Adachi: Clearly, I’m Already Going To Hell, So There’s No Point In Trying Anymore.

wangxian yuri 🫶🐺

Oh a fellow Rika lover! Any thoughts on her as a whole? Everyone views her differently and she's certainly a very complex character with lots of layers to her (another reason why she's one of my faves!). Maybe how would you interpret her own happy ending?

Hello, fellow Rika lover!!

I'll put my thoughts under a "read more", partially because I fear this will get lengthy and partially because I know Rika is a sensitive subject for many people!

Also putting a TW for SA and general abuse!

Honestly, I find Rika to be an extremely relatable character, at least from my perspective. She's a good (albeit exaggerated) example of what can happen if people who need help are abandoned.

A rough background is never justification for crime, but it can help explain it. This is a girl whose earliest memories are in an orphanage, who only had one person she could rely on. When she was stripped away from Mika, she at least thought she would have a happy, loving family.

Instead she lived a life where abuse came at her from all angles. Emotional and psychological abuse by her mother, physical and sexual abuse from the priest. She was treated like she was worthless--no, worse. She was treated like she was evil, a scourge upon the earth, devilspawn that would plague everything she touched.

She didn't want to be evil. She genuinely wanted to be a good girl and just have someone love her and be proud of her. But she turned to that "devil" that everyone made her out to be as a defense mechanism. If it kept her safe... how could it be a devil?

She genuinely strove to be a good person. She took in Sally, a stray, because she saw her own loneliness and neglect in that dog. She did originally want to use charity to help others. She went to a different church from the one she grew up attending, so that she could have a fresh life where nobody would judge her from the second she arrived, and she could actually help out.

The problem is that she still was missing that love. By the time she met V, she was... 18, if I recall correctly? 18 years of being unloved. By then she figured she had to be someone else, put on a mask in order to be liked, let alone loved.

And V was her sun. V, who could capture beauty and warmth in photos that Rika could have only dreamed of. She saw light and love and passion in his work. Truly, Rika at her core is a romantic, because V was genuinely surprised to hear her explanations and theories of his photos. He was the one who said, "Huh. It wasn't that deep for me, but part of the charm of art is that it means something different to everyone who sees it. I'd love to hear more about your beautiful, romantic visions of my pieces."

She saw his sunlight and wanted it for herself. But just having the sun in her arms wasn't enough. When V started calling Rika his sun, too... she wanted to become the sun. Because she saw the sun as a mother who gave a warm embrace to all of her children on earth. Rika had never known that warmth, and she needed it. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

Of course, we all saw how everything spiraled when Mika was dying, when Sally died, when Rika turned into a black hole that began to suck up the sun. V didn't--and couldn't--give her what she needed, and she snapped.

Candidly, I don't think that's too unrealistic. Growing up in an environment of abuse, and reaching out desperately to be loved but everything keeps falling apart around you. She went into survival mode, and that meant relying on her "devil." The darkness inside her protected her, and she couldn't give up on it entirely when it had saved her time and again. She didn't want to give into dark desires, but she felt that she had to. She genuinely wanted to be the sun.

And I think that's something people miss in Another Story. In casual & deep, she's too far gone. But Another Story, she still has a tiny fragment of hope of being able to love and be loved. That's why she's so desperate to form her "happy family", and why she goes off the wall when Ray disobeys her. She doesn't know how a mother is supposed to love. She never had that love. It's not good, it's not excusable, and it's not pretty.

But it's all she knew.

Rika is someone who had more masks than she had names (and she had three of those). She never was able to just exist as herself, always trying to fit a mold someone made for her (i.e. her mother), or to become someone else who lived a life she wanted (i.e. V). She lost herself along the way.

I think she genuinely loved the RFA, and to a certain extent did believe she could "save" them. She advertised Mint Eye as a haven for other outcasts, as a place where those who'd been scorned by the rest of the world could find solace and love. She had to become their sun, their Savior.

But Rika never had anybody to save her.

Now, common critiques are that she should've gone to therapy longer. And let me tell you, if you have a bad therapist? You don't want to go back. There is nothing more emotionally taxing than pouring out your heart and fears and insecurities and troubles to a stranger. Sometimes you get lucky, and you get someone who's patient and understanding and willing to work with you.

Sometimes you get a horrible person who invalidates your feelings, talks over you, and flat-out tells you, "You're too unstable for me to handle. Go get on medication then come back to me." (Speaking from experience, here.)

And that hurts! Having someone spit on the very essence of your soul! Picking yourself back up to find another therapist and pray things go better is... it's one of the toughest things a person can do. I can't blame Rika if she had a terrible therapist.

Plenty of people like to blame V, and let's be honest, he has his faults too. He couldn't give Rika the love she needed because he was so focused on fixing her. No, seriously, he went, "I can fix her. I can help her." But he's someone else whose intentions were pure. He saw how his father abandoned his mother, and he never wanted to do that. He saw a woman in need, and he thought of his mother. He had to help her. His conscience told him to, and he didn't want another ghost on his hands. He's self-sacrificing to a fault, and he's also insanely stubborn. He decided he'd follow her to hell and back to save her. It wasn't love, it was obsession, and he didn't realize that until it was too late. It was a moral fixation.

