My Ears Are Ringing Ringing Oof Went To A Loud Concert And Forgot Ear Protection But It Was So Goood

Here is the summary of the Stormlight Archive

unhappy july 4th because america is fucked but I did get roasty toasted in the sun

You know how some people think Cale is a dragon? I would like to add fuel to that fire by reminding you that dragons are seen as "Laid back" and known to like solitude and that Cale is open about his dream of being a slacker, as well as the fact where he lives (super rock villa) is in a forest in an underground cave. And when I mean people I mean the general public.

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power 

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’

Do we cry now?

Edit: now this feels like a political stunt to garner youth support for the right by “saving” tiktok. God I have so much hate for Trump and his whole squad ugh.

Skibidi die.

Would you like your cat floof or slim

I haven’t fact checked this but is that Robin Williams in the new ant man trailer?

Edit: I’m dumb it’s Bill Murray

I’m on a reread of tcf so expect more lists soon. This is mostly for myself but have it anyways. I’m just past chapter 200 on the reread so the attack with the northern alliance is underway.

TCF TL/PR notes that made me lol

29 Cat washing face reference

1. Something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J_Bl9f-MTA

50 About Toonka (TL: Yet he got shipwrecked…clearly didn’t survive the sea…(PR: Perservering = Survival)

51 ( It’s a small boat that requires oars but has rooms and windows?! o.O )

57 “That’s enough thanks. If you thank me anymore, it will not feel genuine. Same thing with the apology.”

“Got it. Thank you very much.” ( (PR: You had one job.) )

59 Cale could see the still flawless Violan’s eyes turning chilly. ( :O If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is Beacrox’s mom! )

59 “Yes, daddy.” ( I’m sorry, I just had to. It was the perfect opportunity. )

59 ( … The Henituse family is the Night’s Watch … )

68 Cale knew how Shickler had domesticated the troublemaker Archie. He beat him up. He beat up him so much that the entire ocean seemed to be filled with dust. He really beat him to a pulp while saying that a beating was the best medicine for a troublemaker. ( (PR: I pity Witira and Paseton.) TL: You mean envy. You like the pain as a masochist… )

71 Toonka got up while staggering to the side. At that moment, Cale could hear Raon’s serious voice.

– …Why is he laughing after getting hit? Does he enjoy getting hit? ( Our PR’s masochistic friend. (PR: I’m innocent I swear.) )

74 about Mueller ( (PR: I originally felt pity. Now I am thinking that we can do without one more mage.) )

76 ( (PR: Raon is a yandere…) )

110 Cale looked odd as he suddenly stopped laughing and stoically stood there. A path of silver coins was shining on top of the boiling lava. That silver light meshed well with the red-haired Cale.

“Weak human.”

“What?”

“Let me know if you don’t have enough! I am willing to give you my piggy bank!” ((PR: IT’S ADORABLE.) ) …

The king of rocks, the Giant Cobblestone that is known as the, ‘Super Rock,’ is in the land of boulders. (Really wanted to call it Dwayne Johnson )

112 Cale could see an old Elf with white hair and beard walking toward them. It was the Elf Chief. However, unfortunately, he did not have time to greet her. (I double checked the raw and it does indeed say beard but it is a woman )

114 The group all looked toward Cale at Ron’s question. He had fainted after coughing up blood. They knew that Cale was a good person who really liked to help others, but they also knew that Cale did not enjoy moving around and getting hurt. (Pfft, you’ve all been scammed to believe he’s a good person! (PR: I mean, he COULD have just ignored the Elves’ plight…) )

118 “Just what are you selling to the Whipper Kingdom that Alberu keeps laughing for no reason when he is alone?”

“… His highness keeps laughing when he is alone?” ((PR: Cale broke him.) )

129 Hannah let out a quiet chuckle. Although her poisoned body was still in pain, she was now full of vitality. Cale gently asked Hannah, who seemed to be imagining the opportunity to get her revenge. (Cale just collects people who want revenge. )

135 He could see that Tasha was looking at him with warm eyes and that the black robe was coming toward him. (Author references Mary as black robe frequently because that’s all you can see. (PR: And I hate it.) )

142 “It has been wonderful having Cage-nim here. If it is okay with you, young master-nim, I hope that Miss Cage can stay here longer.” (Went from Cage-nim to Miss Cage in one breath. New ship? Poor Taylor. )

148 ‘It’s not a matter of if I will be fine or not. I don’t think I’ll be able to differentiate. Once I start to see blood, I can’t stop myself from killing anything in front of me.’ ((PR: Hannah was the one who said that a sea of blood would be beautiful. I don’t think her blood addiction is as bad as Redika, but she definitely still has a blood addiction. Why is everyone in this novel a sadist?) )

151 The Count nodded his head multiple time as he answered.

There was a different kind of smile on his face now. Raon, who was watching the father-son duo chat while remaining invisible, started to speak into Cale’s mind.

– Human, the Count is smiling like you do when you are scamming people! It is amazing! It is very similar! ((PR: I wonder what Deruth’s young scamming years were like…) )

158 “Was it you?”

“What are you talking about, your highness?”

Alberu was certain after seeing Cale eating a cookie with an expression that seemed to be saying, ‘I know nothing.’

“It was you.”

“What was?”

“What did you do to the Vatican?”

Crunch.

Cale started to smile as he bit down on the cookie. ((PR: Cale is an innocent lil child.) )

………

‘That knight is originally from the slums.’

‘Apparently, he grew up with poor parents and many siblings, but his good character made him popular with the people in the slums and the general public. They call him a Dragon from the river. (This is an idiom for something rare. You wouldn’t normally find a Dragon coming out of a river. (PR: A-Are dragons common in other places then?) )

Alberu shocked to find out choi han is a sword master ((PR: Oh if only he knew Cale’s party’s full strength…) )

160 Huten and Metelona. ((PR: Their names sound like pokemon.) )

164 Cale ~must~ go home and spend the new year with his family ((TL: such a good boy.))

172 “Just one of the many average people.” ((TL: Just your friendly neighborhood Spider-man.) )

174 Cale quickly understood what Hong was trying to say. ((PR: I can’t even read lips, but young master Silver Light can understand animals!) )