Can You Even Imagine Being The Poor Alien Sod Responsible For Auditing An Earthling Spaceship’s Spending

Man human imprinting is crazy. My friend’s roomba zoomed by me and I got this intense urge to reach down and pat it. Like it’s just a machine? But it’s a good boy? It spends all day cleaning and sleeping and exploring the house and never complains and it’s just so good little robot? Pet robot?? Pet the robot????? Why am I like this???

Give a bored human a screwdriver and you’ll find a pile of scrap where your ship used to be, with a proud looking human sitting nearby. 

How's Everyone Feeling, Philosophical?

I wanna discuss stuff- from the ship of Theseus, the new designs for the Aph UK bros, to Autism. Let’s start a conversation- you first. 

Grow, 2020. By Jessica Andersdotter. Click here for more of my art.

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

Dear Hetalia Fandom

I am hoping to do my college project on the subculture of the Hetalia Fandom, and I hoping for some personal opinions. Just some simple questions if you can answer them. What do you think the hetalia fandom values within its community members? What are some symbols that mean things to you as a part of this fandom? What are your favorite fan fictions and why? What’s been your experience in the community? When did the 2P! part of the fandom pop up? And finally, have any of you got any options on the common themes throughout APH fan-fiction of immortality, heretical ethics, family, and mental illness? 

The Gondola

Have you ever misinterpreted something and really just questioned how that your version was the misinterpretation? 

It all started when school decided, many decades ago, that children were clearly going to pay attention at 7:30 am to a lecture on the French Revolution. Luckily for my class our teacher recognized that we would not be listening unless he woke us up first. So he preceded with his tried and true method, second only to giving us donuts, and third to jumping-jacks, was by gossiping about school and just life with us. 

So we did our usual morning conversations of a few of the more extroverted kids telling us what they did on the weekend, my only friend in the class ignoring everything to draw for a mother competing she entered, and then proceeding to us pestering the teacher with personal questions. This led to the very American question- 

“Hey, you're a public school teacher with three kids, how do you mange to live in the ‘rich kids neighborhood?’”

And that is where he began the Gondola story. And in actuality his story was shorter than my introduction. He simply answered-

“My wife fell off a Gondola before we met, and she sued the ranch.” 

Now, there are many things I misinterpreted from that sentence alone, but no, it got much worse because the second he said that, the entire class(Except my lone friend who was still nose deep in her iPad) gasped and asked if she(his wife) was alright, okay, doing well, etc. Well, those are okay-ish reactions, I guess. I mean, was the water dirty? 

If you haven’t guessed by this point, when I heard the word “Gondola” I assumed we were talking about the small Italian boat. I wasn’t even hung up on how the wife was doing, I assumed a small 1 foot drop in some water was not life threatening, I mean she clearly lived, this is before she married our history teacher. I was hung up on that he said “sued” and “Ranch.” I was not aware that Gondola’s were like Ubers, or taxi’s, I thought they sort of individually did that sort fo thing. And why would there be a Gondola on a ranch? 

But those questions were immediately shunted to the bottom of the list after what came next. The most prominent follow up question was-

“How far did she fall?”

What? It is a Gondola. How far could she have possibly fallen?

“85 feet.” 

Now most of my class reacted as one would suspect, with loud gases and “oh-no’s.” But I’m not most of my class. My only thought was ‘what?’ I had moved on from her safety by this point because my only reference for how far a human has to fall to die is 630 feet because that’s the height of the St. Louis arch- and never mind I was more baffled by falling 85 feet out of a Gondola. 

I didn’t even begin to think that maybe I had misinterpreted something by that point because I was more troubled with trying to visualize a Gondola, with 85 stools on it and- no, how would that work? It’s too tall and the base is too small, it would topple over. Not to mention that the Gondola would never fit under any bridge, at all. 

How was this all cleared up, you might ask? Well another one of my classmates asked which ski ranch it was at- 

Yes, as I figured out my asking my only friend, in my neck of the woods we call Ski Lifts, specifically the fully enclosed ones, Gondolas. The wife is fine, she’s doing well with little-to no adverse health effects(She actually bounced off something during her fall, but it’s not my story to tell.) and my history teacher is still teaching. And that is how I misinterpreted Gondolas.