Underwear Rules

You never managed to get a lot of sleep. Each night it was the same routine.

She’d lay you down on the bed, slowly pulling down the zip of his pants and slipping them down your legs, revealing the chastity cage which always made her giggle. Next she’d undo the buttons of your shirt one by one until you lay there naked.

A crisp fresh diaper was then pulled out of the cupboard, and you knew the routine. You’d lift up your bum slightly so she could slip it under him and tape it round his waist. Hiding the straining chastity cage under a layer of thick padding.

Every night you’d wonder how you’d ever managed to get yourself in this situation as she pulled out a onesie to slip over your head, doing up the straps before giving the front of your diaper a rub.

“Straining hard tonight aren’t we!” she laughed, “how long has it been since you were let out?”

She’d switch off the lights and climb into bed alongside you, looking completely gorgeous as always.

“You can hump me for a bit if you want, but only a couple of minutes… I’ll be texting a real man who’ll know how to fuck me properly”. She kissed you gently on the forehead.

“Goodnight”

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Guided masturbation is so much fun, especially when your sub obeys your every single word. Watching them work themselves up, moaning and begging you to let them go faster or please, please touch them is fun. Asking them if they’re close, how close and if they want to cum for you like a good puppy. Then telling them they’re not allowed, to stop moving their hands and stop bucking off the bed.

When they’re so wet and horny and ready to cum but they don’t because they want to be good for you is so much fun. The whine in their voice when they beg, the red of their bitten lips, the tremble of their thigs and catch in their throat when you make them do it all over again. Oh it’s so much fun.

Discovering your ABDL partner’s true identity and supporting them to not hide from it.

For some ABDLs, this is just a sexual fetish where they’ll wear once or twice a week for sex and that’s it. However, for the majority, it’s much more than that and you’ll know this if your partner wears a diaper outside of sex-oriented times and especially if they talk about how diapers make them feel better/happier and less stressed/anxious.

Realizing that this was more than just a fetish for my boyfriend was a big turning point for me and I made the decision that I wanted to help him accept and embrace who he was rather than him being ashamed. The mental health improvement for him of me doing this was greater than I could have imagined and is the main driver why I produce this content to try to help others.

The vast majority of ABDLs struggle with the feelings of shame and fears of their secret being discovered which often develop from childhood and their early teenage years. This comes from a general lack of acceptance of non-conformist lifestyles and it’s although it’s something we’re seeing change positively for LGBTQ+ people, widespread acceptance of ABDL is still a while away. This shame causes stress, anxiety, binge/purge cycles, and other mental health issues.

The crazy thing is ABDL is in no way “bad” or “wrong”, they have a preference to wear a different type of underwear which makes them feel better and enjoy not having to use dirty toilets all the time. Some might also like acting younger to destress or like the feeling of being forced to wear/use diapers. But crucially none of this has a negative impact on themselves as they aren’t causing harm to their bodies (unlike alcohol, fast food & drugs do) or harm to others around them. Equally wearing diapers isn’t even at all uncommon in the general population, in most western countries more adult diapers are sold than baby diapers now and it’s estimated that up to 10% of adults are wearing some sort of incontinent product on a daily basis.

I believe strongly that you should treat this as being part of their identity and not something that should be restricted, shamed, or avoided. 

A big challenge for partners though is because of this shame and feeling of guilt your partner is likely hiding some or all of their real identity from you. 

Discovering their true identity

Below are the key and common elements to ABDL identity and hopefully the questions under each section should help you identify which applies to your partner. You might be able to ask these to yourself but also don’t be afraid to directly ask your partner as well.

Diapers

Do they enjoy wearing adult diapers?

Does wearing diapers make them feel safer or more comfortable?

Are they less stressed or anxious when wearing diapers?

If nobody would find out, would they always wear a diaper?

If they’ve answered yes to 2 or more of these then it’s clear that wearing diapers is a key part of their identity.

