A Text I Never Expected To Receive From My Mother

We abducted humans.

To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).

But we underestimated humans.

It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.

But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.

Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.

But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.

He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.

We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.

This is a fairy tale and I love it.

Is it ok if i swear?

Ready for summer to come back — Mount Rainier Natl Park, WA [4448x5568] [OC] - Author: ryanditch on reddit

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Something I’m going to Call Dad-Talks

So I realize I have very interesting conversations with my dad. So I’m gonna talk about them. They’ll range from comedy to tragedy to philosophy, but the point is socratic discussions. I love Dialogues, so I’m gonna phrase the dad talks as them, and they’ll come out in episodes. 

I just want to point out that this is actually a pretty awesome part in the comic and a move pulled straight out from one of Mark Twain’s novels. In this scene Tintin and Captain Haddock have been catered by people who are unaware that  a solar eclipse does not mean the sun is being eaten, destroyed, stole, etc. It just so happens that tomorrow, the date of their fated exception by said people, there will  be a solar eclipse. So during the execution Tintin pretends to be a god and steal the sun so the people will release him, and it works! 

This was taken straight from Mark Twain, in is book “Yankee in the King’s Court.” It’s a comedy(at least by interpretation) of a New Yorker traveling back in time and ending up in a medical kingdom. When condemned to death by the King, because how was a Yankee supposed to know proper knightly etiquette, he uses his knowledge of a solar eclipse to escape his death sentence. 

So yeah!

Tintin remembers what comes after 15.

PSA: Today is #MentalHealthAction Day! Just leaving these here for you.

4 super easy actions you can take right now:

Step 1: Go through your own self-love checklist - maybe add meditation, listening to a favorite song, watching a funny video, taking a deep breath and a stretch break, looking into counseling, reaching out to a friend, or asking for help!

Step 2: Browse through our mental health playlist on Tiktok for tips

Step 3: Visit and share our Get Help page with resources from over 1,000 organizations in 30+ countries, making it one of the most comprehensive databases for LGBTQ+ youth in the world.

Step 4: Remember that no matter what tough thing you’re going through right now…it gets better. 💜