My Turtle Dog~ I Want To Thank Everyone's Kind Words On My Last Post About My Grandma's Passing. I've

My turtle dog~ I want to thank everyone's kind words on my last post about my grandma's passing. I've been taking it easy and painting my dogs to take my mind off things. this is Luna's favorite pose

Hush

Bucky x femreader

Fluff, sweetness,

Tw: trauma

A/N: I just wanted a sweet little scene where the reader reassures Bucky. 🥹

Enjoy 🤘🏼

You were awoken to the sound of Bucky gasping. Your eyes flew open, expecting to see danger looming just over your face, but instead you were met with darkness.

“Bucky?” Your voice called in the emptiness.

You felt the presence of him beside you. The bed you two shared rattled a bit as Bucky tried to catch his breath.

“I’m here doll,” he finally choked out.

You reached over and flicked on the beside lamp. A soft yellow light illuminated the room as you sat up in bed. Bucky was hunched over the side of the mattress, his bare back glistened in sweat as he took deep breaths to steady himself. You leaned towards him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Nightmares again?”

He shook his head weakly.

“Memories.” He whispered in a broken voice.

Your heart broke for him, as it had a million times when it came to Bucky. It was going to be a bad night. You slipped out of bed, taking care to wrap your robe around your body. He didn’t question you as you made your way from the bedroom down the hallway into the kitchen.

Your new apartment was bare, and boxes still littered the floor, some half opened and some still full of random stuff. You dug around one of the boxes until you found a couple of clean mugs and placed them on the counter. You found a pot from the drying rack and filled it with water and set it to boil.

You found the tea easily enough. You had used it only a few nights ago for the same occasion. Once the water was not enough you sifted the tea and arranged the mugs, making sure to add lemon and honey to both. It was not a certain fix, but making tea seemed like a better alternative than doing nothing at all.

As you re-entered the bedroom, mugs in hand, Bucky was sitting upright, leaning against the headboard. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted up against the wood. You paused for a moment, wondering what horrible images flashed behind his eyes. What memories had caused that sort of disturbed awakening. You carefully sat down beside him, placing the mugs on his nightstand table.

His eyes fluttered open, and he gave you a small smile.

“Thanks doll.”

You placed a hand on his cheek, and used your thumb to stroke his stubbled chin. He began to raise his arm to hold your hand closer to him, but the sight of his metal arm made him stop in his tracks. His arm returned to his side and he looked away from you. You felt your heart deflate a bit in your chest.

“Would talking about it help?” You asked gently.

“It’s nothing you don’t already know,” he murmured. It had taken time, a long and strenuous time for Bucky to open up about his past. The Winter Soldier loomed over his conscious like a dark shadow that no amount of light seemed to be able to erase. “Just go back to sleep doll, I’ll be fine.”

You eyed him, knowing better than to listen to him. But you grabbed your tea and made your way to your side of the bed. You made yourself comfortable under the covers, taking a few sips of the warm tea that filled your belly. You returned the mug to the night stand and laid down next to Bucky, scooting yourself as close to him as possible, until your head was by his thigh. He was wearing sweatpants that were soft against your skin.

Bucky gave you an amused look, and a smile threatened to tip the edges of his lips. You stretched out like a cat, extending your arms and legs dramatically, letting your fingers graze his bare chest and claw their way gently down until they returned to your side. Bucky seemed to enjoy this. He used his right arm, his arm, to gently stroke your face. It was a soft gesture, sweet and simple, but even that was enough to bring heat to your face.

“This reminds me of Spain,” you murmured, basking in the gentle heat of the moment.

“Does it?” He asked. His fingers found themselves in your hair, mindlessly twirling strands around.

“Well, not the first half of that trip, but definitely the second. Remember, after the beach?”

Bucky snorted, his movement rattled you a bit.

“I remember you taking on a hydra ship single handed in the dead of night. You were nearly killed.”

“See, again the first half of the trip wasn’t very fun, although I quite enjoyed sinking that ship.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. He slid further underneath the covers and curled up next to you. You scooted yourself closer, using his arm as a pillow.

“And after that?” Bucky asked softly.

You let your hand trail his bare chest. Your fingertips moved across his upper half, drawing mindless designs on his body until you reached the seam of where metal met skin. You slowly retracted your hand, out of fear of pushing him away.