Diaper usage

Are they happy to wet their diaper at home?

Are they happy to wet their diaper in public?

Are they happy to mess their diaper at home?

Are they happy to mess their diaper in public (as long as nobody is inconvenienced)?

Does the idea of being a bedwetter appeal to them?

Does the idea of being incontinent appeal to them?

These are straightforward but look for signs of hesitation. They might be embarrassed to answer these truthfully, especially the ones about messing so push hard to get an answer and tell they you just want the truth.

Middle Behaviors (4- 12 years old) 

Do they like acting like a child?

Do they enjoy childish activities such as coloring, playing with lego, and watching cartoons?

Do they like to dress in childish clothing such as bright colors & printed t-shirts?

Treat these responses as a way to work out how “middle” they are. Think of this like a spectrum from not a middle at all to they would love to live life as a middle.

Baby Behaviors  (1- 3 years old) 

* Do they often wear baby-themed adult diapers?

* Do they like to wear patterned onesies?

* Do they have or would like to wear other adult baby clothing at home?

* Do they feel more relaxed when sucking on a pacifier?

* If they could choose would they like to drink from bottles or sippy cups?

* Are they able to regress and act like a baby or toddler?

* Do they enjoy watching baby and toddler TV shows?

* Would they like to add AB furniture to our home, like a crib or high chair?

Treat these responses as a way to work out how “baby” they are. Think of this like a spectrum from not having baby tendencies, to they would love to like life as a baby if they could. Most people will be in the middle area of these extremes.

I’d divide this up into 5 levels:

No AB tendencies = answered no to all of the questions

Novice AB = Answered yes to the top two questions and maybe one other question

Intermediate AB =  Answered yes to 4 questions but potentially struggles to regress fully

Experienced AB = Answered yes or potentially to most questions

Full AB = Answered yes to everything

Forced Diapers & Regression

* Do they like the idea of being forced to wear diapers?

* Do they like the idea of being forced to use their diapers?

* Do they like the idea of being forced to be a baby?

* Do they like the idea of being treated as / dressed as a different gender? (e.g. man dressed as a baby girl)

* Do they like the idea of being restrained such as through bondage or locking clothing? 

If they answer yes to a question, ask how often they’d want to feel forced. Is it just occasional or all the the time. It would be quite common for someone to answer they’d like to be forced to wear diapers all the time but only occasionally forced to be a baby.

What’s next?

Asking these questions to yourself or them directly should now give you a good idea of their ABDL identity.

Diaper wearing and usage

Let’s start with the first two sections on diapers and usage. Seeing as you’re reading this I’m sure they answered yes to most of the diaper questions. It’s also likely they like using their diapers for at least wetting.

Given you now know that wearing and using diapers makes them happier you should ask yourself what is stopping them from wearing all the time. The answer is likely a combination of:

* They’re worried you won’t approve

* They feel guilty about having these desires generally

* They feel awkward wearing around you or asking if they can wear 

* They’re worried they’ll be discovered

* They’re in a period of low self-worth after an orgasm

The first three you can solve by actively encouraging them to wear as much as possible, you know this makes them happier and have better mental health so for me at least this was a no-brainer.

The fear of discovery is massively overblown, give them assurance their diaper is hidden when leaving the house and in the extremely unlikely event someone does notice you can easily say their having some waterworks issues. People however unless very close friends or family won’t mention anything.

This final one is extremely common in men and the best way to solve is by making sure either they have no choice but to stay diapered after an orgasm or use a chastity cage to prevent them in the first place. The latter I’ve found to be very helpful for my partner if you’re open to it and it has lots of benefits for you too.

So I overall I cannot recommend highly enough that  you encourage or force your partner to be diapered as much as possible. You might want exceptions for work and family initially but your goal (knowing that the time in diapers helps them) is to keep them diapered as much of each day as feasible.

