This Is By Far The Strangest And Yet The Most Amazing Cosmere Post I Have Ever Seen.

This is by far the strangest and yet the most amazing Cosmere post I have ever seen.

Legitimate Oathbringer Theories

Dalinar feels the knights radiant has too many bad connotations so renames them the power rangers.

Adolin is excluded from the power rangers and in his anger bonds with the sticks spren creating an 11th order

Renarins shard is an electric guitar

Wayne

Drehys love interest turns out to be every single member of bridge four and also the stormfather

Kaladin is happy

As surgebinding seems to be semihereditary, every single one of lopens cousins becomes a radiant, aka every herdazian alive

Shallan punches odium, very very hard

Vivenna is shalash????

Lift eats her first chicken and her second chasmfiend

Exactly three people die in the cosmere during the course of this book

One of which is waxs great grandma, the oldest person in the cosmere who has not meddled with immortality

Szeth joins renarins band (as drums) though he wants to rename the genre something other than rock

Rysn bonds with the nightwatcher, and the larkin grants her every form of investiture in the cosmere except jindoeese dance

I cry

Shallan is introduced to hot chocolate

Wit reuses a joke (and steals a couple of waynes)

Jasnah and kelsier fight each other over who’s apprentice/ward/daughter figure is better, wax wins despite not being in the contest

Shallan becomes an honour student at the Silverlight university, and is the ace of both the basketball and pokemon team (this may or may not be down to lightweaving)

There is a stick chapter

We find out hoids real name and four new pseudonyms, but not which are which

Wayne joins renarins band and they are called the stone shamans

Szeth is not impressed

Taln goes on holiday to shinovar and the purelake

Galladon meets with vasher and kaladin to form a rival band called the grouches

2+2=pickle

All the death rattles turn into lyrics from the stone shamans

Navani invents a fabrial which is extremely similar to a microwave, and makes billions profit

The stone shamans are the favourites to win roshars got talent, but it is snatched away by eshonai doing contemporary dance

Odium is quelled by the discovery of hot chocolate