Emiari Is So Cute Bru…….

Me when I don't feel pretty if I don't have cuts on my arms

Me when I don't feel pretty if I have cuts on my arms

i love when he vents to me in long paragraphs so i can send even longer ones back telling him how amazing he is and how he has so much potential and hes so smart and handsome and amazinf and clever and my bestest friend and i love him so much hes my shayla hes my everything i dont want him to die ever hes my world idc how fucked up he is in the head or how much he might hurt me becayse at the end of the day all that matters is that he's venting to me and i get to be the one who comforts him ❤

in my delsusional little world, nicoole and jecka have aminecraft wolrd that nicole built for them, and jecka just made their beds pink and put them together <3

I hope someone sees my vision here jeez 😭

You don't see stars here, they're just city lights

I think back to where you live and how you can see the entire sky.

It's occasional, sometimes I'll see the moon

And I'll think of you

Jecka’s left for college, shes left home, cut contact with everyone, and starting over. However it’s not the same like it is back home, where she would sit on the roof with Nicole and look at the stars, and the moon. The moon she can’t see anymore. She tries hard to see it and the star once more, but she’s unable to.

My mom will convince me, and I'll get the courage to ask

We will get coffee in Canton and you'll nervously laugh

When we hug, 'cause we don't hug, we never used to do that

We don't do that

Nicole’s mom finally gets her to leave the house, and it ends up being when Nicole texts Jecka after 6 months asking to meet again, for coffee. She thinks it’s gay, but you gotta do what you gotta do. When they finally see each other again, they’re awkward and nervous and unsure in what to do, and that spirals into an awkward hug, that doesn’t feel like “them”. They never hugged (besides when they were drunk or high off of their tits) and it just doesn’t feel right because it wasn’t their thing and wasn’t about to become it either.

Sometimes I go to sleep

And I'm still 17

You still live down my street

You're not mad at me

Sometimes Jecka falls asleep in her shitty college bed, and if she thinks hard enough it’s like being back home. Home where she was able to walk a few minutes and she’d be at Nicole’s house. She misses this but Nicole isn’t good for her. Jecka had always thought Nicole was made at her for leaving, so when she starts thinking, Nicole isn’t mad. In fact, shes happy - something Jecka didnt normally see, but genuinely loved it.

And in that dream, I will say everything I wanted

That every day after May, I haven't found what I needed

No one has come close to you

And I don't think anyone will

The said thoughts become a constant dream for the next week, and Jecka’s able to spill her guts to Nicole. She’s rambling about anything and everything when she starts talking about how leaving her feels like a piece of her was missing, and she hasn’t found something to permanently fill it, because nothing will ever come close to Nicole. She was like a rare, one of a kind artifiact you could never replace.

Sometimes I go to sleep

And I'm still 17

You still live down my street

You're not mad at me

Nicole still lives at her mom’s house, paying rent but unemployed. Most nights she lays in bed, mind wandering but it always comes back to jecka. She falls asleep and shes once again in her prime era - being seventeen - and everything back to normal. Jecka is still a ten minute walk away (it would be five but Nicole cant be asked to walk faster). Ever since jecka left, Nicole blamed herself, for no particular reason. She just felt like it was fitting - everything was her fault anyway, this wasn’t anything special. Except it hurt worse when jecka stopped texting and calling. “Shes mad at me” was a constant thought, but now, in her stupid yet comforting make believe land, Jecka isn’t angry at her, and they’re smoking cigarettes in her bedroom again.

I have a feeling you got everything you wanted

And you're not wasting time stuck here like me

You're just thinkin' it's a small thing that happened

The world ended when it happened to me

Jecka always wanted to go to college, and do something with her life. She was getting everything she wanted - a well paying job, a rich husband, a new life with no toxicity or abuse or drugs. Nothing to ruin the perfect image she was slowly building brick by brick, chapter by chapter, line by line. She wasn’t wasting time like Nicole, who was still taking every pill in the medicine cabinet. Like Nicole, who was staying in bed until 6pm the next day, wasting away. Like Nicole, who couldnt move out of her mom’s house because she had learned to be depends on her. Jecka would say it was a small thing, her moving away “I’ll still call you, dumbass,” but being left alone with her thoughts, the only one left who hadn’t gotten their life together yet might if actually ended Nicole’s world.