If they didn’t answer with a hard no to any of the first 4 usage questions, then their diapers should be their toilet when wearing. If they do have a hard limit on messing then that can be accommodated but make sure it’s not just them saying what they think you want to hear.

Regression

If they identify as middle then this is easy to accommodate and just make sure you let them know that you want them to explore this side of themselves and they shouldn’t feel embarrassed to do childish activities at home. Buy them coloring books, lego sets and put cartoons on tv for them without them asking are easy ways to show this support.

Most will have identified with baby activities to some degree. If they’re in the novice or intermediate categories then your main role is to be supportive and encourage them with these simple baby elements. Help them pick out baby-themed diapers for the day or buy new ones online together. At night always have them dressed in a baby onesie and encourage a pacifier to be used before bed. Giving them a nighttime drink in a bottle will show your support and is convenient to drink in bed.

If they’re in the experienced or full ab categories you will need to consider more significant involvement. At these levels you should try help them get into a baby headspace lasting several hours at least 3 times a week. When in this headspace you should treat them completely as a baby, helping feed, check and change them and giving them baby toys or shows to watch. This time will massively destress them so it’s worth the effort. Outside of these times baby clothing and diapers should be the norm at home with pacifier usage encouraged at any time they want. If you have a spare room and can afford it, creating a dedicated nursery for them can be life-changing for them and keep everything in one easy place which can be locked when you have guests.

This might feel extreme to you right now but our experience is people become more AB over time so you should prepare the slowly move up the bands.

Forced Diapers & Regression

I don’t think this element gets talked about enough but many ABDLs are driven by the desire for it to be forced upon them.

If they’ve said they want to be forced to wear and use diapers occasionally then make sure that a few times a week you present them with diapers and tell them they’re in them until you say so. Forcing them to use their diapers can be achieved through making sure they drink plenty and using laxatives or suppositories.

If they have said they’d like to be forced all the time then the solution is clear. Read our article on making the decision for them and return them to diapers full time, make it clear you’re forcing this decision for them as you know it what they want and it will be good for them. They will resist at points but stand firm, they’ll thank you later. 

Even if they’re in diapers full time with no toilet privileges, you should still force them to truly lose control twice a week. I recommend doing one suppository a week; before watching tv or a film together, before sending them out of the house to go shopping or randomly in the daytime when their next change is a few hours away. And also using a tablet laxative once a week which can be given in the evening to ensure they lose control overnight.

Depending on their answer to being force to be baby, use this to dictate the frequency. If occasionally, then a few times a week make sure you treat them as a baby at the more extreme end. For example have an evening where you feed them their dinner while they sit in AB clothes and a thick diaper. Or surprise them with a whole day at the weekend where they must act like a baby.

If they’re like that more permanently, use the same guide as above but make sure they’re always in baby attire at home. You should also seriously consider creating a nursery room if possible.

Gender is easy as if that’s something they want just switch the types of diapers and clothing you buy for them and call them your baby girl, etc.

Bondage elements should generally be included if forced diapers is something they need. At a minimum use restrictive clothing to prevent them from accessing their diapers, rear zipping onesies or all-in-ones are ideal. Even adaptive clothing combined with padded mittens works well. When unsupervised access to their diapers should be prevented where possible and they should get used to asking to be changed or released if they’re changing themselves.

A locking diaper cover or belt is a good addition. Finally, they should experience times when they’re completely restrained and using their diapers is forced upon them. For daytime a straightjacket is ideal and it is perfect to watch TV together or prevent them from using their phone. My favorite is using bed restraints combined with an overnight laxative so they experience a true feeling of helplessness.

Summary

Hopefully this has been helpful and helps you understand what your partner identifies as. If this all feels too much I’d recommend starting with the diaper and usage elements first as this is normally the most important step and then layer in the AB and forced elements over the next couple of months.

I’m also conscious that I’ve likely missed off a big section I should have covered so let me know in the comments.

Aww! You filled your diaper, but mommy is a bit busy right now, so she doesn't have time to change you.

