Crowley: Hey I Wonder What Would Happen If My Plants Could Talk

white people using their privilege to educate, a concept!

@wildefire Here it is! c: /i kinda imagine a college Steve for this one idk why :D:D/

2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.  + 3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.

—

Today was the day. Finally you had the day off for yourself and after the mission you told everybody you’ll see them around later and you sprinted to your room. You took off your clothes and wrapped your body in a nice fluffy towel, then grabbed the little pink bag from the shelf and entered your bathroom.

You closed the door and filled the bath tub with hot, steaming water and added your favourite scent to it. You were really excited, because this was your first free day in three weeks and all you wanted to do was to sit in that bath tub until you grew gills.

You lighted some candles, their delicate aroma was simply heavenly. But the best was yet to come! Yes, the little pink bag - you opened it and unwrapped the colourful bath bombs. “Finally I get to see what’s all the fuss about” - you said to yourself excitedly as you bit your bottom lip and dropped the rosy-lime one in the water. Just watching it turn the transparency into a nice pinky colour was so satisfying, you couldn’t wait to get in this tub and enjoy the afternoon.

Candles, flowers, some chocolates, everything was perfect. Your muscles were so tensed and your body craved relaxation. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back, a sigh of pleasure escaping your lips, when suddenly you felt a gush of cold air hitting you. And then a loud dropping sound.

This made your eyes open right away. You looked aroud - the door was closed, but what the hell was that on the floor. It looked like a little box, but it was… Ticking?

You opened the door just as the smoke alarm buzzed , just so you could stand face to face with the Devil himself, who stood at your door, biting on an apple, while blue smoke was coming out of the bathroom.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the opposite wall. “You! You little cheeky bastard! How dare you ruin my only free day?!” - yelling at his face seemed to do nothing, so you grabbed his apple and tossed it at the wall. “First you turned my hair green, then you shrank my clothes so they can only fit a fucking ant, then you came in my room naked in the middle of the night and scared the crap out of me. It’s not funny! I fucking thought I was getting kidnapped! And now this?! ” - by this point he was trying really hard not to laugh, so he just bit his lip, but his eyes were almost watering from the laughter he was holding in.

“It’s not fucking funny Rogers!” - you pulled him again and this time he laughed and leaned over the door frame. He was desperately trying to say something between the gasps for air “Your… Your face is blue” - he laughed, hitting the door frame with one hand. You started clapping slowly, in a sarcastic manner “Aren’t you the most observing person in the world! No, no, you know what fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you?  ”

You poked his chest with one finger and then crossed your arms, still glaring at him. Your hair messy, your face blue with some darker patches of blue on your shoulders, your body covered with the towel. You were mad at the moment, but in reality you looked beautiful to him, even in your crazy states.

You bent down a bit, holding your towel with one hand - “This is war, Rogers and you’ll get it!” - he looked at you with a cheeky smile and then got up, pulling you closer by your waist, so he can clean some of the blue from your face. “Aren’t you overreacting a little bit?” - he asked childishly, his smile only growing bigger, his brows raised as if he was so amused from your overraction.

You waved a finger in front of his face “Me? Overreacting?? Probably! But that doesn’t stop me from getting my revenge on you!”

~~ You planned your revenge for a few days and a couple of days later it was time to get your plan going.

You tried to seam calm and collected during the weak, as if you had forgotten everything, but in reality you were just looking for the right opportunity. And so the day came.

Steve was in the kitchen, just a towel wrapped around his waist, his body glistening with some fine drops of water. He was cooking something, when you tip toed to him and wrapped your hands around him and placed a kiss on his bare back. You felt his muscles tense and his skin heat up. He turned around and as he did you placed another kiss on his neck. His hands just barely resting on your waist.

Your relationship with him was complicated, but not complicated enough for you not to notice his constant flirting with you and so you knew this would have his mind running thousand miles per hour.

His head moved to the side involuntarily and you kisses his ear, but tried to stay calm. As much as you liked the game, turning your face blue for two days straight was no fun. You had to move fast because very soon he’d realise what was happening, so in one quick motion you handcuffed him to the fridge and unwrapped the towel from his waist.

He had no time to protest because the next thing you did was ripping the flour packet he had prepared all over him and pulled a camera from behind your back. “That’s what you get for messing with me, Rogers” - you said teasingly as you snapped just one photo of him and then put the keys on the far end of the table. You spared him once last look before you exited the room, you winked and then stuck your tongue out at him when he said with a smile “I’ll get you for that!”

Happy Loki Day Eve besties

The main distinction is that pan people are genderblind (meaning they have no preference between one gender and another). Use whatever label you feel most comfortable with though, only you can make that choice for yourself.

NOTE: the choice of what you want to label yourself as.