I have a feeling you got everything you wanted

And you're not wasting time stuck here like me

You're just thinkin' it's a small thing that happened

The world ended when it happened to me

Jecka thinks back about Nicole, and that girl has what she wanted - no job, no school, drugs and alcohol and a bed. She had razor blades, and shit - maybe she would kill herself before she was 30. It didn’t seem much, and probably stupid to other people, but they didn’t know Nicole like Jecka did. College had been a slow, slow walk so far - Jecka felt like she had learned nothing, since she learned all this back in high school. It felt like she was wasting away at her desk, slaving over her laptop and a bit of A4 paper. Nicole always seemed uncaring or unaffected when jecka mentioned college. It was a small thing, supposedly. It didn’t matter, because they were only high school friends anyway - this was destined to happen. However Nicole didnt know how Jecka would lay there and sob, because she was fucking her life over. She didn’t want a career in the medical field. She didn’t want a rich husband. She didn’t want a new life; she wanted something small, but payed her rent - or something big like an actor, so she could get the attention she craved. She didn’t want a rich husband - shit, she didn’t even like guys! She wanted a wife. Or girlfriend or whatever you called it. She didn’t want a new life - she wanted the messy, toxic one she had before with Nicole. Her world collapsed inwards when she started her car, her own glassy eyes catching Nicole’s dead ones in the rear view mirror.

When it happened to me, when it happened to me

They both have no idea how much it’s affected the other, being apart and not talking. It’s like a telepathic sort of thing, or voodoo or whatever. It physically hurt them both.

I have a feeling you got everything you wanted.

Jecka got to go to college, and start over

And you're not wasting time stuck here like me

Nicole is wasting away in bed, doing drugs and getting drunk by midday

You're just thinkin' it's a small thing that happened

They both said it wasn’t a big deal

The world ended when it happened to me

Yet they feel empty and unfixable without each other. They had one fragment of themselves missing, and nothing was the right size to fix it, like a jigsaw puzzle. So until something happens, they’ll remain memories just out of reach.

Idk what this means but I could make a sick edit of them if it was a show 💔💔 @st4rlight-kayz @spaceboyden @silverwasafukintrainwreck @polomarco2

Your art is so pretty?! How do you do it? 💕

class of 09 but in my artstyle + hcs

class of 09 ocs here, too

happy drawing! this took me 3 days

(i just saw a small typo on haydens, its buttercozzells* imma jump off bro)

OMG MY MOM CHECKED MY PHONE AND I WAS SO SCARED SHE WAS GONNA FIND TUMBLR

I am very normal about Jeckole and do NOT get emotional at the very sight of them and I am once again very normal about Jeckole

THESE MADE ME KAUGH ICL 😭❤️ I OOVE THEM IM GINNA ADD THEM TO SOME RANDOM AU or SMTH 😭

Hey Joe 👅👅👅👅👅👅

Uh

Oiay well im crashingout rn bc I think my friends HATE MEEE 💔💔😔 ik it’s horrible and I don’t wanna go in tmr but I want my Easter egg 😼

Anyway

I want your most gut wrentchingly sad Emily OR jecka headcanons. And no bs like their hamster died when they were 4, but worse 👩🏿‍🦰

OKAYYY ERM..

Emily

Emily saw a gun commercial at the age of 6, when she saw the actor pulling the trigger... she was absolutely traumatized– but she wanted to try it on herself (holy shit) and after sneaking into her dad's bedroom later that night, she found his pistol and aimed for her head, it didn't go off the first time– but the second time was.. yeah.

She did have a crush on Nicole but when she witnessed what kind of a bitch she was with Ari, e.g, choking her in public, she was terrified of Nicole, since then? Emily has been avoiding her and secretly dated Jecka behind her back. (Should I make a fic about this?)

Emily hasn't recovered from that gun incident, everytime she sees one, she ends up freaking the fuck out– Jecka and Ari have to comfort her everytime she has a panic attack.

Emily lashes out on Nicole when she sees her with Ari because of 2 reasons. 1). She hates when Nicole puts her (Ari) hands on her but she doesn't do shit about it because she can't fight. 2). Ari had a crush on Emily but after Nicole convinced her that she was an affectionate partner– She kissed her immediately and Nicole pushed her off.

Emily has attachment issues, she has to be by Jecka or Ari 24/7 because she has nightmares because of.. (hint: the first hc)

Emily tried to commit arson to Nicole's house twice. That's how much she can't fucking stand Nicole, she wants her to die, after abusing, and torturing Ari anyways.

Jecka

Jecka can't keep up with Nicole's bullshit, after trying to keep her accountable multiple times, she gives up.

Jecka has also seen Nicole's abusive actions and tries to befriend Ari so she can convince her to break up with Nicole.

Jecka does have PTSD from Nicole threatening to beat the shit out of her– That's why she's always wearing hoodies so she doesn't get exposed to her peers or sent to therapy.

Emily and Jecka actually have a great friendship, passing Adderall and Xanax to each other during classes is a way they cope with the memories of Nicole.

Jecka often started wearing blue because of Emily. Nicole used to wear blue but, holy shit– that would trigger her as well.

Jecka has teamed up with Em multiple times to fuck up Nicole's life, her image and everything. They even brought her her dad's suicide and she ended up crying in the bathroom later that day, they laughed at her. (Payback for fucking with Ari <3)

IF THESE AREN'T GUT-WRENCHING ENOUGH IM SORRYY😭😭 Poor Emily tho😔

I fucking hate Crispin from class of 09

I actually hate him so much

like out of everyone

he pisses me TF off the most.