But it's icky? It's starting to itch and it feels really gross? Okay sweetie, here's some things you can do to try earning a change early.

🎀 Ask Mama what chores you can do around the house.

🐌 Sit quietly and play with your toys.

⛈️ Go in it some more. Clearly you haven't used your diaper enough to need a change. (this may backfire.)

🎺 Throw a temper tantrum (this will probably backfire.)

😵‍💫 Humiliate yourself. Tell her you're just a baby who can't make it to the potty without a grown-up's help, and now you need an adults help because you've went wee-wee in your diaper.

😮‍💨 Accept it. Mama's the boss around here. If she tells you that she doesn't want to change a saggy diaper right now, you just really don't have a choice in the matter.

🥰 Reblog with what emoji you're going with! 🥰

Adventure (Part 4- A Messy Ending)

Slipping into your nursery I watch as you lay on the floor your jeans are on the floor next to you. Your legs are moving as you talk to your stuffies. Babbling away around your paci, your plastic pants and diaper crinkling away. You are being very patient and not rubbing your diaper again or humping against the floor which is how I find you most days.

Quietly I slip out of my shoes and jeans. Kneeling down on the floor I quietly crawl closer to you. You finally realize I’m there and make grabby hands for me as you smile behind your paci. Taking your hands in mine I kiss them and then place them back on your chest. Tugging your plastic pants they easily unsnap revealing your well used diaper. You blush as I tease you about how easy you make your nursery smell like a real nursery.

Sliding your legs back together I crawl up your body and lift myself up enough that you can peek down and see my slippery kitty. Lowering myself down I start rocking my hips your squishy and messy diaper squishes against you. Rubbing over your already sensitive peepee through your diaper. You know this is the closest you will ever get to my kitty during baby time.

“What’s the matter baby? Did you rub too much on your own?”

You blush and grab your blanket hiding under it. As you hide you feel me shift more as I sit up and rock my hips more, you moan and whimper as I do so knowing that you can’t make cummies without permission. Smiling I take your hand and place them on my naked chest. You wiggle out from under your blanket to see that while you were hiding I slipped my top off. Leaning down I kiss you through your paci and gently tug your paci free from your mouth by the loop. You squeeze my breast harder as I place your paci next to us.

Raising my eyebrow in warning you look up at me sheepishly. Leaning over you I lower my nipple to your lips. You latch on and nurse as I rub your diaper. Still teasing, bringing you to the edge and stopping when you get so close. I play with the top of your diaper chuckling when I can see you thinking I’m about to set you free and play with you like a real man, but deep down you know just like mommy that you are mommy’s baby boy who only gets to make cummies in his diaper.

Slipping off of you I sit in your crib, my back against the bars and patting the space next to me. You watch me knowingly as you crawl up in your crib kneeling next to me. Then lay across my lap with your messy bottom up in the air. Rubbing my hand over your messy diapered bottom I smile at the fact that you can’t help but hump against my lap still trying to find some relief. Slowly I start spanking your bottom and upper thighs.

Reminding you that you were naughty while we were out today. Trying to make cummies without asking by rubbing and playing with your diaper. Slipping your stuffie into your arms reminding you that you were rubbing them against your diaper earlier with no shame or cares. Your hips start to stutter and I know you are close when I tell you to, “make cummies in your stinky diaper for mommy sweetheart.” You cry out moaning loudly as you make cummies.

Rubbing your back gently I have you stay across my lap as you catch your breath and then I gently slip out from under you. Handing your your stuffie to snuggle you pout. I tease your pouty lip and remind you if you pout too much that your stuffie may be the only thing you are ever allowed to hump when making cummies. You look at me in shock then relax back into your pillows as you see me grabbing the changing supplies.

