What If Over The Years Merlin Forgot Arthur’s Face. He Remembered His Laugh The Warmth Of His Touch

My experience being a fan of stuff

hi everyone. does anybody else miss something they can never return to. anyone else being swallowed whole by grief. anyone else clinging to love as a life preserver

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RUN NEIL ! YOU'RE BEING CHASED BY WALT WHITMAN ❗❗❗😨😨😨

I cant stop thinking ab the idea of merlin one day post s5, where they all survived, becoming really secretive and protective of his room and not telling anyone at all whats inside. Not even gaius. He even gets a lock installed and whenever anybody asks he brushes it off with jokes like “its to stop arthur from finding me” or smth.

he also unrelatedly really hates any talk of destiny, going to war, and anytime morgana mentions her fear of her magic turning her merlin slightly freaks out.

That is until one day gaius manages to catch merlin off guard while hes rushing between the main room and his bedroom and walks in.

Only to see a whole bunch of stuff that hes never seen before.

Merlin freaks out, tries to play it off as some weird experiments and stuff hes been collecting but gaius can feel it, somethings different about these items, not wrong but not right. Not really magic either.

It takes 3 weeks of gaius pestering him before merlin breaks and explains to him that he IS A TIME TRAVELER. after the battle of camlan as we know it that lead to arthurs death, merlin did wait, he really did, but in the year 2020 when arthur didnt return for yet another global crisis, merlin broke and did spell upon spell until he figured out how throw himself back in time.

And holy shit did it work well. He managed to come back just at the perfect time to change everything that needed to be done to assure that everyone lives happily and safely, and when he realises hes done it, he decides to stay in this time. See his friends and family grow old as they should have. See arthur rule as he should have. Live the life he has been craving to go back to for centuries now.

Until a month in he realises how old everything is. Sure merlin can survive without his phone and stuff but theres a few things he really misses. Like his slippers, his potato peeler, his favourite hoodie, and especially his favourite tea flavours.

So once in a while he allowed himself to go back to the modern day and bring one thing back. He started with a scented candle, because candles exist in camelot and having one here shouldn’t mess up time right? Then moved onto a herbal tea that he knows if he traveled past the boarders he may be able to find similar ingredients.

Then he brings a new release of his favourite book series because he cant help it and realises small things like that dont change time.

And so thats what he’s been hiding away in his room, all of his modern day stuff. Ranging from trinkets hes collected over his life to his favourite scarf to his stuffed lion that he won at a fair in the 80s. He doesn’t go back often, only when his tea runs out or he really needs something, he tries to limit it he really does.

It takes gaius another 4 weeks to wrap his head around it all. Another 2 weeks after that to touch merlins stuffed lion thinking it may attack him at any moment.

He makes gaius promise to not tell a soul, offering him tea bags as payment. They have a nice system from then on, gaius would try a new flavour of tea everytime merlin returned, once in a while he would also bring a modern day snack (gaius yelled when he first tried salt and vinegar crisps).

A yell which led to leon finding out. And so a cycle began.

“Do you think it has to be torture? Being the way we are?” -Simon (Dead Boy Detectives 2024)

Yes this is another post about Dead Boy Detectives okay I’m on a roll.

Simons punishment in Hell is so heartbreaking to me. He has to tear pages out of the book where he put Edwin and his initials and the ‘headmaster’ tells him he can stop when he finishes the whole book, but the book keeps replacing itself. And it hits so emotionally if you have ever had to hide or repress queer emotion. Simon is being punished for simply having emotion and he thinks if he can stop having that emotion (finish tearing out all the pages) all the pain will stop. Being queer isn’t something that just leaves you… it is always there and sometimes it causes you pain because others can’t accept it maybe even you yourself can’t accept it. (Ex. Simon saying Does it have to be torture? Bring the way we are?) Then our boy Edwin who has been trying to deal with the repression he’s had for so long tells him that it’s okay to be queer and if you ever make yourself believe it’s not okay you are making your own hell.

That whole scene was very sad and also happy since Simon ends up accepting himself. I cried about it multiple times (rn is one of those times).

Imagine Merlin reading all the Arthurian books, watching every movie, TV show, animated series etc about Arthurian mythology, because he wants to feel at least something that reminds him home

One day he'll stop doing it alone. And for the first time he will laugh about how goofy some of those movies are. There will be a person who will laugh with him.

Because the world will never know their little truth.

Sorry if I just liked all your posts and followed you… it was a booty call or whatever you call it

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You’ve been struck by 🔪

A Roman Senator 🔪🔪🔪