“Don’t you remember?” You teased.

Bucky gave a wicked grin. “I remember being quite angry with you, for being so reckless. I reprimanded you back at the hideaway house while also bandaging your wounds.”

"Wounds sounds so dramatic. I remember it as a simple scratch."

"Simple, huh?" he challenged.

His fingers tugged at the collar of your robe, exposing your bare shoulder to the night air. There was a long jagged scar that ran up the length of your collarbone. It was dangerously close to your neck.

His trailed the scar with the tips of his fingers, sending chills up your spine.

“I remember being scared that day,” he admitted. His eyes bore into yours, his expression turning sad as he scanned your face. “I thought I might lose you, without ever being able to tell you how I felt. I thought I would lose the chance…”

You tipped your head to his and placed a hand on his face. “But you didn’t,” you whispered. It had taken years for Bucky to admit the feelings he had for you. Not because he didn’t love you in that time, but because he felt as if he didn’t deserve you.

He had wanted to make amends. To settle his soul and his peace with the life he had been forced to live for so long. He wanted to start his life with you as one without guilt, one without shame. But even after finding solace, the past still haunted him.

He gave you a soft smile as he kissed the top of your forehead. “No, I didn’t.”

“Do you know what I remember from that mission?”

“Aside from almost dying?”

"Yes, aside from that."

Bucky just gave a small laugh and a sigh.

"Tell me then," Bucky murmured against your forehead. His lips began to travel down as he kissed a trail from your head to your cheek and then the edge of your jaw. Your eyes fluttered at the touch, and your hand gripped his head gently as your fingers ran up to his hair, wanting him to continue.

“That’s when I realized I loved you.” You said a bit breathlessly.

He stopped kissing you, his lips hovered in the base of your neck. Bucky returned his gaze to meet yours, his expression unbelievably soft. “That was the day you realized?” He let out a soft laugh.

You nodded. “I think it was when you were yelling at me, that vein at the top of your head looked like it was close to bursting.”

The two of you laughed. It was nice to hear him laugh. You let your hands continue to explore his chest.

“You were angry, and rightly so, but even then you were so gentle with me. Your hands shook when you wrapped the bandage around my shoulder, almost as if you were too afraid that you might hurt me. You stayed up talking with me all night when the pain was too much for me to sleep. It was... tenderness that I had never expected from you."

You flattened your hand over Bucky's heart, feeling the soft beat emminate from within.

"I had never been cared for like that before. I never realized how much my existence mattered until you.”

Bucky chuckled. “So me playing doctor won over your heart?”

You smiled at him and flicked his nose.

“No, silly. You were there for me when I needed you most. You loved me, in your own wonderful little way, before you even realized you were telling me. You made me fall in love with you that day, it tends to overshadow everything else, even the scars."

Bucky looked thoughtful for a moment. His eyes softened as he looked you over. “I never knew that moment was so special for you,” he said.

You smiled. “I wanted to give you a new memory,” you said gently. “One that brings you as much happiness as it does to me. It can be a moment we share together now. Forever. And I promise, no matter how long it takes, I will remind you everyday of all the moments that you've made special in my life. I have enough memories to chase away a thousand sleepless nights.”

Tears welled up in Bucky’s eyes. In that instant you knew the nightmare would no longer haunt him that night. There would be other nights, sure. Nights where the past threatened to encroach on the further, but you were un afraid. You would be there to fight that battle with him, and any other battle that came your way.

“How I love you, y/n,” Bucky murmured. He leaned his body on his side, using both of his hands to grip your face. His cool metallic arm sent chills down your spine, but you held his hands there to prevent him from pulling away. You love him. All of him.

“And I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. With all of my heart.”

A small smile spread across his face. His eyes seemed weary, as if sleep had finally begun to win its battle for the night. It would win, he knew it as well as you, but before it did, Bucky leaned closer until his lips met yours. He was soft and gentle, the movement of him was sweet like a lullaby. He murmured your name against your mouth, and he stroked the side of your face with unbearable tenderness.

You lazily reached across the bed until your hand found the light switch to the lamp. Once the light was off, Bucky pulled you in closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly as his chest heaved even, long peaceful breaths as he fell into a calm slumber.

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norwegian-dreams

4 years ago

I would literally do anything to make him happy.