TIKTOK IS DOWN I REPEAT TIKTOK IS DOWN

shuffling my playlist and assigning marvel characters/ships to songs

movies by conan gray: peter quill/gamora (post-infinity war)

francesca by hozier: tony stark (endgame) (it could honestly be anyone alive during endgame but it mostly reminds me of tony)

nostalgia by suki waterhouse: yelena belova & natasha romanoff (this is obviously a love song but my favorite thing is ignoring anything about love in songs and making it platonic)

savior complex by phoebe bridgers: steve rogers/bucky barnes (i mostly interpret it as steve to bucky but it could be either way tbh)

merry christmas, please don’t call by the bleachers: natasha romanoff & yelena belova (i actually made an edit of this on my old tiktok account… i wonder if i can find it saved on my phone)

the way i loved you by taylor swift: pepper potts/tony stark (its obvi pepper talking about tony and it fits SO well)

orange juice by noah kahan: tony stark (the mcu doesnt really have that much about his addictions but it still does show him hella drunk)

i know the end by phoebe bridgers: tony stark (“a haunted house with a picket fence to float around and ghost my friends. no, i’m not afraid to disappear” for endgame ohhhh im evil)

holidays by conan gray: peter parker (especially in no way home when he begins an entirely new life)

twenty one by the cranberries: natasha romanoff

john hughes movie by maisie peters: steve rogers/bucky barnes (bro bucky was so gay for him 😔)

firearm by lizzy mcalpine: yelena belova & natasha romanoff (once again this is a romantic song but this is soooo yelena talking to nat)

There was this horrible moment I had while reading SotR today where I realized Haymitch looked at Katniss and saw the dead little girl with dark braided hair he had to carry to Snow’s doorstep, his best friend he had to push away for his own good, and the Covey girl he couldn’t save all rolled into one more tribute he had to lead to her death wearing the meanest girl in town’s pin. I need to be sedated

HAYMITCH’S BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME DAY AS THE REAPING. THIS MEANS HE SPENT THE FIRST 15 YEARS OF HIS LIFE WATCHING KIDS BE SENT AWAY TO DIE, HIS 16TH BIRTHDAY BEING LITERALLY REAPED, AND THE NEXT 23. 2-3. TWENTY THREE!!! YEARS SENDING KIDS OFF TO THEIR DEATHS. AND THEN, KATNISS CAME, AND SHE AND PEETA LIVED!!!! AND THEN THE 75TH GAMES ARRIVED AND HAYMITCH WAS READY TO SPEND ANOTHER BIRTHDAY BEING REAPED, BUT INSTEAD WATCHED THE ONLY TWO KIDS FROM D12 WHO SURVIVED NEARLY (and temporarily) DIE AGAIN. STFU BRO

cassandra is the most convincing since she’s mostly quiet the whole time. she has a menacing enough aura to distract everyone from the fact that she is very clearly a girl

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

just realized frozen 2 is already five years old??? dont even talk to me im mourning the passage of time

yall r gonna be gutted when i find the motivation to turn my sad ideas into sad fanfiction

*writes two paragraphs after months of literally nothing and it took three hours*

they told me not to bring a knife to a gunfight. they didn’t say anything about webs

everytime ao3 goes down for maintenance, i somehow forget that i was given warning literally days in advance and my brain immediately starts stressing about our modern day Library of Alexandria

finnick was like katniss’ and peeta’s brother (separately, obv) and i dont take any criticism. thanks.