They both needed help. They weren't right for each other. But they clung to each other and fed off each other, and that's why V has a tragic end in every route but his own. Rika doesn't even get that.

So, I don't condone Rika's actions. But I can say that it's easy to see how someone with pure intentions and a will to do good... can lose themselves in a world that is so vile and full of malice, hate, despair, and suffering. I see Rika, and I see my own struggles to stay afloat in a world that wants me dead, as a queer Jewish AFAB person living in Florida. I see my own struggles with narcissistic parents and how I'm constantly second-guessing my thoughts and feelings. But I digress.

Anyway, a happy ending for Rika? Cottagecore lesbian. I'm not even kidding. Gosh, she's so lesbian-coded. Don't get me started. Nope, I'm starting, but I'll keep it brief.

Basically, oppressive Catholic upbringing telling her she's a devil who's going to hell no matter what and she has to take the abuse if she wants to be saved. She clings to the first person who shows remotely any interest in her well-being and thinks it's love. Rika is a lesbian who had to suppress her feelings or else damn herself further, and she clung to a man in a serious case of compulsory heterosexuality because he was kind to her and she was not accustomed to that. Look at the V bad ending where she seduces MC. She has way more chemistry with MC than she ever did with V. That's a comphet lesbian with gender envy of her ex, your honor.

Let her live in a cottage in the woods, far from the hustle & bustle of the city. Let her live alone with a woman where they bake pies and cross-stitch and read and just exist peacefully. Get her another puppy. She needs peace, fresh air, and grass.

Screenshots to show that I'm not just pulling my Rika analysis out of thin air, lol.

She's extremely insecure and has horrible fear of abandonment. But she was failed at so many levels: the orphanage, the church, V, therapy.

I want nothing more than to see Rika be happy.

something random to get me motivated to write!

- mod kokichi

Jealously | One sided feelings!Rika x F!Reader

CWs: none

"I should be jealous of you, shouldn't I?"

You froze in place, standing in one of those public gardens lovers take one another, or parents take their children to play in the crisp grass, or friends take baskets of food. Perhaps you weren't surprised, as you turned silently to find her standing there, golden hair framing her like the backing of a painting.

And she looked like one too, beautiful, soft, and out of reach. The distant, faraway look in her eyes giving away her craving. You assumed it was Jihyun. Or rather, the love she felt from him.

Her voice was tender, quiet, barely there. "It would be normal for me to be jealous. A pretty girl steals away my fiancé with a smile. Surely I should hate you?"

Was this the moment she confessed she'd fallen out of love with him? Or never did?

"I don't." And silence fell over you both. You were unsure of your words, so you simply waited. "Everyone else got hurt," And you knew what she meant, for she really was like the sun. Distantly beautiful, yet hurt those who got close. "Not you, but then again... You never got close, did you?"

Melancholy. That was how she seemed.

Minutes, or perhaps hours passed. It was always perhaps with her, never definite, always questioning.

"Goodbye, Rika." And with that you turned your back, on the shadow of the girl that once was.

"I think.. I think I'm jealous of him." And just as you turned around, she was gone. Disappeared behind trees, as though she hadn't just stood in front you.

Everything seemed a bit dim, like the sun has disappeared. And perhaps it had.

*

ada limón, after the fire

Getting serious for a moment this means nothing to anyone but peoplw make madakana so one sided which is special and painful but to some extent (specifically in regards to them caring about each other) untrue especially in it's current state they deeply care for each other you dont get it. It is very bittersweet and the time kanata spent sort of resentful of him was really good and really painful but he acknowledges him as his savior even if madara refused to its really good and bittersweet either way they are so important to each other as characters and as people and even in meteor impact after being almost cruel to him he still shows care for him in a way. Theres just something really wrong with both of them (which is so good) Whatever. Kicks rock

I continue to be consumed by them 😎

Seven and 8 (lol) for the headcannons 😂😘

you damn weeaboos-

It feels WEIRD to write NSFW, I always censore it as much as possible and it’s just WEIRD to do this it comes out as if it was some random shit and not NSFW T_T … Or like some goddamn poetry when no one knows what’s it about.

Sex headcanon - for Seven

Intimacy is something that comforts him.

There still are times when his depression strikes, and at some point he won’t just, push you away, he will try to run away instead as if being around other people was a sin to him.

And yet your touch makes him stay every time, he cannot ignore it, he’s unable to take a step away from you the very moment he feels your skin on his.

It’s sometimes scary how much he needs you, how much the fear of you being sad or feeling abandoned makes him want to run into your arms and never leave your side.

But at these moments, the only thing he can think about is to be with you, to let you caress his wounds.

He trusts you more than he trusts himsef. He trusts that you won’t hurt him as many people in his life did, that he can completely relax and let you take a lead, for once in his life.

The way your lips whisper comforting words is as if you were casting a spell upon him. Every inch of his body anticipates the moment when you two become one.

He can’t help but feel addicted to it. 

Because even if only a while, you help him forget about cruelty of the world.

Headcanon meme