Holding up your fresh diaper I remind you the next time you play too much with your diaper without permission the diaper you are wearing you will stay in, small holes will be made, and then this fresh diaper will go over it. You nod your head knowing not to argue and grimacing as all of your messes are staring to cool against your skin. Still naked I slip between your legs and start the task of changing your diaper. You are torn between hiding behind your stuffie in embarrassment or watching me as I change your diaper

(Part 4 of 4)

Hope you enjoyed the mini adventure 😁

Hi! I’ve been going around Tumblr wanting to ask this question to a few Mommies to get a better understand of how I should go about this, but do you have any tips for new Mommies? My boy friend recently came out to me about his fetish and wants to start incorporating it into our lives every now and again. Though… I’m quite submissive in my own right and not sure how I should go about acting or feeling about any of this. I want to be what he wants and enjoy it too. I think I just need some help. Thank you in advance 🧡

Ok so there's no short answer to this.

First things first: in my opinion, the most important foundation for any kink-related activity is enthusiastic, informed consent from everyone involved. Please make sure you’re not being pressured into doing anything you don’t truly want to do. Consent isn’t just about saying “yes” — it’s about feeling safe, comfortable, and excited about what you’re participating in.

If something makes you uncomfortable or you’re not enjoying it, don’t do it. I strongly advise against engaging in anything that doesn’t bring you some form of pleasure or fulfillment. Your enjoyment and wellbeing matter just as much as anyone else's.

It’s tricky to offer detailed advice about the dynamic without knowing more about what your partner is interested in exploring, but I’ll do my best. 

The "Mummy" in me has always been there (I just didn't recognise it as that until it was introduced to me by an ABDL).

 I've always been nurturing and caring and I like being in charge, I was born to lead- but gently, which is why being a Mummy suits me- I adore it. Also I don't know if your partner is interested in exploring diapers but sadly, I know that many DL's feel a lot of shame around this desire. I have always been passionate about creating and celebrating joy- regardless of how 'weird' other people may think it is- my number one priority as a Mummy is to empower and encourage my little to embrace the diaper-loving side of him without shame- in fact we celebrate it!

I could easily delve into all the amazing reasons I love being a Mummy, but that is not what you asked!

I would recommend having a very open discussion with your partner about what parts of the MDlb dynamic appeals to him, and talk about how you can incorporate into your relationship- in a way that you enjoy also- are there any parts that appeal to you?

For some it's just sexual, for others it's a lifestyle. No two Mummy's are the same and two little's are the same.

The most important thing to remember is that as long as everything is ethical, respectful, and all parties involved are consenting adults, there is absolutely no shame in exploring this "adult playtime".

I’m not sure if your partner identifies as AB, but what I will say is that there can be a lot of shame and misunderstanding surrounding this. It’s important to remember that interests like this often stem from a need for comfort, emotional safety, or stress relief — not something “wrong” or unhealthy. Like any kink or identity, it deserves the same respect and acceptance as any other. If your partner has shared this, it probably means they trust you. Try to meet that vulnerability with curiosity and empathy. You don’t have to fully understand or participate right away — or ever — but approaching the topic without judgment helps build a safe space for you both.

My tips to start:

• Ask your partner what this dynamic means to them. Everyone experiences it differently — for some, it’s about emotional comfort/ regression; for others, it may include elements of kink. Understanding the “why” behind it can help you feel less uncertain. Is it about diapers or regression? Is it about loss of control or humiliation? Just make sure it’s not about removing all responsibility in the relationship — you deserve to be considered, respected, and prioritised as a partner.

Yes, as a Mummy, it’s my job to make sure my baby feels cared for and looked after — but he also has a responsibility to completely adore and worship me, and to do his best to make me happy and proud.

• Set boundaries. Don't feel pressured to do everything at once. It’s okay to take your time, and set limits. Consent and comfort go both ways.

• You don’t have to ‘roleplay’. When I'm a Mummy it's just an extension of who I am. I know some people are put off by the idea of being a “caregiver” because they assume it means doing everything for their partner. Let me be clear: being a Mummy does NOT mean becoming a slave to this man.

