Percy: My Only Talent Is To Bring Stress

piper: after everything you two have been through over the last 25 years, what are the most terrifying and brutal beasts you guys have ever faced?

everyone leaning in, ready for a good story:

percy: oh that would be our children

annabeth: *nodding slowly with wide eyes as she has flashbacks*

Apollo: But I'm immortal!

Percy: Then why do you scream whenever you're in danger?

Apollo: I never said I wasn't a drama queen

Death eater: Listen here, pretty boy-

Sirius: You think I'm pretty?

Death eater: It's an insult you idiot!

Sirius: You think being pretty is an insult? Honey, who hurt you?

.....An hour later....

Death eater, crying: Then my father threw all my dolls out-

Sirius, patting his arm: Let it out, let it out

*Sirius writing a letter to James*

Sirius: Deer James,

Lily: It's Dear

Sirius: No It's not

*Sirius writing a letter to James*

Sirius: Deer James,

Lily: It's Dear

Sirius: No It's not

Camper: Why did you set your school on fire?

Percy: You're assuming I did that of my own will?

Nico: If I ever ask, "Do you want me to be honest?

Nico: Say no

Percy: Have you ever had one of those days when you're holding a stick

Percy: And e v e r y o n e looks like a freaking piñata