I dont really care if you use the term bisexual or pansexual, but what i DO care about is that you understand that bisexuality at NO stage in history was EVER trans-exclusionary. Bisexuality has always included trans folks, and non-binary folks, and the entire spectrum of gender between male and female, as well as Definitively Gender and agender. It has ALWAYS meant "attraction to more than one gender." It has NEVER meant "attraction to cis men and women only."

So, pan, bi, use whichever label you will. But do NOT buy into the recent-years innacurate concept that bisexuality is attraction to cis men and women only, because thats literally never been the case.

Don’t worry guys, Mario is normal now.

Chris Pratt is now the voice of Late Night Tumblr Posts.

I'm sorry.

—𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆

summary: In your few months of marriage to Loki Odinson you have found a few things: he is softer than he looks, a worse liar than he lets on, and a lover of grand gestures.

pairing: loki laufeyson x reader

genre: fluff and smut

word count: 6.5k

warnings: oral + vaginal sex, uhmmmm writing thats too descriptive

note: also available on ao3!! i’m so glad yous liked the first part so here is the second! She’s not as long but she’s a tad sweeter

part 1: the little dove and her serpent / part 3: even the stars can be hollow

Keep reading

Goncharov (1973), dir. Martin Scorsese

Drabbles Masterlist

Since I really enjoy writing these short drabbles, starting with some prompts I collected, I wanted to collect them in a masterlist. Because my mood changes from day to day, so do the muses and thus they vary from happy to sad, dark to smutty and everything else. Below you’ll find the first line of each prompt, which is kinda of the summary, and they are also the link.

Loki Drabbles

“you look like you could use either a hug or a mercy killing”

“You’re not stupid. Just uneducated”

The stains were impossible to hide and hard to explain (little NSFW)

“I went to a karate class once when I was a child, so don’t think I couldn’t take you down” (little NSFW)

She was a warrior and he was a dreamer. She was the brain and the brawn and he was the heart.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in prison?” “No man is supposed to be in prison.”  (little NSFW)

“I really want to fight someone right now,”

The night sky lit up for a second and what followed sounded a lot like the end of the world.

They always say ’the devil made me do it’. But this wasn’t him.

“So from the bottom of my cold, dead heart, screw you.” (NSFW)

“I’ve been the family disappointment for years! You can’t just suddenly show up at dinner and steal my rightful title!”

They were not supposed to be alive - but here they were, living and breathing.

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”, “It ripped out my wings, so yes, it did hurt.”

“Stop being so mean or I swear to God I’ll kiss you.”

“Don’t look at me, this is not my fault.” (NSFW and dub-con)

“We were never meant to last, yet you still tried. Why?”

“having the same enemy doesn’t make us friends.”

“Last night I tried to imagine myself without you. The thing is, I could and I felt so much better,” (warning for implied suicide and self-harm)

Practice makes perfect they say. And she was quite the master (nsfw)

“You’re not taking me to bed. Ever.” “Who said it had to be on the bed?” (nsfw and non-con)

Loki curled himself up into a ball…

“You’re a disappointment.”

When people think about angels, they think about golden locks, white wings and…

“What are you writing?” (nsfw)

“What are you writing?” part 2 (nsfw)

It was a daydream and a nightmare, depending on who you ask.

“I like my coffee as black and bitter as my soul.”, “So, pink and sparkly then?” (little nsfw)

“Hold that tongue of yours!” (little nsfw)

“Close your eyes.”, “I swear, if you do something nasty I’m out of here.“

“You’re not good enough for me, face it.”

From the shadows two green eyes were watching her with genuine interest.

“Go away.”

Stranger

The Act

Shirtless (little nsfw)

“I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”

Lay down your weapons

“What are you doing?”(NSFW)

“Always a disappointment.”

“What are you doing? Stop!” (NSFW and non-con)

She smiled knowingly

If you had have kept your mouth shut, then she would still be here!

“No-one tells me what to do unless we’re in bed.” (NSFW)

“Are you just going to stand there and think about all the naughty things you want to do to me.” (NSFW)

Short Sentence Loki Muses - One, Two, Three

“I am here now.”

Sticks and Stones 

The drug coursing through his veins made Loki feel fuzzy… (NSFW, Dub-con, drugs)

It was a hot and humid summer night…

Mistletoe (NSFW)

Clint Drabbles

Nothing time can’t kill.

His voice brought back memories of dark rooms and broken bones. (Whump, mention of blood, no gore though)

With a scream tethering on his lips, Clint’s eyes flew wide open…

Bucky Drabbles

“You can’t just sit there all day.”

Mistletoe (NSFW)

My friend just sent this to me and said “you will appreciate this” and she was VERY correct