Y'all, You Ever Just Get Assaulted By The Idea Of How Devasting It Would Be For The Rest Of The World

Y'all, you ever just get assaulted by the idea of how devasting it would be for the rest of the world if SQH actually took care of himself, three meals a day and 8 hours of sleep sorta deal? How minds would be blown?

Because like, I have this headcanon that every peak lord has a different kind of beauty, yeah? Like SQQ has this very cold, ethereal beauty. And LQG has this very sharp, intimidating beauty. YQY has this very warm, confident beauty, beautiful big bro beauty. WQW has this rugged and debonair sort of beauty and so on and so forth.

And SQH, underneath all of the stress and sleepless nights, is the most adorable, endearing, cute person in the world. He's that cute that makes people go feral, like honest to God cute aggression.

So can you guys imagine like, let's say that SQH has a minor but very acute qi deviation because of how hard he works, yeah? It's not SJ level but enough for MQF to put his foot down and whisk his shixiong away to his peak and very politely forcing him to be taken care of So SQH can't do anything but rest, eat well, take some sun for that good vitamin d for his depression and chill.

(MQF has some close calls with SQH, of course. Some disciples that need their Shizun back. Some demons that don't understand they can't just teleport in and Try to steal his shixiong away. But because MQF has had plenty of training with SQQ and LBH, he perseveres)

Queue a couple of weeks later and SQH is getting some weird ass looks and doesn't understand why! Is there something on his face? He looks at his reflection more often His cheeks are rounder and pinkish but they look clean enough. Was it because he put on weight? His clothes aren't hanging off of him anymore... But MQF said it was a good thing.

Was it his hair? He thought it looked good. With nothing to do for all those weeks, he had thought That he had managed the bird's nest he had been saddled with. MQF and his head disciple had said it looked nice... Were they lying?

Look as he might, he can't find stuff that's too wrong with his face. So why are people staring at him like that?

....

And not just staring. They're acting weird too!

Like! Like! He went to talk to LQG about his peak going over the budget and the man looked like he would kill him. And then! When he finally managed to get his shidi to agree in keeping the costs down, he smiled, thankfully And LQG punched the table between them, breaking it in half! Like WTF, bro!

He thought they were cool now, after SQQ married Bīnghé!

Guess he was wrong...

Speaking of his son! He was weird too!

SQH'S body had decided to betray him after so many years. Just because he had shown weakness.

He couldn't go three hours without food anymore. Real food too! His adored melon seeds did nothing for the growling beast in his stomach.

Such a traitor! Didn't his body know he had a job to do? Aiya!

So imagine his embarrassment! His shame! When waiting for a weird acting Cucumber bro, his stomach growled noisely near LBH! WTF!

SQH looked down, apologetic, cheeks red with shame, and askes to be forgiven by Junshang.

The look LBH gave him was so deadly that he thought his days were numbered. But when Airplane thought LBH was going to give him the final strike, he merely got up and left his Shishu to wait alone.

Normal right?!

But then! When he was talking to SQQ, who was a lot More bitchy than usual, LBH brought snacks for his beloved. Usual, right?! NO!

For the first time in his life, LBH placed some of the plates in front of SQH! And two cups for the same pot of tea! Bīnghé usually made two pots of tea for them, one with the really good stuff for SQQ and one so and so for SQH!

And people might think he was insane! I mean, maybe the table was small, right? He had to place the snacks for Shizun near the other peak lord because there was no room but NO! There was so much room!

And to top it all off, after. While of just drinking tea, LBH asked why wasn't he eating??? WTF!!

He looked helplessly to SQQ but the traitor just arched a brow at him. Was this some sort of game? Was the food poison??

"Eat, shidi"

SQH had lived a... Life, right?

It wasn't the best life but it had been a life. Who knew it would end like this?

SQH ate the food. It was delicious. The soft exterior of the bun melted in his mouth giving way to the savory meat inside. It was the best food he ever had. It was heaven.

Ok.

He could die for this.

But as he happily ate, he must've done something! Because SQQ struck his head with the guard of his fan, waking him up from his bliss.

"What was that for?" He asked, heartbroken.

But Cucumber didn't answer. He merely grumbled about his stupid face and to just eat and shut up.

Weird, right??

And then he had been getting these-- things! They looked like gifts from his martial siblings but-- but that did not make any sense! They never, ever given him anything but work.

And at first he thought they were normal, yeah? He thought, for example, when WQW had given him a Very beautiful and blessed dagger that he wanted more of the ore that made it and told him he would see what he could do. When he managed to find the budget for it and purchase the ore,his shixiong had the nerve to ask him why he bought it!

SQH showed him the dagger and WQW had the gall to laugh at him and told him to keep it. Like it was a gift or something??

WTF??

But worst of all! Worst than all this weird crazy nonsense, was his king!

If MBJ had been needy, demanding, and spoiled before, it was nothing compared to now.

Now, MBJ demanded his full attention when they talked, looking him dead in the eye like he was trying to pick out a lie. Or when they sat, he pulled SQH to his lap like he was going to run away. Or get made when those weird not-gifts started to pile up in his house.

He had the sneaking suspicion that his king broke some of them too.

Aiya!

And because SQH'S body was a traitor now, not only did it need food like all of the time, it needed sleep too! He was now falling asleep on his king's lap all the time. So rude!

He tried to get MQF to deal with this weirdness but his shidi only said that it was normal.

And then patted his head! Like... Like--like he was a kitten or something!

WTF?!