember

If that makes me a child, so be it.

I could beat you up, you know that right?

Would it kill you to help people?

I bet you can’t go 24 hours without cussing.

But, I said I love you.

Is it just me or is cold as hell in here?

I’m not weird, you’re just basic.

Just sleep with one eye open, that’s all I’m saying

Take off your shirt.

Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?

Way to go, kid.

I found the candles, we’ll be alright.

We could get struck by lightning, but you want to kiss in the rain.

You’re never this quiet, what’s wrong?

…or we could make out….

I said “I HAVE AN IDEA!”

Down the hall, second door on the left.

I warned you. He warned you. Your freaking mom warned you.

Sit still, for the love of all that is Holy.

Are you even human?

We’ll talk later.

K.

I’m afraid.

I thought there was time.

Can you just leave me alone?

I’ll carry it.

We’re not ‘fine’.

Are you really taking his side right now?

I like proving you wrong.

Girls can’t drive, plain and simple.

Who are you?

I think you need stitches

Must be a coincidence

Can you be romantic for once?

This is your fault by the way.

Nothing bad is going to happen, baby, I promise.

Excuse me for falling in love with you.

I have fans. More fans than you to be exact.  

I paid for half and you ate three-quarters.

I knew you’d be mad.

If you die, I’m going to kill you.

You’ve never smoked anything in your life.

You gave me a black eye.

Stop looking at me like that, weirdo.

What if it sinks?

Birds can’t fly without wings.

Sorry I’m protective over the things I love.

That SOOO classifies as a date.

No backsies.

You’re an idiot. I married an idiot.

I never liked it, I lied.

Remember, we have to get up early tomorrow.

Are you trying to flirt? Because, you’re embarrassing yourself.

Remember when we were dating and you _____

Be brave, sweetheart.

I’m sorry, but that was adorable.

You don’t hate me, quit lying to yourself.

You hear that? That’s the sound of my awesomeness.

She’s my daughter, I can read her diary.

That’s a fact, Jack.

Actually, I couldn’t care less.

I try my best.

Doesn’t make a difference to me anyways.

I’m glad you’re mine.

You look pretty good for your age.

You passed out for like an hour.

Delete it. Now.

You’re a jerk.

Are you high?

No, you’re MY bitch.

Ew ew ew. You’re so gross.

Spare change for the poor and lonely.

She’s 6, how can she scare you?

When’s the last time we ______

He’s spoiled rotten.

I can’t stay long.

There’s nothing we can do.

Do you ever stop smiling?

Step aside and watch a pro.

Never give him stuff like that!

You’re the one who left it laying around.

I’m a lucky girl. I’ll admit that.

Teach me how to play?

It’s called a prank.

Well, you’re a prick.

Good, I hope you feel bad.

You have cold, you’re not dying.

I have reasons. You wouldn’t get it.

I hope you have a cold shower.

You don’t mean that.

Sing to me, please.

Did you enjoy yourself last night?

Why do they behave for you?

Stop making your own rules.

Don’t open an umbrella in the house.

You know what happens when you assume things.

That’s open for discussion.

Oh, what a shocker, you have an excuse.

Be serious for two minutes, please.

I cheated.

What’s the biggest lie you ever told?

Pillows are over-rated.

Zombies aren’t real, I promise.

Are we lost or do you know where we are?

We started with one and now we have seven. You have no chill.

*Make up your own*

Happy Writing! Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!

Anthony Mackie. Reblog if you agree.

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“