From “der Falsche Kalender” (“the False Calendar”) By Marc Uwe Kling (German Comedian). This

Honestly, I love these kind of excavation sites, there’s just so much to discover!

Not my meme, still funny though (in my opinion)

🥵 guardian of secrets 🐸 I will fix your girlfriend

Here's Yours Certainly Not a Porn Bot Tumblr Description Generator

possible results include: stabbing, cannibalism, frogs, blogging from Mariana Trench and being god 💖

please tag what you got!

Ok, so there’s this thing at our school that you can send a chocolate Santa to another student. This is how it works: You pay 2€, then you get a piece of paper to write down the name and class of the person you want to send a Santa to and if you want, you can add a short message. Then, on Dec 6th, that person gets a chocolate Santa plus the message you wrote them. Now, I’m planning on doing this for my little brother this year. That’s a nice thing to do, right? Yeah…except he’s allergic to chocolate and the message will be “You can’t eat this haha”. I’m a lovely sister, I know.

True

“this ship isn’t canon” to YOU. I, however, am delusional

i know this please help me

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

This is Bob. Bob the balloon. Bob just wanted you to know that you’re amazing and he hopes you have a great day!