• Learn together. If you’re unsure or feel awkward, communicate with your partner and remember- it's ok to laugh!- sex is hilarious when you think about it. Kink doesn’t have to be serious.

Continue to read blogs, watch videos, connect with people/communities online- to give you a broader understanding of the dynamic and 'cherry pick' what works for you.

• Aftercare and regular check-ins are essential in my opinion. This dynamic often involves a lot of emotional vulnerability for both parties, it blurs alot of lines.

Make time to check in with each other — not just about what felt good, but also about what didn’t. Feeling safe, seen, and heard is important for both of you. Communication is so important, don't be frightened of it.

we must romanticize negotiation the same way we have for aftercare. i’m losing it over here. please don’t have kinky sex without talking about your limits and desires with your partner

Diapers Are You: Truth, Acceptance, and Becoming Whole

You have always known. The quiet tug in your chest when you saw them. The pulse of longing that never faded. The way your mind wrapped around the thought of them even when you tried to let it go. You may have told yourself it was a habit, a fantasy, a quirk of your desires. But it has always been more than that. It has been truth.

Diapers are not something you chose. They are something that has always been part of you. Maybe you hid from it. Maybe you tried to push it away, stuffing it into the corners of your life where no one would see. Maybe you spent years wondering if you could live without them, if you should live without them. But the answer was always waiting in the silence.

There is a reason you feel at home when you wear them. A reason you crave their presence, their thickness, their softness, their security. A reason the thought of being without them stirs something uneasy inside you. Because diapers are not just something you put on. They are something you are.

And yet, for so long, you may have resisted. You may have believed the world’s voice over your own. You may have thought that denying this truth would make it disappear. But truth does not vanish. It lingers. It waits. It returns in dreams, in quiet moments, in the way your body aches for what it has always known. The only question is whether you will accept it.

Acceptance is not about giving in. It is about becoming whole. It is about recognizing that you were never broken, never wrong, never something to be fixed. The world taught you to doubt yourself, to second-guess your desires, to believe that something so deep and undeniable must be unnatural. But the world was wrong. There is nothing more natural than aligning with who you truly are.

Diapers are not just an object. They are identity. They shape the way you move, the way you think, the way you feel safe and seen. They are the rhythm of your body, the embrace of comfort and surrender, the language of something deeper than words.

Because diapers are not separate from you. They are you.

So stop resisting. Stop second-guessing. Stop thinking of this as something outside yourself, something you allow or deny. Take hold of what you have always known. Let it settle into your bones. Let it become as natural as breath, as certain as gravity, as undeniable as your own reflection.

You are not indulging. You are not escaping. You are becoming. And you have always been.

Spooning in bed. It’s his first night wearing a diaper in front of her, something he’s secretly wanted to do for a long, long time.

“Are you gonna use your diaper tonight for Mommy?” His butt wiggles against her crotch. “Hey, stop that, or you’re going to turn me on, too,” she says. She reached around and squeezes his dick through his diaper. “You’re pretty hard, huh? But baby boys don’t get any action, do they?”

She squeezes him tighter to herself. “No, cute little wimpy guys like you don’t get any action. But I’ll tell you what, honey. If you’re good tonight, and you use your diaper for me, I’ll let you jerk off into my hand tomorrow. Does that sound good, baby? Is that fair?”

He tries to pretend to be asleep to avoid answering. “That’s not real snoring. I know you’re faking. Come on, darling, are you gonna use your diaper for me tonight?”

He slowly nods against the pillow.

“Good boy,” she says. “You might be the most obedient boy I’ve ever met. And definitely the cutest.”

Straddling a boy and cockwarming him except I'm sleepy and I lay down on top of him and take a nap while he's still inside me and shush him when he whines and complains 🤭 I'm too heavy for him to move so he uselessly grinds his hips up into mine while I snooze 🥴🥴